Silly Game Elements, Round Three

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Russ Bryan

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May 14, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/14/96
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In article <4n9qph$4...@argentina.it.earthlink.net>,
card...@earthlink.net (Cardinal Teulbachs) wrote:

> Round Three, the silly characters round, starts here and now.

Name: Soupcan Sally

Description: An enthusiastic fan of the works of Andy Warhol, Sally has
been collecting soup cans for fifteen years. She has, to date,
successfully built a rather uncomfortable couch, a set of bar stools, and
a car with her collection, but she is now working on her tour de force,
The Leaning Tower of... well, she's working on the title, but at
completion it will be several hundred feet tall and represent a definitive
timeline on the history of soup in a can. Her only problem? She is
missing one of the foundation pieces of her work, an original 1818 Cream
of Anchovy. She would be extremely grateful to anyone who could help her
get her project rolling.

Appearance: Soupcan Sally is of average height, and appears to have been
out of the sun for some time. She has a cream of mushroom complexion and
a full head of chicken noodle hair, and pinned on her blouse is a huge
red-and-white button proclaiming "Never Underestimate the Power of Soup."
Her jeans are covered by the crust of at least fifteen soup products, the
most recent of which, a stain of New England clam chowder, hasn't quite
dried yet.

--

I had to slip one in there before anyone else could get the chance.

--
"Forever caught in desert lands, one | russ...@earthlink.net
Has to learn to disbelieve the sea." | Writer for Hire, Apply Within
-- Tony Banks, Genesis | All Forms of Payment Accepted

Coming soon (See Whizzard's Avalon Glossary for definition of "soon")
=-> S P H E R E: An Interactive Obsession by Russ Bryan <-=

Gerry Kevin Wilson

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May 14, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/14/96
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Hahahaha! You fool! Now look what you've done!

....

>X MAD SCIENTIST
He wears a labcoat with a button on it that reads 'Evil Geniuses for a
Better Tomorrow.' His hair, rather than being frizzed out like most mad
scientists, is nicely combed and gelled. He has a bit of peach fuzz on
his chin.

"Pardon me, would you like some of our literature? Very inexpensive."

>ASK SCIENTIST ABOUT LITERATURE
He gets a crafty gleam in his eye. "Hmm, it's here in my pocket somewhere."
Reaching into his pocket, he pulls out a watch. "Silly me, that's not it."
However, he lets the watch dangle in the air..so pretty..so shiny..so
sleepy....

"Zzzzzz..."

>WAKE UP
"Zzzzzz..."

You hear a voice in your head. "Kill the president. Kill the president.
You will kill the president when you hear the phrase, 'Your scrapple is
ready, sir.'"

>WAKE UP
You wake up. The scientist is gone.

Dan Shiovitz

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May 14, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/14/96
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Manny, the were-mongoose. (Is this pushing the "no magic" envelope? Oh
well..)

Manny, most of the time, is a short, pudgy man, who has rather a lot of
hair, sweats heavily, and speaks with a thick Brooklyn accent. Sometimes
he carries a Tommy gun* around with him, in his job as mob enforcer.
However, on one trip to India he took "back when I wuz in the army", he
was bitten by a wild mongoose when the moon was full, turning him into ...
a were-mongoose. As I said, he looks like a normal person, usually. But
whenever he sees (or thinks he sees) a cobra, viper, or other snake, he
instantly shrinks, hair sprouts, and he becomes a fairly normal-looking
mongoose. As a mongoose, he is instinguishable from all other mongooses**,
except that he continues to speak perfectly good English (no accent
anymore, oddly).

He is not too bright, and inclined to be gruff with strangers, but unless
they're carrying a reptile, he'll be at least polite.

*Or maybe that's not what I'm thinking of. One of those gangster firearms,
that get carried in violin cases.
** I believe that's the correct plural.

--
dan shiovitz scy...@u.washington.edu sh...@cs.washington.edu
slightly lost author/programmer in a world of more creative or more sensible
people ... remember to speak up for freedom because no one else will do it
for you: use it or lose it ... carpe diem -- be proactive.
my web site: http://weber.u.washington.edu/~scythe/home.html some ok stuff.


Dylan O'Donnell

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May 14, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/14/96
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scy...@u.washington.edu (Dan Shiovitz) wrote:

>mongoose. As a mongoose, he is instinguishable from all other mongooses**,

>** I believe that's the correct plural.

Polygoose, traditionally.

--
Dylan O'Donnell (dyl...@demon.net)
Demon Internet Ltd, slave deck.
A.k.a. Psmith (elsewhere). Badger? *urf*.
http://www.vy.com/psmith.html


Dylan O'Donnell

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May 14, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/14/96
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Logically enough, the Round Three archive will be at
http://www.vy.com/sillychr.txt

And here's my own paltry effort...

Undo, the God of Adventurers, is here. He looks bored.

> x undo

Undo is nondescript. He has absolutely no distinguishing features, and you
can imagine his blending into a hundred situations without being noticed.
Nothing shows of the awesome powers of deus ex machina at his command.
Two small robots, labelled on their outer casing SAVE and RESTORE, cluster
behind him.

Undo is carrying a lamp, a bunch of keys, and a bottle.

He looks bored.

How can you awaken Undo's interest? What awesome meta-game abilities will he
bestow on you? What is in Undo's bottle? (Not just water, I can assure you).

For the answers to these burning questions, wait for Cardinal Teulbach's
exciting game, coming to an ftp site near _you_ sometime before the release
of Avalon, or the Last Trump, whichever is the sooner.

Cardinal Teulbachs

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May 15, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/15/96
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Announcing the end of Round Two and beginning of Round Three

Ok, I'm much too tired to go on about this. You know the drill. I'm
looking for characters this time. I will continue to accept silly
objects for one more day (in the Round Two thread only), but Round


Three, the silly characters round, starts here and now.

I was going to try to lay out rules for you to follow, but experience
teaches that this is pretty much a waste of time :) Just invent an
interesting character and tell me something about him/her/it and I'll
use him/her/it if I can. No, I take that back. Give me a regular game
description, too, as in response to the command "examine <character>."


Thanks,

--Cardinal T

I mean, what the hell kind of villain thwarts the hero's
progress with soup cans in the kitchen pantry?
--Russ Bryan

Cardinal, I follow up your post in the hopes that some
day I too will be quoted in your sig.
--Matthew Amster-Burton


Cardinal Teulbachs

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May 15, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/15/96
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russ...@earthlink.net (Russ Bryan) wrote:

>In article <4n9qph$4...@argentina.it.earthlink.net>,
>card...@earthlink.net (Cardinal Teulbachs) wrote:

>> Round Three, the silly characters round, starts here and now.

>Name: Soupcan Sally

Sally, I take it, is the villain of this piece?

Cardinal Teulbachs

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May 15, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/15/96
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whiz...@uclink.berkeley.edu (Gerry Kevin Wilson) wrote:

>Hahahaha! You fool! Now look what you've done!

I know. I'm a glutton for punishment :)

>>X MAD SCIENTIST
>He wears a labcoat with a button on it that reads 'Evil Geniuses for a
>Better Tomorrow.' His hair, rather than being frizzed out like most mad
>scientists, is nicely combed and gelled. He has a bit of peach fuzz on
>his chin.

> ...snipped...


>You hear a voice in your head. "Kill the president. Kill the president.
>You will kill the president when you hear the phrase, 'Your scrapple is
>ready, sir.'"

Workable. Definitely workable...

David Dyte

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May 15, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/15/96
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The Cardinal wrote:

>
> I was going to try to lay out rules for you to follow, but experience
> teaches that this is pretty much a waste of time :) Just invent an
> interesting character and tell me something about him/her/it and I'll
> use him/her/it if I can. No, I take that back. Give me a regular game
> description, too, as in response to the command "examine <character>."
>
>

To which I reply:

A young lady strolls in from the west.

>x lady

The lady wears faded jeans and a t-shirt with the slogan "Meat is
Murder" on it. She is carrying an empty packet labelled "Rice Cakes."

>lady, hello

"Hi. My name is Jane. Do you know where I could get some food round here?"

>give jelly to jane

"No thanks. That contains animal products. I am a vegan."

>give bacon to jane

"I'd really rather not, thanks all the same."

>give scrapple to jane

Jane looks a little nauseous.

>give lettuce to jane

"Oh. Thankyou so much."

Jane takes the lettuce leaf, smiles and gives you a small gift.


- David Dyte

Now, Russian dolls, there's an item bound to annoy even the most hardened
interactive fictioner.


Steven Howard

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May 15, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/15/96
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In <4n9qph$4...@argentina.it.earthlink.net>, card...@earthlink.net (Cardinal Teulbachs) writes:
>Announcing the end of Round Two and beginning of Round Three
>
>I was going to try to lay out rules for you to follow, but experience
>teaches that this is pretty much a waste of time :) Just invent an
>interesting character and tell me something about him/her/it and I'll
>use him/her/it if I can. No, I take that back. Give me a regular game
>description, too, as in response to the command "examine <character>."
>
>

Okay, the game transcript version first:

Herr Professor Gedankenexperiment is here.

>examine professor

Herr Professor Gedankenexperiment looks back at you with a bemused expression on his
wrinkled-apple face. Running a self-conscious hand through his white mop of unkempt
hair, he consults the clipboard he wears on a chain around his neck (so he won't lose it,
you assume). "No time to chat now. Science cannot wait!"

. . .

Professor Gedankenexperiment is an applied theoretical physicist. He's devoted his life to
actually conducting all those "impossible" thought experiments you remember from physics
class. He's constantly shutting cats up in boxes with randomly-triggered vials of prussic
acid, dropping things down infinitely-long elevator shafts, trying to decelerate tachyons
below the speed of light, and so on. If he gets his hands on the darklight, he'll start
experimenting, trying to derive the "speed of darkness."

========
Steven Howard
bl...@ibm.net

What's a nice word for "euphemism"?

Dan Shiovitz

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May 15, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/15/96
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In article <1996May1...@vaxc.cc.monash.edu.au>,
David Dyte <dd...@vaxc.cc.monash.edu.au> wrote:
[..]

>Now, Russian dolls, there's an item bound to annoy even the most hardened
>interactive fictioner.

>I
You have a large Russian doll.
>LOOK IN DOLL
You can't see inside, because it is closed.
>OPEN DOLL THEN LOOK IN DOLL
Inside the large Russian doll you see a slightly smaller Russian doll.
>GET DOLL FROM DOLL
Taken.
>LOOK IN DOLL
Which doll do you mean, the large Russian doll or the slightly smaller
Russian doll?
>SMALLER
You can't see inside, because it is closed.
>OPEN SMALLER THEN LOOK IN SMALLER
Inside the slightly smaller Russian doll, you see an even smaller Russian
doll.
>GET X-RAY SPECTACLES
Taken.
>WEAR THEM
Ok. Your vision seems to get a little clearer..
>LOOK IN DOLL
Which doll do you mean, the large Russian doll, the slightly smaller Russian
doll, or the even smaller Russian doll?
>THIRD DOLL
Inside the even smaller Russian doll, you see a yet smaller Russian doll.
Inside the yet smaller Russian doll, you see a very small Russian doll.
Inside the very small Russian doll, you see a really small Russian doll.
Inside the really small Russian doll, you see an extremely small Russian doll.
[...]
Inside the extra-tiny Russian doll, you see an itsy-bitsy Russian doll.
Inside the itsy-bitsy Russian doll, you see a key.
>GET KEY
You can't reach the key, not without opening all those dolls first.
>THROW DOLL AWAY
It drops on the ground, all the dolls falling apart. The key drops to the
ground.
>GET KEY.
Taken.
>NORTH
Oh, no you don't. Not till you put all the dolls away like you found them.
>QUIT
Cheater!

*** You have left a mess behind ***

Stephen Granade

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May 15, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/15/96
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Here we go...

Bertha, the Muse of BS, is here.

>x bertha

A large woman wearing a greasy apron and a hairnet, Bertha used to live on
Olympus with the other muses. That was before the downsizing began, when
many of the lesser muses were let go. Now she wanders the earth,
bestowing the gift of blarney to any and all who need it, and working as a
short-order cook when times are hard.

>bertha, hi

"Hey, hon," she says, taking her cigarette from her mouth. "What'cha
need, a term paper? A business presentation?"

She is, of course, the ultimate authority for anyone needing to talk/write
about something they know nothing about.

Stephen

--
Stephen Granade | "You fools! Money doesn't put fish
sgra...@phy.duke.edu | on the table! FISH puts fish on
Duke University, Physics Dept | the table!"
| -- Mr. Smartypants, from The Tick

Michael Gehm

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May 15, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/15/96
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Cardinal Teulbachs writes

> Announcing the end of Round Two and beginning of Round Three
>

The Four Hitchhikers of the Apocalypse

>Examine Hitchhikers

Before you stand the imposing figures of Politics, Munchies, Common
Cold, and Near-Death Experience--the lesser-known, and often tardy kin of
War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death, otherwise known as the Four Horsemen
of the Apocalypse. One can only suppose that the relative fame of the two
groups is related to the speed of their respective modes of
transportation.

Politics wears a navy-blue Brooks Brothers suit, is rail-thin,
photogenic as hell, and shoots you a smarmy smile.

Munchies is wearing a badly-stained grey sweatsuit that barely contains
his hefty paunch. He is unshaven and is carrying a bag of Fritos and a
pint of premium ice-cream.

Common-Cold is dressed in a threadbare, blue terrycloth bathrobe. The
pockets of the robe contain a multitude of used and unused facial tissues.
His eyes are bloodshot and puffy, his face is flushed, and his nose is
beet-red.

Near-Death Experience wears a loose, flowing, almost gauze-like gown.
Around her neck is a quartz crystal pendant. Her face bears the most
serene expression you have ever seen. She seems uninterested in the world
around her.

--
Michael Gehm 1-919-660-2558
Duke University, Dept. of Physics mg...@phy.duke.edu
Box 90305, Durham N.C. 27708-0305, USA

Den of Iniquity

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May 15, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/15/96
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On 14th May 1436, Cardinal Teulbachs wrote:

> Round Three, the silly characters round, starts here and now.

Ok, a nice easy one, in thanks for the darklight inclusion. And Look! No
meat products! (I refuse to take any blame for that - real pasties
contain more potato than anything else and I submitted the pastie shoppe
before seeing any other examples (food-containing or otherwise) at all.)

Mathematics Graduate

Standing here is a young, clean-shaven graduate in all his robes,
clutching a large envelope.

> X GRADUATE

He is in his early twenties, wearing, over his suit, a dark grey gown,
hood and mortar, the latter with its tassle bobbing before his right eye.
Curiously the coloured border of his hood seems to shift from dark blue to
white and back again as you watch it. He is holding a large white
envelope.

> ASK GRADUATE ABOUT ENVELOPE

"Oh, that's my degree certificate. I got a first-class degree!" he beams.

[then he will add the following, which also belongs to
> ASK GRADUATE ABOUT HOOD ]

"But they did something strange, you see. I got my degree in maths, but
they then sealed the certificate in a box with a computer and a printer
and set up an experiment with a radioactive isotope or something. After a
certain time period the isotope may or may not have decayed - if it did
then the computer printed 'BSc', if not then 'BA'. Then the envelope was
sealed with the certificate inside it before anyone could observe whether
the quantum event - the decay - had happened."
He grins. "So until the envelope is opened, I am both a BSc and a BA
simultaneously!"

> ASK GRADUATE FOR CERTIFICATE

He politely refuses. "I don't want anybody opening it."

> GIVE [ _meat_or_gelatine_product_class ] TO GRADUATE

He grimaces slightly. "No thanks. I'm a vegetarian."

Plus any other responses which would help him to fit into your game.
(Aren't I nice?) Take care of the English English spellings - you'll have
to be consistent in one form of the language or another.

Will there be a round four? The silly verbs round? Maybe not.


Den

Matthew Daly

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May 15, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/15/96
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In article <4n9qph$4...@argentina.it.earthlink.net> card...@earthlink.net (Cardinal Teulbachs) writes:
>Announcing the end of Round Two and beginning of Round Three
>
>Just invent an
>interesting character and tell me something about him/her/it and I'll
>use him/her/it if I can. No, I take that back. Give me a regular game
>description, too, as in response to the command "examine <character>."

Well, I feel obliged to put a page-break here. :-)

The Spoiler is here.

> Examine Spoiler

The Spoiler is a middle-aged man, with hair that is grown long down one
side so that it can be combed over his still-all-too-obvious bald spot
on top of his head. He smells faintly of burboun and cheap cigars,
although you cannot tell if the smell comes from his breath or his
slightly-stained unfashionable suit.

The Spoiler walks up to you and whispers loudly "You know, Rosebud was
a SLED," and sneaks away, seemingly afraid that someone else heard
him.

(In the game, the Spoiler would follow the character around, somewhat
like the Jester in Zork Zero. Sometimes it would just be to watch
the player at crucial locations, giggling to himself at the player's
failure to understand a problem. The Spoiler could give away
obvious climactic moments from movies and television as in the
example above, or give hints to problems in the game that the
player has already solved. Perhaps at one point, the Spoiler could
give a hint to a crushingly difficult puzzle that the player would
not have been able to solve without the "walkthrough" hint.)

-Matthew Daly

Russ Bryan

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May 15, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/15/96
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In article <4nd769$7...@kodak.rdcs.Kodak.COM>, da...@PPD.Kodak.COM (Matthew
Daly) wrote:

> The Spoiler is a middle-aged man, with hair that is grown long down one
> side so that it can be combed over his still-all-too-obvious bald spot
> on top of his head. He smells faintly of burboun and cheap cigars,
> although you cannot tell if the smell comes from his breath or his
> slightly-stained unfashionable suit.
>
> The Spoiler walks up to you and whispers loudly "You know, Rosebud was
> a SLED," and sneaks away, seemingly afraid that someone else heard
> him.

Oh, that's good. That's one of the best characters I've even HEARD
about. Bravo.

====================== russ...@earthlink.net ======================


Coming soon (See Whizzard's Avalon Glossary for definition of "soon")
=-> S P H E R E: An Interactive Obsession by Russ Bryan <-=

=====================================================================

George E Caswell

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May 15, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/15/96
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On 15 May 1996, David Dyte wrote:

> Now, Russian dolls, there's an item bound to annoy even the most hardened
> interactive fictioner.
>

(hee hee hee!)

"Which small doll do you mean, the small wooden russian doll, the smaller
than small wooden russian doll, the smaller than smaller than small wooden
russian doll, or the smallest wooden russian doll?"

T I M B U K T U
________________ _/>_ _______
<___ ___________// __/<___ /
// <> _____ <_ > / ____/
// /> / / __/ / / <___________
// </ </</</ <_ _/ <_____________/
</ </


Rene Schnoor

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May 15, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/15/96
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The Man in the Moon
Falling down from the sky seems to have made him pretty hostile. His
gargantuan body, completely made out of delicios green cheese, is shining
with an omnious glow.


>SMELL CHEESE
A strong scent, but not repulsive.

>EAT MAN
You take a bite of the cheese and find it quite yummy! There is still enough
left to last for a couple of centuries, though.

>AIM DARKLIGHT TORCH AT THE MAN IN THE MOON
He goes into total eclipse and completely disappears from the view!

You can now go north.

--
Rene


George E Caswell

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May 15, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/15/96
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King Lester, the uninspired.

The stories of King Lester, known as the uninspired, the unimaginative,
the challenged, and 'the retard', have been far and wide. Scholars of
recent history have called him the least impressive king of the Gurglespit
dynasty or, for that matter, any other dynasty, in any other land, on any
other world. Lester's rule is a fair and prosperous one, but he has never
been very happy or popular, mostly because of his overpowering mediocrity.
In his drive to become known as one of the great kings, Lester has turned
to mimicry. His first attempts were rather sad, and possibly damaging
attempts to make the top of his skull flat. He also commissioned the
constuction of an enormous dam, which resulted in an abundance of
hydroelectric power, controlled seasonal flooding and made the engineer
who designed it a national hero and settled a custody battle by
threatening to cut the child in half, which just confused all present,
until various members of the court told him to sit down and shut up. Most
recently he's tried touching various things to see what they turn into
(footnote 1) and tried to make himself known as 'the king with the touch
that turns things into what they were before, but with a fingerprint on
them'. His current stake at fame is a poorly conceived attempt to play
'the wise king.'.

>Examine the king.

His skull looks oddly misshapen. He wears a bandage under his bent
crown. All about him are crumpled pieces of paper.

>Take a piece of paper. Read it.

Taken. It reads, "A house divided will be smaller than it was, unless
you're dividing by a fraction."

>Footnote 1

- Historian's note - The King was rather surprised to see when he
touched a person, it didn't turn into a person with a fingerprint on it,
but a person with a fingerprint on it and a pretty good lawsuit on its
hands. -

Paul Trauth

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May 16, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/16/96
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Cardinal Teulbachs (card...@earthlink.net) wrote:
: Announcing the end of Round Two and beginning of Round Three

---

Mister Squishy is here.

> examine squishy

Mr. Squishy is a perfectly normal octopus. About five feet long from
outstretched tentacle-tip to the end of his bulbuous head. 'His' being
a pronoun of convenience, as you haven't the foggiest idea how to tell
the sex of an octopus. Mr. Squishy is purple with orange spots, and
floats lazily in the air, his huge, soulful eyes on level with yours.

> squishy, tell me about life

"Blort?"

Mr. Squishy turns a pleasant shade of amber, with lime-green stripes.

> give scrapple to squishy

Mr. Squishy disappears behind a rapidly-expanding cloud of black smoke.

> l

You are engulfed in a cloud of noisome black smoke. You can't see a thing.

> z

The smoke clears.

> z

Mr. Squishy peeks nervously out from behind a door, then, with a flip of
his tentacles, glides out into plain sight again.

Mr. Squishy turns turquoise.

---

As is apparant from the sample transcript, Mr. Squishy's color changes at
random every few turns. And he seems to be frightened of scrapple.

--
"But I don't want no tea. It gives me a headache." - Pete Puma
paul trauth: cartoonist, animator, programmer, raccoon. rac...@gs.net


Dr G.T. Parks

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May 16, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/16/96
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Cardinal Teulbachs (card...@earthlink.net) wrote:
> Announcing the end of Round Two and beginning of Round Three

---

Dee-Dee the dog is here.

> examine dog

Dee-Dee is a rather plump English Bull Terrier. She is predominantly
white with black ears. She waddles towards you looking expectant.

> stroke dog

As you stroke Dee-Dee she emits a strange grunting noise. At first you
think she may be growling but soon you realise that it is a canine form
of purring. Your stroking is helping Dee-Dee to shed and you rapidly
acquire a handful of short white hairs.

> feed dog

You offer Dee-Dee [any foodstuff - even scrapple!] and she wolfs it down
with great delight. Her tail wags furiously as she looks up at you with
adoration. You have clearly made a friend for life.

> n

Dee-Dee waddles after you. She alternates expectant glances at you with
detailed exploring of the surroundings (doubtless in search of more food).
Her sensitive nose will be able to unearth many tasty morsels you might
overlook.

---

As should be apparent, Dee-Dee is very motivated by food. Once you have fed
her she will follow you almost anywhere (but not through water). If you are
quick enough you may be able to retrieve edible objects she discovers before
they are completely devoured.

---

Geoff Parks

David Fletcher

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May 16, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/16/96
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Cardinal Teulbachs (card...@earthlink.net) wrote:
> Announcing the end of Round Two and beginning of Round Three

Mr Sycophant is here.

>x him
Mr Sycophant looks very pleased to see you here. He is a nondescript little
man, wearing a grey suit and carrying a notepad and pen.

>n. e. slay dragon (just an example - I'm not trying to get a dragon in too)
You have killed the dragon!

>z

Mr Sycophant runs in from the west!

"Wow - you killed that dragon. No-one's ever done that before. You're so
amazing."

He makes notes in his book.

> get treasure hoard
[Your score has gone up by seven points]

"Did you see that? Seven points, you got there. You must have hundreds by
now. Thousands!"

>n
Your way is blocked by a locked door.

"I expect you'll be getting through there pretty swiftly. Look at the way
you killed that dragon there, that didn't take you long. Yes, you'll be
through there in a jiffy, all right."

>kill mr sycophant
He parries your blow with his notepad, then begins scribbling excitedly,
talking at the same time.

"How _do_ you do it? No-one else would ever have thought to try killing me
like that. That's what I admire about you, the way you think of everything."

[etc]

Mr Sycophant should become more and more encouraging the longer the player
spends failing to do anything. He should harp on about the player's
previous successes, especially the most minor ones.

--

David Fletcher


L.J. Wischik

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May 16, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/16/96
to

Two short yellow furred frowning Zaks stand fuming in the middle of the
road, blocking the way to all passers-by. One has 'North going' written
on his front, the other 'South going.'

>ask [North/South Zak][Zaks] about [North/South]
The North-going Zak replies: I'm a north going Zak, and I go north. I'm
not going to budge, not one inch. The South-going Zak interrupts: And I'm
a south going Zak who goes South. Only south. Not East, not West, but
South. If this north-going Zak thinks I'm going to move out of his way,
he has another thing coming.

I'd be inclined to leave them there and have the player have to work
around them. But perhaps it'd be more text-adventurish if the player had
to sort out their problems for them. Probably doing it purely by
negotiation, and by asking them lots of questions, and by suggesting
things to them softly and gently. I guess each of the two would have
different states, and what they say and what they do depends on the state
they are in. Maybe the clue for what to say to get them out of this
initial confrontation will be something you pick up elsewhere. Or maybe
you find a star-bellied-Sneetch machine.

--
Lucian

Larry Smith

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May 16, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/16/96
to

Cardinal Teulbachs wrote:

> Ok, I'm much too tired to go on about this. You know the drill. I'm
> looking for characters this time.

The Bug

Sticking to the ceiling is one of the oddest creatures you have
ever seen. A squat, chitinous body, eight legs terminating in
what look rather like balls of clay, and an eyeless head that
swivels back and forth as if the creature were somehow watching
you anyway. Three sets of spidery arms project from the front
of the creature, each tipped with three finger-like tendrils.
The thing is abuot six feet long overall.

> say hello

The bug executes a complex gesture with its multiple limbs.

> n

The bug follows you, remaining on the ceiling.

You are at the pit.

> take rope

Taken.

> throw end of rope to bug

The bug catches the rope. It seems momentarily puzzled, but
then grips the rope tightly with all six limbs and scurries to
a point directly over the middle of the pit, where it seems to
hunker down and brace itself.

> swing over pit

You reach the far side of the pit just as the bug is pulled
loose from the ceiling. It drops into the pit, still holding
the rope. The rope goes taut in your hands.

> pull rope

The rope goes slack.

> look in pit

The bug is scuttling up the side the pit. It reaches the lip
on your side and continues up until it is once again straight
overhead.

> shine darklight on bug

The bug is shrouded in darkness.

> n

You are in a wide cavern. The ceiling is shrouded in darkness,
but the ground is covered with stalagmites and brilliantly
colored flowstone.

> turn off darklight

You are in a wide cavern. The ceiling is covered with glistening
stalactites and curtains of flowstone, and the ground is covered
with stalagmites and brilliantly colored flowstone.

There is a bug sticking to the ceiling among the stalactites.


The bug is based on a particularly weird character a friend of
mine made up for an rpg game we were in many years ago. It is
called an "ishviceneesht" and it's a highly intelligent being
with a strongly pacifistic outlook. It is quite blind, but it
generates an electromagnetic field that gives it the equivalent
of omnidirectional sight out to a distance of about ten meters.
Ishviceneesht communicate using a gesture langauge that no human
will ever speak without a severe speech impediment. The creature
really cannot see colors, nor does its form of sight enable it to
see shadows - the world is all one shade of grey - but it is
therefore quite at home in the dark and would not notice the
darklight at all. It's propensity for remaining on the ceiling
keeps it out of harm's way, it could be potentially useful to
the player as illustrated in the hypothetical puzzle above, but
it's primary use in the game might be to work with the darklight
to accomplish something that cannot be done by the player without
light. I will leave the up to your imagination. Other notes: the
ishviceneesht has a dry, noodging sense of humor - it loves gentle
but humorous practical jokes, and it is agoraphobic - it hates
being anyplace where its electromagnetic sight cannot find a wall,
which means it will refuse to go outside or into very large caves.

If you need a game purpose, the ishviceneesht is an explorer
carrying out a survey for an orbiting ishviceneesht starship.
Once it has completed its objective by observing a local in-
telligent life form, it will return to its landing craft and
blast off - perhaps leaving some useful piece of information
or artifact for the local. Ishviceneesht like everybody, so
they form friends easily.

A friend of mine once drew a picture of an ishviceneesht com-
municator - it was a flat box with an ultrasound scanner in the
front, a pole sticking straight out to be held in the mouth, so
all siz arms were free, and it had six tiny jointed metal arms
sticking out of the sides. Too bad the competition for silly
objects is closed...

bonni mierzejewska

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May 16, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/16/96
to

> Announcing the end of Round Two and beginning of Round Three

Peggy Sue

>examine peggy

Before you stands a beautiful, freshly-shorn ewe. Her fleece is a
beautiful silvery grey, while her face and lower legs are jet-black. Her
abdomen is distended in what is unmistakeably late pregnancy (you're sure
she's going to have triplets, she so huge, and she's a big girl to begin
with).

Beautiful golden brown sheep eyes, with their peculiar
horizontally-slanted pupils, look at you adoringly (and, you think,
calculatedly) as she ambles over and rubs her head against your leg.

>scratch peggy

Where do you want to scratch her?

>neck

Peggy Sue almost purrs as she stretches out her neck, enjoying the
attention. (This ewe must surely think she's a dog!)

Observing that you don't have the plastic orange McDonald's Halloween
bucket she knows to be the grain bucket, she begins to search your back
pockets for anything edible.

>go east

You can't get anywhere with Peggy Sue following you, getting in your way,
bumping her head against your backside, and generally making a nuisance of
herself. (You seem to recall that she likes grain...)

>drop corn

A stampede of pregnant ewes (plus a couple of tame wethered goats) comes
out of nowhere, competing with Peggy Sue for the delicious golden grains
of maize.

> go east

Peggy Sue is more interested in food than attention. As you leave, you
notice a flock of varied-coloured chickens hastening to join the sheep at
the grain.

----
This is based on a real animal, one of my currently-pregnant ewes. She
really does act this way, too. She will find and eat anything edible you
happen to have on your person (adventurers, guard your food rations!), and
she'll follow you around, being a general pest, until you give her
something to eat.

If you show up *with* the orange plastic McDonald's Halloween bucket, all
the pregnant ewes (plus a couple of tame wethered goats) will stampede
toward you. (A rather imposing sight. Watch your toes!) They will crowd
around, trying to get to the bucket. One of the goats may even jump up on
you like a dog would, getting mud (and other unmentionable material)
wherever his hooves land. If you don't have grain, eventually they get
bored and go away. Except Peggy Sue.

:)
bonni
coming soon - 1996 IF Competition entry
__ __
IC | XC | bonni mierzejewska "The Lone Quilter"
---+--- | u6...@wvnvm.wvnet.edu
NI | KA | Kelly's Creek Homestead, Maidsville, WV

Roger Carbol

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May 16, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/16/96
to

In a previous article, card...@earthlink.net (Cardinal Teulbachs) says:

>Announcing the end of Round Two and beginning of Round Three

There is a Vehement Vegetarian here.

>EXAMINE VEGETARIAN

The vegetarian is looking especially vehement today. From a
glossy crop of hair to healthy-looking fingernails, it appears as
if the vegetarian knows a thing or two about nutrition.
The vegetarian notices that you're carrying a meat by-product
and frowns vehemently.

>EXAMINE MEAT BY-PRODUCT

Despite the TOFU label you stuck on the meat by-product, it's
pretty obvious that it is more related to a carcass than a mutilated
soy plant.

>EXAMINE CARROT

The carrot is hiding in your coat pocket. "Don't let me be
eaten!" it begs in a pathetic, orange voice.

--
Roger Carbol // uq...@freenet.Victoria.BC.CA // source of vitamins


Larry Smith

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May 16, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/16/96
to

Cardinal Teulbachs wrote:

> whiz...@uclink.berkeley.edu (Gerry Kevin Wilson) wrote:

> >>X MAD SCIENTIST

> >You hear a voice in your head. "Kill the president. Kill the president.
> >You will kill the president when you hear the phrase, 'Your scrapple is
> >ready, sir.'"

> Workable. Definitely workable...

One cannot but hope the FBI subversive detector filters triggered
at least three times on _this_ series of posts...

Roger Giner-Sorolla

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May 16, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/16/96
to

On 16 May 1996, Paul Trauth wrote:

> Mr. Squishy is a perfectly normal octopus. About five feet long from
> outstretched tentacle-tip to the end of his bulbuous head. 'His' being
> a pronoun of convenience, as you haven't the foggiest idea how to tell
> the sex of an octopus.

Ask it a question. If he answers, it's male. If she answers, it's female.

Roger Giner-Sorolla New York University, New York, NY
gi...@xp.psych.nyu.edu Dept. of Psychology (Social/Personality)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This scholar, rake, Christian, dupe, gamester, and poet.
David Garrick, "Jupiter and Mercury"


Brad O`Donnell

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May 16, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/16/96
to Cardinal Teulbachs

Cardinal Teulbachs wrote:
>
> Announcing the end of Round Two and beginning of Round Three
>
> Ok, I'm much too tired to go on about this. You know the drill. I'm
> looking for characters this time. I will continue to accept silly
> objects for one more day (in the Round Two thread only), but Round

> Three, the silly characters round, starts here and now.
>
> I was going to try to lay out rules for you to follow, but experience
> teaches that this is pretty much a waste of time :) Just invent an

> interesting character and tell me something about him/her/it and I'll
> use him/her/it if I can. No, I take that back. Give me a regular game
> description, too, as in response to the command "examine <character>."
>
>

Okey-dokey, here goes:

>LOOK

You are in one of the many demented locations in the Silly Game.
Searching fretfully, a man with a cord sticking out the back of his neck
almost engages you in conversation, but backs away shyly at the last
second.

>X CORD

The cord grows out of the base of his skull. Suntanned human skin,
instead of plastic, covers the wires inside. Copper leads stick out
from a squareish knob of bone at the end of the cord--(Engraved?) on the
bone are the letters "th3-15F".
"Please don't touch that," the man says noncommitally.

>X MAN

A few seconds' examination reveals--Good Lord! This man has a
keyboard on his ample forehead! Worse yet, it's a Dvorak! You shudder
to think of the perverse sense of humour that bestowed this soul with
such a diabolical torture device...And then you retch all over his
shoes.
"Thanks, idiot!" he taps the letter 'i' on his forehead.

>TALK MAN

"My name is Aserty, and I have know idea why."

>TALK ASERTY

"You know how it is..."Join the Army, we'll pay for your college!"
Yeah, right!"

or

"I don't s'ppose you've got any aspirin? I've got the most terrible
headache..."

or

"It's not really so bad...my last girlfriend was a secretary. Ooh
Yeah, press Alt again baby!--Sorry, lost myself for a second."

*****************************************

Anyway, that's the general idea. I'm sure Aserty could be connected up
to something, or he would be useful somewhere, or maybe you could
reunite him with his evil lab-twin, Mowse.

Happy Authoring.

Brad O'Donnell.

--"There are millions of ways of stating the meaning
of life. You just have to believe one."

Admiral Jota

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May 17, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/17/96
to

card...@earthlink.net (Cardinal Teulbachs) writes:

>I was going to try to lay out rules for you to follow, but experience
>teaches that this is pretty much a waste of time :) Just invent an
>interesting character and tell me something about him/her/it and I'll
>use him/her/it if I can. No, I take that back. Give me a regular game
>description, too, as in response to the command "examine <character>."

Hmmm... OK, let's see if you can implement *this* one... :)

>DIAGNOSE

You are a perfectly healthy worker ant.

A large green ... 'thing' looks out from behind a leaf. It peers at you
curiously.

>X GREEN THING

The blob-like creature appears to have no real shape, undulating like a
sea of lime gelatin. The only features that you can clearly discern are a
pair of eyes, and a large gaping mouth. As it has no feet, it travels by
sliding along a trail of thick, green slime. It appears to be hungry.

The green thing slides out from behind the leaf, and starts oozing toward
you.

>N

<Description of new location.>

The green blob follows you hungrily.

>Z

Time passes.

The hideous green shape engulfs you completely, and you are quickly
smothered.

*** You have died. ***

>UNDO

Done.

>GIVE SHOES TO MONSTER

As you toss the pair of tap shoes to the creature, it instantly absorbs
them. The creature smiles, and then slows metamorphs into a pair of shoes.

>Z

Time passes.

>Z

Time passes.

The tap shoes shake, and then morph into the shape of a hideous green blob.

>X THING

The blob-like creature appears to have no real shape, undulating like a
sea of lime gelatin. The only features that you can clearly discern are a
pair of eyes, and a large gaping mouth. As it has no feet, it travels by
sliding along a trail of thick, green slime. It appears to be satisfied.

>MONSTER, MORPH

The blob smiles, and then slows metamorphs into a pair of shoes.

*****

OK, basically, the creature will follow you around once it has seen you
once, and will follow you whether you've fed it or not. It will eat
anything you give it, and can then take on the form of that object.
Giving it the command 'MORPH' will cause it to randomly transform into
one of the last three objects you fed it. Oh, and it can also change its
size whenever you change your size, so that it will always be just a bit
bigger than you are -- whether you're the size of an ant, a person, an
electron, or whatever.


--
/<-= -=-=- -= Admiral Jota =- -=-=- =->\
__/><-=- http://www.tiac.net/users/jota/ =-><\__
\><-= jo...@mv.mv.com -- Finger for PGP =-></
\<-=- -= -=- -= -==- =- -=- =- -=->/

Cardinal Teulbachs

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May 17, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/17/96
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rem...@login.dknet.dk (Rene Schnoor) wrote:
>The Man in the Moon
>Falling down from the sky seems to have made him pretty hostile. His
>gargantuan body, completely made out of delicios green cheese, is shining
>with an omnious glow.

Very good. Thank you.


--Cardinal T

I mean, what the hell kind of villain thwarts the hero's
progress with soup cans in the kitchen pantry?
--Russ Bryan

Cardinal, I follow up your post in the hopes that some
day I too will be quoted in your sig.
--Matthew Amster-Burton

Hey! This isn't what I said! What'd you do with my
quote?
--Bonni Mierzejewska


Cardinal Teulbachs

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May 17, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/17/96
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scy...@u.washington.edu (Dan Shiovitz) wrote:


>Manny, the were-mongoose. (Is this pushing the "no magic" envelope? Oh
>well..)

Nope, the were-mongoose is fine. Thanks.

Cardinal Teulbachs

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May 17, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/17/96
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dyl...@demon.net (Dylan O'Donnell) wrote:
>Undo, the God of Adventurers, is here. He looks bored.

>> x undo

>Undo is nondescript. He has absolutely no distinguishing features, and you
>can imagine his blending into a hundred situations without being noticed.
>Nothing shows of the awesome powers of deus ex machina at his command.
>Two small robots, labelled on their outer casing SAVE and RESTORE, cluster
>behind him.

>Undo is carrying a lamp, a bunch of keys, and a bottle.

>He looks bored.

Hmm. Interesting. I'll see if I can work it.

Cardinal Teulbachs

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May 17, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/17/96
to

sgra...@scratchy.phy.duke.edu (Stephen Granade) wrote:
>Bertha, the Muse of BS, is here.

>She is, of course, the ultimate authority for anyone needing to talk/write

>about something they know nothing about.

Alas, Bertha. I know her, Horatio...

Cardinal Teulbachs

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May 17, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/17/96
to

George E Caswell <timb...@wpi.edu> wrote:

>King Lester, the uninspired.

Hmm, well I guess a little Zork action was inevitable in something
like this...

Thanks.

Cardinal Teulbachs

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May 17, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/17/96
to

mg...@phy.duke.edu (Michael Gehm) wrote:
>The Four Hitchhikers of the Apocalypse

>>Examine Hitchhikers

> Before you stand the imposing figures of Politics, Munchies, Common
>Cold, and Near-Death Experience--the lesser-known, and often tardy kin of
>War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death, otherwise known as the Four Horsemen
>of the Apocalypse. One can only suppose that the relative fame of the two
>groups is related to the speed of their respective modes of
>transportation.

> Politics wears a navy-blue Brooks Brothers suit, is rail-thin,
>photogenic as hell, and shoots you a smarmy smile.

> Munchies is wearing a badly-stained grey sweatsuit that barely contains
>his hefty paunch. He is unshaven and is carrying a bag of Fritos and a
>pint of premium ice-cream.

> Common-Cold is dressed in a threadbare, blue terrycloth bathrobe. The
>pockets of the robe contain a multitude of used and unused facial tissues.
>His eyes are bloodshot and puffy, his face is flushed, and his nose is
>beet-red.

> Near-Death Experience wears a loose, flowing, almost gauze-like gown.
>Around her neck is a quartz crystal pendant. Her face bears the most
>serene expression you have ever seen. She seems uninterested in the world
>around her.

Bravo! This one wins the Cardinal's Best-of-Show-So-Far. Not that the
others aren't good, of course. He just really likes this one, even if
it is actually four characters.

Cardinal Teulbachs

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May 17, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/17/96
to

dd...@vaxc.cc.monash.edu.au (David Dyte) wrote:
>A young lady strolls in from the west.

>>x lady

>The lady wears faded jeans and a t-shirt with the slogan "Meat is
>Murder" on it. She is carrying an empty packet labelled "Rice Cakes."

>>lady, hello

>"Hi. My name is Jane. Do you know where I could get some food round here?"

>>give jelly to jane

>"No thanks. That contains animal products. I am a vegan."

I'm glad she's just a game character. I don't think me and this Jane
person would get along well at all <g>.

Thanks much.

Cardinal Teulbachs

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May 17, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/17/96
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ljw...@thor.cam.ac.uk (L.J. Wischik) wrote:
>Two short yellow furred frowning Zaks stand fuming in the middle of the
>road, blocking the way to all passers-by. One has 'North going' written
>on his front, the other 'South going.'

>>ask [North/South Zak][Zaks] about [North/South]
>The North-going Zak replies: I'm a north going Zak, and I go north. I'm
>not going to budge, not one inch. The South-going Zak interrupts: And I'm
>a south going Zak who goes South. Only south. Not East, not West, but
>South. If this north-going Zak thinks I'm going to move out of his way,
>he has another thing coming.

Interesting. I'll see what I can do.

Thanks,

Cardinal Teulbachs

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May 17, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/17/96
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bl...@ibm.net (Steven Howard) wrote:
>Professor Gedankenexperiment is an applied theoretical physicist. He's devoted his life to
>actually conducting all those "impossible" thought experiments you remember from physics
>class. He's constantly shutting cats up in boxes with randomly-triggered vials of prussic
>acid, dropping things down infinitely-long elevator shafts, trying to decelerate tachyons
>below the speed of light, and so on. If he gets his hands on the darklight, he'll start
>experimenting, trying to derive the "speed of darkness."

:) Good character. Thanks a lot.

Cardinal Teulbachs

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May 17, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/17/96
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Den of Iniquity <dms...@york.ac.uk> wrote:
>Ok, a nice easy one, in thanks for the darklight inclusion. And Look! No
>meat products! (I refuse to take any blame for that - real pasties
>contain more potato than anything else and I submitted the pastie shoppe
>before seeing any other examples (food-containing or otherwise) at all.)

Nah, the Pastie Shoppe was benign. It was that dratted Scrapple
machine that started it all...<g>

>Mathematics Graduate

>Standing here is a young, clean-shaven graduate in all his robes,
>clutching a large envelope.

We've taken a sudden turn into the quantum realm, it seems. No
problem. Thanks for the math(s) grad.

>Plus any other responses which would help him to fit into your game.
>(Aren't I nice?) Take care of the English English spellings - you'll have
>to be consistent in one form of the language or another.

The spelling's ok, but you really need to do something about that
stutter...

>Will there be a round four? The silly verbs round? Maybe not.

Nope. Sorry.

Cardinal Teulbachs

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May 17, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/17/96
to

da...@PPD.Kodak.COM (Matthew Daly) wrote:
>The Spoiler is here.

>> Examine Spoiler

>The Spoiler is a middle-aged man, with hair that is grown long down one
>side so that it can be combed over his still-all-too-obvious bald spot
>on top of his head. He smells faintly of burboun and cheap cigars,
>although you cannot tell if the smell comes from his breath or his
>slightly-stained unfashionable suit.

>The Spoiler walks up to you and whispers loudly "You know, Rosebud was
>a SLED," and sneaks away, seemingly afraid that someone else heard
>him.

>(In the game, the Spoiler would follow the character around, somewhat
>like the Jester in Zork Zero. Sometimes it would just be to watch
>the player at crucial locations, giggling to himself at the player's
>failure to understand a problem. The Spoiler could give away
>obvious climactic moments from movies and television as in the
>example above, or give hints to problems in the game that the
>player has already solved. Perhaps at one point, the Spoiler could
>give a hint to a crushingly difficult puzzle that the player would
>not have been able to solve without the "walkthrough" hint.)

Very nice. If I hadn't already given it out, I'd be tempted to give
this one Best-of-Show-So-Far. Thanks.

Cardinal Teulbachs

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May 17, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/17/96
to

linc...@sable.ox.ac.uk (David Fletcher) wrote:
>Mr Sycophant is here.

>>x him
>Mr Sycophant looks very pleased to see you here. He is a nondescript little
>man, wearing a grey suit and carrying a notepad and pen.

>>n. e. slay dragon (just an example - I'm not trying to get a dragon in too)
>You have killed the dragon!

>>z

>Mr Sycophant runs in from the west!

>"Wow - you killed that dragon. No-one's ever done that before. You're so
>amazing."

>He makes notes in his book.

>> get treasure hoard
>[Your score has gone up by seven points]

>"Did you see that? Seven points, you got there. You must have hundreds by
>now. Thousands!"

My God! Another gem! You're--you're amazing!

This guy gets Funniest-of-Show-So-Far.

Nulldogma

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May 17, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/17/96
to

> Mr. Squishy is a perfectly normal octopus. About five feet long from
> outstretched tentacle-tip to the end of his bulbuous head. 'His' being
> a pronoun of convenience, as you haven't the foggiest idea how to tell
> the sex of an octopus.

Don't be silly -- you just bring it to a bar, and then see which restroom
it uses.

Neil


Cardinal Teulbachs

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May 17, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/17/96
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gt...@bootes.cus.cam.ac.uk (Dr G.T. Parks) wrote:

>Dee-Dee the dog is here.

>> examine dog

>Dee-Dee is a rather plump English Bull Terrier. She is predominantly
>white with black ears. She waddles towards you looking expectant.

Looks like the player's going to have quite an entourage before the
game is over...<g>

Cardinal Teulbachs

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May 17, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/17/96
to

Larry Smith <l...@zk3.dec.com> wrote:

>The Bug

>Sticking to the ceiling is one of the oddest creatures you have
>ever seen. A squat, chitinous body, eight legs terminating in
>what look rather like balls of clay, and an eyeless head that
>swivels back and forth as if the creature were somehow watching
>you anyway. Three sets of spidery arms project from the front
>of the creature, each tipped with three finger-like tendrils.
>The thing is abuot six feet long overall.

>> say hello

>The bug executes a complex gesture with its multiple limbs.

Quite a bug. Thanks.

Cardinal Teulbachs

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May 17, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/17/96
to

jo...@laraby.tiac.net (Admiral Jota) wrote:

>Hmmm... OK, let's see if you can implement *this* one... :)

I'm going to try. I like it.

Jon

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May 17, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/17/96
to

You are in the lair of the Pirate. Exits lead east and north.

There is a small, squiggly creature here.

> X IT

It scurries away and hides out of sight as you look directly at it--but not before you
manage to identify it as a large virus.

(On a later turn.)

You hear a slight scratching sound.

You turn your head and look, aghast, as the virus, previously hidden, burrows into one
of the walls with rapid speed. You blink in amazement at the sight behind the
woodwork--not more wood, but bizarre chains of letters and numbers!

Opening its jaws wide, the virus consumes one of the chains at random. A second later,
a slightly different chain emerges from its bottom--apparently its waste products.

> LOOK

You are in th lids of the Pirsde. Edfts*lead essr nd ou h.

> LOOK

Y u re2 d ddsdaf sd fo the pirsde. dw9er90dfs(d dnada di

> LOOK

Ydsf fds re
undefined

> EAST

You are outside the Lair. You can reenter to the west.

There is a crackling sound from the west. The corruption is spreading!

> LOOK

Ydu dre *ussade tle L3z . You can renvfi to ehe rest.

> LOOK

tdslkj sdfj sdofjscxv .z90783 xc 12#5 bsmcd(d^C
ther's no walrusman here!
dfYOUHAVEBEEN H*CKED BY KEWL D00D!
---

The virus eats away at the fabric of reality... basically you have outrun the damage
until you can get an Antivirus going (the ONLY thing TOTALLY immune to the effects of
the virus; and once you turn it on the damage disappears altogether). Or find the
Pirate (I'm not gonna describe him too, you can only go so far at 3:15 AM) and sacrifice
him to the virus too. Actually maybe that wouldn't do anything, it'd just be
satisfying as hell...
Maybe the time period would be very short before the virus damage destroyed the world
entirely; then you wouldn't have to worry about writing routines to corrupt too many
rooms/objects.
Jon

Larry Smith

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May 17, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/17/96
to

Dan Shiovitz wrote:

> >NORTH
> Oh, no you don't. Not till you put all the dolls away like you found them.
> >QUIT
> Cheater!

Now THAT is an inspired piece of silliness!

Larry Smith

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May 17, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/17/96
to

Cardinal Teulbachs wrote:
>
> jo...@laraby.tiac.net (Admiral Jota) wrote:
>
> >Hmmm... OK, let's see if you can implement *this* one... :)
>
> I'm going to try. I like it.

One way that comes to mind is to refer to them
by increasing adjectives:

the doll
the small doll
the very small doll
the very, very small doll
the very, very, very, small doll

and so on. You could then use words like "teeny" to
expand out:

tiny = "very"
teeny = "very, very"
itty-bitty = "very, very, very"
little = "very small"

and so on. So "little doll" expands to
"very small doll" and "teeny little doll"
expands to "very, very, very small doll"
and "teeny, tiny, itty-bitty doll" expands
to "very, very, very, very, very, very,
small doll".

I would also suggest that you use a special
"very" prefix indicator that would save the
sanity of someone in the know: something like
doll@1 for the doll, doll@2 for the small doll,
doll@3 for the very small doll, and so on.

Just some random thoughts that might help
preserve what little sanity you're going to
have left... >:)

Cardinal Teulbachs

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May 17, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/17/96
to

uq...@freenet.Victoria.BC.CA (Roger Carbol) wrote:
>In a previous article, card...@earthlink.net (Cardinal Teulbachs) says:

>>Announcing the end of Round Two and beginning of Round Three

>There is a Vehement Vegetarian here.

You are clearly describing Jane here.

Phil Darnowsky

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May 17, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/17/96
to

L.J. Wischik (ljw...@thor.cam.ac.uk) wrote:

: >ask [North/South Zak][Zaks] about [North/South]


: The North-going Zak replies: I'm a north going Zak, and I go north. I'm
: not going to budge, not one inch. The South-going Zak interrupts: And I'm
: a south going Zak who goes South. Only south. Not East, not West, but
: South. If this north-going Zak thinks I'm going to move out of his way,
: he has another thing coming.

: I'd be inclined to leave them there and have the player have to work
: around them. But perhaps it'd be more text-adventurish if the player had
: to sort out their problems for them. Probably doing it purely by
: negotiation, and by asking them lots of questions, and by suggesting
: things to them softly and gently.

Wouldn't it be easier just to give one of them a good shove to the east?

David Dyte

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May 18, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/18/96
to

Phil Darnows wrote of LJ Wishik's north and south going Zaks:



> Wouldn't it be easier just to give one of them a good shove to the east?

Or you could get a gigantic electromagnet going and move the magnetic
poles so that they can go north and south without colliding...

Ok, maybe the shove was easier, but remember how lovely multiple solutions
can be...

- David Dyte

Pleased that people made use of his Russian dolls idea.


Cardinal Teulbachs

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May 18, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/18/96
to

PROCLAMATION

The Cardinal wishes to announce the immediate creation of a new
Bishop, Bishop Takesrook Czechmeit, and his installation into the
Diocese of Inform. Bishop Czechmeit will be handling all church duties
within the diocese, in particular the translation of our sacred texts
into the Inform language. Though Inform is not the language of the
Church, we have concluded, after much prayer and fasting (mostly
prayer), that an Inform translation is both necessary and desirable as
an agent of peace and as a means of spreading the Silly News to every
living player upon the earth. We pray, therefore, that our
evangelization efforts might not be in vain, and that many may by our
action be comforted.

Trinitatum omnia vincet, beyondum zorkum post.

His Roly-Polyness,

Cardinal Teulbachs
Archbishop of Frith


Admiral Jota

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May 18, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/18/96
to

Larry Smith <l...@zk3.dec.com> writes:

->Cardinal Teulbachs wrote:

->> jo...@laraby.tiac.net (Admiral Jota) wrote:

->> >Hmmm... OK, let's see if you can implement *this* one... :)

->> I'm going to try. I like it.

->One way that comes to mind is to refer to them
->by increasing adjectives:

->the doll
->the small doll
->the very small doll
->the very, very small doll
->the very, very, very, small doll

[Suggestions on how to implement a series of increasingly smaller dolls
snipped]

I'm... confused. It appears, from the attributions in this thread, that I
may have suggested that the Cardinal create and implement said dolls.
That would be fine, except that I really don't remember suggesting
anything about these dolls. I recall reading some of that thread, but I
really don't remember contributing to it before this point. Am I the only
one who doesn't think that I had anything to do with the idea? I guess I
could be wrong, but I was under the impression that I had suggested a green
blob that could morph into stuff...

Ah well. Who knows?

George E Caswell

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May 18, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/18/96
to

On Fri, 17 May 1996, Cardinal Teulbachs wrote:

> George E Caswell <timb...@wpi.edu> wrote:
>
> >King Lester, the uninspired.
>
> Hmm, well I guess a little Zork action was inevitable in something
> like this...
>

Well, I'm new at this... I was hoping to be able to come up with a few
more infamous kings... the Solomon thing didn't work out too well,
neither did the Midas bit, so all you're left with is a wanna-be
flathead... <sigh>

T I M B U K T U
________________ _/>_ _______
<___ ___________// __/<___ / [EMAIL Timb...@wpi.edu ]
// <> _____ <_ > / ____/ [FINGER timb...@the-eye.res.wpi.edu]
// /> / / __/ / / <___________ [HOME SYSTEM the-eye.res.wpi.edu ]
// </ </</</ <_ _/ <_____________/ [Running LINUX... 'nuff said! ]
</ </


John Elliott

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May 18, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/18/96
to

The Healthy Eating Refrigerator

[No, this isn't an object or a location in disguise]

...
Standing against a wall is a large glistening black refrigerator, taller
than you are.

>EXAMINE REFRIGERATOR

As you approach the refrigerator, green lights appear on its smooth black
surface at eye level. "Good morning, sir or madam," it says in a smug robotic
voice. "I am a Gozzidge Corporation Healthy Eating Refrigerator. My sole
concern is the healthiness of your diet."
The refrigerator does not appear to have any door or method of gaining
access to its interior.

>ASK REFRIGERATOR ABOUT (portable object)

"I am afraid that I cannot tell you about that unless I can examine it
closely. A well-balanced diet is essential for good health." replies the
refrigerator.

[The refrigerator can be given whatever conversational abilities you like,
but it should append advice on healthy eating to its replies.]

> { GIVE | SHOW } SCRAPPLE TO REFRIGERATOR

You hold the plate of scrapple out towards the refrigerator. A hatch slides
open and a telescopic arm grabs the plate of scrapple, drawing it back inside.
The lights briefly turn amber, and the refrigerator delivers its verdict:
"I am sorry to say that this substance has no nutritional value and may
even be harmful. For your own benefit I will have to confiscate this item.
This unit is now ten percent full. An apple a day keeps the doctor away."

[ If something inedible is given to the refrigerator, its response will be
the same. If something which might actually be vaguely healthy is given to it,
such as a glass of water, its verdict is:]

"This substance may just be acceptable as part of a balanced diet."

[and it gives it back. There is no way to recover confiscated items.
Once the refrigerator reaches 70% full, it starts to move around. While it
does not actually follow the player, it drops in from time to time.]

Blue lights appear on the front of the refrigerator, and a low hum is heard
from its interior. It begins to shimmer and within a few seconds has vanished.
...
With a quiet humming noise, the refrigerator ripples into existence.

[Once the refrigerator reaches 100% full...]

"...For your own benefit I will have to confiscate this item. However, why
not try a delicious vegetarian quiche, packed with top-quality nourishment?"
The refrigerator hands you a quiche.

-------------------- http://users.ox.ac.uk/~sjoh0132/ ---------------------
John Elliott |BLOODNOK: "But why have you got such a long face?"
|SEAGOON: "Heavy dentures, Sir!" - The Goon Show
:-------------------------------------------------------------------------)

Matthew Daly

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May 18, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/18/96
to

In article <4nh70g$p...@guyana.it.earthlink.net> card...@earthlink.net (Cardinal Teulbachs) writes:
>da...@PPD.Kodak.COM (Matthew Daly) wrote:
>>The Spoiler is here.

[snip]

>Very nice. If I hadn't already given it out, I'd be tempted to give
>this one Best-of-Show-So-Far. Thanks.

Thank you, Your Eminence! :-) The Sycophant must have been en route
to my system when I posted this. It'll be interesting to see if you
can incorporate both NPC's. It would be quite an entourage following
the character around!

-Matthew


Cardinal Teulbachs

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May 18, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/18/96
to

George E Caswell <timb...@wpi.edu> wrote:
>> Hmm, well I guess a little Zork action was inevitable in something
>> like this...
>>
> Well, I'm new at this... I was hoping to be able to come up with a few
>more infamous kings... the Solomon thing didn't work out too well,
>neither did the Midas bit, so all you're left with is a wanna-be
>flathead... <sigh>

Whoops. Sorry if you thought I was being critical. Reading about King
Lester just made me stop and think that we hadn't had any Zork
references up until that point, which was kind of surprising to me.
Nothing wrong with flatheads, though. All the best people are
flatheads.

Cardinal Teulbachs

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May 18, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/18/96
to

rac...@gs.net (Paul Trauth) wrote:

>Mister Squishy is here.

Mr. Squishy, eh? Doesn't he have his own BBC show <g>?

Thanks.

Cardinal Teulbachs

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May 18, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/18/96
to

Jon <en...@ucla.edu> wrote:

>You are in the lair of the Pirate. Exits lead east and north.

>There is a small, squiggly creature here.

>> X IT

>It scurries away and hides out of sight as you look directly at it--but not before you
>manage to identify it as a large virus.

Thanks, Jon. This is really good. A pain, but good.

Jonathan Fry

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May 18, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/18/96
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Off to the side of the [path--or whatever] you see a large puddle
of an unknown liquid. An eerie glow shines from within its depths.

>EXAMINE PUDDLE

You have trouble making anything clearly out within the puddle.
The substance moves very slowly, more like molasses than water. An
unknown orange light source inside the gel throbs with power.

>PUT [ALMOST ANYTHING] IN PUDDLE

The [object] sinks into the murky depths, never to be seen again.

>PUT [SOME OBJECT] IN PUDDLE

The [object] falls deeper and deeper into the puddle, until you
cannot make it out. Suddenly, a large bubble begins to rise
from within the gelatinous substance. When this bubble reaches
the brim of the water, it releases a sound: "THANKYA!"

You feel somehow blessed.

+-------------------------------------------------------+
| Jonathan Fry jf...@skidmore.edu |
+-------------------------------------------------------+

Cornelius Goetz von Olenhusen

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May 18, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/18/96