The IF-Chive (&) Volume 1, Edition 7

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J. D. Berry

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Oct 30, 2001, 4:00:55 PM10/30/01
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##
Pop-Up InterFic

A river meanders between the meadow and forest, creating a border like
a hummingbird's path.

[The author revised this sentence 43 times. In desperation he said finally,
"this sucks, but it's what I'm going with." Many experts feel the
hummingbird line clinched the "best writing" Xyzzy that year.]

The mouth of the cave...

[Cave(n) -- a natural underground chamber or series of chambers open to the
surface.]

A dwarf throws a dagger at you. The dagger whistles by your head and
shatters on the stone behind you.

[The actor who played the dwarf ate only carrots while on the set.]

You're in a maze of twisty passages, all alike.

[Today's IF players don't like mazes.]

> score

[If the scores of all the players who ever played this game were added,
the total would equal the GNP of Australia.]

> d

[Australia is the land down-under. <picture of Australia exaggerated on
world Map>]

> i

[Works of IF sometimes impose inventory limits. That is, a player can
carry only so much stuff. It's a mimesis/annoyance trade-off that is
debated to this day.]

The bear awakens from her sleep, leaps impossibly and mauls your head, all
in one fluid motion. Pure grace to behold... at the cost of your life.

[IF tradition calls for understated, wryly demeaning deaths.]

> undo. drop bag

[85% of IF players "bag" a game before finishing. Including this one.]

[A pretentious encapsulation ends all Pop-Up productions. It likens
the work's efforts to an extended military campaign, its artistry to a
a famous Renaissance painter meeting a currently popular musician. It
assigns an inappropriate historical significance and value to the work.
It pauses pregnantly before closing with an ephemerally enigmatic
question.]

##
Area IF player went to the hints just a little too soon

##
Local reviewer insists 47th-placed game isn't so bad

"I know everyone will probably think this game sucks, but I really kinda
enjoyed it," said one local reviewer with his hands in the air. "[The
game that ended up in 47th place] has a bizarre, dry sense of humor that
some may not get, but once you get past the bad writing and bugs, it
actually has moments of greatness. Dare I say, [the game that ended up
in 47th place], at times, ROCKS!?"

"Yeah, it's not a game I'll probably return to, but [the game that ended
up in 47th place] is like a piece of old Bit o'Honey," explained the
reviewer. It's actually not too bad. I mean, you'd never give it out
on Halloween--the kids would hate you for it-but you'd might if there were
no other candies in the house and the neighborhood diabetic was
trick-or-treating outside your door and needed a sugar fix."

"[The game that ended up in 47th place] used definite articles with the
skill of an Updike. Some of the stream of consciousness, while ARGUABLY
not intended, had an Oates'ian intensity. People here too often
overvalue enjoyment. There's a deeper--that's not quite the word I'm
looking for--experience to be had here."

"Now the 48th-placed game, I'll agree with you on," the reviewer said
trying to preserve some integrity.

##
IF-Comp author listed in critical condition; waiting during evaluation
period killing him

##
Interactive musical a critical failure

Since its upload two weeks ago, "C.A.T.S.", billed as the first
interactive musical, has met with a steady stream of disapproval.
Bits like the following demonstrate why:

"
You say Topologeeka, I say Topologyka
You say hop, kweepa; I say hop, kwypa
Logeeka, logyka
Hop, kweepa; hop, kwypa
Let's call the whole thing off
"

C.A.T.S. has a "singing" mode, designated by a prompt of tied flag notes.
Only one version of one interpreter for one operating system displays
this properly. To anyone else playing the game, this prompt appears
as a female reproductive organ.

Speaking of organs, the "Phantom" opera music playing on the internal
speakers quickly becomes repetitive. Although most agree the "Pippin"
tunes are rather catchy, quality music is few and far between.

The references strewn throughout are extremely obscure. Only a
combination of dedicated IF player, musical fanatic and political
historian will get any of them. If you're not all three, give this one
a pass. If you must play, do so with a program on hand. Be forewarned,
the program is 95% advertisement. Shareware fees come in three "patron"
levels: Gold, Silver and Bronze.

The show closes with "An Ode To Belboz"--a fitting end to a bombastic
evening.

##
East German judge gives comp entry a 2


--
JDB
(This is the last edition in this volume. The Chive may resume after
the traditional post-Comp fury.)

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