I never thought I'd write this letter. Here goes:
This is my final post to USENET forever. This is really it. No more.
Ever. Some ten years ago when I began posting USENET while a student at
Northern Arizona University, I was very new to the internet and,
indeed, the technology itself was relatively new as well. In a country
as great as America, one could hop on a computer in a university
library and post/read messages from across the globe. It was always a
delight to be able to read and respond to postings from people all over
the world. A decade or so ago, USENET was very informative and
interesting. But today, in 2006, the USENET is USE-LESS.
This process started gradually over a short period of time right after
Windows 98 came out. People with WebTV, AOL and Geocities accounts
quickly flooded USENET like so many wayward vampires, chasing after
chickens in the eerie moonlight. Just what became of USENET you ask? A
"de-evolution" event took hold, gnarling and eating away at the very
fabric of whatever mystical loom wove this capitulation of talking
Prozacians into place.
We are no longer an enlightened society, driven down by 99 cent
Thirstbusters and Big Macs galore. We are drowning in our own Prolixin.
Whatever muscles we had left to lift the proverbial shit-faced Furbies
off our heads disappeared when corporate greed and indifference
deep-sixed our collective will. "Usenet is not the internet"? The
USENET is Breidbart Index meets Godwin's Law meets Meow Wars meets
Serdar Argic meets Eternal September. If there's a Glad Bag large
enough to encapsulate the shit USENET promulgates, well, I'm sure
Archimedes Plutonium is presently working on a method to condense it
into Zero Space.
To all the USENET groups I have ever posted to, I say only this:
As I was walking on the beach, I saw the LORD molding a dove from clay.
He sculpted the bird until at last it had wings. Breathing life into
it, he cusped his hands and let it fly to the heavens. And it flew,
high into the air until it disappeared over the vast horizon ahead. The
LORD turned to me and smiled, saying only,"Take flight, my son. For I
am always with you, and you are forever in the shadow of the LORD, Thy
Pendant que je marchais sur la plage, j'ai vu le SEIGNEUR mouler une
colombe d'argile. Il sculpted l'oiseau jusqu'à ce qu'enfin il ait eu
des ailes. La vie de respiration dans lui, il cusped ses mains et les a
laissées voler aux cieux. Et elle a volé, haut dans l'air jusqu'à ce
qu'elle ait disparu au-dessus du vaste horizon en avant. Le SEIGNEUR
tourné à moi et souri, dire seulement, « vol de prise, mon fils.
Pour moi suis toujours avec toi, et vous êtes pour toujours dans
l'ombre du SEIGNEUR, Dieu de Thy. » (Frances)
Während ich auf den Strand ging, sah ich den LORD, eine Taube vom Lehm
zu formen. Er sculpted den Vogel, bis schließlich er Flügel hatte.
Atmenleben in ihn, cusped er seine Hände und ließ sie zu den Himmeln
fliegen. Und sie flog, stark in die Luft, bis sie über dem
beträchtlichen Horizont voran verschwand. Der LORD wendete an mich und
lächelte, sagen nur, ,,Nehmenflug, mein Sohn. Für bin mich immer mit
Ihnen, und Sie sind für immer im Schatten des LORDS, Thy Gott."
Mentre stavo camminando sulla spiaggia, ho visto il SIGNORE modellare
una colomba da argilla. Sculpted l'uccello fino a che infine non avesse
ale. Vita di respirazione in esso, cusped le sue mani e le ha lasciate
volare al cielo. Ed ha volato, su nell'aria fino a che non sparisse
sopra l'orizzonte ampio avanti. Il SIGNORE si è girato verso me ed ha
sorriso, ad esempio soltanto, "volo dell'introito, il mio figlio. Per
sono sempre con voi e siete per sempre nell'ombra del SIGNORE, dio di
Som jag gick på badstranden, sågar jag LORDEN som gjuter en duva
från lera. Han sculpted fågeln, tills äntligen den hade påskyndar.
Andningliv in i den, cusped han his räcker och l5At den flyga till
himmlarna. Och den flög, kicken in i lufta, tills den försvann över
den vast horisonten framåt. LORDEN vände till mig och log, ordstävet
endast, "Takeflighten, min son. För är jag alltid med dig, och du
är för alltid i skuggan av LORDEN, den Thy guden.", (Swede)
May the angels, ghosts and UFOs be with you always. Ayoke, Eyumojock my
friends. Ayoke, Eyumojock.
P.S. Write me sometime, eh? (dun...@yahoo.com)
The Ides of March on the Continent USA
4:09 AM MST
How do you gnarl a fabric? Are looms made of fabric? Dude, you should have
stuck with the chicken simile. All that gnarling and eating would have made
sense, sort of.
> 'Goodbye to USENET'
Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers, And sitting by desolate streams.
from "Ode", Arthur O'Shaughnessy
I don't know you, and never had anything against you, but didn't you
post this same diatribe last year?
And sorry, but I don't believe you. You're probably sincere, but I
don't believe you when you say you're leaving usenet forever. You've
pulled this stunt so often, it would be far easier to believe that this
is your way of celebrating the beginning of spring. You need a break?
You need to get away from usenet? Fine. That I can understand. But you
don't need you make a public bulletin about it. Go. Come back. Or don't
come back. It's your life, but it's not news.
A couple more points: Usenet is just a tool; no one claims it's perfect
or for everyone.
And you're gonna find the same types of people wherever your angels
carry you to, y'know.
-- David Welbourn
He's a troll. He'll be back.
Stuart "Sslaxx" Moore
Perhaps it's like the AI hackers, where they always go out and order "Sweet and Sour
Bitter Melon" on April 1st (which, by the way, I've heard tastes truly awful).
He's just getting a jump on the gun, I suppose.
April 2nd is much sweeter. ;-)
On Tue, 14 Mar 2006 03:13:37 -0800, dunric wrote:
> 'Goodbye to USENET'
> By: Paul Panks (AKA Paul Allen Panks, AKA "Dunric", AKA "PAP", AKA
> I never thought I'd write this letter. Here goes:
> This is my final post to USENET forever.
> To all the USENET groups I have ever posted to, I say only this:
> As I was walking on the beach, I saw the LORD molding a dove from clay. He
> sculpted the bird until at last it had wings. Breathing life into it, he
> cusped his hands and let it fly to the heavens. And it flew, high into the
> air until it disappeared over the vast horizon ahead. The LORD turned to
> me and smiled, saying only,"Take flight, my son. For I am always with you,
> and you are forever in the shadow of the LORD, Thy God." (English)
>This is my final post to USENET forever
I wish that were true.
Sun City, AZ
Now normally I'd rejoice at hearing this, but as you posted pretty much
the same thing last year, and then went on posting after it, I'll hold
off my rejoicing for a while.
Please remember to take your Prozac. You are not well.
Us wayward vampires are busy chasing TADS3 and awaiting the chicken we
call Inform7. The XYZZY awards were handed out a few nights ago in
grand ceremonial fashion. So this little corner of USENET is doing
quite well, thank you for asking and for your words of eternal
Since I am not one of the enlightened, please pardon me while I take a
bite of my Big Mac and ponder your incomprehensible references. If you
want to leave, then please leave. You don't have to insult us. And
wherever your angels and UFO's take you, chances are, there will be a
nice big glad bag of shit there too. Sometimes one has to sit back and
look in the mirror and ask why does every place I travel, start to
So until the season changes and you once again troll back to us with
convenient amensia of all previous rantings - thanks for giving us the
The September That Never Ended was in 1993, and WebTV came out in
1996, but things didn't start going to hell until after Win98 came
:) ? Did he? I never saw it. However, I can sometimes agree a little with
him, even if, I am able to find many fun and interessting things on
He may just experience a passing moment of info-over-flood. or a small
depression. It will pass.
Take care dunric! :) I dont share you values, espsially consering HLA and
etc. but a man able to be depressed cannot be all bad. It takes some
intelligence to be depressed you know, and it teaches a man about depths.
Yep. Thats true. I play online? It may be because of the limtations of
chat, but it seem like the SAME fucking moron is logged on to all the
servers, doing the same part in every conversation at all of them. What
you see is, at the beginning theres no Trolls, but then they get bored,
and they start to use their imagination. Then they attack their teammates.
Some day it irritated me a lot, in battlefield2 that some moron was
walking in front of my plane so that I got a teamkill each time I drove
over him. In a sudden clipse of recall, it hit me that I had invented this
shitty tactic, a few weeks earlier, because I then was feed up with not
reaching the plane at time.......
Aocha! But I found that I be fully able to be equally rightously irritated
at both occations :))
> -- David Welbourn
| Charles and Francis Richmond richmond at plano dot net |
Nope. YOu guys were bitching before that.
> Paul Ding <lanc...@paulding.net> wrote:
>>The September That Never Ended was in 1993, and WebTV came out in
>>1996, but things didn't start going to hell until after Win98 came
>Nope. YOu guys were bitching before that.
Actually, it's been downhill for the internet ever since they stopped
calling it the "ARPANET".
No, the rot set in once these new-fangled computers started replacing
the old Morse telegraph system.
___ _ ___ _
/ __| ___ | | __ _ _ _ | _ \ ___ _ _ __ _ _ _ (_) _ _
\__ \/ _ \| |/ _` || '_| | _// -_)| ' \ / _` || || || || ' \
|___/\___/|_|\__,_||_| |_| \___||_||_|\__, | \_,_||_||_||_|
** Yes, it was a newbie... You are my feelings... I feel for no logical
** Sure. He had to take advantage of Clemens.
Yeah, I remember sending smoke signals one day, long ago, and these
young morse code punks came up the hills do their "beep, beep, beep"
crap. Very annoying. So, we chase 'em down the hills, throwing rocks
at them. They kept going "di-di-di-dah-dah-dah-di-di-dit" all the way
down! Damn, youngins!
So it was *you* sending those smoke signals. I remember seeing the
wretched things one day, and thinking "what's the world coming to
when folks can't just get off their backsides, walk a couple of
miles, and say what they want to say face to face." You probably
remember that when you came back from throwing rocks at those Morse
guys, we'd doused all your fires -- all that smoke, polluting the
air, and so unsightly! Anyway, it was obvious the world would go to
hell if people started relying on SmokeNet -- yet more Vapourware!
WE had to beat on a hollow log with a stick.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we've also heard the one about copper being so expensive, there was only one
wire for the telegraph, so people had to go up on hills and fly kites to attract lightening bolts
and you could only send a telegram when there was a thunderstorm.
Next you'll be telling us they had no "ones" and you had to use all zeros. You had to walk to
school through the snow, UPHILL BOTH WAYS.
And when you got appendicitis, the ER team was too busy and handed you a straight razor, a mirror
and a bottle of whiskey, and told you to handle it yourself.
That your mother was stuck in labor for 30 days and 30 nights and finally you had to coach her through
the birth from inside the womb. (And when the doctor tried to slap your fanny you sucker punched him.)
Workin' good, too! :)
:)))))))))) Yes. Sorry for crosssposting!
>Daryl McCullough <stevend...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>> jmfb...@aol.com says...
>>> Paul Ding <lanc...@paulding.net> wrote:
>>>> The September That Never Ended was in 1993, and WebTV came out in
>>>> 1996, but things didn't start going to hell until after Win98 came
>>> Nope. YOu guys were bitching before that.
>> Actually, it's been downhill for the internet ever since they stopped
>> calling it the "ARPANET".
>No, the rot set in once these new-fangled computers started replacing
>the old Morse telegraph system.
The first dozen rots were terrible, ohg V xvaqn yvxrq gur bar nsgre
> >WE had to beat on a hollow log with a stick.
> Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we've also heard the one about copper being so expensive, there was only one
> wire for the telegraph, so people had to go up on hills and fly kites to attract lightening bolts
> and you could only send a telegram when there was a thunderstorm.
> Next you'll be telling us they had no "ones" and you had to use all zeros. You had to walk to
> school through the snow, UPHILL BOTH WAYS.
Under the blazing hot sun, too.
> And when you got appendicitis, the ER team was too busy and handed you a straight razor, a mirror
> and a bottle of whiskey, and told you to handle it yourself.
They were also out of whiskey.
> That your mother was stuck in labor for 30 days and 30 nights and finally you had to coach her through
> the birth from inside the womb. (And when the doctor tried to slap your fanny you sucker punched him.)
Nope -- my mom was in labor with me for so long my little brother wound up
coaching her through it.
Joseph J. Pfeiffer, Jr., Ph.D. Phone -- (505) 646-1605
Department of Computer Science FAX -- (505) 646-1002
New Mexico State University http://www.cs.nmsu.edu/~pfeiffer
And the Rhoads goes on forever.
and the party never ends...sigh. :)
I disagree. I have had encounters with people who have taught
me a lot more than I would have ever learned if I hadn't gone
online. I have met many people I would have not known existed
if I hadn't gone online. It was these people who got me
interested in learning again. If it weren't for them, I'd
have given up 10 years ago.
In addition, old knowledge is getting taught to the kids
because the bandwidth is not person-person in this medium.
It is person-wholefuckingworld.
Now, it does have its drawbacks especially for those who
forget that newsgroups is a stop at the coffee pot type