The IF Chive

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J.D. Berry

Aug 15, 2001, 2:31:45 PM8/15/01
The IF Chive -- Volume 1, Edition 1.

Local teen to write "cavern" game.

After doodling some sketches of caverns in Chemistry class, Lonny Harrison
the makings of the next great adventure game. "These won't be your ordinary
caverns," states Harrison, 15. "For starters, what caverns do you know that
are inhabited with monsters? And I got this cool idea from staring at the
periodic chart every day--each section of the cavern will consist of a
different element! I'm even going to add some humor. On the fourth level,
plan to have an ATM that talks! And, boy, will it have an attitude!!"

Asked when his work would be completed, Harrison paused. "Well, I gotta
up a parser, I suppose. That'll take a few days, at least. The real pain
will be the 200 'rooms' (adventure-speak). I mean, that's a line or two of
description for each. Even with some cutting and pasting --after all, most
these caves look alike, and players won't know I 'cheated'-we're talking
WEEKS. I read somewhere that battery-powered lamps can be tricky to code.
I'll test as I go. We're probably talking next month."

A transcript from "Photopia" played by a complete idiot

"Will you read me a story?"
"Read you a story? What fun would that be? I've got a better idea: let's
tell a story together."






<power button pressed in frustration, just before the return key would have
advanced the story>

Wife wonders why husband plays those games all the time

IF Study links the consulting of walkthroughs to not being able to solve

A two billion-dollar research program has concluded that, generally, when
players consult a walkthrough, they have no clue as to how to proceed in a
game. Less likely, but also possible, are situations where the player
have solved the puzzle in due time, but for various reasons needed to
the story more quickly.

London vicar finishes L.U.D.I.T.E. in one move

NASDAQ delists Infocom

Despite such hits as Trinity and Hollywood Hijinx, Infocom (NASDAQ: GRUE)
could not maintain NASDAQ's required minimum stock price and has been
subsequently dropped from their list. Such delistings normally take several
months, but Infocom was quite the exception to this norm, taking years.

Bob Hatchel, senior analyst at Rock Trust and former commodities broker,
explains how a company that folded in the late '80s is just now being
delisted. "I went through the records, and apparently a concealed attribute
was attached to the issue. Plus, with over 4,000 securities listed in the
description, it's difficult to examine them all. When an agent finally did,
he needed to obtain an SEC notice of disclosure, but he couldn't get past
guard. Why a guard would be needed for a standard form could be chalked up
'one of those things that happens in a bureaucracy.'" Hatchel tried to
suppress a smile at his knowing reference to an Infocom title.

"There are some clues that Infocom was purchased by another game company,
we're still looking into that," says Hatchel. "Unfortunately, there are no
walkthroughs in real life."

Jackson to coach Plotkin, Cadre

Zen master and basketball coach Phil Jackson will take his talents to
arena this fall when he signs on with interactive fiction legends Andrew
Plotkin and Adam Cadre. According to Jackson, "with superstars, it's not a
question of the x's and o's or the 1's and 0's, it's a question of focus.
I'll provide that focus by getting Z and A NOT to focus. Winning is all a
question of maintaining the essences, establishing the right frame of mind,
practicing breathing exercises, and, to a small degree, having the best
players in the league."

The coach said later that he is not ruling out obtaining the rights to
free-agents Short and Finley.

Jackson's future coaching plans include the '27 Yankees, directors Hitchcock
and Kubrick, and chefs Emeril and Beard.

Swearword used twice in same IF work. Once effectively, once borderline

IFComp '69 remembered

A rainy weekend in a rural town in upstate New York. Hippies sitting around
getting stoned, making love, and listening to the authorial greats pitching
story ideas for when computers could handle interactive fiction. The
was the prompt, parser and hint menu. Cast off those inventory management
establishment yokes of oppression. Dream the verb. Peace.


In-joke of the weekend, "***you have simulated dying***"
Ravi Shankar failing to include synonyms for his sitar. "That weird guitar
thing" resulted in "not seeing that here."
Santana trying an experimental work titled "Smooth". Fans feel it's missing
Grateful Dead trying to score points with organizer Little Stevie Granade by
singing "Saint Stephen".
Jimi Hendrix air-writing star-spangled banner lines ********* to close out

Sure, there would be revivals of this historic Comp starting in '95, but
could never be the same.

Robb Sherwin

Aug 15, 2001, 10:22:10 PM8/15/01
On Wed, 15 Aug 2001 14:31:45 -0400, "J.D. Berry"
<> wrote:
>The IF Chive -- Volume 1, Edition 1.

<snip: the funny>

8 hours without a "Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!"??!

No longer:


Robb Sherwin, Fort Collins CO
Reviews From Trotting Krips:
Knight Orc Home Page:

Michael Kinyon

Aug 16, 2001, 9:09:01 AM8/16/01
J.D. Berry <> wrote:

> The IF Chive -- Volume 1, Edition 1.

Bravo! Very well done indeed.

My personal favorite is this one:

> IF Study links the consulting of walkthroughs
> to not being able to solve puzzles

This belongs in someone's .sig.

Michael K. Kinyon | email:
Department of Mathematics |
Western Michigan University | phone: (616) 387-1417
Kalamazoo, MI 49008-5248 USA | fax: (616) 387-4530

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