Yonder Wacky December Survey!
Dr. Evil
permission of absolutely nobody, I would like to present:
Oh Cripes! It's Dr. Evil's Wacky December Survey (Bwah-hah-hah-hah!)
Marks will be awarded for style, substance, silliness, swearing, stains
and stupid alliterations.
(Reading through all this, I must apologise for some of the troll-like
nature of some of the questions. Don't answer anything you're not
comfortable with, although naturally you'll be losing points and kudos)
1. Just 'Cos I'm Interested Dept.
Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
just made up?
Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
with any kind of respect?
Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
good. Name them.
If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
3. Creative dept.
In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
what the content. What do you write about?
Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
What would be the best way to improve radw?
Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
5. Extra bonus question dept.
Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
--
"Put him in the cur-ry!"
Paul 'Ozymandias' Harman
Dr. Evil <dr-...@belisarius.freeserve.co.uk> wrote in message
news:366BF12E...@belisarius.freeserve.co.uk...
>1. Just 'Cos I'm Interested Dept.
>
>Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
>Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
>just made up?
I'd love Jeff Wayne to do a version.
>Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
>with any kind of respect?
No.
>Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
<insert name of cold calculating female actress here>
>Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
You never complained before.
>2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
>
>What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
Vworp. I can't stand that word.
>Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
Pamela Anderson.
>Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
>good. Name them.
The people, or the novels?
>If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
I need context.
>3. Creative dept.
>
>In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
>fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
The Master regenerates himself into one of the past forms of the Doctor and
turns the Doctor's own companions against him.
>Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
The Death of Death.
>Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
>jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
>what the content. What do you write about?
<snip synopses of rejected novels>
If I'm allowed to write anything, it would undoubtedly be something fanwanky
about the current incarnation of the Doctor findng out some terrible secret
from his own past, which he has to correct without his cotemporal 'past'
selves realising.
>Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
Some pseudo-religious waffle, no doubt.
>4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
>
>What would be the best way to improve radw?
Stop the 3rd-7th Doctor flamewars.
>Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
No-one.
>Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
rec.arts.drwho.virgin-books
rec.arts.drwho.bbc-books
rec.arts.drwho.pertwee.die.die.die
rec.arts.drwho.mcoy.die.die.die
rec.arts.drwho.peri.norgs
...thus leaving this group free for the rest of us to have mature
discussions!
>How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
>first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
Very happy - but I'm only in there as the but of jokes, unfortunately.
>5. Extra bonus question dept.
>
>Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
See answers 1-4.
Ozzy
Melmoth
> Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
> Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
> just made up?
Kiss.
> Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
> with any kind of respect?
Yes, the news reports that the BBC did on the replacement of Tom Baker
with Peter Davison and Peter Davison with Colin Baker.
Some time ago, tho'
> Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
Bette Midler.
> Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
My girlfriend likes it :-)
>
> 2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
>
> What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
Hmmm, toughy.
I would have to say...
...Andrew Beech.
NO, JOKING, I WAS JOKING!!!!
Seriously, hard to say.
> Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
Kate Mulgrew.
> Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
> good. Name them.
The Pit, obviously.
Dreamstone Moon.
Conundrum (tho I think I'm the only one who loathed it)
Eternity Weeps, which I HATED!
> If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
Probably.
> 3. Creative dept.
>
> In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
> fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
I have *many*, one of which will wend it's way to the BBC next week.
But how about...
an alien race whose planet in another universe is being consumed by entropy
drained into their universe through a CVE. To sustain themselves against
what
they see as an attack they send robot servants into our universe who drain
the
life energy from planets by mining ley lines, and infusing it into their own
entropy-ravaged world through a reverse engineered CVE.
And now they are mining Earth, slowly sucking it dry.
And does the Dr have the right to condemn their world to death when after
all
they are only retaliating against an unseen attack, an attack he is partly
responsible for?
(Please don't use it, I may one day if my next proposal makes the grade...)
> Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
The Death of Teatime
> Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
> jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
> what the content. What do you write about?
My struggle to come to terms with being gay.
Hmmm, maybe not ;-)
Jeez, I was joking, already.
Seriously, tho', my new proposal is about art and the creative process
being perverted for dark purposes. I love the idea of examining
the very process of inspiration and creativity in a Sci-Fi novel.
> Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
A string of randomly selected unconnected words placed in various fonts
without punctuation or formatting of any kind.
Or narrative.
Or character.
> 4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
>
> What would be the best way to improve radw?
Having us removed from Replay's list.
> Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
I did killfile Azzy and Anonymous, but I relented recently.
> Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
rec.arts.drwho.peaceandlove
> How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
> first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
Am I in it yet?
I must admit I'd get a thrill if I were.
Where is it these days?
> 5. Extra bonus question dept.
>
> Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
I already told you that one :-)
Scott Andrews
Peace, Love and please commission me, please, will write for food
Si Jerram
> I can't remember seeing one of these for this month so obtaining the
> permission of absolutely nobody, I would like to present:
> Oh Cripes! It's Dr. Evil's Wacky December Survey (Bwah-hah-hah-hah!)
> Marks will be awarded for style, substance, silliness, swearing, stains
> and stupid alliterations.
>
> (Reading through all this, I must apologise for some of the troll-like
> nature of some of the questions. Don't answer anything you're not
> comfortable with, although naturally you'll be losing points and kudos)
>
>
> Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
> just made up?
> Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
> with any kind of respect?
> Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
My Sister.
> Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
Actually I don't know I've done it until the morning.
> 2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
> What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
That after so many years, they don't know the difference between
the character of the Doctor and the programme Doctor Who...
> Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
I like my arm more than I like DW.
> Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
> good. Name them.
The novels that aren't very good, or the people going on about it?
> If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
False Logic.
> 3. Creative dept.
> In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
> fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
Yes.
> Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
Benevolance of the Daleks
> Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
> jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
> what the content. What do you write about?
The Doctor trying to overcome an alien threat.
> Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
Pieces of paper with black ink on them forming about 80,000 words.
> 4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
> What would be the best way to improve radw?
For something INTERESTING to happen.
> Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
I can't kill-file people.
> Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
alt.fan.bernice-summerfield
> How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
> first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
I try so hard but have only been in there as a straight-man to other
people.
> 5. Extra bonus question dept.
> Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
It's about when I meet a novel that's more attrctive than my beloved,
(or
indeed if my beloved chucks me and I meet an attractive novel) and ask
it to marry me.
--
Simon Jerram
Chris Schumacher
<dr-...@belisarius.freeserve.co.uk> wrote:
>1. Just 'Cos I'm Interested Dept.
>Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
>Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
>just made up?
Method of Destruction or Screwdriver. (Hey, we need equal time. I've heard
enough about the blasted Beatles)
>Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
>with any kind of respect?
I've never seen a news report on DW period.
>Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
Kate Winslet.
>Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
Because I can't get to sleep knowing that "The Infinity Doctors" is still
completely unread.
>2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
>What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
Socialism.
>Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
Um...well....YOU, actually.
>Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
>good. Name them.
The vast majority of the Eighth Doctor novels...
>If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
Uh...okay.
>3. Creative dept.
>In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
>fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
Perhaps turning corn into beans?
>Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
The Chimes Of Fitzroy
>Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
>jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
>what the content. What do you write about?
Oh, about 30,000 words.
>Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
It will be well thought out, well written, deep and philosophical. Because of
this pretty much everyone will rip the hell of it, and Jim will wonder why he
even bothers.
>4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
>What would be the best way to improve radw?
Add a water cooler?
>Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
Don't have one. This program doesn't come equipped with one.
>Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
rec.arts.drwho.pictures.erotica.nyssa
rec.arts.drwho.mortimore.bashing
rec.arts.drwho.socialism
rec.arts.drwho.cornell.bashing
rec.arts.drwho.pertwee.misfits
>How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
>first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
I was rather stunned. My main reaction was "How the hell did THAT get in there,
when this and this and this didn't?"
>5. Extra bonus question dept.
>
>Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
Oh, piss off. Like I'd tell you.
-==Kensu==-
Ben Woodhams
>
> 1. Just 'Cos I'm Interested Dept.
>
> Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
> Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
> just made up?
The Cure for the opening credits, William Orbit for the incidental music
and closing theme. Cue CD single release with about 7 remixes, including
Dr. Maracca's Funky Flamenco Mix.
> Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
> with any kind of respect?
No. They all seem to make reference to 'shaky walls' or some such
bollocks. At the end of the item, one newscaster always seems to smile
dispairingly to the other, as if to say "Doctor Who, eh? What a load of
old shite. To think we've spent years struggling through dodgy media
courses at Uni, and then licking our bosses' arses eight hours a day for
five years to get to this position; and now, rather than covering
important, groundbreaking, lifechanging news, we're covering
Doctor-Fucking-Who. You coming to the pub after?"
> Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
Lily Savage.
> Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
'Cos it makes me come over all warm and cuddly. Mmmmmm.
> 2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
>
> What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
Polyp & Jane Baker.
OR....and this might be a little unfair, but I include it 'cos it's such
a *disappointment* rather than actually *terrible* per se, but the
ongoing DWM strip saga. The one-off strips, such as the recent 'Happy
Deathday', have really shown it up for the load of turgid old nonsense
it is. Of *course* that's IMO! Who else's would it be?
> Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
Justin Webb, formerly of BBC Breakfast News. Michael Howard. Either of
the Chuckle Brothers.
> Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
> good. Name them.
What, the novels or the people who slag them off?
The Novels: The Pit, any original novel by John Peel (although I enjoyed
his novelisations).
The People: Azaxyr, anyone who has any form of communication with
Becker.
> If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
If I have anything to say about it, yeah.
> 3. Creative dept.
>
> In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
> fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
Depends. What's in it for me? As I'm sure you know, coming up with
devillishly fiendish plots (hereafter known as DFPs) is not exactly a
piece of piss. Asking questions like this in a public forum is
tantamount to asking us to hand over the intellectual property rights to
our DFPs to you. I'll take 20% of any loot/money/political power/alien
artefacts you obtain as a result of my DFPs; although a small island in
the Caribbean would suffice as an alternative source of payment. Contact
me for further details.
> Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
'Escape to Danger.'
'Renumeration of the Daleks.'
'Recrimination of the Daleks'
'Rehash of the Daleks'
'Reindeer of the Daleks'
'War of the..' oh, hold on....
'Nightmare on Ramsey Street'
> Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
> jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
> what the content. What do you write about?
The Doctor arrives at a base under siege on a newly terraformed planet.
He's immediately thrown into a cell, where he spends the rest of the
book scribbling on the wall on account of his being so bored, and
listening to the screams coming from outside as stragely grating voices
glide up and down the corridor outside. Eventually, he tries the door
and it turns out to have been unlocked all the time. Everyone's been
killed, and the Doctor missed it all. He pops a jelly baby in his gob,
sighs, shrugs, and departs.
> Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
PDA: The Brigidier, on a mission in the jungle, get a snakebite on his
penis. The UNIT team draw lots to see who has to suck out the poison.
The Doctor loses.
Er, I've never read a Jim Mortimore novel. Can you tell?
> 4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
>
> What would be the best way to improve radw?
I am recent convert to moderation...
> Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
Becker would be if I had one.
> Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
rec.arts.drwho.becker.die.die.die
rec.arts.drwho.ego
rec.arts.drwho.that.bit.when.padbury.shoves.her.arse.into.the.camera
rec.arts.drwho.intellectual.kamikaze (although this might suffer alot of
crossposting with radwbddd, above)
rec.arts.drwho.bloody.unit.dating
rec.arts.drwho.fs.items.for.sale.please.mail.me.for.list.
rec.arts.drwho.dangermouse.rules
rec.arts.drwho.dangermouse.sucks
rec.arts.drwho.dangermouse.plug.plug.plug
rec.arts.drwho.who.the.hell.is.dangermouse
> How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
> first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
Overjoyed. I phoned my girlfriend to break the news, and she was
disappointingly underwhelmed. Where's the Quotefile gone, anyway,
Smith??
I am a shamless whore to the quotefile. Whip me! Harder!!
> 5. Extra bonus question dept.
>
> Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
I must be about the only person here who *doesn't* have a Who proposal
on the go. I *am* working on a couple of novels, but neither of them
have any Who content. One day, perhaps. But not today.
ben w.
--
"I know only that I exist - everything else is just my opinion."
Michael S. Tumilty
Dr. Evil wrote in message <366BF12E...@belisarius.freeserve.co.uk>...
>
>1. Just 'Cos I'm Interested Dept.
>
>Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
>Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
>just made up?
Radiohead
>Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
>with any kind of respect?
I've never seen a mainstream news report on DW period.
>Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
Kathie Lee Gifford
>Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
Well, because the cardboard Rimmer stand up is right
there...
>
>2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
>
>What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
The lack of attention it gets.
>Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
David Hasselhoff
>Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
>good. Name them.
Sorry, as Keeper of the Sanctuary of Disliked Who I have
to do my best to not slag anything off, even indirectly.
So, I plead the fifth <g>
>If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
Children? Hey, I'm not that kind of saint...
>
>3. Creative dept.
>
>In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
>fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
I'm not at liberty to reveal anything definite, but I
can say it involves the Master, a galactic satellite
communications link-up system, and the only blow-up
Penfold doll in exsistence.
>Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
The Long, Dark Teatime of the Daleks
>Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
>jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
>what the content. What do you write about?
A DW regency romance with the season 20 crowd
>Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
A DW regency romance with the season 20 crowd as directed
by Paul Verhoeven
>
>4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
>
>What would be the best way to improve radw?
Have it turn out that Doctor Who is actually real. THAT
would shut us up.
>Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
Anyone whose posts start with '$$$' or 'XXX'
>Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
alt.drwho.creative.flonk.flonk.flonk
rec.arts.drwho.bbc-novels
rec.arts.drwho.virgin-novels
rec.arts.drwho.virgin-novels.soiled
rec.arts.puppetwho
alt.fan.clavicle
alt.drwho.surveys.wacky
>How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
>first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
Very happy indeed, and not too hard.
>
>5. Extra bonus question dept.
>
>Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
_Tegan pointed at the words appearing on the page. "But
we haven't done any of this yet." "But we will," said
Nyssa,"How can we not..."_
The fifth Doctor has stumbled across the only actual
library/hotel in the galaxy, and (much to the
consternation of Tegan and Turlough) has decided
to take a bit of a holiday. Nyssa is rather pleased
for a reason I haven't decided on yet, but will
probably involve a book written by her father. In
the course of their explorations, they start to find
books that just shouldn't exist.
Who is the Hotel Manager, and why hasn't the Doctor
returned from tea with him yet? Why won't Nyssa tell
anyone about the contents of the Traken Memorial Reading
Room? Why does the library contain biographies of the
entire TARDIS crew, and why does the Doctor's only go
up to page 109?
And why is there a copy of The Pseudo on every room?
************THE PSEUDO, by Erin Tumilty**************
Never coming to a bookstore near you.
-Erin (St.) ~Right Honourable RADW Babe of the Year~
President of Save Our Doctor: Television's Hero In Space
Proudly telling the Beeb to SOD THIS since 1997
"I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'm
going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn't any
Narnia." Puddleglum, _The Silver Chair_
Glen Williams
>
> I can't remember seeing one of these for this month so obtaining the
> permission of absolutely nobody, I would like to present:
>
> Oh Cripes! It's Dr. Evil's Wacky December Survey (Bwah-hah-hah-hah!)
Crumbs!
> Marks will be awarded for style, substance, silliness, swearing, stains
> and stupid alliterations.
Really? Right! Rack 'em up, Riley, this Rucker's* goin' down Royally!
(*Convenient alliterative typo)
> (Reading through all this, I must apologise for some of the troll-like
> nature of some of the questions. Don't answer anything you're not
> comfortable with, although naturally you'll be losing points and kudos)
>
> 1. Just 'Cos I'm Interested Dept.
>
> Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
> Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
> just made up?
Morphine. Or Rabbit in the Moon.
> Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
> with any kind of respect?
"So, Mr. Pertwee... May I call you Jon? How does it feel to have played
the lead in such a venerable staple series of the BBC as Dr. Who?"
-Local PBS Channel 2 guy, circa 1985
> Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
Sigourney Weaver ('Take your hands off her, you Gallifreyan BITCH!')
> Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
Because my human metabolism requires some amount of downtime in order to
maintain its regular functional nature. Failure to permit this downtime
results in oxygen deprivation, sore muscles, partial blindness, loss of
all physical sensation, and extreme silliness.
> 2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
>
> What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
Umm, cheesy spin-off movies featuring venerable British actors who
should have known better, campy movie background not an excuse?
> Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
Oooo. That would have to be either Arnold Schwarzenegger ('Kvick!
Revuss de polahrity of Nootron floe o we'll all be blone to bits!') or
Jim Carrey (The horror, the horror)
> Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
> good. Name them.
Lou
Jamie
Mary
Patty
Flip
Clark
Henry
Sissy
Annie
Bob <-- Just because there has to be at least one Bob in every list.
> If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
God, I hope so.
> 3. Creative dept.
>
> In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
> fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
That depends. How much cash can you deliver to me in small, unmarked
bills?
> Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
My Mother the Dalek
> Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
> jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
> what the content. What do you write about?
Hmm, let's assume that I knew I was never going to be published in the
series ever again....
The sixth doctor, in an attempt to be more of a "people person," brings
a Dalek on board the TARDIS and begins to educate it to be a faithful
sidekick. The Dalek resists at first, but finally grows to love the
Doctor and his companions. Alas, it is not meant to be. On the next
planet, the TARDIS is attacked by viciously cute Smurfs. In an attempt
to save the lives of his newfound friends, the Dalek (nicknamed "Spot")
opens the door and runs out of the TARDIS, drawing the Smurfs after it.
He allows himself to be engulfed by the Smurf population, then detonates
his self-destruct mechanism.
And I never hear the end of it from RADW posters.
Dialogue Disasters:
PERI (hitting Spot with rolled up newspaper): Bad dalek! Bad dalek!
Not on the rug!
DALEK: REGRET - INSUFFICIENT - DATA - MASTER.
DOCTOR: Right. Now say it again, and this time extend your claw arm
and wave it a little bit.
Dialogue Triumphs:
DOCTOR: Peri, I'd like you to meet our new companion.
DALEK: LOVE - MEEEEEE! PET - MEEEEEEEEEEE!
DALEK: AGH - A - SMURF! KILL - IT - KILL -IT!
PAPA SMURF: Onward, my little smurflings! Let's show this
mothersmurfer what we're smurfing made of!
> Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
Words. Presumably.
> 4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
>
> What would be the best way to improve radw?
Take the spoons and needles away from various posters?
> Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
That would be nobody.
> Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
rec.arts.drwho.whine-whine-whine
rec.arts.drwho.kill-adric-again
rec.arts.drwho.binaries.naked-companions
rec.arts.drwho.binaries.naked-companions.happy-daleks
rec.arts.drwho.canonwars
> How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
> first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
You mean I'm in the quotefile?
COOL!
Everybody, party at my place! Bring your own glass, coat, room,
companions, music, food, daleks....
> 5. Extra bonus question dept.
>
> Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
Ah. Well, that's my little secret, isn't it? If you really want to
find out, tell the Beeb to accept it.
> --
> "Put him in the cur-ry!"
Right-o, Brigadier. Five rounds rapid and all that.
-Glen "What do you mean that last question was serious?" Williams
bi...@vt.edu
http://www.slac.com/kallisti/
Paul 'Ozymandias' Harman
Michael S. Tumilty <Tum...@email.msn.com> wrote in message
news:74h3gt$l...@bgtnsc02.worldnet.att.net...
>_Tegan pointed at the words appearing on the page. "But
>we haven't done any of this yet." "But we will," said
>Nyssa,"How can we not..."_
You rotter. I now have to go through the rest of my Who life knowing that
I'll never read this brilliant novel.
Ozzy
Mariane Desautels
Bah. Just visit Lucien's Library the next time you're in the Dreaming.
Mariane
jon_d...@my-dejanews.com
"Dr. Evil" <dr-...@belisarius.freeserve.co.uk> wrote:
> I can't remember seeing one of these for this month so obtaining the
> permission of absolutely nobody, I would like to present:
>
> Oh Cripes! It's Dr. Evil's Wacky December Survey (Bwah-hah-hah-hah!)
>
> and stupid alliterations.
>
> nature of some of the questions. Don't answer anything you're not
> comfortable with, although naturally you'll be losing points and kudos)
>
> 1. Just 'Cos I'm Interested Dept.
>
> Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
> Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
> just made up?
Prodigy. Simply because it would piss a ton of people off.
>
> Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
> with any kind of respect?
Not on this planet.
>
> Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
Eric Idle/David Hasselhoff/Simon Callow/Eddie Izzard/etc. would all take turns
as different incarnations.
>
> Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
It was cold.
>
> 2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
>
> What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
Aforementioned mainstream news coverage.
>
> Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
Keanu Reeves
>
> Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
> good. Name them.
The Eight Doctors is the only one I almost didn't finish.
>
> If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
Take the children. We'll make more.
>
> 3. Creative dept.
>
> In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
> fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
A plan to travel through time and space to give _every_ companion a venereal
disease.
>
> Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
Leviticus of the Daleks
>
> Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
> jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
> what the content. What do you write about?
_DeSade's Companion Sex/Death Orgy_
>
> Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
Lots of people die.
>
> 4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
>
> What would be the best way to improve radw?
I like it the way it is.
>
> Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
Don't have one. I just skip the names I recognize as having nothing worth
saying **cough** Azaxyr **cough*
>
> Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
rec.arts.drwho.dodo-sex-life
rec.arts.drwho.gay
realisticly speaking, it's coming down to
rec.arts.drwho.was
rec.arts.drwho.is
>
> How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
> first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
Pretty happy. Wasn't trying at all.
>
> 5. Extra bonus question dept.
>
> Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
Like I'm telling you. One's called _The Big Time_, the other's called _Family
Values_. I'm sure SV7 will love them.
--
Jonathan Dennis
'We had a problem with vandals.'
'I see,' said the Doctor. 'So did the Romans.'
-----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==----------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Discuss, or Start Your Own
Dangermouse
Dr. Evil <dr-...@belisarius.freeserve.co.uk> wrote
> (Reading through all this, I must apologise for some of the troll-like
> nature of some of the questions. Don't answer anything you're not
> comfortable with, although naturally you'll be losing points and kudos)
>
>
> 1. Just 'Cos I'm Interested Dept.
>
> Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
> Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
> just made up?
Nick Cave
> Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
> with any kind of respect?
None whatsoever
> Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
Jeri Taylor
> Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
Depends who's in it.
> 2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
>
> What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
It's absence
> Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
Hugh Grant
> Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
> good. Name them.
RJ Smith, Henry Potts, SV7... even I've said that some of them aren't very
good.
> If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
If I'm going to sacrifice them I was a big profit out of it.
> 3. Creative dept.
>
> In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
> fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
A six foot by three foot area in Forest Lawn.
> Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
Dr Who And The Anomaly of Death, by Brannon Braga
> Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
> jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
> what the content. What do you write about?
About 85,000 words
> Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
Sheets of paper, ink, that sort of thing.
> 4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
>
> What would be the best way to improve radw?
Widescreen
> Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
Actuallly nobody from here.
> Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
RADW: Gay Thread 9.
That's about as short as possible
> How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
> first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
Quotefiles are irrelevant. Your downloads will adapt to service us.
Resistance is futile.
> 5. Extra bonus question dept.
>
> Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
About five pages worth of synopsis.
--
"Try some terrorism for hire; we'll blow shit up... It's more fun!"
Glen Williams
> > Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
> > Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
> > just made up?
>
> Nick Cave
>
I actually thought of this one, but then I began to wonder: What if
Nick Cave wants to write some new lyrics for it?
And what if he's working on a sequel for Murder Ballads at the same
time?
-Glen "Curse of Millhaven" Williams
bi...@vt.edu
http://www.slac.com/kallisti/
bbsy...@pop3.concentric.net
Glen Williams wrote:
> > Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
>
> That would be nobody.
And what did nobody ever do to you?
bbsy...@pop3.concentric.net
Dr. Evil wrote:
> 1. Just 'Cos I'm Interested Dept.
>
> Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
> Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
> just made up?
Film scores, I usually prefer John Williams, but he wouldn't do the DW
theme...at least not do it and leave it simple. So, Alan Parsons.
> Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
> with any kind of respect?
I've never seen *any* DW newsreport.
> Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
If she hadn't died recently, I'd say Wendy O.Williams. Instead I'll vote
for Roseanne. Just don't expect me to watch it.
> Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
'Cuz I can't sleep sitting up.
> 2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
>
> What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
pass. subtract points.
> Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
Given my fixation on SM, I'd have more fun letting Shayla LaVeaux rip off my
arm than just watching her play the Doctor.
> Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
> good. Name them.
Senator, I refuse to name my friends.
> If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
If I can tolerate this, then surely I can tolerate children?
> 3. Creative dept.
>
> In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
> fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
(7Doc mode on)Don't you already know??
(7Doc mode off)
> Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
Curse of the Evil Doom of DeathThe Adric Dilemma
I was a Teenage Cyberman
120 Days of Solon
> Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
> jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
> what the content. What do you write about?
pass, again. I'm not that creative.
> Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
Does he write for the DW line? If so, then I'd put money on it being about
the Doctor and maybe a companion or two.
> 4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
>
> What would be the best way to improve radw?
A lounge would be nice, and a crying-room for trolls.
> Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
I am.
> Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
rec.arts.drwho.teganmygoddessrec.arts.drwho.warmfuzzyluvluvluv
rec.arts.drwho.spleenventing
> How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
> first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
Delirious! I hadn't even known there was one! ...and I've struggling
furiously to make my way back in!
> 5. Extra bonus question dept.
>
> Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
Oh, I never come up with anything very novel.
> "Put him in the cur-ry!"
Clarify the question.
Marcus Durham
<dr-...@belisarius.freeserve.co.uk> shared the following with us in
rec.arts.drwho:
[snip]
>1. Just 'Cos I'm Interested Dept.
>
>Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
>Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
>just made up?
>
>with any kind of respect?
Yes, when JP died.
>Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
Tony Slattery.
>Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
[snip]
David Hasslehoff
>
>Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
>
Doctor Who and the Giant Ball Invasion from Mars!
>Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
>jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
>what the content. What do you write about?
A Pigeon Street crossover.
>
>Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
>
>
>
>4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
>
>What would be the best way to improve radw?
It's put it on digital in widescreen. That would mean no more wavey
things.
>Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
>
>Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
Er, Bates Motel?
>
>How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
>first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
[snip]
Too long ago.
--
Marcus Durham
The UMTSDW Homepage. News, reviews, locations and Bates.
http://www.zenn.demon.co.uk/drwho/drwho.htm
The Scarlet Emperor
Dr. Evil <dr-...@belisarius.freeserve.co.uk> wrote in article
<366BF12E...@belisarius.freeserve.co.uk>...
> I can't remember seeing one of these for this month so obtaining the
> permission of absolutely nobody, I would like to present:
>
>
> Oh Cripes! It's Dr. Evil's Wacky December Survey (Bwah-hah-hah-hah!)
>
>
> Marks will be awarded for style, substance, silliness, swearing, stains
> and stupid alliterations.
>
> (Reading through all this, I must apologise for some of the troll-like
> nature of some of the questions. Don't answer anything you're not
> comfortable with, although naturally you'll be losing points and kudos)
>
>
> 1. Just 'Cos I'm Interested Dept.
>
> Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
> Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
> just made up?
Celine Dion
>
> Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
> with any kind of respect?
Er... now that you mention it... yes
>
> Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
That bitch from my local record store, but if she says NO like always
then... Angelica Houston
>
> Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
Because I have silk sheets
>
>
> 2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
>
> What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
Sylvester McCoy
>
> Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
Sylvester McCoy
>
> Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
> good. Name them.
I'll name Love and War "Basil", The Death of Art "Gertrude" and The Eight
Doctors "Afuckingloadofbollocks"
>
> If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
I'm gay. No.
> 3. Creative dept.
>
> In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
> fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
Not if I'm Terrance Dicks.
>
> Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
The Eight Doctors (oh shit it's done). OK then... The Retrial of a Time
Lord
>
> Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
> jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
> what the content. What do you write about?
The Valeyard instigating a war between the Daleks and the Cybermen, that
all infinity Doctors must prevent from destroying Gallifrey (along with the
help of UNIT), but the Autons have duplicated the Brigadier who is being
held hostage by the Rani and the Master, and only K-9, the White Guardian,
Ace and Iris Wildthyme can rescue him but along the way the Eye of Harmony
threatens to destroy the Universe at midnight, because Peri thought the
beam of light was pretty.
What do you mean Terrance Dicks is sueing me for breach of copyright?!
>
> Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
It is the turn of the century, and the Doctor and Fitz arrive to find a
world torn apart by geological disaster. A long-dormant virus has woken
and is systematically ripping its way through the Third World, while a
Priest from a religion-bound village in Spain returns from Somalia
unaffected by the disease, with a prophecy bound to change the planet.
When turbulent solar flares disrupt the planet and ancient cultural
ziggurats become impossibly radioactive and sentient, the Doctor travels
back in time to the source of the disruption - Turkey at the dawn of
Christianity. Hailed as an angel, the Doctor must play life and death with
a half-human hybrid who will change the world in years to come - but only
if the Doctor rescues him, and dooms the future to the chaos he left it
in...
And dooms Fitz, latterday Messiah for a long-dead civilisation, with it.
This is another horribly philosophical novel from Jim Mortimore in the
series of adventures featuring the Eighth Doctor and Fitz. And you thought
things would improve when Sam left.
>
>
>
> 4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
>
> What would be the best way to improve radw?
Join us all as one giant pink sentience pumping with condoms.
>
> Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
I can't get it to work, or I wouldn't be answering this survey!!! ;-)
>
> Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
rec.homosexual.jew.bashers.azaxyr.die.scum.drwho
alt.fluffy.mcgann.bunny.dreams.who
rec.weallknowthebooksarebetterthanthe.tvseries.admit.it.arts.na
rec.arts.drwu (the Jurassic Park spin off)
>
> How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
> first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
I haven't.
>
>
> 5. Extra bonus question dept.
>
> Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
The Fifth Doctor and Peri in the Amazon.
>
> --
Glen Williams
>
> Glen Williams wrote:
>
> > > Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
> >
> > That would be nobody.
>
Listen, was Nobody ever there when I needed him? No! All he ever does
is goof around and star in those Family Circle strips whenever they need
a replacement for Not Me. Nobody has never done one good thing for me.
So there.
-Glen "I Met a Man Who Wasn't There" Williams
bi...@vt.edu
http://www.slac.com/kallisti/
Mariane Desautels
> > Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
>
> rec.arts.drwho.gay
>
> realisticly speaking, it's coming down to
>
> rec.arts.drwho.was
> rec.arts.drwho.is
Indeed. She's dead and, notwithstanding that (we mourned, we moved on),
it *is*.
Mariane
--
"let's blur the intentions / and smudge what it stands for / reserve
the pretentions / for those who judge what we dance for / let's get
pissed / and buck the system / get our psyche's kissed / while our
flesh is twistin / it's not very often this army recruits / so let's
go Dancing In Heavy Boots." -- Dalbello
Mariane Desautels
>
> Dangermouse wrote:
> > > Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
> > > Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
> > > just made up?
> >
> >
>
> I actually thought of this one, but then I began to wonder: What if
> Nick Cave wants to write some new lyrics for it?
>
> And what if he's working on a sequel for Murder Ballads at the same
> time?
"Elegy For Roslyn"
"Kadiatu"
"Dalek Anthem"
"The Drunk of St-Oscar's"
"Song of Lytton"
etc.
Mariane Desautels
> 1. Just 'Cos I'm Interested Dept.
>
> Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
> just made up?
Portishead.
> Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
> with any kind of respect?
I haven't seen any mainstream news report on Doctor Who.
> Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
Laura Dern.
> Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
I sleep during the day, thank you very much.
> 2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
>
> What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
Star Trek crossover fanfic, with a few exceptions <g>
> Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
My arm is glue-free.
> Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
> good. Name them.
I don't kiss and tell.
> If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
I'm spawn-free, but my children will probably be very proper freaks.
> 3. Creative dept.
>
> In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
> fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
Move.
> Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
"Retcon Recursion"
> Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
> jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
> what the content. What do you write about?
The Valeyard.
> Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
Mr. Brief says: "do not pay attention to that little man behind the
boxers!"
> 4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
>
> What would be the best way to improve radw?
Venus Fly-Traps free for everyone!
> Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
I don't need no stinkin' killfile to do my dirty business for me!
> Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
rec.arts.drwho.fanwank
rec.arts.drwho.knock-knock
rec.arts.drwho.pie-charts
rec.arts.drwho.adric.overkill
rec.arts.drwho.lists
> How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
> first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
Bittersweetly happy.
I tried, and I tried, and I tried, but things didn't go the way I had
planned.
Maybe I should have planned, in retrospect.
> 5. Extra bonus question dept.
>
> Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
Time and relative dimensions in space, starring Yi-Arvaleichs and
Uranus. (Translate the latter into Greek to get it.)
Chris Rednour
[snip]
> 1. Just 'Cos I'm Interested Dept.
>
> Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
> Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
> just made up?
USC Marching Band.
> Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
> with any kind of respect?
No.
> Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
Someone.
> Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
Why are you watching?
> 2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
>
> What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
Cost.
> Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
FDR
> Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
> good. Name them.
Target
Virgin Books
BBC Books
Boxtree
> If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
Tolerate what?
> 3. Creative dept.
>
> In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
> fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
No. I'm keeping all my DFP's for future proposals.
> Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
Jane Eyre
> Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
> jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
> what the content. What do you write about?
I'd write whatever's next in my list of proposals to write.
> Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
Oops. I haven't read his earlier novels yet! Or have I..hmmm...?
> 4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
>
> What would be the best way to improve radw?
Dunno.
> Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
No one; have no killfile [or killfile capabilities!]
> Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
rec.arts.drwho.books
rec.arts.drwho.frequently.asked.questions
rec.arts.drwho.alien.sex
rec.arts.drwho.flamewar
rec.arts.drwho.moderated
rec.arts.drwho.authors
rec.arts.drwho.quotefile
rec.arts.drwho.off-topic
rec.arts.drwho.cute.anthopomorphic.cat.women
rec.arts.drwho.drwho
rec.arts.drwho.ridiculouslylongtitlethat'seasytomisspell
rec.arts.drwho.sad
rec.arts.drwho.happy
rec.arts.drwho.filk
rec.arts.drwho.anagrams.of.the.master
rec.arts.drwho.ohwrd.stra.cer
rec.arts.drwho.davidson
rec.arts.drwho.animated
rec.arts.drwho.john.nathan.turner
rec.arts.drwho.weekly.stats.oh.three.oh.eight
> How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
> first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
I actually yelled "Alright!" and I tried so hard to be witty I strained
myself.
> 5. Extra bonus question dept.
>
> Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
I can't tell you until I've submitted it and its been rejected.
-Chris Rednour
_________________________________________________________________
gs0...@panther.gsu.edu http://www.gsu.edu/~gs06cjr/index.html
cred...@gpc.peachnet.edu
Rebecca J. Bohner
theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've just made
up?<
Big Country.
>Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
with any kind of respect?<
*snort* You kidding?
>Who should play the Terrible Zodin?<
Dunno, but she'd better be good at swallowing swords.
>Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?<
You mean fluffing the covers doesn't help?
>What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?<
Badly knitted Fourth Doctor scarves.
>Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?<
Fabio.
>Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very good.
Name them.<
Anything and everything by Terrance Dicks (except, for some reason,
TIMEWYRM: EXODUS).
>If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
Only if you know something I don't.
>In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?<
Well, when that happened to the Master, he dressed up as an unconvincing
Frenchman and travelled back in time to try and prevent the signing of the
Magna Carta. Rather petty, really, but large-scale villainy's so
exhausting.
>Come up with the worst title for any DW story.<
"Doctor Who and the Fluffy Pink Bunnies of Doom"
>Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your jib
so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter what the
content. What do you write about?<
I make the Eleventh Doctor and Thea canon and collect my $862.55 (or
thereabouts) from Erin Tumilty.
>Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.<
Hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt, war, death, famine, pestilence, and more hurt.
>What would be the best way to improve radw?<
All trolls should be stuffed into a large canvas bag and sat upon.
>Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)<
Don't got one (sulks).
>Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.<
rec.arts.drwho.totally.offtopic.philosophical.debates
>How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?<
Positively dizzy, and all it took was a working knowledge of Neil Penswick's
and Dave Stone's respective writing styles, the famous yellow dip, and a bit
of cheek.
>Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?<
One finished fantasy novel about the dangerous friendship between a
quadriplegic art history student and a faery (of the seven-inch-tall
variety); one Sherlock Holmes novel-in-progress about what *really* happened
to Victor Trevor's sister; one pseudo-historical novel where the Sheriff of
Nottingham and his wife Marianne are the good guys and Robin Hood is a kind
of twelfth-century skinhead punk...
Oh, you meant Who stuff. None of that at the moment, sorry. I pretty much
lost my enthusiasm when the BBC turned down BLOOD-DIMMED TIDE.
--
Rebecca J. Bohner
rebe...@pobox.com
Meet the 11th Doctor and Thea at http://www.golden.net/~rebeccaj
lbr...@my-dejanews.com
"Dr. Evil" <dr-...@belisarius.freeserve.co.uk> wrote:
> permission of absolutely nobody, I would like to present:
>
> Oh Cripes! It's Dr. Evil's Wacky December Survey (Bwah-hah-hah-hah!)
>
> Marks will be awarded for style, substance, silliness, swearing, stains
> and stupid alliterations.
>
> (Reading through all this, I must apologise for some of the troll-like
> nature of some of the questions. Don't answer anything you're not
> comfortable with, although naturally you'll be losing points and kudos)
>
>
> Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
> just made up?
Hmm.
>
> Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
> with any kind of respect?
I saw something on DW in TV Guide a couple of years ago. That was kind of
nice.
>
> Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
Who? What's that?
>
> Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
I need to sleep sometime.
>
> 2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
>
> What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
>
> Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
I think I'll keep my arms, thanks. It's just a show, as far as actors are
concerned.
>
> Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
> good. Name them.
I haven't read the novels but I hear they're very interesting!
>
> If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
What? I don't understand the question.
>
> 3. Creative dept.
>
> In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
> fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
You're on your own, kid.
>
> Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
I don't use that type of language. ;-)
>
> Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
> jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
> what the content. What do you write about?
I'd write about the adventure I had with the 7th Doctor (I think he was the
one) back in 1992.
>
> Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
I haven't read it.
>
> 4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
>
> What would be the best way to improve radw?
>
> Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
I don't have a killfile and I don't want one. I'm an adult and I can take
responsibility for what I read.
>
> Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
I don't know. People talk so much about the newsgroup maybe they should make
a rec.arts.rec.arts.drwho.newsgroup.
>
> How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
> first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
>
> 5. Extra bonus question dept.
>
> Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
I'm not going to post that here! Sheesh! Even I'm not that stupid.
L.
Robwhite22
>Oh Cripes! It's Dr. Evil's Wacky December Survey (Bwah-hah-hah-hah!)
>
>1. Just 'Cos I'm Interested Dept.
>
>Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
>Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
>just made up?
>
Michael Nyman.
>Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
>with any kind of respect?
Nary one time
>
>Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
>
Kate Winslet. (This gives her two votes, and an early lead!)
>Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
>
To recharge my kinetic watch...
>
>2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
>
>What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
>
That damn' computer game.
>Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
Chris Rock (shudders) "Hey. don't you know *never* to touch a brother's
TARDIS?"
>
>Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
>good. Name them.
>
The Pit and Transit spring to mind. And then sag slowly from it again.
>If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
Probably. Though I'm not one for shooting rabbits or fascists.
>
>3. Creative dept.
>
>In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
>fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
>
Promising eternal new series for Doctor Who, dependant on fan funding. (Oh come
on, don't tell me *noone* would take the risk...)
>Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
The Guy with Two Hearts
>
>Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
>jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
>what the content. What do you write about?
>
The Valeyard, in a Fenric prequel, which neatly ties up UNIT dating, and every
other continuity error ever commited.
>Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
>
The Universe is at risk. The Doctor can only save it by facing his fears (and
being shot six times through either heart).
>
>4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
>
>What would be the best way to improve radw?
*Much* less coffee. And the odd group hug.
>Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
Don't have one, sadly.
>Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
Rec.arts.drwho.continuity.interminable.dull.discussions
Rec.arts.drwho.really.really.angry.at.the.world.and.my.mum.and.determined.
to.piss.of.as.many.people.as.possible.especially.those.who.like.sylvester.
>How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
>first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
Not there yet, as far as I know. Someone nominated me once a few years back,
and I begged like a *dog*.
>
>5. Extra bonus question dept.
>
>Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
Sixth Doctor and Peri in Kansas during the depression. That's all you're
getting......
Rob.
John Fletcher
Dr. Evil wrote:
> I can't remember seeing one of these for this month so obtaining the
> permission of absolutely nobody, I would like to present:
>
> Oh Cripes! It's Dr. Evil's Wacky December Survey (Bwah-hah-hah-hah!)
>
> Marks will be awarded for style, substance, silliness, swearing, stains
> and stupid alliterations.
>
> (Reading through all this, I must apologise for some of the troll-like
> nature of some of the questions. Don't answer anything you're not
> comfortable with, although naturally you'll be losing points and kudos)
>
> 1. Just 'Cos I'm Interested Dept.
>
> Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
> Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
> just made up?
Blur. (dooo-deeee-DOO!)
>
>
> Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
> with any kind of respect? None what so ever.
>
> Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
Rowan Atkinson. (Blaaaaaaa!)
>
>
> Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
Nothing that would you would like to know .... so Bugger OFF!
>
>
> 2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
>
> What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
The Tardis in The Sun.
>
>
> Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
The-artist-formaly-know-as-prince.
>
>
> Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
> good. Name them.
Me
Yann Le Bohec
Phil Barker
Barry Baldwin
Stewart Perowne
Sally M. Foster
Angus McBride
Norman Newton
Paul Bidwell
David Divine
and G. R. Watson.
>
>
> If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
maybe ......do nephews count?
>
>
> 3. Creative dept.
>
> In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
> fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
Lock everyone in one room for three hours and make them like watch
Teletubbies.
>
>
> Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
Wedding of adric and mel.
>
>
> Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
> jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
> what the content. What do you write about?
sam.
>
>
> Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
everyone dies.
>
>
> 4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
>
> What would be the best way to improve radw? Give it a tv station.
>
> Who's in your killfile? (be honest!) John peel and Jon Blum.
>
> Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
......................
>
>
> How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
> first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?It was my name
> someone was making fun of.
>
> 5. Extra bonus question dept.
>
> Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
A planet of Sam clones.
acfe...@compuserve.com
"Dr. Evil" <dr-...@belisarius.freeserve.co.uk> wrote:
> 1. Just 'Cos I'm Interested Dept.
>
> Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
> Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
> just made up?
Half Man Half Biscuit
> Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
> with any kind of respect?
Not while conscious
> Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
Micheal Sheard
> Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
It gives me a stiffy
> 2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
>
> What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
The way the textures get smeared in the 3dfx version of Quake Who
> Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
Nick Berry
> Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
> good. Name them.
The ones people go on about, or the ones I don't think are good? 'Parasite'
for the latter.
> If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
I will never breed and can therefore afford to be very tolerant.
> 3. Creative dept.
>
> In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
> fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
Now now, if you don't put the hard work in yourself how will you ever gain
any sense of self-respect?
> Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
'The Mutants'
> Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
> jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
> what the content. What do you write about?
Small furry animals having a peaceful and thoroughly contented life. They all
love each other and everyone is happy. That'll sell...
> Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
Paper, with words printed on them. Some of the words will be conjunctions.
> 4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
>
> What would be the best way to improve radw?
Colourise it.
> Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
I have no killfile. Pity me.
> Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
'rec.arts.drwho' scented Toilet Duck.
> How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
> first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
For some reason, everything of mine that gets quotefiled contains either
speling mistkaes or grammatically error. Very annoying.
> 5. Extra bonus question dept.
>
> Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
Oooh, well it's a 4thDoc/Sarah/Harry pseudo-historical set in an english
country house in the twenties (ish). Basically lots of mad science,
steampunkery, an alien trapped in the basement, no continuity and the butler
did it. It's called 'Spatchcock' and frankly, I'll never get around to
writing it as I'm an idle bastard.
Cheers,
Conrad
Ben Woodhams
> In article <366BF12E...@belisarius.freeserve.co.uk>,
> "Dr. Evil" <dr-...@belisarius.freeserve.co.uk> wrote:
> > Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
> > Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
> > just made up?
>
> Prodigy. Simply because it would piss a ton of people off.
Actually, I think a Howlett version of the theme would kick some serious
arse. Apparently, they've got a full size Dalek in the corner of their
studio....(the record co. bought it on hearng that Liam was something of
a DW fan).
Mariane Desautels
>
> jon_d...@my-dejanews.com wrote:
> > In article <366BF12E...@belisarius.freeserve.co.uk>,
> > "Dr. Evil" <dr-...@belisarius.freeserve.co.uk> wrote:
>
> > > Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
> > > Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
> > > just made up?
> >
> > Prodigy. Simply because it would piss a ton of people off.
>
> Actually, I think a Howlett version of the theme would kick some serious
> arse. Apparently, they've got a full size Dalek in the corner of their
> studio....(the record co. bought it on hearng that Liam was something of
> a DW fan).
I'd rather hear a Chumbawamba version than one written by Howlett.
But my #1 choice is Portishead.
...but a Portishead/Chumbawamba collaboration would be *interesting*, to
say the least.
Jonny EIS
>> Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
>> just made up?
The Moog Cookbook. Seriously.
>> Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
>> with any kind of respect?
Various, on John Craven's Newsround.
>> Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
Lola out of Eurotrash. Assisted by the Romeo Cleaners.
>> Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
Because I'm not in bed during the day.
>> 2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
>>
>> What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
Fans taking it all far too seriously and not getting on with each other.
>> Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
I'd rather no-one ripped off my arm, actually. If they want to play the
Doctor that badly, fine.
>> Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
>> good. Name them.
'Deceit' stopped me reading NAs for about four years, so I suppose it must
be the worst I've read so far...
>> 3. Creative dept.
>> Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
The Two Ranis
or
The Dalek Of The Daleks
>> Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
>> jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
>> what the content. What do you write about?
Scaroth, last of the Jagaroth, giving every other species in the galaxy a
good kicking.
>> 4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
>> Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
Anyone with an 'ax' in their name...
>> 5. Extra bonus question dept.
>>
>> Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
Next one: K-9 turning evil and killing the Doctor.
Jonny
Aidan Folkes
[snip]
: 1. Just 'Cos I'm Interested Dept.
:
: Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
: Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
: just made up?
The Spice Girls
: Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
: with any kind of respect?
No.
: Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
Geri Halliwell
: Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
I'm not going to even qualify this with an answer
: 2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
:
: What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
The end comes too soon.
: Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
I'd like Zoe to rip off my arm, ah err. You mean who would I not like
to see playing the good Doc.
Fergi.
: Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
: good. Name them.
I can't name everybody who is always going on about it.
It's not true though.
: If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
I don't have any, I'm only 21.
: 3. Creative dept.
:
: In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
: fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
Trap the world in a looped voicemail system.
: Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
Return of the Daleks.
: Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
: jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
: what the content. What do you write about?
If I told you that I'd never finish writing the damn thing.
: Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
Loads of people die.
: 4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
:
: What would be the best way to improve radw?
Split it into subtopic groups.
radwbooks, radwmisc, radwinfo, radwcreative
: Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
PFJ.
: Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
Smith? - Robert Smith? moves to Seattle where he has his own radio show but
has to look after his father and the dog from hell.
: How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
: first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
I was happy and I didn't try much at all. Really, scouts hounour, what do you
mean I wasn't a scout.
: 5. Extra bonus question dept.
:
: Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
I told you, I'm not telling.
--
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
// Aidan Folkes : af6...@bristol.ac.uk www.folktest.demon.co.uk
Tubby Custard! Tubby Custard!
Ben Woodhams
>
> Ben Woodhams wrote:
> >
> > jon_d...@my-dejanews.com wrote:
> > > In article <366BF12E...@belisarius.freeserve.co.uk>,
> > > "Dr. Evil" <dr-...@belisarius.freeserve.co.uk> wrote:
> >
> > > > Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
> > > > just made up?
> I'd rather hear a Chumbawamba version than one written by Howlett.
He gets knocked down
But he gets up again
He gets exiled to earth (and falls over in the woods)
But he gets up again
He gets radiation poisoning (and falls over in UNIT HQ)
But he gets up again
He gets tipped off a radio telescope
But he gets up again
He gets spectrox toxaemia (and falls over in the TARDIS)
But he gets up again
He headbutts the console (ditto)
But he gets up again
He gets shot in chest and is victim of some 'damn fool earth surgeons'
But he gets up again.
(Chorus)
Wooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooooooo, etc, etc.
Helen Fayle
Dr. Evil wrote:
> I can't remember seeing one of these for this month so obtaining the
> permission of absolutely nobody, I would like to present:
>
> Oh Cripes! It's Dr. Evil's Wacky December Survey (Bwah-hah-hah-hah!)
>
> Marks will be awarded for style, substance, silliness, swearing, stains
> and stupid alliterations.
>
> (Reading through all this, I must apologise for some of the troll-like
> nature of some of the questions. Don't answer anything you're not
> comfortable with, although naturally you'll be losing points and kudos)
>
> 1. Just 'Cos I'm Interested Dept.
>
> Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
> Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
> just made up?
Rush
>
>
> Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
> with any kind of respect?
Not in living memory.
>
>
> Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
Meryl Streep. That way we get to hear her Gallifreyan accent.
>
>
> Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
You said you'd discontinued the surveillance!!
>
>
> 2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
>
> What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
>
That there isn't any.
> Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
Eddie Izzard.
>
>
> Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
> good. Name them.
I'm not a snitch!!
>
>
> If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
Why not, yours were!
>
>
> 3. Creative dept.
>
> In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
> fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
Nope. I'm saving my quota of fiendish plots for my role as Mistress Helen,
come the resurection of that cheating, lying murdering green skinned fish
bait, Finn Fang Foom.
>
>
> Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
The Dalek Invasion of the Cyberman Homeworld in 3700 AD
>
>
> Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
> jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
> what the content. What do you write about?
The 8th Doctor ditches Sam and goes back to get Sarah.
Oh wait, I'm writing that anyway... <g>
>
>
> Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
Oh, ask me a hard one! "Everybody Dies"
>
>
> 4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
>
> What would be the best way to improve radw?
There's a way??
>
>
> Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
John Long and Waxvax, relevant to this NG anyway.
>
>
> Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
rec.arts.drwho.sexrec.arts.drwho.bestiality
rec.arts.drwho.pmeb
rec.arts.drwho.mccoy-v-pertwee (just to get rid of it once an ferall!)
>
>
> How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
> first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
Ecstatic! and *VERY* hard... All those nominations and I finally make it on
a bloody poster caption I was going to add to a picture!!
>
>
> 5. Extra bonus question dept.
>
> Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
Not telling. So nyah!!
Carnegie
<dr-...@belisarius.freeserve.co.uk> wrote:
>
>
> Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
> Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
> just made up?
Radiohead. Smashing Pumpkins. Mansun would probably be a more
sensible choice, since they might even want to do it.
> Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
> with any kind of respect?
>
> Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
Brian Blessed, He was born for it! "HA! HA! HAARRR! HAAAaaa! I am
the TERRRRRIBLE ZOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOODIN!!!!!!"
> Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
Because I'm tired.
> 2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
>
> What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
So-and-so-will-play-the-next-Doctor articles, stereotypes, those early
publicity photos of McCoy in that yellow suit.
> Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
Ethan Coen. (According to Joel Silver, Coen did a screen-test for
DW back in the seventies, but there was some kind of disagreement
over who should play his companion and he stormed out).
> Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
> good. Name them.
Nope. Haven't read many yet.
> If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
Yes please.
> 3. Creative dept.
>
> In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
> fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
Yes. Lay motorways with astro-turf as to attract short-sighted
PE teachers to their bloody deaths.
> Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
The Terror of Zodin.
> Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
> jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
> what the content. What do you write about?
Doctor Who and the Mutant Kung-fu Prawns from the Sugar Sewers of
Planet Love.
> Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
Lots of words, but this time including subliminal advertising for
Jim's new skin-care products, Mortimore's Moisturisers.
> 4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
>
> What would be the best way to improve radw?
A killfile.
> Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
I don't have one.
> Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
rec.arts.drwho.fluffy.bunnies
No one would post to it, but it would be useful just in case.
> How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
> first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
Don't think I'm in it.
> 5. Extra bonus question dept.
>
> Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
I dunno. Something about a frustrated business man (think Duggan,
but with a gun, not his fists) going on a Bounty Hunter Holiday and
ending up discovering his target isn't just an ordinary criminal.
It would be written from his perspective, as a sort of seedy
detective-style thing. He runs into the Doctor about mid-way into
the story, a weirdo who says hes been conducting his own investigations,
and they join forces. Well, the Doctor joins forces with him to stop
him causing more trouble really.
--
JohN
"Mortimore's Moisturisers, simply natural, simply moisturise".
Nick Smale
> What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
The Dominators.
> Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
The Dominators.
--
Nick Smale <http://www.smale.demon.co.uk>
Manchester, UK
arthur...@my-dejanews.com
> 1. Just 'Cos I'm Interested Dept.
>
> Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
> Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
> just made up?
>
The theme has always wanted comedy lyrics to give it that extra distinctive
edge. I believe these, and an overall reworking of the theme, would be most
ably provided by newly re-formed Devonian combo The Wurzels.
> Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
> with any kind of respect?
Once when Pat Troughton died. Once when Jon Pertwee died. Otherwise "Norman"
Never is ascendant.
> Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
No-one should play the Terrible Zodin. I played there once with my skiffle
band. Never again. More beer on the stage than in the auditorium.
> Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
Because Mrs Banana takes up a position reminiscent of a traditional wire
coat-hanger and there is insufficient space left to do otherwise.
> 2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
>
> What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
The stories of Malcolme Hulke carry a distinct anti-banana subtext that quite
spoil them for me. At no point in the Silurians does a banana have a
positive role to play, and the War Games is definitely fruitist. I mean what
happens in times of war? That's right - Bananas are rationed! Need I say
more?
> Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
My arm has already been plagiarised by all and sundry. It's too late for me.
> Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
> good. Name them.
Roy Walker, the catchphrase host, goes on about it all the time. It's just
that you have to be in the studio audience because they edit it out of the
broadcast show.
> If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
My children are as tolerant as I am.
> 3. Creative dept.
>
> In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
> fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
There's an allotment going begging down our way. Not very fiendish but your
leeks come up lovely. Not so good for starfruit, though.
> Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
Doctor Who and a chair.
> Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
> jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
> what the content. What do you write about?
Adric's first experience of ringburn.
> Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
Well he'd better not nick my Adric idea. I sweated Angel Delight over that
one.
> 4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
>
> What would be the best way to improve radw?
More space should be devoted to frank and open discussion of the relative
merits of the Doctor's Third and Seventh incarnations.
> Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
No-one. I believe in the freedom of speech for all, with the exception of
Sandra Dickinson, who has a very irritating voice.
> Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
Alt.fan.adric.vindaloo.lager.oy-are-you-going-to-be-on-the-bog-for-ever-or-what
> How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
> first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
So delirius that I perspired Birdseye supermousse.
> 5. Extra bonus question dept.
>
> Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
Like I said - The Doctor is unstable after regeneration and dares Adric to go
for the hottest curry on the menu. The cloister bell has cause to ring early
the following morning...
Arthur Banana
--
He's only Arthur Banana...
...but he's better than the rest.
The Scarlet Emperor
<snip>
> > Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
>
> I don't know. People talk so much about the newsgroup maybe they should
make
> a rec.arts.rec.arts.drwho.newsgroup.
QUOTEFILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chris Rednour
> Dr. Evil wrote:
> > 1. Just 'Cos I'm Interested Dept.
> >
> > Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
> > Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
> > just made up?
>
> Portishead.
AGH! I wish I had thought of that! Instead I could only think of a sorry
joke answer. <goes to bang head on cabnet>
Nick Caldwell
<dr-...@belisarius.freeserve.co.uk> wrote:
>I can't remember seeing one of these for this month so obtaining the
>permission of absolutely nobody, I would like to present:
>
>
>Oh Cripes! It's Dr. Evil's Wacky December Survey (Bwah-hah-hah-hah!)
>
>
>Marks will be awarded for style, substance, silliness, swearing, stains
>and stupid alliterations.
>
>(Reading through all this, I must apologise for some of the troll-like
>nature of some of the questions. Don't answer anything you're not
>comfortable with, although naturally you'll be losing points and kudos)
>
>
>1. Just 'Cos I'm Interested Dept.
>
>Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
>Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
>just made up?
The Cure. Failing that, me.
>Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
>with any kind of respect?
Well, there were a few when Jon Pertwee died.
>Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
Roseanne
>Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
Because I wouldn't want all that blood on the carpet.
>2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
>
>What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
A lack of appreciation for large, faceless, evil, multinational
corporations.
>Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
Don Johnson. Or possibly Liam Gallager.
>Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
>good. Name them.
Please turn over the page.
>If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
No, they can wait their turn like anybody else.
>3. Creative dept.
>
>In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
>fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
Yes.
>Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
Revenge of the Felchlords.
>Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
>jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
>what the content. What do you write about?
A dense exposition of my leftist political philosophies called
"Revenge of the Felchlords".
>Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
A prolonged erotic torture scene involving Seargant Benton and
Corporal Bell.
>4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
>
>What would be the best way to improve radw?
Give all the participants a large inflatable baseball bat.
>Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
Too many to count. I just crashed my newsreader trying to find out.
>Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
rec.arts.drwho.offshoots
rec.arts.it's.actually.doctor.not.dr.who.pedantic.gits
rec.arts.drwho.good.homer
rec.arts.drwho.evil.homer
>How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
>first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
Far too happy. Far too hard.
>5. Extra bonus question dept.
>
>Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
Well, there's these pan-galactic entities known as felc---
Never mind.
--
Nick Caldwell-----------------------------------------
- - M/C: a journal of media and culture - -
s32...@student.uq.edu.au | http://www.uq.edu.au/mc/
------------------------------------------------------
K. Michael Wilcox
> Oh Cripes! It's Dr. Evil's Wacky December Survey (Bwah-hah-hah-hah!)
> Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
> Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
> just made up?
Randy Rogel (who did many of those songs from "Animaniacs!")
> Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
> with any kind of respect?
Not really, but then what SF show _has_ gotten real respect?
> Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
If we're going big-budget, umm, Joanna Lumley. Otherwise, Jean Marsh.
> Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
Me: [Waves hand] What? I didn't do anything.
Dr. Evil: You didn't do anything.
Me: Good boy.
> What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
So far as I've known, the aspect was always 1.33 to 1, just like most
other television.
> Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
Doesn't matter. I have velcro in the shoulders now.
> Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
> good. Name them.
Billy and Bobby and little Betty Sue and Clem Jr and Laurabell and...
> If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
No, I don't think I'll ever tolerate my children.
> In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
> fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
Tsk, tsk. I've been selling plots to megalomaniacs since 1993, and
I still get people asking me to give them away.
> Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
whoQuest: DSV
> Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
> jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
> what the content. What do you write about?
A thin set-up for a prolonged lesbian encounter involving several
companions which raises such controversy that everyone buys the book to
see what's causing the fuss (or so they say), little knowing that buried
in the pages is a subliminal passage which turns them all into my willing
puppets!
That or a slapstick comedy.
> Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
Nobody dies. Confused readers around the world go catatonic.
> What would be the best way to improve radw?
Fewer unfunny off-topic cascades. More funny ones.
> Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
Does this reader have a killfile?
> Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
alt.drwho.creative.drabble (Well, it's a spin-off of a spin-off, but
so was "Good Times")
> How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
> first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
Immensely. I really liked Random's because I was in it a lot while
I was hardly ever in Smith?'s. I kept getting emails from people saying
"Quotefile!" but it never helped.
> 5. Extra bonus question dept.
> Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
Again with the demands of freebies! Oi!
K. M. Wilcox
I always drezzzz for the occasion.
Michael S. Tumilty
Paul 'Ozymandias' Harman wrote in message
<74h517$1ji$1...@statler.server.colt.net>...
>
>Michael S. Tumilty <Tum...@email.msn.com> wrote in message
>news:74h3gt$l...@bgtnsc02.worldnet.att.net...
>>_Tegan pointed at the words appearing on the page. "But
>>we haven't done any of this yet." "But we will," said
>>Nyssa,"How can we not..."_
>
>
>You rotter. I now have to go through the rest of my Who life knowing that
>I'll never read this brilliant novel.
>
I am seriously thinking of jumping in and starting the
damn thing, but I don't know how the Beeb would react
to a Bodleian Bed and Breakfast, run by a man who can
only be described as Basil Fawlty if Fawlty Towers had
been written by H. P. Lovecraft, in a Doctor Who novel
that eschews breaking down the fourth wall in favour of demolishing the
entire house (with the Doctor and company
still inside).
What do you guys think?
-Erin (St.) ~Right Honourable RADW Babe of the Year~
President of Save Our Doctor: Television's Hero In Space
Proudly telling the Beeb to SOD THIS since 1997
"I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'm
going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn't any
Narnia." Puddleglum, _The Silver Chair_
who...@my-dejanews.com
"Dr. Evil" <dr-...@belisarius.freeserve.co.uk> wrote:
> Oh Cripes! It's Dr. Evil's Wacky December Survey (Bwah-hah-hah-hah!)
And it's my 2nd wacky December answers, since the first seem to have gotten
lost in cyberspace. If they turn up later, do I get graded twice?
> 1. Just 'Cos I'm Interested Dept.
>
> Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
> Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
> just made up?
The Beatles. All 5 of them.
> Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
> with any kind of respect?
Not only did I see it, I was in it.
> Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
Emma Thompson, but only because I think Emma Thompson should play everybody.
> Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
Because I *like* peanut butter.
> 2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
>
> What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
Tom Baker's underpants; no wait, that should be *the* Tom Baker underpants
> Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
Garrison Keillor
> Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
> good. Name them.
Are you mad? I'd lose track somewhere around the 3 millionth "John Smith" and
I'd have to start over. Not to mention the fact that there are 800 million
people named "Wong" in China alone.
> If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
"It can't happen here".
> 3. Creative dept.
>
> In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
> fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
There's "The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu", but perhaps it's not devilish
enough for you.
> Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
The Time Monster
> Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
> jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
> what the content. What do you write about?
Susan's grandmother
> Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
It'll be about 286 pages long, and someone besides me will have to read it.
> 4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
>
> What would be the best way to improve radw?
more group hugs and filk singing
> Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
Don't have one; wouldn't use it if I did
> Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
rec.arts.drwho.tvstoriesonlysodon'teven*think*aboutmentioningthebookshere
[moderated]
> How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
> first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
"I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me." Apparently I didn't try hard
enough. I thought the stuff that made it wasn't as funny as some of the stuff
that didn't.
> 5. Extra bonus question dept.
>
> Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
*Novel*, hell! I'm holding out for a contract to turn my website into a book.
--
Allen Robinson
Who's Doctor Who?
www.dwebs.net/~allenrob/whoshome.html
Paul 'Ozymandias' Harman
>I am seriously thinking of jumping in and starting the
>
>What do you guys think?
Write the damned thing anyway. If nothing else, you could put it up on
alt.drwho.crative or submit it for "Perfect Timing 2".
Ozzy
bbsy...@pop3.concentric.net
Carnegie wrote:
> > Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
>
> rec.arts.drwho.fluffy.bunnies
>
> No one would post to it, but it would be useful just in case.
Just like rec.arts.drwho.ontopic.(ducks and runs)
Melmoth
> news:74kr7m$4...@bgtnsc03.worldnet.att.net...
> >I am seriously thinking of jumping in and starting the
> >damn thing, but I don't know how the Beeb would react... [snip]
> >
> >What do you guys think?
Hell, I'd read it!
Scott Andrews
Peace, Love and pizza
Robwhite22
>> > > > Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that
>I've
>> > > > just made up?
>
>> I'd rather hear a Chumbawamba version than one written by Howlett.
>
>He gets knocked down
> But he gets up again
>He gets exiled to earth (and falls over in the woods)
> But he gets up again
>He gets radiation poisoning (and falls over in UNIT HQ)
> But he gets up again
>He gets tipped off a radio telescope
> But he gets up again
>He gets spectrox toxaemia (and falls over in the TARDIS)
> But he gets up again
>He headbutts the console (ditto)
> But he gets up again
>He gets shot in chest and is victim of some 'damn fool earth surgeons'
> But he gets up again.
>
>(Chorus)
>Wooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooooooo, etc, etc.
>
QUOTEFILE!
Kinda appropriate to this thread as well!
Rob.
who...@my-dejanews.com
"Michael S. Tumilty" <Tum...@email.msn.com> wrote:
>
> Paul 'Ozymandias' Harman wrote in message
> <74h517$1ji$1...@statler.server.colt.net>...
> >
> >>_Tegan pointed at the words appearing on the page. "But
> >>we haven't done any of this yet." "But we will," said
> >>Nyssa,"How can we not..."_
> >
> >
> >You rotter. I now have to go through the rest of my Who life knowing that
> >I'll never read this brilliant novel.
> >
> to a Bodleian Bed and Breakfast, run by a man who can
> only be described as Basil Fawlty if Fawlty Towers had
> been written by H. P. Lovecraft, in a Doctor Who novel
> that eschews breaking down the fourth wall in favour of demolishing the
> entire house (with the Doctor and company
> still inside).
>
It's already been done. It was called "Lungbarrow". 8)
Seriously, go for it. I'd love to read it.
Ben Woodhams
<snip snip snip>
> >Wooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooooooo, etc, etc.
> >
>
> QUOTEFILE!
>
> Kinda appropriate to this thread as well!
>
Thank you. But....quotefile? What quotefile??
bbsy...@pop3.concentric.net
Michael S. Tumilty wrote:
> I am seriously thinking of jumping in and starting the
> damn thing,...
> What do you guys think?
Do it.
R. Smeltzer
>Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
>just made up?
Catatonia, or if it has to stay instrumental, how about Jools Holland and his
rhythm and blues orchestra.
>Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
>with any kind of respect?
No, but I saw one of a convention that showed costumed lunatics before showing
how long the autograph queue was, revealing absolutely no people in costume,
rather giving the lie to the previous implication.
>Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
Anne Widdecombe (sp?)
>Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
Because I happen to like it, OK?
>2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
>
>What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
Saw K9 and company on Monday, so that's all I can think of in reply to this
question.
>Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
My arm and I are rather attatched to one another, so no-one.
>Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
>good. Name them.
The Pit, 8Docs, War of the Daleks, Legacy of the Daleks, Transit, although I'm
sure all of these have had at least one person defend them, so not EVERYBODY
goes on about their relative lack of quality.
>If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
Yes, so excuse my whilst I go on a Fascist hunt.
>3. Creative dept.
>
>In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
>fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
Kidnap Noel Edmonds and threaten to give him back unless you get to take over
the world.
>Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
I don't want to traumatise everyone.
>Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
>jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
>what the content. What do you write about?
Armadillos; smooth on the inside, crunchy on the outside; armadillos!
>Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
Dried wood-pulp.
>4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
>
>What would be the best way to improve radw?
Perhaps if it came under certain laws like slander, libel and incitement to
racial hatred. I wouldn't want to see any individual currently around banned.
On the other hand I just don't know, I mean newspapers come under the above
laws, but I'd rather read radw than some of them.
>Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
Nobody
>Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
books, .comics, local.yorkshire, .master.dieandmagicallycomeback.
dieandmagicallycomeback.dieandmagicallycomeback, .k9, .semiotic.thickness,
flame, .spam, .threshold, .clangers, .cybermen.excellent, .sad, .puppet,
filk.off, .that's.the.name.of.the.programme.not.of.the.main.character,
davidson, .tele, .radio and <cough>.mod
>How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
>first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
Quite happy and not as hard as I tried to get somebody to reply to one of my
posts for the first time.
>5. Extra bonus question dept.
>
>Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
Ain't got one. Can't write to sate my liff.
--
Richard Smeltzer
William December Starr
"Michael S. Tumilty" <Tum...@email.msn.com> said:
> I am seriously thinking of jumping in and starting the damn thing,
> but I don't know how the Beeb would react to a Bodleian Bed and
> Breakfast, run by a man who can only be described as Basil Fawlty if
> Fawlty Towers had been written by H. P. Lovecraft, in a Doctor Who
> novel that eschews breaking down the fourth wall in favour of
> demolishing the entire house (with the Doctor and company still
> inside).
Isn't that last bit what we call a "Doctor Who Chose-Your-Own
Adventure?" :-)
-- William December Starr <wds...@crl.com>
William December Starr
bi...@vt.edu said:
>> Marks will be awarded for style, substance, silliness, swearing,
>> stains and stupid alliterations.
>
> Really? Right! Rack 'em up, Riley, this Rucker's* goin' down Royally!
>
> (*Convenient alliterative typo)
Ruh-Roh!
William December Starr
"Dr. Evil" <dr-...@belisarius.freeserve.co.uk> said:
> Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the
> Doctor Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making
> that I've just made up?
Today? I don't know; I'm not really up on what you modern kids call
"music."
If I could magically reconstitute The Who as they were when they were
turning out stuff like "Baba O'Riley" (sp?) and "Won't Get Fooled Again,"
though...
> Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
Ru Paul.
> Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
Because if I did it on the radiotelescope my hips would chafe.
> Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
Jason Carter. (Well, Adam Sandler too, but I'm limiting myself to
actors that have been included in real people's real wish lists.)
> In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of
> devillishly fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
"Meanwhile, in a underground lair in Arizona, an evil mastermind was
desperately trying to come up with a devilishly fiendish plot..."
> Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
"Reasonableness of the Daleks."
Stephen Watson
>
The Unexpected Appearance of the Daleks.
--
Stephen Watson <URL:http://www.kerofin.demon.co.uk/> Glorantha & RISC OS
"And I looked up as he reached down And snorted the flower in his buttonhole
He smiled and his eyes lied I was staring at a suit with no soul"
TARDIS66
>Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
>just made up?
Blondie, of course. Just in time for their comback too. Failing that, Junior
Vasquez should do a kick-ass techno version that would rival the work he did
for Mission: Impossible
>Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
>with any kind of respect?
>
No respect, but usually more so in a clueless fashion.
>Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
>
Joan Collins! Or Joan Rivers
>Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
It helps me to sleep
>Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
Marky Mark
>Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
>good. Name them.
Venusian Lullaby, Evolution, Transit, Man in the Velvet Mask, etc
>Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
>
The Deadly Assassin. What assassin isn't?
>Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
>
I'm on AOL so I don't get a killfile
>How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
>first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
Ecstatic and it took almost no trouble at all
>Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
>
I blow up the TARDIS and then put it back together again. Room by room.It
would feature the Fifth Doctor and his myserious gay companion.
Rob Claffie - The Knights of the White Guardian
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Rampart/2145/
I'm half-British. On my mother's side.
TARDIS66
>
That might take quite a bit of research. Oh look! My schedule just freed up!
=)
GLC
> > I can't remember seeing one of these for this month so obtaining the
>
> > permission of absolutely nobody, I would like to present:
> >
>
> >
> >
> >
> Doctor
> > Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that
> I've
> > just made up?
I'll do it cheap. No really. Aw come on. Oh all right.Well, let's see...
if you want the huge sweeping theatrical sound
go with Jerry Goldsmith (The Shadow, Logan's Run, ST:TNG), if
you want that sleek commercial spy movie sound, hand it off to
the remains of Duran, or perhaps incidental music from Beck,
full of Theremins and a cuisinart of all the previous themes.
> > Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the
> show
> > with any kind of respect?
Well, I am in the U.S., so... wait a moment, yes, the bit on the
TomBaker years where they're covering his departure from the series.
> >
> > What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
>
>
Hmmm... who was it that said mixing art and politics was likefiring a
pistol in a crowded theatre...
>
>
> >
> > Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
>
>
Er... sheesh man, I play with this arm... no can't spare either of
them///
> >
> > Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't
> very
> > good. Name them.
>
>
Erm... about 88% of the Virgin NA's...
>
>
> >
> > If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
>
>
Worse. Much.
>
>
> >
> > 3. Creative dept.
> >
> > In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of
> devillishly
> > fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
>
>
Devilish and fiendish doesn't really seem to need the help nowadays...
> >
> > Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
>
>
Doctor Who and the Putrescent Infection.
>
>
> >
> > Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of
> your
> > jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no
> matter
> > what the content. What do you write about?
>
>
A moving story in which Sam Jones finally finds herself faced with a
situationshe cannot abandon. Much like Nyssa in Terminus, she makes the
difficult
decision to leave the TARDIS and all hope of return to Coal Hill, in the
name
of helping to shape a new culture in the wake of a "Reign of
Terror"-like
revolution gone wrong. "There they created Napoleon, Doctor. Maybe
with
that perspective, I can help Xaron avoid that end and rebuild their
ideals."
The Doctor grips her shoulders with genuine affection, "You're very
brave.
The best of luck to you." He returns to the TARDIS, Sam returns to her
quest and the reader opens a bottle of fine champagne saved for just
such an occasion.
>
>
> >
> > 4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
> >
> > What would be the best way to improve radw?
>
>
Pay the contributors.
>
>
> >
> > Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
>
None. Better question might be whose killfile am I in?
>
>
> >
> > Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be
> created.
>
>
rec.arts.drwho.political
> > 5. Extra bonus question dept.
> >
> > Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
>
>
Erm... well I have two. Neither of which have anything
to do with Who. Which is why I appreciate just being audience
as far as the Doctor is concerned.
--
Back on the air with flair to spare!
www.io.com/~glc
GLC
> > 5. Extra bonus question dept.
> >
> > Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
>
> A planet of Sam clones.
>
> >
>
Ack! I think they just heard me screaming in Kansas. Shize, man,
don't scare me like that, I nearly choked on my toast.
GLC
> >
> > What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
>
> The stories of Malcolme Hulke carry a distinct anti-banana subtext
> that quite
> spoil them for me. At no point in the Silurians does a banana have a
> positive role to play, and the War Games is definitely fruitist. I
> mean what
> happens in times of war? That's right - Bananas are rationed! Need I
> say
> more?
>
I would nominate this for the quotefile but I bet it'd get blocked
by the apple faction. They're so touchy nowadays.
GLC
> > In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of
> > devillishly fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
>
> "Meanwhile, in a underground lair in Arizona, an evil mastermind was
> desperately trying to come up with a devilishly fiendish plot..."
>
>
Let's introduce a brilliant but blocked evil genius to the book series.
Then they could just check back with him, Tristram Shandy-like, every
few books. There would always be the implication that when he did
finally come hit on it, boy that would be the book to buy... yeah...
get to that right after we wrap up the split Sam plotline...
"Hmm... biowarfare?"
"Hmmmmmmmmnyah that was Wednesday."
"Oh yeah."
"Hmm..."
"Want some more coffee?"
"Sure, okay...."
bbsy...@pop3.concentric.net
GLC wrote:
> > > Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
> >
> Er... sheesh man, I play with this arm... no can't spare either of
> them///
You play with your **arm**??! Some sex life. Most people play with their -
oh skip it.
Benjamin F. Elliott
>> > I can't remember seeing one of these for this month so obtaining the
permission of absolutely nobody, I would like to present:
>> >
>> > Oh Cripes! It's Dr. Evil's Wacky December Survey (Bwah-hah-hah-hah!)
>>
>> > 1. Just 'Cos I'm Interested Dept.
>> >
>> > Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
>> > Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
>> > just made up?
>
Lawrence Welk's band and Guns N Roses in a first ever co-production just to
confuse the English.
>> > Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the
>> show
>> > with any kind of respect?
>
No.
>> >
>> > What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
>>
Doctor Who ice cream pops.
>> >
>> > Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
>>
Alan Alda.
>> > Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't
>> very
>> > good. Name them.
>>
Warlock. The idea that the series could produce a spawn like this made me
seriously consider dropping support for the series forever. No other story
before or since has caused such an effect on me.
>> >
>> > If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
>>
Well, I'd like to think that if I tolerated something I shouldn't, then my
children would not fall into the same trap.
>> > 3. Creative dept.
>> >
>> > In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of
>> devillishly
>> > fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
>>
Deny. When you're caught, evade. Then claim it's not impeachable. People
will eat out of your hands.
>> > Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
>>
"A Patched-Together Piece Of Trash That We Cobbled Together To Fill In A 25
Minute Slot That We Didn't Have The Imagination To Properly Fill"
>> > Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of
>> your
>> > jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no
>> matter
>> > what the content. What do you write about?
>>
The Doctor arrives in Manassas in July 1911, just before a 50th anniversary
Peace Jubilee involving the survivors of the War Between The States. Someone
is plotting to assassinate President Taft, and the Doctor is willing to help
that person, because history records that Taft was assassinated during these
ceremonies. (The more astute people reading or watching the story will
remember that Taft was not assassinated, and can enjoy some added suspence.)
>> > 4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
>> >
>> > What would be the best way to improve radw?
>>
A snazzier name that helps more fans find it.
>> > Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
>>
Haven't bothered to use it yet, but I probably will someday.
>> > Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be
>> created.
>>
rec.arts.this.week.in.drwho
rec.arts.drwho.death.of.time
rec.arts.drwho.quotefile
rec.arts.drwho.survey
rec.arts.drwho.teletubbies
>> > 5. Extra bonus question dept.
>> >
>> > Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
>>
No comment. I'd rather develop it myself. Thanks anyway.
Benjamin F. Elliott
John Pettigrew
wonderful "Dr. Evil" <dr-...@belisarius.freeserve.co.uk> clattered
away at the keyboard and came up with this:
>I can't remember seeing one of these for this month so obtaining the
>permission of absolutely nobody, I would like to present:
>
>
>Oh Cripes! It's Dr. Evil's Wacky December Survey (Bwah-hah-hah-hah!)
>
>
>Marks will be awarded for style, substance, silliness, swearing, stains
>and stupid alliterations.
>
>(Reading through all this, I must apologise for some of the troll-like
>nature of some of the questions. Don't answer anything you're not
>comfortable with, although naturally you'll be losing points and kudos)
>
>
>1. Just 'Cos I'm Interested Dept.
>
>Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
>Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
>just made up?
Erasure
>Have you ever seen a mainstream news report on DW that treated the show
>with any kind of respect?
The BBC didn't rip the piss all that often - Tom's departure, Peter's
too and I'm sure there was a bit about Tom and Lalla's marriage..
>Who should play the Terrible Zodin?
Kathy Burke
>Why on earth do you do that in bed at night?
>
Because it's cold
>2. Dr. Evil 'Heh-heh-heh' Dept.
>
>What is the worst aspect of DW in any media?
The fact that things never go quite right for us - Star Trek was
cancelled but it came back. WHO didn't. Star Trek was elevated with
the success of it's first couple of films. WHO wasn't. The films
lead on to a very successful series of series. WHO didn't.
>Who would you rather rip off your arm than see playing the Doctor?
Julian Clarey
>Everybody is always going on about how some of the novels aren't very
>good. Name them.
Azaxyr, Robert Smith?, most of the posters, actually..
>If you tolerate this, would your children be next?
I'm still to father children
>
>3. Creative dept.
>
>In my underground lair in Arizona, I sometimes run out of devillishly
>fiendish plots. Can you suggest any?
No, I need them all for myself
>Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
The Tampons of Blood
>Steve Cole, in an act of suspicious benevolence, likes the cut of your
>jib so much he has granted you the chance to write a DW novel no matter
>what the content. What do you write about?
Something crap with the Krynoids
>Give a brief prediction of the contents of the next Jim Mortimore novel.
>
People dying after agonising about the meaning of life
>4. RADW navel-gazing dept.
>
>What would be the best way to improve radw?
Remove all the people on it and replace them with identical replicants
>Who's in your killfile? (be honest!)
I don't have one. I've got a copy of the 1969 Beano Annual, though
>Give a short list of rec.arts.drwho... offshoots that could be created.
rec.arts.drwho.thecanon
rec.arts.drwho.pertweeVmccoy
rec.arts.drwho.abusetothejewishfaithandmccoyiscrap
rec.arts.drwho.myreviewof thelatestbook
>How happy were you when you first saw your name in the quotefile for the
>first time, and how hard did you try to get in there?
Ha,ha! That just sums it up really! Very pleased with myself and
"like a bugger"
>
>5. Extra bonus question dept.
>
>Okay, what's your novel proposal(s) about then?
Encore! is about an assassination attempt on a respected musician in
the future
>--
>"Put him in the cur-ry!"
>
Mmmm, curry....
Best Wishes
John Pettigrew - ji...@cableinet.co.uk
"When it's spring again, I'll sing again, Talons of Weng-Chiang..."
John Pettigrew
"Paul 'Ozymandias' Harman" <oz...@kasterborus.demon.co.uk> clattered
away at the keyboard and came up with this:
>>Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
>
>The Death of Death.
You *bastard*, Sir!
And what, pray tell, is so bad about The Death of Death...
Mariane Desautels
>
> On Mon, 7 Dec 1998 15:25:02 -0000, the incredibly fluffy and wonderful
> "Paul 'Ozymandias' Harman" <oz...@kasterborus.demon.co.uk> clattered
> away at the keyboard and came up with this:
>
> >>Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
> >
> >The Death of Death.
>
> You *bastard*, Sir!
> And what, pray tell, is so bad about The Death of Death...
Ever watched "Xena"?...
Mariane
--
"let's blur the intentions / and smudge what it stands for / reserve
the pretentions / for those who judge what we dance for / let's get
pissed / and buck the system / get our psyche's kissed / while our
flesh is twistin / it's not very often this army recruits / so let's
go Dancing In Heavy Boots." -- Dalbello
Paul 'Ozymandias' Harman
John Pettigrew <ji...@cableinet.co.uk> wrote in message
news:367d3470...@news.cableinet.co.uk...
>On Mon, 7 Dec 1998 15:25:02 -0000, the incredibly fluffy and wonderful
>"Paul 'Ozymandias' Harman" <oz...@kasterborus.demon.co.uk> clattered
>away at the keyboard and came up with this:
>
>>>Come up with the worst title for any DW story.
>>
>>The Death of Death.
>
>You *bastard*, Sir!
>And what, pray tell, is so bad about The Death of Death...
Well, it hasn't got the plot of "Planet of the Evil Death", the
characterisation of the Doctor is far, far weaker than in "Death", and it's
got crummier enemies than "Banishment of the Daleks"
Ozzy
KJ Mobberley
: >Which band/artist would you like to see doing a version of the Doctor
: >Who theme for that upcoming totally cool film they're making that I've
: >just made up?
John Pettigrew <ji...@cableinet.co.uk> wrote:
: Erasure
Strange But True dept: Erasure very nearly did the theme for
'Dimensions in Time'. They were quite keen to do it apparantly, but by the
time they got back to JNT, the contracts with 'Cybertech' had already been
signed as no one thought Erasure would bother with it after the Pet Shop
Boys had told JNT to fuck off.
--
Korv.