NEW TOPIC: LEGION OF NET.HEROES

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Dan'l DanehyOakes

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Apr 29, 1992, 1:37:10 PM4/29/92
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In article <1992Apr27....@math.ucla.edu> she...@oak.math.ucla.edu (The Ahkond of Swat) writes:

>That's "Winsor McCay", no "d", no "K". I've seen two posts naming McCay
>on this thread, and both got the spelling wrong; so I saw my duty clear.
>
>-Ovyy Furezna, aka Spelling Boy of the LSH


Well.

I don't know about _that_, but I would like to propose that those who have
been active on this newsgroup some time may well be a Legion of their own. . .

the Legion of Net.Heroes.

We even have our own set of villains, who appear and vanish from time to time.
Probably the best candidate for net.arch.villain would be Omega.Mosely, who
vanishes and reappears with the same stochastic irregularity as a good Batman
villain. We've also had such perils as the Black Dude with the Hat, the
Fundamentalist Circle, and the Fagbashing Empire. . .

I don't want to propose noms du net.hero for others, but you've given your
own: Spelling Boy. Fair enough. The power is obvious also.

In his absence (sniff!), I'll propose that Jerry Boyajian be retconned as
Jayem Bee, a/k/a Bibliography Boy, whose power was the ability to answer any
obscure question.

Me? I guess I can join up as California Kid, whose power is to read comix
weeks after everyone else has discussed 'em. . .


You are trapped in that bright moment where you learned your doom.

Dan'l Danehy-Oakes, Net.Roach
My opinions do NOT represent Pacific Bell,
Professional Development, or anyone else.
But I'm willing to share.

Benjamin R Pierce

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Apr 30, 1992, 9:10:00 PM4/30/92
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In article <1992Apr29....@pbhyc.PacBell.COM>, djd...@PacBell.COM (Dan'l DanehyOakes) writes...

Gee...I'd like to sign up, but I'm not sure my power is unique enough. Due to
prolonged entrapment in the Fandom Zone (the area populated entirely by Marvel
Zombies and Fanboys), I have the power to recall virtually any Marvel plot, no
matter how hokey (I also have the power to radiate angst, another result of
prolonged Marvel exposure..."You don't understand! I've done horrible things
in my past, terrible things! I read the New Universe comics! I liked Byrne's
work on X-Men! (sob)"...)

My name? Marvel Zombie Lad, of course...


--B'en Pyris
(aka Ben Pierce)

Ted Faber

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May 1, 1992, 1:00:51 AM5/1/92
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>the Legion of Net.Heroes.
>
>We even have our own set of villains, who appear and vanish from time to time.
>Probably the best candidate for net.arch.villain would be Omega.Mosely, who
>vanishes and reappears with the same stochastic irregularity as a good Batman
>villain.

You know that's a damn good analogy. I can just see some
peace-loving harmless undergraduate that normally doesn't bother
anyone, and *bam* he get's hit on the head and OM returns. Kinda
like King Tut from the Batman series of the '60's.

>I don't want to propose noms du net.hero for others, but you've given your
>own: Spelling Boy. Fair enough. The power is obvious also.

Well, I guess this is Figment Lad, signing off. (My power is being
a figment of Gary Lewandowski's imagination).
>
>Dan'l Danehy-Oakes, Net.Roach

"Time will answer all questions.
Then, perhaps, a film will be shown." -- Tom Petty

--
Ted Faber Figment at Large fa...@loon.cs.wisc.edu
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
"The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit." -- Maugham
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

jjf...@skcla.monsanto.com

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May 1, 1992, 4:27:04 AM5/1/92
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I'll try out for the team (and I won't mind the
Legion.Substitoot-toot.net.heroes)

"The Forgetting One" -- I can never remember the damn artist/writer's name
until the next day. For instance:

Larry Stroman

(I was talking about artists not getting the glamor they deserve)

Ray Rich

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May 1, 1992, 3:45:34 PM5/1/92
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In article <1992Apr29....@pbhyc.PacBell.COM> djd...@PacBell.COM (Dan'l DanehyOakes) writes:
>In article <1992Apr27....@math.ucla.edu> she...@oak.math.ucla.edu (The Ahkond of Swat) writes:
>
>>That's "Winsor McCay", no "d", no "K". I've seen two posts naming McCay
>>on this thread, and both got the spelling wrong; so I saw my duty clear.
>>
>>-Ovyy Furezna, aka Spelling Boy of the LSH
>
>
>Well.
>
>I don't know about _that_, but I would like to propose that those who have
>been active on this newsgroup some time may well be a Legion of their own. . .
>
>the Legion of Net.Heroes.
>
>We even have our own set of villains, who appear and vanish from time to time.
>Probably the best candidate for net.arch.villain would be Omega.Mosely, who
>vanishes and reappears with the same stochastic irregularity as a good Batman
>villain. We've also had such perils as the Black Dude with the Hat, the
>Fundamentalist Circle, and the Fagbashing Empire. . .
>
>I don't want to propose noms du net.hero for others, but you've given your
>own: Spelling Boy. Fair enough. The power is obvious also.
>
>In his absence (sniff!), I'll propose that Jerry Boyajian be retconned as
>Jayem Bee, a/k/a Bibliography Boy, whose power was the ability to answer any
>obscure question.
>
>Me? I guess I can join up as California Kid, whose power is to read comix
>weeks after everyone else has discussed 'em. . .
>
>
> You are trapped in that bright moment where you learned your doom.
>
>Dan'l Danehy-Oakes, Net.Roach
>My opinions do NOT represent Pacific Bell,
>Professional Development, or anyone else.
>But I'm willing to share.

I nominate myself as Time-Waster Lad, as I have the uncanny ability
to turn what was supposed to be a mere check of my e-mail into hours of time
wasted reading this and other newsgroups.
:) ,
Raythrax

Maurice Beyke

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May 1, 1992, 5:31:54 PM5/1/92
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In article <1992May1.0...@acsu.buffalo.edu> v124...@ubvmsd.cc.buffalo.edu (Benjamin R Pierce) writes:
>In article <1992Apr29....@pbhyc.PacBell.COM>, djd...@PacBell.COM (Dan'l DanehyOakes) writes...
>>I don't know about _that_, but I would like to propose that those who have
>>been active on this newsgroup some time may well be a Legion of their own. . .
>>
>>the Legion of Net.Heroes.
>>I don't want to propose noms du net.hero for others, but you've given your
>>own: Spelling Boy. Fair enough. The power is obvious also.
>>
>>In his absence (sniff!), I'll propose that Jerry Boyajian be retconned as
>>Jayem Bee, a/k/a Bibliography Boy, whose power was the ability to answer any
>>obscure question.
>>
>>Me? I guess I can join up as California Kid, whose power is to read comix
>>weeks after everyone else has discussed 'em. . .
>>
>Gee...I'd like to sign up, but I'm not sure my power is unique enough. Due to
>prolonged entrapment in the Fandom Zone (the area populated entirely by Marvel
>Zombies and Fanboys), I have the power to recall virtually any Marvel plot, no
>matter how hokey (I also have the power to radiate angst, another result of
>prolonged Marvel exposure..."You don't understand! I've done horrible things
>in my past, terrible things! I read the New Universe comics! I liked Byrne's
>work on X-Men! (sob)"...)
>
>My name? Marvel Zombie Lad, of course...
>
Gosharootie, I don't know if I qualify as being active on the net (maybe
in the same time sense as a continent is techtonically active), but I have
to jump in here. I want to be your number one rival, the Human Torch to
your Spider-Man, etc...

Comics-Snob-Boy!!!!!!! (is that enough !'s?)

"How *DARE* you read anything other than _Cerebus_, _Love And Rockets_, or
anything done by Alan Moore? Now I must wallow in pathos for 14 issues
to show you the error of your ways (since, of course, I can't just start
a *fight*, oh heavens no!!).

I've finally found my purpose in life!
_____________________________________________________________________________
| __ / aka Maurice Beyke \ Disclaimer: Any opinions |
| / _) __ * __ / m...@batman.b11.ingr.com \ expressed are totally |
| /-( / ) /--\ / ( / bey...@infonode.ingr.com \ ludicrous, & should |
|/___)(__/ / / __)/ Surrealistic Ontologist \ be simply ignored. |
|____________________/_______________________________\______________________|

Ken Small

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May 1, 1992, 6:13:32 PM5/1/92
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Pompous Lad here; able to alienate even the most literate fellow readers
with harsh critiques, only to turn around and admit I like something
schlocky (complete with a rationalization about said schlock's cultural
or thematic importance). Example-- I find WATCHMEN a flawed work, yet
thoroughly enjoy Shooter's 60's Legion.
--
Ken Small
ke...@umich.edu
Consulting and Support Services, University of Michigan

Jacob Lesgold

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May 1, 1992, 6:25:14 PM5/1/92
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Well, I'm Super Apathy Lad, with the power to be tel-apathetic (I can not
care about something no matter HOW far away it is :-) and the secret
ID of Jayjay Cool-El (see .sig...)

--
JJ Cool L Sings With Cthulhu jles...@nwu.edu
"Cause it's too late now, the magic's lost
Too late now, the spell is broken
Too late now to count the cost of words that should remain...unspoken"
-- The Alan Parsons Project

Victoria C Fike

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May 2, 1992, 11:34:49 AM5/2/92
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Presenting...

Lurking Girl!!! Invisible to most net.worlders, only sensed by the sharpest of
psychics...

<trumpet fanfare as I crawl back under my rock for another year or two>

Tori

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Victoria C. Fike | "See, that's the deal we made,
vc...@cunixa.cc.columbia.edu | Just to join the oyster cult--
(define (ultimate-joy) | The Blue Oyster Cult!!"
(writeln "No more Scheme!!")) | --BOC
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ST0...@auvm.american.edu

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May 2, 1992, 4:43:56 PM5/2/92
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Just want to jump on and announce my presence as Procrastination Boy. The
only reason I started reading this net was because I have a major project
due in my Intro to Political Research class. I come down to the computer lab
to work on it, end up reading 100 post on R.A.C.. responding to a few and
then leaving without ever touching this project.
(Wow, a name and a Secret Origin (tm)!)
-Jason, a.k.a. Procrastination Boy, American University

Steve Simmons

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May 3, 1992, 10:30:13 AM5/3/92
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As Parking Karma Kid I can always find a parking space, usually right next
to the door. My plane flights always start and end on time. No superteam
should leave home without me.
--
``He has has been an evil man and ours and the world's enemy, but in
Valhalla all earthly enmities are put aside, for all who go there, so
it is said, are soon united in common hatred of the catering staff.'
-- Tom Holt, "Who's Afraid Of Beowulf?"

KALIBAK

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May 3, 1992, 12:28:59 PM5/3/92
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As Cheesecake-Eater Lad, I received my powers one night when I was working
in my lab on a solvent that develops limited super-powers such as super-plotz,
super-runs, and my patented super-saturated-fat particle beam. Unfortunately,
my wife was at the same time baking a lovely cheesecake for the Winchesters.
Our recipes got mixed up, and as I tried a slice A Hero Was Born (TM).

My powers are primarily bodily function related, but they are potent.

"And such it is as this, while the Dark Flan lies pummeled at my feet, have
the Gods cursed me, Condolia Boonspackle,
life known only to me as...Cheesecake-Eater Lad!"
-- C-ELad #3, 1962

P.S.: Power limitation: I need a slice every fifteen minutes or my body goes
to pot.

Vernon H Harmon

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May 3, 1992, 2:00:14 PM5/3/92
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Me? I'm generally known as Bad-Timing Boy, but some people know me as
Unlucky Lad. I have the uncanny ability to say exactly the wrong thing
at the wrong time. As Unlucky Lad, my power manifests in a number of
ways, usually by getting me into the wrong place at the wrong time (I
need to have my powers tested again soon, since I somehow managed to
avoid all of the riots this weekend and I've never been to LA---but then
again I *was* caught in an almost-flash flood yesterday) but sometimes
it just makes something happen that causes me to be late--just late
enough to cause problems. Fortunately, my power rarely effects others,
but sometimes it can--such as when someone is getting a ride with me, or
when the thing I say is something someone else told me.
As a side note, I'd like to apologize to any of you who might have had
the unfortunate experience of seeing my evil twin on one of those
occasions when he slips into my account unnoticed and runs rampant on
the net. He generally goes by the name Foot-In-Mouth Boy or Mis-Quote
Man. He has the ability to take anything I know and somehow mangle it so
that the facts are wrong. (I think he's currently considering changing
his name to Shoot-Off-At-The-Mouth Man)

--Vernon.

Vernon H Harmon

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May 3, 1992, 2:18:07 PM5/3/92
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Regarding the net.villains:

I can't believe nobody has mentioned the cult that has been silently
(ok, maybe not-so-silently) pervading our midst for quite some time
now--the Dunce Circle. All the members believe that their way is the
only way and nobody else could ever possibly be right. All the members
of the Circle wear full-face masks in an attempt to conceal their
identities, however, it also keeps them from being able to see the truth
that's right in front of their eyes (because they don't have eye-holes).
Remarkably, the Circle is constantly winning new net.recruits, but very
few of the Circle's members ever agree on anything, due to their staunch
belief that no one else's opinions matter.

--Vernon.

bam!

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May 3, 1992, 2:38:50 PM5/3/92
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Late-Night Lad signing in here, with the ability to stay awake for
ridiculously long stretches because I goof off when I should be doing
work during the daytime.

---
Bill Moakler | LPO 10280 PO Box 5064
rutgers!remus.rutgers.edu!moakler (UUCP) | New Brunswick, NJ 08903
moa...@remus.rutgers.edu (arpa) | [!RUTGERS ANIME!]
!ALLERGIC TO J-POP!

David Goldfarb

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May 3, 1992, 7:36:07 PM5/3/92
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In article <1992Apr29....@pbhyc.PacBell.COM> djd...@PacBell.COM (Dan'l DanehyOakes) writes:
)the Legion of Net.Heroes.
)
)We even have our own set of villains, who appear and vanish from time to time.
)Probably the best candidate for net.arch.villain would be Omega.Mosely, who
)vanishes and reappears with the same stochastic irregularity as a good Batman
)villain. We've also had such perils as the Black Dude with the Hat, the
)Fundamentalist Circle, and the Fagbashing Empire. . .

To give credit where credit is due, the Black Dude later reformed
(mostly) and joined the good guys.

As for me, I of course am Squid Boy. While I have no powers of
my own (though I'd make a good sidekick to Spelling Boy on natural talent),
I can lend my body to Suicide Squid when he needs a disguise. (It's sort
of the Congorilla thing in reverse.)

)Dan'l Danehy-Oakes, Net.Roach

--
David Goldfarb |
gold...@ocf.berkeley.edu | "Now both sides have protected passed Rooks."
gold...@UCBOCF.BITNET | -- GM Michael Rohde

Elisabeth Riba

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May 3, 1992, 8:23:50 PM5/3/92
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I will now reveal my own secret power as CATALYST LASS
I have the power to make others share my interests. [TRUE--I've
often introduced people to things I like and have gotten them more
addicted than I ever was.]
Besides, doesn't every universe need a felinoid female?

Miao, babe...

--
--------------->Elisabeth Anne Riba * l...@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu<--------------
It is said that the gods play games with the lives of men. But what games, and
why, and the identities of the actual pawns, and what the game is, and what the
rules are--who knows? Best not to speculate. Thunder rolled... It rolled a six.

bam!

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May 4, 1992, 12:42:03 AM5/4/92
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Any chance of someome collecting all these and posting the full
membership lists? Which ones of us will make the squad and not be be
relegated to the SUBSTITUTE LEGION OF NET.HEROES?

Late-Night Lad

Brian Perler

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May 4, 1992, 1:44:36 AM5/4/92
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Hmmm... If it's not taken, I'd like to be Obscure Trivia Lad, due to my
ability to remember the stupidest bits of trivia, but nothing of any
real importance to anyone on the planet. Or anything I need to know for
any of my classes. *Sigh*

Either that, or Question-Raythrax Lad. If that is his real name. (heh-heh)

Craig Thomas Judd

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May 4, 1992, 3:21:05 AM5/4/92
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Here's the Manga Man - unfortunately, I've been translated into English and
colorized. My powers have not diminished, however, and are mostly in the
realms of Special Effects and Timing. Whenever I perform a jump-kick, listen
closely for the "t'ching!". A single, well-placed blast of my laser rifle
will take out even the largest of enemy starships! And if my amazing combat
abilities don't get them, I can always run them through with the Speed Lines,
my Special Ability...

From the manga equivalent of an otaku...

Yours heroically;

--
\/\ "I can see the light! I'm saved!" Kaneda, AKIRA Book 2 /\/
====\/\ "You REFUSE to drink my wine...?" Kahm, Outlanders Vol. 2 /\/====
=====\/\ *** WANT ANY MANGA ARTWORK DONE? Just email me! *** /\/=====
\/\ cj...@esk.compserv.utas.edu.au a.k.a. Kuro to Shiroi /\/

jjf...@skcla.monsanto.com

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May 4, 1992, 5:04:17 AM5/4/92
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--

Shouldn't you have put this off till we went on to another discussion? ;^)

jjf...@skcla.monsanto.com
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I've got the money, and from time to time I have the time"
Joe Jackson, *Soul Kiss*

mamcc...@happy.colorado.edu

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May 4, 1992, 10:51:02 AM5/4/92
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All right. I guess I should add my nom-de-plume to the list. I go by
the name of Sidewinder. I start off by blasting my way into a topic,
but I eventually wind up on the sidelines.(No staying power with most of
the topics...)

Mark
mamcc...@uccs.edu

Steve Husty

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May 4, 1992, 11:24:16 AM5/4/92
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(Text Deleted) --> the gist of his post,

> > -Jason, a.k.a. Procrastination Boy


Jas,
Great idea, lets get around affiliations with other groups,
lets call it "Network Establishment of Worldwide Superheros" (NEWS).
Mine is "Incredible Unsleeping Man"

Jester

Doug Moran

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May 4, 1992, 1:24:18 PM5/4/92
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In article <31...@babcock.cerc.wvu.wvnet.edu>, husty@cathedral (Steve Husty) writes:
> Great idea, lets get around affiliations with other groups,
> lets call it "Network Establishment of Worldwide Superheros" (NEWS).
> Mine is "Incredible Unsleeping Man"

Hm, perhaps you and "Late-Night Lad" should start hanging out together.
--
Doug Moran | "Smithers, hand me that ice-cream scoop."
do...@hal.com | "Ice cream scoop? But sir!"
{...}!hal.com!dougm | "Damn it Smithers, this isn't rocket science;
HaL Computer Systems | it's brain surgery!"

The Ahkond of Swat

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May 4, 1992, 2:15:52 PM5/4/92
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The horror! I'll be remembered only for making a little joke (calling
myself Spelling Boy) which got out of hand! Just me and that guy who
typed "Suicide Squid"...


--
Bill Sherman S^1 `--> S^(2n+1) -->> CP^n she...@math.ucla.edu

Sobering sights I've seen in the city of angels.
-10,000 Maniacs

Citizen Conty

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May 4, 1992, 2:18:46 PM5/4/92
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In article <1992May4.0...@njitgw.njit.edu>, bxp...@hertz.njit.edu (Brian Perler) writes:
> Hmmm... If it's not taken, I'd like to be Obscure Trivia Lad, due to my
> ability to remember the stupidest bits of trivia, but nothing of any
> real importance to anyone on the planet.

No can do. Bibliograph Boy (Jayem Bee) had a similar power, but he dropped
out of the Legion. The Tygger (Gallo Way) is the current member with
trivia-related powers. Legion rules specify no duplicate powers, so you're
out of luck.

Wasn't this discussion topic floating around the last time I used
this .sig? Anyway, this was:
--
E n r i q u e C o n t y
The Incredible Man-With-No-Life
jes...@ihlpl.att.com
Disclaimer: You're not dealing with AT&T

Steve Husty

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May 4, 1992, 3:19:09 PM5/4/92
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In article <1992May4.1...@hal.com>, do...@hal.com (Doug Moran) writes:
> In article <31...@babcock.cerc.wvu.wvnet.edu>, husty@cathedral (Steve Husty) writes:

> Hm, perhaps you and "Late-Night Lad" should start hanging out together.
> --

Great idea Irony Man, except I already have an excellent boy blunder.

"Insomnia Boy"

His eys are a firey, blood shot red. His whining is enough to cause
the worst criminal to quit out of sheer disgust!!

Maurice Beyke

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May 4, 1992, 5:19:32 PM5/4/92
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In article <May.4.00.42....@romulus.rutgers.edu> moa...@romulus.rutger

s.edu (bam!) writes:
>Any chance of someome collecting all these and posting the full
>membership lists? Which ones of us will make the squad and not be be
>relegated to the SUBSTITUTE LEGION OF NET.HEROES?
>
>Late-Night Lad

Comics-Snob-Boy here, and on the job. I have collected all I received so
far, though my feed may have lost some over the weekend; none of my marked
files were still there today. I didn't receive any between The Forgetting
One (jjf...@skcla.monsanto.com) joining and when JCD (daike...@bvc.edu)
gave the augmented roguess gallery. I realize that doesn't mean a lot, since
messages arrive differently all over, but if you guys got a boat load between
them, then I probably missed them.

But, anyway, the roll call I have is:
Spelling Boy
Bibliography Boy
California Kid
Marvel Zombie Lad
Figment Lad
Comics-Snob-Boy
Time-Waster Lad
The Forgetting One
Lurking Girl
Procrastination Boy
Inacoustic Kid
Parking Karma Kid
Late-Night Lad
Cheesecake-Eater Lad
Bad-Timing Boy
Squid Boy
Catalyst Lass
Obscure Trivia Lad
Manga Man
Sidewinder
Incredible Unsleeping Man
Irony Man

Heroes all (well, some (okay, maybe one or two...)).

Scowling Jim Cowling

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May 4, 1992, 6:31:54 PM5/4/92
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In article <1992May4.0...@nuchat.sccsi.com> j...@nuchat.sccsi.com (James Henderson) writes:
>Marvel has always been the biggest company!!! So a few SINGLE titles from a
>few undergrounds/independents (who publish very few titles) have "made it",
>but that's as far as they go man! Action1 doubled from $30,000 to 60,000 in
>the past 5 years!!!

I defy you to find a book from 1977 other than Cerebus which is worth $225.00.
I also defy you to find a 1984 book (other than TMNT) which is worth $300.00.
>"What about Cerebus?"? Well, if you look in the latest Overstreet, it says
>$225.00- (the minus sign is BAD NEWS). And I personally don't like B&W that
>much...if a comic (and its company) have "made it" then they should be able
>to afford COLOR...I like using my rods & cones.

Some books SHOULDN'T use colour. Some art is best in black-and-white:
Newspaper strips, TMNT, Tick, Cerebus. I'm rarely happy with their conversions
to colour. Also consider that the above titles' publishers have the cash
to easily move to colour, but haven't. Why? Artistic choice.

>By the way, is Cerebus a Canadian comic book? How about Malibu publishing?
>(just wondering...) Do you Canadian guys get Marvel titles up there???
>

Cerebus is a Canadian book. Malibu is a US company. Canada gets the same
books as the States, and at the same time (Wednesday and Thursday the same week
as you-all). Actually, most of them are printed in Canada, and as such,
Canadian distributors are often able to ship them faster than US distributors.

(I also hereby nominate James Henderson as the net.villain One.Track.Mind.Lad
and myself as the net.antihero Impatient.Kid)

-------
Scowling Jim Cowling
Creative Writing Department, University of Victoria
Opinions Disassociated
BASKING IN THE ATOMIC AFTERGLOW - my new chapbook - $2.50 - e-mail for details
-------

have clue, will travel...

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May 4, 1992, 7:42:04 PM5/4/92
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announcing the birth of a new hero...

Multi-Tasking Lad.

Powers: an uncanny ability to post to USENet, read e-Mail,
play netrek and read old Flaming Carrot issues (1-15) AT THE
SAME TIME ...

(also, the power to vanish completely from the face of the earth
every five months or so. usually around semester's end.
That's funny, my schedule says tomorrow is the... *poof!*)

--
----------jeff the wonder llama, jec...@eos.ncsu.edu
------"I am a penis. Worship me."--lead singer of rock band Bicycle Face,
vainly attempting to gain attention of the crowd at the Cat's Cradle
in Chapel Hill, while opening for Mojo Nixon & The Toad Liquors

Stephen Hutchison

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May 4, 1992, 7:51:51 PM5/4/92
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Having reviewed my contribution to this group, starting back when it
was net.comics (and I started the Very First anti-Marvel flamewar),
I must take my place as The Invisible Incendiary. Invisible because
I post seldom, incendiary because I seem to have this uncontrollable
ability to set off flamewars wherever I post.

Hutch (II)

Jeffrey Klein

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May 4, 1992, 8:46:43 PM5/4/92
to
In article <1992May4.2...@infonode.ingr.com> bey...@infonode.ingr.com (Maurice Beyke) writes:
>
> But, anyway, the roll call I have is:

[list of heroic individuals to great to repeat]

Well, I'm going to throw my hat into the ring...

Yes, I, Wrsserl Xyrva, of the planet of Don'gottalottamoney, use my
natural powers to become...

BROWSING BOY! With the ability to read Sandman, Hepcats, and Savage Henry
while standing in front of the comic rack (causing mere mortal store
owners to wonder "Am I working in some sort of demented library where
people read books but never buy anything? *") and walk out with
GREEN LANTERN and a free DC flyer!

(*) This actually happened to my brother, Joseph Klein, but it's a
great quote.

--
Jeff Klein | "I *love* Jell-o! I love the way Jell-o wiggles in
| my hands! I *LOVE* the taste of *JELL-O*!!!!!"
kl...@kira.egr.msu.edu | -W. Axl Rose

And for this my folks shell out 15K/year

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May 4, 1992, 9:58:25 PM5/4/92
to

writes
> In article <1992Apr29....@pbhyc.PacBell.COM>, djd...@PacBell.COM
(Dan'l DanehyOakes) writes...
> >In article <1992Apr27....@math.ucla.edu> she...@oak.math.ucla.edu
(The Ahkond of Swat) writes:
> >
> >Well.
> >
> >I don't know about _that_, but I would like to propose that those who have
> >been active on this newsgroup some time may well be a Legion of their own. .

> >
> >the Legion of Net.Heroes.

> >
> >We even have our own set of villains, who appear and vanish from time to
time.
> >Probably the best candidate for net.arch.villain would be Omega.Mosely, who
> >vanishes and reappears with the same stochastic irregularity as a good
Batman
> >villain. We've also had such perils as the Black Dude with the Hat, the
> >Fundamentalist Circle, and the Fagbashing Empire. . .
> >
> >I don't want to propose noms du net.hero for others, but you've given your
> >own: Spelling Boy. Fair enough. The power is obvious also.
> >
> >In his absence (sniff!), I'll propose that Jerry Boyajian be retconned as
> >Jayem Bee, a/k/a Bibliography Boy, whose power was the ability to answer any
> >obscure question.
> >
> >Me? I guess I can join up as California Kid, whose power is to read comix
> >weeks after everyone else has discussed 'em. . .
> >
> >
> > You are trapped in that bright moment where you learned your doom.
> >
> >Dan'l Danehy-Oakes, Net.Roach
> >My opinions do NOT represent Pacific Bell,
> >Professional Development, or anyone else.
> >But I'm willing to share.
>
>
>
>
>
> Gee...I'd like to sign up, but I'm not sure my power is unique enough. Due
to
> prolonged entrapment in the Fandom Zone (the area populated entirely by
Marvel
> Zombies and Fanboys), I have the power to recall virtually any Marvel plot,
no
> matter how hokey (I also have the power to radiate angst, another result of
> prolonged Marvel exposure..."You don't understand! I've done horrible things
> in my past, terrible things! I read the New Universe comics! I liked
Byrne's
> work on X-Men! (sob)"...)
>
> My name? Marvel Zombie Lad, of course...
>
>
> --B'en Pyris
> (aka Ben Pierce)

OK...so, here's my application for membership. Fortunately I already
come with a really neat "other" name (check the .sig, stupid). As for my
power: I like to think of it as the ability to come up with a perfectly good,
rational, and, on occasion, entertaining explanation for the stupid plotlines
and plot devices Marvel (and other...) writers employ nearly constantly. (This
is regardless of whether or not that's how THEY explain it. I like to think of
it as "Theoretical Superiority".)

(I STILL like my "The Dark Phoenix Returns" explanation for the
X-Traitor, anyway...make a hell of a great storyline...)

--
+------------------------------------------v------------------------+
|Doctor Stomper (aka T. M. Neeck) | |
|NeXT: tne...@math.macalstr.edu | Isaac Asimov |
|VAX: tne...@mac.cc.macalstr.edu | 1920--1992 |
|DISCLAIMER: I'm Too Sexy For Opinions... | |
>------------------------------------------^------------------------<
|WARNING: This message will decay into its component quarks 12.2 |
| seconds after you finish reading it. So hurry up. |
>-------------------------------------------------------------------<
|Macalester College doesn't neccesarily hold these opinions. Which |
| is OK, since I sure as hell don't hold theirs. And in some|
| cases, I don't even hold these. So nyah. |
+-------------------------------------------------------------------+

Rebecca Drayer

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May 4, 1992, 11:14:52 PM5/4/92
to
And now...just returned from Science Hill... it's Organic Lass!!!
This remarkable hero has the ability to memorize hundreds of chemical
reactions... and then forget them all five minutes after the exam!!!
Simply amazing!


*************************************************************************
Rebecca A. Drayer, EMT | Reb...@Yalevm.Ycc.Yale.edu
P.O. Box 6349 Yale Station | Computing Assistant
New Haven, CT 06520 | Silliman College, Yale University

Pre-med and proud of it!
*************************************************************************


P.S. (For the blissfully uninformed, science hill is the place (half a mile
away from the rest of the campus buildings) where they banish all the
science geeks. :) )

john wesley donald

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May 4, 1992, 11:50:34 PM5/4/92
to
Assuming that Magneto is really dead, who is the most powerful mutant alive?
Personally, I don't know. Some of the mutants who might seem to be the 'most
powerful' include Gidion, Jean Gray, Havok, Storm, Mr.Sinister, Polaris,...
I'd probably make it a toss up between Sinister and Gid.
John D.

Foolish Elmos

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May 5, 1992, 1:13:28 AM5/5/92
to
Label me Frothing-at-the-Mouth Lad (for my stance wrt T&M Bierbaum on
LSH) or Annotation Child (for my major net contribution, the Annotated
Sandman, which, BTW, I have INVARIABLY used the correct keyword for in the
subject lines).
--
"The use of unnecessary force in the apprehension of the Blues Brothers has
been approved."

elmo (mor...@physics.rice.edu,mor...@fnal.fnal.gov)

SCAVENGER

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May 5, 1992, 1:38:19 AM5/5/92
to
In article <1992May5.0...@midway.uchicago.edu> jw...@midway.uchicago.edu writes:
>Assuming that Magneto is really dead, who is the most powerful mutant alive?

>I'd probably make it a toss up between Sinister and Gid.

I don't think Gideon is that powerful, just really versitile. He beat the
New Warriors 'cause he could combine powers and use them at the fullest
potential(ala Speedball). I figure Rachel/Phoenix would toast him.

I agree that MR. S probably is one of the most powerful (we haven't seen it but
He probably is) along with Apocalypse, Rachel, Havok and Boom Boom.

------SCAVENGER

just kidding about Boom Boom. :-)


--
If some unemployed punk in New Jersey, can |kog...@ucsu.colorado.edu <-I.NET
get a cassette to make love to Elle McPherson |
for $19.95, this virtual reality stuff is going|No matter where you go,
to make crack look like Sanka. - Dennis Miller| there you are."-Buckaroo Banzai

Andrew Farrell

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May 5, 1992, 4:25:16 AM5/5/92
to

>Assuming that Magneto is really dead, who is the most powerful mutant alive?

Assuming my sandwiches can really talk...

>Personally, I don't know. Some of the mutants who might seem to be the 'most
>powerful' include Gidion, Jean Gray, Havok, Storm, Mr.Sinister, Polaris,...
>I'd probably make it a toss up between Sinister and Gid.
>John D.

I'd vote for Magneto's arch-enemy, Prof X.

Andrew.

Michael Lee Jacobs

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May 5, 1992, 9:23:21 AM5/5/92
to
afar...@unix1.tcd.ie (Andrew Farrell) writes:

>>Assuming that Magneto is really dead, who is the most powerful mutant alive?

>Assuming my sandwiches can really talk...

>>Personally, I don't know. Some of the mutants who might seem to be the 'most
>>powerful' include Gidion, Jean Gray, Havok, Storm, Mr.Sinister, Polaris,...
>>I'd probably make it a toss up between Sinister and Gid.
>>John D.

>I'd vote for Magneto's arch-enemy, Prof X.


Good Lord Why... Although Prof X is always touted as the worlds
most powerful telepath, he very rarely actually does much except act
as a behind the scenes leader with a psychology degree, or to be a
target of extreme angst. Yuo dont have to be powerful to do what he does
best.

My Vote goes for the above mentioned plus--get the flames out--
Dazzler. Just think about it, were she written properly the more sound
a battle makes the more power she has to wreck things which leads us right
back to more sound. Add a Banshee in the near vicinity and she should
go up with exponential growth. (and maybe focus it with Bishop..hmmm)

All total Rachel wins for the Deus ex Machina factor.

--
"If the best things in life are free, then my current price is
$37k with a 10% downpayment."

Brian Perler

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May 5, 1992, 10:46:01 AM5/5/92
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In article <1992May4.1...@cbnewsl.cb.att.com> co...@cbnewsl.cb.att.com (Citizen Conty) writes:
>In article <1992May4.0...@njitgw.njit.edu>, bxp...@hertz.njit.edu (Brian Perler) writes:
>> Hmmm... If it's not taken, I'd like to be Obscure Trivia Lad, due to my
>> ability to remember the stupidest bits of trivia, but nothing of any
>> real importance to anyone on the planet.
>
>No can do. Bibliograph Boy (Jayem Bee) had a similar power, but he dropped
>out of the Legion. The Tygger (Gallo Way) is the current member with
>trivia-related powers. Legion rules specify no duplicate powers, so you're
>out of luck.

No, no, no. My power doesn't deal with IMPORTANT trivia. I can recall
useless trivia at any point, until someone else has need of it. Then
it usually hides in some dark corner of my brain where I can't find it
until an hour later. Much different. Besides, if the LSH has
duplicate power rules, how do you explain Lighning Lad/Lightning Lass,
Superboy/Supergirl/Mon-El/Ultra Boy/etc., and some others that my power
is currently preventing me from recalling at the moment.

And for this my folks shell out 15K/year

unread,
May 5, 1992, 12:25:17 PM5/5/92
to

writes

AAARRRGGGHHH! What is this?!? Must've lost me...I seem a little hard
to remember these days, on Usenet anyhow...I wonder about the integrity of
Mac's Newsfeed.

Hmm...a second Identity, as well as my established one? YES! I shall
become--FORGOTTEN MAN! (Or maybe I already have, I forget...)

Maurice Beyke

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May 5, 1992, 12:26:15 PM5/5/92
to
Oh no you don't, you disease ridden piece of lying, verminous fanboy filth;
you may fool the rest of this adolescent, power-tripping, spandex worshipping
newsgroup, but you can't confuse the likes of Comics-Snob-Boy. You're just
like the rest of the cretinous slobs who wouldn't know a real piece of comics
art if you were bitten by a radioactive Gary Groth. You're all a lot of
leprous, mutated smegma just wallowing in the four-color filth of your
superhero ghetto. I want to eviscerate the lot of you.

Gosh, maybe he really does cause flamewars whenever he posts!

michael kelly

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May 5, 1992, 12:48:04 PM5/5/92
to

bey...@infonode.ingr.com (Maurice Beyke) writes:

How can you have forgotten me, Myk-El! Sure, I may have been banished to
the Graduate School Zone for 1000 years; True, this experience has driven me
insane from time to time; Yes, my one true weakness is metallic foil covers;
but does that mean that I have been retconned out of the continuity?!?!

--
+ Mike Kelly, Notre Dame Department of Physics +
+ +
+ mke...@happy.helios.nd.edu If you crumple your money into little +
+ mke...@undhe5.hep.nd.edu balls, it will never stick together. +

KJS

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May 5, 1992, 1:49:25 PM5/5/92
to

>In article <1992May5.0...@midway.uchicago.edu> jw...@midway.uchicago.edu writes:
>>Assuming that Magneto is really dead, who is the most powerful mutant alive?

>I agree that MR. S probably is one of the most powerful (we haven't seen it but


>He probably is) along with Apocalypse, Rachel, Havok and Boom Boom.

>just kidding about Boom Boom. :-)

Whew! Ya had me goin' for a sec there! 0-}

How about Prof. X? Isn't he supposed to be the most powerful mortal telepath
or something? Or perhaps Rogue? With her invulnerability and all of that
other stuff, she's got quite a lot of power. Of course, she isn't exactly
the most dangerous mutant, but that's something different. Mr. Sinister
would probably eat her alive in a fight.

Also, isn't Cyclops more powerful than Havoc? I have no idea, but this is
something my friend told me way back (about 10 years ago), when he introduced
me to the X-Men. Something to do with his being the older brother or something
like that...

Excuse my ignorance, I really don't read X-Men much.


* * * * * * * * * * ** ** *** **** ****** *********
Jesse Chang (KJS) e-mail: usl...@mcl.mcl.ucsb.edu *
"-.-- -.-- --.." "Technology - high, on the leading edge of life." -Rush *
* * * * * * * * * ** ** *** **** ****** ********

Dani Zweig

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May 5, 1992, 2:43:04 PM5/5/92
to
bey...@infonode.ingr.com (Maurice Beyke) writes:
|> But, anyway, the roll call I have is:

Let's see if we can work backwards from the name to the power:

|> Spelling Boy -- A male equivalent of the White Witch
|> Bibliography Boy -- A reality-altering power
|> California Kid -- This is hard. Could one deduce Saturn Girl's
powers from her name?
|> Marvel Zombie Lad -- Can raise the dead
|> Figment Lad -- A male equivalent of Mirage
|> Comics-Snob-Boy -- Like Cosmic Boy, he collects artifacts from
the 20th century. Obviously leadership material.
|> Time-Waster Lad -- Minor time-travel abilities: forward only.
|> The Forgetting One -- Able to induce amnesia
|> Lurking Girl -- Camouflage powers
|> Procrastination Boy -- Able to cloud men's minds and cause them
to forget whatever they were about to do.
|> Inacoustic Kid -- What Shadow Girl does to light he does to sound.
|> Parking Karma Kid -- Can always find a parking spot. Useful in
emergencies, but otherwise Substitute Hero fodder.
|> Late-Night Lad -- A male equivalent of Night Girl (Lass?)
|> Cheesecake-Eater Lad -- A considerably toned-down version of
Matter-Eater Lad's powers. Can eat anything, as long
as it's cheesecake. Limited utility. Subs' Auxilliary.
|> Bad-Timing Boy -- Able to scramble an opponent's reflexes.
|> Squid Boy -- Like the Weirdo Legionnaire, but with more arms
and fewer heads. Useful against berserk robots.
|> Catalyst Lass -- Like Chemical King, without the ability to *slow*
reactions. Substitutes again.
|> Obscure Trivia Lad -- Able to obscure small but important facts
from people's attention.
|> Manga Man -- Able to rip phonebooks in half, and has the personality
to match. Sort of like the Thing.
|> Sidewinder -- Shoots poison darts from his fingernails.
|> Incredible Unsleeping Man -- An experiment linked the hemispheres
of his brain in such a manner as to multiply his
intelligence ten-fold. Unfortunately, it also
destroyed his ability to sleep, so he hallucinates
a lot.
|> Irony Man -- Like Iron Man -- but only sort of.

-----
Dani Zweig
da...@netcom.com

The surface of the strange, forbidden planet was roughly textured and green,
much like cottage cheese gets way after the date on the lid says it is all
right to buy it.--Scott Jones

gary michael feldman

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May 5, 1992, 3:01:29 PM5/5/92
to
Polaris: I've stated before that her powers SHOULD
be along the lines of Maggs, but the way she's being written,
all she can do is act like a refrigerator magnet!

Boom Boom - was this a joke?

Mr. Sinister - just what ARE his powers?????

Jean grey: I've said several tiems that I think she is the
most powerful. She can replicate most of Magneto's
powers using TK and she has telepathy to boot!!!

Jason Graff

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May 5, 1992, 4:16:28 PM5/5/92
to

Just out of curiosity, what about whats-his-face, Colussus' brother??
Wasn't the description accompanying the scene where he closed the hole
between universes something to the effect that he was channeling power
enough to destroy several of them??

Of course, there's always FRANKLIN RICHARDS!!!

Vernon H Harmon

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May 5, 1992, 4:51:23 PM5/5/92
to
>
Some of the mutants who might seem to be the 'most
powerful' include Gidion, Jean Gray, Havok, Storm, Mr.Sinister, Polaris,...
I'd probably make it a toss up between Sinister and Gid.
>

Sorry. I'd have to disagree here. The most powerful mutant around now is
Apocalypse. Only problem being that he's so powerful, that no one can
really write him competently, and so he's not around anywhere. IMHO,
Apocalypse is to Merry Marvel's Mighty Mutants what the Time Trapper was
to DC's LSH--way beyond anybody's ability to defeat, but somehow they
do.......

--Vernon.

The Ahkond of Swat

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May 5, 1992, 5:25:36 PM5/5/92
to
In article <##dkxmm...@netcom.com> da...@netcom.com (Dani Zweig) writes:

>bey...@infonode.ingr.com (Maurice Beyke) writes:
>Let's see if we can work backwards from the name to the power:

>|> Spelling Boy -- A male equivalent of the White Witch

Okay, okay, who leaked the photo? }8^)

--
Bill Sherman S^1 `--> S^(2n+1) -->> CP^n she...@math.ucla.edu

"Thank you very much, and I hope we passed the audition."
- John Lennon, after the Beatles' "Get Back" rooftop concert

Rick Jones

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May 5, 1992, 6:28:56 PM5/5/92