LNH: Descent Chapter 1
CXMP
| | ULTIMATE NINJA! DEJA DUDE! OBSCURE TRIVIA LAD!
| | =
| | ____ ____ _ ____ ___
THE | |__ | [] | | [] | | | | [] | | _ \
|____| \__] \__ | |_| \__/ |_|\_\
||
|_| OF NET.HEROES
#63 -- Descent: Chapter 1
On the surface of Titan, Saturn's largest moon, a Cascader puts together
some electronic equipment.
"It's ready. We should be able to receive signals from Earth."
"Make it so!" said a mysterious dark figure.
The device is activated.
<<E.T. phone home! E.T. phone home!>>
"Try another frequency!"
<<Welcome back to Net.ropolis AM Live!>>
"We're now receiving the Net.News.Network."
The dark figure smiled. "Excellent! Let's see what we can learn
about Obscure Trivia Lad!"
Meanwhile, in Master Blaster's quarters in Legion Headquarters:
"I picked this up at Net.ropolis comics." Master Blaster hands it to
Deja Dude.
"Hmm. 'Lifesize Inflatatable Psylocke Action Figure'."
Master Blaster smiled.
"'Enjoy hours of fun with your Psylocke Action Figure!' Hmm. Sounds
awfully suggestive to me."
"Doesn't it though!"
Back on Titan:
"Our transmat tubes are irrepairably damaged. We can send Cascaders
to Earth but we can't bring them back, let alone our quarry."
The mysterious dark figure smiled. "There is a way."
Back in Legion Headquarters, Obscure Trivia Lad reads usenet off his
terminal.
"Obscure Trivia Lad *still* can't get alt.comics.lnh. Obscure Trivia
Lad feels a bit pissed off."
Two Cascaders appear. Obscure Trivia Lad gets up and assumes a
defensive pose, his back against a wall. One of the Cascaders runs
towards him. He moves out of the way, causing the Cascader to hit the
wall behind him and collapse. His companion knells by his side.
"You've killed him!"
"Obscure Trivia Lad didn't touch him. Obscure Trivia Lad just stepped
out of the way."
"Yes but as a result of your action, he's now dead!"
"Obscure Trivia Lad is sorry."
"No you're not! You enjoyed seeing him die! You enjoy inflicting
pain!"
"Obscure Trivia Lad does not enjoy inflicting pain. That being said,
it is no business of Obscure Trivia Lad what two consenting adult
Cascaders do in the privacy of their own cube."
_This isn't working_, the Cascader thought. _I must try a different
approach_. "You were killed once yourself, we'ren't you?"
Obscure Trivia Lad nodded. "Back when I was human."
"How did it happen?"
Obscure Trivia Lad sighed. "A team of Legionaires was in
alt.fan.dan.quayle when we were ambushed by Pointless Death Man.
Ultimate Ninja managed to save all but Obscure Trivia Lad."
"Ultimate Ninja left you for dead?"
Obscure Trivia Lad didn't answer.
_Ah! That's it! Now: to use the Emotion Chip provided by The One to
amplify the hostility that Obscure Trivia Lad is bound to feel towards
Ultimate Ninja._ "The same Ultimate Ninja who now leads the Legion?"
"Yes."
The Cascader smiled. "You'd like to see Ultimate Ninja dead,
wouldn't you?"
Obscure Trivia Lad hesitated before answering. "Yes!"
Soon, in the Central Command Centre are Ultimate Ninja, CheeseCake
Eater Lad, Sig.Lad, wReamHack and Netiquette Lad. Ultimate Ninja looks
impatient.
"Alright, where's Obscure Trivia Lad?!"
"I'll go see if he's in his quarters," suggested wReamHack.
Ultimate Ninja nodded. "Alright but be quick!"
Meanwhile, in the Flight Thingee Launch Bay, Bicycle Repair Lad spots
two suspicious looking characters.
"Oi! What're you up to?" He moved closer to investigate. "Oh!
Excuse me, Mr. Trivia Lad, Sir, I didn't recognise you. Is this a new
Legionaire?"
"Hardly," replied Obscure Trivia Lad, getting into the vehicle.
"Yes, well ... I take it you'll be taking a ride in this Flight
Thingee then?"
"Yes! Begone!" Obscure Trivia Lad waited until his companion had
entered and closed the hatch behind him.
"I say! How rude!"
The Flight Thingee takes off taking Obscure Trivia Lad with it.
TO BE CONTINUED!!!
Martin Phipps aka Deja Dude The CeLiNeFan
Call for votes for rec.arts.comics.creative is coming September 16th.