LNH/RACCies/TEB: Just Imagine Saxon Brenton Presents the RACCies... Again! - Trade Etherback

[Saxon Brenton]

[LNH/RACCies/TEB] Just Imagine Saxon Brenton Presents the RACCies... Again! - Trade Etherback

This trade etherback collects the the second 'Just Imagine...'
chaotic add-on cascade. It contains the five parts of the _Just Imagine
Saxon Brenton Presents the RACCies... Again!_ story from 2006. The full
sequence to date is:
* Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's RACCies! [2005]
* Just Imagine Saxon Brenton Presents the RACCies... Again! [2006]
* Just Imagine... Saxon Brenton's RACCies on a Plane Filled with
Killer Ninja Gorillas! [2007]
* Just Imagine Saxon Brenton vs. Andrew Perron in the Return of
the RACCies! [2009]


#1 - Jesse Willey
#2 - Tom Russell
#3 - Adrian McClure
#4 - Arthur Spitzer
#5 - Adrian McClure


[1]
From: <cabbage...@yahoo.com>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Subject: [RACCies] Just Imagine Saxon Brenton Presents the Raccies..... AGAIN!
Date: Wed, 4 Jan 2006 02:45:08 +0000 (UTC)
Lines: 34

Retcon Lad felt in festering inside him. It had been there
since the virus thing last year. Or maybe it hadn't. Maybe it was
originally nothing but was now always was even though it wasn't. It
didn't matter.
For weeks his powers hadn't been working. He didn't know why.
His cellphone wrang. He picked it up.
"Hello... Retcon Lad?" the voice said.
"Yes?" he asked.
"This is Pointless Awards Man IV: The Voyage Home.... I come from
the future. Our mutual friend says 'It is time'" the man on the phone
said.
"For what?"
"One of those things you ended up cleaning up after for months," the
voice said. "Or was others would call it...."

Just Imagine...... Saxon Brenton Presents the Raccies AGAIN!
Or
The House of B

Retcon Lad's face went blank.
"Sounds great!" Retcon Lad said. "What's it about?"
"Well..." said PAMIV:TVH.

________________________________

Who is Pointless Awards Man IV: The Voyage Home?
Who is his employer?
What part does Retcon Lad play in his plan?
That's not not my job... find some other bum.


[2]
From : Tom Russell <milos_...@yahoo.com>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Subject: [RACCies/APE] Just Imagine Saxon Brenton Presents the Raccies..... AGAIN! # 2, an Apes Month Tie-In
Date: Sat, 28 Jan 2006 22:23:27 +0000 (UTC)
Lines: 136

JUST IMAGINE SAXON BRENTON
PRESENTS THE RACCIES... AGAIN! # 2
An Apes Month Tie-In
by TOM RUSSELL

The Weevil Mastermind sat before his bank on
monitors, watching... well, he didn't actually sit.
Weevils don't quite sit, they just kind of lay there.
At any rate, he lay on his belly, blinking and
watching his bank of monitors attentively.
Wait. Do weevils blink? Do they even have
eyelids? Well, that's not important. Either he did
blink or he didn't, in which case he expressed his
intent interest through some other, more
weevil-friendly method. If, in fact, said method
weevils have.
The point was, the Weevil Mastermind at that moment
bore witness in some weevil-like manner to the events
of our last issue, through a tiny camera that the
Weevil Mastermind had personally installed on the
person of Pointless Awards Man IV: The Voyage Home.
Unfortunately, being a Weevil, he had only managed
to install the camera under Pointless Awards Man IV:
The Voyage Home's toe-nail. And the rapscallion in
question had his shoe on, which effectively prevented
the Weevil Mastermind from seeing what was on the
monitor-- if eyes weevil have to see it anyway. And
the shoe severly muffled the audio transmission.
But one got the gist of it. PAM 4 was calling
Retcon Lad to tell him that it was time.
"What surrendipitous luck," said the Weevil
Mastermind-- and yes, I'm fairly certain that weevils
cannot speak, but this is a case warranting suspension
of disbelief. "This fits in perfectly with my plans.
And now, to see that they come to fruition, I summon,
the Haiku Gorilla!"

--

LNHHQ--CAFETERIA
"Ultimate Ninja,"
says the old ape, urgently,
"Please pass the salt." ZAP!

--

The gorilla was transported instantaneously to the
Weevil Mastermind's hide-out, the House of Bertrand
Weevil. Yes, friends, Bertrand Weevil, long thought
merely a social gadabout, who in actuality is... the
Weevil Mastermind.
Unfortunately, Haiku Gorilla did not survive the
transportation. "Oh, crap," said the Weevil
Mastermind. "What am I going to do with a dead
gorilla?"
You could use it as a hat-rack.
"No, what am *I* going to do with a dead gorilla?
I'm a weevil for god's sake!"
Well, you should have thought of that before.

--

The Weevil Mastermind would be rubbing his chin in
malicious thought, if he possessed a chin. Or a hand,
for that matter. Though a hand was not specified in
the first sentence. So it could be any appendage,
really, or even some kind of scratching post, or the
desk on which he sat... er, lay.
Just then, a Shadowy Figure entered. The room was
well-lit, but the Figure's features could not be made
out. Perhaps this character is someone we know!
Perhaps this mysterious shrouding of his identity is
only to heighten suspense and create "buzz". Fanboys
the world over will debate and offer theories, using
time, energy, and thought that would be better suited
to finding employment. And then, when his identity is
revealed in a special anniversary issue, the world (or
the small portion of it made up of comic-book readers)
will heave a sigh of extreme disappointment. What a
lame twist revelation!
"Actually, no," said the Figure. "It's a medical
condition, and I'd thank you kindly not to mention it.
As for you, Weevil Mastermind!"
"Yes, yes, here I am."
"Where?"
"I'm on the desk."
"Right." The Shadowy Figure bent forward.
"Where...?"
"To your left. Your other left."
"Right."
"No, left. What do you want, anyway?"
"I am here to end this charade."
"What charade?"
"I mean, cascade. It is my sacred destiny to
thwart JUST IMAGINE SAXON BRENTON PRESENTS THE
RACCIES... AGAIN!"
"But why? It's such an interesting, original idea
for a cascade. I mean, a cascade about the RACCies!
This kind of thing only happens once in a life-time!
It's such an incredible idea, it has such novelty!"
The Shadowy Figure sighed and squooshed the Weevil
Mastermind with his finger.
"That's one plot thread taken care of," said the
Shadowy Figure. "But the introduction of Haiku
Gorilla poses a problem. No doubt, the Legion will
investigate his disappearance... and, should they find
his body, his death. Such a mystery would drag the
cascade on. And with every new episode, there's a
chance for another subplot. Another thread to sever.
"I'm going to have to cut this off at the pass,"
said the Shadowy Figure. "I must dispose of the body
in such a way that not even the famed Deductive Logic
Man can deduce its whereabouts. For should the
cascade story JUST IMAGINE SAXON BRENTON PRESENTS THE
RACCIES... AGAIN reach its twelfth installment, the
Looniverse Itself shall be faced with grave peril!"

TO BE CONTINUED BY... SOMEONE ELSE!

BE HERE NEXT TIME FOR...

"Who Killed Haiku Gorilla?"
~or~
"Issue Number Three"

The Ultimate Ninja is wReam's. PAM IV, I think, is
Willey's. Everyone else was my creation, given to
Public Domain.

(C) 2006 Tom Russell


[3]
From: "Adrian James McClure" <lord_sold...@yahoo.com>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative,alt.comics.lnh
Subject: [RACCies] Just Imagine Saxon Brenton Presents the Raccies... Again #3
Date: Wed, 29 Mar 2006 02:33:59 +0000 (UTC)
Lines: 355

Because YOU demanded it (well, OK, no one actually demanded it, but
someone had to explain what happened to Haiku Gorilla's body so that he
could be brought back properly), it's the return of:

Just Imagine Saxon Brenton Presents the Raccies... Again! #3
"Who Killed Haiku Gorilla?"
or
"Issue Number Three"
by Adrian James McClure

***

"So you were saying?" said Retcon Lad. "What is this supposed to
be about?"
"Well," said Pointless Awards Man IV: The Voyage Home, "as I was
saying before I was so rudely interrupted by a subplot, this cascade
will be about..."

***

The Shadowy Figure, who is probably not the same as any other
mysterious cosmic lurking-in-the-shadows kind of people that may have
appeared in anything I wrote, though you never know, stroked their chin
in a mysterious and thoughtful manner. "Hmm," the Figure said. "How
shall I dispose of this body in a manner that will prevent the LNH from
ever figuring out who murdered him? It would make logical sense to
hide it somewhere in the middle of nowhere where no one would bother to
look... No, that would be too obvious. I have to use reverse
psychology. I know! I'll dump it in the LNH Cafeteria! They'll never
think of that! Then the universe will be safe... So that I can have
my revenge on the LNH for the death of my daughter, Captain Killfile!"
Wait a minute, since when was the Shadowy Figure Captain Killfile's
mother?
"Since I gave birth to her, you idiot!"
But weren't you a man just last issue? I could swear Tom Russell
referred to "his finger" when you killed the Weevil Mastermind.
"That was obviously a mistake. Everywhere else he went out of his
way to avoid referring to me by a gendered pronoun. Now, as I was about
to say before I was interrputed, I shall use the Weevil Mastermind's
teleportation system to drop the dead body of Haiku Gorilla in the LNH
Cafeteria, and then the world will be safe!" The Shadowy Figure
extended her hand to press the button, and then...

***

"Wait," said Retcon Lad, "I thought you were going to explain what
this cascade was supposed to be about?"
"I was," said Pointless Awards Man IV: The Voyage Home, "but I keep
getting interrupted by subplot scenes. That does it. We have to put a
stop to these subplot scenes right now so we can get around to the real
plot of this cascade! Retcon Lad, are you able to use your powers
right now?"
"I think so."
"Then use them to bring Haiku Gorilla back to life!"
Retcon Lad closed his eyes, concentrated and...
ZAP!

***

Just as the Shadowy Figure was about to press the suitably
menacing-looking button on the desk, Haiku Gorilla began to stir. The
Shadowy Figure gasped. "Due to reverse psychology," she said, "if
Haiku Gorilla comes back to life, the Legion will investigate his
death! I can't allow that to happen!" The Shadowy Figure pulled out a
mysterious weapon, and...
ZAP!

***

"Bring him back again!"
ZAP!

***
ZAP!

***
ZAP!

***
ZAP!

***

ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!
ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! Winter snow
ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!

***

Suddenly, Retcon Lad's powers backfired on him and he was retconned
into no longer being a part of the cascade. He vanished into
nothingness. Haiku Gorilla fell down to the floor, dead permanently
this time. And by "permanently" I mean "He'll come back as soon as his
fans get angry enough." But anyway. The Shadowy Figure finally
pressed the button, and...
ZAP!

***

"Did you hear what happened to Haiku Gorilla?" said Catalyst Lass,
eating lunch at the LNH Cafeteria.
"Yeah," said Cannon Fodder. "I sure hope he's OK and we can rescue
him soon. I--"
Just then, the dead body of Haiku Gorilla fell on Cannon Fodder from
out of nowhere, instantly killing him. Catalyst Lass drew back in
shock.
Before long, Ultimate Ninja had roped off the part of the LNHQ where
Haiku Gorilla's dead body lay. He looked down at it and scowled
beneath his mask, pondering. "Dead gorilla carcass in the cafeteria,"
he muttered. "I have known the city, I have seen its true face..." He
snapped to attention and turned to the crowd of Legionnaires who were
pressed around him. "All right. We need to assemble a team of
Legionnaires who can investigate Haiku Gorilla's death. Let's see...
First, I'll call in Deductive Logic Man. He can't appear in this issue
because the author hasn't read K.M. Wilcox's Aeneas and Ferris yet and
can't do him justice. Dr. Stomper will autopsy him. How is he, Dr.
Stomper?"
"Not good," said Dr. Stomper. "He won't come back from the dead for
at least a week unless his fans get VERY angry."
"All right, to counteract any potential threats, I'll have..."
Ultimate Mercenary started waving his hands around frantically in the
crowd like a student who wanted to go to the bathroom. "Let's see.
Master Blaster, Obscure Trivia Lad, Catalyst Lass..." Ultimate
Mercenary started jumping up and down. "Circe*, Nudist man, and..."
[*Whose first and so far only appearance was in the LNH International
Woman's Day Special by Jamie Rosen.--Gratuitously-Using-Obscure-Characters Adrian]
Ultimate Mercenary screamed "Pick me! Pick me!" at the top of his
lungs.
"...Never-Seen-Before-And-Never-Going-To-Be-Seen-Again Lad." Ultimate
Mercenary collapsed on the floor and cried tears of bitter rage and
loneliness.
Doctor Stomper was running arcane Kirbytech devices over Haiku
Gorilla's corpse. "These readings indicate that he was killed by a
laser device manufactured by Bertrand Weevil Enterprises," he said.
"OK," said Ultimate Ninja. "The rest of you, report to a
flight.thingee and go to the House of Bertrand Weevil. I'll call
Deductive Logic Man as soon as a writer shows up who knows how to write
him properly."

***

Things were looking bad for Pointless Awards Man IV: The Voyage Home.
Not only had Retcon Lad disappeared to somewhere where PAM IV couldn't
follow his temporal track, but the subplot scenes were going on so long
that he'd never get a chance to advance his own plotline. He needed to
call in someone else with retcon powers. Someone so powerful that he
could not only set the main plot in motion but delete the whole Death
of Haiku Gorilla subplot too.
"But who else had retcon-related powers? Well, there was Retcon
RACCoon... But he would be too hard to convince. Ultimate Mercenary
had recently developed the ability to sense changes to continuity. If
PAM IV used some Red Krypto.net to reverse his powers, he would have
the ability to cause changes to continuity. And he'd probably be very
happy to appear in a cascade given how he'd missed out on every major
crossover in the last two years due to his current author's ridiculous
slowness. But did he really want this series to get involved in
_Ultimate Mercenary's_ ridiculously convoluted plotlines? No. So who
else... He had it! This character was pretty obscure, even though
he'd appeared in the very first LNH story. But the current author
was a shameless continuity whore, so there would be no problem with
that...

***

The LNH flight.thingee zoomed through the skies above Net.ropolis,
heading straight for the infamous millionaire playboy insect Bertrand
Weevil's secluded mansion. On board, things were not going so well.
Nudist Man was going out of his way to make his particular endowments
obvious to all and sundry. Master Blaster, gripped by envy but
unwilling to admit inferiority in any particular department, was
futilely attempting to demonstrate his masculinity by chatting up
Circe. Catalyst Lass was trying to defuse the tension by suggesting
in-flight movies and failing miserably.
"Hey, Circe," said Master Blaster. "how would you like to see my
meat blaster?" He was so desperate now that he didn't realize he'd
already used that particular pickup line. Circe was no longer dignifying
Master Blaster's statements with a response, but glared at him with
more and more hatred each time and was definitely weighing the
advantages of turning him into a pig, even though he was flying the
flight.thingee.
"Um," said Catalyst Lass, exuding as much confidence as she could
under the circumstances, "could we watch a movie? How about, um, the
Guns of Navarone?" She was straining her powers to the fullest, but
the tension in the room combined with the fact that one of the people
she was trying to exercise them on was a Greek goddess meant that her
suggestion fell like a lead weight. She visibly deflated.
"Did you know that the sequel to the novel 'The Guns of Navarone,'
'Force Ten from Navarone,' was the only sequel that Alistair Maclean
ever wrote?" said Obscure Trivia Lad. "And that it is a sequel to the
movie and not the original novel?" Everyone ignored him.
"All right," said Catalyst Lass, "how about 'The Mad Adventures of
Rabbi Jacob'?" No one said anything.
Never-Seen-Before-and-Never-Going-to-be-Seen-Again Lad, who had not
said anything for this whole conversation, was still sullenly staring
out the window.
"Wait a minute," said Obscure Trivia Lad. "Obscure Trivia Lad just
remembered that Never-Seen-Before-and-Never-Going-to-be-Seen-Again Lad
has already made an appearance. He was originally suggested by Martin
Phipps to have amalgamated with Kid Recap to explain why he was
referred to as Recap Lad in a Flame Wars VI crossover. Since he has
already appeared once and part of his powers are that he can never
appear again, this clearly cannot be the real
Never-Seen-Before-and-Never-Going-to-be-Seen-Again Lad."
"You're right!" shouted Nudist Man. "Explain yourself!"
Never-Seen-Before-and-Never-Going-to-be-Seen-Again Lad pulled out a gun
and shot him in the chest. He then pressed a button on his image
inducer and his disguise fell away, revealing him as...

***

Many blocks away from this battle, Ben Pierce was looking forward
to yet another ordinary day with his wife and family. His life was, on
the whole, good. Of course, there was a little part of it that he'd
never told anyone about. Sometimes he even felt a kind of regret that
he hadn't had a chance to live it more fully. But that was a long time
in his past.
In those days, he'd been just a bored would-be comics artist who was
trying to start a career, when he had fallen prey to the manipulations
of evil net.villains back during the original Legion of Net.Heroes
cascade. He had been hit with a radioactive pencil and given the power
to change any story around him. Then he'd been brainwashed into
becoming a net.villain by the name of Plot-Error Man. It hadn't lasted
for very long--the LNH had gotten ahold of him after a while and
restored his original personality. He'd managed to start a
semi-successful career in comics, get married, and now he was living a
happy, normal life. But sometimes he felt it was too normal.
Sometimes he wondered what would have happened if he'd taken a
different choice once the LNH had removed his brainwashing, if he had
chosen a life of excitement and adventure...
Then he realized he was feeling rising heady excitement, like when
he was rushing down a roller-coaster. It was a feeling he had felt
before, and it could only mean one thing. He was in another cascade
issue.
There was a loud explosion and Ben's door was blasted off its hinges.
Oddly enough, it didn't wake the other members of his family up.
"Sorry about that," said the man who'd done it. "I'm Pointless Awards
Man IV, and I need your help."
Ben decided that he probably didn't want to live an excitement after
all. "Leave me alone," he said.
"You don't understand," said PAM IV. "I can pay for the door. There
is something far more important at stake. I'm going to start a
cascade, Just Imagine Saxon Brenton Presents the Raccies... Again: The
House of B. It will be the greatest LNH story ever written."
"Really? Better than Jungle Cheesecake? Tales of the LNH? Dvandom
Force?"
"Really. But I can't get the plot of this cascade started because
forces of evil are trying to prevent it, and because I keep getting cut
off by subplot scenes whenever I'm about to explain it. You need to
use your powers of retcon to try to defeat my enemies and delete all
the subplots from existance."
"You can't ask me to do this," said Ben. "It's crazy, it's... Better
than Dvandom Force?"
"Yes."
He took PAM IV's hand, knowing he'd regret it. "All right."

***

Elsewhere, the Shadowy Figure cursed at the top of her lungs. Her
enemy had found a being capable of defeating her plans. She had to
respond in kind. She had only one ally who could potentially stand up
to Plot-Error Man: the damned soul of her own dead son, who like her
daughter had been killed by legendary heroes of his age. The
witch/shadow-creature raised her hands in arcane gestures and chanted,
"Come forth from the depths of Net.Hell, my son... COME FORTH,
GREN.DEL!!!"

WILL GREN.DEL KILL PLOT-ERROR MAN BEFORE HE CAN GET THE PLOT OF THIS
CASCADE STARTED?
WILL HAIKU GORILLA EVER COME BACK?
WHERE IS RETCON LAD?
WHO IS NEVER-SEEN-BEFORE-AND-NEVER-GOING-TO-BE-SEEN-AGAIN LAD REALLY?
WILL THIS CASCADE EVER HAVE ANY CONNECTION WHATSOEVER TO THE RACCIES
AND TO THE PREVIOUS CASCADE?
AND WILL ANYONE EVER WRITE ANOTHER ISSUE?
These questions may or may not be answered in the next issue (if there
is one), of...
JUST IMAGINE SAXON BRENTON PRESENTS THE RACCIES... AGAIN!

Author's notes:
I intended this to be a nice, short, manageable cascade issue but it
ended up being almost as long as one of my regular issues. Oh well.
As Arthur Spitzer hasn't written Saviors of the Net #18, I have no idea
whether Captain Killfile's death can plausibly be blamed by her mother
on the LNH or not. On the other hand, the relatives of dead villains
are practially required by law to blame their deaths on their enemies.

Overlong character credits:
Ultimate Ninja and Cannon Fodder created by wReam
Dr. Stomper created by T.M. Neeck
Obscure Trivia Lad created by Brian Perler
Catalyst Lass created by Elisabeth Riba
Master Blaster created by Martin Phipps and based on Robert Ramirez
Pointless Awards Man IV: The Voyage Home created by Jesse Willey
Retcon Lad created and reserved by Saxon Brenton. His use in this
cascade is presumably OK considering that Saxon Brenton didn't object
in his End of Month Reviews of the first two issues.
The Weevil Mastermind, The Shadowy Figure (Gren.del's Mother), and
Nudist Man created by Tom Russell and are public domain
Haiku Gorilla created by Tom Russell. When I wrote him about using
Haiku Gorilla in another story, he said that Haiku Gorilla is reserved
but usable with permission; I don't know what his status in relation to
this cascade is but I assume it's OK to dump his body back in the LNHQ.
Captain Killfile and Retcon RACCoon created by Arthur Spitzer
Ultimate Mercenary created by Tom Russell and reserved and usable with
permissioon by me. He's not supposed to be part of this cascade, his
appearance was just supposed to be a brief cameo.
Circe created by Homer, who was not Homer but another man of the same
name, and brough into LNH by Jamie Rosen
Never-Seen-Before-and-NEver-Going-to-be-Seen-Again Lad created by
Martin Phipps.
Plot-Error Man created by Jef Kolodziej, I think
Gren.del created by an anonymous Anglo-Saxon who is presumably not
Homer, though you never know, and brought into the LNH by me. He can
be considered public domain.


[4]
From : Arthur Spitzer <arsp...@earthlink.net>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative,alt.comics.lnh
Subject: RACCies/LNH: Just Imagine Saxon Brenton Presents the Raccies... Again #4
Date: Thu, 30 Mar 2006 02:58:02 +0000 (UTC)
Lines: 233

in article 1143599327.2...@z34g2000cwc.googlegroups.com, Adrian
James McClure at lord_s...@yahoo.com wrote on 3/28/06 7:33 PM:
> Author's notes:
> I intended this to be a nice, short, manageable cascade issue but it
> ended up being almost as long as one of my regular issues. Oh well.
> As Arthur Spitzer hasn't written Saviors of the Net #18, I have no idea
> whether Captain Killfile's death can plausibly be blamed by her mother
> on the LNH or not. On the other hand, the relatives of dead villains
> are practially required by law to blame their deaths on their enemies.

Hmm. I'm not sure I want the name of Captain Killfile's Mother's
name to ever be revealed.
Funny story though.
Captain Killfile died in Saviors of the Net #14 I think. It was the
Mechanical Author (or maybe Marc Singer) that killed her. The Ultimate
Savior might be a little responsible for her death since he was the one
who used her Killfile Gauntlets to escape from the Mechanical Author
causing her to be burned to a crisp. I guess you could make a case that
the Saviors were responsible for her death (Dr. Net.ropolis created the
Mechanical Author) and since Nudist Man was a member of the Saviors and
the LNH, I guess you could make a link (if you were insane).
And now -- how should I deal with your story :)?
Okay the following was quickly written so it's pretty bad. But here
it goes...


In a story I'd like to call...

"Quality be damned, Let's see how fast I can write this baby!"

in article 1143599327.2...@z34g2000cwc.googlegroups.com, Adrian
James McClure at lord_s...@yahoo.com wrote on 3/28/06 7:33 PM:
> Elsewhere, the Shadowy Figure cursed at the top of her lungs. Her
> enemy had found a being capable of defeating her plans. She had to
> respond in kind. She had only one ally who could potentially stand up
> to Plot-Error Man: the damned soul of her own dead son, who like her
> daughter had been killed by legendary heroes of his age. The
> witch/shadow-creature raised her hands in arcane gestures and chanted,
> "Come forth from the depths of Net.Hell, my son... COME FORTH,
> GREN.DEL!!!"

But right as the Gates of Hell started to manifest in the (where ever
the hell they are) another Shadowy Figure screamed, "Liar! You're not the
real Captain Killfile's Mother!! I am!!!"
And she was joined by another Shadowy Figure who shook her head. "No!!
You're both wrong!! I'm the Real Captain Killfile's MOM!!!"
After a little bit, the place started to become very crowded with
shadowy figures who claimed to be Captain Killfile's Mom.
"There can only be ONE CAPTAIN KILLFILE'S MOM! Kill these pretenders
who mock my daughter's death, my Son!!"
GREN.DEL gave a nod and started slaughtering all of the shadowy
figures. But before he could complete his gruesome chore another shadowy
figure emerged who was even more horrible than either GREN.DEL or his
mother. It was a beast made of machinery and cold heartless steel.
The Shadowy Mechanical Beast spoke in a cold inhuman voice. <<You are
both wrong, Foolish Humans! For it is I, THE LOONIVERSAL ANSWERING MACHINE
who is Captain Killfile's real mother!!>> And with that the Looniversal
Answering Machine started blazing bullets at GREN.DEL and his Mom.

***

"Please! I'm just an old lady!" said a frightened old lady.
"Relax Grandma!" said a grinning punk. "You just do everything we say,
and you'll only get a couple of broken fingers!"
"only a couple?" growled a voice like sandpaper.
"Who the hell...?" The two thugs scanned the dark alleyway trying to
find who had made the sound. And then they saw it. It was up high in a
corner. It looked like a million beady eyes shrouded in shadows. And a
pair of big eyes. A pair of very disturbed eyes.
"me? i'm a bit more generous." One of the thugs fired a gun in the
direction of the voice. And then he screamed. And then they both screamed.
"in fact -- when i start handing out the presents, i have a hard time
knowing when to quit." Eventually, after a number of gut-wrenching screams
and bone crackling sounds the costumed figure left the two hoods to check
and see if the elderly woman was all right.
"Thank the heavens you came when you did young man, I was..." the old
lady started to say with a friendly smile on her face. But then something
changed her expression. The smile changed into rage. "You! I know you!!
You're the one!! The one that killed her!! The one that killed my
daughter!! My lovely Brunhilda!!"
And then she started walloping the Very Disturbed Scary Creature Man
with her handbag. Before he could anything to prevent the old lady more
females started to come into the alleyway and join the beating. Each one
believing that they were punishing the man who had killed their sweet
innocent Brunhilda.

***

<(I have a confession to make. I need to tell someone about this.)>
The Hooded Ho`'od Win said in a regretful tone.
"Oooh! Is it juicy?" Hell-Catalyst's eyes lighted up.
<(Please, Cat. This is very hard for me to talk about.)>
"Whoops! Sorry!"
<(Do you remember 'The Bride of the C'thulhu' Chaotic Add-On Story?)>
"I think so. That was the one where I got slime and brimstone in my
hair, right? I couldn't get it out for weeks! What an icky Chaotic Add-On
Story!"
<(Yes. There was time-travel involved, also. I was sent on a mission
to the past. It was the late sixties. I met someone.)>
"Oooh! Was he cute?"
<(In a way. Please, Cat, this is hard for me to talk about. Believe
me if I had known who he was at the time I would have never had...)>
HHW stopped and buried her face in her hands.
Hell-Catalyst gave her friend a comforting hug. "Please, Hood! It's
all right. This is just between you and me."
<(We had intercourse. There was no birth control. I don't know why
I did such a stupid thing, but -- Sometimes, I get so lonely. It was a
stupid -- stupid -- I was with child. I had the baby in the past and --
and I left it there to be raised by her father!"
A moment of silence hovered through the air. Then Hell-Catalyst
finally spoke. "Who was the father?"
<(He was -- Doctor Killfile!! And my baby was -- Brunhilda Killfile!!)>
"I'm sorry, Hood! That just can't be!"
<(And why can't it be?)>
"Because, Silly! I'm Captain Killfile's Mother!"

***

"I'm afraid we have a big problem, Ultimate Ninja."
"Thank God. I was getting bored with small problems," the ninja said
with a sarcastic tone. "Well? What is it now, Doctor?"
Doctor Stomper adjusted his lab-coat. "I'm afraid there seem to be
thousands of females in Net.ropolis who believe that they're Captain
Killfile's mother. And the problem is growing!"
The Ultimate Ninja blinked his eyes and then waited for the punchline.
And when the punchline didn't come he finally said. "Oh my God! You're
serious! I can't believe you're serious! This is stupid! This might be
the stupidest storyline I've ever been a part of and believe me I've been a
part of some really moronic ones!! Oh Christ! I guess I might as well ask
it. What's causing this?"
"At this point I'm not sure. It could be a virus. It could be a mass
hypnotic spell -- Or -- Hell if I know..."
"Well. Do we know the range? Is it just a Net.ropolis problem or are..."
But before the Ultimate Ninja could finish his question he was interrupted
by a com.message from Multi-Tasking Man.
<<I think you should check out the big monitor screen, UN!>> The
ninja clicked on the big screen. And then he saw a face. A face that he
recognized very well.
Oh Christ, the Ninja thought to himself, It can't be! Not now. Not
at this moment. The LNH wasn't ready for this.
<<Ah, Ultimate Ninja. Yes. I'm back. The Crossover Queen has returned!>>
"What do you want!" The Ultimate Ninja grabbed the hilt of his katana
tightly.
<<Just some people. People who were responsible for my daughter's
death. I want you to bring me the Saviors of the Net so they can pay for
the crime of killing my lovely Brunhilda!>>
"Good grief. Not you too," the Ultimate Ninja sighed.
<<You have an hour. Send them to the Looniversal Class Space Cruiser
that's orbiting your pathetic little orb. And if you fail to comply I will
start destroying major cities. And just to show you how completely serious
I am, well -- say goodbye to Espanola!>>

***

One moment the City of Espanola was sitting by itself whistling a
happy little tune. The next moment a Reality Wave came down from the sky.
Several thousand mimes pantomimed horrible agony. And then the City that
rhymed with Frespanola was no more.

***

"Oh, this is starting to get ridiculous! I mean, Come on!" The
Ultimate Ninja shook his head. "Destroying millions of people over some
stupid 'Who's Captain Killfile's Mom?' joke? Have the writers finally
lost their heads? No one cares who Captain Killfile's Mom is! This is
absurd!"
<<You have an hour, Ninja.>> The Crossover Queen's face disappeared
off the screen.
The Ultimate Ninja looked at his Ninja Bush. Sometimes, he thought,
It would be nice to meet the people who wrote these stories. There were
so many things he would love to do to them.

To be continued?

Who will win? GREN.DEL or the Looniversal Answering Machine?
What does this have to do with Saxon Brenton?
And Who is Captain Killfile's Mom? Will we ever find out?

Credits:

Crossover Queen is Drizzt's I believe
Hell-Catalyst is Jeff McCoskey's
Hooded Ho`'od Win and Ultimate Ninja are wReam's
Dr. Stomper is T.M. Neeck's
Multi-Tasking Man's is Jeff Coleburn's
GREN.DEL and his mother are Adrian James McClure's
Looniversal Answering Machine is Russ Allbery's

Arthur "What have I wrought?" Spitzer


[5]
From : Adrian James McClure <lord_s...@yahoo.com>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Subject: RACCIES/LNH/ACRA: Just Imagine Saxon Brenton Presents the RACCies... Again! #5 (now with added Saxon Brenton and RACCies) (warning: very long)
Date: Fri, 31 Mar 2006 17:27:03 +0000 (UTC)
Lines: 468

Arthur--That was actually some pretty great stuff. Bringing in the
Looniversal Answering Machine was especially inspired. So here's the
next installment, just because...

No one demanded it, but here it is anyway!
Just Imagine Saxon Brenton Presents the RACCies... Again! #5:
"For the Writer who Has Everything"

Note: This issue has an arguably Acraphobe bit parodying storylines
that DC seems to have no problem including in comics that are aimed at
children.

A FEW MINUTES AGO, IN ANOTHER PLOTLINE...
Ben--he was Plot-Error Man again, he supposed, at least for now--shook
Pointless Awards Man IV's hand, knowing he'd regret it. PAM IV's grip
was as hard as a vice, and Plot-Error Man already began to feel
trapped. Then, there was yet another ZAP!...
And they were elsewhere. Plot-Error Man gasped and felt as if he
was about to lose his lunch. The place they were now couldn't be more
different from the comfortable suburban home they'd just left behind.
It was a gigantic, desolate fortress built of some kind of stone he'd
never seen in an architectural style he couldn't pin down in a color
that didn't fall within the human visual spectrum. It seemed to be
constantly changing and yet totally dead. Being in here felt like all
the memories of things he'd lost at once. "Where are we?" he whispered
meekly.
"We are outside of time, in the fortress of a version of the Time
Crapper that doesn't exist yet," said PAM IV. "Don't ask how that's
possible because this issue is already going to be padded enough."
Plot-Error Man hadn't been able to take in any specific detail of
what he'd seen around him up until now, because it was just too large and
alien, but now something in particular stood out. It was a towering
crystal wall that stood in the center of the fortress. In it,
Plot-Error Man could catch flashes of everything that had been or would
be. "What's that?"
"That's the timestream," said Pointless Awards Man IV. "I had to
bring you here since the way your powers work means that you can't
retcon an universe unless you're not part of it yourself. As soon as
your mind has adjusted to the sensation of being here, you can create
the necessary retcons which would allow 'Just Imagine Saxon Brenton
Presents the RACCies... Again!' to truly begin!"
Plot-Error Man didn't acknowledge anything that PAM IV said. He
found himself drawn to the timestream, which glowed faintly as he
approached it. Transfixed, he touched it lightly, at a point where he
saw a beautiful but mean-looking blonde woman...
Plot-Error Man drew back abruptly as the timestream began to wobble
slightly. "No, you idiot!" said PAM IV, pulling him away. "Don 't
break the timestream!" There was a small, almost unnoticeable crack
where the woman was...

NOW
Onboard the flght thingee, the assmebled LNHers gasped as
Never-Seen-Before-and-Never-Going-to-Be-Seen-Again Lad revealed himself
as...
"Deductive Logic Man?"
"Elementary, my dear LNHers," said Deductive Logic Man, adjusting his
bowler hat.
"Why did you just shoot Nudist Man?" said Catalyst Lass.
"Because that's not actually Nudist Man," said Deductive Logic Man.
"Circe, casts a spell that reveals the true forms of things on him, you
will find that he is..."
"The Weevil Mastermind in a human-shaped exoskeleton?"
"And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you damn
kids!" said Bertrand Weevil, crawling out of "Nudist Man's" head. "How
did you ever figure it out?"
"Before joining our mission, instead of eating Doritos, which is
Nudist Man's usual favorite snack food, you ate cotton, the food of the
Cotton Boll Weevil or Anthonomus Grandis, to which species The Weevil
Mastermind is known to belong."
"Did you know that the Boll Weevil has caused a $14 billion loss of
cotton since it arrived from Mexico in 1892?" said Obscure Trivia Lad.
Everyone ignored him.
"Hey, didn't you die in issue 2?" said Master Blaster. "Um, wait, how
do I know that? Never mind. Why did you try to sabotage our mission?"
"I wanted to ruin Nudist Man's life and reputation. He was one of
the Saviors of the Net, who were responsible for the death of Captain
Killfile! Because I was her mother!"
"No, I was her mother!" shouted Catalyst Lass and Circe in unison.
Then they looked at each other strangely. "Never mind," said Catalyst
Lass. "How is that possible? Aren't you an insect?"
"A male insect?" added Obscure Trivia Lad.
"Well..." said the Weevil Mastermind. "It's a long story..." But he
didn't get a chance to tell it because at that moment, the
flight.thingee landed next to the House of Bertrand Weevil.
"So what should we do with the Weevil Mastermind?" said Catalyst Lass.
"Should we call the police to arrest him first?"
"No! No! Wait!" said the Weevil Mastermind. "That's actually my
mansion! You'll need my help to get in there because it's my mansion
and I planted several death-traps there!"
They walked up to the door of the mansion. "Remember," said Deductive
Logic Man to the others, "the Weevil Mastermind said that there are
death traps here, and there may be other enemies as well. We have to
be subtle."
Master Blaster pulled out an enormous gun and shot smoking hole in the
door. "I said subtle!" said Deductive Logic Man.
"What does that mean again?" said Master Blaster. "Oh, yeah, right.
Sorry."
The Legionnaires stealthily crept into the mansion. "This thing is
hideous," whispered Circe as she saw the decor. "Is Bertrand Weevil
blind?"
"Actually," said Deductive Logic Man, "the pattern of color use is
consistent with someone who has orange/red colorblindness... Wait."
He put his finger to his mouth. "There's another net.ahuman in this
building."
"How can you tell?" said the Weevil Mastermind nervously.
"Well," said Deductive Logic Man, "because the movement of shadows
indicates the presence of a net.ahuman with powers over darkness. But
mainly because of the explosions in the kitchen. Are there any death
traps in this area?"
"Um, well, no. There aren't any death traps in this house. I was
kind of using the truth creatively... Wait, explosions? My house is
going to burn down! Help, help!" But everyone ignored him and
cautiously walked into the kitchen...

***

The battle between the Looniversal Answering Machine was a battle
for the ages, one of the most memorable fights in LNH history. But
unfortunately this issue was already getting long enough, so suffice to
say that the Looniversal Answering Machine found that even her great
strength and cold tactical brilliance was of only so much use against
Gren.del's unstoppable primal fury. So she opened a dimensional hole
and teleported herself back to the Net.gative Zone within the depths of
alt.comics.lnh, where here only company was the distant echoes of the
wheedling of spammers and the incomprehensible gibbering of trolls.
There she would lick her wounds and one day take her revenge.
"You have done well, my Son," said Gren.del's Mother, when the
Legionnaires suddenly walked into the room. Gren.del tensed like a cat
and prepared to spring when his mother, "Gren.del, no. The time for
blood has not come upon us yet."
"Who's that?" said Master Blaster. "She looks kind of hot. Kind of
like a goth Angelina Jolie. Apart from the claws, anyway, but..."
"My name is not important," said Gren.del's Mother. "What is
important is the name of my daughter, Brunhilde, who you know as
Captain Killfile. Nudist Man was one of those who slew her, and you
serve the same thane as he, so you must die..."
"No, I'm Captain Killfile's mother!" shouted Catalyst Lass, Circe,
and Bertrand Weevil in unison.
"...Never mind," said Gren.del's mother. "The point is, I cannot
kill you yet because a greater evil has arisen that threatens us both. He
calls himself Pointless Awards Man IV, though his true name I do not
know. I do know that he is planning something that threatens all that
is, and..."
"Wait," said Deductive Logic Man. "Did you say your son is Gren.del?
The Gren.del of legend?"
"Yes."
"Then why don't either of you speak in alliterative verse?"
"Because our author is too lazy. Now as I was saying..."
But just then, Very-Disturbed-Scary-Creature Man rushed into the
building, followed by a horde of enraged women with handbags. He
ducked into the shadows of the kitchen as the women charged into the
room, screaming, "You killed my daughter!"
"Now now," said Catalyst Lass, standing unmoved with her arms crossed.
"Can't we work this out whatever this is nonviolently."
"Well..." said the old woman.
"Maybe instead of killing us you all could wrestle with Catalyst Lass
and Circe in jello?" said Master Blaster. "Except the old fat one."
Circe snapped her fingers and Master Blaster found he couldn't talk.
"All right," said the old woman. "He--" Then, Bertrand Weevil--who,
you must keep in mind was still inside his Nudist Man disguise--charged
into the room, running around in circles. The woman then were filled
with such a jolt of anger that Catalyst Lass lost her hold on them, and
they set upon him as one. So Bertrand Weevil was killed. Yes, again.
Sucks to be him.
"Wait, wait," said Catalyst Lass, futilely trying to get through to
them, but they wouldn't listen. "You must be in league with him!" said
a woman in front of the crowd. The horde of women bore down on the
Legionnaires and their allies, pinned them to the floor, and started
beating them before they could react. Meanwhile, Very Disturbed
Scary-Creature Man had fallen through a hole in the floor that had been
caused by one of the explosions earlier. He pressed a button on a
device on his boot--never mind how he got it.
The Legionnaires were struggling with all their might, but couldn't
escape from being clubbed by the angry women who thought they were Dr.
Killfile's mother. But then, there was a flash of light, and Retcon
Lad fell into the room. Retcon Lad stood up, wobbling on his feet, and
then the women knocked him over and started clubbing him as well. "You
killed Captain Killfile! You killed my daughter!" they all screamed.
Retcon Lad could see a subtle flickering around him. He realized that
somehow a time paradox had emerged where all these women were the
mother of Captain Killfile at once, and if he didn't do something the
timestream would collapse under the weight of all these people trying
to occupy the same temporal space. He could feel his powers still
active, though they were faint, and he started hurling retcons at them.
Gren.del's Mother was now the mother of the Captain Killfile from the
alternate-future Saviors of the Net, the ones from _Ultimate
Mercenary_, the old lady was the mother of the golden-age Captain
Killfile, the blonde who was kind of cute and who he probalby would
have liked to get to know better if she wasn't trying to kill him was
her clone, the one next to her was her counterpart from an alternate
future, Catalyst Lass and Circe had both been the mother of Captain
Killfile in alternate timelines that had now beeen erased... and so on
and so forth.
He'd now started a domino effect where each retcon was progressively
easier. But even before he'd been infected, causing these many retcons
at once would have put an enormous strain on him, let alone now. And
it wasn't just a strain on him. While the damage to the universe as a
whole was being minimized, reality in this particular place was being
worn thin by all the retcons happening at once. He could feel the
universe beginning to give away under his feet. And since he was
causing retcons so quickly that they didn't immediately affect the
memories of the poeple he was retconning, it wasn't making the horde of
angry women any less angry. Things were looking pretty desparate...
Just then, a cloud of screeching flying rubber creatures summoned by
the device on Very Disturbed Scary Creature Man's boot burst through
the windows and started flapping above the women's heads. Panicking,
they hurried out of house--just as the pressure on reality became too
great and the House of Bertrand Weevil, together with Gren.del and his
mother, Very Disturbed Scary Creature Man, and all the Legionnaires
fell out of the Looniverse...

***

Plot-Error Man watched, awed and horrified, as the small crack he'd
caused slowly expanded in size, though a few branches of it were
healing. "Is there anything I can do to stop it?" he whispered.
"As soon as you cause the retcons I brought you here to cause, that
damage will be automatically repaired."
"OK," said Plot-Error Man. "Wait a minute. If we're outside of time,
why are we experiencing time here?"
PAM IV sighed. "We are outside the timestream of the universe as a
whole, but still inside our personal timestreams. However, the longer
we spend in here the more those timestreams will erode. So we have to
act quickly."
"OK," said Plot-Error Man. He rubbed his head. "I can't take in any
of this. I need some coffee."
PAM IV clenched his teeth. "All right, all right, fine. But then
will you cause the retcons?" He waved his hand and a steaming hot cup
of black coffee appeared in his hand, just the way Plot-Error Man liked
it. Plot-Error Man took the coffee and sipped it, but he couldn't take
his eyes off the shifting timestream. Taken aback by something he saw,
he slipped and the cup fell out of his hand, the coffee hitting the
crystal wall.
"Argh! You idiot! You spilled coffee on the timestream!"

***

"Shortly after the LNH was founded," explained Dr. Stomper, "Dr.
Killfile raped Sister State-The-Obvious. Occultism Kid then tried to
force him to become good, but ended up accidentally lobotomizing him.
Then when you found out about it, we wiped your mind. And now she was
just killed by aLliterative Lass."
"Wow, magical mindwiping!" said Comics Snob Boy. "This is such a
touching examination of the very real consequences of rape."
"You bastards," said Ultimate Ninja. "I'm going to have to activate
the iMac project, my secret LNH-killing protocol!."
"Wait," said wReamhack "why do you have a secret LNH-killing
protocol?"
"Um, I have no idea now that I think about it. I guess I thought it
would come in useful someday."
"Wouldn't it be a problem if they fell into enemy hands?"
"No! They wouldn't! I'm too good for that!"
Then a message flashed on the LNH computer screen. "No you're not.
Ha-ha!" A bunch of civilians in net.ropolis then turned into robots
and started killing people. "I did it!" said Sarcastic Lad. "I'm evil
even though it doesn't fit the way I've been characterized before, so
we can have more drama and angst!" And then he shot Master Blaster in
the head.

***

"There is a disturbance in the Dorf sector and the Dorf are about to
go to war with the Shi'tar," said Eight of Nine.
"Who?" said Sing-Along Lass.
"The Shi'tar were an alien species appeared in an issue of Tom
RUssell's Journey into Irrelevancy," said Eight of Nine.
"Oh, them," said Sing-Along Lass. "OK."
"Shall we then gird ourselves and engage in a titanic battle the like
of which the universe has never seen before?" said Kid Kirby.
"No," said Eight of Nine. "We're going to sit around and do nothing
for six issues until Sing-Along Lass is pointlessly killed and her
essence merges with Vel to make it look like this story was actually
significant."

***

A horde of net.villains as large as the Legion of Net.Heroes itself,
led by Manga Man and Dr. Killfile started blasting its way through
Net.ropolis. "We are the all-new, all-different Brotherhood of Evil
Net.Villains!" shouted Dr. Killfile. "We are unstoppable! And we get
the only crossover tie-in miniseries that doesn't suck!"

***

"Hurry before it's too late!" said All-Knowing Whiner Last-Chance
Destiny Woman. "The Racc.tre is almost upon us!"
"I'm trying," said Occultism Kid, "but I can't hold off her power!"
"Kawaai!" said the Racc.tre, whose essence was now guided by the
spirit of the original Manga Girl, as she turned the oncoming soldiers
into pink fluffy bunnies.

***

"My God," said Plot-Error Man, "that's the most horrifying thing I've
ever seen!"
"We must act now!" said PAM IV, who was actually rather overacting
now. He placed his hands on Plot-Error Man's head. Plot-Error Man
felt his power expanding, encompassing, to his horror, not just the
timestream but Real Life itself...
ZAP!

***

Adrian James McClure woke up. He'd just had a horrible nightmare
where he was an overworked single college student with no time for a
social life who had an unconquerable case of writer's block and was
desparately trying to finish a fairly mediocre cascade issue. But all
his nervousness and fear slipped away once he felt his wife sleeping
next to him. Still, he couldn't blame himself for having felt nervous.
Today was the day, after all.
He got out of bed, but decided not to wake her up just yet. She'd
need all the rest she could get given what was going to happen later
today. Adrian was already still worn out after attending the Hugo
Awards, where he'd tied for the award for best novel with Jamie Rosen
for the third year in a row. He could only imagine how Tom Russell
would feel after having just won the Oscar for best picture for "Star
Wars: Episode III." But today they were all going to attend an awards
ceremony bigger than all the others combined: the RACCies. Dealing
with the paparazzi alone would be a major headache--not only was the
LNH a multi-million dollar industry, not only would bestselling science
fiction writer Jamie Rosen and legendary rock star Jesse Willey and
famous director Tom Russell be there, but the RACCies would be
presented by none other than Saxon Brenton, head of the newly-created
united world government, which was unfortunately not leaving him quite
as much time to write LNH issues.
What would win this year? The competition was always tough, as RACC
writers never suffered from writers block and never left. It would be
a tough choice between Tom Russell's ending to Net.Heroes on Parade,
which had been almost as good as Scavenger's ending to 501 Blues some
years back, the latest arc in Dvandom's Exarchs, and Scavenger's own
LNH2 series 502 Blues. Adrian himself would have chosen Arthur
Spitzer's The Very Disturbed Scary Knight Returns. There were always a
few hardcore literary snobs who voted for Ernest Hemingway, who had
survived as a disembodied cybernetic head attached to the body of a
gorilla and had recently begun writing LNH, but as science fiction and
superhero stories were respected literary genres now, they probably
wouldn't prevail.
There was one thing that stuck in Adrian's craw, though.
Co-presenting the awards this year would be someone called Pointless
Awards Man IV: The Voyage Home, after the character who used to
present the fictional RACCies in the earliest days of the LNH. None of
the other RACC writers seemed to know who he actually was. Maybe Saxon
knew, as he hadn't had time to speak with anyone about it in the last
few months. But something about this person just worried him.
Obviously this was some kind of publicity stunt, but if so, why hadn't
he or any of the other RACC writers been told about it? Still, that
was the only thing that worried him, and it didn't worry him very much.
Other than that, his life was perfect.

***

The House of Bertrand Weevil, and everyone who had been in it, fell
back into the Looniverse. But it was a very different Looniverse from
the one it had left...

Next: Well, we'll just have to see.

Trust me, I'll never write a cascade issue quite this long ever again.

Credits:
Plot-Error Man and the Time Crapper created by Jef Kolodziej
Pointless Awards Man IV: The Voyage Home created by Jesse Willey
Captain Killfile and Very-Disturbed-Scary-Creature Man created by
Arthur Spitzer
Never-Seen-Before-And-Never-Going-To-Be-Seen-Again Lad (who will
probably never be mentioned again), Master Blaster, and Eight of Nine
created by Martin Phipps
Deductive Logic Man created by wReam, and developed significantly by K.
Michael Wilcox. I read some of Aeneas and Ferris before writing this
issue and hope I managed to write him OK.
Nudist Man, the Weevil Mastermind, (sort of) Gren.Del's Mother, and the
Shi'tar created by Tom Russell
Catalyst Lass created by Elisabeth Riba
Circe created by Jamie Rosen
Obscure Trivia Lad created by Brian Perler
Looniversal Answering Machine created by Russ Alberey and introduced as
an actual character by Arthur Spitzer
Gren.Del and (sort of) Gren.del's mother created by me
Retcon Lad created by Saxon Brenton, and presumably used with
permission
Ultimate Ninja, Sister State-The-Obvious, wReamhack and All-Knowing
Whiner Last-Chance Destiny Woman created by wReam
Occultism Kid created by Josh Guerink
aLLiterative Lass created by Charles Fitzgerald
Comics Snob Boy created by Maurice Bayke
Sarcastic Lad created by Gary St. Lawrence
Sing-Along Lass created by Drizzt
Kid Kirby created by Jameel Alkhafiz, cameoed without permission
Vel created by Jesse Willey, namechecked without permission
The Racc.tre created by Matt Rossi
The various writers created by God, or their parents, or random chance
or what have you

I'll never write a cascade issue which references quite this many
characters either.


---
Saxon Brenton Uni of Technology, city library, Sydney Australia
saxon....@uts.edu.au saxonb...@hotmail.com
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"There will always be an LNH. Period. Even if all the current writers
disappear in a poof of light, some wandering group of weirdos will come
and look over the remnants of RACC, see what the LNH was, and rebuild
it all over again. In the comic book world, the LNH is a state of mind
that has been given a name: Comic book parody."
- Chad Imbrogno, rec.arts.comics.creative, 1997


_________________________________________________________________
If It Exists, You'll Find it on SEEK Australia's #1 job site
http://clk.atdmt.com/NMN/go/157639755/direct/01/

[Andrew Perron]

On Thu, 17 Dec 2009 01:11:17 +0000 (UTC), Saxon Brenton wrote:

> [LNH/RACCies/TEB] Just Imagine Saxon Brenton Presents the RACCies... Again! - Trade Etherback

<snip>

> The House of Bertrand Weevil, and everyone who had been in it, fell
> back into the Looniverse. But it was a very different Looniverse from
> the one it had left...

Ah, so much potential wasted...

*YOINK!*

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, *sneaks off cackling*