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Edward Protera
May 16, 2012, 3:27:12 AM5/16/12
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B I O M E C H A N O I D * A N G E L
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GGGGGGG GGGGGGGGG GG GG GGGGGGGGG GGGGGGG GGGGGGGGG GGGGGG
Issue #0 - "Yesterday"
Written by Andrew Perron and Edward Protera
-*G*-
[ The cover is green holofoil. It shows an outer space scene; a planet
with the sun rising over its edge, giving sharp backlighting to the
silhouette of what appears to be a shattered moon. Around the viewer's
vantage point, the long, pointed noses of huge spaceships are aimed dead
center on the planet below, its surface smeared with blotches of holofoiled
silver. ]
-*G*-
The unblinking mechanical eye of an AI-operated warship surveyed a
world wracked by war and the sprawl of an unrelenting mechanical plague,
orbiting high above, beneath the shattered remains of an alabaster moon,
the fragments scorched and pockmarked with fresh scars. The consciousness
behind that eye would heave a sigh, had it the breath to do so.
The planet was dying - no; it was in the midst of its death rattle.
Its feeble tremblings were a barely-heard gasp, begging for death - a
request the construct knew it would have to oblige.
Hundreds of other vessels, both manned and unmanned, floated solemn
and silent, each positioned above one of the massive smears of tainted land
that covered the planet they had called home. Every one of these
nation-sized blotches of tarnished silver, gleaming dully in the sunlight,
was a monument to the rot that had consumed their world.
The sentience paused for several seconds, thinking, running through
all of the options available, only to come to the same conclusion it had
hundreds of times before. Total incineration of the planet's biosphere was
the only way to destroy the planetborne infection at this point, and it
knew this; it had ordered a planetwide evacuation in preparation. But what
if there had been a better solution, only a simple calculation away?
There was no use wasting clock cycles. As soon as the decision was made,
it was carried out. The order was a simple one - "Fire." The AIοΏ½s
feminine voice, solemn and quiet, echoed through the bridges of the manned
vessels, and through the electronic brains of those that were unmanned -
but not uncrewed.
Almost simultaneously, thousands of massive turrets swerved and locked
into place at the command, shafts pointed at the planet far below like so
many accusing fingers. Luminous green energy danced and arced across their
yawning mouths, a glow rivalling that of the sun forming deep within. The
vessels' other lights dimmed, then petered out entirely. Even the primal
power of the mighty atom was dwarfed by the energies that poured into the
batteries.
Shafts of emerald light lanced to the planet below, outshining the
jealous sun, scorching great swaths of land as the infection tried to
retreat from their energy.
And then it happened. All over the globe, massive fireballs began to
spread. The atmosphere itself caught fire, incinerating the blight beyond
recognition even as it fled. Oceans began to boil and entire forests burst
aflame like twigs even before the waves hit, only to be reduced to ash and
vapor in their wake.
The beams of light died as the inferno began to gain a life of its
own. The fleet drifted, silent and dark, high above. Several vessels lay
shattered, torn apart as the terrible fury proved too great to contain, but
most survived, remaining dark to mourn the immense loss they had inflicted
upon themselves.
And soon, it was done. The infection was purged. But in its place
lay a truly dead planet, its surface charred and blackened. Feeble embers
dotted the landscape, struggling to burn in the depleted atmosphere.
And now? Now, they must rebuild. It would be long, and hard, but--
Wait.
The tumbling lunar fragments. A small subroutine had been idly plotting
their trajectories, as one might drum one's fingers in tension. But there
was one-- no, three-- no, a dozen pieces whose motion was outside the
margin of error.
Suddenly, instinctively - if entirely manufactured beings can be said to
have instincts - it knew. A back-up plan. Seeds that lay waiting, waiting
for the opportunity to flee to some other unfortunate world... and start
the process over again.
Orders blasted through the fleet, riding waves swifter by far than radio.
Intercept! Disable! Destroy! The manned ships were still wholly blind,
drifting under minimal power, and were slow to move as their reactors
strained to reactivate. The AI ships were more ready by far, but the
massive expenditure of energy had taken its toll on them as well, and the
fleet, all in all, was only able to destroy nine of the seeds before they
were able to shed their terrestrial husks and begin their flights.
The three that remained had escaped. They were fast - faster than
anything the fleet had left; they were on courses for inhabited worlds, all
of which were too technologically backward to even begin to face such a
threat.
This was the most dire of circumstances. The darkest of hours. At this
point, it was the worst of possibilities.
But the enemy were not the only ones to make backup plans...
-*G*-
And now the fun really begins! Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to
anime-influenced high-octane science-fiction fun. Welcome to Biomechanical
Angel GENESIS!
--Andrew
Welcome indeed. This project's been in the works, one way or another,
for over a year now, starting the day I showed Andrew the first episode of
the anime 'King of Braves GaoGaiGar'. That's likely the biggest single
influence here; I'll explain more about the evolution of Genesis the
character another time, but suffice it to say, this wouldn't be here if not
for that show.
Let me be perfectly clear: We want and need critique. Especially me,
as I'm the less experienced writer of the pair, though I'm sure Drew will
welcome it as well. Opinions! Things you liked! Things you didn't! We're
all ears (well, eyes)!
--Edward
GGGGGGG GGGGGGGGG GGG GG GGGGGGGGG GGGGGGG GGGGGGGGG GGGGGGG
GG GG GGGGGGGG GGGG GG GGGGGGGG GGG G GGGGGGGGG GGG G
GG GG GG GG GG GG GGG GGG GGG
GG GGGGGGGGG GG GG GG GGGGGGGGG GGG GGG GGG
GG GGGG GG GG GGGG GG GGG GGG GGG
GG G GGGGGGGG GG GGG GGGGGGGG G GGG GGGGGGGGG G GGG
GGGGGGG GGGGGGGGG GG GG GGGGGGGGG GGGGGGG GGGGGGGGG GGGGGG
Issue #0 - "Yesterday"
Written by Andrew Perron and Edward Protera
-*G*-
[ The cover is green holofoil. It shows an outer space scene; a planet
with the sun rising over its edge, giving sharp backlighting to the
silhouette of what appears to be a shattered moon. Around the viewer's
vantage point, the long, pointed noses of huge spaceships are aimed dead
center on the planet below, its surface smeared with blotches of holofoiled
silver. ]
-*G*-
The unblinking mechanical eye of an AI-operated warship surveyed a
world wracked by war and the sprawl of an unrelenting mechanical plague,
orbiting high above, beneath the shattered remains of an alabaster moon,
the fragments scorched and pockmarked with fresh scars. The consciousness
behind that eye would heave a sigh, had it the breath to do so.
The planet was dying - no; it was in the midst of its death rattle.
Its feeble tremblings were a barely-heard gasp, begging for death - a
request the construct knew it would have to oblige.
Hundreds of other vessels, both manned and unmanned, floated solemn
and silent, each positioned above one of the massive smears of tainted land
that covered the planet they had called home. Every one of these
nation-sized blotches of tarnished silver, gleaming dully in the sunlight,
was a monument to the rot that had consumed their world.
The sentience paused for several seconds, thinking, running through
all of the options available, only to come to the same conclusion it had
hundreds of times before. Total incineration of the planet's biosphere was
the only way to destroy the planetborne infection at this point, and it
knew this; it had ordered a planetwide evacuation in preparation. But what
if there had been a better solution, only a simple calculation away?
There was no use wasting clock cycles. As soon as the decision was made,
it was carried out. The order was a simple one - "Fire." The AIοΏ½s
feminine voice, solemn and quiet, echoed through the bridges of the manned
vessels, and through the electronic brains of those that were unmanned -
but not uncrewed.
Almost simultaneously, thousands of massive turrets swerved and locked
into place at the command, shafts pointed at the planet far below like so
many accusing fingers. Luminous green energy danced and arced across their
yawning mouths, a glow rivalling that of the sun forming deep within. The
vessels' other lights dimmed, then petered out entirely. Even the primal
power of the mighty atom was dwarfed by the energies that poured into the
batteries.
Shafts of emerald light lanced to the planet below, outshining the
jealous sun, scorching great swaths of land as the infection tried to
retreat from their energy.
And then it happened. All over the globe, massive fireballs began to
spread. The atmosphere itself caught fire, incinerating the blight beyond
recognition even as it fled. Oceans began to boil and entire forests burst
aflame like twigs even before the waves hit, only to be reduced to ash and
vapor in their wake.
The beams of light died as the inferno began to gain a life of its
own. The fleet drifted, silent and dark, high above. Several vessels lay
shattered, torn apart as the terrible fury proved too great to contain, but
most survived, remaining dark to mourn the immense loss they had inflicted
upon themselves.
And soon, it was done. The infection was purged. But in its place
lay a truly dead planet, its surface charred and blackened. Feeble embers
dotted the landscape, struggling to burn in the depleted atmosphere.
And now? Now, they must rebuild. It would be long, and hard, but--
Wait.
The tumbling lunar fragments. A small subroutine had been idly plotting
their trajectories, as one might drum one's fingers in tension. But there
was one-- no, three-- no, a dozen pieces whose motion was outside the
margin of error.
Suddenly, instinctively - if entirely manufactured beings can be said to
have instincts - it knew. A back-up plan. Seeds that lay waiting, waiting
for the opportunity to flee to some other unfortunate world... and start
the process over again.
Orders blasted through the fleet, riding waves swifter by far than radio.
Intercept! Disable! Destroy! The manned ships were still wholly blind,
drifting under minimal power, and were slow to move as their reactors
strained to reactivate. The AI ships were more ready by far, but the
massive expenditure of energy had taken its toll on them as well, and the
fleet, all in all, was only able to destroy nine of the seeds before they
were able to shed their terrestrial husks and begin their flights.
The three that remained had escaped. They were fast - faster than
anything the fleet had left; they were on courses for inhabited worlds, all
of which were too technologically backward to even begin to face such a
threat.
This was the most dire of circumstances. The darkest of hours. At this
point, it was the worst of possibilities.
But the enemy were not the only ones to make backup plans...
-*G*-
And now the fun really begins! Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to
anime-influenced high-octane science-fiction fun. Welcome to Biomechanical
Angel GENESIS!
--Andrew
Welcome indeed. This project's been in the works, one way or another,
for over a year now, starting the day I showed Andrew the first episode of
the anime 'King of Braves GaoGaiGar'. That's likely the biggest single
influence here; I'll explain more about the evolution of Genesis the
character another time, but suffice it to say, this wouldn't be here if not
for that show.
Let me be perfectly clear: We want and need critique. Especially me,
as I'm the less experienced writer of the pair, though I'm sure Drew will
welcome it as well. Opinions! Things you liked! Things you didn't! We're
all ears (well, eyes)!
--Edward
Dave Van Domelen
May 16, 2012, 3:36:34 PM5/16/12
to
In article <1wky2ypl0947e$.18gjkhso5g5d5$.d...@40tude.net>,
Dave Dan Domelen...er, Van Domelen.
> Welcome indeed. This project's been in the works, one way or another,
>for over a year now, starting the day I showed Andrew the first episode of
>the anime 'King of Braves GaoGaiGar'. That's likely the biggest single
>influence here; I'll explain more about the evolution of Genesis the
>character another time, but suffice it to say, this wouldn't be here if not
>for that show.
"Suffice"? Bah, with guts it will be 100%!
>for over a year now, starting the day I showed Andrew the first episode of
>the anime 'King of Braves GaoGaiGar'. That's likely the biggest single
>influence here; I'll explain more about the evolution of Genesis the
>character another time, but suffice it to say, this wouldn't be here if not
>for that show.
Dave Dan Domelen...er, Van Domelen.
Scott Eiler
May 17, 2012, 8:16:39 PM5/17/12
to
On 05/16/2012 12:27 AM, Edward Protera wrote:
> Let me be perfectly clear: We want and need critique. Especially me,
> as I'm the less experienced writer of the pair, though I'm sure Drew will
> welcome it as well. Opinions! Things you liked! Things you didn't! We're
> all ears (well, eyes)!
> --Edward
Well, since you asked...
> Let me be perfectly clear: We want and need critique. Especially me,
> as I'm the less experienced writer of the pair, though I'm sure Drew will
> welcome it as well. Opinions! Things you liked! Things you didn't! We're
> all ears (well, eyes)!
> --Edward
> The tumbling lunar fragments. A small subroutine had been idly plotting
> their trajectories, as one might drum one's fingers in tension. But
there
> was one-- no, three-- no, a dozen pieces whose motion was outside the
> margin of error.
fragments. I had to reread the story twice to find out what moon was
around when the planet was blown up. (I don't think moons get to be
planets too.)
But that's all I've got for critique. Your wording, your drama, and
your plotline seem impeccable so far. Off to a good start.
And Andrew should probably find more people to help him write. 8{D>
Edward Protera
May 17, 2012, 10:47:27 PM5/17/12
to
On Fri, 18 May 2012 00:16:39 +0000 (UTC), Scott Eiler wrote:
> > The tumbling lunar fragments. A small subroutine had been idly plotting
> > their trajectories, as one might drum one's fingers in tension. But
> there
> > was one-- no, three-- no, a dozen pieces whose motion was outside the
> > margin of error.
>
> Perhaps "planetary" might be a better word than "lunar" to describe the
> fragments. I had to reread the story twice to find out what moon was
> around when the planet was blown up. (I don't think moons get to be
> planets too.)
Actually, there is a moon. It's mentioned on the cover and in the first
> > The tumbling lunar fragments. A small subroutine had been idly plotting
> > their trajectories, as one might drum one's fingers in tension. But
> there
> > was one-- no, three-- no, a dozen pieces whose motion was outside the
> > margin of error.
>
> Perhaps "planetary" might be a better word than "lunar" to describe the
> fragments. I had to reread the story twice to find out what moon was
> around when the planet was blown up. (I don't think moons get to be
> planets too.)
paragraph... and the planet didn't get blown up so much as it did scorched
and blackened.
> But that's all I've got for critique. Your wording, your drama, and
> your plotline seem impeccable so far. Off to a good start.
>
> And Andrew should probably find more people to help him write. 8{D>
Scott Eiler
May 17, 2012, 11:19:53 PM5/17/12
to
On 5/17/2012 7:47 PM, Edward Protera wrote:
> On Fri, 18 May 2012 00:16:39 +0000 (UTC), Scott Eiler wrote:
>
>> > The tumbling lunar fragments. A small subroutine had been idly plotting
>> > their trajectories, as one might drum one's fingers in tension. But
>> there
>> > was one-- no, three-- no, a dozen pieces whose motion was outside the
>> > margin of error.
>>
>> Perhaps "planetary" might be a better word than "lunar" to describe the
>> fragments. I had to reread the story twice to find out what moon was
>> around when the planet was blown up. (I don't think moons get to be
>> planets too.)
>
> Actually, there is a moon. It's mentioned on the cover and in the first
> paragraph... and the planet didn't get blown up so much as it did scorched
> and blackened.
Yeah, I found the moon back there in the first paragraph. Now I'll have
> On Fri, 18 May 2012 00:16:39 +0000 (UTC), Scott Eiler wrote:
>
>> > The tumbling lunar fragments. A small subroutine had been idly plotting
>> > their trajectories, as one might drum one's fingers in tension. But
>> there
>> > was one-- no, three-- no, a dozen pieces whose motion was outside the
>> > margin of error.
>>
>> Perhaps "planetary" might be a better word than "lunar" to describe the
>> fragments. I had to reread the story twice to find out what moon was
>> around when the planet was blown up. (I don't think moons get to be
>> planets too.)
>
> Actually, there is a moon. It's mentioned on the cover and in the first
> paragraph... and the planet didn't get blown up so much as it did scorched
> and blackened.
to re-read again to figure out the difference between that and the
planet, and why the moon has fragments.
--
(signed) Scott Eiler 8{D> -------- http://www.eilertech.com/ ---------
Let's take a look, if you will, at the Second Amendment of the
Constitution, which protects every American's right to shoot another
American. This cherished constitutional right to shoot people and make
them dead is currently recognized in all fifty states, most recently
Florida.
- The Borowitz Report
(http://www.borowitzreport.com/2012/03/29/an-argument-against-healthcare/),
March 2012.
Andrew Perron
May 18, 2012, 10:02:21 PM5/18/12
to
On Fri, 18 May 2012 03:19:53 +0000 (UTC), Scott Eiler wrote:
> Yeah, I found the moon back there in the first paragraph. Now I'll have
> to re-read again to figure out the difference between that and the
> planet, and why the moon has fragments.
Looking over the cover again, I think I can see where you got confused. To
> Yeah, I found the moon back there in the first paragraph. Now I'll have
> to re-read again to figure out the difference between that and the
> planet, and why the moon has fragments.
break it down: There's one planet, whole, but infected, and one moon,
shattered into tiny fragments, orbiting around it. They zap the planet,
but there are seeds in the moon fragments that zip off toward other worlds.
Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, not very good at descriptions.
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