Thought In Feminism

[Ilya Shambat]

I have been putting a lot of thought into examining the beliefs of the feminists, and some of them have given me things to think about.

One has been the claim that helping “damsels in distress” perpetuates patriarchal attitude that women are helpless, leading people to see women as second-class citizens dependent on men. My response to that is that there are times when all of us need help, and helping out a woman in time of trouble is not patriarchal but human. Sometimes this leads to relationships, at other times it doesn’t. In neither case is it patriarchal. For that matter women can help men in times of trouble as well if they are good human beings, and there is nothing patronizing about it.

Another was that idealizing women subjects them to unrealistic expectations, which can be hard for the woman to live up to. My response to that is that good people regardless of gender demand high standard of conduct of themselves, and in expecting a lot from the partner one is not doing anything that does violence to her values or her propensities. Instead the woman is being rewarded with love and appreciation for the effort that she puts into being her best. Many people see such a thing as vanity or narcissism. No, it is rightfully wanting to be appreciated for the colossal effort that one is putting into being one’s best.

Also we see the claim that seeing there being natural, non-culturally-dependent, differences between men and women is misogynistic. That is simply not true. There are natural, non-culturally-dependent, differences between men and women, and many of them work in favour of women. Women can bear children; men can’t. Women are naturally kinder, prettier and more compassionate than men. Noticing these differences is not misogynistic or anything close to misogynistic. It is seeing areas which, in many cases, work in women’s favour. Noticing such things is not misogyny, it is reality. And, once again, in many cases this works in favour of women.

I have been good to my former wife, and I am good to my daughter. Neither would claim that I am a misogynist or anything of the sort. Feminists have brought to public attention a lot of endemic problems, and in so doing they have done a service to humanity. However I do not believe that they are to have the last word. More thought needs to be done on the subject. I am making my contribution, I hope that others do theirs.