Fifty Joycean conjectures

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Jorn Barger

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Feb 2, 2005, 1:42:22 AM2/2/05
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Evidence and arguments can be found at my website:
http://www.robotwisdom.com/jaj/

1. Joyce never, in fact, protested pandying to Conmee.

2. The girl in 'Araby' was Hanna Sheehy.

3. Yeats planted the seed of a modern Ulysses when Joyce was 16.

4. Joyce propositioned E.M. Cleary by postcard in 1902.

5. Also in 1902 he had an intense infatuation for Maud Gonne.

6. His vision of the birdgirl happened on 15 Aug 1902.

7. His intent that evening was to visit Maud Gonne, not AE.

8. His book of epiphanies was arranged in autobiographical order.

9. Richard Best took the National Library job that Joyce wanted in
1903.

10. Joyce's poems were dropped from "New Songs" because he demanded
payment from AE.

11. Stannie's Dublin Diary is a forgery.

12. Joyce never worked at Clifton School.

13. Gogarty was still at Oxford on 16 June 1904.

14. The "man of Tone" in 'Holy Office' was Arthur Griffith.

15. The two men Joyce offended on 15 August 1904 were Gogarty and
Griffith.

16. Nora's handjob was on 27 Aug 1904.

17. 'Eveline' was explicitly written to persuade Nora to go to Europe.

18. Gogarty threw Joyce out of the Tower for masturbating.

19. Lucia was named after the birdgirl Lucy.

20. The manuscript Joyce burned in 1912 was _Portait_ not _Stephen
Hero_.


Ulysses

21. He drafted the last two chapters of Ulysses in 1914 while writing
Exiles.

22. He also drafted the first chapters of Ulysses before finishing
Portrait.

23. Mulligan's shavingbrush is chryselephantine.

24. Stephen in Proteus overhears his father's rant (in Hades) via ESP.

25. Bloom's twelve adventures form six concentric pairs.

26. The library chapter (Scylla and Charybdis) was first conceived as
chapter two.

27. Eglinton is Scylla, AE Charybdis, Lyster both, and Best neither.

28. Bloom telepathically intercepts the lust between Boylan and Molly
when he's standing midway between them (in Wandering Rocks).

29. The monetary value Boylan mentions to Miss Dunne is
non-coincidentally identical to Bloom's Freeman pay.

30. Mina Kennedy is avoiding Boylan.

31. Gerty is closer to 13 than 20.

32. Gerty never really leans back

33. Bloom was fired from Hely's for flirting with a nun.

34. Bloom unwittingly gives his condom to Bannon.

35. Macintosh set the fire in Beggar's Bush.

36. Bloom's lucky potato is 57 years old.

37. Bloom never knew his mother.

38. The Circe episode embodies an inventory of rhetorical
defense-strategies.

39. Stephen's feet lead Bloom across Temple street, following the path
Stephen used to take to Belvedere in 1894.

40. Bloom awakens Stephen's altruism, while Stephen symmetrically
heals an old injury to Bloom's egoism.

41. The furniture was rearranged by the piano deliverymen.

42. Bloom had hidden the key to his bottom drawer among his books.

43. He contemplates suicide before going to bed.

44. He misremembers the year of Rudy's birth.

45. Molly's menstruation parallels the bloodied walls in Homer.

46. Gabler's edition strips off Joyce's last layer of French polish.


Finnegans Wake

47. The seven not-yets in paragraph 2 are in reverse order.

48. 1132 refers to the four cardinal vignettes: Roderick O'Connor and
St Kevin are opposites (1-1), Berkeley betrays Leary to Patrick (3),
Isolde kisses Tristan (2).

49. Joyce's own encounter with a cad took place on 1 February 1922.

50. The sin in the park depicted in III.iv took place in 1908, with
one-year-old Lucia seeing Joyce's erection.

Alan OBrien

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Feb 3, 2005, 4:39:46 AM2/3/05
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"Jorn Barger" <jo...@enteract.com> wrote in message
news:1107326542.2...@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...

This is all fascinating stuff!; there is so much to think about. Joyce was
the supreme juggler of all time.


Neil Coward

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Feb 4, 2005, 7:29:24 AM2/4/05
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32. Gertie never leaned back???

Have I missed something here.
What does this actually mean? Without getting a copy down from the shelf is
that the bit where she leans back showing her knickerbockers and ol Bloomy
masturbates.
Surely if Joyce wrote that she leaned back then she did lean back. Unless
you are saying it is based on a real life incident where she didn't lean
back. If so, then the key here is "based on" Joyce of course wrote fiction
not a documentary - he didn't have to stick to facts.

I found Ulysses intensely cerebral with no real heart to be honest with you.
Its as if Joyce writes only with his mind not his heart, an example of a
writer who does write from the heart would be Dickens.

"Alan OBrien" <alaneob...@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message
news:CjmMd.4059$N7....@fe1.news.blueyonder.co.uk...

JimC

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Feb 4, 2005, 9:58:58 AM2/4/05
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Neil Coward

> I found Ulysses intensely cerebral with no real heart to be honest with
you.
> Its as if Joyce writes only with his mind not his heart, an example of a
> writer who does write from the heart would be Dickens.
>


You could say this of a man allegedly dismissed for flirting with
a nun?

Of course she could have been a very cerebral nun. Those are
the sexiest kind.

Neil Coward

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Feb 4, 2005, 1:55:21 PM2/4/05
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Your argument makes no sense.
I said Joyce writes like an intellectual with no heart, you come back and
say he flirted with a nun.
Or is your argument he was a bit of a randy old goat so he must write with
heart i.e. don't examine the text just pick an event from his life


"JimC" <j...@jim-collier.com> wrote in message
news:S4MMd.421$lz5...@newssvr24.news.prodigy.net...

Sam Culotta

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Feb 4, 2005, 2:25:56 PM2/4/05
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"Neil Coward" <Neil....@iwantmorespam.com> wrote in message
news:ctvpr3$fkt$1...@hercules.btinternet.com...

> 32. Gertie never leaned back???
>
> Have I missed something here.
> What does this actually mean? Without getting a copy down from the shelf
is
> that the bit where she leans back showing her knickerbockers and ol Bloomy
> masturbates.
> Surely if Joyce wrote that she leaned back then she did lean back. Unless
> you are saying it is based on a real life incident where she didn't lean
> back. If so, then the key here is "based on" Joyce of course wrote fiction
> not a documentary - he didn't have to stick to facts.
>
> I found Ulysses intensely cerebral with no real heart to be honest with
you.
> Its as if Joyce writes only with his mind not his heart, an example of a
> writer who does write from the heart would be Dickens.

The entire book is a tribute to his love for Nora. This may be the
greatest, if not, surely the longest Valentine in existence.
The constant thread of Bloom's jealousy, and painful acceptance of Molly's
infidelity, his sense that he doesn't deserve to be loved by her, is
heartbreaking..

I guess it's all in the reception.

Sam

tejas

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Feb 4, 2005, 6:27:44 PM2/4/05
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"Neil Coward" <Neil....@iwantmorespam.com> wrote in message
news:cu0gep$eft$1...@sparta.btinternet.com...

> Your argument makes no sense.
> I said Joyce writes like an intellectual with no heart, you come back and
> say he flirted with a nun.
> Or is your argument he was a bit of a randy old goat so he must write with
> heart i.e. don't examine the text just pick an event from his life

You appear to be quite the prig.

ObBook: THE PLAGUE by A. Camus

T.


Miles Bader

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Feb 4, 2005, 8:22:10 PM2/4/05
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"Neil Coward" <Neil....@iwantmorespam.com> writes:
> an example of a
> writer who does write from the heart would be Dickens.

I'd rather say Dickens wrote from the stomach...

-Miles
--
"Suppose we've chosen the wrong god. Every time we go to church we're
just making him madder and madder." -- Homer Simpson

Neil Coward

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Feb 5, 2005, 5:23:25 AM2/5/05
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do you know what that word means?


"tejas" <tbsa...@infionline.net> wrote in message
news:QxTMd.557$wK....@newsread3.news.atl.earthlink.net...

tejas

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Feb 5, 2005, 8:20:01 AM2/5/05
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"Neil Coward" <Neil....@iwantmorespam.com> wrote in message
news:cu26qt$r2e$1...@titan.btinternet.com...

> do you know what that word means?

I'm threatened with a nerf pandy-bat.

ObBook: PANDY-BATS OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS

T.


James Spencer

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Feb 5, 2005, 10:25:24 AM2/5/05
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Here's my quixotic plea for civility.

This thread started out with the promise of generating some interesting
discussion about something vaguely literary. It has however, as much
newsgroup discussion does, degenerated into really trivial name calling. I
can't imagine why someone would feel the need to respond like they were 7
years old on a school playground just because someone expressed a differing
opinion but could we please stop.

Jorn Barger

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Feb 5, 2005, 11:40:29 AM2/5/05
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Neil Coward wrote:
> 32. Gertie never leaned back???
>
> Have I missed something here? What does this actually mean?

Joyce said repeatedly that the episode takes place in Bloom's
imagination.

Jorn Barger

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Feb 5, 2005, 11:40:30 AM2/5/05
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Neil Coward wrote:
> 32. Gertie never leaned back???
>

Alan Hope

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Feb 5, 2005, 7:26:34 PM2/5/05
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James Spencer goes:

Tell your mummy she should just stop.


--
AH


Neil Coward

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Feb 6, 2005, 7:36:38 AM2/6/05
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OK James, you're right
(Offers handshake to tejas)

"James Spencer" <jspen...@removethis.charter.net> wrote in message
news:0001HW.BE2A4184...@nntp.charter.net...

Jim Ward

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Feb 6, 2005, 11:28:12 PM2/6/05
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On Sat, 05 Feb 2005 10:22:10 +0900, Miles Bader <mi...@gnu.org> wrote:

>"Neil Coward" <Neil....@iwantmorespam.com> writes:
>> an example of a
>> writer who does write from the heart would be Dickens.
>
>I'd rather say Dickens wrote from the stomach...

Swift wrote from the spleen.

Kater Moggin

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Feb 7, 2005, 12:50:35 AM2/7/05
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Jim Ward <tomca...@NyOaShPoAoM.com>:

> >> a writer who does write from the heart would be Dickens.
> > I'd rather say Dickens wrote from the stomach...

> Swift wrote from the spleen.

Baudelaire!

-- Moggin

sanjay...@marriott.com

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Feb 7, 2005, 8:49:16 AM2/7/05
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Why do you say Gertie never leaned back?. By your logic, Gertie may
not have been there at all, nor the fireworks nor the chants to the
Virgin Mary. After Bloom is finished relieving himself and sees she's
"lame", he even says, "Glad I didn't know it when she was on show."

I think Joyce meant that it was only in Bloom's head that Gertie
acknowledged and reciprocated his flirtations, when in fact she noticed
him, but was far from interested ("...she noticed at once that that
foreign gentleman that was sitting on the rocks looking was *Cuckoo
Cuckoo Cuckoo*.")

David Heath

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Feb 7, 2005, 10:52:27 PM2/7/05
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"Miles Bader" <mi...@gnu.org>

>
> I'd rather say Dickens wrote from the stomach...
>
> -Miles
> --

Yah, or maybe the pancreas, given the occasionally excessive sugar content.

David


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