********* KOR NOVEL TRANSLATION v1.3 **********

[Lionel Lum]

Yep, for those who missed it, here is a re-post of the translation of
the KOR Novel. Note that this is TRANSLATION VERSION v1.3, edited to
eliminate any margin problems in any text reader. *Whew!*

If your mailer cannot receive the whole text from r.a.a, please e-mail
me at ryo...@netcom.com, so I can mail you a copy.

For those who couldn't handle and convert the funky Mac text on their
PC clones, this is a PC-edited version Payne's translation of the KOR
novel. Doing my best to remain absolutely faithful to Payne-sensei's
translation, I've only re-paginated, spell-checked, and re-marginated
the text to a final version that's easy to read like any book. Much
kudos from me goes to Payne on this wonderful translation; indeed, a
most laborious job done by him for us KORies fans. If I look back on
this now, if it wasn't for his KORies newsletter some 3 years ago, I
would not be the KOR fan I am today. :) Enjoy!
- Lionel "Kyousuke" Lum
Translation Version 1.3 Dated 1-13-95

SHIN-KIMAGURE ORANGE ROAD
Capricious Orange Road

A novel by Matsumoto Izumi and Terada Kenji

(C) 1994 I.MATSUMOTO K.TERADA
Printed in Japan

Published by Kabushiki Gaisha Shueisha
Tokyo-to Chiyoda-ku
Hitotsu-bashi 2-5-10 JAPAN 101-50

Translation by Peter Payne
c/o Yanai Shoten 4235 Hashie-cho
Isesaki-shi JAPAN 372

Translator's notes

_SHIN KIMAGURE ORANGE ROAD_ is a novel by the original creator of
Orange Road, Matsumoto Izumi, and Kenji Terada, a novelist and
screenplay writer who has written scenarios for games like "Final
Fantasy" and others. It details the lives of the Orange Road characters
three years after the end of the Orange Road Movie. To Orange Road
fans, it is a very important document. When I finally tracked down a
copy of the book, in a rural book store in Isesaki, Japan (incidentally
the birthplace of Adachi Mitsuru, an artist of _Touch_, _H2 _and many
other mangas), I knew I had to translate it for the enjoyment of
American fans of the series.

Note: I am a spoiled Mac user and unused to the inconvenience of
"vanilla ASCII," but I am told we live in a PC-dominated world, and
this is the standard. Would everyone please buy Macs so we can move
technology forward a little? The novel has 15 or so black and white
illustrations and one color one, all of which will be posted in JPEG
format. Please enjoy.

Legal stuff: This is an unofficial translation done without the prior
knowledge or consent of the authors or publishers of the original work.
It was not done for the purpose of profit or intention of denying it
to the authors or publishers. Rather, it was made to enlighten fans of
Orange Road who aren't lucky enough to read Japanese. I did the
translation partially as a way of saying "thank you" to Matsumoto-sensei
for all the Japanese I have learned from the Orange Road manga and
series over the years, and to try to give back something to anime
fandom in the English-speaking world.

For purposes of future corrections, etc., this is _translation
version 1.1_. I have done my best to check the text for typing errors,
omitted words, and so on, but some will no doubt remain in the text.
I invite anyone with an interest to inform me of errors so that they
can be corrected in the future. If anyone is competent at programming
with Hypercard and would like to make an EB of this file, please
contact me. If anyone is good at gaming and would like to turn the
Orange Road RPG into a real gaming system, please contact me.

_Shin Kimagure Orange Road_ is a "postcard translation"--if you read
it, send a postcard of wherever you are from to me, Peter R. Payne.

I am an "English" "teacher" who "teaches" at a private "school" in
Gunma-prefecture, Japan, in the exact center of Japan's main island
of Honshu. I have resided in Japan since October, 1991. I am one of
the founders of "SEISHUN SHITEMASU: a bunch of guys with a VCR," a
group from San Diego, California making fan re-dubs of Japanese
animation into English. (Our name comes from Kyosuke's narration
before the opening credits in episodes 1-15, and means "I'm living
the springtime of my youth.") Our titles include "Robotech III: Not
Necessarily the Sentinels," "Robotech IV: Khyron's Counterattack,"
"Laputa II: The Sequel" and many others. Orange Road fans might get
a kick out of one of our earlier productions, "Kimagure Orange Road:
The Akira Story" (warning: you might hate it). These videos are
available free. Mail videocassettes (regular or SVHS, no Goldstars,
please) with SASE to Adam Chaney, P.O. Box 261702, San Diego, CA
92126, USA. For more information write Adam in the States or me in
Japan at the address above.

Finally, as you read the translation, I would like you to have some
inkling of the scale of this project, how many hours I spent, sitting
in Skylark and Denny's restaurants with my Powerbook with my shoes
off, having Japanese people staring at me like I was the only gaijin
they'd ever seen pecking away on his Powerbook (like maybe 75 to 100
of them). I hope you read this translation and spread it around to
other fans. Long live anime.

Thank you.

Peter R. Payne
October 1994

PROLOGUE

A freighter headed for some foreign country blows its whistle in
the distance: two times, three times. Sitting on the handrail of the
bridge, you stare at the lights out in the bay, not bothering to turn
your head at the sound. I look at your silhouette and feel happy.
Yokohama Bay Bridge...
The wind blows off the surface of the water and carries a sweet
smell to the tip of my nose. It passes through my whole body, until I
feel like I'm going to pass out.
It's always the same. That sweet scent that Madoka Ayukawa gives
off. Like the particles of light that Tinkerbell uses to charm people
with. Always the same, this whimsical angel, who pours the sweet smell
into me. I breathe deeply, and let the smell enter me. Sometimes I
get angry at myself for being such a pervert. But tonight it's okay.
Ayukawa has promised me, tonight is "that" kind of night.
"Stop it, Kasuga-kun."
"Huh?" I said.
"You've got something dirty on your mind don't you?" Ayukawa said.
I got ruffled. "What are you talking about?"
"I knew it." She pointed a slender forefinger at my nose. Her hair
moved, sending the angel smell to me again. "I can tell whenever you're
thinking about sex."
"No, I wasn't--"
"You're just a sex fiend!" she said, then laughed.
She's really been laughing a lot tonight, like someone full of too
much life. The couples around us all turn and look at us like we're
bothering them somehow. Ayukawa laughs even more loudly, this time on
purpose.
"Ayukawa, everyone's looking this way."
"It's okay, let them look."
She laughed again, but then made a serious face suddenly, grabbing
my shirt collar and pulling me towards her.
"Ayukawa."
"Let's kiss, Kasuga-kun."
My heart stopped for a moment.
She said, "Don't be stupid. I'm nervous, too, being here, alone
with you. This is all a new experience for me, too, you know."
So, that's why Ayukawa's been acting strangely tonight--she's
feeling giddy, too, just like me. She was acting the same way back
in Chinatown, laughing and talking too much.
"Ayukawa--" I put my arm around her shoulder, and pressed my lips
against hers.

We were in a bar on the top floor, that looks out on the Bay Bridge.
A black man was playing jazz piano softly at the back of the room. We
were the youngest of any of the patrons there, so whenever Ayukawa
laughed, everyone glared at us.
"Anyway, congratulations," Ayukawa said. "For the third time this
evening, _kampai!_"
We touched our glasses together.
"You know, it is really incredible, Kasuga-kun. I think your
father's talent as a photographer must have rubbed off on you."
"It was just a coincidence."
"No, you're wrong. Kelly Toyama wouldn't have chosen your work if
it was just a coincidence."
"Jeez, Kelly, Kelly, you've been talking about nothing else this
evening."
"Don't be jealous. He's a really popular fashion photographer.
You've got a bright future ahead of you, but compared to him, you're
just a newcomer."
Then she laughed again. It must be the alcohol. Her cheeks were
a little red. You see, tonight is our night of quiet celebration. I
won first prize in a photo contest sponsored by our university (1).
The judge was the famous fashion photographer and alumnus of my
university, Kelly Toyama. I didn't know it before, but Ayukawa has
been a big fan of his for a long time. Anyway, that's why we're at
this hotel, celebrating. We've promised to stay out all night and
greet the morning together.
"What present would you like?" Ayukawa had said to me when I was
chosen for the award.
"Hm?" I had said.
"Yeah, I'm going to give you a present, for winning the contest.
You know, it hasn't been announced yet, but I'll bet whatever you get
as first prize will be something valuable."
"You think so?"
She nodded eagerly. Her eyes were beautiful.
I entered the same university as Ayukawa this spring, but for some
reason, I hadn't been able to decide what I wanted to do there. I
think Ayukawa had been a little worried about me.
I looked into her eyes and said, "Let's see. From Ayukawa, I'd
like to get..."
"Yes?"
When she spoke, I got my courage up a little.
"From Ayukawa, I'd like something worth at least as much as
whatever I get for winning first prize. Something very personal.
Maybe even you."
My courage left me at that point, and I just laughed nervously and
shrugged. Now that we had the College Entrance Examination behind us,
Ayukawa and I had gotten into the habit of kissing casually. But we
haven't done _it_ yet. Ayukawa's parents are famous musicians, and
they're always out of the country giving concerts. We've had plenty
of chances to do it while they were away, but then there was the issue
of betraying her parent's trust. We'd been good so far.
I'm Kasuga Kyosuke, 19 years old. If I said I had no desire for
sex, it would be a lie. I just haven't been able to get up the courage
to coax her into it.
Ayukawa seemed a little surprised by what I had just said. But
when I smiled at her, she looked at me with those teasing eyes of hers.
"Wow, that's great, Kasuga-kun. I admire your confidence."
But I had been too bold, I knew, and now I was embarrassed.
Still in her teasing voice, she said, "Keep on being bold like
that, and you never know..." That was her way of saying yes.
Now, back at the hotel bar, Ayukawa picked up the fresh glass
that had been brought, and stood up. "Okay, here's my present to
you, Part One."
"Part One?"
Ayukawa looked at me with tipsy eyes, and winked. She raised
the glass, making a signal for another _kampai_, and said, "I've
written a song for my brave, self-confident Kasuga-kun. The title
is _Kyosuke #1_."
She went over to the piano, put her glass on it, and whispered
something to the black piano player. In a way that told me he had
been consulted about this ahead of time, he finished his song with
a quick ad lib and handed his seat over to Ayukawa. Ayukawa didn't
look at me anymore.
She swallowed the contents of her glass, and suddenly started
to play. The song had a forceful opening that immediately went to
work on your emotions. It went on to suggest a gentle, vast sea,
before suddenly increasing in volume again.
_Kyosuke #1_, the song was called. _Kyosuke #1_.
I wasn't sure if this kind of violent, forceful song fit my
personality. Unless it meant that, in Ayukawa's eyes, this is the
Kyosuke she wants me to be. Or perhaps the song represents how she
feels about me. Could it be such a intense thing? Whatever it
means, what is about to happen tonight is somehow, somehow, so
severe, so exciting, I can't stand to contemplate it.
As I got more and more interested in Ayukawa's song, I realized
my throat was dry. I swallowed the drink I had been sipping with
one gulp and ordered another. I took the glass that the boy brought
me. He was muttering something about the minimum age for alcohol
and tobacco being 20 years old.
How beautiful Ayukawa is, playing with so much passion. She was
like a goddess, brilliant and beautiful but totally unapproachable.
By the time Ayukawa's song reached its climax, my vision seemed
covered with a bright light. For a moment, I lost consciousness.
When I came back, I felt like a bird floating on the wind. I
lifted up my hands, and wandered towards the swirls of light that
were all around me. I couldn't hear any sound at all. Not
_Kyosuke #1_, not the admiring voices of the people in the bar. All
noise was gone.
I continued to fall into that world of light.
As I fell, I heard the sound of sea birds. Next I heard the
fog horn of a ship. Then, a crashing sound. I was lying on top of
something. There was no pain; on the contrary, it was a pleasant
feeling.
The light faded from my view. No, actually, another light came
to me as the first light disappeared. It was the morning sun.
White, white sheets. A sweet smell. I was sitting on a bed.
At my fingertips was Ayukawa's long, black hair. She was still
breathing deeply in sleep. Her long hair. Her milk-white cheek.
I lifted up the sheet to see her body, naked as the day she was born,
inhaling and exhaling innocently, like a child. Had we joined?
Outside the window, a sea bird made a high-pitched cry. The
angel sleeping by my side opened her eyes. She smiled a little
shyly, then said:
"Good morning."
But just then, the phone beside the bed rang with a piercing
sound. That's the beginning of this story.
It was a man. He sounded upset.
"Kyosuke! Watch out for cars!"
"Cars?" I said. "Who the hell are you?"
"I'm you! I'm Kyosuke Kasuga!"
This brought me out of the dream I had been having and pulled me
back into reality.

PART I

"You're me? What the hell are you talking about?!"
I sat up in bed. At that moment, Jingoro, who had been in bed
with me, let out a cry.
"Nevermind that, just listen! You have to be careful of cars!"
"Don't try to jerk me around! What are you thinking, calling a
person like this! Even pranks have a limit, you know!"
My anger got control of me, and I slammed the receiver down.
I had been experiencing a wonderful dream of spending the night
with Ayukawa. When a dream like that is interrupted, even Kyosuke
Kasuga--usually quieter than most people--is going to get angry.
Shit! It was just getting interesting, too.
Then: "Oniichan (2), I need to use the phone. Are you awake?" It
was my sister Manami's voice.
"I'm going to switch it back to the living room now. Do you mind?"
After eleven p.m., the telephone is set so that it switches to my
room. Ostensibly, the reason for this is so that emergency calls
from our father, who is overseas on a photography assignment, can get
through directly to me. But in reality, the reason is so that I can
talk to Ayukawa late at night.
"Go ahead," I answered angrily. "There might be a weird phone
call, though."
"What's wrong with you?"
Manami's twin sister, Kurumi, opened the door and peered in.
"You don't mean a perverted phone call so early in the morning,
do you?" Kurumi said.
I let slip without thinking: "No, no, a phone call that
interrupted something perverted."
"Oh, gross, Oniichan! What are you talking about with Madoka-san
every night?" Manami said.
"Manami-chan, Oniichan's talking about 'a' and 'fu' and 'u.'"
Manami didn't know what Kurumi meant.
"_A-fuhn ! (3) A-fuhn!_ And _touch me there_ and _oh_ and _not
there!_"
"_Baka!_"
"Now that you mention it, Oniichan has been going through an awful
lot of tissues recently."
"Oh gross!" Manami said.
I threw my pillow as hard as I could at the open door; Kurumi
and Manami fled.
"Jesus! Was I like that when I was in high school?"
The damage was already done, so I got out of bed, picked up
Jingoro, trying to escape off the Veranda, and headed into the
bathroom. This slightly fat tortoise-shaped cat has tried to
escape from our house time and time again--things like that really
say something about my family.
The bathroom also serves as Dad's darkroom. For the rest of the
time he's overseas, I'll be developing the film he sends me. Back
when he was working as a landscape photographer, he used a company
to develop his pictures, but recently, he's been taken with a kind
of do-it-yourself-ism, and has been trying to do the developing
himself. I help him when he's away.
It's up to the photographer, Dad often says, to capture the
right moment. But sometimes, he says, when work is handed from
one group to another it gets stolen. I'm not sure I agree with
him on that subject.
He also talks about how much he loves being a landscape
photographer, but if so, I can't understand why he suddenly became
so interested in social problems, and went with the PKO (4) to take
pictures of refugee camps.
I shouldn't criticize him. It's all thanks to Dad's hard work
that we're able to eat everyday. I guess it was because of Dad's
influence that I was able to win first prize in the photography
contest.
Which led to _Argh!_
My winning first prize in the photo contest is the reason
Ayukawa and I will be having our celebration next weekend, that's
why we've got reservations in the hotel overlooking the Bay Bridge.
I took off my pajamas and had a shower. The sound of the water
mixed with Jingoro's cries as he tried to get out of the bathroom.
I had sweat a lot during the night. That's to be expected, I guess,
because I dreamed about doing it with Ayukawa.
I can't quite remember what happened after Ayukawa's song ended,
back in the hotel bar. But at least we greeted the morning together.
Wait a minute! Maybe that dream was a prophetic dream!
Or maybe not. You see, the Kasuga clan has the super-blood
flowing in its veins; I, Kyosuke Kasuga, also possess super powers.
Sometimes I even have dreams about the future before breakfast.
Now that I think of it, when I got the reservations for the
hotel, Ayukawa said, "Let's go to Chinatown for dinner instead of
eating at the hotel." I'm sure we'll go see the night view of
Yokohama, too.
Maybe Ayukawa is busy writing _Kyosuke #1_ now...
"Oniichan, hurry up and finish your shower. I'm waiting," came
the voice of my demanding sister. Morning in the Kasuga house is
always like this.
"High school girls don't need to take a shower in the morning
every day," I said.
"Don't you know? It's dangerous for girls to smell sweaty
these days. Crazy people follow you around. Just the other day,
Komatsu-san and Hatta-san asked me to sell them my sweaty leotards."
"What?!"
Seiji Komatsu and Kazuya Hatta are my evil friends from high
school. It seems like they're planning something with Kurumi and
Manami again.
"Those perverts!"
"Don't tell me you sold them your stinky leotards to them?" Manami
asked.
"_Buun buun!_" Kurumi replied, once again using words no one can
understand. I opened the bathroom door.
"Don't just say _buun buun_. You didn't sell your leotards to
them, right?"
"I didn't sell them," Kurumi said. "I mean, I'd lose money if
I did."
"It's not a matter of losing or gaining money!" I said.
"Oh, but if I sell my leotards to Komatsu and Hatta, they said
they'll pay me twice the original price. They'll even take pictures
of me, for free!"
"Do you mean those perverted _buru-sera_ (5) shops?"
"Yes!" she said.
"Kurumi!"
Without thinking, I ran out of the bathroom.
"Help! Oh gross, Oniichan!"
I covered myself up, but it was too late. These two high school
girls, brimming with curiosity, got a good look at my _musuko_ (6)
even as they were screaming and running away. Thanks to the commotion
of the morning, I forgot all about the mysterious phone call. What
reminded me of it was the Master of ABCB (7), talking about the phone
call he'd gotten from Hikaru-chan in Hokkaido.

*****

"What? Hikaru-chan's going to New York?"
I drank down my hot caf latte in one gulp.
"Yes," Master said. "A few days ago I got a call from Hokkaido.
She said, someday I'm going to New York, absolutely positively. How's
today's batch of caf latte?"
"Ah, it's good. But maybe a bit too much milk. It's kind of
sweet."
"Ah, of course, I should make it foam a little more."
Master shook his head and, taking a big cup reserved for himself,
turned again to the caf latte machine. Master had gone all the way
to Seattle in America to buy the caf latte machine. You use the
machine to foam some warm milk, then add espresso coffee to it.
"Some might say that this place is just a small coffee shop," he
had said, "so there's no need to go to all the trouble to get this
machine. But I don't agree. I think a person has to stay interested
and energetic in his work all the time."
These days he's been talking a lot like that.
Ayukawa, who comes to help out from time to time, usually tells
him, "It's good that you're putting effort into your work, but you
really should stop keeping to yourself all the time and get out more.
If you don't stop thinking of your ex-wife, there's never going to be
anyone else."
"Well, it's good that Hikaru-chan's _genki_," I said now.
"Yes, Hikaru-chan made lots of friends up there. She apologized
for moving away so suddenly, without even saying goodbye to me. She's
a good kid."
At Master's words, I felt a sharp pain in my breast.

Hikaru Hiyama. I will never forget that name as long as I live.
Hikaru-chan was Ayukawa's close friend from childhood, and for a
time, the three of us spent lots of time together, going everywhere
and having fun.
In those days, Ayukawa's parents were out of the country a lot,
and she was kind of a tough girl to get close to. I was the kind of
person who could never make up his mind (although that's still kind
of true now), and as a result, I was always having problems and
misunderstandings with the two of them. But when we were with
Hikaru-chan, every day was happy.
But the time came when the three of us had to stop just piling
up happy memories all the time. We were all becoming adults, and
no matter how much we tried to keep things the way they were,
someday it had to end.
Last summer, when I was studying for the College Entrance
Examinations, I kissed Hikaru-chan. That hurt Ayukawa very badly.
After that, our happy triangle came crashing down around our ears.
I finally had to tell Hikaru-chan that we shouldn't see each other
anymore.
"Madoka-san! Madoka-san, that was so unfair of you! Have you
done anything for Kasuga-senpai?" Hikaru had said to Ayukawa at ABCB,
her words full of blame. "I can do anything. If it's for senpai, I
can do anything."
Another time, she had pulled on my sleeve pathetically, pleading:
"Is it me? I'm not good enough for you? I can't give you up,
Kyosuke-senpai. Look at me, please. Don't ignore me!"
I'm sorry, Hikaru-chan. I didn't ignore you. We just couldn't
go on like that anymore. Laughing. Having fun together. It had to
end sometime.
Right about the time Ayukawa and I entered college, Hikaru-chan
moved to the city of Otaru in Hokkaido. On the day she moved, I got
a call from her from Haneda Airport.
"Is this senpai? Ta-da! I know you said not to call anymore,
but it's me, Hikaru Hiyama, coming to you live!"
Hikaru-chan sounded so cheerful and bright. She told me she
was headed for Hokkaido, thanks for everything, _sayonara_, then
hung up. After that, I got a call from Ayukawa. She had gotten
a call from Hikaru-chan, too.
Ayukawa and I headed for the airport on her motorcycle. But
the plane departing Haneda Airport for Sapporo had already left.
"I didn't know. I didn't know she was moving. I didn't know."
"Ayukawa."
"This is the first time this has ever happened. Hikaru has
never done anything so important without consulting me first."
Next Ayukawa dropped her helmet on the floor of the airport
and started sobbing uncontrollably.
Ayukawa hadn't told me, but I could tell she had been upset over
Hikaru-chan for a while. In the end, there was no avoiding that
the two of us had to live apart from her. Still, I knew that Ayukawa
would never be able to forgive herself.
"Ayukawa!"
I embraced her, but she continued crying like a woman gone insane.
She slammed her body against the wall of the waiting room lobby
again and again. I couldn't do anything to stop her. Then I put my
body between her and the wall, thinking I would take Ayukawa's place,
and slammed my head against the wall again and again. Only then did
her rage at herself subside, but she continued sobbing as she clung
to me. That was when I realized how many times stronger Ayukawa's
sadness was than my own.
On our way home from the airport, we stopped at Taiba Park,
across from Tokyo bay. It was still a little cold, but beyond the
artificial sand of the beach many windsurfers could be seen. We
stared silently at them until the lights on the Rainbow Bridge,
still under construction across from us, came on.
After a while, Ayukawa said, "If I had known it was going to
come to this, I would have taken her here when I had the chance.
She had always wanted to try windsurfing. She said to me once,
before they finish the Rainbow Bridge, please teach me. By the
time the bridge is completed, you'll be a famous star, and then
you won't have the time."
"Ayukawa."
"I told her, if she managed to stand up once, I'd give her my
old board. I told her that! And now, in Hokkaido, she won't be
able to go windsurfing. _Baka_, Hikaru. You've been that way ever
since you were a child."
After that, her words stopped making sense.
I put my hand on her trembling shoulders, but Ayukawa didn't
come to me like she usually did. I knew the reason why. Ayukawa
and I were lucky enough to have someone to put our bodies against,
but Hikaru-chan had to bear her loneliness all alone. Because she
had to get away from us.
No, that's wrong. Because you threw her away, Kyosuke.
You threw her away!
By the time the pleasure boats started casting tiny lights on
the bay, Ayukawa and I had left the park. And we never talked about
Hikaru-chan again.

"Maybe I shouldn't have said anything about Hikaru-chan." Master
looked at me, then put a new caf latte down in front of me, taking
my first cup away.
"Once the milk foam has disappeared, it's best to just get a new
cup. You can't keep it forever. I guess that's like life."
"Eh?" I said.
"I think that it was good for Hikaru-chan to move, to find new
experiences. It was good timing for her." Master winked amiably.
"When two people break up, it's sometimes harder to stay in the
same place. Every place you go, you're reminded of the person you
broke up with."
"Yeah, I guess."
"That's a fair arrangement, isn't it? Hikaru-chan got hurt a
little, and now she's gone. Both you and Madoka-kun are left, with
memories of Hikaru-chan to drag around with you. Someday, Hikaru-chan
will understand how hard that has been for you, too."
I tried to smile, but screwed it up.
"Listen to me talk, I've become the father character in all those
romance movies I used to watch when I was a college student. I've
tried to cheer a young boy up, but instead I've made him depressed."
"No, it's okay. I'm okay, Master."
"Oh yes, about Hikaru-chan and New York. I hadn't finished
telling you. Do you remember the musical she starred in?"
"Ah, yes. I believe it was called 'Downtown Cats.'"
She had said to me, whatever you do, don't forget to come and
see my play. But Ayukawa and I hadn't gone. Well _couldnÕt_ go is
a little more accurate.
"Yes. She really enjoyed being in that musical. After graduating
from high school in Otaru, she said she wanted to go to New York. To
study dancing."
"Wow, that's incredible."
"Yes, she was really excited. She said, I don't know how far I
can make it, but I'm going to try anyway. Isn't that great?"
This time I made a real smile, and nodded.
I didn't want Master to think I'm a rotten guy. I wanted him
to see me as the kind of person who would give 100% support to a
Hikaru-chan so full of hope and genki.
But in reality. Somewhere deep in my heart.
I thought, now Hikaru-chan is going to go somewhere even farther
away from me than Hokkaido. The truth is... I was a little sad
about this.
I'm scum, aren't I?
"Kasuga-kun, you've got to work hard at your dreams, too, right?
Now that you've won the first prize in the picture contest."
Just then, several customers came in.
"Master, I'll take water to the customers," I said.
"Hm?"
"I have to work to pay you back for the second cup of caf latte."
It was time for me to head back to school for my afternoon classes.
After taking water to the customers and taking their orders, I left.
It was the kind of day you get after the rainy season has ended, but
before summer has started for real, and I felt somehow at peace. It
was a pleasant feeling.
This kind of weather will only be temporary.
A few days ago, it was raining every day, and everything was
humid and sticky. After this, the hot, humid summer will begin.
But I didn't have the time to enjoy this season like I should. It
would have been nice if I could just stop time.
Yes.
Stop time. Just like in those days.
Back when Ayukawa, Hikaru-chan and I were three friends, together
all the time. I wanted to freeze all those moments in time for all
eternity. Like the day when we went to the beach, and played together,
laughing. I want to go back to that day.
Anyway, I was glad that Master had heard from Hikaru-chan.
Continuing that thought, I recalled the phone call that disrupted
the sweet, sweet dream of this morning.
"Kyosuke! Watch out for cars. I'm you! Kyosuke Kasuga!"
What a shocking phone call to get so early in the morning. And
to pretend to be me, what a stupid prank.
But wait a minute. Who would play a joke like that? Who would
go to all the trouble? Well, maybe Komatsu and Hatta would be capable
of it. But that voice. It wasn't either of them. Now that I think
about it, that voice was just like mine.
Whenever people hear your voice recorded, they usually say, "Is
this my voice?" I hadn't been able to put my finger on it earlier,
but that voice really was a lot like mine. But, how is that possible?
I started to hurry to the train station. I didn't have as much
time to get to class as I'd thought I had. Ayukawa is in my art class.
If I don't show up again this week, she'll probably get angry.
"Kasuga-kun, don't tell me the traffic was backed up because of a
traffic accident again this week, too," she'll say.
Wait a minute. Traffic accident?
The man on the phone, Kyosuke Kasuga. He said, be careful of cars.
Above me, the train was pulling into the station. If I hurry, I can
catch it. But the light at the intersection had changed to red.
"What the hell, go for it!" I said to myself, and ran out into the
intersection. But just at that moment, something bright red appeared
at the edge of my vision, coming towards me.
It was a car!
Just as I realized that the red thing was a Volvo station wagon,
my body recoiled with the shock. Something in my head went boom!
like fireworks. A loud noise sounded in my ears, then everything
became white.
That was when I lost consciousness.

*****

After a time, I woke up.
I mean, I _thought_ I woke up. But things were a little strange.
I had completely regained consciousness, but the people around me
aren't acting as they should.
Wait a minute.
Think very carefully, Kyosuke Kasuga. What's wrong with this
picture? For some reason, I was looking down at my own body. My
body was lying in a hospital bed. A doctor and a nurse were doing
something to me--they're putting an I.V. into my arm.
Isn't it a little strange for a person to be looking down at
himself?
Yes, quite strange!
In addition to the doctor and nurse, Ayukawa, the Master of ABCB,
Kurumi and Manami were in the room. Everyone was looking at me with
saddened eyes. Ayukawa must have come here directly from school,
because she was holding several textbooks. She looks like she would
start crying at any moment.
Manami was already crying. Kurumi was holding Jingoro, making
circles in the air with his paws, and muttering something that sounded
like a magic spell: "_Ururu, ururu_." As usual, no one can understand
what the hell she's talking about.
What's happening to me?

"Have you been able to contact your father?" the nurse said in an
official manner to Madoka. She thought that Madoka was a member of
the Kasuga family.
Manami spoke in place of Madoka. "We called, but haven't been able
to reach him yet."
"Please hurry. With things the way they are, he'll probably..."
Madoka spoke up. "He'll probably what?!"
The nurse said, "I only meant..."
"You don't know what will happen, right? There are still faint
brain waves, and his heart is still beating. You said it was still
beating, right? So what the hell?! What do you mean by 'he'll
probably...'?"
The nurse tried again to speak, but couldn't.
Just then the doctor put himself in between the two women, and
spoke to Madoka. "Of course you're right. There is still a chance
that this patient will live. But one thing is for certain. If he
were a normal human, he would have died already."
"What do you mean by that?" Master asked from behind Madoka.
"I'm not exactly sure. We've done all we can for the patient.
From here on out, it's up to his--how can I put this--his _life
energy_. He has a 'soul' that's many times stronger than normal
humans."
"Stronger than normal humans?" Madoka asked.
"Please try to understand. It's difficult for a physician such
as myself to use such unscientific words."
"So what's going to happen?" asked Kurumi and Manami in unison,
leaning forward.
"The patient's soul is fighting to stay in this world. By this
I mean, the world in which we all live. What's kept him here this
far is his unusual life energy."
After saying this, the doctor couldn't bring himself to continue.
"Well, anyway, let's see how things are a while longer," he said.
He gave some directions to the nurse, then left the room in a hurry.
Master said, "Well, the police and the driver of the car are
waiting in the lobby. I'll go talk to them."
"Thank you, Master," Manami said.
"Don't mention it. Both you and Kurumi-chan, make sure you keep
your wits about you."
"Okay."
Master smiled at the three of them, and left the room.
Master had been the one to inform everyone about Kyosuke's
accident. Right after Kyosuke left the coffee shop, he'd heard
sirens near the station. Getting an uneasy feeling in his chest,
he had run to the station. On his way, he encountered Kyosuke,
who had been hit by a car.
After Master left the room, everything was quiet for a moment.
No--there was Kyosuke's respirator. That was the only thing that
broke that silence.
"Kasuga-kun! Kasuga-kun, don't give up!" Madoka cried.
Then, as if she was the only one in the room who knew Kyosuke's
secret, she whispered: "You're a superman, right? Just like the
doctor said, you've got many times more power than normal people,
right? Don't give in to this! Come back to us!"
"Oniichan!"
Madoka and Manami were clinging to the bed beside Kyosuke.

Oh, Ayukawa!
How could things have come to this?
I guess it's true. I was hit by that Volvo, all because I was
in a hurry. I must have been thinking about Hikaru-chan, instead
of paying attention. If things are really as bad as they seem, I
guess I'm going to die.
But I can't.
What about this weekend, with Ayukawa, and _it_.
On second thought, let's put that aside for now.
But there are still so many things I want to do. And now I'm
going to die. One thing I know for sure, it's not right for a person
to be separated from his body. This is really strange! If what the
doctor says is true, that I possess a soul several times stronger
than normal humans. Couldn't I just get back into my body?
I went down to where my body was, and decided to get inside. But
something went _bump!_, like the sound of hitting a living fish.
"No, Kasuga-kun!"
"Oniichan!"
What's happening?
There was some kind of strong barrier around my body that pushed
me back. Or maybe it the other way around. Maybe the soul is
rejecting the flesh. Just then my cousins Akane and Kazuya entered
the hospital room.
"No, Oniichan!" Kazuya cried. "Why did you die?"
"You klutz, Kyosuke!" Akane added. "Just when you were so happy
about having gotten to the point where you can have sex with Madoka!"
Hey, don't say things like that, Akane!
Manami said, "Wait a minute, Akane and Kazuya. Oniichan isn't
dead yet."
Yes. You tell them, my cute little sister.
"You two are terrible," Kurumi said. "Always jumping the gun."
Good, Kurumi. Sometimes even you say the right thing.
Kurumi went on. "The dying part comes later. He's just resting
right now."
What?!
"Kurumi!"
You know, sometimes I'm ashamed to admit that she's my sister.
Akane said, "Oh, well, it's good that he's still alive. Well,
Kazuya, shall we try the plan that we discussed?"
"Roger!"
"Wait a minute, Akane-chan. What plan?"
Akane said, "Kazuya has telepathy, right?"
Yes, that's right. I've been made to suffer time and time again
at the hands of that esper ability. Kazuya has the ability to read
people's minds. For example, in front of Ayukawa, he would say, "Oh,
Kyosuke-niichan is thinking that he wants to kiss Madoka-neechan
right now."
Ayukawa: "I think I understand. He might be able to find out
what's really wrong with Kasuga-kun, and what we can do to help the
situation."
Akane beamed at Madoka. "Correct! Oh, Madoka-oneechan, you're
right again. Unlike these two empty-heads," Akane said, implying
Manami and Kurumi.
Meanwhile, Kazuya was resting his cheek on Ayukawa's bosum.
"Who are you calling empty-heads?!" Kurumi demanded.
"That Kazuya, he always clings to Madoka-san," Manami said.
You still haven't gotten over that perverted tendency of yours,
have you, Kazuya? Cut it out! I went to poke him in the head, but
then I remembered I had no body.
Shit! I'm totally helpless! This is like that movie "Ghost" I
saw with Ayukawa.
Ayukawa's face was very serious. "Go ahead and try the plan,
Kazuya. We have to try everything." If it had been anyone else
hearing what Akane and Kazuya were saying, they would never have
given them the time of day. But Ayukawa believed 100% in the
strange powers of my family.
I remember the day I first told her about our powers. "Listen,
Ayukawa," I had said then. "There's something very important I have
to tell you."
It was when we had first started going out together, right after
I had broken up with Hikaru-chan. I had kept the esper powers secret
from her for years, but I was unable to do so any longer.
"What is it, Kasuga-kun?" she said, a little surprised, then: "Oh,
I'll bet I know."
"What?" I had said.
"You kissed Hikaru-chan again."
"What? Don't say things like that, Ayukawa!"
She laughed. She hadn't completely forgotten about the time I
kissed Hikaru-chan, apparently. Up til that time, I had tried to kiss
Ayukawa a number of times, but she had always rebuffed me.
I waited until she was finished laughing, then told her all about
the Kasuga family. That we were a family of espers, that we've had
an ancient tradition that forbade the secret of our powers becoming
known to outsiders, and so on.
Ayukawa listened silently to what I had to say, her head cocked
slightly to one side. To tell the truth, I was a little uneasy. I
mean, it sounds really cool to say I'm a superman. But it also
means I'm not a normal human. What if she thought we were monsters?
Instead, after hearing me out, she let out a long sigh. "I see.
That explains everything."
"Huh?"
"I mean, sometimes you do really strange things, Kasuga-kun. That
thought has occurred to me many times."
Sometimes when I'd promised to go on a date with both Ayukawa and
Hikaru-chan at the same time, I'd use teleportation to be with both of
them. This is the kind of thing she had been talking about.
Ayukawa said, "Thank you, Kasuga-kun. For choosing me to tell
your secret to."
"Ayukawa."
"I guess I have to do something to show my thanks, don't I?"
I'm sure I was making a stupid face at the time. Ayukawa came
close to me, and pressed her lips to mine. That was our first kiss (8).

"Okay, here we go, Kyosuke-niichan!" Kazuya said now, in the
hospital room. Kazuya held my body's hand, and took a breath. Ayukawa
and my sisters leaned forward. Even me, floating in the air, found
myself holding my breath as I watched the turn of events.
_Oniichan, it's me, Kazuya. We're all worried about you. Are you
okay?_
"How's it going, Kazuya-kun?" Manami asked.
"It's no good. I can't get any response."
What? No, that can't be. Why can't you hear me, Kazuya? I'm
right here. My soul has just left my body for a while.
"Kyosuke-niichan! Kyosuke-niichan!" Kazuya called.
Kazuya! Hello, Kazuya!
I yelled to Kazuya with all my strength. I hovered in front of
his nose, screaming Kazuya, Kazuya! But he couldn't hear me.
Akane shook her head. "I guess it's not going to work. Kazuya's
powers aren't fully developed yet."
You know, Akane, that's always been your problem--you give up
too easily.
Kurumi said, "Well, Jingoro-chan, it's time to say goodbye to
Oniichan."
"Kurumi-chan!" Manami said.
How many times do I have to tell you, I'm not dead yet!
But even as I said those words, the "me" lying in the hospital
bed seemed to be getting weaker. Up til that time, I could feel a
strong power tying my soul to my body, but now that power seemed to
be lessening.
And when that power is gone...
When that power is gone, my body will die.
And my soul? What's going to happen to my soul?
"Kasuga-kun! Kasuga-kun! Don't give up! Don't give up, do you
hear?"
Like a dam bursting, Ayukawa started to cry. As if carried
away by that, my sisters and cousins began sobbing quietly. But
five minutes later, the situation changed. My grandfather, who has
just rushed here from his house in the countryside, came into the
room and said: "There's nothing to do now but send Kyosuke's soul
into the past!"

*****

"To the past?" Ayukawa said, her eyes filled with tears.
Ojiichan said, "Oh, you're that Madoka girl, Kyosuke's you-
know-what." He held up the pinky of his right hand in a gesture
that meant girlfriend. Once, we had all gone to Ojiichan's house.
Ojiichan was the head of my mother's branch of the family, and
thus, capable of great esper powers.
However: "Well, you're looking sexier than ever. Have you had
sex with Kyosuke yet?"
How can he be like that when his grandchild is probably going
to die?
Manami said, "Ojiichan, we don't have time for that. What do
you mean, send his soul to the past?"
Kurumi piped in, "Yes, what do you mean?"
Go, my sisters. They've finally started concentrating on the
problem at hand.
"Okay, okay, I'll explain it to you. Because our family has
powers different from normal humans, the balance between our souls
and our flesh is very important. Isn't that right, Baachan?"
"Yes," Obaachan agreed, sitting in a chair.
Ayukawa said, "Balance?"
"That's right, Madoka-kun. And now Kyosuke, lying in that bed,
is just one step away from death. But! The life energy of this
family is very powerful. That's why Kyosuke is still alive, why
his soul is trapped between worlds, unable to return to his weakened
body."
"His soul is what?" Ayukawa said.
Akane put in, "Which would mean that is spirit is wandering
around this room somewhere."
Ojiichan said, "Off course, Akane."
Kazuya: "Hey, Kyosuke-niichan, where are you?"
I'm here, Kazuya, I'm here!
Kurumi said, "I'll bet Kyosuke is looking down Madoka-san's
shirt or something right now."
Would you two stop talking like that? Let me think. When I
tried to get into my own body a few minutes ago, it didn't work.
Manami said, "So, what's going to happen to Oniichan?"
"According to what the doctor said, they've done all they can,"
Ayukawa said. "If his body recovers, won't everything be okay?"
"No, even that may be too late," Ojiichan said. "The time during
which a soul can be separated from its flesh is a day. No, more
like half a day. And if the flesh should die during that time...
Oh no!
But what's going to happen to "me" if my body dies?
Ojiichan continued. "If the flesh dies, then Kyosuke's soul
will disband with a _whoosh_!"
Disband?
Ojiichan said, "Isn't that right, Baachan?"
"Yes," she said.
Madoka said, "Kasuga-kun."
Ayukawa.
I guess I only have one more day to live. No, just half a day.
The same goes for our night gazing at the Yokohama Bay Bridge together.
And _it_.
It will all die with me, for all eternity.
Kurumi said, "So you said you were going to send Oniichan's soul
into the past. What does that mean?"
Way to go, Kurumi. We still haven't heard Ojiichan's explanation
about that yet.
Ojiichan cleared his throat. "Yes, well. Kyosuke's soul is
rejecting his weakened body, and so no matter how hard he tries,
he will be unable to re-enter his flesh. So we're going to send
Kyosuke's soul to the past. If we sent him into the future, he
would probably already be dead."
Stop talking that way, I told you!
"In the past, that balance is unaffected, so if he meets himself,
he can re-join with the flesh then. When that happens, the Kyosuke
of the present should come back to life."
Hmm, this isn't as easy as I'd hoped. I need to find myself in
the past, and with his cooperation, get myself out of this predicament.
"Okay, let's get started right away," Ojiichan said, and began
chanting something.
"Kasuga-kun!" Ayukawa said.
I looked down at her, and to my sadness, I couldn't feel the
warmth of her hand holding mine.
Ojiichan's chanting filled the room. I'm sure he was chanting it
normally, but to me it seemed like a flood of sound filling my ears.
Then everything that I had been looking at Ayukawa, so sad, my
own body, groaning in agony everything began to waiver in front of
me, like the horizon in the desert on hot day. Then, just as it
seemed that Ojiichan's spell would break the walls of the room, I was
cast into a blinding world of light.
Then I found out that even ghosts can lose consciousness. In the
center of that light, I began to fade away. Just then, I heard
Ojiichan's voice:
"Oh no! Instead of sending Kyosuke's soul to the past, I've sent
him to the future!"

PART II

The future?
But I had no way to ask what Ojiichan had meant.
I came out of that world of light, and fell through a space
filled with colors that changed all around me. I was flying through
other dimensions. Ojiichan said he'd sent me into the future, but I
think he was wrong. I was dead, and I was falling straight down
into heaven. As if to prove I was right, I found myself gently
touching down on a cloud, with angels all around me.
But in reality, it wasn't a cloud. It was a thorn bush.
"Ouch!"
I hit my head hard against the ground, and that was when I
realized that I wasn't among any angels.
"Where is this?" I said.
It was a place I was very familiar with. I was at the bottom
of the Hundred Stairs.
But why was I here?
I felt a little it at a loss as I looked up those never-ending
steps. If you climb to the top, there's a small park, and beyond
that, my family's apartment building. It was here that I first met
Ayukawa. I remember that day well. I had just moved to this area.
On my way back from picking up the nameplate for our new
apartment, I had climbed these stairs, counting: "ichi, ni,..." When
I was near the top, I witnessed a bright red UFO flying above me.
But it wasn't a UFO. It was a red straw hat which Madoka Ayukawa had
cast into the wind for fun.

I jumped up and caught the hat.
"Got it!"
From above me, I heard her voice.
"Nice catch!"
That was the first time I laid eyes on Madoka Ayukawa.
"I threw it into the wind just now. I'm glad you caught it. I
thought it was going to go all the way down."
I'm sure I was making the ultimate stupid face. It was all I
could do to utter a meaningless laugh, as I took in her long, black
hair, her deep eyes, her soft, pert lips, that grown-up look that
could only be called sexy.
"It would have been terrible. These stairs go on forever."
"Um, yeah. They do."
What a stupid line! _Baka!_
"Yes, there are ninety-nine of them."
"Huh?" I said. Continuing my count, I climbed to the top.
"Ninety-seven, ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred!"
"What?" she said. "You're wrong. There are only ninety-nine!"
"But I counted them all the way from the bottom."
"That can't be right. When I counted them, there were only
ninety-nine." She was riled up now, and it made her even more
beautiful. I struggled to calm myself.
"Are you sure you didn't count wrong?" I asked.
"What about you? Maybe you counted wrong."
"No, I'm sure. There were one hundred stairs."
"Ninety-nine!"
"One hundred!"
"Ninety-nine!"
I've been told I was too passive ever since I was a child, but
just then, I had a good idea.
"Well, how about this? We'll compromise. There are 99.5 stairs!"
Ayukawa looked surprised for a second, then laughed with that
sweet voice of hers.

Ayukawa.
But I don't have time right now to sit around and bask in
memories. I've found out _where_ I am, but I have to found out
_when_, and what's happened to my body in this time. I know I
heard Ojiichan say, "Oh no, I've sent him to the future!"
But if that's true... And if I did die back there. Then that
means I don't exist in the future. So _what_ am I? A ghost?
That was when I noticed something strange. Even though I was
supposed to be just a spirit, I now possessed a body.
"Possess" is kind of a strange way of putting it, but I was
here, body and all. And my head, which I bumped back there at the
bottom of the stairs, still hurt.
Standing here confused wasn't going to accomplish anything, so
I started for home. The apartment building looked a little more
worn than I'd remembered, but everything else was the same. But
when I started to enter the building, I looked at the nameplate in
the lobby, and was instantly shaken. The Kasuga name was gone from
apartment 307.
Maybe they changed apartments. Maybe that was it. I checked
the other floors, but the name of Kasuga wasn't there.
There was more. I looked at the date on the circulating
message board, used to tell tenants about meetings, events, etc.,
and was shocked.
The date on it was July 23, 1994!
1994? That's three years in the future!
Three years. And now my family has moved out of this apartment
building. Maybe they had to move because of Dad and that recent
interest in social problems of his. We were making a good enough
living back when he was a landscape and studio photographer, but
maybe he was killed while overseas? Unable to pay the rent, Manami
and Kurumi were forced to move?
But it wasn't the time or place for me to be making random
guesses like that. Was I even alive in this world of three-years
-later? What about Manami? Kurumi? And what about Ayukawa...
I realized and started panicking. Anyway, this is how I found
myself in the world of the future, searching for myself.

*****

"What? 1994?" Ayukawa asked Ojiichan.
"Yes. Probably."
Manami: "Wait a minute, Ojiichan, 'Probably' isn't good enough!"
"Yes," Kurumi said, "you said 'Oh no!' when you sent Oniichan's
spirit to the future."
Ojiichan was flustered. "Sorry, I did it backwards."
"Backwards?!" the twins exclaimed.
There was no guarantee that Kyosuke would be alive in the future.
If his body in front of them were to die, then his spirit would
disappear, even though it had been sent into the future.
But just then, Kyosuke's body, lying in the bed, let out a little
moan, as if to stop the arguing that had begun around him.
"Kasuga-kun! Kasuga-kun!" Madoka held tight to his hand. "He's
not dead, he's not. Look at him breathing. His body isn't dead!
How can you say that his soul has left his body?"
Madoka swallowed the rest of her words. Even if the spirit
disappeared, you couldn't be sure if the body would follow suit and
die immediately. There might be a time delay, so that later, the body
will pass away.
Kazuya said, "Hey, Ojiichan, Kyosuke-niichan looks worse than he
did before."
Manami shushed him. "Kazuya! Watch what you're saying!"
"That's right, Kazuya. You're not supposed to say things like
that, even if it's true," Akane said, poking her brother in the head.
Ojiichan said, "You're not going to have a fight here, you two!
Everyone listen to me. It's true that Kyosuke looks worse than he
did earlier. There's nothing we can do about that--his soul is not
here."
"So you're saying that the Kyosuke in front of us is nothing more
than a mass of broken flesh?" Manami asked.
"That's correct. Right, Baasan?"
Kyosuke's grandfather sought the agreement of his wife of many
years. But she was in her chair, sleeping soundly, oblivious to the
commotion her grandchildren were making.
"I can't believe it." And with that, the oldest living Kasuga (9)
let out a great sigh.
But Madoka Ayukawa felt the power of the Kasuga clan. She spoke
to herself, as if in prayer.
It's okay.
You'll come back to us, I know you will, Kasuga-kun.
Because you...you're a superman.

*****

Unaware of the events in the hospital room three years ago,
I found myself in front of ABCB. I thought that Master would be
willing to listen to what I have to say, and help me out. I had
to find out so many things about this time period, including whether
or not I was even alive. Also, Ayukawa's whereabouts.
If I am dead, then Ayukawa would be twenty-two years old. It's
even possible that she might be going out with someone other than
me. That that would hurt me more than being dead.
Suddenly overcome with worry, I went to the window and peered
in. At the counter was a girl I hadn't seen before, resting her
head on her hands. She was wearing an ABCB apron. She must be
a part-time worker. So Master is out right now. I gathered my
courage and opened the door.
She was apparently one of those "body-conscious" types, with
a little too much makeup. She looked at me with eyes that seemed
half asleep. Something about her didn't seem to fit in with the
atmosphere of ABCB very well. But then, the place was pretty
cluttered. Was it possible for a place to get this dirty in just
three years? There were no other customers besides me.
I said, "Where's Master?"
"Oh, are you a friend of his? He's probably still playing
pachinko."
"Pachinko?"
In the past three years, the coffee shop's atmosphere wasn't
the only thing that changed. When the pachinko parlor in front
of the station first opened, I remember Master saying to me,
"That's terrible. Now the refined taste and culture of this area
is going to be swept away by a new pleasure quarters."
Well, I can't do anything about that. Now is not the time for
me to concern myself with Master's hobbies.
"Give me a caf latte," I said, seating myself.
But she just said, "What's that?"
It was my turn to be surprised. But as I looked around, I
couldn't see the caf latte maker. I guess he must have given up
on it.
"Well, I'll have coffee."
"Comin' up," she answered. She poured coffee from a pot into
a small pan and started warming it. I was shocked. Master had
always insisted on serving coffee that had been freshly made.
"Coffee should be made one cup at a time," he had always said.
I got more and more worried.
You often hear that people can change easily, but I wonder.
Could Master have changed not only his tastes and interests, but
also his personality, in just three years? If that's so, will
he be happy to see me?
"Here you are. Hot enough to kill you." She put the coffee
in front of me. It was as hot as she said.
"Thanks. Um, by the way, is Master still wearing a beard?"
Before I met him again, I wanted to know some things about him.
"He sure does. Really bushy."
"Bushy?"
I was confused. Master wore a beard and moustache three years
ago, but I wouldn't exactly call it bushy.
"I see," I said. "He's still wearing one."
"I guess you haven't seen him for a while."
"Yes. Three years, actually."
"Three years? That's strange. He's been that way for a while."
"What way?"
"You know. _Koochi koochi koo_." She stuck her chin out a
little and wiggled her head from right to left.
"What's that?"
"Well, with part-time girls like me, he likes to rub his beard
against the nape of my neck when I'm washing dishes."
I thought I was going to throw up the coffee I had just started
to drink.
"Master did that?"
"Sure. It's been a month since I started here, so I'm used to
it by now."
I don't care if Master takes up pachinko or changes the way he
makes his coffee, but there is no reason why he should be
harassing girls who work here like that! I thought that if Master
had changed that much, then maybe he wouldn't be willing to help
me in my situation now. My uneasiness was starting to give way
to anger.
Just then, the door opened behind me. The part-time girl
said, "Ah, Master."
Master?
I'll admit that I am usually indecisive. But we who have
Kasuga blood in our veins try to have a sense of what is right
and wrong twice as strong as most people. Furthermore, Master
is like an older brother to Ayukawa. I don't know what kind of
troubles Master has gone through in the last three years ago,
but there's no reason to go and tickle girls who work for you
in the napes of their necks!
Unable to take it any more, I slammed my coffee cup down
with a loud noise and turned around. "I'm ashamed of you, Master,
laying your hands on your employees like that!"
The person I'd yelled at said, "Huh?" and moved back towards
the door. He was more or less an old man--a totally different
man from the Master I knew.
It turned out that the rights to ABCB had been sold to this
man, silverware, fixtures and everything. He said it was a
common thing for owners of coffee shops or bars to do when they
wanted to get out of the business. I couldn't figure out what
had happened in Master's life that he would have wanted to sell.
But according to the old man, he had bought the shop a year and
a half before, and had never met Master directly.
I bowed my head and apologized to the owner for yelling at
him while the girl laughed. If there had been a hole, I would
have put my head in it. After hearing the situation from the old
man, I paid for my coffee and left.
I didn't know where Master was. That didn't mean that no one
knew. But I didn't have the courage to ask the cigarette lady or
the owner of the ramen shop where Master always went. I guess I
must be dead in this time.
I looked up. Without realizing it, I had returned to the station.
A footbridge now spanned the intersection where I had been hit
by a car three years ago. It was almost as if the footbridge was
built as a result of my accident, and it amused me for some reason.
A gentle breeze blew, giving me a pleasant feeling. I started
to climb the stairs up the footbridge, counting the steps as I went.
"Ichi, ni, san,..."
My feet touched each step, one at a time. So am I dead in
this time period? Am I just a spirit, floating in time?
"Nijuu-go, nijuu-roku,..."
As I reached the last step, I heard a voice above me. It filled
me with memories somehow.
"Nijuu-nanna! Twenty seven!"
I looked up slowly, and in the next instant, bitter-sweet
memories flooded into me.
Above me on the footbridge stood a woman, her face still
betraying shadows of girl-hood. She was sampling the gentle
beginning-of-summer breeze. No, she was not a girl at all. She
was a woman. If I hadn't had hundreds of memories of that face
in its younger years locked away in my memory, I might have thought
she was just an attractive woman, a little older than me.
It was Hikaru-chan.
I let out the breath I realized had been holding, and called
her name.
"Hikaru-chan!"
She turned and said instantly, "Gosh, I can't believe it, it's
Kasuga-senpai! I never expected to bump into you out here!"
Her hair was slightly longer than her shoulders, all one length.
Her salmon pink dress matched her red-brown hair well. I'm
positive she had grown in the three years--three and a half years--
since I'd met her.
"Hikaru-chan,...you've... you've gotten taller."
_Baka!_ What a stupid thing to say!
Hikaru-chan looked at me with surprise on her face, then said,
"No, I haven't, senpai. You know, it has been over three years
since we've seen each other."
I looked embarrassed.
She laughed, her mouth wide open like an 'o,' like she always
used to. Like she always used to, back when we were three friends,
together all the time.
"How about you?" she continued. "I can't believe it. You
haven't changed at all, really. You look like you're still in
high school."
She was right. I was my 19-year-old self, but Hikaru-chan
was 22 now, one year older than me.
"Well, you know what they say about men maturing more slowly
than women," I said, trying to change the subject. "That's why I
look so young. Um, did you come here from Hokkaido?"
"No, senpai. I live in New York now."
"New York?"
"Yep. Pretty cool, isn't it?"
"Ah, that's right. Now that you mention it, Master was saying
something about that. After you graduated from your high school
in Otaru, you wanted to go there."
"I said that? I don't remember saying that. Do you know when
that was?"
"Hm?" I said quickly. "Um, no, I can't remember. But if you
live in New York, why are you--"
I was interrupted by her "pocket bell" beeping. Hikaru-chan
took it out of her shoulder bag and checked the number of the person
who had beeped her. For a moment, her face seemed to cloud up with
emotion.
"Gosh, just when I was talking with an old friend," she said.
"Can you hang on a sec?"
"Ah, sure. I don't have anything to be doing right now,
anyway."
Hikaru-chan flashed a smile at me, and ran down the stairs
of the footbridge to a phone booth. I stared at her receding
shape. She was probably taking dance lessons in New York. It
seemed as if Hikaru-chan, once so small and slim, had grown larger
and bolder in the last three years. To tell the absolute truth,
Hikaru-chan's body seemed to be filling her one-piece dress more
than it would have before. It was incredibly arousing to me.
For a moment, I forgot my own current predicament.

Hikaru Hiyama entered the phone booth and sighed. It was
something she always did before going on-stage to help calm
herself.
I wasn't ready for that, bumping into darling, no, I mean
Kyosuke-senpai, on the street like this.
Hikaru had anticipated that she might run into Kyosuke or
Madoka by chance when returned to Tokyo. She was even hoping
for it, somewhere deep inside her. But it had been so sudden,
and now her heart was racing.
I'd promised myself earlier that, whenever I did meet senpai
again, I would be a woman, grown-up and stylish. But I'm really
just a stupid fool. Blurting out such childish words like that.
_Gosh, I can't believe it, it's Kasuga-senpai!_ He'd never think
that I was grown-up, talking like that.
Hikaru sighed again, and began to dial the number displayed
on her beeper. On top of everything else, the man who had
interrupted her conversation with senpai was the lowest scum
on Earth.
She'd tell him off now.
This is Tokyo (10). Where I was born and where I grew up.
Don't think you can treat me the way you did when I first got
to New York!
Hikaru went there right after graduating from high school,
declaring her stay as a one-year English study to the U.S.
immigration officials.
For the first three months, she took classes in ESL--"English
as a Second Language"--an English program mainly for native
speakers of other languages. She had gone to study dance, but
students without English ability couldn't get a visa to study at
dance schools.
To her surprise, ninety percent of the students in the ESL
classes were Japanese. What's more, they weren't really interested
in studying Englishor even in engaging in cultural interchange with
Americans while under the financial wings of their parents, but
instead were just grouping together into herds with other Japanese.
Faced with the loneliness and helplessness of living on her own in
a foreign country, Hikaru spent a little time with such people,
but eventually she decided to change schools and make a new start.
That was when she met Sugizawa, a Japanese man working
part-time at a small travel agency in Greenwich Village. Sugizawa
had just graduated from a university in New York, and was looking
for work as a dancer. He was a sportsman, with an athlete's body,
and his white teeth impressed Hikaru immediately.
In the Village were many "off Broadway" houses which featured
smaller plays and musicals. Sugizawa appeared in such houses
occasionally, and was thus somewhat well-known in the Village.
Sugizawa impressed Hikaru further with his fluent English
and extensive knowledge of the Village. She had yet to make
much progress even in her study of English. They accompanied
each other to many off Broadway plays and musicals, and were
quickly becoming closer and closer. On an Autumn-tinged Halloween
night, in Sugizawa's room over the Hudson river, they were joined.
It was Hikaru's first experience.
But afterward, he soon became unyielding to Hikaru. He
began to completely monopolize her. He began to ask about
every detail of her schedule for the day, and always went to
pick her up when she was finished. At first, Hikaru thought of
his actions as an expression of his affection for her, but
gradually it got to be too much.
On New Years Eve, Hikaru was invited to a home party by her
dance instructor. It was the first time she'd been invited to
such an event. Hikaru enjoyed the party, and tried hard to use
her English. Outside, snow had started to fall. Early in the
morning, the party finally ended, and the instructor said he'd
escort everyone home. In New York with its high crime rate,
this is not unusual.
But when Hikaru went outside, Sugizawa's Corvette was waiting
for her, covered with snow. That was when she realized her
feelings had begun to grow apart from Sugizawa's.
"Let me do my own thing!" she had told him, and for a moment
his eyes became round with surprise. She didn't go back to his
room after that.
Sugizawa called her many times, but she let the answering
machine answer the phone for her. One day, after returning from
her dance lesson, Hikaru heard the following tear-choked voice
on her answering machine.
"It's always this way. Whenever I let myself love someone,
it ends up like this, the more I love her, the more I end up
hurting her, and in the end, it turns out that I wasn't really
in love with her, I was just in love with myself."
His words ceased to be words after that. Sugizawa said he
was going home to Tokyo the next day. Hikaru had no regrets
over Sugizawa. But after hearing his voice on the answering
machine, a memory she'd been trying to forget for a long time
suddenly resurfaced.
It was just like that summer.
When I couldn't think of anything but Kasuga-senpai.
Kasuga-senpai, studying so hard for the university entrance
exams. And me chasing him, pestering him. Just like what
Sugizawa was doing to me.
The next day, Hikaru went to the airport to see Sugizawa
off. He was overjoyed. He gave her his address in Tokyo,
and asked her to visit him when she came back to Japan.
Hikaru agreed, but as soon as his plane lifted off, she
threw the paper he'd given her in the trash. Just then, Kyosuke's
face had come back to her. She knew the reason why.
"Hello?" she said now into the phone.
As soon as she spoke, Sugizawa's voice came on at the other end.
"Hikaru? That's you, isn't it? When did you get to Japan? Why
didn't you tell me your flight number? What about your hotel?
Where are you now? Should I pick you up?"
Hikaru had no plans to visit her parents in Otaru. She had had
a friend she had met in New York make the hotel reservations for
her. That friend must have told Sugizawa that Hikaru was returning
to Japan, and given him her beeper number, thinking she was being
helpful.
Hikaru waited for the first volley of questions to cease, then
said, "Could you tell me all that one more time, Sugizawa-san?
There were so many questions, I couldn't answer them all without
writing them down."
Hikaru was sad to hear such bitterness and cynicism coming out
of her mouth.

"What? An audition for a musical?" I said, surprised.
Hikaru-chan had run back up to the top of the footbridge where
I had waited for her to finish her phone call, and told me her
reason for coming back to Japan. She was going to audition for
the musical.
"Yes," she said, "and it's a pretty big production, too. A
friend I had made while in New York called to tell me about it."
"Wow, that's really great," I said.
"No, it's really nothing," she said, giggling a little. "I'm
just going to audition for the part; it's not like I've passed it
or anything. My instructor in New York tells me all the time,
Hikaru, you aren't good enough to get a real part yet. But he
thought it was a good idea for me to try out some of what I'd
learned in New York back in Tokyo."
"That's great. He speaks to you in English, then, I guess."
This set off more embarrassed laughter, and she balled her
hands into little fists and pretended to hit me. Some people
crossing the footbridge from the station looked at us.
"Hikaru-chan."
Hikaru was as innocent and child-like as always. So full of
light and energy.
Someone approached us on the footbridge, and I moved nearer
to Hikaru to let them pass. When I did so, the light smell of
her _eau de cologne_ struck me. I moved away.
I tried to change the subject: "So where are you staying?
I mean, your parents are still in Hokkaido, right? Oh, at a
hotel. Wait a minute, are there any hotels around here?"
"No, the hotel is near the home of the girl who told me
about the audition. She's going to audition for the play along
with me. She offered to let me stay with her, but in the end
we are rivals, so I decided to stay by myself."
"Wow, that's great," I said.
"Oh no, there you go again, saying how great I am," Hikaru
laughed. "My friend gave me her beeper, so she could contact
me if anything came up."
"I see. So that's who you were talking to back there."
Hikaru beamed. "Senpai, did you think I was talking to a man
or something?"
"Me? Well, I..."
You hit the bull's eye, Hikaru-chan. I'd been thinking of
nothing else for the past few minutes.
Hikaru-chan laughed, then continued. "I came back to the old
neighborhood as a favor to my mother. She told me, if you can't
come visit us in Otaru, at least go to where we used to live and
say hello to everyone. Can you believe she's kept contact with
everyone in the neighborhood for three years?"
I felt bad. Ayukawa and I hadn't even tried to keep up
contact with Hikaru-chan. Meeting her by chance like this, I
feel like a cold bucket of water had been dumped over my head.
"Well, I guess I'd better be getting back."
I said, "Oh, well, so do I." After I spoke, I thought to
myself, where do I have to go to?
Hikaru-chan was looking at me strangely.
"Um, senpai, are you sure you're feeling alright?"
"Hm?"
"Well, I mean you seem to be full of memories all of the sudden."
"I'm okay, I guess."
But I was feeling kind of funny again. Hikaru-chan was right.
I must have tired myself out, walking around thinking so much.
I considered telling everything to Hikaru-chan.
But no, I couldn't do that. It was probably even a good thing
that I hadn't been keeping contact up with Hikaru-chan for these
past three years, so that she wouldn't think anything was strange
if I was really dead in this time period.
"No really, what's wrong, senpai?"
"Huh?"
Hikaru-chan made a strange face. "This is what you look
like," she said. "But then, you have always been a little odd.
I used to talk about it with Madoka-san every once in a while.
Once she said to me, Kasuga-kun always seems like he's keeping
a secret from everyone."
"That's not true!" I blurted.
Hikaru suddenly got serious. "Can I ask you a question?"
Just then in the street below us, a large bus lumbered by
noisily. Because of this, I couldn't hear clearly what Hikaru-chan
said next.
"Are you taking care of your health?"
I answered, "Well, you know how it is. Things could be better."
Hikaru-chan made a strange face, and I thought that she must
have misunderstood what I had said or something. But I thought,
there's no way she could take what I just said the wrong way. I
dismissed the thought.
But Hikaru-chan hadn't asked about my health. She had really
asked, "Is everything okay between you and Madoka-san?" It wasn't
until later that I realized this.
After the sound of the truck had receded, Hikaru-chan took a
few steps down the stairs down to the street. She looked a little
unsettled.
"Well, senpai, I'll be going now."
"Okay," I said.
Hikaru-chan shot a happy smile at me. "Bye bye!"
Then she ran down the steps.
She had said, _Is everything okay between you and Madoka-san?_
And I had answered, _Well, you know how it is. Things could be
better_. It's only natural that she would look a little upset
after hearing that. Not having realized this yet, I said,
"Bye bye!" and thought to myself how warm and friendly her smile
was.
I watched her as she disappeared among the trees that lined
the street. I'm sorry, Ayukawa, I thought to myself. Kyosuke
Kasuga, nineteen years old. I had to admit, I once again found
myself attracted to this older, more grown-up Hikaru-chan.
But a few minutes later, something happened which made kept
me from thinking of Hikaru-chan. I overheard the following
statement from my evil friends from high school, Komatsu and
Hatta: "And Kasuga, he's only twenty-two years old. Poor Ayukawa."

*****

My bumping into Komatsu and Hatta was also by chance.
After parting from Hikaru-chan, I decided to go to the station
and buy a newspaper from a kiosk. I knew there wouldn't be anything
in the paper about where the Kasuga family had moved to, but maybe
reading it would give me a toe-hold into knowing more about this
time period.
"Oh, there goes one hot woman! You look delicious, baby!"
I heard the voice through the crowd and stopped instantly.
The kind of high-pitched voice that sticks out in your mind. A
voice which could fire out pick-up lines at women in rapid
succession, like a machine gun, even though they never amounted to
anything. It was Komatsu Seiji. He had his sidekick Hatta with
him, and was about to enter a bookstore that was in front of the
station. The girl he had just described as "one hot woman" was
putting up some kind of sign in front of the station.
"Thank you, thank you," Komatsu said to the girl. "You really
do your job well, you know that? I'm Komatsu, the manager."
Having said this, he entered the bookstore, acting like someone
important.
What the hell is going on?
Komatsu was talking with the owner of the book store, acting
like they were pals. This book store is famous for people standing
around and reading all the books without buying them, and I had
seen those two getting chased away several times by the old man.
Why are they here now?
The riddle was solved immediately. I looked at the sign the
girl had been putting up. It said, "In celebration of the debut
as a stand-alone comic of Weekly Shonen Jumbo's manga _I'll let you
do anything_ there will be a signing by the author, Kazuya Hatta."
My heart wouldn't stop beating. In just three years, Hatta
had become the number one selling manga artist in Japan. And
judging from the title of the manga, his personality hadn't changed
any. Looking through the stack of mangas next to the sign, I could
tell they were for sex perverts, with lots of girls who could be
either junior high school or high school students wearing cute,
suggestive sailor suits.
So that's why Komatsu and Hatta are wearing suits and ties and
acting so haughty.
Komatsu's voice: "Okay now, Hatta, do you understand? You're
the one the fans want to see."
"Okay," Hatta said.
"When they come, sign the boys' books and get rid of them as
fast as you can. But only the ones who buy the comic. I'll shoe
away anyone who tries to get you to give your autograph without
buying a copy."
"Okay."
"But there'll be young girls in line for an autograph, too.
Be sure to say, please give your phone number to my manager."
"Manager? Who's the manager?"
"I am, you fool!"
"Oh."
"We're going to tell the girls we're recruiting for a special
fan club."
"A fan club?" Hatta said. "Why?"
"Well, it'll really be a sex club, of course."
I can't believe those two. They haven't changed a bit.
But I was a little envious of Hatta. It must be great to be
able to turn your hobby into such a good living.
Komatsu continued, "I do wish Kasuga was here, though. All
this just isn't the same without him."
I was taken back for a moment. I didn't know Komatsu had such
warmth in him. But then their stupid conversation ended. When I
heard what Hatta said next, my heart stopped.
"Yeah, I know. Kasuga, he's still only twenty-two. Poor Ayukawa."
"Yeah. He's in the next world by now, I'll bet. It makes you
feel like crying, doesn't it?"
What the hell? What did they mean?
I'm only twenty-two? Poor Ayukawa? Someone tell me what's
going on!
Their conversation kept rolling around in my head. Did I die
back in the world of three years ago? I couldn't stop myself from
confronting them any longer. If I was dead, then what did I have
to lose? I started towards them. But just as I did so, a herd of
Hatta's fans who was being led by one of the book store employees
appeared, gathering around the two. I was pushed back by the crowd.
"Wow, can you believe how many people there are, Hatta?"
Komatsu said.
"Yeah. Don't push me."
"But wait a minute, Hatta. I can't see any young girls in
the crowd."
"Yeah. Actually, if you think about it, it is a manga for
sex perverts and _otakus_. I can't imagine girls reading it."
Komatsu got angry. "Well, I'm getting out of here, then. I'm
going to go hit on the girl in the book store."
"Wait a minute, Komatsu!"

It was a bit of a shock.
I guess I did die back in that hospital room, three years ago.
I continued to be pushed back by Hatta's fans, until I found
myself back at the footbridge where I had said goodbye to Hikaru
-chan a short time earlier. Looking past the crowd, Komatsu and
Hatta were nowhere to be seen. I had lost the energy to fight the
crowd any further.
But at the same time, I couldn't stand not knowing for sure.
Well, in that case, I'll go to ward office. They'll show me
the death certificate, if I ask them. If there isn't one, then
I'm safe. If there is one... In any event, I have to make sure,
one way or another.
After hurrying to the ward office, I said to the old man at
the information desk, "Excuse me, I'm looking for a certain
person's death certificate."
The old man, who had been drinking green tea, looked shocked
for a moment. That was understandable. I must have looked like
one of the Deva guardians (11) who stand outside Buddhist temples.
That's how desperate I was to know the truth.
He told me the department that handles death certificates was
on the second floor. I thanked him and ran up the stairs.
I've got to make sure! I've got to know! Did I die in that
world of three years ago? And where is Ayukawa? What is she
doing now if I'm dead?
I need the truth.
Even if...even if she's going out with someone else now.
Ayukawa.
She appeared before me, her face full of love. Pouting,
now. I knew that face was something from my past, from three
years ago. Now, in the present, I wonder how beautiful and
grown-up she is. I'll bet she's got her own kind of seductive
appeal now, different from Hikaru-chan's.
My heart screamed, _I want to see Ayukawa!_
I stopped short on the stairs.
I don't know how much longer I've got til my soul disperses.
But there was a science fiction movie I saw a long time ago, in
which a man who had traveled from the past disappeared the moment
he saw proof of his own death.
If that's the case, then before that, I want to meet Ayukawa
just once.
I'm usually the kind of guy who can't make up his mind easily,
but when it's something this important, I never hesitate. I turned
on my heel and ran back down the stairs.
As I ran out the entrance of the ward office, the sky was
beginning to turn a faint shade of orange. A cool evening wind was
ruffling through the town. I started off towards Ayukawa's house,
feeling like a child who had been playing quietly by himself only
to look up and find that all the other kids had gone home.

*****

The Ayukawa mansion hadn't changed in three years.
The ajisai--hydrangea--were in bloom along the path that goes
to her front door. Just like three years ago. I had been here
just a few days ago to pick up Ayukawa for school--well, a few
days ago three years ago. Ayukawa often waters her flowers in
the morning. That morning had been no different.
"You're a lot like those flowers," I said to her. "That's why
you get along so well with them." I had actually happened to learn
a little about the flowers the night before.
"What do you mean by that?"
"Because hydrangea change their colors so often, they're also
known as 'the flower of seven changes.'"
"Seven changes?" Ayukawa said.
"Yes. In other words, they're _kimagure_, capricious or
whimsical. Just like someone else I could name."
She started to get angry. "That's not funny, Kasuga-kun."
Kyosuke laughed. "I think I'll ask the flowers themselves."
"Ask them what?"
"Why do they suddenly get quiet and moody for no reason? The
moment I think they're angry, they suddenly laugh. Why is that?"
This time Ayukawa laughed. "You're making me sound like I'm just
a spoiled brat."
I kissed her. It was a slightly longer kiss than usual.
Then I said, "Good morning, Ayukawa."
I put my arms around my beautiful angel. I felt her breath
against me.
"What's wrong?"
Instead of answering, she dug her fingernails into my chest.
"Kyosuke, you used your super-abilities just now, didn't you?"
"What? What are you talking about?"
"It was too perfect."
"What was?"
"It just was. That kiss. And if I catch you reminiscing about
it during class, I'll make you buy me lunch."
"Ayukawa."
This time, Ayukawa kissed me.
Ayukawa.
I repeated her name to myself, shaking my head to get myself
back into reality. I don't have time to get caught up in memories
of the past. I've got to concentrate!
I jumped up onto the wall, being careful to avoid the flowers.
If I walked along it, I knew I would get to the courtyard, where I
could see into the living room. But when I got up onto the wall, I
saw something I hadn't expected to see.
The wall I was standing on is more than just a border separating
Ayukawa's house from the one next door, but was also part of the
roof to the garage. There were two cars parked there. One of them
was familiar to me. It was a bright red Austin Mini that Ayukawa's
parents had bought her when she was admitted to university.
"That's great!" I had said when she told me about the car.
"Not really," she had said. "They can't fool me. They've stuck
me with watching the house while they were away for years, and this
is all I get as a reward."
The other car, that was the problem. It was a silver-grey BMW
of a type I hadn't seen since three years ago. Ayukawa's parents
spend the larger part of every year overseas performing, and while
they're away, Ayukawa's sister and her husband drive her father's
Mercedes.
So whose car is this BMW?
I felt my heart drop. Someone was paying a visit to Ayukawa
at this moment. I didn't know if it was a man or a woman. No, it
had to be a man. You have to face reality, Kyosuke. There's no
way a woman would be driving a sleek BMW like that, is there?
She's with a man. A man is here, with her.
Trying to get a hold of myself, I slapped myself in the face
with both hands. Making an intense face like those Deva guardians,
I continued along the wall.
That was when I heard the sound of a piano.
Looking for a key to play in. The kind of sliding of the fingers
up and down the keys that a person who had been familiar with a
piano ever since childhood would make. Ayukawa used to do that every
time, before she would play.
It was Ayukawa. She was playing the piano.
I had heard the song somewhere before. A strong opening. Then a
sensual melody, like running up a hill. That's it, then comes the
image of a calm, great sea.
This song is _Kyosuke #1_!
My depression left me immediately, and I reached my hand out
to the branch of the white birch tree for support and peered into
her living room. I couldn't see much more than the grand piano
inside. But I could see fingers striking the keys. And long,
black hair. It was Ayukawa. She was totally absorbed in her
playing, with her head bent forward, so I couldn't see her face
clearly. But I knew I was looking at Madoka Ayukawa, twenty-two
years old.
I was suddenly on the brink of tears. I wanted to rush to
her side and spill out everything. I knew she'd help me. After
all this time, she still plays the song she wrote for me, wasn't
she?
But wait a minute.
I don't know _for sure_ that the title of that song is, in
reality, _Kyosuke #1_.
I did hear it in a dream. If that dream wasn't about the
future, if it was just a normal dream... The title of the song
might not be _Kyosuke #1_ at all.
I felt confused again. But at that moment, I heard a voice
which dispelled my confusion immediately.
"Madoka!"
It was a man's voice. A young man. That voice was saying to
me: stay dead, Kyosuke.
I don't mean to brag, but I'm not brash enough to call Ayukawa
by her first name yet. Even though we're officially going out, we
haven't gotten to that point in our relationship yet. Some might
say that I'm unable to call her by her first name.
On several occasions, I've thought that there was no reason to
go on calling her "Ayukawa," but whenever I tried to it, I failed.
I really was dying to be able to call her "Madoka," casually. And
now, the young man coming up from behind Ayukawa had done so as if
her first name meant nothing. I decided he must be the owner of
the BMW.
Then I looked more closely at the man.
It was him!
I knew who he was. More importantly, all of Japan knew who
he was: the famous idol singer, Mitsuru Hayakawa!
It appeared that he had graduated from a mere idol singer to
a full-fledged pop star. He was wearing his long black hair behind
him, tied into a pony tail, with an expensive-looking double-
breasted suit, and an "aloha" shirt that seemed to say, I'm so
famous I can get away with wearing outrageous clothes like this.
No necktie. And a bright, shiny ring that somehow blended well
with everything else.
But why is Mitsuru Hayakawa at Ayukawa's house?
Ayukawa and I met Mitsuru Hayakawa a while back. But he didn't
go around calling her by her first name, at least, not three years
ago.

My first meeting with Mitsuru Hayakawa was two years ago.
Which means five years ago, from this point in time. At that time,
he was still just an up-and-coming idol. Hayakawa and I accidentally
bumped our heads together, which caused us to exchange bodies.
Changing bodies basically means swapping two minds completely. In
our case, my personality changed places with Mitsuru Hayakawa's.
Because Hayakawa is so popular with girls, I had a lot of adventures
with the opposite sex using his body. At the same time, Hayakawa
made some passes at Ayukawa, who naturally thought it was me. Well,
to make a long story short, Ayukawa was unharmed, and in the end we
were able to put it all behind us. But after that...
Setting his sights for the musical genius Ayukawa had inherited
from her musician parents, Hayakawa had kept in touch with her.
But in the end she decided to go to college with me, and I thought
he'd given up for a while.
Once, when I asked Ayukawa about Hayakawa's attempts to recruit
her into the music business, she said, "Kasuga-kun, I think you're
jealous of him."
"Of course I am!" I replied, raising my voice for once.
Ayukawa seemed a little off balance to see me get flustered, and
apologized: "I'm sorry, Kasuga-kun. I am."
I looked into her eyes. They looked like the eyes of a scared
little girl.

But in the twenty-two year old Ayukawa of the present, I couldn't
see any traces of such childishness. In Mitsuru Hayakawa's hand were
two cans of beer. He put one on the piano, and she thanked him with
her eyes, continuing to play. Hayakawa opened his beer and drank it
in one gulp. Then he looked at Ayukawa and said, "Well? How's it
going? Did you finish my song?"
Ayukawa continued playing, ignoring him.
"You still haven't gotten over him, I see."
Who is he talked about? Me?
"For God's sake, stop fucking around and forget about him."
Angry, Ayukawa slammed her hands down on the keys. She glared
at Hayakawa. He seemed used to those eyes, and he raised his hands
in mock surrender.
He continued. "You have to understand, I went to a lot of trouble
to get the producer to let you write another song."
"I didn't ask you to do it."
Ayukawa stretched out her hand to take her beer, and cracked it
open.
"You really don't know the way things work in this business, do
you."
"I don't need to know how things work."
Hayakawa got defensive. "Hey."
As Ayukawa drank her beer, Hayakawa proceeded to tell her about
"the business." This is basically what he said.
Ayukawa had written several of the songs on Hayakawa's last
album. One minor song happened to catch on, and became a big hit.
The song was then chosen as the opening theme for a TV drama, and
the name of Madoka Ayukawa, songwriter, spread like wildfire in the
Japanese music industry.
Hayakawa said, "Your sudden rise to the big time has been quite
a Cinderella Story. Still, I hope I wasn't expecting too much,
putting you in charge of writing my next single."
He leaned over and, brushing up against Ayukawa,s shoulder,
started to play a song on the piano.
It was the song Ayukawa had just been playing. It was the song
I hoped was called _Kyosuke #1_.
"If you like, I can use this song instead."
"What?"
"It's a pretty good song. Kind of rougher than most of my recent
stuff, but it's packed with your emotion, your 'shout.' It would be
perfect for the climax of a concert."
"Forget about it, okay? I didn't write this song for you."
"I know."
"There aren't even any lyrics."
"I can write some."
Mitsuru Hayakawa reached over and played part of the song,
ad-libbing some words to fit the melody:
"I love you. I love only you."
I knew those words were what he wanted to say to Ayukawa right now.
God damn you, Hayakawa!
"Stop it!" Ayukawa pushed him away and got up from the piano.
But Hayakawa just raised his hands again in apology, smiling.
He hadn't meant to push her that far.
Ayukawa bit back, "What happened to your girlfriend, anyway?"
That's right. There was a girl named Shiori who had been with
him from the beginning of his rise to fame, which he had kept
separate from all his female groupies. When I changed bodies with
Hayakawa, I came very close to spending a dangerous (?) night with
her. Her face was cute, similar to Hikaru-chan's, but with a more
sensual side to her as well.
"Girlfriend?" Hayakawa said. "Which one?"
"I thought so. Even though you graduated from idol to full-
fledged pop singer, you still aren't capable of anything but using
women for sex."
Hayakawa said, "No, you're wrong."
"What?"
"I'm different, Madoka, but you can't see the truth."
"The truth?"
"That I, Mitsuru Hayakawa, am the only one who can save you."
"Get out!"
"I'm leaving. But if you ever decide you're ready to change
the title of that song, give me a call. You'll never be able to
write songs if you don't forget him. Kyosuke would agree with me."
At that moment, I nearly lost my grip on the tree branch.
I knew it! The song Ayukawa had been playing was my song. The
title is almost definitely _Kyosuke #1_. Ayukawa must have written
it for me at some point in the past.
Ayukawa refused to look in Hayakawa's direction. She stared at
the piano keyboard, her mouth a tight line, unmoving. Hayakawa
made a gesture of shooting an imaginary gun in her direction as a
gesture of goodbye, then left the room. The moment he closed the
door, Ayukawa burst into tears, which fell onto the piano keys.
Suddenly, everything started to go black.
Except for Hikaru-chan, who had moved to Hokkaido, and from
there went straight to New York City, everyone seemed to know of
my death. I really must be dead. The courtyard of the Ayukawa
mansion was turning bright orange as the sun moved lower and lower.
The most beautiful moment of sunset. After this, the darkness of
night will come.
For Ayukawa, a long, sad night.
I made up my mind.
If the situation were reversed, even if Ayukawa were a ghost,
I would want her to appear before me. Even if I couldn't reach out
and hold her, I would want to be with her, for whatever short time
we were allowed. I decided to go to her, and ease her sorrow as
much as I could. I jumped from the wall to the tree branch, preparing
to jump down to the living room window. But as I jumped to the tree,
I felt a strange dizziness, like when you stand up too quickly. Then
I looked in horror as my hand started turned transparent before my
eyes. But not just my hand. Now my whole body was starting to
disappear. It was time for me to fade away for good. If that's
my destiny, then I'll accept it. But to die without even being able
to say one word to Ayukawa! That's too much!
Please God, give me just enough time to say one word. Just one
word, any word!
I gathered all my strength and jumped from the tree to Ayukawa's
living room window.
Ayukawa!
But my body had already started to disappear, and I fell
"through" the wall to her house. I was suddenly unable to see or
hear or feel anything.

*****

It can't be Kyosuke?
Madoka Ayukawa looked up, sure that she had just heard Kyosuke's
voice calling her. Through the open window, she could see the white
birch, painted orange by the setting sun. The voice seemed to have
come from that direction.
Madoka got up from the piano where she had been sitting and
picked up her beer. A pleasant evening wind spilled in through
the open window. As if pulled by that warm breeze, she went to
the window. The tears in her eyes dried out.
There was no one at the window.
Madoka managed a sad smile. As she drank more of the warm
beer, she said to herself:
Kyosuke Kasuga. You're a superman, right? So use your magic,
and come back to me.
_Come back to me!_
After receiving word that Kyosuke had turned up missing, Madoka
had immediately tried to catch a plane to where he was. But there
was no room for women in Bosnia. Her parents, who happened to be
performing in Eastern Europe, told her to wait in Japan until she
had more information. But for ten days no, there had been no word.
Madoka continued to stare lazily at the orange-colored garden.
The wind, which had been pleasant a moment ago, now annoyed her.
Ever since she had been a child, Madoka had been mistrustful of
things that gave her pleasure. The reason for this was, whenever
her parents would return to Japan, she would be happy, but she knew
that they would leave, and she would be alone again. She knew, too,
that the warm evening wind meant that the lonely night was not far
off.
In the slowly-darkening garden, Madoka's sobs sounded once again.

Back at her hotel, Hikaru had just gotten out of the shower when
her attention was captured by the picture on the TV. It was the
news on the war in Bosnia. News of the ongoing chaos there could be
seen in New York. But the news in New York hadn't reported the
story of a Japanese photographer who had disappeared.
There must be some kind of mistake.
She slid down onto her knees in shock.
It was senpai. Kasuga-senpai. Whereabouts, unknown.
But,...
"Who was the Kasuga-senpai I met today?"
Hikaru reached out for the telephone. As long as she lived, she
would never forget Madoka's phone number. Hikaru pushed the button
to get an external line, and felt a chill on her just-showered body.

PART III

"Kasuga-kun!" Madoka shouted at Kyosuke's body, which was being
wheeled away. "Kasuga-kun! Don't give up!"
Kyosuke was experiencing the last stage of agony. The doctor
had decided to move him to the emergency treatment room.
"Oniichan! Keep fighting!"
Manami and Kurumi followed the stretcher, followed by the
grandparents. Down the hallway was the treatment room.
Half insane, Madoka clung to Kyosuke. "You're not going to die,
right? Your body's still warm. You'll be okay, right? Live, okay?
Live! Do you hear me? Kyosuke!"
Then, _bashi! bashi! bashi!_ Madoka slapped Kyosuke's cheek.
"What do you think you're doing?"
The doctor grabbed Madoka's hands. But Madoka pulled away from
him, and kissed Kyosuke hard, as if she wanted to cover his whole
body with hers. Everyone standing around was surprised by the force
of her action, and moved back.
That was all Madoka Ayukawa could do for him.
Some nurses wheeled Kyosuke's stretcher into the treatment room.
Madoka stayed outside. But at that moment, Kyosuke's wandering soul
was receiving some kind of power from Madoka. Kyosuke's grandfather
picked up on that energy.
"Madoka-kun, you did well. It seems that Kyosuke has heard your
voice."
Madoka said, "What?"
Manami said, "What do you mean, Ojiichan?"
"Kyosuke's soul, trapped in the future, seems to have regained
some energy."
"R-really?"
"Ojiichan, how do you know that?" Kazuya wanted to know.
Grandfather said, "It's not that I can see Kyosuke's spirit
directly from this point in time. But when Madoka-kun kissed
Kyosuke's body, now in the treatment room, I felt that his spirit
was filled with the memory of the joy of living, which had almost
been forgotten."
Madoka: "The joy of living?"
Grandfather nodded deeply.
Grandmother put in: "In other words, Madoka-chan, your feeling
towards Kyosuke have given him courage, even at the brink of death.
The flesh communicated those feelings to his soul, trapped in the
future."
"That's right," Ojiichan said. "If Kyosuke's spirit can borrow
power from the Kyosuke of three years into the future, then..."
"Oniichan can come back to us."
"Probably. That's if Kyosuke's flesh can hang on til that time."
Madoka stared blankly at the door to the emergency treatment room.

*****

"Ouch!"
I realized I was back in my body just as my head hit the ground.
I was lying in the same place I had ended up the first time. The
bottom of those long steps where I first met Ayukawa. There was a
newspaper discarded by the side of the road. A glance at it told
me it was still July 23, 1994, three years into my future.
I didn't know what happened to me, but it seemed that this point
in space acted as some kind of inter-dimensional doorway for me. It
also seemed that my spirit hadn't faded away just yet.
That thought didn't make me any happier. The current situation
was still the same as it was. I finally find out the truth about
myself in this world of the future, but now I haven't a clue about
what I should do next.
The sun which had painted the Ayukawa mansion's courtyard
bright orange had set about thirty minutes ago. I was seized
with the desire to run to Ayukawa's side immediately, but now I
asked myself, did I really have the right to appear in front of
her like this? I was suddenly uneasy.
I wandered away from the steps, towards some shops. The bright
lights of the stores hurt my eyes. I felt like the light was
penetrating into the center of me, and the feeling was unpleasant.
Then, as I was passing in front of an electronics store, I stopped
in shock.
In the store window, many new electronic gadgets that hadn't
existed three years ago were on display. But what had stopped me
in my tracks wasn't electronics. My picture was on the TV. It was
then that I first learned that, in this time, I was a missing person.
So this is was had really happened to me!

*****

"Thank you very much. Next, please."
The cold voice of the director echoed off the ceiling of the
studio. The dancers who were waiting to audition all let out a
sigh of relief. Only Hikaru Hiyama remained stiff, as if she were
thinking hard about something.
"Hey, Hikaru, what's the matter? Are you okay?"
Shuri Anzai looked at Hikaru's face. Compared to Hikaru's
large eyes, her eyes were narrow, more Asian-looking. Those eyes
now looked at Hikaru.
"What?" Hikaru said, then laughed. "Jeez, Shuri, do I really
look so strange?"
"Yes, there's something wrong with you. The Hikaru I know
would be making a bigger fuss about the audition, running around
saying, oh my God, I'm on in a few minutes, that kind of thing."
"Hold on a sec. Acting happy now doesn't change the fact that
I'm going to be a heartbroken woman by tonight, my dreams in pieces
on the floor, after I fail this audition. Would you be able to be
so jovial under those conditions?"
"I guess not."
"Jeez, some people expect so much." Hikaru laughed again.
Hikaru had met Shuri in a Japanese restaurant in the East
Village when she had first started her dancing lessons. Shuri had
come to New York with the same dream as Hikaru, but when she
exhausted her financial resources, she had gotten a job as a
waitress in the restaurant.
She had a body that had no problem competing with American
women, and the Asian flavor of her catlike eyes gave her a slightly
different appeal than Hikaru. The past winter, when her visa
period had expired, she returned temporarily to Japan. When she
heard about the audition, she had told Hikaru about it immediately.
"Stop worrying about me, Shuri. Aren't you up next?" Hikaru
nudged Shuri towards the stage.
Shuri was the kind of person who never stopped worrying about
her friends. Hikaru didn't want to lie to her. The truth was,
Hikaru had rather a lot on her mind.
Back at the hotel, she had tried to call Madoka after seeing
Kyosuke on the news, but in the end she had changed her mind. She
knew she had met Kyosuke that afternoon. They had only talked for
a short time, but their conversation had been pleasant. She had to
admit to herself that, somewhere deep inside her, she had felt the
fire of emotion re-light for Kyosuke, who she had been trying so
hard to forget.
Then to hear him say, after asking about him and Madoka-san:
"Well, you know how it is. Things could be better."
Hikaru had felt awful after hearing those words. She had been
through so much pain; it had been so hard to give Kyosuke up. But
then to be told, "Things could be better," when she asked how he
was getting on with Madoka... Well, hadn't it all been for nothing?
Hikaru had thought this way at first, but then she reconsidered.
Kyosuke had done nothing more than opened his heart to Hikaru and
spoke honestly. From the beginning, the three of them had had that
kind of genuine friendship, and Kyosuke, suddenly meeting an old
friend, had inadvertently spoken his true feelings.
Hikaru thought that some kind of obstacle must have come between
Madoka and Kyosuke. That Kyosuke had become missing in Bosnia at
least temporarily was fact. But he was actually alive, and was
going to great pains to conceal that fact from others. Why? There
could be only one reason. He wanted to avoid Madoka Ayukawa.
That must be it! But why? Is he cheating on her with some
other girl? He can't face her for some reason? Maybe he forced
some woman overseas to marry him. Or maybe he gave up his Japanese
citizenship! That could have happened!
Ever since she was a child, Hikaru had a tendency to get carried
away when thinking about a problem. This was one of those times.
In any event, she had tried to called Madoka back at the hotel,
but thoughts like these had made her replace the receiver in the end.
"Hikaru, I'll see you after my audition." It was Shuri now.
"What?"
"I'm up. Didn't you hear them call my name?"
Shuri put all her nervousness inside her and smiled at Hikaru,
then went out onto the stage.
"Shuri, good luck!" Hikaru called after her, but her voice was
lost in the music on the stage. A famous wide-show host on TV all
the time was introducing Shuri over the speakers. The TV network
that was sponsoring the production was also recording the audition
session for a documentary about dancers. Participants in the dance
audition would all have their faces on TV.
Her turn approaching, Hikaru wrapped her arms around herself in
an effort to get a grip on herself. When she did so, she
unconsciously touched a small doll sewn into her leotard. It was
similar to those "Troll" dolls, and she gripped it now. Whenever
she got nervous at a dance lesson back in New York, she would hold
the doll in her hand, getting strength from it.
I can do this!
--I can do this!
She chanted the words like an incantation. They aided her
whenever she had a problem back in America, the ultimate land of
"individualism" and "do-it-yourself-ism."
You can do it, Hikaru! I know you can!
The troll sewn into her leotard had been a present from Madoka
Ayukawa. Hikaru had received it right after she got to New York.
Soon after Hikaru transferred to the high school in Hokkaido, she
started sending postcards to her friend. The problem of Kyosuke
still existed between the two women, but Madoka had been like an
older sister to her forever. Ever since Hikaru had been a child,
she had been a crybaby, and had followed Madoka around everywhere.
No matter what had happened with Kyosuke, her feelings for her "big
sister" could never really change.
But still, something kept her from talking with her directly.
So she had sent postcards. She wrote about unimportant things,
and never talked about what was going on between Madoka and Kyosuke.
Madoka guessed Hikaru's feelings, so instead of sending a reply
letter, she had sent little trinkets. First there was the Troll
-like doll good-luck charm, then a hand-made hat, and finally some
pressed, dried flowers that Madoka had grown herself. Hikaru hadn't
asked for any gifts, but receiving them gave her a warm feeling.
They didn't need to talk face to face. It was enough for each
to know that the other was thinking about her, keeping the warmth
alive. Hikaru had sworn to herself that, when she had become
grown-up enough to talk about what had happened with Madoka as one
woman to another, she would go see her.
But it was hard. Just coming to this audition had been a pretty
big step for Hikaru. Hikaru knew about Madoka's becoming an up-and
-coming songwriter. Japanese living in New York loan videotapes of
current "trendy dramas" to each other quite often. She knew about
the song Madoka had written becoming a big hit in Japan. Hikaru
immediately wrote a postcard congratulating her friend. She didn't
write about the audition or her planned return to Japan.
"Hikaru Hiyama-san!"
The announcer's voice reverberated from the speaker.
"_Hai!_"
Startled at her own voice, Hikaru walked out on stage. Shuri
Anzai was walking off-stage to the applause of the audience, her
face flushed. She was smiling. She had done her best. Hikaru
raised one spread hand and said, "Give me five, Shuri!" Slap!
Shuri hit her open palm against Hikaru's, in a gesture of good luck.
As if pulled by the music that suddenly overflowed from the
speakers, Hikaru leaped out into the bright lights.

In the stands with the other judges sat Mitsuru Hayakawa.
"That girl!"
Unconsciously, Hayakawa leaned forward in his seat to get a
better look at the girl who had come onto stage. He had seen her
before. She had been just a girl then, but the person dancing on
stage was a ripe, mature woman now. Quickly, Hayakawa's mind began
checking his memory like a computer for the file on the girl.

"Hey, you! Wait a minute! Hiyama! Hikaru Hiyama!"
Hayakawa's voice echoed towards Hikaru, headed backstage. But
she didn't stop.
A phone! I've got to find a phone!
I knew I should have called Madoka-san earlier!
Hikaru had just finished her audition. It had started with a
dancing, then singing, and finally a brief demonstration of her
acting ability. After her eyes had become accustomed to the bright
lights, Hikaru had noticed Mitsuru Hayakawa, watching her from the
audience.
Back in high school, Hikaru had appeared on a TV show called
"Talent Scout Caravan" along with Madoka and Kyosuke's sisters.
Hayakawa had been on the show as a special-guest. Hikaru never had
a chance to talk directly with Hayakawa, but she knew that Kyosuke
and Madoka had had some kind of trouble with him. Hikaru had no
problem with that, but seeing him looking down on her from the
stands suddenly brought back memories of Kyosuke and Madoka.
I don't know what really went on with Hayakawa and Kyosuke. But
Kasuga-senpai is really alive. He's reported in the news as being
missing. I can't believe he's hiding from Madoka-san like that.
I hate him!
Hikaru had tried not to think about Kyosuke during the audition
itself, but it was no use. No matter how hard she tried, the faces
of Kyosuke, who she had met that afternoon, and Madoka, worried
over Kyosuke's safety, floated in front of her. After her audition
was finished, she threw on a jacket and went in search of a payphone.
They were all in use. People who had come to audition, wanting to
call their families or their managers, were waiting in lines to use
the phones. Outside the studio, she finally found an open phone.
But Madoka wasn't home.
Through the receiver, Hikaru heard Madoka's voice for the first
time in three years. It was her answering machine. Hikaru was
full of memories, and her heart quivered with emotion. She
realized that she really loved Madoka after all.
But when the recording ended with a beep, she hung up without
saying anything. It wasn't the kind of thing you leave on someone's
answering machine. Hikaru decided to walk around the memory-filled
town without going back to the hotel.

*****

A red straw hat. A red straw hat.
Ayukawa's red straw hat.
This is where we first met--God, that sounds corny.
I balled up the newspaper I had been reading and threw it in
a trash can. I was at the park at the top of the hundred-or-ninety
-nine steps. I was sitting on a swing. On the society page of the
newspaper was an article with a giant headline: _Japanese
photographer, missing for several days_.
Don't make such a big deal about it. I won't be able to go
anywhere around here without standing out to strangers if my picture's
going to be pasted everywhere. To say nothing of showing up at
Ayukawa's house.
The Kyosuke Kasuga of the present turns up missing just as I show
up from the past. It has to be a joke, right?
I started myself swinging. I had been on these swings with
Ayukawa many times. Back when Ayukawa was going to study abroad
in America at her parents' urging, we had come here.
"So are you going to America or what?" I had said, trying to
sound tough.
"I have to. You and me; we're still children, really. We have
to do what our parents tell us to every once in a while."
Ayukawa had said this, then smiled in that grown-up way of hers.
She had ended up staying here, and we had become closer and closer
after that. You often hear that you don't realize how important
people are to you until you lose them. Just like me, now.
Everyone I know is gone. Ayukawa, Komatsu and Hatta, my family,
even Master. This is all so new to me. I never imagined that not
being able to see the people you love could be this hard.
The wind picked up. It was July, but it wasn't really summer
yet. It would get cool tonight.
"Okay!" I said to myself, jumping off the swing. I started
down the steps I had just climbed, counting to myself: "Ichi, ni,..."
I was going to check how many there really were, once and for all.
Then, from below me, a voice: "Ichi, ni, san,..." I looked up
to see a girl, coming under the light.
"I didn't know your hobbies included counting steps, Kasuga
-senpai."
"Hikaru-chan!"
"What's wrong, senpai?" she teased. "You look like you've
seen a ghost."
"Um, sorry, I..."
"I knew you'd be here."
"How did you know?"
"Everyone else always takes the long way to avoid having to
climb these stairs, but for some reason, you always seemed to like
them. And here you were."
"Is that so?"
"Yes, it is," Hikaru-chan answered, suddenly acting like her
old self.
"You haven't really changed in three years," I said.
"That's not true! I'm twenty now, you know. Are you saying I
haven't become woman at all?"
"Well, that's not what I meant."
That isn't what I had meant. You're so pretty, I wouldn't know
you if I saw you in a crowd. Like a beacon of light to a lonely
man, lost in the sea. To tell the truth, I was so happy I could
cry, talking to her.
"Kasuga-senpai."
"Hm?"
"Can I ask you a private question?"
"What? What's wrong?"
I was shaking a little. But Hikaru-chan looked straight at me,
and I knew I couldn't lie to her. Sensing my resignation, she
said, "Senpai, why are you running away from Madoka-san, pretending
to be dead?"

*****

Hikaru-chan's hotel, on Aoyama Dori, was what is known as a
"city hotel," kind of small but elegant. We had decided to go
to dinner.
"Well, let's go the hotel I'm staying at," Hikaru had said.
"I heard there's a beautiful restaurant on the top floor, but I
haven't been there yet. If it's really as nice as they say, then
who would want to go there alone?"
I wasn't hungry, and wondered if my soul from three years in
the past was biologically capable of hunger, but when she asked
that question of me, I could only say, "Well, let's go to dinner
and talk about it."
Luckily, I had had the money for my summer study session in
my pocket at the time of the accident. I'm sure even Ojiichan
wouldn't know why that money was with me now. But I was ready to
spend it all tonight on Hikaru-chan.
"Senpai, what wine shall we have? Do you prefer dry or sweet
wines?"
Sitting down next to a window that overlooked Aoyama Dori,
Hikaru-chan had immediately reached for the wine list.
"Um, I don't have a preference. Which do you usually drink?"
Hikaru-chan started naming white wines, most of which I had
never heard of. This was something that the Hikaru-chan of three
years ago would not have been able to do.
Of course! Now that I think about it, she is a year older than
me. I'm at a ritzy hotel, about to eat dinner with a sexy, older
woman.
"Well, how about this one?" she said to the waiter, after I
had been unable to decide the wine. She really had grown up,
hadn't she? No doubt it was as a result of her hard life in New
York. She had really come a long way. I suddenly became aware
of how childish I must look to her.
"What's wrong, senpai? You're acting like a body without a soul."
My eyes went wide at that. "Did you say soul?" A middle-aged
couple sitting beside us glared at me. Hikaru-chan shushed me.
"Sorry. I was vegging out for a second," I said.
"You seem kind of tired today. If you don't want to answer my
question, you don't have to."
"Ah yes, your question."
Hikaru continued. "You and Madoka are adults, after all. I
just...I just..."
"Hikaru-chan?"
The words were getting caught in her throat. I held eyes with
her for a moment, and she forced a smile. The kind of cute smile
you see in American movies.
"I just want to see the two of you get along together. That's all."
Just then, the waiter brought the wine, served in a bucket of ice.
"That looks good," she said.
I pretended not to notice the sadness in her face.

*****

"_Kampai!_"
Hikaru touched her glass to Kyosuke's, then took a long drink of
the chilled wine. Her throat had been parched. She realized she
hadn't had anything to drink since before the audition, when she had
had some mineral water. And now she was running off at the mouth
with Kyosuke.
_I want to see the two of you get along together_. What a
stupid thing to say. It's like I'm admitting what bad luck I had
had with men when I was in New York or something.
She drained the glass.
"You're incredible, Hikaru-chan. I guess you can hold your
liquor."
"Hm? No, no, I'm just thirsty, that's all. Besides, in
America people drink beer and wine in place of water."
"Really? The water in Tokyo has gotten really bad recently.
I hear it's worse in America, though."
"It is. And what's worse, the price of beer or wine or mineral
water isn't that different from Japan."
"Well, then I guess you should buy wine instead of mineral
water," Kyosuke said and laughed, refilling her glass. As he did
so, she looked at his face. He really hadn't changed in the slightest
in three years. Same sweet mouth. Same warm eyes. A completely
different person than Sugizawa-san.
In the end, Hikaru hadn't bothered to call Sugizawa back. He had
been the first man she had been with, but that was all he was. Even
if she were to see him again, she knew nothing would ever come of it.
After she had broken up with Sugizawa, Hikaru had slept with two men.
One had been an Italian-American who was taking dance lessons with
her. The other had been a Japanese art student she had met in a caf
in the Village. Both of them had been different types of men, but
both had had many interests in common with Hikaru. She had enjoyed
being with both of them.
She had realized that they hadn't been "steadies," but just
someone to spend time in bed with. She saw them from time to time
back in New York. Sometimes she would sleep with them, sometimes she
wouldn't. The relationships were important to both her and the two
men.
But now, her dear friend Kyosuke was here, and she felt
strangely sad about the changes in herself over the past three years.
But Kyosuke hadn't changed at all. No matter what kind of men she
would meet in the future. No matter how grown-up and sexy she made
herself up to look in front of them. To Hikaru, Kyosuke Kasuga would
always be different.
Kyosuke and Hikaru were still reminiscing about the old days when
the food and more wine came. Their conversation touched on the
subject of Madoka from time to time, but for the most part, they
avoided talking about her. It was surprisingly easy, because the two
of them had been bound by deep friendship for a long time.
Some time later, "dinner time" at the restraint gave way to "bar
time." The lights were dimmed, and the candles places at each table
illuminated their slightly reddened faces. Kyosuke and Hikaru had
been laughing about the past up til now, but they suddenly grew
silent. Piano music had begun to play, and they were embarrassed at
laughing so loudly.
That was the beginning of it.
The two of them went from two friends, laughing and talking about
the past, to seeing each other as adults of consenting age.

*****

I knew it.
I shouldn't have gone.
Madoka turned on the lights and looked around the room. She had
been invited to dinner by her sister and her husband, and had just
gotten home. They had been concerned about her because she was
losing weight, worrying about Kyosuke. They had shown up that night
and half-dragged Madoka out the door. Her sister's children had
been glad to see her, and the table had been filled with her favorite
foods. But no matter how hard she tried, Madoka hadn't been able to
lift her spirits. Madoka ate the food her sister had prepared for
her as quickly as she could, then caught a taxi home, turning down
her brother-in-law's insistent offers to take her home himself.
She should have been nicer to her sister's family. Or better,
she should have turned down their invitation more firmly in the first
place. Madoka picked up a box of Salem cigarettes that she had
thrown on the couch earlier, and took one out and lit it.
She took a drag of the cigarette.
She noticed a light blinking on the telephone. Someone had called
while she had been out. She sucked again at the Salem, as if trying
to smoke all it in one breath. She held the smoke in her lungs for
a moment, then blew it all out.
Ever since she had been notified that Kyosuke had disappeared,
the sound of the phone ringing terrified her. Madoka discarded the
cigarette butt, smoked down to the filter, in an empty can. She
listened to the message.
There had been three calls. But the person had hung up without
leaving any messages. She ran her long, black hair through her
fingers, sinking into the couch. She took another Salem out of the
pack.
The phone rang.
She immediately thought to herself: what time is it in Bosnia?
"Hello?"
The voice on the other end dispelled her anxiety immediately.
"It's me. I was drinking, and suddenly wanted to hear your voice."
It was Mitsuru Hayakawa.
"Use your stupid lines on some other woman. I'm hanging up now."
"No wait, don't hang up. I was kidding. No, there's something I
have to tell you."
"I haven't done anything with your song since this afternoon.
Tell your friends in 'the business,' if they don't like it, they can
drop me."
"No, it's not about that. I met a close friend of yours today."
"A close friend?"
"Yeah, you know, the girl from high school."
"You're not talking about Hikaru, are you?"
"Yeah, that's her. Entry number 65, Hikaru Hiyama. Currently
residing in New York, attending Actor's Studio College."
"What are you talking about? Hikaru is in New York now, but--"
"She's back in Japan. I had a feeling you didn't know she was
back. She's here for an audition."
"An audition?"
"I told you about it a while ago, remember? My agent is taking
part in producing a musical, and I was chosen to be one of the judges.
Anyway, she came to the audition today."
Madoka sat up, interested now. She displayed the postcards she
had gotten from Hikaru. Counting the ones from Hokkaido, there were
quite a few. The most recent one, a postcard from Phantom of the
Opera, had arrived a month ago. In it, Hikaru had written her
congratulations on Madoka's becoming a hit songwriter, and complained
about how hard it was for poor people like her to buy theater tickets
in New York. Madoka had sent Hikaru a cassette tape of the music to
Phantom of the Opera, which she had arranged and played herself on
the piano.
"Madoka, are you listening?"
"Sorry. So where is Hikaru now?"
"She's in that new hotel on Aoyama Dori, I think it's called the
Kingdom Hotel. I'm here with her."
"You're a liar."
Hayakawa just laughed.
"I'm just kidding. That part comes later."
"Go ahead and try it. Just remember, Hikaru doesn't look that
strong, but I'm the one who taught her how to kick the asses of
scumbags like you."
"I'm sorry, come on. Although, she really has gotten sexy in
the last three years."
Hayakawa continued talking about Hikaru, but Ayukawa listened
only halfway, then hung up. She dialed directory assistance and
asked for the number of the Kingdom Hotel. Madoka was sure Hikaru
didn't know about Kyosuke's disappearance. If Hikaru had known,
Madoka was certain she would have called. Madoka had considered
writing to Hikaru in New York with the news. But she had changed
her mind, not wanting to burden Hikaru with her problems. But if
Hikaru is in Tokyo, things were different. The only one who could
bring Madoka's spirits out of the shadows at a time like this was
Hikaru.
"Hello, Kingdom Hotel."
A pleasant woman's voice answered the phone. Madoka gave the
name of Hikaru Hiyama, and was connected to her room. The phone
rang again and again. After a time it reverted back to the front
desk.
"Miss Hiyama doesn't seem to be in her room," said the woman.
"She just picked up her room key, so I'd imagine she's in the
hotel's restaurant bar with her guest."
"Her guest?"
"Yes. Um, are you a friend of Miss Hiyama's?"
"Yes, I am."
"Shall I transfer your call to the restaurant?"
"Was she with a man?"
"Yes, she was."
Madoka was suddenly hit by women's intuition.
Hikaru was with a man. He was probably a boyfriend from Hokkaido.
If that was the case, it wouldn't be nice to show up and talk about
Kyosuke with her.
"Hello? Shall I connect you to the restaurant?"
Madoka hung up.
And felt somehow relieved. She didn't know what kind of man
Hikaru was with, but the thought of Hikaru enjoying a quiet evening
with a male friend was somehow good news to her. Madoka realized
she was thirsty, and went into the kitchen. She took a beer out of
the refrigerator and opened it. Coolness spread down her throat.
She thought of Hikaru, and for a moment was able to forget her own
situation and smile.

*****

"Kasuga-senpai, are you okay?"
Hikaru-chan was calling me. She seemed far away from me.
No, that's not right. She's right beside me. The smell of her
was assaulting me, making my head spin. No, wait a minute. She's
not _beside me_, she's _holding me in her arms_, calling my name.
Where am I? Am I a ghost? I took a look around me, and saw
that I was in her hotel room. On the sofa next to the bed were
several pieces of women's clothing.
"Are you okay? Hang on a minute, I'll bring you some water."
Hikaru dropped me on the bed. Or maybe she laid me down
gently--I couldn't tell which.
So this is Hikaru-chan's room.
I shook my head groggily, trying desperately to remember what
had happened up to that point. I think I paid the bill back at the
restaurant. She showed her room key to the waiter and said, "Please
charge it to my room," but I don't care if she's older than me, the
man should pay. I told her, let me pay! I think that's what
happened.
But my memory gave out on me after that. How did I get to
Hikaru's room? The room into which Hikaru-chan had disappeared into
was a bathroom. I heard the sound of water running through the door.
Hikaru-chan's taking a shower! That's really not a good idea,
Hikaru-chan.
I tried to sit up, but I felt as if my clothes had been sewn
to the bed. My body wouldn't respond to my brain's commands.
I've got to get home. But where is home? I have nowhere to
go. I've got to get out of this room, in any event. That much
I can be sure of.
I tried once more to get up, and this time I managed to turn
over onto my stomach. But it was then I noticed something strange.
Kyosuke Kasuga, nineteen years old--I was supposedly just a soul,
but I was experiencing pain now.
The part of me which proves I'm a man (you know, _down there_)
was bearing my full weight. That part of me had become sexually
excited, and, well... Even though I was trying my best to do the
right thing, to leave the room, my thing had 'stood up.'
Ayukawa.
I'm sorry. I don't know what's gotten into me.
At that point, I reached my limit, and my mental soliloquy
came to an end. I imagined Hikaru-chan's nude body in the shower,
then saw Ayukawa's angry face, then Hikaru-chan again, then Ayukawa.
Then, like a giant wave hitting me at once, I entered a world of
pure white.

*****

"Senpai, I'm sorry for making you wait. Here's your water."
Hikaru came out of the bathroom, holding a cup of water. Then
she noticed he was lying on his stomach.
"Are you okay, senpai? Where does it hurt? I was filling the
bath with water for you just now."
Hikaru kneeled on the bed, shaking Kyosuke gently. He was
sleeping soundly.
"Don't go to sleep here," Hikaru said. "It's a bad idea, really."
Hikaru didn't know what to do.
This is a problem.
Definitely a problem.
Back at the restaurant on the top floor of the hotel, Kyosuke
had passed out right after taking care of the check. He had drank
too much. Hikaru had asked a waiter to help bring him to her hotel
room, intending to let him rest for a while on the couch before
going home.
But now he was in her bed sleeping, and his face was innocent
and peaceful. Hikaru had thought earlier that Kyosuke hadn't changed
at all in three years, but looking at him now, she was unable to
believe that he was twenty-two years old. This was the Japanese
photographer who had flown into war-torn Eastern Europe with just a
camera?
Back at the restaurant, Hikaru had asked several times about
his trip to Bosnia and his disappearance. But every time he had
avoided the question. Kyosuke was, after all, a very indecisive
type of person who never said things clearly.
Hikaru knew this aspect of his personality very well. She
also realized that a man who was relaxing and talking about the
past with an old friend might not want to dig up such vivid and
unpleasant memories. Hikaru decided to stop asking about Bosnia
and concentrate on talking about their happy past.
But there were many things that Hikaru didn't want to remember
about that past. In the last three years she had worked hard to
put those bitter memories behind her. She had found at some point
that she had grown up during it all.
Being an adult wasn't necessarily all good, either.
Before, Hikaru had always been a straightforward and trusting
person, but now she was different. Now she always thought things
like, "Is this person telling me the truth?" and "How far can I
trust this person?"
This was because she had had many experiences with lovers or
a friends who hadn't responded to her feelings as much as she had
expected, or who had actually betrayed her in the end. Many people
she had met changed completely whenever it suited them. Because of
this, she had been hurt many times.
But now, lying in her bed, was a man who was totally unlike the
people she had met in the past.
He's not my enemy.
He doesn't want to play the stupid games that adults have to play.
But I couldn't...I couldn't do that.
"Kasuga-senpai. Please wake up," she said, before finally
realizing that her voice wasn't enough to rouse him.
Just then, Kyosuke turned over in bed. Timing it just right,
Hikaru covered Kyosuke wth the sheet. She went to turn off the
water, nearly overflowing in the bathtub, then took off her T-shirt
and spats and got in the bathtub.
The hot water mixed with the warmth from the wind, and felt
good against her body. Hikaru was not so naive that she didn't
know what was going to happen between Kyosuke and her tonight. Nor
was it true that she hadn't considered what pain both she and
Madoka Ayukawa would have to suffer after Hikaru crossed that line
with Kyosuke. As if to wave all that away, Hikaru submerged her
head in the bath water completely. She decided not to think about
it anymore. Not thinking about the problem was the best solution at
a time like this.
When Hikaru came out of the bathroom, Kyosuke was still sleeping
soundly. She put on her pajamas and slid into bed beside Kyosuke.
When she did so, she remembered the body smells of the men she had
slept with in the past, but she shook her head, just a little, to
shake the memories off. She could hear the sound of the air
conditioner running. Hikaru was in the habit of taking hot showers,
then getting into cool sheets. It created a pleasant sensation
against her body. But when she stretched her legs out into the
fresh sheets, she moved to touch Kyosuke.
Just then, Kyosuke said: "Ayukawa."
A name that Hikaru had been trying desperately to forget suddenly
jumped up in her memory. She reached out to the side table and
turned out the light. The room became completely dark. The sound of
the air conditioner and the never-ending parade of cars on Aoyama
Dori reached Hikaru's ears. Seeming to completely cover those sounds
was the sound of Kyosuke's breathing.
Hikaru smiled to herself.
This is not my apartment in New York. This is Tokyo, where I
was born and raised. And this is where some people who are very
special to me live.
Hikaru wondered why it had taken til now for her to feel like
she had come "home," and sometime later, she was pulled into a deep
sleep.

*****

When I opened my eyes, I knew immediately that I was really in
heaven this time. Lying on a fluffy cloud. Bathing in gentle rays
of light. And beside me, breathing deeply in sleep, was a nymph.
I guess I really am dead this time.
Wait a minute. A nymph? Not an angel?
Reality returned to me in the next second. I'm sure I turned
white. The person I thought was a nymph was really Hikaru-chan.
She was wearing cute pajamas, and was sleeping with her body resting
against mine.
What's going on, Kyosuke? Why is Hikaru-chan sleeping in the
same bed as you? Does that mean I...well, does it mean I did it
with her?
That's not good.
I was a virgin.
And what about Ayukawa? I was supposed to do it with her.
I had gone from heaven to hell in one minute. An idea occurred
to me. I reached my hand down to the lower half of my body. I was
wearing my pants. But that didn't necessarily mean I was out of
the woods. Thinking I should check all parts of my body, I started
to lower my zipper. If that part of me was wet, well, it would be
a big problem.
But then my luck turned bad. Down on Aoyama Dori a truck blew
its horn loudly. Hikaru-chan's large eyes fluttered open.
"Ah, Hikaru-chan," I said.
"Good morning, senpai."
"Good morning."
"I didn't know you were awake."
Hikaru-chan looked as if she was still half in whatever dream
she had been having. I had my hands on my zipper. No matter how
half-awake she was, it looked suspicious.
"What are you doing? What's wrong, senpai?"
I laughed nervously. "It's gets itchy down here sometimes."
She rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "Gimmie a break. Men are
all the same." She laughed, then suddenly she looked at me with
solemn eyes. They seemed to tease me.
"Senpai."
"What."
"Do you remember last night? You talked in your sleep."
"What!?"
"You kept saying 'Ayukawa, Ayukawa!'"
"No, I didn't."
"Yes, you did."
Hikaru-chan laughed again.
"Cut it out, Hikaru-chan! I'm sure I didn't say her name!"
"But suppose you did say her name. And suppose, as a result
of that, a certain beautiful girl decided she hated you. What
would you do?"
"Huh? Well, I guess then I would have been my loss."
"Your loss, huh?" she asked.
"Um, well, it's not actually a matter of losing or gaining
something," I said.
What am I saying?!
Suddenly Hikaru-chan said, "Senpai! You can stop worrying.
Nothing happened between us last night." She showed me a wide
smile. The morning sun was shining on her face just then, and it
was the prettiest smile I'd ever seen. I knew that I could never
do anything to hurt her.
Just then, a sixth sense came out of nowhere and hit me.
.......Hikaru-chan wasn't a virgin.
Next to the pillow, the phone rang.
Hikaru-chan threw the sheet off and answered it. It was the
front desk, telling her she had a phone call from outside the
hotel. I thought it wouldn't be polite to eavesdrop on her
conversation, and moved into the bathroom.

*****

"Hello?" said the voice at the other end of the receiver.
It wasn't Sugizawa. Hikaru was immediately relieved.
"It's me, Hayakawa. Mitsuru Hayakawa."
"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry. I remember now. I'm sorry about
yesterday."
"It's been a long time since I've been brushed off like that.
It made me kind of nostalgic for the old days."
"So I guess you have to thank me," Hikaru said.
Hikaru continued the conversation, but she was thinking about
Kyosuke, who had disappeared into the bathroom. She didn't
particularly want him to see her like this, talking casually with
a man. Then she heard the sound of Kyosuke using the shower.
She relaxed a little, then said, "And why has the famous and
popular Mitsuru Hayakawa seen fit to call someone like me?"
"Has Madoka called you yet?"
"Madoka-san?"
"Yeah, you know, Madoka Ayukawa. Has she called you yet?
I told her about seeing you at the audition. She's writing my
new single, so I talk with her quite a bit."
Idly, Hikaru recalled that the hit song which Madoka-san had
written had been sung by Mitsuru Hayakawa. Hikaru had been going
to call Madoka as soon as she heard the results of the audition.
She hadn't planned on Hayakawa telling Madoka that she was in
Japan for her, and was actually a little angry at him.
"So how is Madoka-san?"
"She's fine, except for worrying about Kyosuke. You know about
him, right?"
"Yes, I know," she said.
"She's taking it well. At least, her defenses are strong. As
usual."
Hayakawa laughed as if he had said something funny.
Hikaru was worried about Madoka. She still hadn't managed to
find out why Kyosuke was hiding from Madoka. Madoka was worrying
herself to death over Kyosuke, yet Hikaru had just spent a
dangerous night with him. Hikaru felt she had done something
terrible.
"Um, about yesterday's audition," Hayakawa was saying.
Hikaru's ears perked up. The results of the audition were to
be announced this afternoon. There were two positions for leading
roles and three for lesser parts. Those five dancers would undergo
extremely hard dance lessons until the fall, at which time the
number of roles available would be narrowed down to one leading and
two minor parts. The people who weren't chosen for the final roles
would never be able to step on a stage, unless an accident happened
to the dancers who had been chosen.
But Hikaru wasn't aiming for one of the minor roles. They were
suitable only for taller dancers, like Shuri Anzai. She had to get
one of the major roles, or nothing.
Hayakawa was saying, "Anyway, I just received word from my
agent. The results are out."
"What? Already?" Hikaru felt herself tense up. The tone of
Hayakawa's voice told her to fear the worst.
"I'm sorry, but you weren't picked."
"I see."
"You were good, though. Really good. I voted for you."
"Thank you."
"Anyway, I was thinking, will you be in Tokyo a while longer?"
"Why?"
"I'm sort of friends with the author of the play. I was
thinking...well, if I ask him, maybe he could add a part for you."
"He could what?"
"Yeah, it's done all the time in this business."
"Yes, but..."
"If it's alright with you, maybe we could have lunch today and
talk about it."
It couldn't possibly be that easy, Hikaru thought to herself.
But she was also aware of the fact that, in this world, nothing was
more important than connections. Hikaru heard herself talking to
Hayakawa, but one thing was bothering her.
"Um, Hayakawa-san."
"Mm?"
"Does Madoka-san know about any of this?"
Hayakawa lost some of his composure as the mention of Madoka's
name.
"Madoka? This is what she said to me. She said, 'Hikaru
doesn't look that strong, but remember I'm the one who taught her
how to kick the asses of scumbags like you.'"
He laughed again.
To Hayakawa, he had told an innocent joke. But Hikaru was sure
she sensed Madoka's influence in Hayakawa's generous offer. Hikaru
was sure that Madoka had asked him to make a special part in the
play for her. And that was a favor that Hikaru absolutely could
not accept.
"Hayakawa-san."
"So what time should I pick you up? What do you want to eat?"
"I'm sorry, but I have to decline your offer."
"Huh? What are you talking about?"
"Please say thank you to Madoka-san for me. Tell her, when
the time comes that I can call her, I will."
"Well, I'll tell her. But don't you want to just--"
"Thank you very much for calling. Goodbye!"
Hikaru hung up the phone with Hayakawa in the middle of a word.
Just then Kyosuke, having finished his shower, opened the bathroom
door. He had obviously been waiting for her to finish her phone
call. That thoughtful quality was one of the things she loved
about Kyosuke.
"I'm out of the shower," he said.
"Thanks," she replied, then suddenly stood up on the bed. She
began jumping on the bed like a child.
"Um, Hikaru-chan?"
Hikaru continued jumping. "Senpai, I'm going back to New York
tonight."
"What?"
"I knew I'd want to return to New York right away if I failed the
audition. My return ticket was set for today."
"You failed? You failed the audition?"
"But it was fun!" she said. "But really dangerous, too. We almost
did something we would have regretted last night, didn't we?"
Hikaru suddenly jumped onto the floor, making a sound like an
airplane crashing: "_Kyuuun!_" Then she ran past Kyosuke into the
bathroom.
"H-Hikaru-chan," Kyosuke said, but the bathroom door slid shut
with a bang. The sound of the shower came on again. Kyosuke realized
now that he had lingered too long with her. The warmth that being
with her brought had distracted him. Kyosuke knocked on the bathroom
door.
"Hikaru-chan!"
Hikaru turned the water pressure down and said, "What?"
"I'm going to go now."
"Okay."
"Hikaru-chan, thanks for yesterday. It was really fun."
"Me too. I was lucky to have bumped into you again. I mean that."
"Thanks."
Kyosuke realized that Hikaru was waiting to hear what he was
going to say next, from the other side of the door. It was his
intention to say goodbye then leave immediately. He knew that if
he didn't go right away, it would be impossible to leave her. He
also sensed that Hikaru, a woman now, was struggling with some new
burden. But Kyosuke found that, no matter how hard he tried, he
couldn't tell her _sayonara_.
"Hikaru-chan, I'll see you later."
"Bye!"
Hikaru paused a moment as if to check if Kyosuke had really
gone, then turned the water pressure in the shower back up. As if
driven away by the sound of the shower, Kyosuke left the room.
Just as he closed the door, the phone in Hikaru's room rang again.

*****

After that, I decided to head back to my own neighborhood. I
had nowhere else to go. I felt as if my tired body was searching
for somewhere to rest. But I wasn't actually tired. It was sort
of a painful feeling. As if being with happy, bright Hikaru-chan
made me feel dim by comparison. I needed to rest for a while.
On my way down the stairs from the train station, I noticed a
crowd of people in front of the electronics store across from the
bus terminal. In the front window was a sign which read, "Our
Local Hero!" The owner of the shop had put it up, along with a
large TV set showing news.
What the hell's going on?
Having nothing better to do, I went towards the store. When I
did so, I heard a voice say, "Hey look, it's Kasuga!" The high-
pitched voice belonged to Komatsu.
I thought about running away, but Komatsu and Hatta, stepping
out of a ramen shop, were coming towards the electronics shop at
high speed.
"Excuse us, we're Kasuga Kyosuke's close personal friends."
"Let us through. Hey, wait a minute, you're kind of cute."
They waded through the crowd to the front of the TV.
Is there something about me on the news?
I peered at the television in between the people. My twenty-
two year old face was on the screen. The newscaster was reading
the news story excitedly.
"...We repeat, international news agencies received reports
late last night that student-photographer Kyosuke Kasuga has been
found uninjured by the United Nations peacekeeping forces.
Confirmation of the reports has been slow in coming, so the official
announcement has been held back til a few minutes ago. Kasuga-kun
has been en route to Japan via a UN special plane for several hours
and will be arriving at Narita shortly."
The people gathered around the television let out a cheer. I
felt embarrassed, but at the same time something welled up inside
of me.
I was alive!
I had been alive these past three years! Which meant that I
survived the accident three years ago!
Now the screen was showing an army of news reporters converging
on Narita. Ayukawa's probably with them. My twenty-two year old
self was coming home. Suddenly in a big hurry, I ran back up the
stairs to the train station.

Narita International Airport was, as the TV had shown, in a
total uproar. The lobby where the passengers and crew from the UN
jet would be arriving was closed off to everyone except reporters
and airport personnel. Being careful to avoid the eyes of the
guards, I slipped under the rope which led to the lobby. The crowd
of reporters was positioned outside the flight gate, poised to
capture on film the conquering hero as he came through the gate.
Beyond the reporters was a group of people who looked like airport
officials. I pulled the "Apollo" cap I had just bought tightly
over my face and walked towards the group of officials. Among them
were two young girls giving interviews to reporters. It took me a
few seconds to realize that they were Kurumi and Manami! Standing
next to them, his hair slightly graying in the front, was my father.
The Master of ABCB was even there.
Where have they been all this time?
I started walking towards them more quickly. But just then,
the reporters let out a roar as the gate was opened, and I was
carried away by the wave of people. I bumped into countless people.
No one could tell I wasn't one of the reporters. I struggled to
move forward, even just a little.
Just then, I noticed a pair of eyes looking straight at me. It
was Ayukawa. Twenty-two year old Ayukawa was starting straight at
me.
Ayukawa!
I pushed some people to one side, throwing my body forward.
But she disappeared among the shoving people.
Ayukawa! Ayukawa!
I continued to move towards where she had been standing. When
I finally managed to find her in the crowd again, I suddenly felt
some kind of power take me, almost like telekinesis, and move me
forward.
Ayukawa was standing next to a man, larger than me, who had
his arm around her waist. A million flash-bulbs went off around
them. He was Kyosuke Kasuga, twenty-two years old. The power I
was feeling was coming from him. I felt it run through my body,
regenerating all the cells of my flesh.
In that shower of flash bulbs, my twenty-two year old self
was still embracing Ayukawa. But slowly, he turned towards me.
He grinned in my direction, then sent me this telepathic message:
_I've been waiting for you, Kyosuke. What took you so long?_
Feeling somehow relieved, I nodded towards him.

*****

The outside of the airport terminal was stained vermilion by
the setting sun. The lobby which had been full of reporters an
hour ago had finally quieted down. Tourists planning on starting
their summer vacations early were standing in lines and filling
out forms.
"Summer vacation will be here in no time," my twenty-two year
old self said, gazing at the sightseers-to-be. "This room will
be so filled with travelers, there won't be a single place to
stand. It'll be like a battlefield."
The two Kyosukes had moved away from the family and Madoka,
and were standing in a corridor that overlooked the departure
lobby.
"A battlefield, huh?" Kyosuke of three years ago said. "Tell
me, why did you go to Bosnia, anyway?"
"I'd like to ask you the same thing. Kyosuke, what the hell
happened to you three years ago?"
"It must have been the photo contest. You remember, we won
the university photography competition. I guess you got carried
away with all that glory and wanted to become a full-fledged
photographer."
"No, that's not it. It wasn't anything that immature. It was
Madoka and Hikaru-chan that made me do it."
"Ayukawa and Hikaru-chan?"
"Yeah. They were trying so hard to make their own dreams come
true. So I thought I ought to be doing something, too. I became
a photographer."
"And went to Bosnia?"
"That started out as a coincidence. Once you get involved in
something that big, it's hard to free yourself."
"I guess life is like that."
"Yes, it is. Looking through the camera's finder, you realize
you have to see it through to the very end, do it right, or not do
it at all."
"Even to the point of going into a battlefield?"
Twenty-two year old Kyosuke smiled sardonically and nodded.
The younger Kyosuke couldn't help but be impressed.
"Still, I don't know."
"What?"
"I just can't see myself going to Bosnia."
"Kyosuke."
"Mm?"
"Even I don't know what's going to happen in the future. How
can you?"
"Yeah, right. I guess life is like that."
"Yes, it is."
The two men smiled. But suddenly the older Kyosuke tweaked the
younger on the head and said, "So, Kyosuke, I'll bet you were too
scared to have sex with Hikaru-chan. Am I right?"
"Huh? Well, you know how it is."
"You should be ashamed of yourself. I would have done it."
"You what?"
"I would definitely have been able to do it."
"Really? But, what, what about Ayukawa?"
"I would have made sure that she never found out."
"It wouldn't have been as easy as that, I'm sure."
"Hmm. Maybe you're right."
"I know I am. She would have found out. I wouldn't want to
be you if that happens."
The two men laughed together.
Twenty-two year old Kyosuke had been kidding about Hikaru,
trying to act tough. He was three years older than the man across
from him. But he knew deep down that if he had been with Hikaru
that night, he wouldn't have been able to do anything, either.
The reason wasn't fear of Madoka Ayukawa. If Kyosuke had
crossed that line with Hikaru-chan, it would have caused problems
between the two of them in the future. No, it had been the wrong
time.
"But this much I can say," he began. "Kyosuke Kasuga didn't
do anything this time, this summer of 1994, but in the future,
something may happen. It may begin again."
"What?"
"Did I say, may begin? That was wrong. It's already begun,
the wheels are already set in motion between Hikaru-chan and me.
All thanks to that dangerous night you spent with her."
"But you're me, right? We both spend that night with her."
"Oh, right."
The two men chuckled, then suddenly got serious.
Come to think of it, Hikaru-chan is supposed to return to New
York today. She was probably somewhere in the departure lobby
right now. Maybe they could see her from up here. The two
Kyosukes were seized by the desire to run down the stairs and look
for Hikaru. But they said in unison, "What the hell are we
thinking about?" That stopped them.
Trying to hide his own embarrassment, the older Kyosuke said,
"She's a nice girl."
"Yep. A nice girl, Hikaru-chan is."
"Yeah."
The older Kyosuke took a look at the digital watch on his
suntanned arm. "Kyosuke, it's time for you to go. Madoka is
waiting for you, back at the hospital."
"Okay. But wait, how do I get back?"
"In the past three years, I've gotten some new powers. I
certainly can handle something simple like sending you back to
the past. Didn't you feel your powers regenerate as soon as
you saw me in the arrival lobby?"
"Yeah, that's right."
"It's all part of the enigma that is the Kasuga clan."
"I wonder if someday I'll have really strong powers like
Ojiichan."
"I wonder, too. The powers I have aren't as useful as his,
at least not so far."
The two men laughed again.
"Oh, that reminds me. Kyosuke, this is important. When you
get back to the past, there's something you have to do."
"What is it?"
"You've got to call yourself the day before the accident.
You'll have to get some help from Ojiichan for that."
"Call myself?"
Then the younger Kyosuke remembered the phone call that
shattered his heavenly dream of being with Ayukawa. The person
had told him, "Kyosuke! Watch out for cars!" and had had Kyosuke's
own voice.
"So the call I got yesterday morning was...?"
"That's right. If you hadn't been told to be careful of cars,
you might have died instantly in that accident."
"I thought that phone call was just some crank, but I guess it
was real."
Kyosuke from the past felt somehow good about himself. Seeing
how fate has a real hand in one's life will do that to you. But
something was bothering the younger man. He decided to ask about
it.
"Um, Kyosuke."
"Mm?"
"When did you start calling Ayukawa by her first name?"
The older Kyosuke thought a moment. "When was that? Let me see..."
"You don't remember?"
"So much has happened with her over the years. I can't remember
every little detail. But I do remember _that_ time." The older
Kyosuke grinned and looked at the younger man.
"That time?"
"You know, _that time_."
"I don't know what you mean."
"_That time_. The first time. It was the best!"
"The best? You don't mean--"
The younger Kyosuke wanted to ask more, but the older man put
his hand over the younger man's mouth (12).
"Don't ask too much. You'll find out when you get back."
With his hand still over the younger Kyosuke's mouth, Kyosuke
of the present moved them into the shade. His brow wrinkled up
with deep concentration. A powerful energy seemed to appear,
coming out of his upper torso region. That energy became an aura
which moved to cover the younger Kyosuke's whole body.
You'll find out when you get back.
_If_ you get back.
He said it was the best.
_The best_.
The Kyosuke from the past repeated the words of his older self
over and over again, like a magic spell. But after he had repeated
_the best_ a few times, he suddenly lost consciousness. His body
vanished from the world of 1994.
"Kyosuke! Is this where you've been?"
Kyosuke of the present had just sent his younger self back to
the past. Now he heard Madoka's voice behind him. She was running
towards him, holding the hem of her slightly daring one-piece down.
He laughed nervously, like a child caught doing something he
shouldn't be doing.
"What do you think you're doing, running out in the middle of a
press conference like that?"
"Um, there was something I had to do."
"Something you had to do? That happens a lot with you. Just
like when you first went to Bosnia."
"Gimmie a break, Madoka."
She laughed, and her voice was happy. But she suddenly grabbed
him by the collar of his vest and pulled him close to her.
"You're not hiding anything from me, are you?"
"What?"
"I saw him."
"Saw who?"
"A very young Kyosuke."
"Really? That makes me happy."
"Happy? Why?"
"You were so worried about me that you even saw my ghost."
"Why you!"
Madoka moved to kick him, but he caught her right foot in
mid-air. It had been a long time since he touched this leg. Under
her stockings, her muscles had an almost explosive springiness to
them. He put her leg down. "You shouldn't try things like that in
a mini-skirt."
"I don't care if people see."
"Well I do. Those parts are very important to me, and I don't
want anyone else looking at them but me."
"That a fine thing to see after leaving me here while you go off
to Bosnia for months."
"I'm sorry. I'll apologize to you every day for just as many
months."
Laughing, Kyosuke put his arm around Madoka's waist, and pulled
her near him. He put his face near her ear, close enough to smell
her black hair, and whispered:
"By the way, when did I stop calling you Ayukawa and start
using your first name?"
"Jesus, did you actually forget?"
"Well, I..."
"Until you remember, you can forget about you-know-what!"
"What? Forget about what?"
Looking a little embarrassed, Madoka pulled him closer, and
said in a tiny voice, "You know, sex. _Baka!_"
At that, Kyosuke finally remembered when he had started using
Madoka's first name.

EPILOGUE

Back at the hotel bar with the view of the Yokohama Bay
Bridge. The jazz piano that I had heard in a dream once was
playing softly in the background. Ayukawa and I had had dinner
in Chinatown, had felt the wind on our faces from the Bay Bridge,
and now were about to have our third _kampai_. Just as in my
dream, Ayukawa was talking and laughing more than usual. There
could only be one reason. Ayukawa was nervous. Our first time
together was finally approaching.
Ayukawa drank down her third drink and said, "Anyway, I'm
really glad there were no after-effects from the accident."
Those eyes, shockingly sexy. To avoid falling into them, I
ordered her another drink.
"Yes, but you never know. What if some show up in, say,
three years?"
"Stop it. Nothing like that is going to happen."
"You never know, some after-effects might show up, and I
might suddenly decide to go wander around some foreign country."
"I'll just have to tie you up, then."
Ayukawa laughed again. Then, "I'd like to propose a toast to
Kasuga-kun's health. _Kampai!_"
She touched her still-empty glass to mine.
A month had passed since the accident. My body recovered
normally, and by now I had stopped going back to the hospital
everyday for treatment. Ayukawa and I re-made the hotel
reservation that we had had to cancel once before, and now we
were having our quiet celebration.
It was all almost exactly like my dream of long ago. The
atmosphere of the bar, the view of the Bay Bridge, and the black
man playing the piano, were all in my dream. I guess it was a
prophetic dream after all. But on the other hand, I feel
somehow different.
I still can't say for sure if my winning the university
photography contest last month was what was responsible for my
disappearance three years from now. My self of three years
hence had said the same thing. All you can really say is that
a person doesn't know where his life will eventually take him.
That goes for Hikaru-chan, headed for New York in a year, as
well as Ayukawa, destined to become an up-and-coming songwriter.
They don't know what's going to happen to them. Not knowing,
they're just doing their best to make their dreams come true,
everyday. It's the same with everyone.
"What's wrong, Kasuga-kun?"
"Mm?"
"You got so quiet all of the sudden. I guess you must've
met some beautiful girl in the future, and were thinking about
her just now."
"I wasn't!"
She laughed. But it was sort of a cold laugh that, to tell
the truth, made me a little afraid. I hadn't told her much about
my trip to the future. I told her about things like my family
moving, and Hatta becoming a famous writer of sex comics, but I
didn't touch subjects like what Ayukawa was doing in the future,
or about meeting Hikaru-chan. Occasionally Ayukawa would ask
about her future, but I would tell her, "I can't tell you. It's an
esper family policy."
Now Ayukawa said, "Okay, here's my present to Kasuga-kun,
Part One."
Ayukawa took the drink that had been bought for her and stood
up. I knew she was going to play my song. I leaned forward, acting
surprised.
"Part One?"
"I've written a song for my brave, self-confident Kasuga-kun."
Ayukawa was a little tipsy. I cheered, "Yay, yay!"
She hid the embarrassment she must have been feeling, and looked
straight at me.
"The title is _Kyosuke #1_."
I knew it! That was the title! Ayukawa had written this song
for me.
When that forceful introduction began, I stopped thinking and
concentrated on her song. I knew that we would be joined for the
first time tonight. Her song was an passionate one, full of
emotion. My throat was dry, so I drank down my frozen daiquiri
in one gulp. An incredible heat spread out from my stomach. Just
then, as if to announce the coming climax, a ship in the bay blew
its whistle.

*****

I had taken a shower and was lying in bed now. FEN (13) was
playing softly, some old American strings piece. I had never
heard it before, but, slightly intoxicated as I was, it created
a very pleasant mood. Occasionally, ships in the bay blew their
foghorns. The sounds blended with the music from the radio with
perfect timing, almost like a jam session. But in reality, even
though I was bathing in those dreamlike sounds, I was also hearing
my heart beating nervously in my ears.
I can hear the sound of Ayukawa's shower.
I can hear the sound of her using soap and shampoo.
The sound of her soft humming.
_Kacha!_ Ayukawa opened the bathroom door. All sound suddenly
left the room, as if erased by the sound of that door opening. I
was frozen with fear just then. I sat up in the bed and looked at
her.
Ayukawa was standing in the light from the bathroom, a towel
wrapped around her. Her long, black hair was tied up behind her,
and her shoulders and neck seemed so beautiful, so milky-white,
that they couldn't have been from this world.
Ayukawa, I finally figured out who you really were.
An angel in a T-shirt.
"Don't stare like that, Kasuga-kun," she said, the light all
around her.
I must have been making an incredibly stupid face. But I was
mesmerized by her.
"Come on, stop it."
I wasn't sure if that was the second or the third time she
had asked me to stop staring. But now her voice brought me back
to reality.
"Ayukawa."
"Turn them out, okay?"
"What?"
"The light, silly."
I reached out my hand to turn the light out, but I
overbalanced, and _bam!_ I knocked the light over.
Damn! I'm such a klutz!
Ayukawa couldn't control her laughter. "God, I can't believe
you did that."
I got out of bed and set the light upright again. But I was
still in too much of a hurry, and I couldn't get it to stand upright.
"Damn you, light!"
I finally succeeded in turning the light out, and the room was
instantly filled with darkness. Ayukawa must have turned the
bathroom light out when I wasn't paying attention. Suddenly Ayukawa
was behind me.
"Ayukawa."
I turned slowly towards her. In the darkness, I could see her
body, wrapped in the white towel. The only light was what came in
from the window, but I could see her clearly, as if her body were
emitting some kind of luminescence.
"I'll remember that you knocked that lamp over for the rest of
my life." She looked at me and smiled. "But being clumsy is all
part of the Kyosuke Kasuga I've come to love."
"Gimmie a break!"
We laughed like two children hiding from their parents in a
secret place.
Ayukawa made a serious face. "Kasuga-kun."
"Mm?"
"Will I give birth to esper children (14)?"
"What?"
I hurriedly reached out for the box of tissue. For years I'd
been reading "sayonara my virginity" articles in boy's magazines,
and it said that in some hotels they put condoms near the tissues.
But: "It's not here!" I didn't mean to say it out loud.
"'Not here'? What are you looking for?"
"Huh? Well, I mean, you asked me if you were going to give
birth to a baby with super powers. It's a little soon for that,
if you know what I mean."
"_Baka!_ Don't be so silly."
"Eh?"
"Tonight is a safe night."
My eyes must have been little black points, with my mouth open
like I wasn't getting enough oxygen.
"I can't believe you, Kasuga-kun. I just asked if, someday, I
would have esper children. I didn't mean tonight. You pervert!"
Now Ayukawa bent over laughing. I don't know if she was
laughing because of my clumsiness, or because of the alcohol in
her body, but her gesture was incredibly beautiful. She seemed
like a free bird. I reached over to her and took her head in my
arms, then with strength that surprised even me I held her close
to me.
"K-Kasuga-kun."
"Ayukawa."
I was filled with a mysterious power, which surprised even me.
It gave me the self-confidence to look straight into Ayukawa's
eyes when I would normally have been trembling.
"I feel strange," I told her. "Kind of like a caveman. I feel
like I want to conquer you, to take you."
"K-Kasuga-kun."
"Don't get me wrong. I'm taking your feelings into account
and everything. But I feel like I want to throw all that away and
just take you. I love you, Ayukawa."
"......"
"Enough to cry. I love you so much, I can't stand it. I want
you so much, I didn't know...didn't know I was such a barbarian.
Oh, Ayukawa."
Just then a ship in the distance blew its foghorn. I realized
that a strings session was still playing on FEN. As if trying to
calm the wildness that was welling up inside me, I tried to
concentrate on the melody. But it was no use.
Ayukawa, I've become like a child. A child that wants what's
in front of him. Ayukawa was looking at me. Her eyes seemed
distant. Those eyes were looking at me, but it was as if they were
looking past me, at some far-off point.
Ayukawa said, "It doesn't quite fit, does it?"
"Doesn't fit? What doesn't fit?"
"Calling me 'Ayukawa, Ayukawa' at a time like this."
As if suddenly freed from some spell, I pulled Ayukawa's towel
off by force. Acquiescing now, my angel let out a little noise
in the darkness. I wouldn't be stopped. I furiously buried my
face in the soft, milky-whiteness before me. Then, as if to justify
my actions, I called her name again and again.
_Madoka! Madoka!_
So that's when I started calling Ayukawa by her first name!

*****

The next day, Madoka received the first postcard from Hikaru-chan
in Hokkaido. It was a postcard of the famous Tropistina Temple. Half
of it was a Hikaru's self-portrait. Then, how are you? I'm sorry
for not writing for so long--that sort of thing. At the end, she had
written, "When I graduate from this high school, I plan to go to New
York."
When I read those words, I remembered something my twenty-two
year old self had said, three years from now. Early summer. It was
a summer, just like the summer where Madoka and Hikaru-chan and I had
to stop being "three friends" and moved on. Will that dangerous
triangle begin again?
Was that spark provided by me, nineteen year old Kyosuke Kasuga?
The summer of 1994.
It felt just like that other summer, long ago.
_That early summer of 1994._

Endnotes

(1) If you care, Kyosuke and Ayukawa go to Waseda University,
judging from shots of the college in the movie. I had an opportunity
to study overseas in Japan at Waseda once, and if I'd known that the
school was the Orange Road characters' alma mater I wouldn't have
turned the chance down. Stupid me.
(2) I'm only going to cover this once, so pay attention: _Oniichan_,
older brother. _Oneechan_, older sister. _Ojiichan_, grandfather.
_Obaachan_, grandmother. The first 'O' on all family relationships
is to show respect, although it's optional with family members and
really has no meaning. _Senpai_ is a term used to refer to
upperclassmen by lowerclassmen.
(3) Kurumi's approximation of a woman's aroused moaning.
(4) PKO, "Peace-Keeping Operations," refers to Japan's sending of
Self-Defense Forces on a UN-sponsored peace-keeping mission to Cambodia.
(5) _Buru-sera_ comes from "bloomers, sailor-suits" and is the
stupidest media-created sex craze to ever seize a nation. Basically,
these shops buy dirty panties, sailor-suit high school uniforms, etc.,
from junior high and high school girls, they sell them to sex
perverts, while recruiting for soft- and hard-porn actresses along the
way. There's a whole genre of "_buru-sera H videos_" that feature
high school recruited in this manner. You can occasionally find these
panties in (I'm not bullshitting you) vending machines. There's one
near my house.
(6) _Musuko_ means "son" and refers to a man's penis. _Musume_
means "daughter" and corresponds to the female's similar organ. Now
you know some Japanese slang.
(7) If you want people to think you're an educated Orange Roadie,
you have to pronounce this "ah-ba-ka-bu."
(8) Would someone please explain to me why neither of the kisses
in the "six-years ago" episodes qualify as Kyosuke and Ayukawa's
first kiss? What about the end of episode 48? We know from the
reference to "the time" they all went to Ojiichan's house that the
Orange Road movie does follows the series universe, as opposed to the
manga universe, in which they go to Ojiichan's house two times.
(9) If you're wondering why Ojiichan's name is Kasuga when
presumably the name comes from Takeshi's side of the family, remember
that the Japanese have a tradition , called _muko ni naru_, of the
man taking his wife's last name and being adopted by his wife's
family if her family has no sons. This must be what has happened.
(10) For those of you who follow these things, except for "Kyosuke
Kasuga, Tokyo" scrawled on a letter in the Hawaii manga story, this
is the first concrete reference to where Orange Road takes place. Up
til this time, "_kono machi_" ("this town") has been all we'd been
told.
(11) The guardians of Buddhist temples, such as the Toshogu in
Nikko or Todaiji in Nara. These are fierce-looking statues carved
out of wood with fierce, intense expressions.
(12) Another incongruity. What happened to Ojiichan's warning
that, when a person touches his body from another time, that person
will disappear forever, as seen in episode 48?
(13) FEN, the Far East Network, Armed Services Radio, "serving
those who serve in Japan."
(14) For Orange Road fans interested in knowing the answer to
this question, checkout Seishun Shitemasu's fan-dub production,
_Kimagure Orange Road: The Akira Story_, written and directed by
yours truly.

--
Keeper of delicious Ayukawa *POWER* cookies!!!
IRCnicks: Kyousuke and KyoSukebe; Manga artist; Ikkokukan Times contributor;
Very enthusiastic Virtual Reality programmer; ASUCLA Graphics Designer
Fatally contracted with AWOL syndrome: Anime as a Way Of Life :)