[Ranma][FanFic] Daigakusei no Ranma - Episode 29
Saotome Ranma
I've been waiting
Since the world stood still
A picture in my mind
An image left behind
I love you and always will
All I needed was a miracle
To see that I was wrong
Yeah, all I needed was a miracle
To realize what was going on
'Cause in this world
There is only one
And in this life
Under the sun
In this heart
Is the life of love
In this heart
Is the life of love
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| Daigakusei no Ranma |
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| Created by David Tai and Paul Gallegos |
| |
| Based on the characters created by Rumiko Takahashi |
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-= Episode 29: "Ranma, Mighty Ranma, at the Bat" =-
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[In Nabiki's bedroom, her alarm goes off, vainly trying to wake her. An arm
flails outward from the sweaty tangle of limbs and sheets to bang futilely on
it for several seconds before giving up and just shoving the offending device
off her nightstand. It falls to the floor with a clatter but keeps beeping.
Finally, Nabiki opens one eye.]
Nabiki: [grumbling] Next year... no morning classes. Really.
[She gets up, clad only in her underwear, and wanders to the bathroom. As
she does, she pauses by Junko's room. The room has been stripped bare, with
only the bed and desk left. Nabiki sighs, then the sigh turns into a yawn
and she heads for the kitchenette, figuring that the bathroom can wait until
after a little coffee.]
* * *
[Lunch time at Mizunoikan. Nabiki is eating with Akane and Ranma at one of
the cafeterias.]
Ranma: Shimada-san's gone? Really?
Akane: But... she never said anything...
Nabiki: [sourly] It was a surprise to me, too, and I ROOMED with her, for
crying out loud.
Akane: I'm sorry, oneechan. But why did she leave so suddenly?
Nabiki: Turns out that she flunked a lot of her courses last semester and
didn't tell anyone about it.
Akane: Not even Shirow?
Nabiki: Shhh!
[Nabiki points surreptitiously at a nearby table. Sitting there alone is
Shirow. He could almost pass for Ryouga because of the sheer amount of angst
he is generating. Everyone is making detours around him.]
Shirow: The world is a dark and lonely place. [looks down at his sketch pad]
What is it that makes us human? Is there some spirit that is unique
to us? What if our bodies were machines? Would that spirit remain?
Can such a spirit survive being split in two?
[Back at Nabiki's table, the three watch as he starts weeping.]
Ranma: Man, he's got it bad.
Nabiki: Does that answer your question, Akane?
Akane: But why leave NOW? Why didn't she leave over break?
Nabiki: Remember, I said she didn't tell anyone? Well, she didn't tell her
parents either.
Akane: Oh... so they--
Nabiki: They found out, came down here, and packed her up quicker than one
of your Amagurikens, Ranma. Now I have to look for a new roommate.
Akane: Have you tried Student Housing? I heard the Freshman dorms are pretty
crowded. Some have three students to a room.
Ranma: Yeah, Nabiki... You can probably find a new roommate there.
Nabiki: [rolling her eyes.] Oh, right, I want to room with a freshman...
[looks at Akane] who's NOT related to me.
Akane: It wasn't THAT bad... was it?
Nabiki: [smirking] Only if you count Tanaka-san serenading you and your
attempts to cook.
Akane: Oneechan!
[Ranma reaches out and clasps Nabiki's hands.]
Ranma: Nabiki, you have my deepest sympathies. That you endured such
horrors...
[Akane starts to glower at him.]
Nabiki: [blushing slightly] Ranma, you're performing a very dangerous martial
arts maneuver right now. It's called "Open Mouth, Insert Foot."
Ranma: Huh? [looks at Akane] Oh... Akane, you know I think your cooking's
much improved... really!
[Akane opens her mouth to yell at him... then closes it and settles for an
evil grin.]
Akane: OK, then, 'dear.' You can try this new recipe of mine tonight for
dinner. Unless you have a problem with that?
[Ranma quickly shakes his head, though he seems to be turning slightly green
at the thought. Nabiki stifles a giggle.]
* * *
[That night, at Maison Sabaku. Ranma and Akane are in their room, watching
TV. A baseball game is on. Ranma is clutching his stomach occasionally and
looks a little pale.]
Akane: Yay! Home run!
Ranma: [groaning] I didn't know you were into baseball, Akane.
Akane: Stop complaining. it wasn't THAT bad!
Ranma: You didn't TRY it!
Akane: Well... okay, I'm sorry. I know, I should have. But don't insult
my cooking like you did with oneechan again, OK?
Ranma: [groaning again] Believe me, I've learned my lesson. So, what's with
baseball? I never saw you as a big fan.
Akane: [a little embarrassed] I'm not, really... it's just-- [looks back at
the screen] Agh! That umpire is blind!
Ranma: [rolling his eyes] Whatever.
Akane: [grinning mischievously] What, can't you like anything that doesn't
have martial arts in it?
Ranma: Nope, not really.
Akane: And what about what we did last night?
Ranma: Whaddeya mean 'last night'--? [blushes] Oh. Well, er, that was
martial arts. Sorta.
Akane: [suddenly scowling] What do you mean, it was martial arts?
Ranma: Well, it's got moves you repeat, you gotta read your opponent and make
the right responses--
Akane: [angrily] Ranma...!
Ranma: Ulp! [suddenly interested in the game] Look, Akane, the ump's called
another strike!
Akane: [quietly] Ranma no baka. [turns back to the game] Agh! Another out?
Look what you made me miss, Ranma!
Ranma: I don't know why you're so worked up about a guy's sport, Akane.
Akane: [growling] What do you mean? Girls can play baseball!
Ranma: Guys play baseball, girls play softball. That's the way it is.
Akane: Oh yeah? Where did you hear that?
Ranma: [looking puzzled] That's what we did in high school, wasn't it?
Akane: I bet you that we girls can beat you guys at baseball!
Ranma: Hah! C'mon, Akane, you know I never lose.
Akane: What about Kunou?
Ranma: [grumbling] That wasn't sports. Besides, it was a fluke.
Akane: Oh, so you're scared of the challenge?
Ranma: What? No way! I'll beat you and your team any time!
Akane: Deal! If I win, you have to do the chores here for a month!
Ranma: Aw, Akane!
Akane: A bet has to have stakes.
Ranma: Fine, whatever. But if I win, you have to change your stage name to
Saotome.
Akane: What?
Ranma: [mimicking Akane] 'A bet has to have stakes.' Geez,
you been hanging around Nabiki?
Akane: Fine!
[They shake on it.]
* * *
[Nabiki's room. She is sitting by her computer, working on a complicated
spreadsheet, and balancing a textbook on her lap while typing periodically.
The phone rings. She looks at it crossly for a moment, then sighs and picks
it up while trying to keep her place in her book.]
Nabiki: Hello? [listens] Oh, Akane... I'm in the middle of something right
now... you what? He said what? You want me to do what? [pause]
Akane, you know I'm not into sports. [pause] I'm sure it will be fun.
[pause] Yes, I like to do things with my family. [pause] You're not
going to give up until I say yes, are you? [pause] Fine, fine, I'll
do it, OK? What? Ranma wants to talk to me? [pause] Cut to the
chase, Ranma. [pause] That means 'spit it out', Saotome. [looks
incredulous] I'm on the other team, baka. I can't find you another
player. [pause] Fine, fine. there's this guy in one of my classes.
His name is Sagashi Kikumura and he's into baseball. [pause] Why do
you ask if he's rich? [pause] OK, so he's got money, that doesn't
mean-- [pause] Look, do you want him or not? Good!
[She hangs up. For a moment she looks at the phone as if daring it to ring.
It doesn't, so she goes back to work. All is quiet for five minutes, then
the phone rings again.]
Nabiki: Argh! [picks up phone] Hello?
Female voice on the phone: Hello, may I please speak to Nabiki Tendo?
Nabiki: Speaking.
Voice: Ah, Tendo-san, my name is Odayaka Fukuyama. Student Housing gave me
your number. You have a room to rent?
Nabiki: Already? I just told them this afternoon.
Odayaka: [sounding uncomfortable] Well, I got there right after you told them,
I guess. I was wondering if I could come and see the room?
Nabiki: [thinking] Hmmm... this could be interesting. [aloud] Well, it's
seven o'clock right now... can you come over tonight or would
tomorrow be better?
Odayaka: [sounding relieved] Tonight would be fine, Tendo-san. I'll be over
around eight o'clock.
Nabiki: Alright, see you then.
[They both say goodbye and Nabiki hangs up the phone. She looks around the
room.]
Nabiki: Well, I guess I should clean it up a little....
[Soon old take-out boxes are in the trash and some dirty laundry is safely out
of sight.]
Nabiki: [sweating slightly] How did Kasumi-oneechan do this all the time?
[With that done, Nabiki goes to her desk and rummages through it. Finally she
pulls out a Student Directory for Mizunoikan.]
Nabiki: Fukuyama, Fukuyama... ah, there she is. A Freshman? That's just
great. Well, she's in the business school, at least.
[Eight o'clock rolls around and there is a knock at the door. Nabiki opens it.]
Nabiki: Right on time.
Odayaka: Thank you, sempai.
[Odayaka enters the room. A small, petite girl, only five-foot-one, she is
well proportioned for her height, making her seem somewhat elfin. Her hair is
long and dark with reddish highlights and her eyes are light gray. She has
very pale skin that is as fine as porcelain and she carries herself gracefully.
Her nose is a little too button-like to really fit her face and that makes her
merely pretty instead of beautiful. She is carrying a long black case and a
suitcase in her hands and there are half a dozen boxes outside.]
Nabiki: [looking at the boxes] Hey, I thought you were just going to look at
the room tonight.
Odayaka: [smiling softly] I didn't want to waste any time if it was acceptable.
May I see the room, please, sempai?
Nabiki: Um, sure.
[Nabiki leads her over to Junko's room.]
Nabiki: It's a little small and we'll be sharing a bath, of course, but--
[Odayka enters the room and looks around. She closes her eyes for a moment.]
Nabiki: Fukuyama-san?
[Odayaka's eyes snap open and she smiles at Nabiki.]
Odayaka: It's perfect, sempai. If it's alright, I'd like to move in right away.
Nabiki: Well, are you sure... I mean, you hardly know me and you've barely
looked at the room...
Odayaka: [blushing] I REALLY need to get out of the dorms, sempai. [she pauses
for a moment] You see, it's my roommate. She really likes to have
the room to herself and....
[Odayaka waves her hands in a 'you know' sort of gesture.]
Nabiki: Ah, likes to have her boyfriend over, right?
Odayka: No, her girlfriend.
Nabiki: [blinks] ah... yes, I can see where that would be... uncomfortable.
[Odayaka puts down her cases and goes out to get a box.]
Odayka: Actually, it was the noise that bothered me the most. I couldn't
study with all that racket.
[Nabiki looks at her new roommate and swallows nervously.]
* * *
[Maison Sabaku in the early morning. Inside Room 4, Akane and Ranma are
getting ready to go to classes.]
Akane: [grinning mischievously] So, how are you doing with your team,
anata-baka?
Ranma: [frowning] Hey!
Akane: What's wrong now?
Ranma: [looking for her mallet] Why'd you call me stupid?
[They head out the door and start down the stairs.]
Akane: Because you can't take a joke? Now, c'mon, Ranma, how's your team?
Ranma: It's doing alright. I got Ryouga, Lardy, Mousse, and two guys from my
PE classes. They're twins, Hideo and Tomokazu Noda. They're really
into baseball, though Tomokazu is studying to be a doctor. I thought
of asking Sato, but he's disappeared on one of his trips again.
Akane: Who else?
Ranma: Um... well, Nabiki's gonna ask some Kikumura guy...
Akane: You need at least nine people, anata-baka.
Ranma: I KNOW, kawaiikune-chan!
[They both look at each other, their faces turning red. Then Akane starts to
giggle and Ranma can't keep from laughing either.]
Akane: Okay, maybe anata-baka is too silly.
Choji: [sticking his head out of his room] What's all the noise? It's too
early in the morning for all this racket.
Akane: Good morning, Ketibeppu-san.
Ranma: Oi, Choji... hey, do you know anything about baseball?
Choji: [shaking his head to clear it] A little. Why?
Ranma: Great! Me an Akane are gonna have a baseball game. Wanna play?
Choji: Sports? As in actively play? No way! I've got better things to do.
Ranma: Aw, c'mon, you gotta.
Akane: Stop pestering him, Ranma. [teasingly] Better find those other players
or we girls are going to win by forfeit.
Choji: [brightening] Girls? Who's playing in this game?
Akane: Ranma said that girls can't play baseball, so me and my sisters, and
Shampoo--
Choji: [leering] The girl at the Nekohanten?
Akane: [nods hesitantly] Y-yes.
Choji: Yes! [falls at Ranma's feet] Please! Let me play! I'll do it!
Ranma: Er... okay.
[Hitomi steps out into the hall.]
Hitomi: What's the pervert up to now?
Akane: Oh, Hitomi-san! Do you want to play a game of baseball?
Hitomi: [surprised] What?
[Akane pulls Hitomi over and whispers something to her while Ranma tries to
get Choji off the floor. When she's done, Hitomi goes over and swats Ranma
on the head lightly.]
Ranma: Hey! Whatcha do that for?
Hitomi: Trust me, Ranma-kun, you deserved it. [turns to Akane] I'll play.
[Kazuya now steps out of her room, having heard all the commotion.]
Kazuya: My, my, what's going on?
[They quickly tell her. When they're done, she smiles.]
Kazuya: This sounds like fun. Do you need an umpire? I think Yamakawa-san
used to do it for a neighborhood league.
Ranma: Toshi?
Akane: That'd be great, Kanrinin-san!
Kazuya: [smiling] I'll talk to him about it. I hope that I can get to see
the game?
Akane: Sure! You can even keep score for us, if you want.
* * *
[Nabiki's apartment. Odayaka is making some tea at the kitchenette when
Nabiki comes in. The middle Tendo sister's clothes are dusty and
grass-stained and she looks like she's about to collapse.]
Odayaka: How did baseball practice go, sempai?
Nabiki: [groaning] I want it on the record that I thought this was a bad idea
from the start.
[She practically falls onto a small futon.]
Nabiki: First, Akane started pitching underhand, like in softball. Then
Shampoo wanted to use her BIKE to go around to the bases. Yuriko kept
fiddling with strange devices and cackling to herself. Ukyou wanted
to use her spatula to bat and we learned that the only baseball
Makiko's ever played was on a video game!
[Odayaka considers this and then nods to herself.]
Odayaka: Just a moment, sempai.
[She enters her room, opening the door just enough to slip inside. After a
moment, she comes back with a bowl, a ladle and some cloth. She gets some
things from the kitchenette and walks over to the table. Carefully, she
arranges everything.]
Odayaka: [bowing] Please, sempai?
[Nabiki looks up. She is surprised to see the preparations for a Japanese Tea
Ceremony at the table. It is simple and relatively informal, but all the
implements are there. Odayaka keeps bowing until Nabiki walks over to the
table.]
Odayaka: [very politely] I apologize for the inadequacy of the setting, sempai.
Nabiki: [struggling to remember what goes on at the tea ceremony] Please, pay
it no mind. It's--It is fine.
[Odayaka bows again and picks up the chashaku, or tea scoop. With simple,
graceful motions, she cleans the chashaku carefully with a silk cloth. She
then puts the chashaku back where it was in the exact same position. Then she
takes the chawan, or tea bowl, and pours hot water into it. She dips the
chasen, or tea whisk, into the chawan, then raises it slightly to check the
tines. Then she carefully cleans the chasen and wipes the chawan with a linen
cloth. Then she bows again to Nabiki. Nabiki starts, having been entranced
with Odayaka's motions, then bows back. Odayaka then uses the chashaku to
carefully scoop green tea into the chawan. Taken the chasen, she gently
whisks the tea, careful not to spill or agitate the tea. Then, she gracefully
bows and places the chawan in front of Nabiki.]
Nabiki: [carefully placing the chawan before her and bowing] Thank you for the
tea.
[Nabiki then takes the chawan with her right hand and places it on her left
palm, steadying it with her right hand. She bows her head slightly to express
thanks. Then she turns the chawan clockwise twice in order to avoid its
front. She sips the tea, drinking it all slowly. When she finishes, she lets
out a small breath, wipes the place where she drank with her finger and
carefully places the chawan back on the table so it faces her. Then she
places her palms on the table and examines the chawan. She picks it up in
both hands, keeping her elbows on her knees, and looks at it closely, then
puts it back down. She turns the front of the chawan toward Odayaka, and they
both bow. Odayaka then pours the hot water into the chawan, and rinses it.
She cleans the chasen above the chawan by pouring the hot water over the tines,
and then rinses the chasen in the chawan. After discarding the water again,
she cleans the chashaku with the silk cloth and replaces the tools. She then
bows to Nabiki, who bows in return. For several minutes, they are both quiet.]
Nabiki: Thank you. That did help.
Odayaka: It was nothing, sempai. I find the cha-no-yu to be relaxing, but
this poor ceremony was barely adequate.
Nabiki: It was fine, really. Where did you learn to do all that?
Odayaka: [turning slightly pink] My uncle thought it was something his niece
should know.
Nabiki: Your uncle?
Odayka: [gathering the tools] Please excuse me, sempai, I really need to get
back to my studies. I hope that your game goes well.
[Odayaka steps hurriedly into her room, once again opening the door just
enough to slip inside. The door locks with an audible click. Nabiki stares
after her.]
* * *
[The sun shines brightly on a warm autumn afternoon with only a few white
clouds to block it. At the Mizunoikan athletic field, it shines on a baseball
game. At the mound, winding up for the pitch, is Mousse. Up at bat is Akane,
who is gripping her bat with the same intensity she holds her infamous mallet.
Behind her, catcher Choji flashes a sign. Mousse nods, goes into the pitch,
and...]
Toshi: [dressed as an umpire] Steeeeeeee-rike One!
Akane: Che!
Choji: [to himself] I sign a curve and he throws a fastball... what, is that
jerk blind? [leers at Akane from behind] On the other hand, I don't
mind if she stands there a little longer...
Makiko: [from third base] Come on, Akane! Knock it out of the park!
Shampoo: [at second] Hmph! Violent girl only good for hitting airen.
[Everyone is dressed in t-shirts and pants, except for two exceptions. Mousse
is still wearing his typical robes. Hitomi, in the dugout, is wearing shorts
and her t-shirt is knotted at her waist. In the stands, Kazuya is dressed in
her normal clothes, keeping score.]
Nabiki: [From the dugout] You can do it, Akane! [she turns to Unryuu Akari,
who is sitting next to her] Care to place a bet on whether she
strikes out or not?
Akari: [who only has eyes for Ryouga at first base] Yay, Ryouga!
Nabiki: [rolling her eyes] Which side are you on?
Kasumi: Now, now, Nabiki... it's only natural that she's on her boyfriend's
side. Isn't it nice?
Nabiki: Yeah, swell... I don't know how Akane talked me into this.
Kasumi: But this is so much fun!
Ukyou: [standing just outside the dugout, ready for her turn at bat] C'mon,
Nabiki, you know Ran-chan has to be punished for what he said.
Nabiki: Oh, I know... I wish that blockhead would think before he speaks...
and I wish he and his wife didn't keep dragging us into everything.
Toshi: STEEEEEEE-rike Two!
Yuriko: [scribbling on a notepad] Hmm, Akane's feet should be 3 centimeters
further apart and she should--
Kasumi: So, Nabiki-chan, I hear you have a new roommate? What is she like?
Nabiki: Odayaka? [shrugs] She's a little shy, but I think it'll work out.
She certainly is dedicated, though. She spends almost all her time
studying.
Kasumi: She sounds very nice. I know you'll be great friends.
Nabiki: [rolling her eyes slightly] Right, Kasumi. [yells] Knock it out of
the park, Akane!
[At home plate, Akane scowls at Mousse as he goes into his pitch. He fires
off another fastball. This time, as the ball rockets toward her, she imagines
Ranma's face superimposed over it.]
Imaginary Ranma: Biiii! Kawaiikune! Tomboy!
Akane: RANMA NO BAKA!
[With a mighty crack, Akane hits the ball and it shoots up, up, and away.]
Kunou: [in right field, his eyes on Akane]
'A woman's face with Nature's own hand painted
Hast thou, the master-mistress of my passion;
A woman's gentle heart, but not acquainted
With shifting change, as is false women's fashion;
An eye more bright than theirs, less false in rolling,
Gilding the object whereupon it gazeth;--'
[Suddenly, the ball slams into his face. Kunou sways drunkenly for a moment.]
Kunou: That didn't hurt.
[He falls over backward.]
Lardizabal: [At second] Moron! [he yells at the center fielder] Go get it,
Hideo!
Ranma: [at shortstop] Man, I KNEW I shouldn't have asked him.
[Hideo Noda doesn't have to be told. A tall, muscular freshman with brown
hair, he's already running for the ball. Meanwhile, Makiko is already
reaching home base and Shampoo is bearing down on the third baseman, a
handsome youth with dark hair.]
Third Baseman: Throw me the ball!
[Hideo has reached Kunou and grabs the ball. Akane has reached first and is
heading for second now.]
Ranma: No, throw it home! Home!
[Hideo nods and throws. Choji raises his glove to catch it...]
Shampoo: [rounding third] Is not so easy to beat Amazon womans!
[The ball arches toward Choji as Shampoo puts on a sudden burst of speed. Out
of the corner of his eye, Choji sees her bearing down on him with all the
fierce implacability of an avalanche. But this is not what distracts him.
Rather it is the sight of Shampoo running... freely, so to speak, in a
t-shirt.]
Choji: [to himself] Oh, my...
[The ball shoots past his glove.]
All the guys: CHOJI!
[Choji starts and turns to grab the ball, but it is too late. Shampoo reaches
home plate, slamming into him and raising a huge cloud of dust. When it
clears, Choji is on the ground with Shampoo perched on his back, one foot on
home plate.]
Toshi: SAFE!
Girls: "Yay!" "Way to go, Shampoo!" "You'll get them next time, Ryouga-kun!"
Kazuya: [smiling] The score is now Girls 2, Guys 0, at the top of the first.
One out, and a runner at second.
Akane: [at second, thumbing her nose at Ranma] Biiiii!
Ranma: [grumbling] The game's not over yet, kawaiikune. [yelling] Someone
wake up Kunou! He's delaying the game!
[Kunou is revived and the game goes on. Ukyou now comes up to bat. She has
chosen a shiny aluminum bat that she holds like her battle spatula.]
Toshi: That's not the way you hold a bat, miss.
Ukyou: [smirking] You do things your way, I'll do them mine.
[Mousse winds up, gets ready to pitch, and lets loose a curveball. Ukyou
swings and -- *BAM* -- the ball shoots out toward left field.]
Left Fielder: [who looks exactly like Hideo] I got it!
[He jumps and catches the fly ball right in his glove.]
Toshi: YER OUT!
Ranma: Good catch, Tomokazu!
Lardy: That's the way to show them, Tomo!
[Ukyou wilts a little, then sighs and straightens up as she heads for the
dugout. She high-fives Nabiki as the middle Tendo sister heads for the plate.]
Ukyou: Hit it out of the park, Nabiki!
Nabiki: Um, right....
[Nabiki takes a stance at the home plate, looking a little uncertain. Mousse
smirks. Pitch and swing.]
Toshi: STEEEEE-rike one!
[Pitch and swing]
TOSHI: STEEEEE-rike two!
[Mouse winds up for another pitch, the glinting off his glasses.]
Shampoo: [jumping up from dug out] MOUSSE! SHAMPOO DATE YOU!
Mousse: [letting loose a wobbly pitch] Wha--?
[Nabiki doesn't swing at it, noting it's far outside the strike zone.]
Toshi: Ball One!
Shampoo: [calling out to Mousse.] Never mind. Mousse too weak.
Mousse: But, Shampoo!
Ranma: Mousse, don't let her rattle you like that!
Mousse: Right, right....
[He winds up for the pitch.]
Shampoo: SHAMPOO DATE RANMA!
Akane: [angry] What?
[This pitch goes wild.]
TOSHI: BALL TWO!
Lardizabal: What's WITH you? Pitch the damn ball straight!
[Mousse is visibly steamed this time. His third pitch doesn't need any
encouragement from Shampoo to go wild.]
Ukyou: [to Shampoo] That wasn't very nice to do to Mousse.
Shampoo: Hmph! Blind duck boy deserve it if he rattle so easily.
[Still, Shampoo says nothing as Mousse winds up for his next pitch. Nabiki
closes her eyes and swings. *SMACK* She opens them in amazement to see the
ball go bouncing into the infield.]
Akane: RUN, NABIKI!
[Nabiki runs for first. Mousse meanwhile shoots out a chain at the ball,
grabbing it and yanking it back to his hand. He then turns and shoots it at
Ryouga, who catches it and tags out Nabiki.]
Akane: Hey, ump! That's not fair!
Mousse: [smugly] My hidden weapons are part of me, the same as my arms and
legs.
Toshi: Time! [pointing at Mousse] Come here you! [He frisks Mousse down.]
Chikusho, I thought I saw... [turns to Akane] I can't find any chain.
She's out!
[The girls are noticeably steamed.]
Akane: Those CHEATERS! Those... those... BOYS!
Kasumi: Oh, my, that wasn't very nice.
[The guys come in off the field. The third baseman stops Ranma as they head
in.]
Third Baseman: Saotome, why didn't you have them throw the ball to me? I
could have stopped her!
Ranma: Sorry, Kikumara-san. It looked like Shampoo was moving too fast...
better safe than sorry.
Kikumara Sagashi: You cost us a point!
Ranma: [starting to get steamed] Look, I made a call, and if Choji hadn't
gotten distracted, it would have worked. Now get in the dugout! We've
still got a game to win!
[Sagashi heads for the dugout with ill grace. Ranma shakes his head.]
Ranma: I should have known anybody Nabiki found for free would be trouble.
* * *
[It is now the bottom of the fourth, and the guys are at bat. Akane is on the
mound, pitching. The bases are loaded, with Hideo, his twin Tomokazu, and
Ranma. Ryouga has just stepped up to bat. Behind him, Kasumi is the catcher.
The score is now Gals 5, Guys 7.]
Kasumi: [getting out a broom] Oh, my, look how dirty this plate is...
[She cleans it and then smiles at Toshi, who shakes his head.]
Toshi: PLAY BALL!
[Akane pitches, Ryouga swings and -- *pow* -- it's knocked deep into center
field. Nabiki immediately runs to retrieve it as the guys on base head for
home. Except for Ryouga. He sets off for Third base and slams into Hideo.]
Ranma: Ryouga! You're going the wrong way!
[Hideo, who can't believe his eyes, turns Ryouga the right way and pushes him,
heading for home. Ryouga, his face burning red, is now headed for the
pitcher's mound. Meanwhile, Nabiki has finally reached the ball. She starts
running back. Makiko, in left field, heads toward her, closing the distance.]
Ranma: [reaching second] Man, I can't believe that idiot!
Hitomi: [second baseman, smirking] Look out, Ranma-kun, he's coming toward you.
[Indeed, Ryouga has somehow gotten to second base.]
Ranma: [spinning the Lost Boy around.] First! You have to go to First first,
you moron! That's why it's called first base! We covered this LAST
inning!
[Nabiki throws the ball to Makiko, who catches it. Tomokazu crosses the home
plate.]
Ryouga: [growling] Ranma! This is all your fault!
Ranma: [unimpressed] Come and get me, P-chan!
[Hitomi suddenly tags them both with the ball, which Makiko threw to her while
they argued.]
Hitomi: You're out, Ranma-kun. [winks at Ryouga] You too, handsome.
Ranma & Ryouga: What? [they turn to each other] Look what you made me do!
Akari & Akane: Those idiots.
[They look at each other and start to giggle. Out on the field, Ryouga is
trying to contain a nosebleed while Hitomi continues to look at him, giggling.]
Toshi: [checking the rulebook] I don't think they have rules covering players
getting lost on their way to the bases...
* * *
[Top of the sixth and the score is now Gals 9, Guys 10. There is one out and
Akari is at second. Yuriko steps up to the plate with a metal bat. On the
bat are a number of blinking LEDs.]
Toshi: Hmm, is that a legal bat?
Yuriko: Of course it is! I bought it myself from the sporting goods store!
How dare you accuse me of stealing! I'll have you know that it is
that sort of small-minded, sexist thinking that--
Toshi: [looking sorry for ever asking] Right, right. Looks legal to me.
[to himself] As legal as hidden chains and boys who get lost on their
way to the plate from the dugout.
[Mousse pitches and Yuriko swings. As she does, the LEDs on her bat begin to
blink in unison.]
Yuriko: [thought] Yes! Now my Heuristically Intelligent Transient Targeting
Electronic Resonator Mark 4 will prove that my theories are correct!
[The bat lives up to its name and slams into the ball. The ball goes shooting
to right field. Yuriko drops the bat and runs.]
Yuriko: [thought] It works! it works!
[Behind her, the bat suddenly stops falling and reorients itself in mid-air.
In right field, Kunou grabs the ball and throws it to Ryouga. The bat takes
off like a rocket toward first base.]
Yuriko: [watching the throw from right field] Damn! I need to work on the
power and accuracy! If I--
[The bat suddenly slams into her head, knocking her down as it zooms to the
ball in Ryouga's hand.]
Yuriko: [weakly] Must correct... that... in next version.
* * *
[Bottom of the seventh inning. The score is now Gals 12, Guys 13. Kunou
steps up to the plate.]
Kunou: [reciting]: 'On this autumn day
Lovely Huntress, I see you!
I would date thee now!'
Akane: [seething] Who wants to date you?
[Her ball ends up in Kunou's side. He staggers, but doesn't fall.]
Toshi: Take a base!
Kunou: [turning toward the dugout] Saotome! Your foul sorcery has caused the
beauteous Akane's pitch to strike her true love! But I am not fooled
by such base treachery!
[Another ball is thrown, this time from the guy's dugout, catching Kunou in
the head. Kunou goes down.]
Toshi: [wearily] Time!
* * *
[Top of the eighth inning. Kasumi is now at bat, and the score is Gals: 14,
Guys 13. She smiles at Mousse and holds her bat at ready.]
Toshi: Play ball!
[Mousse pitches.]
Toshi: BALL ONE!
[Another pitch.]
Toshi: BALL TWO!
[A third pitch.]
Toshi: BALL THREE!
Ranma: [calling out] Time! [He runs over to Mousse.] Mousse, what's wrong.
You're going to walk Kasumi AGAIN if you're not careful.
Mousse: But... I might hit her!
[Ranma looks at Mousse incredulously, then looks over at Kasumi, who smiles
and waves at him.]
Ranma: [sighing] Right, walk her.
* * *
[Bottom of the ninth. The score is Gals 16, Guys 14. Mousse is at third
base, Ranma is at second, and Ryouga is at bat. There are two outs.]
Ranma: Come on, Ryouga... just hit that ball as hard as you can and we can
win this thing!
Akari: [In right field] You can do it, Ryouga!
[Ryouga begins to sweat under the pressure.]
Ryouga: [thinking] If I hit the ball I'll win the game... but it means Akari
loses! But if I miss, I'll have failed my team! But Akari... my
team... I'll win if I lose but lose if I win... or I'll lose if I win
and win is I win... or--
Toshi: STEEEEEEEEE-rike one!
Ryouga: Huh?
Lardizabal: Wake up, bandanna-boy!
Sagashi: You're gonna lose the game, moron!
Ryouga: [thinking] No! I must concentrate! Everyone is counting on me!
[Akane winds up and pitches.]
Hitomi: [calling out] Hey, handsome, how about a date?
[She winks at Ryouga and he freezes.]
Toshi: STEEEEEEE-rike two!
Akari: Akiyama-san!
Ranma: Hitomi!
Hitomi: [shrugging] All's fair in love and baseball, Ranma-kun.
Ryouga: [despairingly to himself] I'm going to lose! Forgive me, my teammates,
forgive me Akari!
[Ryouga begins to glow with a dark aura. Ranma stiffens, recognizing the
beginnings of the Shi Shi Houkudan.]
Ranma: Shit! Everyone get down!
[Akane pitches the ball. it seems to slowly move through the air towards the
terminally depressed boy.]
* * *
[Meanwhile, in a nearby pump room.]
Workman 1: Okay, let's check the pressure on pipe 22B.
Workman 2: Right!
[He walks over to a nearby control panel and accidentally trips on a toolbox.
As he falls, his flailing hands hit a row of switches marked SPRINKLERS.]
* * *
Akari: [screaming] Ryouga, swing!
Ryouga: [hears Akari] Swing?
[He automatically swings his bat up and lightly taps the ball into the
infield... and suddenly the sprinkler system underneath the athletic field
turns on. The water drenches everyone with predictable results.]
Ranma-chan: Aw, man....
Hitomi: [eyes boggling] Ranma... kun?
Ranma-chan: [putting her hand behind her head] Er, yeah... sorry 'bout this.
Mousse-Duck: QUACK!
P-chan: Bweeee!
Akari: [running towards P-chan] Ryouga!
[Everyone else just stands and stares at their transformed teammates. Hideo,
Tomokazu, and Sagashi seem to be the worse off. Kazuya and Yuriko both look
shocked. Toshi is searching the rulebook for any mention of players turning
into pigs, ducks, and girls.]
Kunou: PIG-TAILED GIRL!
[Kunou glomps onto Ranma-chan.]
Kunou: At last you've escaped the foul clutches of Saotome!
Ranma-chan: Get offa me!
Hitomi: What do you think you're doing?
[Both Hitomi and Ranma-chan pound Kunou's head into the mud.]
Akane: [sighing] Guess the secret's out now...
Kasumi: I should go get some hot water.
[Meanwhile, Shampoo-neko claws her way out of her clothes.]
Shampoo-neko: Meow!
[Ranma-chan's pigtail suddenly stands on end.]
Ranma-chan: C-c-c-c-c-cat!!!!!
[Ranma-chan runs off screaming.]
Nabiki: Did we win?
Makiko: I'd hate to have gone through all this and lose...
[Toshi finally gives up on the rulebook, which has become to sodden to read.]
Toshi: That's the ball game!
Kazuya: [A little hesitantly] Final score: Gals 16, Guys 14.
[The girls start cheering, while the remaining guys seem to dazed to really
object. Lardizabal pulls his gourd out and sloshes it.]
Lardy: I MUST have drunk some of this...
* * *
[Later, at the Nekohanten, eighteen very muddy people are celebrating their
victory or drowning their sorrows. A few very belated explanations are also
being made.]
Yuriko: [to Ranma and Akane] Cursed springs?
Ranma: I know, I know, it sounds pretty incredible.
Hitomi: [shrugs] Hey, if you hang around Sato enough, you see worse.
Ranma: [groans] That's great to know.
Yuriko: [sighs] I'm just glad to know it wasn't because of me
after all.
[At the next table, Lardy and Makiko are both passed out.]
Ukyou: I am not dragging their butts home, that's all I've got to say.
Mousse: I'll help you, Kuonji-san.
[A bottle of sake comes flying at him from behind. Mousse ducks and the
bottle goes flying toward Ranma's table. Hitomi sees it and grabs it out of
the air and slams it down on the table. The whole bar applauds.]
Akane: Nice catch, Hitomi!
Hitomi: [smirking] Well, don't tell anyone, but I'm really a master of Bar
Fu Ninjutsu.
Ranma: Really?
[Hitomi whacks him lightly on the head.]
Hitomi: [grinning] See? How else could I hit the world's greatest martial
artist?
Ranma: Hey! I wasn't ready! Try it now!
[At another table, Kazuya and Toshi shake their heads.]
Toshi: I always knew that Saotome kid would be trouble.
Kazuya: Oh, hush. Admit it, you had more fun today than you have in months.
Toshi: Well....
[Nearby, Kunou, Sagashi, Hideo, and Tomokazu are drowning their sorrows.]
Hideo: Ranma... turned into a girl.
Kunou?: [very drunk] Do not shpeak ill of my pig-tailed girl! [starts crying]
OH, PIG-TAILED GIRL!
[A plate smashes into the back of his head, knocking him out]
Ranma: I'm a GUY, you jerk!
Shampoo: [from the back] Airen, you pay for plate!
[Nabiki, Kasumi, and Yuriko sit nearby, watching all this with weary looks.
Well, Nabiki looks weary. Kasumi is smiling, and Yuriko is scribbling madly
on bar napkins.]
Yuriko: But how does the 'curse' violate the laws of conservation of mass?
Perhaps--
Nabiki: Well, looks like the craziness has caught up to us again, sis.
Kasumi: Well, Nabiki, at least this time there is one big difference.
Nabiki: What?
Kasumi: [smiling] WE don't have to live with it all the time.
[Nabiki nearly chokes on her drink]
Nabii: [finally smiling] You're right about that, sis.
Kasumi: Oh, aren't we missing some people?
* * *
[We are in some dark forest somewhere. Ryouga is there, with Akari.]
Ryouga: WHERE THE HELL ARE WE NOW?
===============================================================================
finis.
===============================================================================
NOTE:
"Anata-baka" literally means "you idiot," but could also mean "stupid darling"
from a wife to a husband.
===============================================================================
There's a dark cloud ahead +---------------------------------------+
A place we can't see | Writers: ............. Jeff Hosmer |
We don't know what tomorrow holds | ............... David Tai |
But believe you me | ........... Paul Gallegos |
| ....... John Walter Biles |
Take it one day at a time | |
Don't try to hide +---------------------------------------+
Take the reins of your life | Artist: ...... Alexandra Teixeira |
Make a choice - gotta decide 'cause +---------------------------------------+
| DnR Companion: Mike "Nelson" Gulick |
You get one chance +---------------------------------------+
One chance to get it right | Special Thanks to: ............ J., |
That's what I was told | Tucson Animation Screening Society, |
But after all this time | and of course Rumiko Takahashi |
I'm living my life +---------------------------------------+
And now I know | Copyright (c) 2000 |
There's always a second chance | Digital Knight Communications |
Take it one day at a time +---------------------------------------+
===============================================================================
"Ranma 1/2" and its characters Copyright (c) 2000
Viz Communications, Inc., Shogakukan, Kitty Animation
and Rumiko Takahashi
===============================================================================