[Ranma][FanFic] Worse - Book 1: Chapters 1-7

[Scott Jamison]

(scene: The CyberX Cafe. Ranma and Akane sip Italian sodas,
while Scott looks depressed.)

Ranma: So, this "Worse" thing. You ever going to post it?

Scott: Well I don't normally post things I've not finished yet...

Akane: I know I'm tired of waiting around...

Scott: Okay, ok, but you might be sorry...

(Note: the following is a sort of sequel to my previous story "Sequence".
It helps to have read that story, but should not be absolutely
necessary. The important plot points are: 1) Due (apparently) to a
poorly-worded wish, Ranma is trapped in a world where he was born female.
2) Ranma now has a younger brother, Hikaru, who has the Drowned Maiden
curse. 3) Ranma still has four fiancees, they're just not the same ones.
We join our story in progress as two familiar-looking Chinese people
show up...)

WORSE
by Scott K. Jamison
(Note: Ranma 1/2 characters and situations created by Rumiko Takahashi;
Hikaru's given name and looks in female form created by CLAMP; No
infringement intended.)

Chapter One
In Which It Was Not All Just a Dream

"Make it stop! Please make it stop!" But of course it didn't
stop.
Mousse and Shampoo had reverted to shouting Chinese at each
other. Ranma had picked up more of that language over the last year or
so than he'd ever let on, and was able to pick out "idiot", "easy",
"weak" and "kill". Not that she couldn't guess what they were talking
about without those hints.
Hikaru had recovered from his own shock enough to go into martial
arts macho mode. "Hey! No one kills my sister while I'm around!"
Which was nice of him to say, but some very disturbing pictures
flashed in front of Ranma's eyes, and she knew she couldn't let him
defend her. She rose back to her feet, her cheek still burning where
Shampoo had kissed it.
"No, Hikaru, I can fight my own battles. If Shampoo wants a
piece of me, I'll be more than happy to oblige her."
"But you're a girl!"
"I'm n--So is Shampoo! And we're both a lot more dangerous than
we look."
Mousse broke off arguing with his countrywoman. "You speak as if
you know Shampoo. Have you been to Joketsuzoku? I would have thought
I'd remember such a lovely girl."
"Hey, that's right, and you knew Mousse's name and that he speaks
Japanese even before he showed up. I thought you and Mom had been in
Nerima this whole time."
"Um, er, ah..."
"Shampoo kill now!" said the purple-haired girl, bringing her
bonbori to bear.
Now this was something Ranma could deal with. She took up a
defensive stance. Shampoo charged right on in. Yep, good old
overconfident Shampoo, thought Ranma as she used the same feint and upper
kick that had won their first battle a world away. Of course that other
battle had been in the open; here in the apartment there was a ceiling in
the way.
"Beautiful and strong!" exclaimed Mousse. "Truly you are the
bride I have searched for!"
"I am *not* your bride, Mousse. Not now, not never!" Ranma
leapt up and pulled Shampoo's head out of the ceiling. "Hey, Shampoo,
you okay?"
The Chinese girl was out cold, but nothing looked broken.
Mousse was embracing Hikaru again. "Ranma, you will soon come to
understand that I am the only man for you!"
"I'm not Ranma, you half-blind twit!" replied her brother,
planting a foot in the white-robed boy's face.
At this point, Genma stuck his head into the hall.
"Are you kids fighting already?" He saw Mousse. "Eep!"
"What is it, dear?" came Nodoka's voice.
"Nothing, dear, just the kids roughhousing."
Ranma saw red, and dropped Ranma's head. "How could you, Pops?
You sold me like a side of beef! Have you no shame? Have you at last no
shame?!"
She leapt at her father and started punching. Genma, startled at
her vehemence, could barely defend himself, and was soon flat on his
back.
"Stupid stupid stupid old man!"
Hikaru pulled her off their father. "Hey, Sis, cool down,
woulja? It's not the end of the world."
Not the end of the world? thought Ranma. Maybe not your world,
but it is mine. My world is gone, replaced by this twisted dream that I
can't wake up from! "AAGHH!"
Mousse cleared his throat. "It would seem that I've come at a
bad time. I'll return to claim my bride when you've all calmed down."
He leapt back out through the hole Shampoo had made, not bothering to
take her with him.
Nodoka appeared, trying to fit a loose lock of hair back into her
normal neat style. "What *was* all that screaming about? Darling,
you're hurt! Who's that girl? And why is there a hole in the wall?"
One short explanation later--
"You traded our daughter for *food*!?"
"It was the onlything I could think of at the time. I didn't
think he'd take it so seriously." Genma squirmed a bit.
"Had you forgotten your bargain with the Kunou family?" Nodoka
asked pointedly.
"Kunou?"
"You know, the one that engaged me to that Tatewaki clown?" put
in Ranma.
"Oh, is that the boy's name? By George, you're right, I had
forgotten about that." Nodoka frowned, and Genma blanched.
"I'm sure something can be worked out, dear."
"And who is this young woman, then?"
"Her name's Shampoo, and she wants to kill me because Mousse
wants to marry me. And if she wasn't serious before, she will be now."
Ranma applied an ice pack to the Chinese girl's forehead. Even though
she was lethal awake, Ranma couldn't help remembering how cute and
affectionate she could be.
"But you beat her!" said Hikaru. "That should mean she leaves
you alone, right?"
"*sigh* Don't I wish." Ranma rifled Shampoo's pockets and found
what she was looking for. "this is the Amazon rulebook. Check out page
12."
"I can't read Chinese." replied Hikaru.
"Neither can I, and we *know* Pops can't, but the third column is
the Japanese translation."
"Oh. Lessee, 'If an Amazon is beaten by an outsider woman, she
must track down and kill the one responsible for this defeat.' Ooh,
nasty, but why didn't you let me take her?"
"Next paragraph."
"...But if she is beaten by an outsider male, she must marry him
so the village will have strong children.' Yuck! She'd actually marry
some guy just because he beat her up? You can sure tell these rules were
made up by some stupid girl."
Ranma glared at him. Shampoo stirred but did not wake.
"You seem to be pretty conversant with their customs, Ranma.
Where did you learn all this?"
"Um, well, I'm doing a report on the Amazon Village for Women's
Studies class. It's amazing what you can find on the Internet."
"I should have known it would take a connection to fighting to
get you to study." said Nodoka, apparently convinced. Genma was too
intimidated by the women of his family to dispute anything, but Hikaru
was clearly unconvinced. Of course, he'd heard the most. Ranma made a
mental note to get cracking on that report.
"But what are we going to do about her? Perhaps we should call
the authorities."
"No!" said Ranma. "She'll just come gunning for me again later.
She can stay in my room tonight, and I'll try and convince her to leave
in the morning."
"What if she--"
"She'll wake me up to kill me. Sense of honor and all that.
Once she does, I can handle her."
Her mother looked puzzled and worried, but Hikaru nodded. "I
guess you can at that. Scream if you need me." He headed off to his
room.
"Are you quite sure...I see you are. We're all a stubborn lot,
aren't we? Very well. Your father and I have things we need
to...discuss." Ranma didn't envy Genma one little bit at that moment.
She made Shampoo as comfortable as possible on her futon, and
leaned back to try and relax.
The Chinese girl appeared to be dreaming. She murmured
"Shih-shih." Father. Ranma remembered that he'd known her father
briefly, when he'd worked at the Nekohanten trying to get the cure for
the "full-body cat tongue". That had been the first time he'd gotten
stuck in girl form, at the worst time to be a girl, too. It was a
painful memory. Shampoo's father, Ranma didn't even recall his name, had
been a quiet type, always subservient to Cologne. The old bat had sent
him back to China after about a month, and Mousse had taken over many of
the same duties.
Thinking of Mousse made Ranma shudder. The way he'd been
obsessed with Shampoo in the real world--
Wait a minute. There was something wrong with that picture and
Ranma couldn't quite put her finger on it. So she started to think.
Thinking wasn't her strong point, so it took a while. She
remembered buying a birthday present for Akane, the collision with Kunou,
the argument with his uncute fiancee, and the fatal wish, "--I wasn't
engaged to any girls!" The supposedly non-wish-granting ring
glowing...Ranma wondered if you could get refunds for false advertising
in another reality...waking up as female from birth, and all the changes
stemming from that.
Ah! She felt she was getting close to the nub of the problem.
Okay, a second child because Genma wanted a son, not going on that
training trip because Hikaru went instead, Akane friendly towards her
because they weren't being forced to marry each other, so far so good.
No engagement to Ukyou either, so no broken heart with all the stuff that
had done to her. And instead Ranma was engaged to (Yuck!) boys,
including Mousse.
Back round to the relationship between Mousse and Shampoo. And
there was the part that didn't make sense. Everything else was more or
less logically the result of a single chromosome change from Y to X. But
the Chinese pair's relationship had been fixed in place at age three in
their remote village. Ranma's current gender shouldn't have had any
effect on it whatsoever.
And yet it seemed that now Shampoo chased Mousse, not the other
way around. Most curious. Ranma chewed over the implications and what
she could do about them for a while, then nodded off.
Ranma was awakened in the wee hours by Shampoo stirring. She
peered through "closed" eyelids as the Chinese girl approached, then
poked Ranma with a bonbori. "Time to d--"
With the speed that was a trademark of Saotome Style martial
arts, Ranma struck, putting Shampoo in a double leg lock that not only
pinned her arms, but would snap her neck if she tried to move them.
"Finish. Shampoo not afraid die." Her eyes said she was lying.
"I don't want to kill you, Shampoo."
"Must kill or die." Her Japanese seemed a bit better than her
first visit in the real world. That might make this easier.
"I won't tell Cologne if you don't."
"Ranma know Great-Grandmother?"
"It's along story, and you wouldn't believe it. I'm going to let
go now, okay?"
Ranma flipped over and released. both girls landed on their
feet.
"Why for you nice Shampoo?"
"It's a very long story. Now, which is more important to you,
following the rulebook exactly, or doing things right."
"Um...do things right...but Shampoo no break Amazon laws."
"Okay, now you're doing this because you want to marry Mousse,
right?"
"Right."
"Now, I don't want to marry Mousse. My father had no right to
sell me to him. So the important fight is still open, and you can still
win. But your opponent isn't me, it's Mousse."
"Shampoo no get."
"The only one who thinks Mousse should marry me is Mousse. So
all you have to do is change Mousse's mind."
"That hard. Mousse very stubborn."
Don't I know it, thought Ranma. "Yes, it will be a great
challenge. Only the best Amazon warrior could pull it off." That ought
to do it, appeal to her pride.
"Shampoo do it! Shampoo strongest warrior! Ranma smart, like
Great-Grandmother." Her smile was back, making her as cute as ever.
"One more thing before you go. Let me show you a quaint Japanese
custom. We call it 'using the door.'"
With Shampoo safely outside, Ranma slumped gratefully back to
sleep.

To Be Continued

SKJAM!
(Official Blasphemer of the Church of Azusa)

(Scene: Scott's apartment. Scott pecks away at the computer
which Ranma and Akane play Magic: the Gathering.)

Akane: And My Craw Wurm eats your stupid Leopard Warriors!

Ranma: Dang! At least I didn't lose any life. Say, Scott, isn't it
about time for another chapter of "Worse"?

Scott: I suppose it is. Why don't you clue new readers in on what
happened previously?

Ranma: Okay, well, severely provoked by my uncute fiancee--

Akane: Hey! Just for that, I'm tapping a Mountain, and you can eat a
Lightning Bolt!

Ranma: 3 Life. Ouch. Anyhow, I wished "I wasn't engaged to any girls!"
And darn if it didn't seem to come true. I woke up as a girl since
birth.

Akane: Serves you right.

Ranma: This brought on a whole host of changes, one of the biggest of
which is that I now have a little brother named Hikaru, who has the same
curse I used to.

Akane: Don't forget the fiances.

Ranma: Yeah, due to my new gender, I'm now engaged to *yech* guys! In a
twisted parody of my own experience in Joketsuzoku, my old man sold me to
Mousse as a fiancee to pay for a stolen meal. Mousse showed up trying to
marry me, and Shampoo trying to kill me. I managed to beat Shampoo, but
convinced her that she hadn't lost the important battle: the one for
Mousse's heart.

Akane: And that takes us up to now!

WORSE
by Scott K. Jamison
(Takahashi/CLAMP disclaimer)
Chapter Two: In Which We Revisit Familiar Ground

The next morning, Ranma was woken with a reminder that the family
was going to visit the Tendou house today. She informed her parents that
Shampoo was gone, if not for good, at least for a while. Again cursing
the loss of his favorite outfits, she finally decided on jeans and a
loose t-shirt, with a gi to change into later.
Nodoka disagreed. "You're not going out like that."
"Like what?"
"You know perfectly well what I mean. What kind of mother will
people think I am, if they see you parading around braless?"
"Yes, Aun-Mom." Ranma groaned inwardly. In the rush of
happiness at being reunited with Nodoka, she'd forgotten how irksome her
mother's "proper young lady" routine could be. And she didn't even have
the refuge of "Ranko Tendou" to retreat to.
At least Happosai isn't here to see this, thought Ranma as she
strapped on the undergarment. Unless that had changed too. No, Mr.
Tendou hadn't seemed at all apprehensive as he would if the perverted
master were loose.
That was a thought. The old bastard had the Nan-Ban Mirror in
his possession. If Ranma could somehow get it away from him and use its
time travel capabilities to stop himself from making that wish... No,
too many "ifs" in that plan, and besides, his last experience with the
mirror had been less than pleasant. Ranma filed the idea away for a
desperation move.
After a hearty breakfast (though Ranma tried, just a little, to
eat more like a lady, and Genma seemed subdued) they were off. Ranma
nearly choked when she saw a long cloth bundle under Nodoka's arm, but it
was just an umbrella.
It came in handy about halfway there when a shower started.
Hikaru and Genma scrambled for its cover, and initially so did Ranma.
Then she remembered that she didn't have anything to fear from
precipitation any more. The worst had already happened.
Ranma began to skip in the downpour, and dance a bit, while
humming "Singing in the Rain."
"Don't tease your brother, dear."
"It don't bother me none." rasped Hikaru. He was already wearing
his red and black martial arts outfit.
At the Tendou's Ranma quickly changed and joined the others in
the training hall. Hikaru was showing off some kata.
"Okay, little brother, let's see what you've got."
"I don't fight girls."
"Don't worry. I'll go easy on you." She meant it too. After
all, not only did Ranma have the same ten years of intensive training
with Genma to draw on, but over a year's experience learning and
countering some of the world's most esoteric martial arts techniques.
"All right, Sis. But you asked for it." He tossed his head,
making his long braid sway.
As they studied each other, circling for advantage, Ranma's
worries faded. Combat was her element, the one place she was always
prepared.
Hikaru started with a series of feints to test Ranma's defenses.
She blocked easily, then set up a quick sideways move. He countered.
Ranma smiled. Little brother wasn't so easily tricked. She decided to
press the attack.
Hikaru was a good dodger. Slippery as an eel, actually. But
Ranma was adjusting, and in a moment more--there was a tap on her
shoulder. The distraction cost her a moment's concentration, and Hikaru
got in a clean shot.
"Oof!" Ranma backpedaled and looked for a good opening. As she
moved in again, Hikaru flicked his head, and his braid wrapped around her
wrist, pulling Ranma off balance for another hit.
"So that long braid isn't just for show."
"Nope. I saw it in an old kung fu movie and liked the idea so
much I taught myself the trick."
"Okay, since Hikaru knew a technique she didn't, it was time to
move on to advanced Anything Goes style. The battle rapidly became too
involved to adequately describe on paper; suffice it to say that Hikaru's
braid, striking and winding like a snake, almost but not quite made up
for Ranma's greater experience.
"Your son has a unique fighting style, Saotome." observed Soun.
"Yes, well, let him enjoy his hair while he may." Both fathers
laughed. "And you seem to have done an excellent job training my
daughter."
"Hrm. Her recent progress is remarkable."
"You're pulling your punches!" accused Hikaru.
"So are you," replied Ranma. "Ready to crank up the volume?"
Both of them began to glow with ki.
Soun clapped his hands. "Well done! An excellent demonstration.
But there are others waiting to spar."
"No fair!" cried Hikaru. "I was winning!"
"Sometimes that's the best place to stop, son. While there's
still a dojo."
Hikaru opted not to watch Akane's practice with her father.
"I've had all I can take of macho chicks for one day. I'll just grab a
quick bath."
Ranma did stay. Akane looked to be a bit better than when he'd
first met her in the real world. She remembered seeing photos of Akane
and "herself" at various tournaments on her bedroom wall. Apparently,
having someone close to compete with had sharpened the Tendou girl's
skills.
After practice was done, Soun motioned Ranma over.
"So, Miss Saotome, you've been holding out on me. You certainly
didn't learn some of those moves from this dojo." Uh-oh.
"I've been practicing new moves in secret. I didn't think they
were good enough to show you yet, Sensei."
"I disagree, Ranma. It's clear that your family had produced two
superior martial artists. Too bad you aren't a boy. I'd marry you to
one of my daughters like a shot!"
"I'm...sure you would." If you only knew!
Some old habits die harder than others, and Ranma panicked and
beat a hasty retreat when she found a very naked Akane in the bathroom.
"Where are you going Ranma? I need you to scrub my back!"
It's okay, Ranma reminded herself. This Akane doesn't think of
me as a perverted weirdo. She opened the door and walked back in.
"You were really something out there today. Oh, Hikaru must have
smacked you a good one. Your nose is bleeding."
"Oh great, thought Ranma as she wiped her nose, *now* I get the
hots for Akane. Oh well, just keep your cool. She stripped down, then
began scrubbing the other girl's back.
"A little less hard, Ranma. Say, I never did get an answer from
you yesterday."
"About?"
"These last three days, you've been acting pretty weird. Asking
questions you should already know the answers to, treating familiar
people like you've just met them, and your martial arts... I mean, you've
always been good, but you went from black belt to master level overnight.
What's going on?"
Hoo boy.
"That's a difficult question. How shall I begin..." Great, now
I sound like Pops.
"Turn around so I can scrub your back, and we can talk it over in
the tub." Actually, it felt good to have Akane scrubbing her back, and
Ranma was able to relax just a little. What could she, no, what *should*
she tell Akane? The whole truth was just too monstrous, but how many
times had he hurt Akane in the past by holding back explanations, when a
little bit of truth would have made everything all right, if a little
embarrassing? She frowned in thought.
"Get in, Ranma. The water's not that hot."
Right. It would never be hot enough now. Not ever again. No
cure, ever, because this female body was the real thing, not a curse.
"So?"
"Akane, this is going to be hard to believe, but you must promise
that you will, and that you won't tell anyone. When I woke up Friday
morning, my memories were...mixed up."
"'Mixed up?' How?"
"It's like I was living a completely different life up till now.
I remember peoples' faces and names, but not what's happened with them,
or how I should feel about them. My own mother was practically a
stranger to me."
"Oh no, Ranma!" Apparently enough truth was coming through in
Ranma's words to convince Akane.
"And instead I've got memories of things that never happened.
Suddenly I'm an expert on cursed springs, Chinese Amazons and esoteric
martial arts. It's weird, and I really don't know exactly who I am any
more."
"You really don't remember anything about your real past?"
"Hardly anything. Like, how the heck did we *both* get engaged
to Kunou?"
"Well, it happened shortly after Hikaru was born. Our fathers
got into some sort of financial bind. I don't know what exactly, Father
refuses to talk about it, and Kasumi was too young to pick up anything
other than that money was involved, but they needed a lot of money and
fast. So they borrowed it from the Kunou family, and as part of the
collateral, Tatewaki gets to have one of us as his bride."
"That sounds like the kind of agreement Pops would go for."
"Upperclassman Kunou found out when he was fifteen and we were
fourteen. We didn't find out until the day he dropped by gym class to
check us out. He decided he liked us both so much he wouldn't give
either of us up until he absolutely had to choose one. So he declared
that no one else was allowed to date us, or he'd beat them up. And since
we're the only two people at Furinkan who can take him in combat, it's
been spinster city for me ever since.
"You're relatively lucky. Ryouga's such a moving target that
he's never even met Kunou, and Tsubasa, well as near as I can tell, he
enjoys pain. But though I get lots of anonymous love letters, the only
boy that dares even get near me is that geek with the camera fixation."
"Gosunkugi?"
"Yes, I think that's his name."
Well, that was depressing. Not much better than the gauntlet
Akane had to go through in the real world. Ranma wanted to put her arms
around Akane to comfort her, but bad memories held the former boy back.
She knew girls were allowed to be more touchy-feely in these situations,
but how far was too much? Besides, she was still feeling embarrassed
about them being nude together, so it wasn't a good time to experiment.
"How about--"
"Lunch is ready, girls. Hope you've soaked enough," came
Kasumi's voice through the door.
Lunch was nice. Both Ranma's families together and talking
peacefully. Okay, reasonably peacefully. Hikaru's table manners were
atrocious, and Akane's sharp tongue quickly raised his ire. But Nodoka
kept a firm hand on temper levels.
The talk soon turned to tales of the children growing up, and
Ranma started listening more than she ate. This was vital information
about the past she hadn't lived through.
She recognized some of the stories of the Tendou sisters from the
real world, but with little differences, mostly dealing with her own part
in affairs. As far as Ranma could gather, she'd been quite the tomboy,
only reluctantly following a more feminine path with her mother's
insistence.
"You remember, Ranma, you wanted so badly to learn martial arts
because Akane was? You begged for days and days, so I finally agreed to
let you try. I was very surprised at how quickly you took to it."
"Um."
Hikaru had gotten bored and wandered off, and Nabiki had
followed. There was a tell-tale splash, and the next thing Ranma saw was
her half-naked brother in girl form sprinting through the living room
with Nabiki in hot pursuit.
"I'm not your dolly and I don't wanna play dress-up!"
"But you'd look so cuute in this," cooed Nabiki, holding out a
frilly pink frock many girls would have been embarrassed to wear, let
alone a boy.
Ranma remembered this scene all too clearly from the real world.
Nevertheless, she couldn't help bursting into laughter. It was just so
much funnier when it happened to someone else! The others started
laughing too.
"Aw, c'mon, Sis, you're not gonna let her do this to me, are
you?"
"Sorry, Hikaru, but maybe you should put it on. You've got your
*snicker* feminine modesty to think about."
"Huh?" Hikaru looked down and realized "she" was topless.
"Ooops, forgot..." and edged out of the room, keeping well away from
Nabiki.
Shirt safely back in place, it was time to go.

To Be Continued...

In our next chapter, Hikaru goes to school!

SKJAM!
"Love, love, Minky Momo"
comments to ma...@cyberx.com please!
(Unless of course you want to get really detailed, in which case post to
RAAF so everyone can see it...)

(Scene: Scott's apartment. Scott pecks away at the computer
while Ranma watches "Sliders" and Akane tries to master a string buzzer.)

Ranma: Pikers! Hey, that reminds me, it's time for you to put out
another chapter of "Worse".

Scott: I dunno. At this rate, I'll soon be out of written parts.

Akane: Don't worry. When you run out, you can use one of your fillers
again until you catch up.

Scott: Right. Why don't you kids catch up any new readers on what's
going on.

Ranma: Well, in the last chapter I finally got to spend some time naked
together with Akane--

Akane: Pervert! (Whacks him with the buzzer.)

Ranma: Ow! But it didn't really count, 'cause I was in girl form at the
time. Actually, I'm in girl form all the time now, because some stupid
wish put me in a world where I was born female.

Akane: Although this didn't get you out of your fiancee troubles, did
it? Now you're engaged to boys!

Ranma: Yuk! And why did one of them have to be Kunou? The best part of
my new world is that I have a new little brother, Hikaru, who's almost as
good a fighter as I am. In this world, he was the one dragged off by
Pops on that training trip, so he's the one stuck with the Drowned Girl
curse.

Akane: Yeah, and Nabiki wanted him to play dress-up. Let's see, you
were just leaving the dojo...

WORSE
by Scott K. Jamison
(Takahashi/CLAMP disclaimer)
Chapter Three: In Which More Is Disclosed

As they left, Nodoka turned to Ranma.
"I'm taking your father and brother shopping for some new
clothes. Be a dear and get a light supper ready?"
"Me? But--"
"Don't worry. Just remember you're cooking for four instead of
two, and you'll do fine, Ranma."
That's women's work, Ranma finished in her head. But as far as
anyone knows, I am a woman. And it's not like I can't cook.
"Okay, Mom."
After that big meal at the Tendou house, they wouldn't need that
much supper anyway. Back at the apartment, Ranma checked to make sure
there were enough ingredients, then estimated how much time would be
needed.
"Okay, if we eat at 6:30, that means...do this bit now, then I'll
have a couple hours free."
The preliminaries were soon finished. Ranma decided to explore
her room. She hadn't really gotten around to it before, being so
distracted the last couple of days.
Wardrobe: fairly extensive, but for the first time, Ranma really
understood what Akane meant by "nothing to wear." Half the stuff was so
out of fashion even Ranma could tell, and most of that looked too small
anyways. She could spot telltale marks of strain on the seams of what
obviously had once been favorite outfits.
Ranma sighed as she felt fine stitching of tears. Her mother had
made do. Still, maybe there would be some budget for the Chinese-style
outfits Ranma liked. And the underwear drawer was incredibly
well-stocked.
Music: She had her own (well-worn) Walkman! Most of the tapes
were idol singers, heavy on the pretty-boy types. But there were a few
decent rock tapes, an enka cassette that had never been unwrapped
(present from Kunou, she was willing to bet,) and something called
"Boiled in Lead." Ranma summoned up her limited command of English and
decided that didn't make sense. The flyleaf indicated it was from
Nabiki. Girl always had had strange taste in music. Ranma popped it in,
and was pleased to discover that after a blood-curdling scream at the
beginning, it was quite listenable.
Books: A whole bookcase! Some sappy-looking romances, old
textbooks, a complete collection of Yawara, a couple of SF paperbacks,
assorted martial arts texts (liberally annotated with scrawls like "learn
this technique"), several classics (presents from Mom...) and a well-worn
volume with a blank cover.
This last gave Ranma a shock. It was one of the type with blank
pages you filled in yourself, and inside was a crudely-drawn shoujoish
manga about a passionate love affair between Ryouga and herself!
Repelled, yet unable to look away, Ranma read on. It started
with the heroine finding a way to cure her beloved of his wandering, and
got steamy from there, though never actually pornographic. It had
obviously been the work of several years, as the art improved in spurts.
She had had it bad for Ryouga. At least until Friday.
I don't feel that way now, thought Ranma. So what happened to
the mind that was in my body before? Does she still exist? Maybe she
wished to be out of being engaged to guys, and we switched. If that
happened, I'll bet she's sorry now, what with the curse and all...
Memories of the real world flooded back. Faces friendly and
snarling, places Ranma had gone, adventures he'd had. Now they were
*only* memories. Ranma fought back tears. I won't cry, dammit! I'm a
man! And a cold thought came from the back of his mind: Who's going to
believe *that*, little girl? The tears flowed.
The ending of the tape brought Ranma back to what passed for
reality. Is it really that late? I've got to start supper now! Even
so, it ended up taking an extra fifteen minutes to get to the table.
Hikaru was grousing about having to go to school, but their
parents pointed out that even martial arts masters needed an education.
"By the way, Ranma, how's that report coming?"
"Still working on it, Mom."
She spent the next two hours trying to put down on paper
everything she'd learned about the Chinese Amazons. It was a pretty long
list, but needed a lot of work before a teacher would consider it
acceptable.
About bedtime, Nodoka knocked, then came in. One of the
advantages of having your own room was that people knocked.
"Honey, I noticed at supper that you'd been crying. Would you
like to talk about it?"
No, not that, think fast.
"Um, Mom, what do you think of my fiances?"
"Oh. I see. Well, I haven't met this Mousse person at all yet,
so I don't have any idea what to think of him. The Kurenai boy, Tsubasa,
was it? is obviously a pervert, and I'm glad you haven't encouraged him.
Tatewaki is a nice boy, if a bit pompous."
"Nice boy? Mom, he beats up any guy that tries to even come near
me or Akane!"
"You've never mentioned that before. Are you lying to me Ranma?"
"No!" Not about that, she amended mentally.
"I'm sure he means well. As your fiancee, he wants to protect
you."
"That kind of protection I don't need. And it's making Akane's
life downright miserable."
"All right. I'll speak to the boy's father when he's back in
town."
Ranma shuddered at the thought of the Principal. Dollars to
donuts he wouldn't have changed at *all*.
"Was that all, dear?"
"Well, I was wondering about Ryouga too--"
"You are never to mention that name again! The Hibiki boy is
forbidden to you for...for reasons you know full well." Her eyes held
fire. "There is no engagement, there never was, and never will be."
Whoa! That struck a nerve, thought Ranma. Wonder what he did?
Or was it something I did? God, we didn't, I hope...
"I'm sorry, Ranma, but it's for the best. You'll see when you're
a bit older."
Nodoka kissed her daughter goodnight and left.
Ranma's dreams were dark and confused. One was clear, though.
She was marrying Kunou so Akane could be free. Her skin crawled as the
ceremony continued. Then the priest said "you may kiss the bride," and
Kunou was embracing her, crushing her lips with his, groping her
body...and then Ranma turned back into a man...and Kunou wouldn't stop
groping him...
Even so, she got early the next morning, and suggested a nearby
empty lot for her, Hikaru and Genma to get some practice in. Ranma's
father seemed uncomfortable somehow, but agreed. The workout wasn't as
satisfying as the ones Ranma was used to in the real world. Genma held
back against her, getting pounded pretty badly.
"C'mon Pops, I'm not fragile you know. Besides, I'm fast enough
you can barely hit me anyways." That was true enough. Ranma's female
form had always been a bit faster than his male one, and now that she was
stuck with just the girl's body, she'd have to concentrate on its
advantages. It would take some hard training to bring herself up to the
speed she'd had in the real world, of course.
But Genma was saved further embarrassment when Nodoka called down
that breakfast was ready.
"I've enrolled Hikaru at Wushu Junior High, so you take him there
today, Ranma.
"Now, Hikaru, I know it can be rough your first day at a new
school, but try not to get into any fights today, okay?"
"Yeah Mom." He sounded bored, and obviously felt choked in his
school uniform.
"I don't know if it's a good idea to make him wear a uniform,
Mom."
"Wushu is much stricter than Furinkan on their dress code, dear.
there's more kinds of discipline than martial, you know." She handed
them their lunch boxes.
Akane showed up a bit early, which was good, since Wushu
was--Ranma strained to remember--a good bit out of the way to Furinkan
High.
Akane pointed out local landmarks on the way, and this was most
of the conversation. Hikaru seemed surprised when Ranma joined him on
the fence.
"You're not the only one who needs balance practice. Oh, you'll
want to be careful right around here; Mrs. Watanabe likes to clean her
steps early in the morning, and she's not real careful where she throws
the water."
"So. Oh, right."
"If you do get splashed, Dr. Tofu's place is the nearest you can
get hot water," put in Akane. "He uses a lot of it in his practice."
She had a note in her voice Ranma hadn't heard since early on with the
other Akane. Clearly the crush was still on here.
They dropped Hikaru off at the gate to Wushu, a generic-looking
junior high school. "Think you can find the dojo from here?"
"Sure. Meet you there after school. School, what a waste of a
perfectly good day."
"School has its good points. Sometimes. Bye now."
There was no Kunou to greet them at Furinkan. Odd, but it was
nice to get to class on time for once. The good feeling from that lasted
almost all the way to Women's Studies, and even that class was helped by
remembering the report.

To be Continued...

In our next chapter, more education for Hikaru!

SKJAM!
"comments?"
ma...@cyberx.com

(Scene: Sebastian Joe's Ice Cream shop, on a rainy afternoon.
Scott, Akane, Shampoo and Ranma enter. Scott is holding an umbrella over
Akane and Shampoo, but Ranma has reverted to female form. They order ice
cream, Ranma going for the most ludicrously huge sundae on the menu. A
table is found, and they begin eating.)

Akane: Honestly, Ranma. I don't know why you insist on pulling that
"girly" act every time we go to one of these places.

Ranma-chan: (*stuff, gobble, chew*) It always works! That counter guy
gave me half an extra scoop 'cause I turned on the "cute."

Akane: I know. But then you have to spoil the effect by eating like a
starving animal.

Shampoo: Shampoo think Ranma cute when look like starving animal!

Scott: I'll bet you say that to all the guys.

Shampoo (utterly failing her "detect sarcasm" roll): No.

Ranma-chan: Maybe it's time for Worse.

Shampoo: Worse than what?

Akane: Worse is Scott's current story. It seems that due to a stupid
wish, Ranma is stuck in a world where he was born female.

Shampoo: Shampoo get Ranma in this one?

Ranma-chan: Um, no, y'see, since I'm a girl full-time in this world, I'm
engaged to boys instead, including Mousse. And instead of him chasing
you, you're chasing him.

Shampoo: Aiyah! Why Shampoo do stupid thing like that?

Akane: Scott hasn't actually answered that question yet. In the last
chapter, Ranma explored his, er, her room, and discovered that the "her"
of this world was apparently in love with Ryouga, but her mom was dead
set against their relationship for reasons which also have not been
explained.

Ranma-chan: Don't forget that I now have a little brother named Hikaru
with the Drowned Girl curse. I wonder how he did on his first day at a
new school?

WORSE
by Scott K. Jamison
(Takahashi/CLAMP disclaimer)
Chapter Four: In Which Hikaru Gets More Education

After school, it was over to the Tendou home. Studying with
Akane was more fun than Ranma remembered. Maybe because the tension that
had always been there before was eased. Half an hour passed easily, then
Akane looked at the clock. "Shouldn't your brother be here by now?"
"Yeah. I'd better go check that he didn't get lost."
Ranma clambered onto the roof, took a bearing, then leapt off
rooftop to rooftop. She quickly spotted Hikaru only a few streets away,
and looking mildly lost. She descended to his side. "Where have you
been?"
The answer was pretty obvious from the way he looked. His
uniform was torn in two places, there was something sticky matted in his
hair, and he showed the beginnings of a good shiner.
"Hi Sis. Sorry I took so long."
"Dojo's over this way. Who'd you fight?"
"Kid named Goro Mintake. Big guy for a fourteen-year-old. Said
I looked like a sissy."
"Good fighter?"
"Pathetic." Hikaru spat. "But his eight buddies jumped me on
the way home. I'm not used to fighting cheaters." It went without
speaking that he'd won.
"You'll get used to that, and a lot worse. C'mon, let's get you
cleaned up. By then, Mr. Tendou's last class should be over, and we'll
have the dojo to ourselves."
Shortly, Hikaru, Akane and Ranma were in the training hall.
"You gotta be kidding me! I ain't fighting two girls!"
"I thought you might say that," replied Ranma, dousing him with a
bucket. Amazing how fast that transformation worked.
"Aw man, what'd you do *that* for?" snarled the ersatz girl.
"It rains a lot in Nerima, and we Saotomes have never had good
luck with water, so it's important you train to fight as boy *and* girl."
"This sucks." But he readjusted his gi and moved into a proper
stance.
"Okay, the differences aren't as great now as they'll be in a
couple of years when your hormones have really had a chance to work on
you, but the things to watch for are: as a girl, your arms and legs are
a bit shorter, so you have less reach and striking power. Also, you're
going to have less upper body strength, and a lower center of gravity.
Good points include a couple more degrees of bend at the elbow, and just
a bit more ability to stand pain. You might also be a bit faster." At
least that's the way it was for me, thought Ranma.
"You're going to have to learn to adjust your fighting style to
deal with these differences. In fact, you'll have to learn to adjust
instantly if you change during combat."
"How would *that* happen?"
"Suppose you get attacked at a public bath? Lots of cold and hot
water in those places to get splashed with."
"Oh-kay. I guess you got a point there."
"But just because you'll have less raw strength as a girl,
doesn't mean you should think you're turning into a wimp. Akane here can
decapitate a practice dummy with one punch when she's riled, and remember
Shampoo? She's even stronger."
"She didn't look that tough when you took her out." sneered
Hikaru.
"That was leverage. She wouldn't have impacted the ceiling
nearly so hard if she hadn't used so much strength in her attack. And
that's another thing you'll have to learn. Like with Pops, when your
opponent outclasses you in strength, you have to use skill to keep your
skin intact."
They began. At first, it looked like a copy of their previous
battle, but Hikaru soon discovered the reach problem for himself. He
adjusted, and soon was keeping up.
"Okay, now for the problem you had today, multiple attackers.
Akane, attack!"
"What th--OW!" Normally, of course, Akane wouldn't have been
able to lay a finger on Hikaru, but with his attention divided, he was a
much easier target. And as Ranma knew from experience, she could hit
like a sledgehammer.
Between the two of them, they quickly had Hikaru in a pinned
position.
"Okay, what did you learn here?"
"Never train with your sister."
"Wrong. First lesson: Never pass up the opportunity to learn a
potential opponent's style. If you'd stayed yesterday, you'd have known
what Akane was capable of."
"Not to mention it was rude." put in Akane.
"I didn't think an uncute tomboy like you would care."
"Little brat!"
"Watch the tongue, Hikaru. Second lesson: Don't let changing
circumstances in a fight distract you, but adapt to them."
"I can see that. Being distracted by Pops turning into a panda
is what got me this stupid body."
"Better. Now, what was the weakness in Akane's and my attack?"
"If I'd seen any weakness, you girls would've been the ones on
the floor."
"I saw it," said Akane. "We were attacking together, but not as
a team. Both our movements were restricted because we were trying to get
out of each other's way."
"So if I had seen that, I could've used it against you. Made you
crash into each other or something."
"Or something. Same time tomorrow, Akane?"
"No, I've got an appointment. Wednesday, then."
"Okay. Oh, hi Kasumi." The eldest Tendou sister had entered
with milk and cookies. "Could you bring some hot water for Hikaru?"
"Of course. Did you have a nice practice?"
"Fine, Kasumi. Love your cookies. Hikaru, one at a time."
"Do you have to be so bossy?"
"Hikaruu..."
"Okay, okay. Girls are so touchy."
"I'm not--uh, touchy." Ranma hated having to swallow that
sentence every couple of hours. Hikaru was sort of right, though, she
was really getting into this big brother, er sister thing. Already it
was hard to remember she'd only known him a few days.
"Do you think I can tell Mom I got this black eye in practice?"
asked the restored Hikaru as they walked home.
"Nah. Tell the truth. Mom's not going to be happy about you
fighting, but lying's worse. It just piles up and piles up until the
penalty for being found out gets worse than whatever you were trying to
avoid in the first place." Yeah, right. Like I'm not lying right now,
Ranma gloomily rebutted herself.
She thought about getting her male body back. There was the
Nanniichuan, of course, off in China, the Japanese Nanniichuan
(non-functional, the last she'd checked) and Prince Touma's spring on the
Isle of Illusion. Fat chance she had of finding that one deliberately.
Ranma couldn't tell her parents the real reason for a trip to any of
those places; they'd certainly disapprove of their daughter seeking a sex
change. There'd been a few wish items, like that sword Kunou had once,
but as her present situation demonstrated, wishes had a nasty habit of
backfiring. If she did get a wish, best to use it to undo the first one.
That usually worked.
"Sis? We're home?" She'd walked right past the door. Ranma
just wasn't used to thinking so much at a time.
Hikaru's news, as expected, got him a firm talking to, but that
could be endured.
Ranma worked on the Amazon report after supper again; it was
beginning to look readable, if you overlooked the handwriting. She
couldn't remember the last time she'd worked so hard on a school project.
Then again, in the real world, he'd usually been interrupted by two or
three fights a night.
Nodoka knocked twice and came in.
"Mom, I may be pushing it, but is there enough money in the
budget for me to have a couple of new outfits? I was looking through my
closet, and a lot of that stuff is too small."
"Am I hearing this right? You're actually *volunteering* to go
clothes shopping with me? Well, then, business has been decent lately,
so I don't think a couple of new dresses will bankrupt us. Come down to
the shop after school, you said you didn't have practice? and we'll find
you something nice." A quick kiss, and she was gone.
Ranma caught her breath. Not exactly what she'd had in mind.
She shut memories of past disastrous shopping trips with "Auntie Saotome"
out of her mind. More important was that she'd just realized she didn't
know what her mother did for a living, or where. How was she going to
find out without tipping Nodoka that something was drastically wrong?
That question was answered for her the next morning by Genma, of
all people.
"Must I, dear?" Ranma's father asked.
"It's just a few days moving crates until the regular man comes
back from Sapporo. A strong man like you should have no trouble, and by
then, something in your regular line should open up."
"So where is this shop?"
"Over in Fujiwara Street, by the Sakurayama Temple. It's between
an electronics store and a pet shop. You can't miss it."
Thanks, Pops, Ranma sent mentally.
No Kunou that day either. Ranma felt a little spooked. The
"Upperclassman" he'd known had always recovered quickly from even the
most crushing defeats. She asked Sayuri about it, but the other girl
knew nothing. And since she seemed as big a gossip here as in the real
world, that meant it really was a mystery.

To Be Continued

Next time: Ranma goes shopping, and a couple of familiar-seeming faces
appear!

Remember, I haven't finished this story yet, so your input may
actually have an impact...

SKJAM!

(Shampoo grooves to Shonen Knife: "I discover whiskers of a cat in the
timeless zone and I put them on my face, In a moment I become a sweet
little cat, and I dance on a flying saucer...")

(Scene: Title Wave video store; very similar to any other large
chain video place you've seen. Scott, Ranma, Akane and Shampoo are
browsing the new arrivals section.)

Scott: Dang, they *still* don't have the second Sukeban Deka anime
volume in yet!

Ranma: "Darkman III: Die, Darkman, Die!" Sounds good!

Akane: How about this one? (holds up "First Wives' Club")

Ranma: Naw, it hasn't actually come out on video yet.

Shampoo: "Heroic Trio!" Shampoo like this one!

(Everyone makes their selections, Ranma also loading up on candy,
and they pay at the counter.)

(They start walking back to the apartment, but stop by the Walker
Outdoor Sculpture Garden to admire the Cherry Spoon Bridge.)

Ranma: That reminds me. I'm hungry. (Tears open a box of Cracker Jacks
and stuffs the contents in his mouth.

Shampoo: Shampoo want hear more about "Worse".

Akane: The one where Ranma is stuck in a world where he was born a girl?

Ranma: *Grmf!*

Scott: Indeed.

Ranma: My new little brother, Hikaru got some training on fighting in
girl form last time. And Kunou's been missing ever since I beat him up
way back in "Sequence."

Akane: And today you're going shopping with your mom!

Ranma: Yeah, lucky me...

WORSE
by Scott K. Jamison
(Takahashi/CLAMP disclaimer)
Chapter Five: In Which Ranma Goes Shopping

After school, Ranma hurried to Fujiwara Street. She found the
temple easily enough, electronics store, pet shop, and between them--her
eyes refused to focus for a moment. It was a lingerie boutique. She
could feel her face turning beet red.
Oh, come on, she thought to herself. As far as everyone knows, I
*am* a girl, and have every right to go in there. She took a deep breath
and opened the door.
A teenaged boy (!?) behind the counter said, "Welcome to Silky
Doll! Oh, hi, Miss Saotome. Your mother will be with you shortly. Um,
if you talk to my sister, don't tell her you saw me up front. Kimiko had
to take an emergency phone call. Boy, one little video prank and they
never let you forget."
A minute later, the boy was relieved (very relieved) by the
regular counter clerk, who looked rather cross. Ranma wasn't sure how
well she was supposed to this Kimiko, so she just smiled and nodded.
Kimiko ignored her.
Several minutes passed before Nodoka emerged from one of the
fitting rooms, accompanying a rather stout middle-aged woman.
"It flatters you very much, Mrs. Emito," she was saying.
"So she says to my Johji, she says..." was babbling the customer,
who despite being in an entirely different conversation, seemed pleased
with the Victorian monstrosity she was carrying. Mrs. Emito paid for her
purchase and left.
Mrs. Saotome's smile slipped just a bit. "The fifteen she didn't
like are in Cubicle B. Can you handle things until close, Miss
Hiragana?"
"Yes'm," replied Kimiko. "It's not like *I'm* going anywhere
tonight."
"Give my regards to our employer." She turned to Ranma. "Been
waiting long?"
"Not really."
"While we're here, do you need any new lingerie?"
"Naw. *That* stuff I have plenty of." True enough. Apparently
Ranma's mother had used her employee discount to keep her daughter's
underwear drawer well-stocked with frilly personal items. Ranma had been
reusing the least-effeminate looking of them.
"Where would you like to go first, then?"
"Ahh...let's window shop a bit."
Amazingly, only the third store down had exactly what Ranma
wanted, Chinese-style outfits with baggy trousers!
She grabbed one off the rack.
"No, no dear, that's way too large for you. And it's a boy's
suit."
Ranma had to concede the first point. She wasn't going to
suddenly need the extra size. But no way was she giving up on her
favorite style!
Eventually they came to a compromise. In addition to the boyish
outfit, Ranma picked out a more feminine pantsuit reminiscent of the one
he'd worn as a waitress at the Nekohanten. (If she wanted to buy her own
clothes, she'd have to get a job, and she did have experience...) At a
second shop, they finally agreed on a reasonably sensible jumper outfit.
Ranma turned down the cat-festooned ribbon offered with it though.
Across the street, there was an okonomiyaki shop with "Kuonji"
marked on the noren curtain.
"How about we eat there, Mom?"
"I didn't know you liked okonomiyaki."
"I think I know someone there."
Sure enough, Ukyou was working the grill. This was more how
Ranma remembered her friend/fiancee. Dressed in her cook's outfit, hair
tied back with a ribbon, hands almost a blur on the griddle. For a
moment, he was back in Ucchan's.
But then the moment was gone.
"Hi folks! What can I do you for?"
"The Number Three special, and you, Ranma?"
"Um..." At Ucchan's, she would have known exactly what he
wanted. "A Number Three for me too, Ukyou."
"Sure thing, Ranma! Going shopping with your mother, hm? Nice
outfit. Boyish clothes look good on you. Wish I could pull them off."
"Thanks. Mom, this is Ukyou Kuonji, a friend of mine from
school."
"I'm pleased to meet you, Miss Kuonji."
"Likewise. Two Number Threes, hot off the stove!"
Ranma dug into her okonomiyaki with a will. Shopping sure built
up an appetite! Hmm...good, but not the "world's best" he'd come to
expect from Ukyou. Evidently, practicing against the sea all those years
really had done something for her skill. But wasn't Ukyou better off as
an ordinary girl? She looked so cute...
"Ranma! It's rude to stare like that! If you were a boy, she'd
think you were checking her out."
"Sorry, Mom." Great. That made it three for three on desire for
former fiancees. Okay wish, I get the point. Can I go home *now*?
Nothing changed.
Oh, except there were now two potted plants by the door instead
of one. And that meant...
"Tsubasa, are you in there?" she asked the left one.
"Over here!" said the one on the right. Tsubasa popped out,
wearing a relatively restrained mauve frock with matching pumps. He was
holding a bundle of brightly-colored wool.
I knit you a scarf, I hope you like it! I want my sweetie to
stay warm!" The transvestite held out his present.
"Tsubasa, first off, I am not your sweetie. Second, it's the
middle of spring, so I don't need a winter scarf, especially not that
long. Third, and her presence is the only reason you're still breathing,
you're embarrassing me in front of my Mom!"
Tsubasa turned his cute head to see a very stern looking Nodoka.
A sweat drop formed.
"Young man. You *are* a young man? Your behavior is
disgraceful. My daughter is already engaged, and even if she were free,
your unmanly dress and mannerisms render you repugnant."
Tsubasa shrunk back, his eyes tearing. "But my love is pure!
Not like the cruel Kunou who seeks to keep my goddess locked away from
the world, I wish only to shower her with tokens of my affection. Have
you never been enraptured?"
Nodoka hustled her daughter out the door, and once outside
shuddered visibly.
"That boy needs professional help."
Ranma nodded, but doubted it would do any good.
The sky opened up just as they were getting home. Neither Genma
nor Hikaru was home, but there was a message on the phone from the former
that he would be late, probably after the rain ended.
Mrs. Saotome went to visit a neighbor, and Ranma sat down to her
homework. One more pass at the report, and it should be at least "C"
material...
She was interrupted by the door slamming. Hikaru was apparently
in girl form, as he was cursing the rain. Suddenly, he shouted.
"What the hell? Leggo, that hurts! Stop that!"
Ranma looked out. Yep, Hikaru was in girl form, stripped down to
boxers and flailing his arms around while screaming "get this thing offa
me!"
What Nabiki wouldn't give for a picture of this, thought Ranma.
Now what's he--no, it couldn't be...
Ranma grabbed her brother's arm to slow it into visibility. Sure
enough, there was a little black pig gnawing on his triceps. A little
black pig with an all-too-familiar yellow and black bandana around its
neck.
"P-chan!?!"
"You know this thing?"
"Well, I, ah, know of it. I think it's Akane's pet."
"Bwee?"
"Hush, P-chan, and let go!"
The pig stopped chewing, and let Ranma remove it.
"I think it's time for your bath, P-chan. Right. Now."
"Bwee!" P-chan tried to squirm free, but Ranma had too firm a
grip. She slid open the bathroom door, ran some hot water, then plunged
the pig in.
There was a sudden blooshing noise as water was displaced by the
extra mass of a human. Ryouga to be precise.
Ranma feigned shock. "Ryouga! Where did you come from? And
you're naked!"
"But --Ranma--I--Oh no!" Ryouga tried to cover himself, get a
towel and curl up and die all at the same time.
Ranma burst into hysterical laughter. His old rival was so
gullible sometimes!
"S-sorry, Ryouga. Here's a towel. Hehehheee!"
"Thank you, beloved."
Ranma stopped laughing.

To Be Continued...

SKJAM!
"He has a right to live, though he's ill-shaped."

(Scene: Scott's apartment. Scott is trying to watch "Lois and
Clark" while Ranma and Akane play Doom on his computer.)

Ranma: Ahgh! Giant smiley face! Use the @Bap Stick!

Akane: Right! (Punches buttons furiously.)

Computer: @BAP @BAP @BAP!!! WHOORWhoorwhoor...

Ranma: Dang! Isn't there anything that can take out the giant smiley
face?

Akane: Let's stop now. Three solid hours of mindless violence is a bit
much.

Ranma: Besides, Scott should finish another chapter of "Worse." Better
the one where I'm stuck in a world where I was born female than the one
where I don't actually appear at all.

(Scott seats himself at the keyboard.)

Scott: Actually, people seem to like "Twilight Existence." But yes,
Worse is due again. Now, where were we?

Akane: Ranma had just found a little black pig chewing on her
newly-discovered little brother Hikaru.

Ranma: Who has the Drowned Girl curse. I recognized the pig as P-chan,
took him to the bath, pushed him in and he became Ryouga.

Akane: Good thing for him I'll forget the next time we're in a
regular-continuity story. Anyhow, in this world Ryouga is your fiance,
so things could get a little sticky.

Ranma: Did you have to say "sticky"?

WORSE
by Scott K. Jamison
(Takahashi/CLAMP disclaimer)
Chapter Six: In Which Ryouga Explains a Little

There was a long silence, broken only by the lapping of water
against the side of the tub.
Ryouga managed to get the towel secured around his waist and
relaxed a bit.
"Ryouga, what--um, how..." began Ranma, though she was sure she
already knew some of the answers.
"I suppose you want to know how come I changed into a pig."
Ranma nodded.
"In my wanderings,looking for a fabled monk who could lift my
curse of directionlessness, I went to China, and stumbled across a place
known as Jyuusenkyo, the Valley of Cursed Springs."
"I've...heard of it."
"Really? I hadn't. I found out from some old guy who stopped me
just before I started walking through there. He told me anyone who fell
into one of those pools turned into whatever had drowned there. I didn't
really believe him, but took the long way around, just in case.
"Unfortunately, you know me and directions. I soon found myself
on the edge of a cliff overlooking some of the pools. I was looking for
a safe way down when suddenly this giant panda came out of nowhere and
knocked me off balance. I might still have saved myself if the screaming
girl with a really long braid hadn't been chasing after him. She used my
head as a stepping stone, and I plunged to my doom, the Spring of Drowned
Black Pig."
"Poor Ryouga." She meant it too. Poor guy just couldn't catch a
break in any world, it seemed.
"So there I was, dazed and confused (When are you not? thought
Ranma) half-drowned and wondering why I couldn't stand up. Then this
amazingly huge panda walking on its hind legs came by and scooped me up.
As soon as it had me in the air, I realized it was the same panda from
before, but it hadn't grown, I'd shrunk!
"It took me into a hut, where the old guy who had warned me away
tried to cook me! I'm just lucky they like their boiled pork really
fresh in that province."
"That's awful!" said Ranma, pretending she hadn't heard most of
this story before. Fortunately, even the worst acting usually fooled
Ryouga.
"Somehow I got my clothes back, and then I was traveling again.
It was hell! I couldn't go a day without getting splashing with cold
water, which activates the curse, and as a pig I got even more lost
because I was too low to the ground to read signs. The first time I
recognized my surroundings was a few days ago at Furinkan."
"Oh yeah. You never did find the shower, did you?"
"Uh, no. Then tonight I lost my umbrella and the rain took my
humanity away. I was feeling pretty down until suddenly I saw the girl
with the long braid, the one that condemned me to this living nightmare.
I followed her here, and chose my moment to strike."
"Forgot you aren't exactly the most threatening pig on Earth,
huh?"
Ryouga laughed in embarrassment. "Guess I did. Wait a minute.
If this is your apartment, then what was she...you never told me you had
a sister!"
"I don't. That was my brother Hikaru."
Ryouga smirked. "Oh, come on. I saw her b--br--" His smile
faded into shock as he thought about bare female skin.
"He was at Jyuusenkyo too. Spring of Drowned Girl."
"Oh. Then the panda was..."
"My father."
"This must be very confusing for you."
"You don't know the half of it." affirmed Ranma.
"It certainly makes things more difficult. I have to get revenge
for what she, er, he did to me, but I can't hurt my fiancee's brother,
that wouldn't be right."
"About this fiancee thing, I--"
"Dear, are you almost done in there? Your father and brother
need to use the bathroom."
"Yeah, Mom, I'll be out in a minute!" Ranma tugged Ryouga out of
the tub while motioning for silence.
"Sorry about this." And she sprayed him with cold water.
The lost boy reverted to his pig form, and Ranma picked him up.
Panda-Genma loomed in the doorway. Evidently he hadn't quite
managed to miss the rain. Ranma edged around him and ran into Hikaru,
who glared at the pig.
"That thing better stay away from me if it doesn't wanna be pork
chops."
"Bwee! Bwee!" snarled P-chan.
"I wouldn't threaten him if I were you, Hikaru. What goes around
comes around. Learned that the hard way." Ranma knew how dangerous a
martial artist Ryouga was, and had no intention of letting her brother
fight him.
"So this is Akane's pet P-chan, hm?" asked Nodoka. "I don't
believe I've seen it before."
"He's new. Gets lost a lot."
"Well, just make sure it's back at the dojo tomorrow, dear. This
apartment building doesn't allow pets, and after what the Tenants'
Committee did to the nice young lady with the penguin..."
"And what about the giant panda, Mom?"
"I don't see any giant panda, do you?"
"Oh. Right." We can only hope any panda sightings are put down
to drunkenness or mass hysteria, thought Ranma.
She toted P-chan into her room and set him on the bed. "Now what
am I going to do with you? We never got to the really important
questions."
The pig looked at her quizzically. "Bwee?"
"I'm certainly not going to ask them while you can't talk back.
No peeking while I change." P-chan turned his back as Ranma prepared for
bed. She folded a blanket and set it in a corner.
"'Night, Ryouga."
Sleep did not come immediately. I, this body, was in love with
Ryouga. She could not quite get her mind around it. She tried to
imagine herself kissing Ryouga, touching his unclad body. Nothing but
repulsion. Ranma even tried recalling his feelings during the fishing
rod incident back in the real world. Still just the faint nausea he
normally felt when remembering it.
Fleeing, her memory called up the image of Akane in the tub. So
pretty but out of reach now. Loath as Ranma normally was to admit any
sort of feelings for her, Akane seemed far preferable as a lover than
Ryouga.
Ever since Kunou had first come on to the "pig-tailed girl" and
the rather disturbing dream afterwards, Ranma had feared that his female
form would affect his mind and make him want boys. But here she was in a
body that was permanently female, had *always* been female, and Ranma was
no more interested in boys than he'd ever been.
Short-term, this was good. She didn't have to worry about
unwanted "girl feelings" confusing her motivations. Any concessions she
made to this form would just be an act to make things easier, not a
horrible slipping away of masculinity.
The long-term was going to be a problem, though. She certainly
didn't want to marry Kunou or Ryouga, let alone Mousse or Tsubasa. The
thought disgusted her, and it wouldn't be fair to them either.
And the other major option wasn't really all that appealing
either. Ranma thought of girls loving that way as weird (probably
something Genma had taught him early, his father had all sorts of
opinions that didn't match normal people's,) and while she could probably
overcome that conditioning, her choice of partners would be relatively
limited. She didn't think Akane, for all her protestations of hating
boys, would really be interested. No question, she had to get back to
the real world or his real body, and soon. Akane...I want Akane...
Getting a little too heated there. Even after all this time,
Ranma was still uncomfortable with the female sexual response. She
forced herself to concentrate on a complex kata, and then to sleep.
The next morning, Akane was of course surprised to see the pig in
Ranma's arms.
"Look Akane, I found P-chan!"
"P...chan?"
"Your little pet pig! The one that gets lost all the time."
Ranma shot a "trust me" glance to her friend, who responded with a
"you're up to something, aren't you?" gaze.
As Hikaru broke off to head to Wushu, Ranma whispered, "Play
along at school. I'll explain at the dojo. Promise."
Similar to how it had been in the real world, the girls at school
"oohed" and "awwed" over the cute piglet. Ranma fought down a flash of
jealousy towards Ryouga. Still no sign of Kunou.
Much as she might regret it, Ranma had to know. So at lunch she
called the Kunou estate.
"Kunou residence. Who is calling, please?"
"Sasuke? That you?" Ranma hadn't been on very good terms with
the diminuitive ninja in the real world, but at least he wasn't quite as
loopy as his employers.
"Mistress Saotome! This is a surprise."
"To me too. Look, Upperclassman Kunou hasn't been in school the
last three days. Do you know what's going on?"
"From what we've been able to gather, you made a rather
impressive showing against the young master on Friday."
"Um yeah, I didn't break anything important, did I?"
"No, but apparently Master Kunou was so stunned that he failed to
eat carefully at dinner."
"Kodachi got him good, huh?"
"I'm afraid so. But he should be back at school Friday. The
young master will be so pleased you called!"
"No! I mean, it's not necessary to tell him it was me, just say
some of his friends were concerned or something."
"I think I understand. `Friends' it is. Good day."
On the way to the dojo, Ranma told Akane about Kunou, and they
picked up a "Get Well" card, signing it "your friends at school."
"No need to let him think we're getting soft." joked Akane.
Once at the Tendou home, Akane exploded.
"Now will you *please* tell me what is going on with that stupid
pig! I hate it when you make decisions about me without consulting me!"
Ouch. I really should know better, reflected Ranma. She's been
the "prize" in way too many of my duels, and she never appreciates it.
"I'm sorry, Akane. I had to come up with something to keep
people, like my mother, from getting suspicious. Your dad got some old
clothes he won't miss?"
"Yes, but why--"
"It'll be better if I show you."
They laid the clothes in the change room, then Ranma tossed
P-chan into the tub and closed the door.
"We should wait outside."
There was some splashing and then a confused murmur.
"Are you decent yet?" called Ranma.
"I can't find--" Akane looked startled by the male voice.
"Oh, come on! There's only the one door!" Ranma rolled her
eyes.
"Oh. Right."
"Who's...How?" asked Akane.
"Wait for it." advised Ranma.
The door opened, and Ryouga stepped out in Mr. Tendou's old gi.
It didn't fit very well.
"um..."
"Akane, I believe you already know Ryouga Hibiki?"
"Yes, but--"
"Spring of Drowned Pig."
"Oh my goodness."
"Sorry about this." mumbled Ryouga.
"I recognized him by the bandana, and came up with the P-chan
story to cover for him."
"Thanks, I guess. Ranma, there's so much we need to catch up
on."
"No kidding. Just stay right there while we change and we'll
talk during sparring practice."
Akane put on her white gi and Ranma donned the red and black
Chinese outfit she'd gotten the day before. It made her feel almost
normal. Akane (it still took some getting used to to see her in long
hair) asked "You don't remember loving Ryouga, do you?"
Ranma froze. Oh, yeah, I told her about the "mixed-up memories."
"No. Is it really that obvious?"
"Pretty much. I remember how your face would brighten every time
you thought of him, and when he actually showed up, you were happy for
days. Now you're holding him at arm's length, barely looking at him."
"Most of the memories I have of Ryouga are of his curse (that's
how I really knew him, the bandana was just the clincher) and his
fighting skills. He loved...someone else."
"That's so sad. You two are the most romantic couple I know,
like the Star Festival lovers who can meet but once a year."
Ranma winced. "Let's hope this passes, and I can get back to
normal." There. Good ambiguous phrase. Maybe thinking things out
wasn't so tough after all. She'd have to be very careful with Ryouga
though; he'd always had a heart of glass.
Amazingly, he was still in the same spot they'd left him in. He
described some of the cities he'd seen on his journeys as they led him
over to the training hall.
Hikaru was already there, doing warm-up exercises. "Hi Sis, hey
matching outfits! Yo Akane. Who's the doofus?"
"Miserable little..." mumbled Ryouga.
Ranma put a hand on his arm. "Calm, now."
"Ryouga, this is my little brother Hikaru Saotome. Hikaru, this
is Ryouga Hibiki."
"I am Ranma's betrothed." He bowed, and Ranma slapped her
forehead.
"Be--that means like engaged? But I thought your fiance was
named Kunou." Thank you oh so much, little brother, thought Ranma.
"Shall I never hear the end of this accursed Kunou? If only I
could manage to meet him, I would end his claims on Ranma forever!"
"That's nice of you to say, but there's something I want to take
care of first. Hikaru, you probably don't remember this, but you've met
Ryouga before."
"I woulda thought I'd remember someone that dresses that badly."
"Those are my father's clothes, he's just borrowing them, okay?"
snapped Akane.
"Anyhow, when you were in China, you accidentally pushed Ryouga
off a cliff, and caused him grievous injury."
"Oh come on!"
"Because of you I have seen hell!"
"Calm down, Ryouga. Hikaru, you were chasing Pops at the time,
and he was a little hairier than normal, does that refresh your memory?"
Hikaru frowned, then snapped his fingers. "That was *you*?"
"Indeed."
"Now, Hikaru, what do you say to someone you've accidentally
hurt?"
"Eh...he doesn't look too hurt to me."
"Hikaruuu..."
"Do I hafta?"
"I want no bad blood between you two."
"Er--"
"You have had enough time to say farewell. I claim my bride
now!" That was a new voice. Everyone turned to look. there was a young
man in white robes standing in the doorway. Mousse!
"Bride?" asked Akane. This attracted Mousse's attention, and he
sent a chain from his sleeve to wrap around her.
"Hey!" Mousse reeled her in. He wasn't using his glasses at the
moment.
"The boat is waiting, Ranma. And now we must depart."
"Wait, Mousse! She's not--"
"I'm not--"
"Silence! This is your only warning." He leapt up and back
carrying Akane out of sight.

To Be Continued...

SKJAM!
"Are you lonely, just like me?"

(Scene: Scott's apartment. Akane is doing isometric exercises
while Scott types on the computer. The door opens, and Ranma enters
dragging Ryouga.)

Ranma: Hey everybody, look who I found wandering in the Sculpture
Garden!

Akane: Ryouga! I'm so glad to see you!

Ryouga: Um h-hi Akane. The snow around here sure is deep! A-heh.
(Doing his usual embarrassed bit.)

Scott: Hi, pull up a cushion.

Akane: You're just in time! Scott's finally gotten the fight
choreography and dialogue from Blade, so the latest chapter of Worse is
ready to go.

Ryouga: Worse?

Ranma: One of Scott's fanfics. The premise is that I made a stupid wish
that I wasn't engaged to any girls. Apparently as a result, I woke up in
a world where I was born female.

Ryouga: Really? So you're female all the time? (Thinks) At last Akane
can be mine!

Ranma: Yep. But don't get your hopes up, if you know what I mean. In
this world, I'm engaged to you!

Ryouga: Gak!

Akane: Along with a few other boys. But apparently you were the
favorite, until male Ranma's mind found itself in born-female Ranma's
body.

Ryouga: But at least I don't--um...

Akane: Oh the P-chan curse, I'm afraid that's still on. Ranma's little
brother Hikaru (who has the Drowned Girl Curse) accidentally bumped you
in.

Ryouga: This is all your fault, Ranma! If you hadn't had a little
bro--(doubletakes) You KNOW?

Akane: Sure! I read the previous chapters of the story after all. But
we all go back to status quo once we leave the "real world", so don't
worry.

Ranma: Anyhow, you, me, Hikaru and Akane were all at the Tendou Dojo and
I was trying to get my brother to apologize for the pig thing without
telling him exactly what he'd done. But we were interrupted by Mousse,
who's another of my unwanted fiances. He's still half-blind, so
naturally he grabbed Hostage Girl here instead.

Akane: Hey!

Ranma: So like always, I guess it's up to me to rescue her...

WORSE
by Scott K. Jamison
with fight choreography and dialogue by special guest Blade!
(Takahashi disclaimer)
Chapter Seven: In Which There Is a Big Fight Scene

Ranma blinked in surprise. How did she do it? Even a world
away, Akane still managed to get herself captured. Then the realization
of her danger cut through the sense of absurdity.
"AKANE!" she yelled as she ran out the door.
She heard a cry of "RANMA!" behind her from Ryouga. No time to
wait for him or Hikaru to catch up.
The good news was that Mousse wasn't even trying to conceal his
progress, jumping from roof to roof with Akane, none too gently carrying
her either. Then the Chinese boy dropped to street level, and stopped at
an intersection.
Ranma caught up, noting the spectacleless Mousse looked confused
and Akane looked dazed. She prepared to attack. "All right, you--"
Mousse turned around in roughly her direction. "Excuse me, is
this Ookami Street?" Ranma facefaulted.
As she got up, Ranma noted Ryouga and Hikaru arriving. Mousse
might be half-blind, but he wasn't stupid. He took a step back to get a
better defensive position.
Ranma shifted into an aggressive posture. "Let her go, Mousse."
"I think not. Ranma is to become *my* bride," sniffed the Hidden
Weapons expert.
"That's not Ranma..." snarled Ryouga, "and you're not taking
anybody as long as I'm here, *especially* Ranma!"
Mousse pulled a pair of glasses from one of his robe's secret
pockets and put them on. He looked at his prize, snorted and dropped
Akane to the side.
"Bah. You're not--" he looked at the group confronting him.
"RANMA! *Now* you will be mine!" Mousse's arm lashed out, sending a
swarm of chains at Ranma. Somehow she wasn't quite fast enough, and one
wrapped around her waist and pulled her off her feet. "Hey!"
Flying through the air, Ranma grabbed the chain. Control the
roll, land on feet, yank on the chain and suddenly Mousse's weapon
becomes a weakness. At least that was the plan until a yellow-and-black
bandana severed the chain, sending her tumbling on her rear end.
Ryouga strode forward, his hair now unbound.
"Listen you, I've had just about all I can take--"
Mousse frowned. "You dare interfere with me? Very well, learn
the consequences of your act!" He planted his feet together, and spread
his arms like a bird's wings. Ranma recognized the stance, and doubled
her efforts to get out of the chain.
Ryouga charged. "You think that scares--"
"Fist of the White Swan! HAKU-KEN!" Suddenly, Mousse's arms
flashed forward. Something unseen smashed Ryouga thrice. He staggered
back and fell next to Ranma, who had found her feet. Poor guy, taken out
by a training potty.
"That's it, duck, you're--" Something grabbed Ranma's arm. It
was Ryouga, getting back up already. She recognized his "I'll never give
up" look.
"Ranma, this guy is pretty strong. Don't worry, I'll handle
him." Ranma boggled.
"Huh? Hey, I can take care of him myself!"
"But...you might get hurt..."
"Hah! Against *Mousse*!?" Seeing Ryouga's surprise,
"Er...uh...I mean..."
She was vaguely aware that Hikaru was confronting Mousse himself.
"Ranma, it's a man's responsibility to protect the ones he
loves." This was a side of Ryouga Ranma had never seen before. Tender
and confident in his feelings. She was almost touched. Almost.
"I've been training while you were gone, Ryouga. I'm probably
better than you now."
"But still--"
They were interrupted by another set of chains wrapping
themselves around Ranma. Mousse yanked her towards him. Ryouga charged
in, jumping over the stunned form of Hikaru.
"Let her go!" demanded the fanged boy.
"You again? Didn't you learn your lesson already?"
"I'll *never* let you have her! You'll have to kill me first!"
Please...spare me the melodrama, thought Ranma as she struggled
against her bonds. It was no good. She was wrapped too tightly, and
Mousse had too good a grasp.
The Chinese boy smirked. "Kill? Hardly necessary." He raised
his arm, lifting Ranma into the air. "KEIRAN KEN!" From her perspective
Ranma couldn't see it, but she knew this trick involved a hen popping
from his sleeve and laying eggs in Mousse's free hand.
Yes, and now he threw them at Ryouga. The other boy evaded the
eggs, but their real purpose was to create a blinding cloud of smoke. By
the time it cleared, Ryouga had gotten turned around. That made him easy
prey for a chain around the ankles. Ranma flinched in sympathy as his
chin impacted pavement.
"That was almost too easy." Mousse hefted Ranma and turned east.
"Now, my girl, let us de--Urgh!"
Akane had apparently managed to free herself, and had just given
Mousse a solid kick to the jaw. Way to go Akane, thought Ranma as Mousse
dropped her. Chains were a bit looser now...
"All right, buster, let's see how you are against someone whose
back isn't turned!" Akane looked angry. Ranma knew that look too well.
"Why you--argh!" Mousse moved forward involuntarily, revealing a
grinning Hikaru.
"Gotcha, four-eyes." He took a jab at Mousse, who spun away and
launched a chain at Akane.
"Not again!" she screamed as the chain whipped around her, and
Mousse tossed her at Hikaru. The long-braided boy easily dodged the
human missile and kept charging. But Ryouga had recovered himself and
made a flying leap to catch Akane.
"Th-thanks, Ryouga..."
"Mhm." He set her down gently, then stood up and glared at
Hikaru, who was circling Mousse.
"Hey!" She could have been hurt!"
Hikaru didn't bother to look. "The tomboy can take care of
herself, right? If she's stupid enough to think she can fight, I'm not
responsible."
"You little punk..."
Ranma was nearly free. But she saw some problems arising...
Mousse launched a sweeping kick at Hikaru, which the younger boy
dodged. His own punches were blocked. Ryouga and Akane came up to flank
Hikaru, but he shoved them away.
"Butt out, I can take him by myself."
"Hey, we're only trying to help!" snapped Akane.
"Huh. Like I need your help for anything."
"Listen, you jerk..." began Ryouga.
While they argued, Mousse evidently decided the trio posed no
immediate threat and turned back to Ranma. His smile faded when he saw
Ranma was free again and coming straight at him.
Gotta end this before someone really gets hurt, thought Ranma.
"KACHUU TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN!" Ranma's speed-punching technique
easily cut through Mousse's defenses. A lot of her frustration went into
the dozens of blows she was landing. Mousse staggered back and his
glasses fell off.
Ranma was feeling pretty good until suddenly her legs gave way
beneath her and her lungs began to burn. "What...feel so tired..."
Mousse shook his head. "That's...Amazon technique..." He wiped
blood from his lip, then snarled. He whipped out a mallet and brought it
down on Ranma's head. That was the last she saw for a while.
When Ranma awoke, she noticed that her headache was fading
rapidly. She opened her eyes to see a familiar Amazonian face.
"Ranma awake! Feel all right?"
"I-I guess so, Shampoo. What are you doing to my head?"
"Make poultice, bring down swelling. Great-Grandmother teach."
Oh yeah. Cologne was a healer as well as a warrior and pain in
the rear. Evidently this Shampoo had learned more of that part of
Joketsuzoku tradition.
The purple-haired girl was abruptly replaced by Ryouga, who
locked Ranma in an uncomfortably tight embrace. "Are you all right,
sweetheart?" Ranma bristled at the last word, but forced herself to
remain calm.
"I'm okay, Ryouga. How about Akane and Hikaru?"
"I'm here!" announced Akane. "Your brother ran off to try to
find Mousse again."
"I would have had him," said Ryouga, jerking a thumb at Shampoo,
"but this girl got in the way."
"You no hurt Mousse! Shampoo need him one piece for wedding!"
Ranma blinked, then remembered the weird backwards relationship
the Mousse and Shampoo of this world had. She sat up and peeled Ryouga's
arms off her.
"Thanks for the first aid, Shampoo. Would you like to come back
to the dojo with us?"
"Can't. Must find Mousse. Chase to end of Earth, if have to."
Shampoo tucked her supplies away in her suit, then ran off. Ranma wished
her good hunting.
"Who was that girl anyways, and why does this Mousse think he can
take you away?"
As they walked back to the dojo, Ranma leaning on Akane a bit
since she was still tired, she explained about Shampoo and Mousse.
"That's a pretty wild story. Good thinking on getting out from
under that `outsider' law. See, Ranma, it's like Nabiki always says,
`you have a brain, you just have to use it.' Now, why were you yelling
something about chestnuts just before you fell over?"
"Well, that was--"
Hikaru dropped down from the rooftop. "No sign of him. For a
blind guy, Mousse gets around pretty well."
"He'll be back, probably. He doesn't give up easily."
"Good, I want another crack at him," growled Ryouga, massaging a
fist.
They entered the training hall, where Kasumi was waiting with
cupcakes.
"Did you have a nice practice?"
"I wouldn't call it `nice'," replied Akane, "but I think we all
got a workout."
As they ate, Akane asked about the chestnuts again.
"Oh, right. The Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken is a speed-punching
technique. You're supposed to be able to pull chestnuts out of a fire
without getting burned. Guess I pushed it too hard." Just like my first
battle with Mousse in the real world, she thought. I haven't fully
adjusted to my new body, and it cost me.
"Where'd you learn something like that?" asked Ryouga and Hikaru
simultaneously. Then they glared at each other.
"It's a long story. Which reminds me. Just before all this
started, an apology was going to be made."
Hikaru grimaced. "Okay, okay. Ryouga, I apologize for knocking
you off that cliff and like that junk."
"That's an apology?" asked Ryouga. "I oughta--"
"Ryouga! If you take vengeance on my brother, you will no longer
be my fiance." There, let *him* stew in a dilemma for a bit. "And
Hikaru, that was a terrible excuse for an apology. When we get home, ask
Mom to show you how to apologize properly."
Her brother looked sullen, but mumbled "Sure. Anything you say."
Kasumi interrupted. "Ranma, Hikaru, your mother just called.
She wants you to come home right away."
"Um, right. Uh, Kasumi, would it be all right if Ryouga stayed
here tonight? He probably won't be able to get home."
"Of course, dear. It's so nice to have a guest."
"We'll talk later, okay Ryouga?"
"Okay, Ranma. I love you." He moved to kiss her, but Ranma
moved away.
"Not now, Ryouga. There are things I, um, have to deal with."
She tried to ignore the hurt look in his eyes.

TO BE CONTINUED!

For those of you who wonder, "What really happened in the fight?"
check out the "Special Feature" posted soon.

SKJAM!
"Not to worry! I get kidnapped all the time! In fact, I'm not supposed
to know, but Ryo planted a tracer in my bra!"
"Um, Kaori dear, you're not wearing a bra."
(looks down shirt) "Ack!"
--From a City Hunter episode

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