[Ranma][fanfic] Life and Manhood
Andrew Huang
alh...@hcs.harvard.edu
http://www.hcs.harvard.edu/~alhuang
January 2, 1997
Just keep in mind that I don't do darkfics or sadfics.
All Ranma 1/2 characters belong to Takahashi Rumiko-san and whoever
does translations. In short, they're not mine. Have fun.
And now, Oddzilla Productions presents....
"Life and Manhood" by Andrew Huang
<...>: thoughts
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"Were you not willing to give your life for the art?"
"My life, yes. My manhood is another story!"
Ranma-chan looked blearily around her, cradling the half-empty bottle of
sake in her arms. That bit of dialogue between her father and herself from
such a long time ago ran through her head incessantly.
The day had been another rough, rough one for him, more than usual. All
the usual stuff had occurred, and then, _after_ dinner, usually a time for
Ranma to rest, Ryouga, Kunou, Mousse...all of them had been out to get
him, again. That had ended with him getting dumped into the river...and
then Kunou really went ballistic. When she finally escaped, and had
reached the Dojo, she was pounced upon by Shampoo. Akane, of course,
hadn't taken this very well, and had proceeded to thrash her after punting
Shampoo back towards the Nekohanten. She finally booted her into the
cellar of the Tendou's home, where Ranma had been sitting for the past
hour. She happened upon the cases of sake, and feeling particularly
miserable, proceeded to get herself roaringly drunk.
"My life, yes. My manhood is another story!"
She looked down at her ample bosom. <What kind of man am I? Not much of
one.> She angrily took another swig of sake. It was the first time Ranma
had ever drunk a lot of alcohol. "Dammit...I'm not even a man at all!" Her
thoughts wandered to the promise that Oyaji had made to Okaasan. Seppuku.
Living in fear of--
Living? Life. Manhood.... Ranma growled. "Well, Oyaji, you did make that
damnable promise. Might as goddamn well go through with it. Not that
there's anything keeping me here, anyway...." Her heart sank at the
throught. Akane....
Yes, he cared about her. Fought for her, destroyed his cure for her,
everything for her, even perhaps...loved her. For once, Ranma decided not
to try to squelch that line of thought. But what about her? She didn't
love him. She couldn't. Not with the way she treated him. No, Akane wasn't
keeping him here anymore. He had hoped...but....
She staggered to her feet, her mind fuzzed by drink. She clambered up
the stairs to the kitchen. No one was there; no one was near, at all. She
looked at the sink. "W-well, if I can't live as a man, I m- might as well
die as one." She turned on the hot water tap, filled a cup, and doused
herself. He took a last gulp of sake and set the bottle aside, making his
way unsteadily out to the porch and towards the Dojo.
He entered, looking around. There, on the wall, were the Tendou's family
swords and knives. He walked over, picking up a tanto, and sank down to
his knees. <Wait. I don't have a second to cut off my head.> His thoughts
were remarkably calm for a drunken man about to attempt suicide. <Oh well.
I guess I'll have to forgo that. I'll die honorably, if I can't live that
way.>
He raised himself up, still kneeling, and gripped the knife with both
his hands, placing the tip right on his belly. His calm was rapidly
slipping away. Tears formed in his eyes. <No. I can't stop now....> A
fuzzy image formed in his mind, but he couldn't place what it might be. He
took several deep breaths, holding the last, and started to press
inwards....
He broke the skin, sliced in a few millimeters, and with the pain, his
mind suddenly cleared. The image sharpened...into...into....
"Akane...." It was her face, an unreadable expression on it. "No...
I...I can't do it...." He let out a shuddering breath, and more tears came
streaming down his face. A small trickle of blood oozed from the minor
cut. He slumped forward, right hand still gripping the knife, but now on
the floor, supporting his suddenly heavy weight. "I can't even die like a
man...." he whispered.
"Ranma? What are you doing?" Akane's voice came from behind him.
Ranma's head jerked up, and he whirled around, nearly falling over. Akane
stood in the doorway of the Dojo, a worried look on her face. "Why didn't
you come out of the basement earlier? I...." She saw the knife in his
hand, and the slowly growing bloodstain. "What...what are you doing!?"
Ranma suddenly jumped to his feet, wobbling a bit. A drunken panic
erupted in his head, and he stepped back, away from her. "Don't come near
me! Don't!" He raised his hands, now holding the blade to his left wrist.
"Don't! I swear, I'll do it!"
Akane was horrified. "RANMA!!" She froze on the spot, not knowing what
to do.
"No, Akane.... Don't try to stop me! I...I don't have anything!
Dammit...there's nothing for me here! I'm not even the man I'm supposed to
be.... I have nothing...nothing. I can't even see my mom as-my-mom--!
And-and--everyone wants to kill me! Nabiki sees me as a walking yen
generator. Well, I've had enough...." He was starting to rant.
Akane stared at him. <What is he doing? He never...he can't!> "No!
Ranma, you can't do this!!"
"Why do you care? You've never wanted me here! You hit me for doing the
slightest wrong thing.... I thought you'd want me gone!" He started to
press the knife against his wrist.
That did it. Those words struck to Akane's soul. "NO!" She squeezed her
eyes shut and clenched her fists. "No...Ranma! Listen to me! I-I love you!
Do you hear me? I love you. I won't let you do it!! I WON'T!!" There. She
had said it. It had taken extraordinary circumstances...but she had said
it.
Ranma stared at her. <What...did...she...say....> The knife clattered to
the ground. "You...you love...." He sank down to his knees.
Akane, hearing the knife drop, opened her eyes, now filling with tears.
"Y-yes, Ranma.... I do...." She cautiously approached him and knelt down
in front of him. "Don't you _ever_ say that you don't have anything here.
You...you have me...."
Ranma stared back. "Akane...I...I-I...I love...I love you, too...." He
looked at the knife on the floor next to him. "What am I doing.... What
did I almost do?!" He buried his face in his hands.
Akane immediately embraced him. "You did the right thing, Ranma....
That's what's important." She hugged him fiercely, tears running down her
own cheeks. Ranma only nodded in reply. They sat there, for several
minutes, simply holding each other.
<I love you, Akane.>
Finally, the alcohol, exhaustion, and mental/emotional turmoil caught up
to Ranma. He sank into unconsciousness, almost knocking Akane over with
his weight. She gently lowered him down to the ground, and looked up to
see her sisters, father, and Saotome-ojisan coming to the Dojo.
"What's going on? Ranma! Get up...." Genma's words trailed off as he saw
Akane's face. "What's wrong?!"
Kasumi saw the knife and the bloodstain. "Oh, my...." Nabiki was
speechless. Soun...was crying.
Akane shook her head. "Don't...don't worry. He's only asleep. He's all
right, now."
Genma quickly picked up his son's slumbering form. "He's...he's been
drinking...." He had never known Ranma to drink. He carried Ranma to their
room and gently laid him down on the bedroll. The Tendous followed, and
Akane knelt down by the bed, holding Ranma's hand.
Nabiki finally managed to speak. "Akane...are you all right?" Akane drew
a shuddering breath and nodded.
"I am, now." She looked up, and smiled slightly. "I feel a lot better
than...than I have in a long time." She looked back down at her fiancee
and brushed a lock of hair from his face. "A very long time."
<I love you, Ranma.>
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What possessed me to write this little bit of an angst-fest? Hell if I
know. I guess that one piece of dialogue from the first episode just kinda
rang in my head one night, that bit about Ranma willing to die but not
give up his manhood. And sometimes, I get the sinking feeling that it
_would_ take something this drastic to provoke Ranma and Akane to finally
admit their love for each other. (I get very, very frustrated sometimes
when I see those two denying their feelings so freaking much.) Now, I
normally wouldn't think Ranma would start thinking the way she did at the
beginning, let alone attempt suicide, but...if he had a hard enough day
and got really drunk.... Any comments? _=*Constructive*=_ (can't emphasize
that enough) criticism? Go for it.
--
>From the desktop of the Taiwanese-American-German-Scot,
Wakko "Andrew" Huang
Brought to you by his computer, Oddzilla
Oddzilla says, "Ryouga and Ukyou! Ukyou and Ryouga!"
http://www.hcs.harvard.edu/~alhuang