[Ranma][FanFic] Top Ten Rejected Lines.... (Collection)

[fcasper]

"TOP TEN REJECTED LINES...."

(A Collection of Top Ten Lists for Ranma 1/2)

From the Desk of Megane 6.7

This is a work of Fiction. All Characters and Landmarks are the
property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan Video, Kitty Films, Viz Video,
Shonen Sunday, and anyone else who legally owns the rights.

TOP TEN REJECTED LINES FOR RANMA-CHAN SAOTOME

Drum Roll Please....

10. ARRRGH! CRAMP! CRAMP!

9. Nice Kitty, Pretty Kitty....

8. Kodachi, I love you....Make me your own!

7. Can I give you a backrub Pop?

6. The hell with my honor! Nabiki, Prepare to die!

5. I feel pretty, oh so pretty....

4. Like this? Is this how you like it Happosai?

3. Akane's been kidnapped? Aw, let the bitch go!

2. And give up my curse?! Never!

And the number one thing Ranma would never say....

1. Oh my!

Ta Da!!!!

TOP TEN REJECTED LINES FOR AKANE TENDO

10. Oh yes Kunou darling! Spout your irreverent poetry to me!

9. I wonder how I would look with an eyebrow ring?

8. I can't practice martial arts now! I'm drying my nails!

7. You know, when I really think about it, Gosunkugi is pretty sexy....

6. Ouch! Not so rough! I'm fragile.

5. P-Chan and Ryouga are one and the same?!?! Cool!

4. Me cook? Are you out of your mind?!?

3. Why jog every morning when I can be carried?

2. Take my panties Happosai! It's not like I wear them anyway!

And the number one rejected line for Akane Tendo is....

1. I love you.....Dr. Tofu.

Ta Da!!!!

TOP TEN REJECTED LINES FOR TATEWAKI KUNOU

Drum Roll Please....

Akane: Hey! How come I didn't get a drum roll for my lines!?

I forgot, okay? Now where were we....

Akane: BAKA!

*WHAM!*

10. Thank you for all your help Sasuke. I really appreciate it!

9. I am the Blue Thunder of Furink.....Ah, screw it.

8. My Bokken....I love it SO MUCH!

7. I'm not that great, Ranma is much better than I'll ever be.

6. I'm sick of the pig-tailed girl! I want nude photos of YOU, Nabiki!

5. I have no need of my bokken anymore...."TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN!!!"

4. Akane said no? Okay then I'll leave quietly.

3. Nude Photos of the pig-tailed girl! Going cheap!

2. I have decided to pursue a life in the field of accounting.

and the number one rejected line for Kunou is....

1. Cologne. I love you. I would date with you!

Ta Da!!!!

TOP TEN REJECTED LINES FOR SHAMPOO

Uhh....my head......Can I have a Drum Roll Please....

10. The Rain in Spain falls mainly on the Plain.

9. *I* am Shampoo. Hear *Me* Roar!

8. Ranma! Shampoo not dressed! Get out!

7. Shampoo tired of chasing Ranma! Shampoo want to be Hooters girl!

6. Girl type Ranma! Shampoo Sue!

5. Shampoo man trapped in woman's body!

4. Aiya! Gosunkugi too skilled for Shampoo!

3. Shampoo no kiss on first date, Ranma.

2. Ai ren, You no want Shampoo? Okay, Shampoo marry Genma instead.

And the number one rejected line for Shampoo is....

1. Shampoo a little bit country, Shampoo a little bit rock and roll.

Ta Da!!!

TOP TEN REJECTED LINES FOR UKYOU KOUNJI

Drum Roll Please....

10. If I have to cook one more Okonomiyaki, I'm going to scream!

9. Tsubasa! You look so cute in that dress!

8. You're a really good friend Shampoo!

7. I wish I could be as feminine as Akane....

6. Maybe I shouldn't bound my breasts anymore....I'll just go topless!

5. Cup Ramen has got to be the best food in the world!

4. Ah, who cares about my restaurant? I'm going to the casinos!

3. Of course I forgive you Genma! What's ten years between friends?

2. Ranchan, I have a confession....Tsubasa and I are more alike that you
think....

And the number one rejected line for Ukyou Kuonji is....

1. Ranchan looks even cuter as a girl.

Ta Da!!!

TOP TEN REJECTED LINES FOR MOUSSE....

Drum Roll Please....

(The Drum finally breaks from repeated use. Megane sighs and brings out
a electronic keyboard. After programming it, he pushes a button and it
plays an electronic drum roll sample as he continues.)

10. Goodbye glasses, Hello contacts!

9. Weapons aren't the only thing I keep under this robe....

8. Steamed duck! My favorite!

7. Here I am Ranma-Chan! The father of your children!

6. Ranma, could you please tell Shampoo not to beat me up anymore?

5. I can slice! I can dice! I can even make french fries!

4. Shampoo....I have a confession....I'm just using you to get to your
great-grandmother....

3. I'm going for the world record for most hidden weapons on a body!

2. Mousse defeat you Ranma! Mousse love Shampoo!

and the number one rejected line for Mousse is....

1. I don't need to see you Shampoo, my hands tell me all I need to know.

Ta Da!!!

TOP TEN REJECTED LINES FOR RYOUGA HIBIKI

Simulated Drum Roll Please....

10. Second house to the right, you can't miss it ma'am.

9. How many headbands am I wearing anyway!? I can't get rid of them!!!

8. Can someone please open this jar of pickles for me?

7. Pass the pork chops please.

6. Say Akane, you're looking a little chubby! Have you gained weight?

5. Ranma! Prepare to die....your hair.

4. I hate sleeping with Akane! She snores like a rusty chainsaw!

3. For god's sake, Akane, learn to cook!

2. Ranma-Chan, can I stare at your naked body until my nose stops
bleeding?

And the number one rejected line for Ryouga Hibiki is....

1. It's not an umbrella! It's a parasol!

Ta Da!!!

TOP TEN REJECTED LINES FOR NABIKI TENDO

What did the cannibal say after eating the clown?

That tasted funny....

Rimshot Please....

10. I let my fists do the bargaining for me.

9. Money is the root of all evil!

8. I keep the best photos of Ranma-Chan for myself....

7. I don't want your yen Kuno-baby, I only want your love!

6. Ryouga is P-Chan? Ah, I'll let that slide.

5. Let me cook dinner tonight, Kasumi....

4. I'm rich in spirit and that's all I'll ever need.

3. Are my shorts too tight? Maybe I should wear something more modest.

2. Daddy, could you engage me to someone too?

And the number one rejected line for Nabiki Tendo is....

1. Think nothing of it.

Ta Da!!!

TOP TEN REJECTED LINES FOR HAPPOSAI

Drum Sticks please.....

(Someone passes a bucket of KFC to Megane.)

The OTHER kind!

(The same someone passes some wooden drumsticks. Megane proceeds
to play "Wipeout" during the next list....)

10. Jock Straps.....Must have.....Jock Straps.....

9. Ranma, m'boy, Have I ever told you about my tour of duty in Vietnam?

8. Uggh! Girls! All those curves...soft...supple...round....Blech!!!

7. I never wanted to be a hentai.....I always wanted....to be a
librarian!

6. Is ten dollars too much for a tip? I'm sorry, I don't have any
change.....

5. Genma....Soun....Have some sake. My way of saying I'm sorry....

4. Sweet-O! A copy of Reader's Digest!

3. Can someone lend me a magnet? My arthritis is acting up again....

2. Nabiki! You should be ashamed of yourself! Cover those shorts up!

And the number one rejected line for Happosai is....

1. Put on your shirt, Ranma-Chan. You'll catch your death of cold....

Ta Da!!!!

TOP TEN REJECTED LINES FOR KASUMI TENDO

Orchestrated Score Please....

(A 40 piece Orchestra appears behind Megane and belts out a particularly
intense rendition of "In the Hall of the Mountain King")

Thank you.

10. I wonder how I would look in red leather?

9. Akane, either marry Ranma or step aside!

8. My! Dr. Tofu really is a blind stumbling idiot isn't he?

7. Father, Genma and I wish to be married once the divorce is cleared.

6. I'll pay double what Kuno would for those pictures of Ranma-Chan....

5. Geez Nabiki, why'd have to be such a bitch?

4. Mmmmmmm.....No wonder Ranma likes to wear boxers....

3. (sung while cleaning) WHEN I SHOW MY PIECE! COMPLAINTS CEASE!

2. Get your own dinner! I'm going to veg today.

And the number one rejected line for Kasumi Tendo is....

1. Oh Shit!

Ta Da!!!!

THE END.

There you have it. I'd like to thank Jorge A. Pratt and others for
prereading some of these lists and offering suggestions. Addition C&C
is more than welcome. ;) (fca...@yesic.com)