[Ranma][FanFic] Scenes from Nerima 2
Gregg Sharp
-- Ranma 1/2 Blooper Reel: aka Scenes from Nerima 2
a little while ago Dkun posted "Scenes Of Nerima"
as near as i can tell, by amazing coincidence at
nearly the same time, i sent up to the FFML a request to set
up a "Ranma 1/2 Blooper reel" with people e-mailing me their
scenes. Another amazing coincidence the likes of which Ike
Asimov wrote of.
when Dkun's "Scenes Of Nerima" hit the RAAC, i
e-mailed and it turned out this was a completely independent
thing. Hence the title up there, as this was being put
together AFTER Dkun posted.
enjoy, don't take it seriously, and send sequels to
DKun for putting together a Scenes 3...
by Gregg Sharp, metro...@mindspring.com
Kasumi: "Well, you're in luck, Akane. After all, he's half
girl."
Akane: "What? Me? Marry that pervert? No way!"
Kasumi: "Oh dear, that means I've got to marry him. Oh well,
more screen time and more money as the romantic lead. I'll
take him."
Akane: "huh?!"
Nabiki: "Waitaminute! *I* want to be the one to shake my
booty around during the opening credits!"
Akane: "Guys, come on, this is the third take already!"
-------------------------
Ranma: "Upperclassman Kuno, didn't have much, did he?"
Akane: "What do you mean? You took a hit, didn't you?"
Ranma: "Doesn't even itch."
Akane: "Oh?" (starts tickling)
Ranma: "Bwhahahahaha, cut it out..." CLUNK!
Nabiki: "And Ranma falls to the dreaded Tendo Special
Manuever: Tickle Fist. Will he rise again, tune in next week
when the director stops pulling all his hair out!"
from Kahlil and Kiwi Noriega (LIME WARNING)
This is a blooper scene from the Romeo and Juliet story,
Ranma is up on stage after being thrown by Soun so that he
could kiss Akane. He is sweating profusely as he deliberates
on how he should go about doing it. Damn! he thought. I
should have paid more attention to that script...
The cast of extras playing as students began to fidget in
their seats. What's taking him so long, they all thought.
Finally...
"Don't be a moron!" Ranma shouted at the cardboard
caricature of Soun's demonic head. "If I didn't care...I
wouldn't be so damn HARD!"
"Psst, hey Ranma." Nabiki, called from off-stage. "That
would be 'This wouldn't be so damn hard.' "
"Oh, sorry...."
"Pervert..." Akane said, lying in her makeshift coffin.
----------------------------------------------
Blooper two, same story. This time the scotch tape scene
wherein Ranma has
to kiss Akane...
"Can't...can't you just, pretend?" Akane said, face sad at
the same time hopeful as her hand gently reached out to
caress Ranma's cheek.
God, she's so hot, oh that would be cute the script said,
but damn it, I can't take it...*Kiss*
"Mmmphhhh...ahh Ranma...whammmphhh...this isn't
in....mmphh...the....mmmphhahh...the, the script- "
"Who cares about the script!"
--------------------------------------------------
Blooper three, a change of pace here. The scene is at the
Tendo dojo, Akane and Ranma are playing their usual
argument/mallet type scene. In one of their chases though,
they manage to bump into Kasumi who was just standing by in
the background.
As the three slowly rise up, Kasumi is the first to speak...
"@#$@%^#%^#&!"
Everyone pauses as they all stare at Kasumi who is busily
dusting herself, grumbling all the while of stupid and
unprofessional actors. Ranma by this time has built up the
courage to speak. "Uh Kasumi..."
"YES! RANMA!" Kasumi answered with an angry glare.
"Uh, we're still taping..."
Kasumi practically blushed red as she breathes, "Oh my..."
---------------------------
Blooper four, a suggestion from my younger sister Kiwi, the
scene takes place at the fields behind Furinkan high, a
crowd has gathered all centered on Kuno and Ranko. Kuno is
about to profess his undying love to Ranko...
"Oh pigtailed girl, the clouds bleed like my heart..." Kuno
began his monologue, oblivious of Ranko who fairly tried to
hide her snicker. "...the mountains fairly cry from peak to
peak my undying love for you..." snicker "...Oh why? Why
can't you..." while Kuno said this, he grabs Ranko by the
shoulders and stops. Ranko, no longer hiding her snickers,
comes out to full laughter as she bends over, gripping her
stomach...
Kuno sighs as he turns his head to look at the sky and turns
pleading eyes at the director. "I can't work like this,
can't you see I'm trying to make art here...[Insane laughter
from behind] *sigh* if you need me, I'll be in my
trailer..."
---------------------
Blooper five, another blooper idea from my sister, a typical
Shampoo scene, she is hugging Ranma and trying to 'ask' him
for a date.
"Oh Ranma! It beautiful day, too too nice to spend all
alone. Why not come to date with Shampoo!"
This feels nice, Ranma thought as he felt the all too
familiar hug of the cute Chinese girl.
Hmmm? Shampoo thought as she felt the all too familiar
grope, she wastes no time in lauching the perverted actor
from her person and turns an angry glare at the director.
"I'm sick and tired of doing these scenes and having that
pervert Ranma grope me all the time." Shampoo screamed as
she argued with the director before the camera is turned
off.
The Anything goes Ranma 1/2 fanfic page:
http://www.geocites.com/tokyo/temple/9371
------------------------------------------------
from Kenj...@aol.com
"Kawaiikuno!"
"Oh, do you really think so?" replied the kendoist from
the sidelines. Hilarity ensued.
--------------------------------
Or...
"Is very tragic story of... wombat? Mister Director,
Mister Customer hit wrong spring again."
"Pops, I'm getting really really TIRED of diving into
the Nyannichuan..."
"Squerk."
===============================
from VideoGameAddictedPerson:.
Akane: Come on Nabiki, stop harassing her. She's a guest!
Nabiki: Hmph.
Akane: Hey, do you want to come to dojo? I'm Akane, do you
want to be friends?
Ranma: Sure, but when do we get to the lemon scene?
Akane: On the other hand, why don't I just pound you into a
greasy spot?
Ranma: Because that's not supposed to happen yet.
Kasumi: Well, you already messed up the lines, anyway.
*BANG*
Nabiki: Great. Now I gotta contact NERV again.
====================
from Jim Bader:
Scene: Camera catches the crew off-guard sitting in their
chairs waiting for the direction to call them to action.
Ranma is wearing a pair of glasses and is reading "War and
Peace," Ryoga is reciting poetry from Emily Dickensen to
improve his English for the dubbing, Akane is reading the
Tokyo Stock Exchanges, while Nabiki is enjoying the latest
Sailor Moon Manga and is laughing at the good parts. Camera
zooms in to see what chapter Ranma is up to, which elicits a
growl from the actor.
Ranma: (Not looking up) Shampoo, get that thing out of
my face!
Shampoo: Darn, you're no fun!
Akane: (Droll imitation of Nabiki) Tell me about it!
-------------------
Scene: Ranma in Doctor Tofu's office with Akane looking
worried and guilty.
Tofu: Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but Ranma
is pregnant.
(Male Ranma cracks up, rest of cast and stage-crew do
likewise, Akane waves hands at the camera and pantomimes a
Priestess making benediction)
Akane: And this Miracle of the Virgin Ranma is brought to
you by our sponsors...
Director: CUT!
(Ranma stuffs a pillow into his shirt and pretends to be
heavy with child, furthering the ruckus. Doctor Tofu falls
over and Kasumi leans in from off-stage)
Kasumi: Do I get to say my lines yet?
=====================
from Bill Guiroff (sorry don't have his e-mail):
Mousse keeps bumping into things and tripping. Whacks
facefirst into a post. Takes off glasses: "I can't see a
thing with these damn things on!"
--------------------
Battle between Ranma and Ryoga. Ranma forgets to pull short,
Ryoga catches him with a right cross. Ryoga: "Ooops! Ah,
sorry about that, ol'buddy. Ranma?" Cast clusters around
recumbent form. "Ranma?" Sound effect of sirens, everybody
looks on as Ranma is carried out on a stretcher.
Soun and Genma go to makeup trailers. Soun removes long
hair, revealing him completely bald, while Genma shakes
loose long, luxurious locks from under his headcover, puts
away glasses and false buck teeth, pulls pillows from under
costume. Exits looking like Fabio while Soun wears glasses
and looks like a schoolteacher.
--------------------
Akane throws her lunch remnants into a nearby trash can.
Voice comes out, "Dammit--how many times have I gotta say
it--THIS IS NOT A REAL TRASH CAN!"
-------------------
Happosai goes through one of his energetic scenes. After
Director yells 'Cut!" he staggers to side and picks up cane,
gumbles, "I'm getting too old for this."
Shampoo: "Who writes this stupid dialog, anyway?"
--------------------
Akane pounds Ranma into the ground, looks around a moment
later: "All right, who forgot the breakaway hammer?"
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"Still searching, still hoping, still alone."
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