[Ranma][FanFic] Ranma's Fiancees - Part 7
jstai...@earthlink.net
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Ranma 1/2: Ranma's Fiancees
By Lady Tesser and Jack Staik
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"A-HA!!" Akane cried.
Tied up with noodles and stuck to the wall of Ucchan's main
dining area was a semi-concussed and delirious Ranma-chan.
Ukyo was so surprised that she dropped her copy of
'Deprogramming for Fun and Profit' that she'd been reading.
She should have been surprised; standing in the kitchen
doorway was not only Akane 'The Uncute Tomboy' Tendo, but
Ranma Saotome in a scarlet Chinese-style dress with his hair
loose around his shoulders.
"What the hell - ?" Ukyo asked intelligently.
Ranko-kun noticed the gas ring and the gently-steaming
kettle. "Oh, good." he said, the took it and poured some on
his head, collapsing back into Ranko.
"Wha - wha-" Ukyo observed. (She wasn't quite firing on all
cylinders, was she?)
"RANMA-SAMA!!" Akane cried, running up to the bound girl -
uh, guy. Ukyo responded by blocking the way with her
spatula. "What do you think your doing with my fiancee?!?"
she demanded.
"Protecting him from *you*, you thug!" Ukyo insisted.
"Always hitting him, yelling at him, poisoning him -"
"That's over with, Kuonji!" Ranko interrupted. "They're
*together* now! Really together! This mess is over!"
"Who the hell are *you* to say anything about how Ranma-
honey feels, weirdo?"
"The name's Ranko Saotome, and Ranma and I are brother and
sister!" She stepped up to her bound now-female sibling with
the kettle.
Ukyo slashed with the battle spatula, ripping the kettle
open, spilling warm water on the floor.
"You expect me to believe that *suddenly* Ranma has a sister
with almost the same curse that appears out of nowhere, at
almost the same time that he *suddenly* becomes infatuated
with Akane the Lesbian Stereotype?!?"
Akane's battle-aura provided a cheery glow to the room (not
to mention made steam rise off of her still-wet form).
"You'll be lucky if I stop with killing you, bitch!"
"You can't fool me!" Ukyo continued to rant at Ranko. "I
know that you're part of the evil plot to steal my Ranma-
honey! Well I won't let you! He's my fiancee! *My* fiancee!"
Akane advanced on Ukyo. "Ranma-sama is *my* fiancee - *my*
lover - the father of *my* children! And you will *not* do
this again!"
At the kitchen door, Shampoo and Cologne listened intently.
<So,> thought Cologne, <we didn't follow Muko-dono here, but
his sister - who has the *exact opposite* Jusenkyo curse??
And Ranma and Akane have finally admitted their all-too-
obvious feelings?? A minor complication. And if this 'Ranko'
child has comparable raw talent to her brother, she would
make a magnificent Amazon!>
"Now, child, while they're distracted!" Cologne hissed.
"NIHAO!!!" Shampoo cried, smiling as sunnily as she could
despite the heavy raincoat and semi-melted soap. She made a
flying leap over Akane's head and landed on top of Ranko,
crashing to the floor.
At the same moment, a SCUBA suited figure stumbled right
through the wall, waving around a combat umbrella and
shouting, "PREPARE TO DIE, SAOTOMES!!!"
"My cafe!" Ukyo cried.
"My head!" Ranko moaned.
"My fiance!" Akane took the moment of distraction and
started tearing the noodles off Ranma-chan.
"Oh, no, you don't!" Ukyo and Shampoo both yelled in unison,
posed to fight Akane for a final time.
* * * * * * * * * *
Happosai paused, seeing the flames of battle aura glowing
bright white.
"Just in time to take my kawaiikochan away, when the
children are busy," he chuckled to himself and pulled a
still-cold can of soda from his pack. He guzzled it in two
gulps and he was suddenly replaced by a tall handsome young
man.
"Much better." he sighed. "There are advantages to having
drunk that cask of cursed water at that so-called wedding."
He ran the rest of the way to Ucchan's, longing for the
unlimited ki from his chosen bride.
* * * * * * * * * *
Akane turned, only half done with her freeing of her fiance,
and she sighed, "Don't you losers understand he wants to
marry and make children with *me*?"
"THE PERVERT MUST DIE!" Ryoga shouted, swinging his umbrella
dangerously close to Ranma-chan.
Ranko pushed Shampoo off her back and jumped up to grab at
his umbrella. Ryoga turned to see Ranko with a death grip on
his weapon.
"Leggo, weirdo!"
"You look like a total geek in that suit. Magenta?"
Meanwhile, Ukyo and Shampoo were ganging up on Akane.
"I was his first, by right!"
"Daddy arranged our marriage before any of us were born!"
Shampoo thought fast. <She has a valid point. Damn. Oh,
well, Airen is stupid to want to marry that thing. But the
Old Ghoul wants me to marry Airen! Argh! ... Hey, Ryoga
looks pretty cute in that tight SCUBA suit - if he takes
those other things off ...>
"Airen beat Shampoo, now must marry," she replied instead.
"Groom raid!"
"Over my dead body," Akane growled, letting her battle aura
whip up hotter.
"So be it," Ukyo raised her spatula.
* * * * * * * * * *
Unnoticed by the battling teenagers, a small figure silently
slipped out from behind the counter. He pressed out to the
typhoon, battling the elements of rain and wind.
Despite the natural disaster engulfing Nerima, he quickly
made it to the Kuno mansion.
"Master Tatewaki, Master Tatewaki!"
Tatewaki Kuno glanced up from his meditation upon the
posters of his twin loves. "What is it, good Sasuke? Be
quieter, for my twisted sister hath returned. What news have
you brought me? Of my Akane Tendo and my Pig-Tailed Girl?"
Sasuke inhaled and whispered furtively, "There is an orgy
going on at Ucchan's! The Pig-Tailed Girl is tied up with
noodles! Another girl who looks like her is being molested
by this boy in a SCUBA suit!"
"Looks like her?" Kuno thought about this, which caused a
squeaking sound. "Could it be my Pig-Tailed Goddess has a
twin sister?"
Images of threesomes passed through Tatewaki Kuno's mind.
The idea of being alone with a pair of redheaded Goddesses
made all his blood rush to a single part of his anatomy.
(Good thing he wore baggy clothes.)
"And a threesome of Akane, the Chinese girl, and Ukyo is
underway!"
Even more hentai images entered his head. "Obviously the
work of the evil sorceror!" Kuno picked up his bokken,
asking, "Any sign of the vile Saotome?"
"None, master."
"The coward no doubt lies in wait, revelling in the
depravity he forces upon my Pig-Tailed Goddesses and Akane
Tendo. I must go and stop him from doing so. For I am the
Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, the soul of protection!"
"Not alone, brother dear!" Kodachi exclaimed, her hoop
announcing her approach. Dressed in her usual violet leotard
with the black rose decal, she was armed and prepared for
battle. "Ranma-sama is a gentleman! If he is there, then
he's obviously been forced by the Red-Haired Witch and the
vile Akane Tendo! I must save my Ranma-sama from those
insane trollops!"
Sasuke kept the straightest face he could, trying not to
comment on the 'insane' description. (In this house, the
ability not to comment on the sanity or insanity of
*anything* was a survival trait.)
The Kunos charged out in the typhoon, out to save their
respective loves from the others ... and Tatewaki suffered
through visions of two playful redheads in his bed.
Sasuke sighed as his foolish employers went off on another
hair-brained mission, and decided to relax with Master
Tatewaki's enormous pornography collection.
* * * * * * * * * *
Shampoo and Ukyo swung simultaneously, B.A.S. (Big-Ass
Spatula) and bonbori both arcing for Akane's head.
Akane blocked both with her forearms, the heat of her
battle-aura melting through the weapons instantly.
"YEEK!" Both girls said simultaneously as the severed tops
of their weapons clattered on the floor, leaving them with
smoking stumps.
For months, Akane had been disregarded as a martial artist
because Ranma was so much better. Next to him, most martial
artists looked puny.
But Akane *was* a warrior trained, from a lineage of
warriors. And she was fighting for her lover.
Not to mention she was royally *pissed*.
Ryoga heaved up on his umbrella, lifting Ranko off the
floor, then slung it in an arc, sending Ranko toward a wall.
Ranko turned in mid-air, hit the wall feet first, and sprung
back toward Ryoga. A quick mid-air flip, and she plowed her
foot right into Ryoga's face, then pushed off his head and
did a somersault.
"GOSHIN RYU SEI FU!" she cried as she tore off her skirt
and wrapped it around his head. She landed as he flung
around wildly and tore her skirt away from his face.
Ryoga saw the well-curved redhead, with only part of a
skirt, her lacy pink panties exposed to casual view. The
SCUBA mask kept the nosebleed contained, but couldn't
conceal his bugged-out eyes.
Their eyes met, and she paused a moment, recognizing Ryoga's
eyes being similar to her Niichan's.
<No way.> she concluded, and slammed her elbow into the side
of his head.
Akane plowed into her opponents with savage fury, first one
then the other, her aura searing their flesh and causing her
clothes to smolder.
Ukyo and Shampoo tried to fend off the enraged Akane, but
each blow burned their skin, being delivered too hard and
fast to deflect bare-handed.
<I'm gonna die,> Ukyo thought <I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die,
I'm gonna die,>. She gave ground before the assault, moving
bact toward the counter, where she kept her spare spatula.
As Ukyo moved back, she and Shampoo moved apart. When Akane
turned to hit Ukyo again, Shampoo pulled out her spare
bonbori and prepared to deliver a double blow to Akane's
head.
Ranko saw the blow about to be struck. In a blur of motion,
she grabbed a pair of chopsticks and flung them.
The sticks hit Shmapoo's hands, imbedding themselves. The
Amazon cried out and dropped her weapons. She pulled the
sticks from her bleeding hands - just in time to see Akane's
foot.
Shampoo sailed through the front window with a crash.
Wind howled into the cafe, the semi-darkness only
illuminated by battle auras and the gas stove. Rain whipped
in at times, dampening the floor, and the cursed Jusenkyo
alumni kept a fair distance, knowing that their weakness was
too close for comfort.
<Oh, crap! This rain gear is going to get me killed!>
Shampoo stripped out of the coat and waders as she dashed
back in, letting her skin breathe in the bathing suit she
wore underneath, the Jusenkyo soap layer foaming.
"Shampoo now kick ass!"
"We'll see about that, Amazon Girl," Ranko immediately went
to pounding her. Shampoo managed to give as good as she got
- almost.
Ukyo flipped up and away from the enraged Tendo girl,
putting the counter between them. A quick twitch sent two
minature spatula-shuriken toward Akane, who deflected them
casually (reducing them to molten metal in the process).
With a mighty kiai, Ukyo grabbed the spare battle-spatula
and, with a spin for momentum, delivered a beheadding blow.
Akane caught the spatula one handed, pulled it from Ukyo's
grasp, and slammed the handle across the chef's face,
sending her sprawling across the floor.
Akane flipped the spatula in her grip, walked around the
counter, and raised the spatula ...
"Akane!! NO!!" Ranko yelled - then screamed as Ryoga's fists
slammed into her kidneys. She hit the floor on her knees.
<Damn! Should have given him an extra kick!> Ranko thought.
Suddenly, a black rose shot into the cafe, embedding itself
into the wall over a dazed Ranma-chan's head. "Huh?" she
moaned.
"Where is my Ranma-sama, you trollops?!" Kodachi demanded.
Everyone paused to look up and see the Kunos framed by the
hole in the wall.
"Where is the vile sorceror ... ?" her brother paused,
seeing *two* redheads inside Ucchan's, one in a ripped
Chinese dress with her panties exposed and the other tied
with noodles.
Kuno felt his Junior Partner stir inside his pants. He stood
there stupified. (He was stupid before, but now he just
stood there and gaped)
Akane spatula-slammed the other kettle of hot water on the
stove toward her fiance, causing the bound redhead to shift
back into his former self. He yelped, the water almost
scalding him awake.
Ranko sighed, and took the moment of distraction to wallop
Shampoo toward Kodachi, sending both girls flying out into
the typhoon.
"Kuso!" Shampoo swore, feeling the soap completely wash off
in a lather down the street. She took a flying leap into the
cafe -
Too late. Instead of a purple-tressed Amazon, a pink-with-
purple-points cat landed in Ranma's lap. He looked down at
the frazzled, damp cat, and his eyes blew out of their
sockets.
"N-n-n-neko!!!" he screeched.
Shampoo-neko was stuck in the slightly-adhesive noodles,
unable to move. Ranma's terror kept building as the Horror
sat there, claws and teeth and hideous eyes -
Suddenly, Ranko yowled.
Ryoga saw the redhaired girl look at him with an inhuman
glare ... a *familiar* inhuman glare.
<Nani?!> he thought in confusion. He glanced over at Ranma -
the male one - who was in hysterics from the cat squirming
around his lap and Ranko - the female one - was in cat
frenzy.
<Oh crap,> he thought.
A quick swipe of her paw - er, hand - and Ryoga's umbrella
fell into neat segments. A second swipe, and Ryoga's wetsuit
had several parallel tears, his skin underneath accented by
thin streaks of blood.
<I'm ... bleeding!?! But Ranma goes out his way, even in
nekoken, to not ...>
It hit him like a revelation. Ranma had *always* held back -
that he never really had a chance to beat him.
And that this person wasn't Ranma, but was just as good.
Ryoga backed away in fear - out the hole in the wall, into
the typhoon.
The qxygen tank hit the ground with a clang. The piglet
scrambled, trying to free himself from the wetsuit.
<Aw, hell. Why me?> Shampoo thought as the neko-Ranko
stalked up to her. With a burst of adrenalin, she ripped
herself free and proceeded to make a run around and around
the restaurant to escape the claws of Neko-Ranko.
"Fascinating," Cologne murmured. "Ranma's fear of cats still
exists, but somehow he's transferred his cat persona to his
sister. Too bad she wasn't born into the tribe, she'd be
perfect."
Neko-Ranko paused at Ranma, looking down at him, then raised
a paw and slashed him free of the noodles. Ranma immdiately
grabbed her by the waist and threw her out in the rain,
knowing the curse would override the Neko-ken.
He turned back to Akane, gasping, and she ran into him arms.
"Ranma-sama!"
"Akane-sama, don't leave me!"
They embraced, and looked hard at the Fiancees and admirers.
Ranko-kun came back in inside, coughing from a lungful of
water, carrying an semi-conscious Kodachi and a wetsuit-
wrapped piglet. "Arigato, Niichan."
He shoved Kuno out of the way and tossed her burden inside.
Ryoga lunged at him, only to get punted into the far wall
and have a Kodachi thrown on him. The nosebleed he suffered
was *not* from an injury.
He leaned down to where the bottom to the torn kettle had
landed and poured the small bit of still-warm water
remaining over his head. Oddly, there was enough.
Ranko turned and joined Ranma and Akane. She stared hard at
the Kunos, Ryoga-buta, Ukyo, Neko-Shampoo, and Cologne, and
asked, "Who's stupid enough to go first against the
Saotomes?"
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To Be Continued