[Ranma][Fanfic] Nabiki-New Horizons Chapter 11

[G.L. Sandborn]

Nabiki - New Horizons
Chapter 11 - Domestic Bliss
by G.L. Sandborn

Nabiki really enjoyed these evenings with Jeffrey. So much so, that
she actually looked forward to Saturday nights. This was *their* night;
the night they did things just for themselves. No school, no work, no
outside disturbances of any kind. This week, it was rented movies, a quiet
house, and room on the couch for two.
It was a cool evening, for late December in Hawaii. The gentle ocean
breezes causing the palm trees to sway a gentle hula, their long leaves
hissing at the passing wind. The surprisingly modest Lawrence residence
was appropriately decorated for the upcoming holidays; wreath on the door
and red bows everywhere else. True to Jeffrey's heritage, a Christmas tree
graced the corner of their living room, a few carefully wrapped packages
stacked neatly underneath. It had taken awhile but Nabiki had finally
embraced the holiday without the Japanese feelings of guilt that went along
with the relative values of the gifts. For her, it was a fun time when the
rules of giri no longer applied.
Curled on the couch, dressed in her usual nightshirt, her bare feet
tucked comfortably under her long, shapely legs, Nabiki leaned lightly
against her husband's shoulder and split her time between watching the
movie and flipping through an American fashion magazine. In spite of the
relative coolness of the evening, it was still warm and cozy in the
Lawrence home.
As she turned to look at her husband, she felt a slight glow of
satisfaction at seeing him unwinding so well. Since their last trip to
Japan, Jeff had thrown himself into his work, sometimes working 14 hour
days. He worked so hard that Nabiki actually started worrying about his
health. She even sent away to Dr. Tofu for a prescription for special
herbs to put into his morning juice or tea to help him cope with all the
stress and long hours. That's why Saturday evenings were so special. They
gave Jeffrey a chance to relax around his family.
Nabiki blushed slightly when she recalled the other, more personal,
reason she liked having him home and relaxed. As he reclined slightly in
only a pair of jogging shorts, his feet propped up on the coffee table and
his hands clasped behind his head, she inventoried the physical things that
made her glad she married him. He was still quite firm of body and, in
spite of Nabiki's dislike for the activity, he still pursued his ninjutsu
training on a regular basis. He also continued lifting weights in the
manner his Marine buddies taught him. The results were enough to make
Nabiki breathe a little faster. To tell one of her secrets, *he* was the
main reason she worked so hard after the birth of Sodoshi to get her
pre-pregnancy figure back. Her competitive spirit wouldn't allow herself
to go 'flabby' when her husband looked so good. Besides, if she didn't,
he might not find her attractive any more and *that* she couldn't stand.
Even after all that had happened to them, she still loved him more
than she could express. And, yes, she still found him physically
attractive.
Shaking her head slightly and blushing at such thoughts, Nabiki
snuggled closer and casually perused the movie playing on their big screen
TV. It was some John Wayne Western that Jeffrey was so fond of. The
red-headed woman on the screen was just hitting the main character over the
head with a bottle. Nabiki chuckled lightly. Some comedy translated well
between cultures. Even in Japan, that scene would be popular - with the
women, anyway.
She laughed out loud when she put more familiar people in place of the
movie characters. In her mind, she replayed that scene, only this time
with a middle-aged Ranma-chan using the bottle on an equally middle aged
Tatewaki Kuno.
Nabiki's mind wandered back over the 18 months since Sodoshi's
kidnapping. Much of Nabiki's world had changed in that time. Most of it
expected.
Both Jeff and Nabiki reached legal 'adulthood' in Hawaii. Though not
much in their real life changed as neither engaged in any of the disturbing
habits that required such 'adultness', it did bring subtle changes expected
of advancing maturity.
Their child, showing no ill effects from her kidnapping, had first
learned to walk then surprised everyone by quickly catching on to talking.
In the last month or so, Sodoshi had displayed remarkable linguistic skills
for her age; in two languages no less. Instead of the usual single words
and unrelated pairs of words, Sodoshi was using complete sentences, albeit
sounding disturbingly like Shampoo when she did.
Jeff had built onto the back of their house, a large room, its
hardwood floor covered with foam pads and its floor to ceiling glass
windows overlooking the patio and pool. Nabiki hesitantly permitted its
construction, knowing full well what its intended use was. While Sodoshi's
formal shinobi training would not begin until she was 10, Jeff was
determined to teach her the basics much earlier. Nabiki, however, was not
going to give up without a fight and constantly plotted methods of
'disrupting' the process.
Still, the past year had contained a few surprises, most notable among
them was Sodoshi's first swimming lesson.

***** [Last Summer] *****

"Come on, sweetheart," Nabiki coaxed holding her hands out towards her
daughter. Standing in almost chest-deep water of the family's swimming
pool, Nabiki was trying to convince her daughter to let go of the side of
the pool and 'swim' her way across the 8 feet or so between them. Eighteen
month old Sodoshi, however, continued to apprehensively cling to the pool's
ladder and stare at her mother.
"I believe there is an old shinobi saying: 'The seaweed bends when the
tide changes'," Jeff noted thoughtfully from his pool lounge.
Nabiki made a face at her grinning husband. There he went using one
of those corny old shinobi thoughts of wisdom again. She hated when he did
that. She especially hated when they didn't seem to make much sense. As
it appeared he was not going to be forthcoming with an interpretation, she
resorted to asking.
"So what does *that* mean?"
"You shouldn't force her."
"I'm not forcing her, Jeffrey." Nabiki dropped her hands only for a
moment to lodge her protest. "We live on an island surrounded by water.
She's got to learn how to swim sometime."
"Nabiki, she's only a year and a half." Jeff raised his sunglasses
and scowled at his young wife as she adjusted her bikini again. While he
was momentarily distracted by his wife's movements (the bikini she was
'wearing' was the one he refused to allow her to wear anywhere but in the
family pool - for obvious reasons), his eyes finally caught on little
Sodoshi as she seemed to be mentally measuring the distance between herself
and the apparent safety of her mother.
Jeff was about to make another suggestion when Sodoshi settled the
issue for him. Setting her jaw, Sodoshi lunged from the ladder towards her
mother, her little arms splashing away as they churned through the water.
It was a brave effort.
It was an impressive effort.
It was about 2 feet short.
To everyone's surprise, Sodoshi sank like a rock, her little arms
still churning and her feet kicking like a frog.
Nabiki stared, dumbfounded, as she watched with raised eyebrows her
daughter sink faster than.... well, faster than her sister, Akane.
Jeff sat up suddenly while Nabiki, tongue planted in the corner of her
mouth and mindful of getting her hair wet, reached down in the water and
felt around for her daughter. After a few seconds of searching, Nabiki
wore a satisfied look as she pulled the sputtering Sodoshi from the pool.
"Well, that wasn't too bad," Nabiki noted while wiping the water from
her daughter's face. Sodoshi kept making spitting sounds as she attempted
to get the taste of the chlorinated pool out of her mouth.
"You want to try again, sweetie?" Nabiki was determined that her
daughter would be able to swim before the end of summer. Sodoshi's
frowning response, however, told both parents it was going to be a long
summer.
Moving into waist deep water, Nabiki held her daughter out at arms
length and coaxed her back into the water with promises of holding on this
time. Only one of Sodoshi's raised eyebrows betrayed her skepticism at
such 'guarantees'. She knew her mother too well.
At first, all seemed to go as expected; Sodoshi holding onto her
mother's hands and kicking her little feet. She even appeared to be
enjoying it. Then Nabiki slowly moved her hands out further on her
daughter's until only her fingers were being clutched tightly by Sodoshi.
"You can do it, So-chan. Keep kicking," Nabiki encouraged while
backing slowly towards the deeper end of the pool. Sodoshi's face became
etched with her determination as she suddenly let go of her mother's
fingers and began splashing her arms through the water at a furious rate.
Once again, Sodoshi sank to the bottom of the pool.
"This is really freaky," Nabiki exclaimed as she, once again, felt
around in the pool for her daughter.
"Didn't you say your sister had the same problem." Jeff was leaning
forward now, his arms crossed and stroking his chin. "Try a little to your
left. She seems to be making progress across the bottom."
"You don't think it's hereditary, do you?" Nabiki sounded worried as
she finally retrieved her daughter and repeated the face wiping, toddler
sputtering, eye blinking routine.
"Could be. Still, it doesn't seem to bother your sister all that
much." With the 'rescue' of his daughter, Jeff sat back on his lounge to
consider the ramifications.
"Maybe, but my sister is not supposed to be a nin-ja," Nabiki taunted
by spreading out the word ninja in a sassy way as she carried her daughter
to the side of the pool.
"Ninjaaaa!" Sodoshi crowed.
"Oh shut up," Nabiki mumbled and started to climb out.
Jeff couldn't help but chuckle at his wife's reaction. Sodoshi had no
idea what she was talking about. Nabiki, on the other hand, did. She was
still highly resistant to her daughter undergoing *any* training in the
hands of Master Sato or anyone else that might turn her into one of those
'damned shadow warriors'. As the last elder of her own clan, she was
determined that her daughter would be nothing less than a jonin; an elder
in training. She would develop her mind and *not* all that martial arts
nonsense.
"We'll try this again tomorrow." Nabiki handed Sodoshi to Jeff.
While Nabiki turned to pick up a towel off the neighboring chase
lounge, Jeff made some remark about how his wife's bikini had slipped
sufficiently to expose the dark valley between her tight little buttocks.
Nabiki froze for a second, bent over, her back to her husband. A
number of possible responses scrolled past her mind. She chose the one
that suited her mood.
<Well, if he wants a show...> she mused with a tiny smile.
Slowly, she reached back with both hands and sensuously ran her middle
fingers along the perimeter of her bikini bottoms, as if checking Jeff's
claim. Only the slight arching of her back betrayed her own excitement at
such a performance. It was sexy, it was erotic, it was pure power over her
husband. Nabiki knew well how to manipulate her husband's emotions. She
loved the feelings of power and control it gave her. He was hers to
control and she knew all the tricks.
Jeff swallowed hard as her delicate fingers glided across the edge of
her bottoms before seductively adjusting the sparse material to cover as
much of her anatomy as it would allow. A sly smile slowly graced her face
as she looked over her shoulder at Jeff and reached down to toy with one of
the tiny strings that held her bottoms together. She had Jeff's total
attention. Sodoshi, however, was busy watching the neighbor's cat stalk
some birds perched on the top of their privacy fence.
Pinching the end of one of the strings between her index finger and
thumb, Nabiki slowly pulled the tiny lanyard until the knot held. For a
few agonizing seconds, the whole world seemed to hold its collective
breath, waiting for Nabiki to finish. With a sly smile and a gentle tug,
the knot popped free. As her bottoms started to peel away from her shapely
backside, she quickly wrapped a large beach towel around her waist,
securing it with a tuck. Turning and taking a step towards the quickly
breathing Jeffrey, Nabiki seductively exposed a long shapely leg which
ended with her foot on the lounge, her toes almost caressing the crease of
his ever tightening swim suit. With another seductive smile, Nabiki
reached through the opening caused by the towel ends coming together to
slowly pull the remaining string that held the bottom half of her suit to
her shapely body. As her husband's bemused look dissolved into mild
surprise, Nabiki's wet bikini bottoms dropped to the concrete deck with a
'splat'. Assuming a position with her feet on either side of her, now
discarded bikini bottoms, Nabiki gently ran her fingers across her firm
stomach and slowly down her thighs. Like a Marilyn Monroe character,
Nabiki's face assumed a pouty look of sexual excitement as her fingers
slowly drew the front of her improvised skirt upward, exposing her
beautiful legs almost to their apex. She paused for a moment, smiled at
her husband, and abruptly released the beach towel so that it resumed its
proper place, completely covering her from waist to below her knees. With
a demure look, Nabiki knelt to pick up her discarded bottoms and
nonchalantly tossed them to Jeffrey, who caught the tiny garment with one
hand. He couldn't help but notice how much of it fit into the palm of that
hand.
With a sassy, satisfied shake of her hips and a supreme look of
accomplishment, Nabiki turned and disappeared into the house to shower and
dress. Jeff draped his wife's discarded bikini bottoms over the beach
chair next to him, rolled his eyes sky-ward, and blew out a deep breath.
"Nabs, you still know the right buttons to push," he mumbled.
"Mommy!" Sodoshi crowed as she finally turned back in time to see her
mother enter the house.
"Aaaand then some." Jeff stared at the door until he was able to rope
in his libido. Breaking out of his reverie, he smiled to his daughter.
"Want a panda-back ride inside?"
Sodoshi squealed with delight as her daddy got off the lounge and
offered his back to her. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she happily
clung to her daddy as he carried her giggling into the house.

***** *****

Nabiki sighed as the rest of that particular summer danced through her
mind. It had been as idyllic as any she could remember. Except that
Sodoshi never did learn to swim.
Jeff shifted his position slightly to place an arm around Nabiki's
shoulders and drew her into a tighter snuggle. Gently, Nabiki nuzzled her
way to a comfortable position with her head resting on his chest, her hand
gently teasing the fine hair on his thigh. One of the characters in the
movie was just announcing she was going to marry the local sheriff. Nabiki
thought back to another recent wedding, one involving a certain Tendo
sister and a handsome young doctor.

***** [Last month - Tendo Home in Nerima] *****

"Oh, there you are," Akane sighed like this was the end of a long
search. In fact, she found her sister exactly where she expected to find
her; in her old room, seated on her desk chair, and staring out the window.
At the sound of Akane's voice, Nabiki slowly turned her half-opened
eyes towards her sister. Both were still casually dressed in spite of it
being so close to the wedding.
"Kasumi will be ready for us to get her dressed in a few minutes."
Akane sighed as she slumped onto the end of the bed. "It's going to be
weird having both of you married. I guess that just leaves me."
"What's the matter? Lover-boy getting cold feet?" Nabiki teased
lightly. She acted like even this much of a taunt required great effort.
Teasing Akane wasn't as much fun as it once was. Perhaps it was because of
all they had been through together. Perhaps it was more the result of them
growing up.
"No," Akane shook her head as she collapsed back onto the queen-sized
bed, flinging her arms out wide. "We've agreed to not get married until we
both graduate college, get the dojo working again, and build up some
money."
"What about all his.... diversions?" Nabiki almost sounded interested
as she shifted position to better look at her sister. She knew well the
troubles her sister and her fiance faced. Troubles Nabiki couldn't do much
about, unless she wanted to do something illegal. Above all else, she
wanted to see Akane happy. Since Akane's happiness was now tied up in
Ranma, his problems were now hers.
"That too." Akane draped an arm casually over her eyes, like she
didn't want to see the images that were conjured up by the names: Shampoo,
Ukyou, and Kodachi. "We'll have to deal with them before we marry. Else
there'll be no end to the trouble they'll cause."
Nabiki nodded her agreement and looked out the window again. She knew
Akane was talking about doing the impossible - at least, with all three.
"Kodachi won't give up, Shampoo can't give up, and Ukyou...," Nabiki
observed while looking out of the window.
"And that doesn't even address the 'fiances' we don't know about yet,"
Akane snorted from behind her arm.
"If Genma Saotome were *my* father-in-law, I'd douse him with cold
water and sell him to the nearest zoo." Nabiki scowled at the passing
clouds.
Nabiki didn't think much of Ranma's father, considering him a lazy
financial leech. She saw the forced engagement as only another ploy by the
elder Saotome to secure himself a comfortable retirement, complete with a
dutiful daughter-in-law to care for him when he got old. Nabiki wrinkled
her nose distastefully at the Japanese practice of the wife caring for her
husband's parents as they aged and thanked her lucky stars that Jeff's
parents were determined to retire to Florida, about as far away from Hawaii
as they could get while still remaining in the United States. It wasn't as
if she disliked them. On the contrary, she really liked his mother. She
had even toyed with the idea of letting her live with them, once Jeff's
father passed on. But Nabiki valued her privacy and independence. Such
would be severely tested should she invite retired family members into her
home. And Nabiki really *hated* having her independence curtailed.
For several minutes, both girls quietly savored the image of Genma-
panda pacing behind the bars of his zoo compound.
"I'm sure going to miss Oneechan," Akane finally lamented.
"Now Akane, you know perfectly well that Daddy agreed to this wedding
on the condition that Tofu-sensei moves in here. He even gave them the
room down by the bath."
Nabiki seemed amused at her father's 'deal' with Tofu. While it got
the good doctor out of his dingy little apartment behind his clinic, it
also made sure that old Soun Tendo would not go a day without a good Kasumi
meal. She had to agree that Soun was as big a schemer as Genma. It was
just *he* placed his family before his own comfort.
"Yeah, but it'll still be different." Akane sat up and stretched
while stifling a yawn.
"I don't see how. She'll still be here, cooking, cleaning, and doing
the laundry."
"But what if she gets pregnant?"
Nabiki slowly turned to scowl at her younger sister.
"You'll cope."
"But what if I have to.... cook?"
"Then they'll cope." Nabiki shook her head, convinced her sister was
worrying about nothing. "Besides, it's time you learned how to cook
anyway."
"You know better than that," Akane pouted and folded her hands into
her lap. "I just can't do it."
"Oh, for Pete's sake, take a class or something," Nabiki growled at
her little sister. Akane was acting helpless again, something she
decidedly was not, and it irritated Nabiki to no end. "At least learn how
to use the microwave I bought you last New Years."
Akane just pouted at her knees as she fidgeted on the bed like she was
trying to think of another excuse why she couldn't learn how to cook.
Nabiki was quite correct, though. Since she started buying modern
appliances for the Tendo household, it was becoming easier for anyone to
function, after a fashion, in the kitchen. Even Soun Tendo knew how to use
the new microwave oven to heat up a frozen pizza or indulge in his latest
gastronomic passion - popcorn. So there was no excuse for Akane to be
acting so helpless.
A knock on Nabiki's door averted any further discussion of Akane's
cooking problems. There would be time for such later.
"Nabiki? Are you in there?" It was Kasumi, looking nervous but still
functioning - sort of.
"You ready to put on the 'Kimono from hell'?" Nabiki stifled a
chuckle, remembering how hot and uncomfortable it was wearing the
multilayered, heavy, and sweltering traditional wedding kimono. At least
her sister had the good sense to hold her wedding in early December when
the temperatures were milder. Still, she couldn't wait to see how Kasumi
liked wearing that thing. She especially couldn't wait to help apply the
traditional 'white face'.
"Yes.... I guess...." Kasumi picked nervously at the door, like she
was hunting for the right words to what she wanted to ask Nabiki.
Nabiki could tell her sister was working on a problem. It was so
blatantly obvious by the way she just stood in the doorway, acting nervous
and all.
"We have some time yet. Why don't you come in and sit awhile?"
Nabiki returned to looking out the window as Kasumi hesitantly moved to the
opposite end of the bed from Akane. Sitting abruptly, she fidgeted with
the hem of her skirt while casting uncomfortable glances at her youngest
sister.
"It's been a long time since we all gathered in Nabiki's room," Akane
chirped, resuming her 'little sister' act. Nabiki couldn't help but think
how it was times like this when Akane appeared to really enjoy being the
youngest. You could tell by the way her eyes flashed mischievously as she
looked between her sisters - like she just *knew* this was going to be
good.
Kasumi abruptly nodded her agreement to Akane's observation before
resuming her nervous hem teasing. It was uncomfortably obvious something
was on Oneechan's mind. Nabiki, tired of the subtle approach - for now,
decided to get whatever it was out in the open.
"So, what's on your mind, sis?" Nabiki continued to look out the
window, maintaining her calm demeanor while probing her sister for the
truth to her visit.
"In all the times we've talked.... since you got married, I mean."
Kasumi paused and grimaced. She looked like someone chastising herself at
her clumsiness in approaching this subject. "We never discussed one
thing."
Nabiki slowly turned her head, still supported by her fist, to face
her older sister. A small smile spread over her face.
"Sex?"
"NO," Kasumi protested, looking nervously at her younger sister before
resuming her bowed position. The very sound of the word seemed to unravel
Kasumi slightly. "I mean.... Something else."
"Well, outside of cooking and cleaning, what else is there?" Nabiki
was really enjoying this now. She had Kasumi practically twitching out of
nervousness. Akane leaned a little closer.
"Oh, Nabiki, I just want to know what it's like being married."
Kasumi punctuated her frustration by flopping her hands into her lap and
casting her sister a pleading look.
Nabiki stared at her older sister for several seconds, evaluating just
how serious to make her answer.
"I thought you knew all there was to know about marriage."
"I know *how* to be a good marriage prospect and *how* to take care of
babies, Nabiki. Not even my married friends will tell me what it's
like.... you know." Kasumi succumbed to her nervousness again and hung her
head to hide her blush. Akane leaned in even closer while Nabiki grinned
with her answer.
"Sex?"
"Ooooh, is that all you think about?" Kasumi waved her arms in
frustration, finishing with her cheek supported on her fist, a wickedly
irritated look on her face. "There's *got* to be more to marriage than
just.... *that*."
Nabiki almost laughed out loud. Her sister couldn't even use the word
in a sentence. Rolling her eyes, she lamented poor Tofu and his wedding
night.
"Well, with Jeffrey it's one of the side benefits." Nabiki was
grinning ear to ear now. Kasumi continued to scowl at the floor. Akane
gulped and leaned over so far she practically fell off the bed. It must
have sounded to her like Nabiki was about to share the 'mother of all'
juicy parts.
"There's just *got* to be more to marriage than cooking, cleaning,
and... you know."
"Of course. There's also cold feet in bed, persistent snoring,
leaving the toilet seat up, can't hit the clothes hamper with his socks,
forgets to mow the lawn on weekends, sneaks out to play golf with his
friends, and can't seem to remember important dates like your birthday."
Nabiki sized up her sister with every revelation. She could almost see the
impact of each item as she delivered it.
"Really?" Akane gasped. "Why up?"
Nabiki slowly rolled her head towards her little sister, a look of
pity on her face. Akane immediately lowered her head, like she was hiding
her embarrassment at asking the 'wrong' question.
Kasumi's eyes quickly raced across the floor trying to fit each of
these things into her pre-conceived notion of marriage. For the life of
her, she only considered the cooking, cleaning, and the taking care of
babies part of marriage. She never considered all the 'little' things that
went along with sharing one's life with another person.
"Snoring?" Kasumi finally managed to squeak. She couldn't even
conceive of her Tofu making such a disgusting noise in his sleep.
"Yeah, but a firm foot in his mid-section usually solves the problem."
Nabiki continued to maintain her bored, dead-pan expression while revealing
to her sisters the finer points of matrimony. "There's nothing you can do
about the toilet seat thing. I know, I've tried."
Kasumi started to ask something but aborted the attempt due to the
question being either too embarrassing or too strange to ask. Nabiki
figured she'd just add a few other points to the mix.
"Oh, and you got to keep a close eye on them or they'll try to wear
the same underwear two days in a row."
"Eeeeeeww!" Akane's face screwed into a disgusted look to go along
with her pronouncement. Nabiki's annoyed glance caused her to cross her
arms and pout at being treated like a child. "How am I supposed to learn
anything if you won't let me talk?" she mumbled.
"And for some reason, they never seem to remember to put the new roll
of toilet paper on the spindle. When they run out, they just grab a new
roll and leave it on the counter when they're done." Nabiki resumed
looking out the window, making sure she could see Kasumi's reflection in
the glass to catch her older sister's reaction.
"And kids are a bundle of fun too. There's 3 AM feedings, spitting
up, childhood diseases, and my personal favorite, diapers with the most
disgusting contents."
Akane was about to react once more but Nabiki's sideways glance cut
her off. Again, the youngest Tendo crossed her arms in a huff and pouted.
"So, Oneechan, you ready to take that big step now?" Nabiki rubbed
her hands together like she was about to close a deal. Kasumi looked shell
shocked, her mouth working like a beached fish. Akane just continued to
stew.
"Yup, you look just about ready." Nabiki was *really* enjoying this
now. "All that's left is to wrap you up and deliver you to the good
doctor."
Nabiki rose from her seat and held a hand out for Kasumi. Akane,
anxious to have *some* fun, quickly joined her older sister. Kasumi,
however, paused both by raising one finger.
"Just a moment," Kasumi said seriously. "If I have to endure snoring,
cold feet, and toilet seats, perhaps you should tell me about this... 'sex'
thing."
Nabiki covered her shock at hearing Kasumi use the word 'sex' by
casting a sly glance Akane's way. Akane, always anxious to learn
something... juicy, immediately sat down next to Kasumi and eyed her older
sister in anticipation. Nabiki just shrugged her shoulders and resumed her
seat. *This* was going to be one of the most interesting discussions ever
held in the old Tendo home.
In the hallway, should anyone have been within ear shot, the low
buzzing of conversation coming from Nabiki's room was suddenly punctuated
by Akane's shocked exclamation.
"He does WHAT?"

Downstairs, Jeff was anxiously hunting for someone to watch Sodoshi.
Tofu, quite nervous about the whole ceremony, was in Soun's room, staring
at the wall, his glasses totally fogged. Genma and Soun had tried to help
earlier but their advice only pushed the poor doctor further into his
trance. Jeff figured Tofu just needed a little... peer-group help getting
ready.
Finding Ranma sitting in front of the TV, Jeff thought he had the
problem solved. He also decided Ranma would be a most reluctant
baby-sitter, so he had to act fast.
"Ranma, I need your help," Jeff began as he towed his daughter towards
Akane's fiance. "Tofu is crashed in Soun's room staring at the wall. I'm
going to try and snap him out of it but I need someone to watch Sodoshi for
a few minutes."
Ranma's eyes went from the TV to Jeff to Sodoshi and back to Jeff
again. It wasn't as if he didn't like Sodoshi. On the contrary, he found
a lot to like in his feisty little niece. It was just that he had never
been left alone with the girl and had no idea how to entertain someone so
young.
Before Ranma could protest, Sodoshi made the decision for him. While
holding a small cup of fruit juice in one hand, she disengaged herself from
her father with the other and gently took her Uncle Ranma's hand. The
warmth of her touch and the innocent look in her eyes seemed to melt the
martial artist who, reluctantly, agreed to watch Sodoshi - for a few
minutes.
Jeff hurriedly departed to help Tofu, leaving Ranma and Sodoshi alone.
"Well...," Ranma improvised. "Do you like TV?"
Sodoshi nodded eagerly. The TV in question was showing one of those
silly Japanese slapstick comedy shows that Sodoshi was prohibited from
watching back home. The female actress was just leaning over so her slinky
mounted fake 'breasts' abruptly dropped to the floor. The TV audience
roared with laughter. Ranma chuckled like a kid. He really liked this
show.
Sodoshi, in order to make herself more comfortable, tried to climb
into her Uncle Ranma's lap. Unfortunately, little children were never
intended to climb and hold glasses of fruit juice at the same time. Just
as she got her knee on her uncle's leg, the tiny glass spilled, dumping its
entire contents over Ranma's legs.
Ranma gritted his teeth and valiantly fought the inevitable. It was
just a little moisture, he thought. Perhaps he could fight its effect. As
usual, he was wrong.
For Sodoshi, it was like trying to climb into someone's lap during an
earthquake. Her little fingers gripped Ranma's black pants to keep from
being thrown off by his trembling body. In moments, the shaking stopped
and Sodoshi completed her climb. As she raised her head, she collided with
something warm and soft that reminded her of her mother.
With a scowl, Sodoshi turned her head to look at Ranma. Instead of a
dark haired male, she was confronted with a red-headed, big busted, female
wearing a painful smile. Quickly, Sodoshi scrambled off Ranma's lap and
stood just out of arms reach, staring at the strange woman.
With a sigh, Ranma-chan leaned forward and rested her cheek on her
fist, her look of resignation growing.
Sodoshi couldn't figure out what happened to her Uncle Ranma. He was
here just a minute ago. She bent over and looked under the table and
across the room where a cupboard was slid open. There was no sign of her
uncle anywhere. Looking back at the strange woman, Sodoshi set her jaw and
frowned.
"Where Uncle Ranma?" she demanded.
"Believe it or not, *I'm* your Uncle Ranma."
Sodoshi considered the possibilities for a few seconds before stating
her conclusions.
"You not Uncle Ranma. Uncle Ranma *boy*. You girl." Sodoshi's face
locked into a 2 year-old's version of her mother's 'look'.
Before Ranma could counter Sodoshi's assertion, he was rescued by
Nabiki - well, sort of. Returning from explaining the facts of life to her
sisters, Nabiki came looking for her daughter. It was time to dress Kasumi
and she wanted Sodoshi to be there.
"Mommy, she not Uncle Ranma," Sodoshi accused as she ran to her
mother. "Uncle Ranma *boy*."
Nabiki picked up her daughter and shot Ranma a sly smile. Somehow, he
got the feeling he was in worse trouble now.
"Cousin Ranko shouldn't tease you like that." Nabiki tried to hide
her grin from Sodoshi while needling Ranma. "Honestly, Ranko, teasing a
small child..."
"Yeah," Sodoshi echoed, her face still graced by her own 'look of
warning'.
Ranma-chan tried to explain but Nabiki was still too fast for her.
"Come on, sweetheart," Nabiki cooed to her daughter as she started to
walk towards Kasumi's new room. "Your Aunt Kasumi needs our help getting
ready for the wedding."
Sodoshi's scowl towards Ranma-chan accompanied their departure.
"Well, it could have been worse," Ranma-chan muttered.
It got worse.
"Ranma!" Akane's voice proceeded her into the main room. She too was
on her way to help her sister dress. The sight of her fiance in his female
form was not what she wished to see right now. "Why are you fooling
around? We have to get ready for the wedding."
"But, Sodoshi..." Ranma tried to explain as he pointed the direction
Nabiki and Sodoshi had taken.
"Oh, you were trying to entertain So-chan," Akane chirped. "That's
different."
"It is?" Ranma-chan pushed herself upright and stared at Akane.
She'd never gotten off this easily before.
"Of course, silly." Akane giggled behind her hand.
Just then, Sodoshi peeked around the corner from the hallway.
"You not Uncle Ranma. Uncle Ranma *boy*," she accused. As Akane
quickly caught on to what was happening, her eyes twinkled mischievously at
the prospects. Ranma, however, totally missed it.
"Yeah, Ranma *boy*," Akane duplicated her little niece's claim, adding
her own twist to the word 'boy' while attempting to mimic Sodoshi's firm-
lipped scowl.
"No, I...."
"And a pervert too." Akane quickly crossed the room and picked up her
niece, fighting all the while the urge to break out laughing.
"Pervert?" Sodoshi repeated questioningly. She had no idea what that
meant, in either language.
"Come on, So-chan. I'll explain it to you while we help Aunt Kasumi
get dressed."
"But..." Ranma-chan tried to explain again.
Akane just shook her head in mock disgust.
"Uncle Ranma pervert," Sodoshi repeated with a look of supreme
confidence.
Akane happily cuddled her niece and left for Kasumi and Tofu's room.
Their departure was accompanied by the sound of someone banging their head
on the table.

"Tofu?" Jeff called from the open doorway. "Sensei?"
The figure seated on the floor, staring at the small shrine, made no
move. Jeff sighed, shook his head and entered carrying a large bottle of
sake and two glasses. He thought all he would need is a little sake to
'relax' the good doctor. However, seeing the look on Tofu's face, Jeff got
the impression he was going to need the whole bottle.
"Doing a little yoga to relax, sensei?" Jeff poured the first glass
while watching carefully for Tofu's reaction.
"Mother's here," Tofu said flatly.
Jeff quickly started scanning the room for ghosts.
"I thought Kasumi's mother was stuck guarding Fukoono?"
"Not *her* mother, *my* mother." Tofu shook his head sadly.
Jeff blinked a few times, trying to fit how Tofu's mother being here
was something to cause the groom to hide like a little kid. Seconds passed
as the glass Jeff was filling started to overflow. With a grunt of
disgust, Jeff quickly set the bottle down and shook the excess sake from
his hand.
"Here, drink this," Jeff suggested while holding the full glass in
front of Tofu. "So, what's the problem of your mother being here?"
"You don't understand," Tofu took the glass from Jeff and quickly
downed a gulp big enough to cause even Jeff to wince. "She's got her
envelope with her again."
"What envelope?" Jeff asked very slowly, like they were talking about
some FedEx package from hell or something.
"The envelope she carries with the girls in it."
"Girls?"
Tofu fidgeted and shifted to frowning at the floor.
"She's been after me to marry one of the girls in her envelope for...
I don't know how many years." Tofu punctuated his frustration with a wave
of his free hand.
"Are you telling me she doesn't approve of Kasumi?"
"No, no, no, it's not that - exactly," Tofu grimaced. "It's just...
well, she's not sure Kasumi will be able to produce..."
"Produce?"
"... babies - children - offspring." Tofu was back to waving his hand
in frustration.
Jeff was silent for a few moments as his mind sorted through Tofu's
problem. He tried to put Kasumi in some of the sexual hijinks Nabiki was
so fond of. His mind kept rejecting the scene as impossible. In fact, he
couldn't imagine Kasumi even in bed with a man, much less....
"Kasumi has been studying hard all her life to become a good wife and
mother," Tofu said like he was trying to convince his mother as he stared
at the small shrine. "I'm sure she'll be able to produce fine children."
Jeff only half heard Tofu's declaration as he was still trying to
imagine Kasumi having sex. It just wasn't adding up. The only thing *he*
could see was Kasumi locking herself in the bathroom on their honeymoon,
only emerging to catch a plane home. Jeff shook his head out of pity for
the doctor.
Their discussion was interrupted by a knock at their door. When Jeff
opened it, he saw a short, squat older lady carrying a large manila
envelope that looked full.
"There you are, son," she said in Japanese while bowing her way past
Jeff. "I would feel much better about this wedding if I knew you had fully
examined the girls I've picked out for you."
Jeff just closed the door, leaned lightly against the wall, and poured
himself another glass of sake. This, was going to be interesting.
"I hate to do this in front of the gaijin," she almost whispered,
casting a nervous look towards Jeffrey. Jeff just grinned, nodded like a
goofy gaijin who didn't understand the language, and raised his glass in an
abrupt toast to Tofu's mother. "Just look at these girls one more time."
"Mother, I've seen them a hundred times. Every time you come to
visit, you bring the same envelope with the same girls in it." Tofu shook
his head sadly. "If I haven't picked one out before, why do you think I'm
going to pick one out now?"
"It's just this Tendo Kasumi girl is so.... thin. Are you sure she's
the best match for you? What's her blood type?" Tofu's mother seemed to
be putting on her last gasp attempt to convince her son to reconsider.
As mothers go, she was a master of persuasion. Over the next few
minutes, she pleaded, she gestured, she did everything but fake a heart
attack to convince her son to take one last look at the prospects in her
envelope.
"I love Kasumi and I'm going to marry her," Tofu said tiredly out
loud.
"Tofu!" she admonished even louder. "You shouldn't say such things in
front of the G-A-I-J-I-N."
"Mother, the G-A-I-J-I-N speaks better Japanese than Y-O-U."
"Oh," his mother reacted with an embarrassed hand over her mouth.
"Please forgive me, mister...." She paused with a confused look on her
face.
Tofu did the introductions. Only to have his mother grab the front of
his yukata and hiss a question his way. Jeff saw the grab but totally
missed the question.
"Did you say: Lawrence-san? THE Lawrence-san?" Even Tofu's mother
knew of Jeff Lawrence and his millions. As a career 'matchmaker' she knew
all the rich people and their families.
"Yes, mother. *That* Lawrence-san." Tofu was being just as quiet with
his reply as his mother was with the question.
"I'll bet he knows lots of young, wealthy, and eligible bachelors,"
she said softly as she eyed the nervous looking Jeff Lawrence. Jeff had
correctly surmised that they were talking about him.
"Mother, haven't you grown out of your matchmaking yet?"
"A woman never grows out of wanting to see healthy young ladies
happily married and producing healthy babies." She sounded a bit indignant
with her protest.
"Mother, please don't do this," Tofu finally said in a loud voice.
"Tofu...," she replied with a condescending look and innocent smile
that clearly indicated her mind was already made up. Tofu just shook his
head.
Mrs. Ono turned to look at Jeffrey, her smile positively predatory.
Jeff tried to grin but it kept slipping into a trapped animal
expression. As Tofu's mother closed in with her envelope of marriage
prospects, Jeff gulped down the remainder of the sake in his glass. Tofu
just shook his head. Mother was stalking big game and there was nothing he
could do about it.
"I hope you were not offended by my earlier comments." She was acting
uncomfortably apologetic. "Perhaps we should take these out in the main
room and let my son finish getting dressed." Her smile left Jeff
distinctly uneasy.
Nodding nervously, Jeff opened the door and held it for her, pausing
only long enough to set the almost full sake bottle on a small table just
inside the door.
As they walked down the hall, Jeff pulled the first photo out. He was
trying to be nice to Tofu's mother. He didn't have the heart to tell her
he knew of no eligible bachelors but figured he'd just look at the pictures
anyway - just to prove he could be nice.
<How bad could they be,> he thought as he pulled out the first
picture. <After all, she's his mother and I'm sure she has only his best
interest in... OH MY GOD!>
Jeff jerked to a halt staring at, what appeared to him to be, a sumo
wrestler - a very large, potentially female sumo wrestler.
"She's such a healthy young lady, isn't she?" Tofu's mother excitedly
noted. "She would make a wonderful wife for some lucky young man."
<Lady, she'd make a wonderful linebacker for some lucky football
team.> Jeff swallowed hard, smiled, and nodded his 'agreement'.
As they sat down at the empty main room table (Ranma having long since
dealt with his 'problem' and was now up in his room changing) Tofu's mother
proceeded to outline the girl's qualifications, taking special care to note
her strong hips - perfect for bearing many children. Jeff continued his
painful smile while nodding to everything she said.
"She's quite... healthy looking," Jeff offered as he started to sweat.
"Yes and from a good family too." Mrs. Ono assumed a contemplative
look. "Didn't you marry the middle Tendo daughter?"
"Yes, the Tendos are a noble family, adhering to the traditions of
their ancestors." Jeff sounded confident as he assured Tofu's mother of
the tradition of the noble house of Tendo.
"Sodoshi!" Nabiki's voice echoed down the hall.
"What was that?"
Before Jeff could answer, Sodoshi, dressed only in her underwear, her
body streaked with 'white face' and wearing the bride's headdress, came
tearing through the main room heading for the front door. Right behind her
was an irritated Nabiki, dressed in a loose fitting yukata and streaks of
'white face' smeared all over her exposed flesh, yelling for her daughter
to stop running and making valiant grabs at the giggling child.
Mrs. Ono, looking surprised, watched as Sodoshi changed course,
rounded the table, and headed back down the hall.
"Come back here, you little weasel!" Nabiki made one last lunge for
her daughter but only accomplished tripping over Jeff's pillow and tumbling
across the room. Cursing in English, Nabiki gathered herself and took off
down the hall after her daughter. Jeff quietly continued to look through
the photographs, totally ignoring the chase going on around him.
"Ah, wasn't that one of the Tendo girls?" Mrs. Ono asked, her shock
over what just happened clearly evident.
"As a matter of fact, that was my wife."
"And the little girl?"
"My daughter."
"Oh..." Mrs. Ono paused trying to fit everything that just happened
into place. "Isn't that a bit...."
"Unusual?" Jeff finished for her. "I suppose it is, but we've gotten
used to it."
Mrs. Ono stared bug-eyed at the table as she tried to imagine being
related to such a family. Her thoughts quickly turned to the many girls
who's pictures now lay scattered across the table.
"Ah.... Perhaps.... ah.... now is not the best time to be looking at
these pictures." Tofu's mother quickly gathered up all the photos and
returned them to her envelope. If Nabiki was any indication as to what
happens to proper Japanese girls from a good family *after* marriage to an
American, well, she was not going to be responsible for corrupting any
other young ladies.
As Mrs. Ono finished gathering up her pictures, Sodoshi came running
through the room again, still dressed only in her underwear. This time,
Jeff snagged her with a quickly extended arm and reeled in the giggling
little girl.
"But, you have to admit, Tendo girls produce perfect babies," Jeff
grinned as he held up his giggling daughter like 'Exhibit A'.
"Yes... I suppose... You'll excuse me, won't you?" Tofu's mother
quickly disappeared with her envelope of potential brides. Matchmaking
would have to wait for another day.
Jeff was tickling his daughter when an exhausted Nabiki showed up.
"Well, we're finally finished," she sighed while brushing some hair
out from in front of her face. "Now all I have to do is get So-chan and
myself ready."
"And Kasumi?"
"The fathers will be along in a few minutes to move her to the
'viewing'." Nabiki crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. "I guess
I better get the 'wild child' here upstairs, cleaned up and into her
dress."
"So, what happened with our little 'painted lady' back there?" Jeff
tickled Sodoshi's little round tummy causing her to squeal with delight.
"She tried to help put the 'white face' on Kasumi... then herself...
and finally me." Nabiki directed her mildly bemused look of disdain at her
daughter. "She ruined a perfectly good pair of slacks and a nice blouse
with all that stuff."
"Well, that explains the chase."
"Yeah," Nabiki sighed before her look changed to curious. "Just who
was that lady in here with you?"
"Tofu's mother." Jeff tickled Sodoshi again.
"What did *she* want?"
"From the looks of things, she was peddling potential brides."
"You're kidding. A matchmaker?"
"Yeah, and judging from all her 'clients', a pretty successful one at
that."
"Did Tofu see her?"
"Unfortunately, yes. I had to let her con me into leaving him alone."
"Speaking of the groom, is he ready?"
"Oooops," Jeff muttered. "I forgot all about him."
"You better check on him while I take care of our daughter."
Dismissed, Jeff made a bee-line to Tofu's dressing room. Opening the
door, he found a very mellow Tofu, fully dressed and finishing off the last
of the sake.
"Ah, brother-in-law," Tofu slurred as he tried to look down the neck
of the empty sake bottle. "Did you pick me out a bride?"
<Uh ooooh,> Jeff thought as he placed both hands on top of his head.
<We're both dead, sensei.>
"You know, I'll bet Betty would know how to handle mother." Tofu
tried to stand but was only able to roll over onto his side. In Western
terms, the guy was totally bagged.
Moving quickly, Jeff closed the door and tried to right the drunken
doctor while straightening his clothes and smoothing his hair. No matter
how hard Jeff worked, Tofu wasn't looking any better. A sudden knock at
the door didn't help matters any.
"Are you ready in there?" It was Akane's voice.
"Just a minute," Jeff called as he quickly looked around the room for
something to prop the doctor up against. Spotting Soun's desk chair, he
released the doctor, who promptly rolled over onto his back, and pulled the
chair over next to the pillow where Kasumi was supposed to sit for the
viewing.
"Jeffrey?" Akane's voice was beginning to sound like it did when she
and Ranma had one of their 'disagreements'.
"Just a minute, Akane." Jeff grabbed the limp Tofu and hauled him
over to the chair. With a grunt, he placed the doctor in the chair and
quickly looked for something to prop him up.
"Jeffrey! Kasumi's coming. What are you doing in there?"
"We're almost ready!" Jeff called back as he spied Soun's family sword
display. Grabbing the midnight blue katana from its stand, he used it as a
primitive support to prop up the drunken Tofu, making sure the doctor's
hand was also grasping the ray skin grip. As an after thought, he pulled
the tanto from its scabbard and carefully slid it around the slats of the
chair and through the back of Tofu's belt; effectively pinning the doctor
to his seat. With a little adjustment, he was able to cover the tanto with
the loose folds of the doctor's wedding kimono.
"Now, don't move. Don't talk. And try to smile." Jeff finished by
quickly adjusting Tofu's tunic, fixing his glasses, and patting his hair
into place.
"I think I'm going to be sick," Tofu whined. The look on his face
spoke volumes as to his condition.
"Oh, God. No." Jeff covered his face with his hand.
"JEFFREY!"
"Okay, okay. I'm coming!" Jeff took one last look at the groom
before groaning as he walked to the door. <Nabiki's gonna kill me.>
Jeff stopped, his hand on the door knob, slowly took a few calming
breaths and looked apprehensively at Tofu before opening the door.
"Hi Akane. We're ready now. My you look lovely." Jeff tried to
smile and look calm. It wasn't working.
"I haven't changed yet, baka," she growled while scowling his way.
"Oh."
"What were you doing in here?" Akane pushed past Jeffrey and into the
room. "Daddy and Mr. Saotome are bringing Kasumi and I'm supposed to make
sure everything's ready."
Jeff shadowed Akane, pausing only to kick the empty sake bottle under
Soun's desk and out of sight.
"What's with Tofu-sensei?" she asked after getting a good look at the
barely breathing groom.
"He's just... nervous."
"Nervous?" Akane leaned in close to the doctor and sniffed. She
instantly recoiled in horror as she shot an accusing look Jeffrey's way.
"He's DRUNK!"
Only the sound of the fathers bringing Kasumi down the hallway saved
Jeff's life. Akane glared at Jeffrey while bending over for another look
at the doctor. Her second opinion confirmed her earlier diagnosis. The
groom was totally 'under the influence'.
"Jeffrey, what have you done?" Akane hissed through her tightly
clenched teeth as the fathers struggled to get Kasumi through the door.
"He'll be fine, Akane," Jeff hissed back through his own clenched
teeth while trying to smile to the fathers. "If we just leave him where he
is and don't let him talk, we'll get through this."
"What do you mean? How are we going to get him into the dojo?" Akane
punctuated her question with a wave of her arm.
"I'll think of something."
Akane, apparently, wasn't convinced as her response was a frustrated
grunt and a roll of her eyes.
"Is there something wrong?" Soun asked as he guided Kasumi to the
viewing pillow set in front of the window. Fortunately, for all concerned,
the curtains were still drawn closed.
"No," Jeff and Akane answered together with nervous smiles.
Soun just nodded and smiled through his tears as he and Genma
positioned Kasumi on the pillow. Akane quickly moved to arrange her
sister's kimono.
"Now Oneechan, you mustn't talk or turn your head. It'll.... it'll...
cause your makeup to crack. Remember what Nabiki went through," Akane
offered as she continued to shoot Jeff disapproving looks while making sure
everything about her sister was just right. She figured that if Kasumi
just sat quietly next to Tofu and didn't look at or try to get him to talk.
She *might* not notice.
Kasumi softly agreed without moving her lips and tried to assume the
'virginal-innocent' look she had been working on all week. Akane continued
to worry her kimono into place.
Soun wiped his tears and pulled Jeffrey aside.
"How did you know I wanted Tofu to hold the family sword at the
viewing?" he asked fighting back another round of tears.
"Well..." Jeff looked between Tofu and Soun several times trying to
formulate an answer. "Lucky guess?"
"You are a good son-in-law," Soun blubbered and he bowed respectfully.
"I know Tofu-sensei is in good hands."
<Tofu-sensei is snookered on his butt, sir.> Jeff smiled and returned
Soun's bow.
As the father's departed, Akane slowly opened the curtains to begin
the 'viewing'. Instantly, a flurry of flashbulbs went off as the gathered
crowd recorded the couple for posterity. This only made things worse for
Tofu. Now, instead of just having the room spinning, it was also flashing
like a strobe light in his eyes. Rallying all his martial arts training,
Tofu fought his nausea and battled to remain upright in the chair. This
was *not* how he had envisioned his wedding day. Besides, throwing up on
the bride right now would be considered a bad omen.
Akane motioned for Jeffrey to follow her out of the room. When Jeff
paused in the doorway to check Tofu once more, Akane concluded their visit
by grabbing the front of Jeff's yukata and yanking him into the hall.
Pressing him up against a wall, Akane hissed her warning.
"I can't *believe* you did that."
"Hey, it could be worse."
"How?"
"It could be raining."
Jeff's last comment was punctuated by a clap of thunder outside.
Slowly, both rolled their eyes skyward. Jeff finished by closing his eyes,
shaking his head and cursing his bad luck. Akane suddenly released him.
"I'm going to get dressed," she grumped while stomping away. "This
*better* all work out."
Jeff waited until she was up the stairs before responding.
"Uncute tomboy," Jeff grumbled lightly to himself.
"I heard that!"
Jeff silently grimaced and snapped his fingers in disgust.
"*That*, is one freaky chick," Jeff mumbled.
"I am not!"
That did it. Totally convinced that, somehow, Akane was tapping into
his thoughts, Jeff quickly evacuated the building, heading for the dojo.
As he left, he couldn't hear Akane giggling at her own cleverness. Kasumi
had been sharing with her youngest sister all the secrets of the old house.
One of those secrets was an unusual acoustical property where if you stood
in exactly the right place at the top of the stairs, you could hear even
the quietest conversation in the downstairs hallway.
As Jeff worked his way towards the dojo, he thanked whomever built the
covered walkway between the house and the dojo for their foresight. Nerima
was, for some reason, experiencing the oddest weather. Where it was
normally cold and frosty, it was much warmer and very rainy. As he wormed
his way around the milling guests, he couldn't help but overhear whispered
conversations about how unlucky Tofu and Kasumi were because the unusual
weather was, most certainly, a bad omen for the marriage.
To Jeff's surprise and pleasure, the first person he bumped into in
the dojo was the same Shinto priest who officiated at his and Nabiki's
wedding over two years ago. They shared a few chuckles about the oddness
of that ceremony and how the priest had been telling stories of the strange
wedding to all his friends for the last two years. Somehow, that didn't
make Jeff feel much better. Still, he had to admit, the wedding *was*
most... unusual, even for the Tendos. The priest talked like he was
relieved it was Kasumi's wedding as she seemed to be the most 'normal'
person in the Tendo family. Jeff started to say something about the fact
that the rest of the family would also be in attendance, but decided better
of it. No sense in creating a problem where there was only the potential
for a problem.
One of the assistant priests gently requested everyone take their
places so the ceremony could begin. As Jeff slid into his seat next to
Nabiki, he immediately sensed something was wrong. He couldn't put his
finger on exactly what it was, but felt sure it was something important.
Tofu was the first to arrive. By now, the sake had worked its way
sufficiently through him that the room was no longer spinning, just tilting
back and forth slightly. Everyone in the dojo noticed the tanto thrust
through the back of Tofu's belt without its scabbard. A soft buzzing broke
out as the older guests debated amongst themselves the significance of such
a weapon and the manner in which it was being carried. Tofu's family
concluded it must be some obscure shinobi tradition in honor of the bride's
family while Kasumi's family just figured it was something strange from
Tofu's side. As the groom staggered up to the priest directly in front of
the Lawrences, Jeff covered his face and shook his head; totally missing
Akane's glare.
As Kasumi was escorted before the priest, she looked exactly as one
would instruct a potential bride to look. Everything was perfect. She
bore the heavy wedding kimono in such an expert manner as to suggest she
had been in training for some time for just this moment. Her enigmatic
smile covered her pleasure at this dream come true wedding. She was
finally getting the man of her dreams, the fulfillment of her mother's
promise. If only she could figure out why he was bobbing about like a ship
in a storm.
Somewhere just prior to the sake sipping portion of the ceremony, Jeff
figured out what was missing.
"Where's Sodoshi?" he whispered to his wife.
"Akane's got her," Nabiki whispered back.
Jeff looked past his wife to where Akane was sitting.
"Akane's over there." Jeff pointed out to Nabiki. "Sodoshi's not
with her."
"Where's Sodoshi?" Nabiki hissed Akane's way. Tofu's family were
beginning to notice the intruding conversation by the bride's family.
Their scowls conveyed their disapproval.
"I left her with..." Akane turned to look at her father. "...
Daddy."
"She's fine, daughter," Soun blubbered while wiping his eyes. "I left
her in the care of Mrs. Suzuki."
Jeff was about to ask if the man had totally lost his mind leaving
such an energetic young child in the care of such an aged person when he
felt a tug at his sleeve. Turning with some irritation, he came face to
face with Mrs. Suzuki.
"I hate to bother you," she croaked causing the priest to interrupt
his prayer. Everyone in the room was following the conversation now. "But
have you seen your daughter. It would appear I've misplaced her."
"You what?!?" Jeff practically jumped out of his seat.
Before the old lady could answer, the priest leaned around the groom
and looked questionably at Jeff.
"Excuse me, but I'm trying to conduct a wedding here."
"I'm sorry, but we seem to have misplaced our daughter."
"You're kidding." The priest's dead-panned reply along with his
incredulous look adequately conveyed his disbelief. The 'Tendo Effect' had
struck again.
Tofu's mother just groaned out loud. *This* family was stranger than
even *she* could imagine.
"You go ahead," Jeff motioned to the priest. "We'll catch up later."
The priest, quite used to what passed for normal in the Tendo world,
just shrugged his shoulders and cranked up his next prayer.
"Suzuki-san, where exactly did you see her last?"
"Well, we were inside the house and she needed to use the toilet.
Well, you can imagine my surprise when she proved how she could use the
toilet by herself." Nabiki slowly covered her face with her hand and slid
a little lower in her seat in embarrassment - keenly aware that everyone in
the dojo was looking at her. "She really is advanced for her age. I
remember one grandchild of mine who took forever to get to that point. He
was in diapers until age 4. Wet the bed until he was 12."
"Suzuki-san..."
"Of course, I blame his mother for that. Never did like her. Too
keba-keba, if you know what I mean."
"Suzuki-san..."
"Then again, his father was no rocket scientist either. Took me
forever to get *him* toilet trained."
"Suzuki-san, where is Sodoshi?" Jeff tried to be polite but REALLY
wanted to know the whereabouts of his daughter.
"She was playing with the dog." She blinked at Jeffrey like it was
something everyone knew.
"WHERE?"
"In the hallway by the front door." Mrs. Suzuki blinked again like
she was being forced to reveal the obvious.
"You let an animal live with you in your house?" one of Tofu's family
asked in disbelief.
"That's nothing," Ranma chirped as he turned to address the speaker.
"Akane used to sleep with a pig."
Akane's reaction was swift and violent. With a sideways punch
delivered without even a shocked look, Ranma flew across the room, his body
impacting the far wall upside down. This just set off more huddled
conversation amongst the Ono family. And the priest prayed on.
"Yes, but where is she now?" Nabiki interrupted in order to steer the
general conversation back around to her daughter.
"That's what I came to tell you," Mrs. Suzuki sounded irritated at
having her train of thought derailed by all this questioning. "I can't find
her."
"WHAT?!?" Jeff and Nabiki yelled in unison. And the priest prayed on
- louder.
Just then the door to the dojo swung open and a wet, muddy figure
carrying a small dog came toddling up the aisle, dripping water and leaving
a trail of mud wherever she went. Stopping next to Akane, Sodoshi held out
the small muddy animal to her aunt.
"Ami-chan bad," she said seriously. "Played outside. Got all dirty."
Akane's mortified look was compounded when the little dog tried to
shake, dispatching water and mud in all directions and causing Sodoshi to
lose her grip sending the animal tumbling to the floor of the dojo. Only
Sodoshi continued to grab for the dog when it started to shake again,
driving off all the finely dressed guests, including Akane and Jeff.
However, Sodoshi's 23 month old reflexes weren't fast enough to corral the
slippery animal who took off through the gathered guests. Sodoshi, a
determined look on her face, set out in hot pursuit.
While all this was going on, the priest began waving his gohei,
attempting to drive away evil spirits from the ceremony. He looked like a
man trying to swat flies as he took a few extra swipes in Sodoshi's
direction when she ran past. To cover the noise Sodoshi was making, he
prayed even louder.
Kasumi and Tofu quietly went through the traditional ceremony, totally
lost in their own little worlds - her's a fairy-tale dream come true and
his trying to keep his cookies down as the room tilted back and forth.
Neither seemed to notice what was happening among the gathered guests.
Especially Kasumi to whom the whole ceremony was absolutely perfect in
every way. She noticed nothing but the priest and her sweet Tofu.
"Ami-Chan," Sodoshi called as she worked her way up and down the rows
chasing the small dog. She tried running and she tried crawling, neither
seemed to help her get past all the annoying people that were sitting
between her and her Ami-chan. The dog, however, had a slight advantage;
she could simply run directly under the seats of each of the folding
chairs. This caused guests to leap up off their seats, frantically
attempting to avoid getting any mud on their formal finery, and further
impeding Sodoshi's pursuit.
Nabiki quickly figured out where the pair were headed, took a short-
cut and caught her daughter right in front of the dojo doors. Akane,
completing the 'enveloping maneuver' by approaching from the opposite
direction, snagged the dog not far from there. Together, they carried
their 'catches' from the dojo, each holding their charges at arms length.
The priest shook his gohei especially hard at Sodoshi and company, clearly
indicating the four of them should depart the premises, taking any 'evil'
spirits with them.
"Bath?" Akane asked as she held the dripping dog away from her body.
"Bath," Nabiki confirmed with a look of resignation. She figured that
if they hurried, they would still be able to be on hand for the 'gifts to
the guests' part of the wedding.
In any case, Nabiki, Akane, and Sodoshi would spend the next hour
soaking in a hot furo while the freshly washed dog ran around the bath.

The wedding proceeded through the sake sipping portion. Tofu took
only a tiny sip of the sake he passed on to Kasumi. The Tendo's in
attendance nodded their approval. He had shown how much he would respect
Kasumi and her position in the family. In reality, that one sip almost
cost him his control, his stomach still rebelling at the abuse it was
forced to endure earlier.
When Kasumi went to reciprocate, she sipped a tiny bit of the sake and
passed it on to Tofu. With a look of panic, Tofu gulped and slowly raised
the cup to his lips. He'd go through with it, even if it would cost him
his dignity. The priest, sensing Tofu's dilemma, gently removed the cup
from the groom's hands and quickly went on with the ceremony. No one was
the wiser and Tofu was certainly grateful at being able to avoid the
embarrassment. Besides, the priest couldn't move as fast as he would like
in his heavy robes. Dodging the results of a sick groom could require just
that.
The ceremony wrapped up in traditional style, Kasumi looking the
perfect bride and Tofu the lost husband.
As the families began to mill about, Jeff worked his way up to the
priest.
"Another fine job," Jeff said handing the priest a special 'donation'
in an ornate envelope.
"Well, that's two down and one to go," the priest answered as he slid
the envelope inside his robes. "The last one will be a doozy."
"Ah, you've heard about their first wedding." Jeff nodded knowingly.
Nabiki had told him all about the first attempt at a wedding between Akane
and Ranma.
"Heard of it?" The priest held his cup out for Jeff to fill. "I was
hiding under a table throughout the whole thing."
"Oh."
"I can assure you that if it wasn't for my promise to their late
mother to officiate at the weddings of all three, I'd demand combat pay
just to be in the same room with Akane Tendo."
"Well, I'm sure the next try will be much better."
"Oy, I should live so long. I saw her reaction to her fiance today."
"She's just a little high strung, that's all."
The priest leveled his best skeptical look Jeff's way.
"Well, she's been talking to Nabiki and..."
The priest added a raised eyebrow to go along with his skeptical look.
Jeff got the picture. Combining the personalities of the two most
'reactive' Tendos into a single package could be dangerous to all parties
concerned.
Thus the wedding of Tofu Ono and Kasumi Tendo concluded. Jeff saw to
their dream Hawaiian honeymoon and Nabiki made sure her sister had
everything she would need for the trip - including Nabiki's personal cell-
phone number, just in case Kasumi had more... questions.

***** *****

Nabiki sighed contentedly as she stretched on the couch, pulling her
nightshirt up far enough to expose her panties. Jeff, ever aware of what's
going on around him, took advantage of the situation and reached over to
gently pat her little round bottom.
"Fresh!" Nabiki snarled in mock indignation. "You think just because
we're married you can take liberties with me."
Jeff slowly turned his head, bobbed his eyebrows, and snarled like a
wild animal. Nabiki protectively placed her hands on his face and acted
like a damsel in distress.
"Oh help. Help." she squeaked in a cartoon manner.
"Come here little girl and do as you're told," Jeff slobbered back
like a drunken sailor.
Nabiki countered with a raised pillow and a look of warning.
"Just what kind of girl do you think I am?" she asked while making a
face at her husband.
"Well, you're not your sister, that's for sure," Jeff chuckled.
"That's not funny, Jeffrey." Nabiki lowered the pillow and scowled.
"You thought so last week."
The two stared at each other for a few seconds before both snickered
together.
"It *was* pretty funny, wasn't it?" Nabiki laughed as she dropped the
pillow and collapsed into her husband's arms.
"Shush, dear and watch the rest of the movie."
Nabiki continued to chuckle as the details of Tofu and Kasumi's
honeymoon flashed through her mind. Especially the phone call.

***** [Last week - The Lawrence residence, Hawaii] *****

It was late at the Lawrence home. Sodoshi was watching a nature show
on the TV while her parents were back in the bedroom.
"Jeffrey, it doesn't fit like that," Nabiki gasped as she endured her
husband's sudden case of ineptitude.
"Look, you're the one who wanted..."
"I know, I know. Let's just get this over with."
Nabiki looking all hot and flushed, the sweat glistening on her
beautiful skin, grunted and strained at the effort. It just wasn't working
as easily as the book said.
Finally, Jeff gave up.
"I don't know, Nabs," Jeff moaned as he leaned back and stared at his
wife. "If you would just hold still, I could get it in."
"Oh sure, blame me," Nabiki grumped. "I'm doing the best I can. Why
don't you just hire someone to install this stupid closet organizer."
"Because I'm perfectly capable of installing it myself."
Nabiki just rolled her eyes.
<Men,> she thought. <They'll never admit when they can't do
something.>
It was then that the phone started to ring.
"Mom! Phone!" came Sodoshi's voice from the living room.
As Nabiki let go of her end of the shelf, it started to come away from
the wall.
"Nabs!" Jeff yelled as he threw himself against the metal structure
trying to keep it from falling completely.
Nabiki hesitated only a second before lunging for the closest end.
Together, they pushed the shelf back into place.
[*Ring!*]
"Mom! Phone!"
Nabiki just looked at Jeff in frustration. She couldn't let go of the
shelf or it would fall and she couldn't answer the phone because of the
shelf.
[*Ring!*]
"Mom! Phone!"
"Sodoshi, will you answer it, please?" Nabiki yelled back. "I'm tied
up right now."
Back in the living room, Sodoshi crawled off of the sofa with a sigh
of resignation and padded into the kitchen. Pushing a chair up to the wall
phone, she climbed up and picked up the receiver.
"Hai!" she chirped.
"Ah.... Hi. This is Sergeant Ralph See of the Honolulu Police. Is
this the Lawrence residence?"
"Hai!"
"Yeah.... Ah... Hi again. Is your mother or father there?"
"Mommy and Daddy in bedroom."
"Oh,..." Sgt. See blinked. "Well could I speak to them anyway?"
"No. Daddy has Mommy tied up in bedroom."
Sgt. See slowly lowered the phone and stared at it for a few seconds.
Surely, the child didn't mean what she just said.
"I...ah... really would like to talk to either your mother or your
father." Ralph tried to retain his composure, knowing full well all police
phone calls were recorded. He knew that no matter how hard he tried, no
one was going to believe this one.
"No, Mommy and Daddy busy. Bai bai." Sodoshi hung up the phone,
climbed down off the chair and pushed it back to the kitchen table.
Slapping her hands together like she was celebrating a job well done,
Sodoshi started for the living room and her TV show.
{*Ring!*]
"Sodoshi!" came her mother's voice from the bedroom.
With a visible grump and roll of her eyes, Sodoshi turned back around,
got the chair again, and climbed up to answer the phone.
"Hai!" Her voice sounding distinctly irritated.
"This is Sergeant Ralph See of the Honolulu Police again. I really
must speak with your father or mother right away. It's very important."
"Mommy say she tied up," Sodoshi insisted, her eyes narrowed into
angry slits.
"Please, just go to the bedroom door and tell your parents that the
police are on the phone and need to talk to one of them. Okay?"
"Okay," Sodoshi replied... just before she hung up the phone again.
Climbing down from her chair, Sodoshi hurried into her parents
bedroom.
"Who was it, dear?" Nabiki asked as she held the shelf in place while
Jeff put the last of the screws in.
"Somebody who want to talk to you," Sodoshi said with a shrug of her
little shoulders.
"Didn't you get a name?"
"Nope." Sodoshi climbed onto the bed to watch what her parents were
doing. It looked more interesting than that boring old nature show anyway.
Nabiki's next question was interrupted by the phone ringing again.
Sodoshi rolled her eyes and started to climb down off the bed. Nabiki
never liked missing phone calls, that's why she got a cell-phone in the
first place. Frantically, she looked at Jeffrey.
"Go ahead," he said confidently. "I've got it pretty well secured to
the wall."
With a happy nod, Nabiki raced after her daughter in an effort to beat
her to the phone.
Jeff stepped back to admire his work when the whole closet organizer
noisily collapsed into a heap.
"I don't understand it," he mumbled as he flipped the screwdriver over
his shoulder. "It looked so easy in the book."
Nabiki beat her daughter to the phone. Sodoshi protested her mother
doing 'her job' but quickly backed off when receiving one of her mother's
'looks'. As she pushed the kitchen chair back up to the table, Sodoshi's
pout of disappointment accompanied her mutterings of how unfair her mother
was being.
Jeff entered the kitchen in time to catch one of the strangest phone
conversations he'd ever seen his wife engaged in.
"Yes, this is Mrs. Lawrence," Nabiki said with a serious look.
"Yes..... Yes..... Yes......"
There was a long pause before Nabiki started to chuckle. In seconds
her chuckle became a guffaw which grew into almost hysterical laughter.
Jeff paused with raised eyebrows as Nabiki's laughter-spasming body
slowly slid to the floor.
"Good news, dear?" Jeff asked as he stood over his wife while she
rolled back and forth laughing so hard there were tears rolling down her
cheeks.
"Jeff, you won't believe this," Nabiki struggled to get out as she
held the phone towards her husband.
With a strange look of curiosity, Jeff took the phone.
"Hello?"
"Mr. Lawrence? This is Sergeant Ralph See of the Honolulu Police."
"*Sergeant* See? When did that happen, Ralph?"
"Last spring. Fortunately, nobody remembered the little incident two
years ago on the way to the hospital."
"Oh... yeah, sorry about that, Ralph." Jeff was momentarily
distracted by Nabiki rolling over and grabbing his leg while she continued
to laugh.
"The reason I'm calling, Mr. Lawrence, is that one of our patrols
picked up a young couple this evening who claim to know you."
"A young couple?" Jeff strongly suspected whom Ralph was referring to
but couldn't for the life of him bring himself to believe it.
"Do you know a... Tofu Ono?"
Jeff rolled his eyes and groaned softly.
"Did they get mugged or something?"
"Well... no. They were picked up this evening out at Wahine Park."
"Oh yeah. Very romantic. Nice place for an evening stroll in the
moonlight."
"They weren't exactly strolling, Mr. Lawrence. The officers who found
them said they were swimming in the lagoon under the waterfall."
"Well..., that's not so bad, Ralph. I mean, what have we got? Being
out of bounds in a park?"
"Mr. Lawrence, we caught them skinny dipping."
Jeff paused for a few seconds trying to fit what Sgt. See had said
into the Tofu and Kasumi he knew. It refused to fit. The expression on
his face caused Nabiki to explode in laughter again.
"Skinny... dipping." Jeff gulped. "As in..."
"According to the officers, they were..." Sgt. See paused to read from
the report. "Frolicking in the water of a public park in an unclothed
state."
"Swimming.... nude?" Jeff's eyes bugged out as he asked the question.
This only caused Nabiki to intensify her laughter again.
"Ordinarily, because they're tourists, we'd just warn them and send
them on their way. But the lady made such a big deal about being related
to you and all that we figured we better give you a call."
"I appreciate that, Ralph."
"If you would, could you please come down to the station and pick them
up. I'd sure feel better about releasing them if they were in your
custody."
Jeff assured Sgt. See that they would be down to get the Onos in a
little while *and* that they would try to explain some things to them. Of
course, first Jeff would have to peel his wife off the floor.
The ride to the police station was quiet, except for Nabiki's
continued giggling. After all Kasumi had done to convince everyone she was
practically prudish, Nabiki couldn't believe what the police claim her
sister did. It just wasn't Kasumi. Nabiki grinned mischievously. She
couldn't wait till they got to the station.
Sgt. See was waiting for them when they arrived.
"Thanks for coming down, Mr. Lawrence," he said as they shook hands.
"You don't have my sister locked up, do you?" Nabiki suddenly got
serious at the thought of her Oneechan behind bars with some of the low-
life she'd seen on TV. Fun's fun but subjecting her sister to that kind of
indignity was quite beyond the amusing.
Sodoshi clung to her mother's hand and scanned the activity of the
police station. Her little scowl clearly conveyed her dislike for the
place.
"No Mrs. Lawrence," Ralph sighed. "They're down in the lounge area
enjoying a cup of police coffee."
"That's 'Tendo-Lawrence'," Nabiki corrected with narrowed eyes.
Ralph nodded through his mistake before ordering one of his officers
to fetch the wayward couple.
For several uncomfortable minutes, Jeff and Ralph tried small talk
while Nabiki continued to deliver her most devastating 'look of warning' to
the nervous police Sergeant. Ralph got the distinct impression that if
anything was amiss with her sister, he would suffer, unlike last time, more
than a simple bump on the head.
Fortunately, Kasumi and Tofu soon arrived from the lounge, although
both looked miserable. Nabiki shifted her attention from the police
sergeant to her sister. She couldn't help but notice that Kasumi refused
to raise her eyes from the floor.
"Are you alright?" Nabiki asked seriously in Japanese.
"Hai." Kasumi's response was barely above a whisper. This evening's
activities had been all too humiliating for the Onos.
Jeff signed for his relatives and the Onos had to endure a short
lecture from one of the Japanese speaking officers. Sgt. See also gave
them a pamphlet designed for Japanese tourists that outlined proper
behavior while in Hawaii. All things considered, it was little more than
what Tofu and Kasumi could have expected from a Japanese police detention.
The ride home was when Nabiki chose to deal with her sister.
"Honestly, Oneechan, trespassing in a public park of all things."
Nabiki was going easy on her sister to start. She'd *really* let her have
it later, when she was certain how serious her sister was taking all this.
"Boy, just wait until I get *you* home."
Kasumi hung her head lower, feeling totally miserable. Married for
less than a month and already with a police record. She wanted to cry when
she thought of what her father would say.
Sodoshi, sensing her aunt's sadness, twisted slightly in her car seat
to rummage around in her bib-overalls. With a satisfied look, she produced
a cherished leftover from her Halloween candy, something she had been
saving for a special occasion; a little sucker. Holding it hopefully in
front of her aunt, Sodoshi tried to cheer her up the only way she knew how,
with candy.
Kasumi stared at the little offering as her eyes began to tear again.
With a welcome, sad smile, Kasumi hugged her little niece as best the car
seat would allow. Sodoshi's little arms eagerly wrapped themselves around
her aunt's neck. She really loved her Aunt Kasumi. Seeing her sad was the
worst thing Sodoshi could think of.
"Arigato, So-chan," Kasumi whispered. Sodoshi completed the
transaction by giving her a sloppy kiss on the cheek.
Nabiki caught Sodoshi's gesture and smiled quietly to herself. There
would be time for her to make her points later. Right now, Sodoshi was
giving her aunt the one thing she needed most; forgiveness. Nabiki
adjusted the visor mirror, like she was checking her makeup, and watched as
Kasumi and Sodoshi shared that tiny piece of candy, each taking turns to
lick and giggle like children.
<Kawaii,> Nabiki thought.

Once home, Nabiki put Sodoshi down for the night before joining her
sister in the living room while Jeff took Tofu on a brief tour of the
house, ending up in the kitchen.
Nabiki sat her sister down on the sofa and got her something cool to
drink. Joining her on the couch, Nabiki sat back and coldly eyed her
sister like a mother sizing up a child for punishment.
"Honestly, Oneechan," she started, her arms crossed and a firm look on
her face. "All those years of being a 'mother' to Akane and me obviously
taught you nothing. What ever possessed you to do such a thing?"
"It was Tofu's idea," Kasumi offered softly. "He said one of his
patients told him it was like an onsen only with waterfalls."
"Didn't it occur to you when you showed up and no one was around that
something was wrong?"
"Not really. America is such a big place. We just thought we had
lucked into an open pool."
"Oneechan," Nabiki covered her face, more to prevent Kasumi from
seeing her smile than out of exasperation. "Americans don't bathe in
public without proper attire, they don't have *those* kinds of onsens, and
you're just lucky the police officer knew Jeff."
"I know," Kasumi said in a tiny voice while she hunched her shoulders
and grimaced at the floor. This was the worst 'talking to' she had
received since she was a little girl. Coming from Nabiki made it hurt even
more.
"And another thing, what do you think would happen if someone stole
your clothes or worse yet mugged you?" Nabiki leveled her most serious
look her sister's way. "America is *not* Japan, Kasumi. You have to be
more careful."
Kasumi nodded obediently and braced for her sister's final admonition.
"What you did was: irresponsible, shameful, and totally unacceptable.
I have only one thing more to say." Nabiki's eyes twinkled with mischief
as she leaned closer to her sister. "How was it?"
Slightly startled, Kasumi looked at her sister's smiling face before
glancing at the floor again. As a grin slowly spread across Kasumi's face,
the pair started snickering.
"It was... *amazing*." The girls paused before collapsing together,
giggling. For the next half hour, the sisters compared notes and giggled
like school-girls as each tried to top the other with stories of their
'adventures'.

In the kitchen, Jeffrey was getting the other side of the story.
"I know it's late," Jeff said while rummaging around in the
refrigerator. "But I figure you could use one." Jeff held up a bottle of
his favorite Australian beer.
Tofu, standing in the middle of the kitchen, his back to the living
room, nodded self-consciously as he cast nervous looks over his shoulder
towards his wife. To Jeff, Tofu was acting far more nervous than a
newlywed should. Something was distinctly wrong. Jeff pondered the
possibilities while handing Tofu his beer along with an empty glass.
"I'm curious," Jeff started to pour his beer into a glass. "Just what
possessed you to try skinny-dipping in a public park?"
Tofu cast another nervous look over his shoulder and swallowed hard.
"Jeffrey, you've got to help me," Tofu hissed, his face a scene of
growing panic.
"What... are you talking about?"
Tofu looked quickly at Kasumi again then leaned in closer.
"It's Kasumi," he hissed again, his voice dropping to almost a
whisper.
"Oh, well, I kinda suspected this from the start."
"You did?"
"She comes from a very sheltered and proper environment. Give her
time. If you're patient and loving, she'll come around. There'll be
plenty of time for sex later."
Tofu stared at Jeff like he was crazy. With another nervous look over
his shoulder, he came clean.
"That's not the problem."
"Okay, then what is?"
"She's.... insatiable!"
Jeff froze while pouring his beer and stared at Tofu like he didn't
fully understand what the doctor just said. The overflowing beer glass
quickly brought Jeff back to reality.
"Kasumi?" Jeff looked at Tofu in shock, his mouth open, his scowl of
disbelief prominent as he shook the spilled beer from his hand.
"Jeffrey, tonight is the first time we've been out of our room in *two
days*." Tofu cast another nervous look over his shoulder towards his wife.
"You have no idea what it's like. Every morning, every afternoon, every
night, Jeffrey I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. I need my sleep."
Jeff slowly leaned over to look around Tofu at Kasumi. He tilted his
head slightly as he stared at the demure, proper, chaste-looking young lady
seated on his sofa. Shaking his head in disbelief, Jeff pointed to the
living room.
"That Kasumi?"
Tofu nodded nervously. Jeff again leaned over to look at the proper
looking young lady in his living room. She didn't *look* like a
nymphomaniac.
"What did your wife say to her?" Tofu hissed angrily.
"What... where.... when?"
"Kasumi was fine before she talked to Nabiki the day of the wedding,"
Tofu moaned.
"Ah..." Jeff was finally getting the picture. This was all Nabiki's
doing. Nabiki had told Jeff about the little talk she had with her sisters
up in her old room a couple of hours before the wedding. He knew how she
could really 'lay it on thick'. Still, Jeff found it hard to believe that
Nabiki just talking to her sister could cause all this trouble.
"I can't keep up with her."
"I see..."
"She's going to kill me on the honeymoon."
"Oh, surely not..."
"And when we get home, not even the clinic will be safe."
"For what?..."
"I can't live like this, Jeffrey!" Tofu grabbed the front of Jeff's
shirt.
"Couldn't you just enjoy it while it lasts?" Jeffrey carefully pried
the doctors hands from his shirt. "Maybe she really, really wants to get
pregnant. You should have seen the look on her face when Nabiki had the
first baby in the family."
Tofu paused to consider what Jeff just said. Perhaps it *was* due to
Kasumi's need to have a baby as quickly as possible.
"Besides, doesn't every husband want a perfect 'mommy' outside the
bedroom and a perfect 'whore' inside?" Jeff took a drink of his beer while
slyly looking at Tofu. "Sounds to me like you have a problem most other
men would gladly trade you for."
"Jeffrey, she wants to do it *everywhere*." Tofu's voice almost
became loud enough to attract the attention of the ladies in the living
room.
Jeff paused to consider his brother-in-law's last pronouncement.
That *could' explain the skinny-dipping incident.
"So who's idea was it to swim in Wahine Park?"
"Well.... mine." Tofu looked sheepishly at the floor at having to
admit the whole escapade was his responsibility.
"You sly rascal, you." Jeff leaned over to look Tofu in the eyes.
"And all the time I thought it was Kasumi's doing."
"No, it's not like that.... really." Tofu looked miserable trying to
explain the, obviously, complicated situation to his brother-in-law. "One
of my patients, a frequent traveler to your country, insisted there were
places in America where... such things are possible. He insisted that here
in Hawaii was one such place where honeymooning couples could... you know,
in a native setting... in a lagoon... under a waterfall... like in the
movies."
Jeff leaned back against the counter and took another drink of his
beer. This was getting weird. Not even Nabiki would think of something
like this. What Tofu was describing was the cross between a 'nude beach'
and a love hotel.
"I mentioned it to Kasumi..." Tofu paused to shake his head. "Only as
a way of getting out of that hotel room."
Jeff leaned over once more to look at the pleasantly smiling Kasumi.
No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't imagine Kasumi in such a
situation.
"It was supposed to be romantic." Tofu gobbled down more of his beer.
"Instead, it was frightening. I mean, it was dark, there was absolutely no
one else around, and the water was cold."
"And that's when you got caught."
"Well, no. First, Kasumi stuck a flower behind her ear, took her
clothes off in the parking lot, and yelled something about 'being free'
before she jumped naked into the water." Tofu looked even more miserable
than before.
Jeff took another drink to hide his grin while thinking about his
sister-in-law, stark naked, doing exactly the things Tofu was describing.
"Well... nothing lasts forever. I'm sure she'll calm down once you
get back home."
"But what if she doesn't?"
"I'll have Nabiki talk to her again."
Tofu's eyebrows bobbed up from behind his glasses. Obviously, Jeff's
suggestion was less than he hoped for.
"Okay," Jeff added. "I'll have Nabiki tell her to calm down."
"Thank you." Tofu actually sounded relieved. To him, Nabiki was the
cause of all this. If she would simply explain herself better, everything
would get back to normal.
"You want to spend the night here? Perhaps she won't try anything
with Sodoshi in the house." Jeff almost choked on the suggestion.
Obviously, subjecting Tofu to another night of unrestrained sex with Kasumi
was a kind of 'torture' Jeff almost found amusing.
Tofu gratefully thanked Jeff again but looked skeptical at the
prospect of Kasumi 'behaving' herself, even in the house of relatives.
Still, it *might* give him a chance to get a good night's sleep.
With some reservations, Jeff talked with Nabiki and the newlyweds were
given the guest room at the end of the hall. Nabiki bid her sister
goodnight with a stern warning.
"Now Oneechan, I want you to behave yourself in my home as I would in
yours."
Kasumi shyly bowed her agreement before following, in an almost
traditional way, her husband down to their room for the night.
As Nabiki turned for her own room, Jeff gently cupped her buttocks and
tried to pull her to him.
"Jeffrey," Nabiki warned with one of her 'looks'. "Let's not give
them any ideas."
"Pooh." Jeff crossed his arms and pouted. "Tofu gets all the fun."
"There's plenty of time for that after they leave," Nabiki cooed as
she pinched his cheek playfully. "Now, let's go to bed and get some
sleep."
Once in bed, Jeff figured the excitement was over for the evening.
That's when it started.
At first it was just a giggle coming from down the hall. Then, a gasp
loud enough for even Nabiki to hear. Nabiki rolled over and supported her
head on her hand while she looked at her husband and slowly shook her head.
"That man needs a cold shower."
"What do you mean Tofu? I heard it was Kasumi," Jeff protested.
Nabiki's next statement was cut off by the sound of a female groan
from out in the hallway that conveyed such pleasure it made both Jeff and
Nabiki uncomfortable just hearing it. Soft footsteps confirmed the hallway
couple's destination.
"They're headed for... the bath," Nabiki hissed.
"The furo," Jeff whispered back.
"They better not..."
"It looks like your sister is still on hormone overload...."
"Hey! It's not my fault."
"You're the one who told her about the birds and the bees. What, the
hell, did you say to her?"
"Honest, only the basics."
"For... what? A porno movie?"
"I just didn't want her to have as lousy a honeymoon as I did."
Jeff's stunned look caused Nabiki to amend her statement.
"I was referring to Sodoshi Tanaka. Remember? She was stalking me
everywhere we went. I *couldn't* enjoy the honeymoon because of that."
She reached out and gently stroked her husband's cheek. "Besides, I *did*
make it up to you."
Nabiki's sly grin was interrupted by a slash coming from down in the
bath.
"Ka-soo-mee!" Nabiki hissed like an angry snake.
"Sounds like they're picking up where they left off at the park."
"Oh, pooh, now I'll have to clean the furo in the morning."
They listened a few minutes more to the giggles and sounds of obvious
love-making coming from the family bath.
<Is it me or is it getting hot in here?> Jeff nervously queried
himself as he slowly slid the covers off his legs.
<Honestly, Oneechan,> Nabiki thought as she glared the direction of
the bath and slowly undid the top of her gown. <In *my* furo, of all
places.>

***** *****

The memory of the sounds of that night had their usual effect on
Nabiki. Slowly, she turned her head away from the movie credits scrolling
across the screen of the TV and gently began to nuzzle Jeff's chest. She
loved the feel of his chest. It was one of the reasons she fell so hard
for him in the first place. So broad and firm, she loved the feel of the
muscles as they moved. She especially loved the lack of hair. Like most
Japanese women, she found lots of chest hair distasteful.
Nabiki kissed her way across his chest and up under his chin,
relishing the feel of their bodies pressed together. He reacted in the
usual manner, his strong hands gently supporting his wife as she amorously
trekked her way up his body. By the time she reached his face, she had
worked herself into her usual sexual frenzy where only one thing could
satisfy her. Jeff was about to provide that 'relief' when a tiny noise
from the hallway caused them to freeze in place.
Jeff and Nabiki stared into each other's eyes for several seconds
before slowly turning their heads, Nabiki having to lean over slightly, to
see what caused the noise.
Standing in the hallway was Sodoshi, wearing her little 'Sailor Moon -
Hotaru' nightshirt, carrying her stuffed 'Mr. Kitty', and rubbing her eyes.
"What's the matter, sweetheart?" Nabiki gently asked, her face slowly
dissolving into a motherly smile. Jeff had to admit, she was doing pretty
well at controlling her voice, in spite of her still obvious sexual flush.
"Thirsty," Sodoshi lightly whined as she continued to rub her eyes
between squinting attempts to see in, what seemed like to her, the brightly
lit room.
"I'll get it," Nabiki offered after a final kiss on her husband's
cheek. Climbing off of the couch and stretching her long, beautiful legs
in a cat-like manner, Nabiki padded bare foot into the kitchen to fetch
Sodoshi's water.
Sodoshi wasted no time in scrambling on the warm couch and taking her
mother's place next to her father. Jeff had already put the movie into
rewind and changed to a nature channel that was showing a mother bear and
her cubs. Sodoshi hugged Mr. Kitty and snuggled comfortably against her
daddy to watch the show. Late night TV was her favorite 'treat'.
When Nabiki returned from the kitchen, she found her place on the sofa
taken by her daughter. Handing the tiny glass to Sodoshi with an
exaggerated smile that covered her obvious irritation at being displaced,
Nabiki retired to a chair off the end of the sofa where she crossed her
legs and supported her chin in the palm of her hand, staring at her
daughter. She didn't look happy.
Sodoshi sensed this and readjusted her position so there was room on
the sofa.
"Mommy sit here," Sodoshi insisted while pointing to the spot right
next to her.
A slow smile spread across Nabiki's face as she looked at her tiny
daughter. The smile dissolved into her typical sardonic grin as she stood,
smoothed her nightshirt like a short skirt and slowly walked like a model
over to the sofa. Sodoshi giggled behind Mr. Kitty.
"Thank you, Miss Sodoshi," Nabiki said with a slight bow. Sodoshi
giggled again. She liked when her mother did these silly little things.
She wished her mother would do them more often.
Sitting demurely next to her daughter, Nabiki flashed her 'vacant
Kasumi' look Sodoshi's way. Sodoshi, however, only scowled her answer.
"No Mommy. Like before. Legs up *here*." Sodoshi patted the surface
of the sofa.
Nabiki grinned at her husband who just shrugged his shoulders and
smiled back. With her tongue peeking out from between her lips to show her
effort, Nabiki carefully repositioned herself so she was seated the way
Sodoshi wanted; her legs tucked under her, her body leaning towards her
husband. Jeff extended his arm and gently gathered his wife who leaned
over further so that she could rest her head on his shoulder. Almost
absently, Nabiki's free hand found her daughter's head and she lovingly
stroked her daughter's hair who was now seated comfortably between her
parents. Sodoshi sighed happily. She liked sitting like this.
"I love you, Nabs," Jeff murmured as he bent his head to kiss his
wife.
"And I love you, Jeffrey." Nabiki met her husband half-way, their
lips gently caressing directly over Sodoshi's head. Jeff's hand lightly
stroked his wife's hair and shoulders as he deepened the kiss. Their
romantic evening might have been aborted but he was determined to make sure
Nabiki knew he loved her unconditionally.
Sodoshi, watched all this by looking directly up for a few moments.
The sight of her parents so much in love was exactly what she hoped to see.
She liked to see her parents holding and kissing each other. It gave her a
warm and cozy feeling. With another sigh, Sodoshi smiled contentedly,
snuggled against her mother's warm body, and fell to asleep.