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[Ranma][FanFic] Enemy of Women

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Apr 17, 2000, 3:00:00 AM4/17/00
Enemy of Women
by Kwokinator

Women. Ha! If you look up the word "women" in the dictionary,
it'll say "gullible idiots" or "suckers". They're suckers for a pretty
face, a great body and lots of skill. Which is of course, where I, the
great Ranma Saotome, come in.

Women are such idiots. All I need to do is walk around looking
good, fight somebody once in a while, make a token effort to protect
them, and they'll be flocking towards me. Every female I've met fell
in love with me after not more than a few months. The Sailor Senshi
back in Juuban (I'm still suprised at how horny Ami was), that Lum girl
in Tomoboki (have to go back someday. Boy was she good in bed or
what!), those Masaki women (Washu is seriously nuts), the Knight Saber
girls (lemme tell ya, Priss was a WILD ride), even the lesbian, Akane,
fell for me. We haven't done it yet, but that's easily solved. I can
feel her slowly dissolving into my charms. Pretty soon she'll be all
over me like the other girls.

Then there's the "Ranma Saotome Appreciation Association" all
over the country. They think I don't know about them, but I do. They
meet at Tokyo Tower every weekend, trying to find a way to get me in
the sack with them again. Fat chance. I never do a woman twice.
Their first time is always their best time. They're just not that
exciting after losing it. But they never get tired of me. Their motto
is "Once You've Had Ranma in Bed, You Don't Go Back". And these women
actually don't stop at Japan either. They travel all over the world to
try and find me. All they end up doing is spreading my reputation even
farther. Last time I went to China, The RSAA has already been there,
and boy, once the women heard my name, they were a bunch of potato
chips. Free-to-Lay. Sure they've heard about how good I am, but
nothing compares to the real thing. After all, I'm Ranma Saotome.

Maybe I'll go to the States next time. I heard that Madonna's
pretty good in bed. Sure, she's no virgin, but a hot body and her fame
more than make up for it. After doing her, I'd be famous all over the
US. Just think of the women who'll hear my name, just waiting for me
to take them, to be their first.

Author's Notes
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