[Ranma][FanFic] The Surprise Announcement
micha...@hotmail.com
infringement is intended.This fic contains some sexual dialogue;but
nothing serious.As with many of my fics,I came up with this fic while
at work;though this fic was inspired by at least 2 other fics(by other
authors).This is my first attempt at a darkfic,so please be gentle.
"The Surprise Announcement"(A Ranma 1/2 Fanfic),by Mike Rhea
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Akane,Nabiki,Kasumi,Souun,Genma,Happousai,Tsubasa,and Konatsu were
all gathered the Tendou Doujou.They were all trying to make sense of a
crisis that had struck them all at the same time.
It had been 4 months since another verbal confrontation between Ranma
and Akane blew Nodoka Saotome's patience.That fateful day(about 2 weeks
after the failed wedding),she severely criticized both Akane's brutal
treatment of Ranma and her lack of domestic skills.Additionally,she
berated both her own husband and Mr.Tendou for not only condoning it,
but also failing to stop it.Immediately following that outburst,Nodoka
not only stormed out of the doujou in the direction of Ucchan's
Okonomiyaki(carrying a couple of backpacks),but also took Ranma with
her.Not only have those 2 been missing since;but also,to further
complicate the matter,Ukyou has also been missing.In fact,Konatsu has
been very suspicious about the matter;since on that fateful day,just
hours after both Nodoka and Ranma arrived at the okonomiyaki-ya,Ukyou
informed the drag-queen ninja that he would no longer be needed
anymore.The following day;Ranma,Ukyou,and Nodoka all suddenly vanished.
A sign at the door of the restaurant stated that the owner was "on
vacation indefinitely."It wasn't until a couple of days later when
Konatsu informed the Tendous that the three were together the night
prior to the sudden disappearance(and has taken up temporary
residence at the Tendous' since);though Akane had been suspicious
about it since the day after Nodoka's outburst,when she noticed that
both Ranma and Ukyou were absent from their classes.Tsubasa,on the
other hand,wasn't aware of the crisis until last week.Though they were
also similarly concerned,Cologne and Shampoo opted to stay out of this.
Hiroshi,Daisuke,Yuka,Sayuri,and Miyo were all similarly concerned also.
On the other hand,the Kunou siblings,Tatewaki and Kodachi,were up to
their usual assumptions:that the pig-tailed goddess and "Ranma-sama"
were kidnapped and enslaved by the "evil sorcerer" Ranma and "the
pig-tailed harlot,"respectively.Mousse,however,was probably the least
concerned about Ranma's and Ukyou's disappearance,since he knew that
Shampoo wasn't with them.
A couple of minutes later,the mail had arrived.It was a postcard from
Ryouga,and Akane was the first to read it.What she read was not
encouraging:Ryouga had sighted Ranma and Ukyou together(holding hands,
in fact)entering a couples-only hot spring near Beppu just a couple
of weeks ago(when the eternal lost boy mailed the postcard).Everyone
that was present at the Tendou residence desperately hoped that the
info that they got from Ryouga was false.
Just a few moments later,someone knocked on the door.
"Is anybody home,"inquired a familiar voice.
The entire Tendou family,as well as Genma,got very nervous upon hearing
the familiar voice of Nodoka Saotome.She promptly entered the doujou;
and was followed by Ranma,Ukyou(who not only was holding hands with
Ranma and wearing a dress instead of her usual boy-like okonomiyaki
seller's clothing,but also had a slightly protuberant abdomen that was
of serious concern to the Tendous as well as the drag queens),and an
old bearded man in an okonomiyaki sellers's uniform who was actually
Ukyou's dad.Akane could have called Ranma a jerk on the spot,but
didn't because she had lost Nodoka's respect and support(and as a
direct result,was now powerless).
"Attention,everyone,"said Nodoka."We have a very important
announcement.I'll now leave it to Ranma and Ukyou."
"First of all,with the blessing of both her dad and my mom,Ucchan and
I wed 3 weeks ago,"added Ranma.
Genma,Tsubasa,Konatsu,and the Tendous gasped in horror,but that was
just the beginning of the unfortunate news that was being inflicted
upon them.
"Second of all...,"added Ukyou."...since I lost my virginity to
Ran-chan 3 1/2 months ago and have been sexually faithful to him since,
I'm just over 3 months pregnant with our first child."
"Additionally...,"continued Nodoka as she turned in the direction of
Akane."...I wasn't the intended target of Ukyou's attack at the failed
wedding attempt,Akane.She was justifiably going after you,and I don't
blame her one bit."
"Lastly...,"added Mr.Kuonji."...though he wasn't present at the
'wedding,'Genma Saotome,despite stealing the dowry,helped make this
marriage possible a dozen years ago..Ranma may have been too young at
the time;but not only has he since realized how he was raised by a
gimp,but also wishes you hadn't inflicted that dirty deed upon both
him and his eventual spouse."
"Also...,"added Nodoka."...it's your fault that not only does Ukyou-san
cross-dresses,but also that Ranma was too powerless to be a 'man among
men' because you wrongly spoiled Akane.Now that he's re-trained with
both me and Ukyou-san,not only is he now a true 'man among men,'I now
hereby invalidate his engagements other than to the one he has now
married."
"Additionally...,"continued Ranma."...thanks to secretly obtaining an
emergency supply of Nan-nii-chuan water the last time we were all at
Jusenkyou,not only am I now fully cured,I'm won't ever change into a
girl again when hit by water!"
Ranma then turned to his wife(whom for over a decade,unaware of her
true gender,he mistook as a guy)and said "Ucchan,I know I should have
said this 12 years ago,but I love you more than okonomiyaki."
"I love you too,Ran-chan,"replied Ukyou.
Tsubasa then immediately stormed out of the doujou in disgust.Genma's
face turned very pale.Happousai,knowing that he'll have at least 1 1/2
less "pretty ladies" around,passed out as if he were going through
serious withdrawal symptoms.Then,as Nodoka(knowing that her son was now
truly a real "man among men" at last)and Mr.Kuonji watched in
satisfaction(and while Konatsu,Akane,Nabiki,Kasumi,and a now-powerless
Souun turned their heads and began sobbing),Ranma and Ukyou Saotome,
knowing that they were several months away from parenthood(and also
knowing that Genma has been paid back for his dirty deeds),engaged in a
very passionate kiss.
**Music:"Got To Get You Into My Life,"by Earth,Wind,and Fire**
THE END
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AUTHOR'S NOTES:As you may know,this latest fanfic was inspired by 3
other fanfics:Ukyou Kuonji's "Onion Tears,"Emperor Stephen Schlueter's
"Kasumi Holds a Press Conference,"and(to a lesser extent)Jack Staik's
"Kasumi's Surprise(Special thanks go out to those 2 authors for writing
those inspiring fics.).Additionally,this shockfic has been written in
response to widespread Usenet insults directed at my fics(including an
inappropriate remark suggesting that I cut off my hands so I can't
write,which I don't intend to do as long as I'm on this earth).Though I
originally came up with this concept fic while at work(and a few hours
after reading "Kasumi Holds a Press Conference"),it was the recent
flames that encouraged me to get this idea onto a Notepad file.BTW,if
there are any Ranma characters that I treat like hot potatoes with
poisonous spikes,they are Konatsu and Genma because they truly deserve
it!Even if it means ending up becoming the first Ranma fanfic author to
do so,I honestly would not mind seeing Konatsu get killed off in a
Ranma fanfic;because Konatsu/Ukyou is an even bigger no-no than Kunou/
Kodachi(No,I don't advocate incest anime pairings.)!Also,I suddenly
had the urge,for the first time,write a pregnancy into my Ranma/Ukyou
romances(though in the lemon "Take Me Out To The Bathhouse,"Ranma and
Ukyou ultimately conceived a child;and additionally either or both of
Ryouga's spouses have been pregnant in a few of my fics).As for those
people who desperately wish I'd stop writing anime fanfiction,don't
bet on it,especially when there's always a shortage of Ranma/Ukyou
fanfics.
Excluding flames,C&C are welcome.
You can find more Ranma and Ukyou fanfics(by myself and other authors)
on my page(the cabernet sauvignon of Ranma romance sites)devoted to
the Kenshin/Kaoru of Rumiko Takahashi fandom(seriously).
Mike Rhea
Webmaster Of The Ranma and Ukyou Pages!
http://rei.animenetwork.com/ranchan/
Ryouga:"BWAHAHAHA!How do you like THAT,Ranma!?"
Akane:"Just stay out of OUR way,okay?Tee-hee!"
-Ranma 1/2 Viz Graphic novel #8,chapter 5:"Love Letters In The Sauce"
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