[ranma][fanfic] Most Unlikely of Friends OVA 1
Wade Tritschler
Felix_Tr...@bc.sympatico.ca
trit...@mala.bc.ca
trit...@malun1.mala.bc.ca
trit...@malun1.mala.bc.ca
Pre-reading notes: Okay, if you haven't read "Most Unlikely
of Friends" do so because you won't really get what's going on if
you don't. If you have but it's vague in your memory let me refresh
you as to what has happened. Shampoo and Akane were given a
pair of strange magical bracelets that apparently caused them to
either dream about or temporarily enter another dimension where
they were friends since the age of 7. Here Soun is married to an
odd Amazon named Soon Li, Shampoo is disowned from her
Amazon family but has been adopted by Soun and lives with the
Tendos, Shampoo and Akane have been trained by Soon Li and are
now adept in two odd styles (Lightning and Wind respectively),
Ranma is now engaged souly to Shampoo (although he was
originally given the choice between her or Akane), *breath*Akane
has the cat curse, Mousse is uncursed and has perfect vision,
Shampoo has short hair, Ryoga and Akane are dating, let's see,
hmmm, Ukyo is presently having love troubles with Perfume (she's
the Amazon that basically replaced Shampoo back at the village but
she's definitely no Shampoo-clone), Mousse is working at
Ucchan's, what else, oh yeah, and Ranma and Ryoga are being
trained by their respective love interests in their respective styles.
phew. Lost yet? Yes, read the original story. No, okay then let's
continue. I've been working on this one for a while, not nearly as
long as the first however. The focus has been switched from Akane
and Shampoo to Ukyo, Mousse, Perfume and Kodachi (yes Kodachi,
I've decided to do some experimental writing with her before I start
another project with her). I've had some more pre-release input on
this one so hopefully it will be good. I desire to hear any
commentary from you so E-mail me, please! Burn me, praise me, or
anything
in between.
This sucker is still in quasi-script style as follows:
%Chapter info
(actions)
Character speaking: {tone, actions while speaking}<Chinese
speech> Japanese speech. *sounds* [thoughts].
Double line breaks are for radical scene changes and single line
breaks are for dreams, flashbacks, fantasies, etc.
Well, that's about it so prepare yourself for the pages, and pages,
and pages ahead.
Altered Destinies: Most Unlikely of Friends OVA 1
Troubles a' brewing
%Prologue
(The Japanese teenager by the name of Ukyo Kuonji walks down a
market street on her way home from school. Her usual assortment of
small throwing spatulas and the larger battle spatula are strapped
over her school uniform. She pleasantly waves to a street side
merchant as she comes to the entrance to Ucchan's and start to
unlock the door. A man walks up beside her as she finally opens the
door (not the same man from the jewelry store).)
Man: Hello miss.
Ukyo: Uh, hi. Here for dinner?
Man: No. Actually, I saw a number of hoodlums up the street and
thought it best to warn everyone.
Ukyo: Not that bunch again. Where exactly?
(The man points up the street.)
Man: About two blocks up.
(Ukyo closes and locks the door to Ucchan's then readies her battle
spatula.)
Ukyo: Thanks. I'll just go have a friendly little chat with them.
(Ukyo starts up the street as the man watches. He nods solemnly
then turns and fades from existence. Ukyo continues walking until
she hears a number of male voices over a wall.)
Male voice 1: Come on, hand over all your precious metals.
Male voice 2: Yeah, you don't want us to get mad.
Ukyo: {to herself}Jerks.
(Ukyo leaps up onto the wall and looks into an open lot to see four
presumably teenaged boys in stupid masks surrounding another
figure. The figure has extremely short brown hair and is wearing a
dirty red and black Chinese outfit. Ukyo looks closer and discovers
the figure is a teenage Chinese girl who is cowering against the
wall. The boys close in slightly and the girl says something
fearfully in Chinese then attempts to backup. When she presses
against the wall she looks about frantically then falls to her knees,
covers her face, and starts to cry.)
Boy 3: Hey man, you made her cry.
Boy 4: {sarcastically}Yeah, way to go!
Ukyo: You fellas are going to be the ones crying in a minute.
(The four boys spin around to see Ukyo. The girl looks up
cautiously and teary eyed as well.)
Boy 2: {fearfully}Oh shit! Not her again!
Boy 3: {fearfully}Ahh, we didn't do nothing!
(Ukyo jumps down to be in front of them.)
Ukyo: Oh, so you did do something.
(The boys scream out in fear and scatter. Ukyo swings around her
battle spatula and swats one of the retreating boys in the rear before
he escapes. Ukyo watches with a smile as the boys leave her view
then starts to turn to the girl but finds the girl wrapped around her
waist babbling frantically in Chinese and crying.)
Ukyo: Hey, I'm not going to hurt you.
(The girl stops babbling and looks at Ukyo in fear. Ukyo drops her
battle spatula to the ground and holds up her hands passively.)
Ukyo: See, I'm here to help.
(The girl looks confused for a second, sniffles then releases Ukyo
and slowly get to her feet. Ukyo gives the girl a pleasant smile and
the girl returns a nervous one.)
Ukyo: Do you speak any Japanese?
(The girl looks blankly at Ukyo.)
Ukyo: Guess not.
(Ukyo reaches out and takes the girl's hand. The girl is startled for
just a second but then relaxes.)
Ukyo: Come on.
(Ukyo leads the girl out of the lot, picking up and storing her battle
spatula on the way. The girl lets Ukyo lead her back to Ucchan's
where she waits patiently as Ukyo opens the door and then follows
Ukyo inside. Ukyo directs the girl to a chair by the grill then moves
behind said grill and starts it up. The girl watches Ukyo intently as
Ukyo starts cooking up an okonomiyaki.)
Ukyo: You've had a rough day.
(Ukyo pulls out a plate, flips the finished okonomiyaki onto it and
places it before the girl.)
Ukyo: Here, on the house.
(The girl looks at the food questioningly, back up a Ukyo who gives
her a friendly smile, then cautiously takes the okonomiyaki in her
hands. She gives Ukyo another look then slowly takes a bite. Ukyo
smiles and the girl smiles back, less nervous this time, and continues
eating.)
======================================================
(Ranma-kun comes up to the entrance of Ucchan's and enters. Inside
Ukyo is serving a large crowd as the girl watches her dreamily from
a table in the corner.)
Ukyo: Ranchan! Come on in!
(Ranma-kun nods then sits down at the grill. In mere seconds Ukyo
places a plate of okonomiyaki in front of him then returns to her
other customers.)
Ranma: Thanks Ucchan.
(As Ranma-kun eats his meal he continually looks over at the girl,
getting more confused by the second. Once finished he turns his
attention to Ukyo.)
Ranma: Hey Ucchan, who's the girl?
Ukyo: Actually, I haven't a clue. She was being bullied a little
earlier so I gave her a free okonomiyaki to cheer her up. Now she
won't leave.
Ranma: Ahh, did you notice the way she's looking at you?
(Ukyo takes a look at the girl who shyly smiles and waves. Ukyo
starts looking worried.)
Ukyo: No, couldn't be. Ahhh, I don't need this.
Ranma: Haven't you talked to her?
Ukyo: No, she doesn't speak Japanese, just Chinese I think.
Ranma: Get Mousse over here then.
Ukyo: Guess I better.
======================================================
(A short time later Akane is walking up the street by Ucchan's when
she hears a bike bell and turns to see Shampoo, on her bike, coming
to a stop just behind her.)
Akane: What you doing Shampoo?
Shampoo: Ukyo call. Say need someone speak Chinese. Shampoo
only one available.
Akane: What's she need some who speaks Chinese for?
(Shampoo shrugs then rides the remaining distance to Ucchan's.
Akane walks up beside her and the two enter. Inside, the crowd has
thinned slightly but Ranma-kun and the girl are still present. Both
Akane and Shampoo look at the girl for a long moment then at each
other.)
Akane: Is that-
Shampoo: Perfume, yes!
Ukyo: {slightly annoyed}Shampoo?! Why couldn't Mousse come?
Shampoo: He busy getting stitches from fight with Ranma.
Ranma: Still recovering is he.
(Shampoo notices Ranma-kun and looks overjoyed.)
Shampoo: {joyfully}Ranma, you is here too!
(Ranma-kun puts his arms up to fend of Shampoo impending hug.
Ukyo looks at this with annoyance while Akane frowns but then
turns away.)
Ranma: Shampoo, please, the girl.
Shampoo: Oh, ah, yes.
(Shampoo turns and walks over to talk with Perfume. Perfume
notices Shampoo and fearfully backs away. Shampoo says
something to Perfume in Chinese. Perfume seems suspicious and
responds. The two start talking. Meanwhile, Akane moves over to
the grill and sits down next to Ranma-kun.)
Akane: So, where'd you find her?
Ukyo: That stupid bunch of school punks were harassing her.
Akane: You didn't get into a fight with her did you?
Ukyo: No, of course not, why?
Akane: She's an Amazon.
Ukyo: You're kidding. That girl is an Amazon. She was in tears at
just the prospect of being hurt!
Akane: From what Shampoo has told me she's got a thing against
pain. Her name is Perfume.
Ranma: Perfume huh. Must be rough being from a village of
warrior women and you're super sensitive to pain.
Akane: I would suspect so.
(Akane turns to watch the two Chinese girls talking then she gets up,
walks over and joins into the discussion.)
Ukyo: Hmh. {pause}Akane and Shampoo are getting along rather
well lately. So, what's going on Ranchan?
Ranma: Hey, you know about as much as I do. Ever since last
week when I saw them at that restaurant together they've been
acting... nice to each other, or at least trying.
Ukyo: Hmm.
Ranma: Creepy huh?
(Ukyo nods in agreement then returns to her work. After a moment
Shampoo and Akane suddenly start giggling and come up to the grill
together.)
Ukyo: What's so funny?
Shampoo: {through giggles}Oh it... it... *laughter*
(Ranma and Ukyo look over at Perfume who just smiles and waves
again. They look back at Shampoo and Akane who finally start to
calm.)
Ukyo: All right, spill it!
Shampoo: {amused}You is so lucky Ukyo, you have new girlfriend.
Ukyo and Ranma: WHAT?!!!
(Everyone, looks at Ukyo briefly then returns to what they were
doing.)
Ukyo: What do you mean girlfriend?!
Shampoo: {amused}Perfume say she like you VERY much for help
before. She think you like her too.
Ukyo: WHAT?! But I... All I did was be nice to her. I'm not that
type of girl. You got to explain that to her.
Shampoo: Shampoo already try. She no listen, or maybe no
understand. Can no be sure.
(Ukyo rubs her eyes in frustration.)
Ukyo: I don't need this, Tsubasa is enough trouble! What's she
doing here anyway?
Shampoo: She say she run away from village. Take first boat find
and end up here. Very lucky.
Ukyo: For you maybe.
Ranma: Why would she run away?
Shampoo: What think? She big joke in village. Imagine, woman
who cry at slightest hit, very disgraceful.
(Ukyo suddenly stops rubbing her eyes and looks at Shampoo with a
bit of anger.)
Ukyo: {slightly angry}Hey, not everyone is cut out to be a martial
artist you know!
(Shampoo is startled by Ukyo for a second but then recovers and
after a moment reluctantly nods.)
Shampoo: Yes, Ukyo is right. Not all woman make good fighter.
(Ukyo seems surprised by Shampoo's response for a second then
shakes her head and looks at Perfume.)
Ukyo: Well, what in the world am I supposed to do about her?
Shampoo: Shampoo no know. Shampoo offer for her stay at
Nekohanten but she say no. Maybe she stay here?
(Ukyo considers for minute.)
Ukyo: *sigh*I guess so, but only for a while. I don't need some
weird girl chasing after me. I want you to make it perfectly clear to
her that I'm not interested. {pause}And if any of you breath a word
of this-
Akane: Not a word.
Ranma: Wouldn't think of it.
(Shampoo considers.)
Ukyo: Shampoo!
(Shampoo continues to consider then finally shrugs and nods.)
Customer: Ah, miss?
Ukyo: Be right there.
(Ukyo moves off to serve the customer.)
Ranma: You did tell her that Ukyo is a girl?
Shampoo: Of course. Shampoo is equally surprised. Thought
Perfume like men.
Akane: Guess she isn't too particular about gender. We were
bound to run into one of them eventually around here.
Ranma: {as he gets up}As long as she isn't after me.
(Ranma-kun leaves. Shampoo walks over to talk to Perfume for a
brief moment. Perfume gradually seems more and more
downhearted then finally nods as Shampoo starts to leave. Akane
follows after her.)
Akane: I wonder, maybe she knew in the other world too.
Shampoo: Maybe.
(Shampoo gets on her bike but Akane steps in the way.)
Akane: Shampoo, you still have the bracelet right?
(Shampoo nods.)
Akane: Look, there's alot of questions I have about those bracelets
and the other world. {pause}Do you want to try using them again?
Shampoo: But magic is all gone.
Akane: Maybe, we don't know that for sure. {pause}I know you
want to go back there Shampoo and I can't blame you. Why don't
we just try? It won't hurt any.
(Shampoo considers briefly then nods.)
Shampoo: Okay, Shampoo wear bracelet tonight.
Akane: Great.
======================================================
(That night Akane is yawning as she sits down on her bed. P-chan
sits by her pillow. Akane looks at the little pig then looks at the
bracelet of falcons on her wrist.)
Akane: Hmh, maybe now I'll be able to find out why I got so mad at
Ryoga last time.
(P-chan suddenly looks nervous causing Akane to turn her attention
to him.)
Akane: {concerned}What's wrong P-chan? Oh, you're worried
about that nasty old Ranma aren't you. Well, don't worry, if he tries
anything...
(Akane pounds one of her fists into the palm of the other then smiles
and pets the pig. It seems to calm slightly. Akane yawns again then
goes over to the door and turns off the light.)
======================================================
(Slightly across town at the Nekohanten, Shampoo is hauling the
unconscious form of Mousse up the stairs without much regard for
his condition.)
Shampoo: [Stupid Mousse. Why you always bothering Shampoo?
Can you no get point?!]
(Shampoo opens up the door to a bedroom and enters. Inside the
room a old ragged mat lays in the corner along with several piles of
all manor of weapons. Shampoo looks about the room briefly then
drags Mousse over to the mat and dumps him on it. She starts to
leave then stops and looks back at him for a moment.)
Shampoo: [Can you no see we no meant to be Mousse?
{pause}You be better off with other girl.]
(Shampoo eyes briefly turn to the floor then she turns and walks out,
closing the door. She walks down the hall and opens the door to
another bedroom. She walks inside and heads over to the wall
where a sword, inside it's scabbard, is hanging on the wall. She
pulls out two bondori and places them underneath the sword in a
case and heads over to the dresser. She opens the drawer, takes out
the bracelet of dragons and puts it on. She looks at it then smiles.)
Shampoo: [Akane right. Shampoo wish could go back.]
*sigh*[Almost wish could stay forever.]
======================================================
(Late that night Akane (P-chan by her side) and Shampoo are fast
asleep. The bracelets on each of their wrists begin to dimly glow.)
%End Prologue
======================================================
%Part 1
(Akane springs up to a sitting position in her bed then looks at her
wrist with the bracelet. She looks to the side to see Shampoo (short
haired) doing likewise in her bed.)
Akane: Did you-
Shampoo: Have dream, yes. Very strange.
Akane: Tell me about it. I didn't really like that.
======================================================
(Later Shampoo is inside Ucchan's talking with Mousse who is
examining a scroll.)
Mousse: <Yeah, here it is. It says here the bracelets can cause the
wearers to gain a friendship or value a present friendship more.
This dream about that other world must be the bracelets' way of
making you value your friendship with Akane more. This is the first
night you wore them together, isn't it?>
Shampoo: <Yes.>
Mousse: <Yeah, then that's it then.>
Shampoo: <Well, I didn't like it one bit. Will this always
happen?>
Mousse: <Don't know. If you don't wear them at night it
shouldn't.>
Shampoo: <Good. I'll tell Akane. {pause}It seemed so real.>
Mousse: <It was just a dream. Don't worry about it.>
Shampoo: <Maybe. {pause}Thanks Mousse.>
(Mousse nods as Shampoo turns and leaves. She looks up the road
to see Ukyo (dressed in a much more male fashion) walking down a
crowded market street towards the restaurant. Perfume (with much
longer hair) follows her very closely. Shampoo shakes her head
then walks off.)
Perfume: But is law-
Ukyo: Perfume, I'm sorry, I'm just not ready for marriage right
now.
Perfume: You no like me?
Ukyo: No, I... I do like you, it's just that I'm not planning on getting
married any time soon. Why don't you find yourself some nice
fellow from your village, like maybe Mousse?
Perfume: Mousse?! I no like Mousse! He arrogant, annoying,
chase after other woman and make fun of me.
Ukyo: That was a long time ago.
Perfume: Well, I no forgive him. Besides, I love you, not him.
Ukyo: *sigh*Perfume, trust me, we're just not right for each other.
Perfume: But-
Ukyo: No.
Perfume: *sigh*
(Ukyo turns and enters Ucchan's but Perfume stops outside the
entrance, bows her head sadly and returns the way she came. Inside
the restaurant Ukyo starts to ready the grill when Mousse (with no
glasses) comes out from the back.)
Mousse: No luck?
Ukyo: I don't think so. I wish she'd just give up.
Mousse: Not likely. Amazon woman are very persistent.
Ukyo: Hmm.
Mousse: I could go challenge her.
Ukyo: No. Ranma did that and she can only tolerate him. I think
she needs to like you first. If only I wasn't so nice to her when we
first met.
Mousse: Oh well.
======================================================
(Akane stands listening to Shampoo inside the Nekohanten. Soon Li
is cooking in the kitchen and Cologne sits waiting at a table.)
Akane: Hmm, so it was just the bracelets. I thought so.
Shampoo: But Akane, in other... the other world it was dream... a
dream too. How can we-
Akane: It was nothing but a dream Shampoo.
Shampoo: But...
(Akane seems momentarily indecisive but then looks determined.)
Akane: Let's not worry about it. It was just some stupid dream. As
far as I'm concerned it did it's job. I like it the way it is more than
ever. Now I'm just going to forget about it and you should too.
(Shampoo nods then starts to leave, exchanging a cold look with
Cologne on the way. As she steps out of the door and Akane returns
to serving customers Perfume sadly enters.)
Cologne: Well child?
Perfume: He say no.
Cologne: Then I see no further point in talk. Action must be taken.
Akane: You know, maybe if you just gave it-
Cologne: This is none of your concern Akane Tendo so keep your
opinions to yourself.
Akane: {muttering}Well, excussse me.
Cologne: Come, take me to see this man.
======================================================
(A short time later, back at Ucchan's (which is empty except for
Mousse and Ukyo) Perfume enters, somewhat fearfully, followed by
Cologne. Ukyo looks up from her cleaning of the grill and Mousse
tenses up. Cologne examines Ukyo for a moment, causing the
younger girl to self consciously withdraw a few centimeters.
Mousse slowly and cautiously starts to move towards Ukyo.
Cologne finally turns to Perfume and starts talking with her in
Chinese. Mousse suddenly stops, looks startled and somewhat
relaxes as Cologne turns back to Ukyo.)
Cologne: So, you are the... mate that Perfume has chosen.
Ukyo: Uh, look, like I told her, I'm not into a marriage at this time.
Cologne: You seem to think you have a choice in the matter.
Ukyo: Well, I think I do.
(Cologne smiles then hops up onto the grill and thrusts her staff into
Ukyo's chest, forcing her to the wall.)
Cologne: Then you are gravely mistaken. It is Amazon tradition
and law that Perfume marry you. You will consent to this marriage
one way or another.
Ukyo: I'm not being forced into anything lady.
(Cologne pulls back her staff and hops back to the ground.)
Cologne: We shall see. Perfume, come.
(Cologne leaves. Perfume starts to follow then turns back to Ukyo
with a nervous smile.)
Perfume: I very sorry about this.
(Perfume bows her head and sadly follows Cologne.)
Mousse: You're in big trouble.
Ukyo: Hmh?
Mousse: Well, ahem, ahh, it seems that the disguise isn't necessary
after all.
Ukyo: {surprised}WHAT?!
Mousse: Perfume knows you're female.
Ukyo: But I thought-
Mousse: I did too. Let me go check on that for a sec.
(Mousse walks into the back while Ukyo rubs her eyes. A man
comes in and walks up to sit next to the grill. Ukyo gives him a
courteous smile.)
Ukyo: What can I get you sugar?
Man: Give me one of those deluxes.
Ukyo: Coming right up.
(Ukyo starts up the grill and pours the batter on. Mousse comes out
of the back reading a book.)
Mousse: Oh brother.
Ukyo: What?
Mousse: Article 12, section 5, sub-paragraph 3, point 6 and I quote:
"if an Amazon female is defeated by an outsider female, but that
Amazon female is of different sexual preference, she may choose to
kill the outsider or to take the outsider as her mate."
Ukyo: You're kidding?!!
(Mousse hands the book to Ukyo.)
Mousse: Read it yourself.
(Ukyo looks over the book then bows her head in despair.)
Ukyo: Why me?! What'd I ever do to deserve this?!
Mousse: Just lucky I guess.
(Ukyo scowls at Mousse then starts to take the cooking okonomiyaki
from the grill with a spatula but suddenly withdraws her hand with a
yelp of pain.)
Mousse: {concerned}What's wrong?
Ukyo: {while examining her hand which has a slight burn on it)I got
burnt. How the heck did that happen?
(Mousse grabs a hold of the spatula (which is still on the grill) and
easily picks it up.)
Mousse: It's a little warm but it couldn't have possibly burnt you.
(Ukyo tries to touch the spatula's handle but again withdraws her
hand with a yelp.)
Ukyo: IT'S SEARING HOT! How can you hold that?!
Mousse: No it's not.
Man: Uh, could I get my food please.
Mousse: Oh, yeah, here.
(Mousse uses the spatula to flip the cooked okonomiyaki to the
customer then turns back to Ukyo.)
Mousse: See, it's barely even warm. I just don't... {pause}Wait a
second. Oh no. Come on. We got to get you to Dr. Tofu right away.
Ukyo: Why?
Mousse: I think Cologne used a pressure point on you.
======================================================
(A short time later at Dr. Tofu's clinic, Dr. Tofu just finished
examining Ukyo and is looking at an X-ray. Mousse stands behind
Ukyo.)
Ukyo: Cat's tongue?!
Dr. Tofu: I'm afraid so. You're whole body is now super sensitive
to heat. Even mild temperatures above normal room temperature
will seem like they're boiling to you. The burn is more
psychosomatic than real damage but that is nearly as bad.
Ukyo: How long does this last?
Dr. Tofu: It's permanent.
Ukyo: {extremely tense}No!! You have to be able to reverse this.
Dr. Tofu: I'm afraid not. This particular point is very hard to
correctly manipulate and I'm afraid I'm just not qualified. I could
give you a one time temporary fix but that's the best I can do.
Ukyo: {near breakdown}But... but... I can't cook like this! I can't
even get near the grill! What am I going to do?
Dr. Tofu: The only thing I can advise is to see Cologne and ask her.
Ukyo: Right, the ghoul, yeah.
(Ukyo quickly gets up and starts to run out of the clinic. Mousse
quickly chases after her.)
Mousse: Ukyo, wait!
Ukyo: What?
Mousse: She already told you what she wants, for you to consent to
marrying Perfume.
(Ukyo stops and turns to Mousse.)
Ukyo: But that's nuts! I can't marry a girl!
Mousse: Then what are you going to do?
Ukyo: I'll force her to fix this.
Mousse: Akane nearly died in a fight with Cologne and you expect
to beat her? I don't think so.
(Ukyo turns and starts to run off.)
Ukyo: I don't care! It's all that I have left and I'm not going to let
the old bat take it from me!
(Mousse shakes his head then resumes his pursuit of Ukyo.)
======================================================
(Moments later Ukyo rushes into the Nekohanten. Cologne waits
calmly at a table. Akane gives Ukyo a confused look.)
Akane: Ukyo? What are you doing here?
(Mousse comes in while Perfume comes out from the kitchen.)
Ukyo: Ask the ghoul!
Cologne: I see you discovered your little problem.
Ukyo: You better fix this right now or you're going to be in for a
hell of a lot of trouble!
Cologne: Is that so? Well, if you can defeat me I'll gladly undo the
cat tongue point.
Ukyo: Fine!
(Ukyo readies her giant spatula and rushes Cologne with a furious
charge. Cologne hops to the side and taps Ukyo in the back as she
passes sending her into the floor. Ukyo struggles to push herself
back up as Mousse moves over to be beside Perfume. Ukyo stands
up then sends several spatulas flying at Cologne. Cologne spins her
staff and deflect the incoming projectiles.)
Cologne: Is this the best you can do miss Kuonji? It's a miracle
you ever defeated Perfume.
Ukyo: Shut up!
(Ukyo attempts another rush but Cologne knocks her to the floor with
two quick staff thrusts. Cologne, in a blur of movement, knocks
Ukyo's giant spatula and remaining throwing spatulas away. Ukyo
flips to her feet then attempts a kick at Cologne but the old woman
counters with a blur of strikes that sends Ukyo flying through the
doorway and into the street.)
Perfume: {concerned}Airen!
(Perfume rushes out the door followed closely by Mousse. Cologne
shakes her head in disappointment then returns to her table. Akane
watches this all in confusion.)
======================================================
(Many hours later Ukyo groans and opens her eyes to find herself
bandaged and laying on her bed at Ucchan's. Before she can
manage to sit up Perfume suddenly hugs her fiercely.)
Perfume: Oh airen, was so worried! You is okay, yes?
Ukyo: {angrily}Perfume, let me go!
(Perfume withdraws in fear and Ukyo sits up.)
Ukyo: {angrily}How could you do this to me?! Don't you
understand, I'm not going to marry you!
Perfume: I is sorry. I no know Cologne do that. I no want hurt
husband.
Ukyo: Why do you keep calling me your husband? I'm a woman,
not a man.
Perfume: Thought you like acting as boy. I... ah... play along.
(Ukyo drops her face into her hands and shakes her head.)
Perfume: I is really sorry. {pause}I help you get cure if want.
(Ukyo looks up at Perfume suspiciously.)
Ukyo: Why?
Perfume: I no want you become mate through force.
Ukyo: Then tell Cologne that.
Perfume: I did. She no change mind.
(Ukyo drops her face back into her hands. After a minute Ukyo
looks back up at Perfume.)
Ukyo: Look, Perfume, I'm not like you. I'm not attracted to other
girls.
(Perfume looks at Ukyo in confusion.)
Ukyo: You do know that some people are only attracted to people
of the opposite sex don't you?
Perfume: I no understand. I know girl would prefer boy but if find
good-
Ukyo: Nonono, you may be like that but I'm not.
Perfume: How know?
Ukyo: Uh, I just do.
Perfume: Have ever given other girl chance? I be very good wife
for you.
Ukyo: I'm sure you could be a good wife but-
Perfume: Then give me chance. I show you I be good wife.
Ukyo: Perfume, you don't understand.
Perfume: {sadly}You no like me.
Ukyo: Nono-
Perfume: {depressed}I knew it. No one ever like weakling girl
like me. I going to be alone for rest of life! *sob*
(Perfume starts to break into tears.)
Ukyo: Nono, that's not what I mean! I do like you, just-
Perfume: {hopeful}You do?
Ukyo: Yes but-
(Perfume suddenly grabs Ukyo again in a fierce hug that knock the
air out of her.)
Perfume: Oh, you make me so happy. I show you be good wife.
Ukyo: {weakly}But-
(Perfume lets Ukyo go then rushes to the door.)
Perfume: I go find cure for you right now. I make you very proud.
(Perfume rushes out before Ukyo can respond. Ukyo looks down at
the floor in despair then starts rubbing her temples as Mousse comes
to the doorway.)
Mousse: Ahem.
(Ukyo looks up at Mousse.)
Mousse: I take it things aren't going so well.
Ukyo: I said I liked her and she jumped to the conclusion that I
loved her. Now I know how Ranma must have felt.
Mousse: You know, this is the 90s after all, you could give her a
chance.
Ukyo: Have you lost your mind?! I'm not like that! I'm not!!!
Mousse: Yeah, I know, just joking.
Ukyo: It's not funny.
Mousse: Sorry. Look, I can handle the restaurant for a while so
don't get worried.
Ukyo: It's not that Mousse. {pause}I had two driving forces in my
life, Ranma and my cooking. I've lost Ranma, I can't lose this too.
I can't take that. I just can't.
(Mousse walks in and sits down next to Ukyo.)
Mousse: Don't give up hope. Perfume said she'd help, so will I,
and I'm sure the others will too if necessary. We won't let her get
away with this, I promise.
Ukyo: Thanks.
Mousse: It's the least I can do for such a nice employer.
Ukyo: *small laugh*
======================================================
(The next day Ukyo is rushing through the rain on her way to school.
She stops briefly below a tarp in front of a shop and shakes out her
hair. A whistle causes her to turn and she sees Ranma-chan rushing
up the street with Shampoo-cat in her arms and several school bags
on her back. Following behind them are Akane-cat and Ryoga-pig
(otherwise known as P-chan in certain other worlds).)
Ranma: Ukyo! Can you give me a hand here?
Ukyo: *sigh*Yeah, sure.
(Ukyo takes some of the school bags off Ranma-chan then picks up
Ryoga-pig and Akane-cat when they get close enough. Together
with Ranma-chan they rush the remaining distance to the school and
stop just outside the washrooms in the school. Ukyo waits outside
as the others enter the respective washroom (Ranma-chan goes into
the boys washroom). A moment later Ranma-kun comes out.)
Ranma: I swear that weather man is dead when I get my hands on
him!
Ukyo: You should use umbrellas.
Ranma: Now there's an idea. {pause}How you doing?
Ukyo: Lousy.
Ranma: Hey, if you need any help clobbering-
Ukyo: What good would that do? I need her to fix this stupid thing
and the only way she'll do that is if I, stress I, beat her.
Ranma: Yeah, I guess that does pose a slight problem.
Shampoo: Ukyo will beat old hag.
(Shampoo (dressed in her school uniform) appears from the
washroom followed by Akane(also dressed in her school uniform).)
Shampoo: She is no perfect. Ukyo just need train.
Ukyo: Train?! I lasted a total of 10 seconds last time I fought her.
Shampoo: Shampoo has done worse and come back to beat
opponent, Ukyo can too.
Akane: Yeah, don't let that old hag get to you. She's human and she
can be defeated, admittedly not easily but it can be done.
Ukyo: I hope you're right because if you're not...
(Ukyo shakes her head and walks off. Ranma-kun, Shampoo and
Akane watch her go then Ranma-kun sighs.)
Ranma: This is nearly as bad as when I told her about my
engagement. {pause}What's taking Ryoga so long?
(Ranma-kun goes into the men washroom.)
Ranma (from inside the washroom): Ryoga, you idiot! That's the
bathroom stall! This is the exit! {pause}NO! This way!
{pause}THAT'S THE WINDOW!!! Ahh, come on!
(Ranma-kun comes out of the washroom with Ryoga (dressed in a
school uniform) in tow.)
Ryoga: Give me a break, I'm new here. I need time to get my
bearings straight.
Ranma: Oh please! We're late enough as it is!
======================================================
(Later that day Ranma-kun is sitting below a tree examining his
lunch. Shampoo comes over and sits down next to him. Ranma-kun
pulls out small plastic box and shows it to Shampoo.)
Ranma: What is this stuff?
Shampoo: Akane try... is trying a new recipe. Shampoo... I sure...
I'm sure it's good.
(Ranma examines the contents of the plastic box then takes out some
chopsticks and begins eating. After a moment he nods.)
Ranma: Not bad but why does she insist on trying new recipes
every other day.
Shampoo: She trying... is trying to broaden her horizons, as she
say... said.
Ranma: Her horizons are wide enough. Some of this stuff I'm not
too sure about.
Shampoo: At least you no... didn't taste her early creations.
Shampoo... I had to suffer through them for two months while... I
taught her to cook.
Ranma: Come on, it couldn't have been that bad.
Shampoo: Ranma, she once use...d salt instead of sugar to make a
cake.
(Ranma-kun gives a look of shear disgust.)
Shampoo: And that was after a month and a half of training.
Ranma: Amazing. {pause}You forgot to speak correctly this
morning.
(Shampoo scowls.)
Shampoo: {brooding}It just thought of gr... Cologne that make
Shampoo so mad!
(Ranma nods in agreement.)
Ranma: She can be quite the nuisance but she's been relatively civil
since the fight.
Shampoo: {brooding}Still can no believe she actually try kill
Akane. Is unforgivable!
Ranma: Well, the way I see it, if she-
Female voices: Lecher! Pervert! Get him!
(Ranma-kun and Shampoo turn to see a tiny little man, very old in
appearance, wearing ninja style garbs, and carrying a large sack
over his back, running from a large group of girls carrying various
crude weapons.)
Ranma: What the...
(Suddenly Akane leaps over the crowd and starts closing the gab
between herself and the old man. With a quick burst of speed she
manages to catch up and grab the old man and lifts him from the
ground. The crowd of girl surround her and the old man, and they
stare evilly at him.)
Akane: All right, you better have a good explanation for this.
Old man: Well, you see it's like this... ahh...
Girl in crowd: Let him loose Akane so we can cream him.
Old man: {excited}Akane? You're Akane?
Akane: Ahh, yeah.
(Suddenly Akane finds the old man embedded in her chest, between
her breasts.)
Old man: {excited}Oh Akane, it's been so long!
(Akane smashes the old man to the ground with her fist just as
Shampoo and Ranma-kun make their way through the crowd.)
Akane: {angrily}What do you think you're doing you old lech?!
Who are you?
Old man: {depressed}You don't remember me. I... I... I'm heart
broken. After all I did for you how could you forget me?!
(The old man breaks into tears.)
Akane: Do you know this man Shampoo?
Shampoo: No. Never seen before... him before.
Ranma: Okay old man, just who are you supposed to be?
(The old man suddenly stops crying.)
Old man: Why, I'm Soun Tendo's master of course.
Akane: Master?! You taught my dad?!
Old man: Most certainly did. Taught him every little thing he
knows.
Ranma: Hmmmm, that would probably account for Pop.
Old man: Oh, so you're Ranma are you, Genma's son. Hmmm
(The old man suddenly leaps around, examining Ranma-kun from
various angles and finally stops in front of him with frown and a
nod.)
Old man: Not too shabby. Genma has been doing his job after all.
Ranma: Could have fooled me. So, what brings you around...
What's your name?
Old man: You may refer to me as master Happosai.
Ranma: Yeah, whatever. What are you doing here anyway?
Old man: Oh, just thought I'd pay a visit to my old pupils. We
didn't exactly get to make a proper farewell when I last saw them.
(Ranma-kun looks up at the school clock.)
Ranma: Well, we got enough time to get there and back.
Akane: Fine, you two take him.
(Akane grabs up the sack which is lying on the ground and throws it
to the girls.)
Happosai: Hey, those are mine!
Akane: No they aren't. You stole them, now get going before we
decide to clobber you.
(Happosai reluctantly turns and starts to follow Ranma-kun and
Shampoo through the still very angry crowd of girls. Just then Kuno
flies over head.)
Kuno: I shall have vengeance Hibiki! I shall defeat your foul
magics and free the beautiful Akane Tendo once more.
Akane: Oops, forgot about that.
(Akane runs off in the opposite direction that Kuno is flying. A
short distance away Ukyo watches Ranma-kun and Shampoo leave
with Happosai then sighs and starts walking back towards the
school.)
Ukyo: [Not a chance in hell of those two breaking up anytime soon!
I can't believe my bloody luck! The man I fall in love with runs off,
then I find out he didn't even know I was a woman. To top it off I
never even had a chance at regaining him. Damn that... that... No,
can't blame her. Can't blame him either. Now this stupid, blasted
ghoul comes in. What next?! Why doesn't a meteor come in right
now and crush my skull?! At least then I finally get some peace.]
(Suddenly Perfume lands in front of Ukyo, startling her.)
Perfume: Ukyo!
(Perfume happily hugs Ukyo.)
Ukyo: Perfume, hey, do you mind! People are watching you know!
(Perfume releases Ukyo and smiles shyly.)
Perfume: Sorry, no mean embarrass you. Ahhh, have good news, I
find cure.
Ukyo: {excite}What? How?
Perfume: Is Phoenix pill. It give great heat resistance. With you,
restore normal resistance.
Ukyo: {excited}All right!! Where can I find it?
(Perfume looks down at her feet and scraps her shoe over the grass.)
Perfume: That is bad part. Cologne has it.
(All of Ukyo's excitement drains away to nothingness and she
slumps to the ground.)
Ukyo: {depressed}Great.
(Perfume kneels down on the ground to look Ukyo in the eye.)
Perfume: Not that bad. All Ukyo have do is take pill from Cologne,
not defeat.
(Ukyo considers this for a minute.)
Ukyo: That would be easier. Where does she keep it?
Perfume: No know, but Cologne make deal with you, if take amulet
she wear then she tell where Phoenix pill is, if can not you agree to
marriage. I is sorry could not get better deal.
Ukyo: How long do I have?
Perfume: As long as need but only get challenge once.
Ukyo: Grabbing some stupid amulet shouldn't be that tough.
Perfume: You no know Cologne. She very fast, faster than me. Is
tougher task than think.
Ukyo: Ranma beat you.
Perfume: He use... Grand Lightning Punch. Is fast technique, much
faster than Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken. Maybe he teach or
Shampoo, she know too.
Ukyo: Yeah, how tough could it be.
======================================================
(Later that day, at Ucchan's, Ukyo is on the phone in the back room.)
Ukyo: What do you mean you have problems? {pause}You mean
that old guy- {pause}You're kidding. {pause}What about
Shampoo? {pause}Yeah, but- {pause} Hmm. {pause}Well can't
she- {pause}I don't know if I can last that long. {pause}You sure
you can't? {pause}*sigh*Well, thanks anyway. Bye.
(Ukyo hangs up the phone and heads into the dinning area. Several
customers sit throughout the room, Mousse is at the grill cooking and
Perfume sits at an empty table. As soon as Ukyo enters Mousse and
Perfume both come to her.)
Mousse: Well?
Ukyo: Ranma has his hands full with that old man they met this
morning and Shampoo is having more troubles with Kodachi. He
figures a week at least until one of them will have enough time.
Mousse: A week, that's not so bad.
Ukyo: I can't last a week, I'm going crazy as is and this is just the
second day. In a week I will be hanging from the ceiling.
Mousse: Then we'll just have to improvise. Perfume, the Kachu
Tenshin Amaguriken, you know it right?
Perfume: Yes.
Mousse: Good, that'll have to do.
Ukyo: But Cologne knows that technique and she's even faster than
Perfume.
Mousse: Then we'll just have to modify it a little, but first you need
to learn it.
Ukyo: All right, what do I have to do?
Perfume: Grab chestnuts from open fire.
Ukyo: WHAT?!
======================================================
(A few days later we find Ryoga running down a market road. In
close pursuit is Kuno, bokken draw for battle.)
Kuno: Face the darkness of forever Hibiki! I shall defeat you and
end your rain of terror over my love!
Ryoga: Give it a break would you Kuno! [Geez, I wonder if this is
how Ranma felt when I was chasing him.] {pause}Ahh, hell with it!
(Ryoga suddenly stops and leaps into the air, drawing his umbrella.
He spins around, spins the umbrella then sends it spiraling at Kuno
with a wind beginning to surround it.)
Ryoga: UMBRELLA CYCLONE ASSAULT!!!
(Kuno braces for the attack but is blown off his feet and into a
nearby pile of garbage. Ryoga lands then grabs his umbrella as it
spins back to him. Kuno groans then passes out. Ryoga nods with
satisfaction, turns around then stops and looks at his surroundings in
confusion.)
Ryoga: Dammit, not again! Where am I now?!!
(Akane comes running up from street from the way Kuno and Ryoga
came.)
Akane: Ryoga! Don't move!
Ryoga: {to the sky as he turns to see Akane}Thank you, thank you,
thank you.
(Akane comes to a stop next to Ryoga.)
Akane: Huh?
Ryoga: Nothing, just glad to see you.
Akane: {as she looks back at Kuno}When's he going to get it?
Ryoga: Soon I hope.
Akane: I wouldn't count on it.
(Akane looks back at Ryoga.)
Akane: I'm starved, let's go somewhere.
Ryoga: Sure, ahh, where?
Akane: Ummm, well, I should go check on how Ukyo is doing. We
can eat there. Come on.
(Akane smiles at Ryoga and takes his hand. Ryoga blushes and lets
Akane lead him down the road until they arrive at Ucchan's. They
enter and find Mousse cooking for a few customers. They walk
over to an empty table and sit down. After a moment Mousse comes
over.)
Mousse: Hi there, social visit or are you here to eat?
Akane: Both. We'll just have our usual.
Mousse: Sure.
Akane: Where's Ukyo?
Mousse: Out back with Perfume. She isn't doing so good.
(Mousse goes back to the grill.)
Ryoga: Maybe if we all ganged up on her we could force her to tell
us where the pill is.
Akane: Cologne's not the type of person to be intimidated. She can
stare down Soon Li and I get goose pimps when Soon Li gives me a
stern look. No, I'm afraid Ukyo's stuck.
Ryoga: We could try searching again.
Akane: Where? I've looked everywhere I can possibly think of.
She must of hid it someplace we don't know about. It's just no
good. {pause, then as she stands up}You wait here, I'm going to
talk to Ukyo. Be back in a minute or two.
Ryoga: Sure.
(Ryoga watches as Akane walks off into the back room then sighs in
contentment and leans back.)
Ryoga: [What bliss. Finally my life shows a hint of light. Hint!
This is a blazing star of joy!]
(Ryoga smiles then starts to ponder something as Mousse sits down
across from him.)
Mousse: Have some sort of problem?
Ryoga: Ah, yeah. {pause}I... Well, we've, you know, been da..
dating for a while now but...
Mousse: You want to try for something more.
Ryoga: Ahh, yeah, I guess so.
Mousse: Can't handle the stress huh?
(Ryoga bows his head and nods sadly.)
Mousse: I've always been of the policy that if you want something
you should go for it.
Ryoga: {looking back up, hopefully}You think so?
Mousse: Yeah, but then again I lost what I wanted.
(Ryoga goes back to his sad look.)
Mousse: I'll go get your meals.
======================================================
(Outside Ucchan's Perfume is busy wrapping bandages on Ukyo's
slightly burned hands with Akane watching. A small fire burns a
few feet away.)
Akane: Ukyo, burning your hands off won't solve your problem.
Ukyo: I'm going to learn this stupid technique and beat that damned
ghoul if it's the last thing I do.
Akane: It very well may be if you don't take it easy. Perfume, how
long did it take you to learn this technique?
Perfume: {nervously}Month or so.
Ukyo: A MONTH!!! Why didn't you tell me that before?!!
Perfume: {extremely nervous}Well, ahh... umm...
Ukyo: Just great! Just great!
(Perfume finishes with the bandages and gets up nervously.)
Perfume: I go help Mousse, okay?
Ukyo: Whatever!
(Perfume nervously leaves and Ukyo turns back to the fire and stares
at it angrily. Her anger turns to despair and she bows her head and
shakes it.)
Ukyo: {depressed}I can't take this anymore, I can't.
Akane: Don't talk like that.
Ukyo: {near breakdown}I... I just can't. I can't last a month, a
week, another day even. DAMN HER!!!
(Ukyo slams her fists onto the ground while Akane sadly watches.
After a moment Ukyo stops and stands up, breathing hard and
looking desperate.)
Ukyo: I have to give in.
Akane: No, come on-
Ukyo: I HAVE TO!! Akane, I can't take this any longer. One more
day and I'll lose it completely. I don't care anymore, anything is
better than this.
Akane: No, you can't give into her, you can't! You can do this.
Ukyo: I CAN'T!!! I CAN'T!!!! It's too much for me to take! I'll
lose everything I have if this goes any longer, everything.
(Ukyo starts to walk rapidly off but Akane rushes in front of her and
blocks her path.)
Akane: {sternly}Ukyo, get a hold of yourself! Are you going to let
some old crone defeat you with some stupid trick?!!
(Ukyo considers this.)
Akane: If you give in now you'll be trapped in a false marriage to
another woman. You won't be happy, even she won't be happy
really. You got to hold out, not only for yourself but for her too.
(Ukyo slowly nods then gets more determined and nods some more.)
Ukyo: You're right, you're right, but what do I do? I'm no closer to
learning this dumb technique than I was two days ago.
Akane: Maybe you're just going about it the wrong way. Maybe
some alternate form of training is in order.
Ukyo: Like what?
Akane: I don't know. You're just going to have to find something.
(Ukyo considers for a moment then nods. She rubs her face.)
Ukyo: *sigh*I need to go for a walk. {pause}Thanks Akane, I
was...
Akane: Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it. Can happen to the best of
us, especially with Cologne involved.
(Ukyo nods then walks off past Akane. Akane watches her go then
heads back into Ucchan's and sits down with Ryoga. Perfume
brings over two plates of okonomiyaki.)
Perfume: Is Ukyo better now?
Akane: For now. Perfume, are you sure you can't remember
anything about where she might have hidden that pill?
Perfume: No remember anything.
Akane: Well, unless something drastic happens really soon, she's
not going to make it.
(At the grill Mousse looks up with a hint of concern. He thinks for a
second then returns to his work.)
======================================================
(Shampoo lays on her bed reading a book. She scowls every few
seconds then finally puts the book down on her chest and rubs her
eyes. When she opens her eyes again Ranma-kun is leaning over
her.)
Shampoo: {startled}Ranma?
Ranma: You know, I've been thinking...
Shampoo: About what?
Ranma: Oh, I think it's time.
Shampoo: {confused}Time for-
(Ranma-kun cuts Shampoo off by kissing her on the lips. She closes
her eyes and starts to wrap her arms around Ranma but suddenly
finds him hugging her about the chest. She looks down at him in
confusion.)
------------------------------------------------------------------
(Shampoo wakes up on her bed, bats a book off her face and looks
down to see Happosai nestled between her breasts. She cringes
then begins to shake angrily.)
======================================================
(In the Tendo common room Soun and Genma are busy playing a
game of Go when a huge crash of thunder is heard.)
Shampoo (from upstairs): HAPPOSAI, YOU I KILL!!!!!!
(Another crash of thunder followed by running feet is heard.
Streams of tears come down from Soun's eyes.)
Soun: {sadly}I was feeling so good until he came.
(Genma nods in agreement. Suddenly Ranma-kun runs into the
room.)
Ranma: {as he runs around the corner}That's it! He's dead!!!
(Seconds later a new set crashes and thunder is heard upstairs.)
======================================================
(Elsewhere, Akane and Ryoga (Akane in the lead) are walking home
from Ucchan's. Ryoga is fidgeting with his fingers nervously.
Akane looks back at Ryoga.)
Akane: Something wrong Ryoga?
Ryoga: {nervously}Ahh, nonono, I'm fine, fine, really.
Akane: {as she looks forward again}Okay.
(Ryoga fidgets for a few seconds longer then increases his pace to
be beside Akane.)
Ryoga: {nervously}Ahh, Akane, you... ahhh... like me, right?
Akane: Of course.
Ryoga: {nervously}I mean we've been... dating for a while now
right?
Akane: Yes.
(They come to the gate to the Tendos' and stop while Akane opens
it.)
Ryoga: {nervously}You know that I... ah... really like... I mean
love... ah you right.
(Akane finishes opening the gate and turns to Ryoga, a little
excited.)
Akane: Of course I do.
Ryoga: {nervously}Well, I... umm... wanted to... ask you if maybe...
possibly... if you'd like to... maybe... ahhh...
Akane: {anxiously exited}Yes?
(Ryoga fidgets nervously then after a moment moves closer to
Akane, looking her directly in the eyes.)
Ryoga: {nervously}Ahh, well...
(Ryoga looks off to the side then back at Akane. He starts to lean
over just a little towards Akane when...)
Happosai: Akane, save me!
(Akane suddenly finds Happosai attached to her chest and lets out a
startled scream. Ryoga is so startled he can do little more than blink
in confusion. Akane fumes and slams the old man into the ground as
Shampoo and Ranma-kun come racing towards them.)
Akane: DIE YOU PERVERT!!!
(Akane attempts to kick Happosai but he leaps to a nearby rooftop
and runs off laughing.)
Akane: {angrily}He's not going to get away with this!!
(Akane leaps to the roof after him and is soon followed by Ranma-
kun and Shampoo. Ryoga sighs in disappointment then looks angry
and races after the others.)
Ryoga: [Damn that old freak!!! I was so close!!!]
======================================================
(Later that night, Mousse is sitting in the empty Ucchan's. He looks
at the door then gets up and walks into the back room. A moment
later he returns carrying a bottle and sits down at a table.)
Mousse: [Where the hell is she? You'd think she'd at least call.]
(Mousse takes a sip of the drink then pulls out a picture of Shampoo
and looks at it sadly.)
Mousse: {sadly}Shampoo.
(Mousse continues to look at the picture for another minute while
taking a sip of his drink. He looks at the drink in disgust.)
Mousse: [Really got to get Ukyo to get some sake around here.
This soda tastes like sewer water.]
(Mousse puts the bottle down on the table then puts the picture back
in his shirt. He pulls out a picture of Ranma-kun and scowls at it.)
Mousse: [What do women see in you anyway?]
(Mousse looks across to wall where a dart board is hanging. He
pulls out a dagger, throws the picture into the air then throws the
dagger at it, pinning the picture to the board.)
Mousse: [I work my whole life to get her and you stole her from
me.]
(Bang! A dagger sticks into the picture, directly between the eyes.)
Mousse: [I'd love to do that for real.] *sigh*[Yeah, and Shampoo
would probably use the same dagger to tear my heart out.
{pause}Jerk couldn't even be satisfied with one woman. No, he
had to toy with others too. Akane, Kodachi, well she's crazy,
who'd want her anyway. Even Ukyo.]
(Bang!)
Mousse: [What kind of a jerk makes a woman fall in love with him
then runs off?]
(Bang!)
Mousse: [I'd never do that, but what do I get?]
(Bang!)
Mousse: [Nothing! Can't even get Perfume to like me. {pause}At
least she doesn't love the guy. {pause}Where the hell is Ukyo?]
(Mousse looks back at the door then returns to looking at the picture
(now with a dagger in each eye, one in the throat and the original
one between the eyes). He grabs his drink, finishes it off then gets
up and heads into the back room. Just then Ukyo comes in looking
tired and ragged but otherwise fine. She looks across at the dart
board and raises an eyebrow. Mousse comes out from the back and
sees her.)
Mousse: Oh, you're back.
Ukyo: Yeah. {pause}A little diversion?
Mousse: Huh? {looks across at the dart board}Ah, sort of.
{pause}Where you been?
Ukyo: {as she walks to the dart board}Just sorting things out.
(Ukyo removes the daggers from the picture and then looks at it for a
moment.)
Ukyo: Hating him won't change anything.
Mousse: I know, but it gives me something to do with my time.
(Ukyo crumbles up the picture and throws it into a waste basket.)
Ukyo: Well, it's not worth driving yourself nuts over. Ranma,
Shampoo, they're both lost to us. You should find someone else to
give your affections to.
(Ukyo starts to go into the back.)
Mousse: Uh, Perfume is in your room.
Ukyo: What?!
Mousse: She was waiting for you to get back and fell asleep so I
put her in there for a while. I can go wake her if-
Ukyo: Nah, let her sleep. I got things to do anyway.
(Ukyo goes into the back. She takes a brief look into her room
where Perfume lays curled up on top of the covers.)
Perfume: {in her sleep}Ukyo...
(Perfume smiles then roles over. Ukyo shakes her head and shivers
in slight disgust then moves off to the kitchen.)
Ukyo: {to herself}Don't want to know. Don't want to know.
(After a moment she returns to the dining area carrying several
spatulas.)
Ukyo: The kid even dreams about me. She really needs a guy or
something.
(Mousse nods in agreement as Ukyo goes to the grill and places the
spatulas on it, handles over the edge.)
Mousse: What are you doing?
Ukyo: {as she turns on the grill}Trying something I should have
tried from the start.
(Mousse walks over to the grill and watches as Ukyo quickly grabs
a spatula, flips it in her hand then puts it back on the grill. She
repeats this another couple times then starts to do two in a row, then
three, four, five, six, and continues adding to the number of spatulas
until she is flipping almost twenty spatulas in less than a second.
She increases the speed of the flips, flipping each twice, then three
times, then four and so on until all that can be seen of her hands is a
blur.)
Mousse: How in the...
Ukyo: This is how I built up my speed when I was a kid. Haven't
bothered with it much lately so I never realized I could go so much
faster now if I just push myself.
Mousse: You won't even need the pill at this rate.
Ukyo: This is good for fast food but not good enough for my
masterpieces.
(Ukyo stops her motions to reveal the spatulas are now glowing red
hot. Ukyo smiles and her aura glows slightly as she shakes her fist.)
Ukyo: Another couple hours of this and I'll be able to grab a
mountain of chestnuts from a fire no problem. Now, about those
modifications you were talking about...
======================================================
(Ukyo, armed and ready for heavy combat (her battle spatula across
her back and wearing a double bandoleer of spatulas, a belt with
nearly a solid band of spatulas, and a pair of gloves), walks up the
street to an open lot. Mousse walks beside her.)
Mousse: I don't like this, letting her choose the location was a bad
idea.
Ukyo: What does it matter? Here, my place, the Nekohanten, I'll
get that stupid amulet where ever the battle is. What is the
difference?
Mousse: I still don't like it.
(Ukyo and Mousse leap onto the fence and look on in surprise and
shock at the lot in front of them. Numerous fires and fields of hot
coals litter the lot leaving no ground uncovered. At the center of
this, Cologne balances confidently on her staff, an amulet around her
neck. Perfume sits nervously on the fence at the other end of the
lot.)
Mousse: What is this?!!
Cologne: You did not think I would stand ideally by and let Ms.
Kuonji take the amulet did you?
Ukyo: I thought you Amazons had some honor?
Cologne: We do. Did I ever say the location would be a balanced
fighting ground?
Mousse: This is unfair as hell and you know it.
Cologne: All is fair in love and war.
Mousse: {angrily}Why you-
Ukyo: Mousse, drop it.
(Mousse reluctantly relaxes slightly and sits down on the wall.)
Ukyo: Okay ghoul, tricks or no tricks I'm getting that amulet. You
better live up to the deal.
Cologne: If I lose the amulet, the pill will be yours. If you lose, you
agree to marry Perfume.
Ukyo: Right. Let's get this over with.
(Ukyo readies her battle spatula and leaps into the air at Cologne.
Ukyo strikes down but Cologne dodges. Ukyo then embeds her
spatula in the hot coals below and balances on it. Cologne calmly
taps the spatula, throwing Ukyo off balance. Ukyo in turn spins
around the spatula, holding it with her hands and kicking out at
Cologne. Cologne ducks under the kick but Ukyo then pulls her
spatula from the coals, flies through the air a few feet, then embeds
it in another field of coals and balances.)
Cologne: Give up now, you can't keep this up forever.
Ukyo: Don't need to.
(Ukyo pushes off and lands on the fence. She jumps in the air and
dives down on Cologne. Ukyo switches her grip of the spatula to
her legs then prepares to strike with her hands.)
Ukyo: Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken!!
(A blur of fists from Ukyo meets an equally fast blur of fists from
Cologne. Ukyo embeds her spatula in the coals and the two continue
there exchange.)
Cologne: Impressive, you learned one of the Amazons' greatest
techniques. You will truly make a wonderful addition to the village.
(Ukyo stops the exchange and flips back to the fence with her
spatula.)
Ukyo: Shut up!
Cologne: You didn't actually think you could make it through my
defenses did you. I am a master of that technique.
Ukyo: Yeah, well I got a couple of modifications to show you.
(In a flash of motion Ukyo throws her entire arsenal of throwing
spatulas at Cologne in less than a second. Cologne dodges into the
air and blocks with her staff deflecting all the incoming projectiles.
Ukyo jumps to meet her opponent in mid air and the two exchange
another blur of attacks this time staff against spatula. The two
crossover and land, Ukyo on the fence and Cologne in the field of
hot coals.)
Cologne: If that's the best you have Ms. Kuonji this battle is all but
over.
Ukyo: I haven't lost yet.
(Ukyo leaps into the air and dives down on Cologne. Cologne spins
her staff and lowers it, still spinning, into the coals sending a hail
off hot rocks at Ukyo. This time Ukyo desperately blocks the
incoming projectiles and just barely manages to embed her spatula
in the ground and balance before landing.)
Cologne: The trouble with you is that you don't know when you're
beat.
Ukyo: The trouble with you is that you are overconfident.
(Ukyo pulls off her gloves to reveal her hands to be wrapped in
slightly damp cloth.)
Ukyo: Try this. Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken revised, Okonomiyaki
Art of the Flaming Fist!!
(Ukyo again attacks with a blur of punches which is met by a blur of
punches from Cologne.)
Cologne: Revised?! This is no different than before.
Ukyo: Wait for it.
(Suddenly little puffs of smoke start to explode in front of Cologne,
then small flashes of light and finally small fireballs. Cologne is
startled then forced to withdraw when her robe catches on fire.
Ukyo lets off a triumphant yell as she holds up the amulet. Mousse
shakes his arm in victory as Perfume jumps for joy but is so
overwhelmed she nearly falls off the fence but manages to recover.
Cologne calmly pats out the fire on her person.)
Cologne: Most impressive. Some sort of flammable liquid in the
cloth I would guess.
Ukyo: Just a little cooking alcohol. Quite effective I think. Now,
where's the pill.
Cologne: In the amulet, where else.
Ukyo: WHAT?!
(Ukyo opens up the amulet and finds a small pill inside.)
Cologne: The best place to hide something is in plain view, do you
not agree? Enjoy your victory young lady for I am not through with
you yet.
(Cologne hops off as Ukyo gives her an angry look.)
======================================================
Ukyo: {overjoyed}Wooohooo!! Yes!!
(Ukyo tosses a half dozen okonomiyaki in the air which land on the
plates in front of Mousse, Perfume, Ranma-kun, Shampoo, Akane
and Ryoga.)
Ranma: {slightly amused}You seem happy Ukyo.
Ukyo: {overjoyed}Happy?! Happy?! I'm ecstatic!! I feel like
celebrating! You guys want to go out.
Akane, Ranma, Ryoga, Shampoo: Sure.
Perfume: {excited}Ukyo is going to take me on date?
Ukyo: It's not a date, we're just going out, it's not a date, okay?!
Perfume: {moderately disappointed}Okay.
(Ukyo and the others start to get up to leave, taking their
okonomiyaki with them. Mousse gets up to follow but stops at the
door and pulls out the picture of Shampoo and looks at it.)
Ukyo: Mousse, you coming or what?
Mousse: Ah, yeah, be right with you.
(Mousse takes one last look at the picture and drops it into the waste
basket and rushes out.)
Mousse (from outside): Ukyo, wait up!
%End part 1
======================================================
%Part 2
(Kasumi stands in the Tendo kitchen peacefully watching and
stirring the contents of a pot on the stove. Soon Li walks in rubbing
her forehead and stops beside Kasumi.)
Kasumi: Hello Soon Li. You're home early today.
Soon Li: {while rubbing her forehead}Bad day.
Kasumi: Oh my, not overly bad I hope?
(Soon Li stops rubbing and closes her eyes for a second while
taking a deep breath.)
Soon Li: No. Here, let me watch that. You go set the table.
(Kasumi nods and walks over to a cupboard while Soon Li tends to
the food. Kasumi removes some dishes from the cupboard then
heads off. Soon Li is silently tending the food when a crash is
heard behind her.)
Happosai: {as he runs by the kitchen doorway}*Laughter*
Ranma-chan: {angrily as she runs by the kitchen doorway}Die old
man!!!
Soon Li: *sigh*
Happosai: {as he runs by the kitchen doorway}*Laughter*
Akane: {angrily as she runs by the kitchen doorway}Get back here
you old freak!!!
Soon Li: *deep breath*
Happosai: {as he runs by the kitchen doorway}*Laughter*
Ryoga: {angrily as he runs by the kitchen doorway}How dare you
touch Akane!!!
(Soon Li begins to shake.)
Happosai: {as he runs by the kitchen doorway}*Laughter*
Shampoo: {angrily as she runs by the kitchen doorway}I kill!!!
(Soon Li continues shaking then clenches her teeth and slams down
the spoon on the counter. She turns angrily and walks over to the
doorway and waits.)
Happosai: {from just around the corner}*Laughter*
(Just as Happosai gets into view Soon Li kicks out, smashing him
into the wall. She angrily grabs up the half conscious old man and
starts to walk down the hall. Shampoo, Ranma-chan, Akane and
Ryoga skid to a halt as she passes them.)
Soon Li: Akane, keep an eye on dinner. I'll be right back.
(Soon Li turns into the common room and leaves sight.)
Ranma: {overjoyed}All right!!! The pervert's a dead man now!!
(Everybody nods with satisfaction.)
======================================================
(A short time later Ranma-kun and Shampoo are listening at the door
to the dojo. Inside the muffled voices of Happosai and Soon Li can
be heard.)
Ranma: What's going on in there? No fighting?!
Shampoo: No. They talk.
Ranma: Are talking Shampoo.
Shampoo: {annoyed}Whatever.
(Some footsteps are heard and Ranma-kun and Shampoo rush around
the corner. The door opens and Happosai walks out with a smile on
his face. Soon Li watches him go, looking defeated then returns
inside. After a second of confusion at seeing this Ranma-kun and
Shampoo creep over to the entrance and peer in on Soon Li. Soon
Li sits on the dojo floor, mumbling angrily, rubbing and stretching
her hands.)
Ranma: {whispering}No way! The old freak even got Soon Li to
back down!
(Shampoo sadly nods in agreement.)
Kasumi (unseen): {calling out}Dinner everyone!
(Soon Li shakes her head and gets up, slightly calmer than before.
Ranma-kun and Shampoo turn and start heading into the house.)
Ranma: We have to do something about him or we'll never get any
peace.
======================================================
(Sometime later that night Shampoo walks into the dojo and notices
Soon Li sitting at the center of the floor, eyes closed and with a soft
glow surrounding her. Shampoo stops at the doorway, surprised
and silently watches as the aura changes color and shape. The aura
suddenly dims and goes out as Soon Li opens her eyes.)
Soon Li: Come in Shampoo.
(Shampoo walks over to Soon Li.)
Soon Li: Here, sit down.
(Shampoo obeys and sits down across from Soon Li.)
Shampoo: What you doing?
Soon Li: I think the correct question is what was I doing.
(Shampoo scowls but then reluctantly nods.)
Soon Li: It's a special meditation process, like yours just more
focused.
Shampoo: Master Happosai making you mad?
Soon Li: You could say that. He's quite the formidable man, on par
with Cologne. I now understand why Soun fears him so.
Shampoo: I guess that means you can't fight him.
Soon Li: Yes, too powerful I'm afraid. Unfortunately he's... getting
to me.
Shampoo: We beat him... Sorry, we will beat him.
Soon Li: I'm sure you will in time. {pause}Tell me, do you feel
you have mastered all your techniques?
Shampoo: Well, umm, not sure... Maybe. Can... I can't see how... I
could improve anymore.
Soon Li: Okay, what about Ranma? Do you feel he is about as
good as he can get with them?
Shampoo: {reluctantly}Yes.
Soon Li: Problem?
Shampoo: He learn...s so fast. It took me years to master those
skills, he master... has mastered them in little... a little over a month.
Soon Li: He is quite the martial artist. He has an extremely rare
aptitude for it. Ryoga's almost the same from what I hear from
Akane. It makes you jealous doesn't it?
Shampoo: Yes.
Soon Li: You'll always meet those that are better than you
Shampoo. Remember, to most you seem unbelievably good too.
Just be glad he's an ally.
(Shampoo nods.)
Soon Li: He hasn't surpassed you yet. I think you're ready to move
on to the last element of the Lightning style.
Shampoo: A new technique?
Soon Li: In a way. It's called the art of focus. It's an advanced
form of mental focus. As a matter of fact it is what allows that form
of meditation you saw earlier.
Shampoo: What good does it do?
Soon Li: Well, it opens doorways, many doorways, figuratively of
course. It can be used to obtain an inner state of peace, or to
enhance the effectiveness of your martial arts, or even allow you to
draw more on your chi, or ki, whatever you wish to call it. Those
are just a few of it's applications.
Shampoo: It's sounds very powerful.
Soon Li: Maybe deceptively so, it's not a cure-all and it takes much
time to learn it completely. Do you feel yourself to be up to the
task?
(Shampoo eagerly nods.)
Soon Li: All right then. Let's begin.
======================================================
(Ranma-kun peeks into the dojo to find Shampoo sitting in the center
of the floor, head resting on her hands, staring at a wall. He looks at
the wall, squints and sees a tiny pin stinking out of the wall. He
looks back at Shampoo in slight confusion then quietly walks in to
stand next to her.)
Ranma: What are you doing?
Shampoo: Staring at a pin in a wall.
Ranma: Ahh. {pause}Forgive my misunderstanding but why?
Shampoo: *sigh*It...it's a new technique.
Ranma: Really.
(Ranma-kun sits down next to Shampoo then starts staring at the pin
as well.)
Ranma: And exactly what are we supposed to be looking for.
Shampoo: She didn't say, she only said we know... would know it
when we saw it.
Ranma: Love those. Any idea on how long this is supposed to take.
Shampoo: She say..said she would set my bed up in here if that's a
clue.
Ranma: Oh, fun.
(Just then Soon Li comes in carrying some blankets and a pillow and
notices Ranma-kun.)
Soon Li: {as she puts the bedding down}Ranma, are you trying this
too?
Ranma: Guess so.
(Soon Li looks down at the bedding then thinks for a moment.)
Soon Li: Well, I suppose it's okay, you two are engaged after all.
Ranma: {nervously, now looking at Soon Li}Huh?!
(Shampoo grins but keeps staring at the pin.)
Soon Li: {amused}Just lightening the mood. I'll fetch your stuff.
(Soon Li leaves as Ranma-kun gives Shampoo a moderately nervous
glance.)
Shampoo: Worried about something Ranma?
Ranma: Ah, just a little shocked that she'd... you know...
Shampoo: Mmhuh.
(Ranma-kun shakes his head then resumes staring at the pin.)
Ranma: It's just that I want to wait.
Shampoo: *sigh*I know.
(The two continue staring at the pin in silence.)
======================================================
(Late that night a dark figure looms silently on the roof of the dojo.
It leans over and looks in then shakes it's head in frustration. On the
other side of the roof master Happosai lands, carrying a hug sack of
lady's unmentionables and gives the figure a curious look.)
======================================================
(The next morning Shampoo awakens to find herself with her arms
wrapped around Ranma-kun who is still sleeping. She smiles then
looks around in confusion when she notices the sound of something
swinging nearby. The silhouette of a lump swinging back and forth
on the other side of the dojo door is seen. Shampoo looks at the
silhouette in confusion.)
======================================================
(A short time later all the Tendos, Ryoga, Ranma-kun and Genma
are looking at Happosai, tied up in wires, with tiny pin pricks all
over his face and totally unconscious, swaying in the wind at the
dojo door.)
Ranma: Who the heck did that?
Ryoga: Wasn't me, as much as I would have liked to have done it.
Soun: Whoever did it must be quite formidable.
(Ranma-kun walks forward and grabs the unconscious figure,
stopping it.)
Ranma: Nah, he probably just made the wrong group of women
mad.
Genma: Don't be so sure. I have a bad feeling about this.
Ranma: You jump at your own shadow Pop. Anybody that can
cream the old freak has my appreciation.
(Ranma pulls down the old man and looks at him with a devious
smile.)
Ranma: You know, I think the master needs a little vacation.
{looking at the others}Don't you agree?
(Everyone, save Kasumi, nods in devious agreement. Kasumi
smiles and nods innocently.)
Ranma: I've heard Siberia is nice this time of year, or maybe
Greenland...
======================================================
(Later that day Ranma-kun, Ryoga, Akane and Shampoo are headed
home from school in a down pour (they are all using umbrellas to
escape the rain). Ryoga walks next to Akane, giving her an
occasional nervous glance. Ranma-kun walks up front, lost in
thought. Shampoo walks slightly behind him, watching him
curiously.)
Shampoo: What you thinking about Ranma?
Ranma: Huh?! Oh, just thinking, about this art of focus thing. I
wonder what we're supposed to see?
(Shampoo shrugs and they continue walking.)
Male voice: Shampoo!
(Everyone stops as a teenaged Chinese boy jumps down into the
street ahead of them. He has long blonde hair, is fairly tall, is
wearing dark sunglasses and some sort of odd padded armor (with
tiny sparkles on it) and looks angry.)
Male voice: So, we meet at last.
Shampoo: Who are you?
Male voice: My name is Bu Xien, and I've come for my revenge!
(Bu suddenly pulls out a blue ball and throws it down in front of the
group. Ranma-kun and Ryoga rush to cover Shampoo and Akane
respectively. The ball explodes into a blast of water that changes
Ryoga, Ranma and Akane into their cursed forms while Shampoo
just barely escapes being hit thanks to Ranma.)
Bu: {to himself}Blast, missed her!
(Ranma-chan turns angrily to the boy.)
Ranma: All right you jerk, what's this all about?
Bu: None of your business girly-man! Step aside!
(Ranma-chan takes up a fighting posture as Shampoo backs off
slightly, both angry and confused.)
Ranma: You want her, you come through me.
Bu: Hmph.
(Bu dashes at Ranma with a battle cry and attempts a kick to the
head. Ranma-chan easily ducks under the attack and sends a
lightning fast barrage of punches into the boy's abdomen. Bu
collapses to the street, holding his abdomen in pain but Ranma-chan
also seems to be in pain as she looks at her hands. On her hands she
notices tiny pin pricks like those on Happosai then she falls to her
knees. Shampoo rushes over to Ranma-chan's side as Bu slowly
gets back to his feet.)
Shampoo: {concerned}Ranma, what wrong?
(Ranma-chan slumps into Shampoo's arm, unable to respond before
passing out.)
Shampoo: {scared and concerned}Ranma!
Bu: He's alive, just unconscious. Now, are you going to give me
any trouble?
(Shampoo gently lays Ranma-chan down on the street and angrily
stands up to face Bu.)
Shampoo: {angrily}Shampoo no know who you are but you pay for
what have done!
Bu: This awt to be interesting. You fighting one handed against me
when you don't even know what knocked out your girlfriend there.
(Shampoo looks up at her umbrella then down at Ranma-chan and
starts to look uneasy. However after a second she regains her
determination and draws a single bondori into her free hand with a
spark of electricity. To the side, Akane-cat and Ryoga-pig both
tense up to watch the up coming battle.)
Bu: Fine, be stubborn.
(Bu suddenly jumps into the air and drops more balls, green this
time, into the street. Shampoo leaps into the air to avoid the
explosions of green gas that fills the street. Both combatants land on
a nearby roof top. Shampoo looks briefly back at the street and
notices Ryoga-pig and Akane-cat to be sleeping on the ground. She
looks back at Bu just in time to see another barrage of balls coming
her way.)
======================================================
(Sometime later Ranma-kun awakens and finds himself being
examined by Dr. Tofu in his clinic.)
Ranma: {as he sits up}Shampoo!
(Ranma-kun suddenly goes off balance and holds his head.)
Dr. Tofu: Easy Ranma, that drug is still in your system.
Ranma: Drug?
(Dr. Tofu holds up Ranma-kun's hand and points to the pin pricks.)
Dr. Tofu: Looks like you punched a pad of poison needles.
Ranma: Where's Shampoo?
(Just then Ukyo walks in carrying Akane-cat and Ryoga-pig (both
still sleeping).)
Ranma: Ukyo, where's Shampoo?
Ukyo: {sadly}Sorry Ranma, I couldn't find her.
(Ukyo puts down the two animals then pulls out Shampoo's tattered
umbrella from her back.)
Ukyo: {sadly}This is all I could find.
(Ranma-kun grabs the remains of the umbrella then looks at it
angrily.)
Ranma: {angrily}If he's hurt her...
Dr. Tofu: Who?
Ranma: I don't know, some jerk named Bu Xien. No one seemed to
know him.
Dr. Tofu: Hmmm, don't recognize the name myself.
(Ranma-kun gets unsteadily to his feet and nearly falls over but
Ukyo catches him.)
Ukyo: Where you going?
Ranma: I got to find her!
Ukyo: And where exactly you going to look? Tokyo is a big place
you know. If he wants to hide her you'll never find her.
Ranma: Are you saying I should just give up?
Ukyo: Ahh, no, but at least get rested up first. You'll do her no
good if you pass out again.
(Ranma-kun reluctantly sits back down on the examination bed.)
Ukyo: Look, I'll get Mousse and everybody else and we'll go out
and see if we can find anything, okay?
Ranma: All right. Thanks Ukyo.
Ukyo: Good, now, tell me everything.
(Ranma-kun nods then starts to recount the attack to Ukyo.)
======================================================
(Mousse is behind the grill at Ucchan's cooking for several waiting
customers among which Bu Xien is a member. Bu sits at a table
alone and broods, his sunglasses resting on his forehead.)
Ukyo: {from outside the door}Perfume, cut it out!
(Ukyo walks in the door followed closely by a nervous Perfume.)
Ukyo: I said I wanted your help looking, nothing else, okay?
(Perfume reluctantly nods.)
Ukyo: Mousse, I need your help to find-
Perfume: {noticing Bu}Hey, I know him!
(Ukyo turns to look the way Perfume points then quickly grabs
Perfume and dumps her into a seat. Bu looks up briefly but then
resumes his brooding. Mousse watches this all in confusion.)
Ukyo: {quietly}That's him! He looks just like Ranma described
him.
Perfume: He is one? Of course, yes, that why he at village. He
look for Shampoo.
Ukyo: Then that's definitely him.
(Perfume draws an ax and starts to stand up but Ukyo hauls her
down again.)
Ukyo: What are you doing?!
Perfume: Going to make him tell where Shampoo is.
Ukyo: Like he's really going to tell you. Just stay quite and look
inconspicuous. We can follow him when he leaves to Shampoo.
(Perfume nods in understanding as Mousse comes up to their table.)
Mousse: What's going on?
Ukyo: Can't explain now. Just treat us like customers and act
normal!
(Mousse nods then returns to the grill with a confused shrug.)
======================================================
(A short time later Bu (his sunglasses back on) comes out of
Ucchan's and starts to go up the street. Seconds later Ukyo and
Perfume cautiously begin to follow him, being careful to stay from
view. They continue to shadow him for sometime, Bu only briefly
suspecting something but seemingly dismissing it. Finally they leave
the city limits and head into countryside where Ukyo and Perfume
must increase the distance between them to stay unseen. Bu arrives
at a cave in a cliff-face and enters, followed soon after by his two
pursuers. Inside Ukyo and Perfume lose sight of Bu but continue
anyway until they come to a large cavern. They stop when they
notice Shampoo hanging unconscious, bound in dozens of wires,
each with a ball attached to it. Ukyo gestures for Perfume to follow
and cautiously approaches Shampoo.)
Bu: Don't bother.
(Ukyo and Perfume spin around to find Bu dropping down from
above, blocking their escape.)
Bu: If you so much as tap those wires she's dead.
Ukyo: All right you creep, let her go.
Bu: What are you going to do, threaten me? I'm the only one who
know how to get her down safely.
(Ukyo and Perfume give Shampoo a look then look back at Bu in
defeat.)
Bu: Well, at least we aren't stupid. You want her, fine, tell that
boyfriend of hers that I have a challenge for him...
======================================================
(Later, back at the Tendos' Ukyo is explaining the encounter to
Ranma-kun and the others.)
Ukyo: He says he'll free Shampoo, unharmed, on one condition. He
want's a duel, you against him. If you lose you drink some potion of
lost love.
Akane: I don't like the sound of that.
Ranma: Me neither. What's it do, if I haven't already guessed?
Ukyo: Remove your love for someone.
Soun: Why the challenge? He has us at a disadvantage.
(Ukyo just shrugs, not knowing.)
Ranma: Fine! If he wants a challenge-
Akane: Ranma, are you an idiot or what? Last time you fought him
you knocked yourself out! How do you expect to actually hit him?
That armor he's wearing must be covered in poison needles! He
even defeated Master Happosai by the looks of it!
Ranma: Ahhhh...
Akane: Exactly.
Soon Li: I'm afraid we have little other choice. A rescue attempt is
too risky.
Akane: But Ranma is as good as knocked out already!
Ranma: Maybe not. *sigh*I have a crazy idea.
======================================================
(Ranma-kun and Ryoga stand outside a door in a house, both seem
very nervous. Ranma-kun knocks on the door then takes a deep
breath.)
Ryoga: This is nuts.
Ranma: Tell me about it, but do you have a better idea?
(Ryoga shakes his head.)
Ranma: Just stay close. I can use all the help I can get with-
Kodachi: Ranma! Darling!
(Suddenly the door is open and Kodachi has Ranma-kun pinned to
the wall and is face to face with him.)
Ranma: {nervously}Kodachi, ah, hi.
Kodachi: So, you've finally realized what you've been missing out
on. Well, it was inevitable.
Ranma: {nervously}Well, actually, I came here to get your help.
Kodachi: {surprised}My help?
Ranma: {nervously}Yeah.
(Kodachi lets Ranma-kun loose from the wall and eyes him
suspiciously.)
Kodachi: {suspiciously}Why would you want my help?
Ranma: Well, you see... Wait, I want you to promise me something
first.
Kodachi: Hmm, fine, what?
Ranma: I want you to promise that you won't use what I'm about to
tell you to harm Shampoo in anyway, directly, or indirectly, or any
other person, directly, or indirectly and that won't tell anyone else
about this and...
(Kodachi rolls her eyes as Ranma-kun continues.)
Ranma: ...won't imply this to anyone else or in any other way
communicate this information to any one else. Okay?
Kodachi: Very well. So, lover, how can the Black Rose be of
assistance to you?
Ranma: I have to rescue Shampoo.
(Kodachi scowls.)
Ranma: Come on Kodachi.
Kodachi: So the little Chinese harlot has gotten herself into trouble
has she. {pause}I suppose I can hear you out.
Ranma: Okay, there's this guy, Bu Xien, and he's got this weird
armor on that is covered in poison needles.
Kodachi: Hmmmh, poison needle armor, quite ingenious.
Ranma: Yes, well, I can't fight him as is. I was hoping with your
knowledge of drugs and such-
Kodachi: That I would have an antitoxin or something? Well, of
course. Follow me.
(Kodachi turns and walks back into the room. Ranma-kun swallows
nervously then follows her, with Ryoga close behind. They follow
Kodachi into a large greenhouse with many red, black and a small
number of other colored rose bushes then stop at a large cabinet on
the wall. Kodachi opens the cabinet and pulls out a huge amount of
chemistry equipment, much to the shock of Ranma-kun and Ryoga.
She lays out the instruments on a nearby table.)
Kodachi: I wouldn't suppose that you'd have a sample available
would you?
(Ranma-kun looks in his shirt and pulls out a small test tube of
blood which he hands to Kodachi.)
Ranma: Here.
(Kodachi examines the test tube for a second then begins a battery of
tests on it. Ranma-kun and Ryoga watch in amazement as she
processes the sample for several minutes.)
Ranma: Didn't know you were into science.
Kodachi: Well of course darling. A girl can't spend all her time at
the gym.
(Kodachi finally pours a mixture of green liquid into a flask and
watches it change pink with the addition of a few drops of another
liquid.)
Kodachi: Hmmm, very impressive. This man knows his stuff. I'm
most impressed.
Ranma: Can you make an antitoxin.
Kodachi: Oh, quite easily. They have not yet invented the poison
that the Black Rose cannot overcome. But...
(Kodachi suddenly spins around and throws a bouquet of flowers in
Ryoga's face. Ryoga drops like a rock, snoring away, and Kodachi
advances on Ranma-kun. Ranma-kun backs nervously away from
her.)
Kodachi: Why would you want to waste your time with her when
you have me?
Ranma: {nervously}Now Kodachi-
Kodachi: Oh, come now lover, we can have such a wonderful time
together.
(Ranma-kun nearly trips over a plant but continues to back up till
he's against the door.)
Ranma: {nervously}Kodachi, please...
(Kodachi pins Ranma-kun to the wall and looks at him seductively.)
Ranma: {nervously}Kodachi, I asked for your help. I don't want to
hurt you but if I have to...
(Kodachi stops her advance.)
Ranma: {nervously}Please, just for once. I really do need your
help, and I'd really appreciate it if you would.
(Kodachi seductive look changes to one of uncertainty briefly then
to one of complete calmness.)
Kodachi: Very well, I'll give you the antitoxin-
Ranma: Thanks Ko-
Kodachi: On one condition, I want you to take me along.
Ranma: {nervously}Take you along, why?
Kodachi: That you need not know. Do we have a deal?
Ranma: Ahh, I guess I have no real choice do I.
Kodachi: No, you do not.
(Ranma-kun reluctantly nods.)
======================================================
(The sun is setting as Ranma-kun and Akane walk through the
country-side lead by Ukyo and followed by Kodachi.)
Akane: Why'd you bring her along?
Ranma: I had no choice okay. Look, I made her promise not to hurt
Shampoo.
Akane: And you actually trust her?
Ranma: Hey, she hasn't come after me since Shampoo beat her.
She kept her word.
Akane: I guess so but I still don't trust her. She's the one
responsible for Shampoo getting cursed and she tried to kill me.
Ranma: You don't know that for sure.
Akane: Ranma, she was strangling me. If Shampoo hadn't
distracted her I'd be dead.
Ranma: You don't know that, she may have let you go.
Akane: Yeah, and she may not have either. I don't like this one bit.
(They finally reach the entrance to Bu's cave and Ukyo gestures for
the others to follow her inside. They walk through the tunnels until
they reach the cavern and see Shampoo still hanging unconscious by
the booby trapped wires. Bu sits on an outcropping rock and
notices his visitors.)
Bu: Well, decided to accept my challenge did ya?
Ranma: Yeah, she better not be hurt or I'll-
Bu: Yeah, yeah, yeah, rib my arms out and all that jazz. I know the
drill.
(Bu leaps down to be in front of Ranma-kun and the others.)
Bu: This is purely between you and me, any interference at all from
the others and my deal is null and void, got it?
Ranma: Got it.
Ukyo: Good luck Ranma.
Akane: You can do it.
(Kodachi smiles deviously as she examines Bu and the cavern.
Akane and Ukyo step off to the side as Ranma-kun sets up for the
fight. Bu flicks his wrist and a small pole appears in his hand as he
also moves into a fighting stance. The two fighters stand off for a
moment until Bu finally makes a rush on Ranma-kun. Bu takes a
sweeping punch at Ranma-kun's face. Ranma-kun leans back to
avoid the blow but suddenly the sound of a spring is heard and
claws leap out of Bu's sleeve. Ranma-kun is startled by this and
tumbles backward desperately to avoid the claws. Kodachi nods in
respect.)
Bu: Get back here and fight!
(Ranma-kun flips back to his feet then dashes at Bu. Bu spins the
pole above his head and either end of it comes loose to reveal
chains which he uses to wrap up Ranma-kun's legs. With a quick
tug he sends Ranma-kun flying into the cave wall. Ranma-kun reacts
quickly, bouncing off the wall and diving down on Bu with a flying
kick. The kick connects knocking Bu into another cave wall.
Ranma-kun lands and leaps back into the air at Bu. Bu sends a
barrage of green spheres at Ranma-kun that explode into green gas
on contact. Bu seems pleased but then shocked as Ranma-kun
comes out of the smoke, hands ready to strike. Bu attempts to dodge
as Ranma-kun lashes out with a series of lightning fast punches. Bu
slams back into the wall, his sunglasses falling to the ground, and
slips to the ground as Ranma-kun lands, shaking his hands in pain.)
Bu: How... You should be out cold!
Ranma: Too bad huh.
Bu: Grrr, I'm not defeated yet.
(As he gets up Bu sends another batch of spheres at Ranma-kun, this
time blue. Ranma-kun knocks them aside as they reach him with
lightning fast sweeps of his hands. The balls explode in blasts of
water all around Ranma-kun, just barely missing him each time. Bu
roles across the cavern and comes up to a peculiar looking set of
stones and kicks one. Suddenly a large batch of rocks fall down
from the roof towards Ranma-kun. He leaps off to the side, barely
avoiding the attack and finds another batch of rocks falling on him
from above. As the dust clears all that is seen is a pile of rocks
where Ranma-kun was. Bu smiles in satisfaction. Akane and Ukyo
watch in near panic. Kodachi merely scowls, her attention on
Shampoo.)
Bu: Guess he's-
(Suddenly thunder fills the cave and the top of the pile blasts apart
to reveal Ranma-kun, battered but conscious.)
Bu: *growl*
Ranma: Takes more than a couple of measly rocks to get rid of me.
Bu: All right, that's it. I was going nice on you but now the gloves
are off!
(Bu jumps into the air and lands on a rock outcropping. Ranma-kun
leaps after him but finds himself in the midst of another batch of
spheres, red this time. The spheres explode violently but Ranma-
kun just barely manages to escape by tilting off to the side. Ranma-
kun slams into the cave wall from the force of the explosions and
has no time to rest as another set of red spheres start to come his
way. Ranma-kun dodges off to the side only to find another group of
red spheres coming his way. Bu continues throwing red sphere after
sphere at Ranma-kun, forcing him to stay totally defensive on the
ground below.)
Bu: Give up girly-man, I've got you.
Ranma: You got nothing!
Bu: Have it your way then.
(Bu continues his assault for a couple more seconds then notices
Kodachi standing next to Shampoo, examining the wires. Bu draws
a dagger and throws it at the ground at Kodachi's feet.)
Bu: Get away from there!
Akane: I knew she couldn't be trusted!
(Ukyo and Akane rush Kodachi who lets herself be restrained.)
Kodachi: It's a sham.
Akane: Shut up you!
(Bu leaps down to be in between Shampoo and the girls.)
Kodachi: He's got you all fooled.
Bu: Be quiet!
(Suddenly Ranma-kun leaps in on Bu with another lightning fast
series of punches. Bu takes the blow, rolls off to the side and drops
a number of blue spheres on the ground. The spheres explode into
blasts of water, this time hitting Ranma and the girls. Kodachi
watches in shock as Ranma converts to his girl form and Akane
changes to a cat.)
Kodachi: You're a girl?!
(Ranma-chan gives Kodachi, still held by Ukyo, a nervous glance
then returns her attention to Bu who is charging at her. Ranma-chan
lets off another lightning fast series of punches but this time Bu spins
his pole in front of him, wrapping up Ranma-chan's hands in the
chains. Bu pulls on the chains, drawing Ranma-chan in then elbows
her in the face, knocking her backwards to the ground. Ranma-chan
in turn tugs on the chains pulling Bu towards her then kicks him in
the abdomen with both feet sending him flying into the cave wall and
causing him to release the pole and chains. Ranma-chan flips back
to her feet and begins to untangle her hands from the chains as Bu
recovers. As Bu gets to his feet he doubles over in pain then
recovers, gritting his teeth.)
Bu: Well girly-man, it ends now.
Ranma: {just as she frees her hands}You got that right.
(Bu begins a rush on Ranma-chan as Ranma-chan begins moving her
hands in twisting motions, arcs of electricity leaping between them.)
Ranma: Grand Lightning Blast!!!
(Ranma-chan spreads her hands in front of her letting loose a stream
of electricity on Bu. However Bu maintains his rush, the electricity
arcing all around him but little of it hitting, and tackles Ranma-
chan.)
Ranma: [Damn! His armor must be rubber or something!]
(Bu carries Ranma-chan along then slams her into the cave wall. Bu
then strikes out with his fists, springing out claws with each swing.
Ranma-chan desperately ducks side to side to avoid the blows then
lets off a lightning fast series of kicks at Bu. Bu rolls backwards
with the blows and drops another set of red spheres on the ground
that explode sending Ranma-chan flying through the air and crashing
back to the ground. Bu rushes back in on Ranma-chan before she
can recover and grabs a hold of her arms. Ranma-chan struggles but
finds herself overpowered as Bu twists her arms behind her back
and pins her legs with one of his own.)
Bu: {as he applies pressure to the hold}Give up! You can't win.
Ranma: No... way!
(Ukyo watches in despair as Ranma-chan starts to show the pain of
the hold. Kodachi is still stunned and Akane-cat can only watch in
concern.)
Ranma: [Got to break free but...]
(Ranma-chan's hand touches something round in Bu's shirt. She
looks down to see it to be a blue sphere.)
Ranma: [Water. Now, if I can just heat it up.]
(Ranma-chan puts her fingers into a blur of motion until tiny sparks
start to fly between them. She continues this, sending the electrical
arcs into the ball, unseen by Bu.)
Bu: Don't be so damned stubborn! Give up!
Ranma: Not... yet.
(Bu finally notices Ranma-chan's actions and looks down at the blue
ball. Just then the ball explodes in a hiss of steam. Ranma-kun
breaks the hold, spins around with a roundhouse punch and hits a
blonde haired girl in the face causing her to collapse to the ground.
Ranma-kun takes a step back in confusion as the girl sits on the
ground shaking in anger. Kodachi, Ukyo and Akane-cat stare at the
girl in complete shock and surprise.)
Ranma: What the... You're... a girl?!
Bu: {angrily}Shut up! I'm not!
(Bu-chan gets to her feet and recklessly rushes Ranma-kun. Ranma-
kun dodges to the side and grabs Bu-chan from behind as she pass
and pins her arms to her sides.)
Bu: {angrily}Let me go you jerk!
Ranma: All this time you've been a girl?!
Bu: {angrily}I'm not a girl! I'M NOT A GIRL!! Let me go!
(Ranma-kun holds the girl's arms pinned despite her struggles until
finally she goes slack.)
Bu: Fine, you happy now?! Happy to know my little secret?!
Ranma: What the hell is this all about?
Bu: {angrily}What do you think?! She ruined my life!
Ukyo: There's alot of that happening around here.
Bu: {angrily}Oh shut up! You couldn't possibly understand what
I'm going through!
Kodachi: What is all this? What are you people?
Ranma: Ahhh, I thought you knew, about the curses I mean.
Kodachi: Curses?!
Ranma: Didn't the Bakeneko tell you-
Kodachi: That dumb cat told me nothing of this. I am to understand
you are... a girl.
Ranma: Nono, I'm a guy, I just change to a girl.
Kodachi: Then she's-
Ranma: A girl.
Bu: {angrily}Shut up! I am not a girl! I'm a guy!
Ranma: No you're not.
Bu: {angrily}Yes I am! Now let me go!
Ranma: Not until you tell us how to get Shampoo down safely.
Kodachi: You don't need him, her, oh whatever. The trap's a
fraud, a complete sham.
Ranma: What?!
Bu: She's telling the truth. Just cut the wires, the traps are totally
harmless.
(Ranma-kun looks at Ukyo who nods, releases Kodachi and walks
over to the wires drawing her battle spatula.)
Ranma: You better be-
Bu: I am, I keep my word.
(Ukyo looks back at Ranma-kun who nods for her to continue then
slices one of the wires. Nothing happens. She slices another and
another until Shampoo comes loose into her arms. Kodachi walks
over to Ranma-kun and Bu-chan. Ranma-kun releases Bu-chan who
then slumps to the floor, staring at the ground.)
Kodachi: So, brother dear was right, you are a girl.
Ranma: No, I'm a guy. She's the girl.
Bu: {angrily}Would you shut up already! I'm not a girl!
Ranma: Yes you are! Hot water changes a Juzenkyo cursed person
back to normal, not cold.
Bu: Hmmph.
Kodachi: So then, you are a man.
Bu: A real girly-man-
Ranma: You be quiet! What's your problem anyway?
(Bu-chan gets to her feet and comes face to face with Ranma-kun.)
Bu: {angrily}My problem is that she destroyed my whole life!
Ranma: And how exactly did she do that?
Bu: {angrily}By coming to my village with her damned curse that's
how!
Ranma: How the heck does that effect you?
(Bu-chan turns away from Ranma-kun in anger and stomps off and
stands by the entrance.)
Bu: You'd never understand. Just take your girlfriend and get the
hell out of here.
Shampoo: {weakly}Ranma?
(Ranma-kun notices Shampoo awakening as Ukyo looks over her.
He rushes over to her side. Kodachi in the meantime walks over to
Bu-chan.)
Kodachi: You have a most... intriguing style. AAADTG if I guess
right.
Bu: Yeah, what of it?
Kodachi: Nothing really, I was merely... impressed.
Bu: Hmmph.
(Kodachi scowls then leaves. She makes her way to the outside and
begins walking back to town.)
Ranma: Kodachi, wait!
(Kodachi turns to see Ranma-kun running up behind her. She puts
on a seductive smile.)
Kodachi: Yes darling?
Ranma: {nervously}Ahh, well, I just wanted to say... ah... thanks for
your help. I couldn't have won without it.
Kodachi: Of course not.
(Kodachi pulls out a black rose, tosses it to Ranma-kun and turns to
walk off.)
Kodachi: To remember me by, until next we meet.
(Ranma-kun looks down at the rose in his hand then at Kodachi and
shakes his head in confusion.)
Ranma: [I'm never going to understand that woman.]
%End Part 2
======================================================
%Part 3
(Bu-kun sits poised to act on top of roof, his sunglasses concealing
his eyes. He looks down at the street below and watches as Ranma-
kun, his hands wrapped in bandages, and Shampoo start to walk
under him. With a quick spring he jumps down into the street to
block their path. Ranma-kun immediately takes up a position
between Bu-kun and Shampoo while Shampoo looks on in barely
controlled anger.)
Ranma: What do you want?
Bu: To get my revenge, that's what!
Shampoo: Revenge for what?! What Shampoo ever do to you?!
Bu: You... you... it's not important. You caused all my suffering
and I'm going to make you pay.
Ranma: What about our deal?
(Bu-kun shakes angrily.)
Bu: I released her unharmed. I didn't say I was through with her.
Ranma: Now look, I don't like hurting girls-
Bu: {angrily}SHUT UP! I'M NOT A GIRL!
Ranma: Why do you keep saying that? You are a girl!
(Bu-kun angrily rushes at Ranma-kun but gets tripped up by Ranma-
kun and tumbles to the ground. He gets to his knees and stares
angrily at the ground, not facing his opponents.)
Ranma: What is your problem anyway?
(Bu remains angrily silent for a moment then gets up and faces
Ranma-kun and Shampoo.)
Bu: {as he points at Ranma-kun}Fine, fine, have it your stinking
way but someone's going to pay for what's happened to me. I'll get
my revenge, I swear.
(Bu-kun jumps up to the roof tops and runs off.)
Ranma: That's one confused girl.
(Shampoo nods in agreement.)
======================================================
(Bu-kun (his sunglasses resting on his forehead) walks down a
lightly crowded street, angrily shaking his head.)
Bu: [Damn it! She ruins my whole damned life and I can't even
strike back at her. {pause}Blast! How did he beat me?! My sleep
drug never fails. He should have been snoozing like a baby.
{pause}And that other damned girl, how'd she see through my trick.
There's no way she should of be able to see those bombs were
fakes. If she hadn't been snooping around I would have had him.
{pause}She knew my style too.]
(Bu-kun stops and looks to the side at the Kuno mansion.)
Bu: [Kuno? Kodachi Kuno, that's right, she's the nut that chases
after that jerk Ranma. This is her place. {pause}I bet she's
responsible for this whole mess. Well, she's going to pay for
getting in my way!]
(Bu-kun lowers his sunglasses over his eyes, turns and jumps up
onto the fence then drops down into mansion grounds. He looks
around the trees and brushes and smiles.)
Bu: [What a bunch of pitiful traps! Just you wait Kodachi. Just you
wait.]
(Bu-kun shakes his head and begins to make his way carefully
through the brush to the main building.)
======================================================
(Kodachi stands over a potted black rose bush, pruning the plant
with care. She stops and listens attentively then returns to her work.
Bu-kun comes out from behind a taller plant and quietly creeps up
on his prey. Kodachi smiles, her back to Bu-kun, and secretly pulls
out a gymnastic ribbon. With a flick of his wrist Bu-kun produces
his pole and closes the gap to be just behind Kodachi. He readies
his weapon to thrust it into Kodachi's back but Kodachi suddenly
spins, leaps into the air, and whips out at him with her ribbon. Bu-
kun is startled but blocks each strike with his pole then flips
backward as Kodachi lands.)
Kodachi: *maniacal laughter*Welcome, brigand, to my little
garden. It's so unfortunate that your visit will be so short.
Bu: Yeah, cause you'll be trashed before long.
Kodachi: *maniacal laughter*I, the Black Rose, defeated by the
likes of you, it is to laugh.
Bu: {as he throws several green spheres at Kodachi}Laugh at this!
(Kodachi stands her ground and lets the balls explode around her
into green gas. A moment later she walks calmly out of the smoke,
spinning her ribbon.)
Kodachi: Nice mix, for an amateur. Here, try this.
(Kodachi pulls out a gymnastic ball and throws it at Bu-kun. He
flips into the air and finds another two gymnastic balls flying his
way. He manages to shield his face as the balls explode into purple
gas. Bu-kun lands, shakes his head and smiles back at Kodachi.)
Bu: Amateur! Hah, who's the amateur?! I made that blend 5 years
ago.
Kodachi: Yes, it's a classic but effective, usually.
(Bu-kun spins his pole, releasing the chains and strikes out at
Kodachi. Kodachi counters with her ribbon blocking the strikes
then striking back. Bu-kun also counters then flips over a table as
Kodachi jumps up on a table. Suddenly Sasuke opens the door.)
Sasuke: Mistress Kodachi, oh my!
(Sasuke catches a green ball and looks down at it in shock a second
before it explodes into green gas. Kodachi gives the sleeping
Sasuke an absent look then returns her attention to Bu-kun.)
Kodachi: Must you attack the help?
Bu: {angrily}You shut up!
Kodachi: So, why exactly do you strike at me?
Bu: Why? Hmmh, do you think I'm stupid? You're the one that
gave Ranma the antitoxin. You're the one that messed up my chance
at revenge.
Kodachi: Oh, that. Don't you have better things to do with your
time?
Bu: Frankly, no!
(Bu-kun presses a button on his pole causing the chains to retract.
He then presses another button and the pole extends into a
quarterstaff. He leaps at Kodachi and takes a sweeping strike at
her. Kodachi dodges the blow, pulls out a pair of gymnastic clubs
and strikes back at Bu-kun as he lands. The two begin an exchange
of strikes with their weapons.)
Kodachi: So, upset that your little plan failed?
Bu: {angrily}Shut up!
(Kodachi flips over Bu-kun head and lands on another table. Bu-
kun turns and continues the attack.)
Kodachi: Perhaps if you had actually tried to win-
Bu: What are you talking about?!
Kodachi: After all, if you really wished to cause the lady harm you
could have-
(Bu suddenly flips backwards a safe distance and stops his attack.)
Bu: I didn't want to do that.
Kodachi: Well then, you could have demanded that my darling
Ranma take the potion.
Bu: I...
Kodachi: Or simply changed your formulation, or coated your
armor's needles with the potion or-
Bu: {angrily}Shut up!
(Bu-kun leaps in on Kodachi, claws springing out on each arm,
ready to strike. Kodachi flips backwards to the wall to avoid the
first attack but Bu-kun leaps at her again and imbeds the claws in the
wall to either side of her face.)
Kodachi: Even now you could have killed me.
(Bu-kun leans away, in shock. Kodachi calmly ducks under Bu-
kun's arms and starts to head over to the cabinet where her
chemistry supplies are. Bu-kun tries to free his claws but finds them
trapped in the wall.)
Kodachi: But you have squandered every opportunity for your
revenge. I'm beginning to even wonder if you had this potion of lost
love.
(Kodachi looks back at Bu-kun questioningly. He responds by
looking away and continuing to try and free himself. She opens the
cabinet and begins searching through it.)
Kodachi: Hmmh. {pause}Ah, {as she pulls out a flask}here it is.
(Kodachi calmly takes the flask over to Bu-kun and opens it.)
Kodachi: I would so much love to continue to this little quarrel but
I have things to do. {as she puts the flask into Bu-kun's face}Here,
give me your professional opinion.
(Bu-kun looks dizzy then slumps over, his claws still caught in the
wall. Kodachi closes the flask and moves back over to the cabinet.)
Kodachi: Amateur indeed. Hmph. {pause}Perhaps you can be
some use to me though.
(Kodachi smiles deviously and turns to leave.)
======================================================
(Bu-chan awakens many hours later to find herself on a bed. She
sits up, holding her head and suddenly notices herself to be wearing
a black lace nightgown. Outside the room Sasuke is walking by.)
Bu (from the room): AHHHH!!! WHAT THE HELL AM I
WEARING?!!
(Sasuke hits the roof in surprise then just as he lands Bu-chan
throws open the door and grabs him by the collar.)
Bu: {angrily}Where the hell are my clothes?!
Sasuke: {nervously}Ahh, mistress Kodachi had me send them out to
be mended and cleaned.
Bu: WHAT?!! Why?
Sasuke: {nervously}She didn't say.
(Bu-chan drops Sasuke and looks down at the nightgown in
despair.)
Bu: I can't go around dressed like this!
Sasuke: Of course, I can fetch you a dress-
Bu: A DRESS?!!! I'm not a girl you jerk!
Sasuke: Ahh, you certainly look female to me Madame.
(Bu-chan shakes then grabs her head in frustration while bearing her
teeth. Sasuke backs off in fear but Bu-chan finally relaxes in
despair and nods.)
Bu: Fine, get me a dress. Anything is better than this.
Sasuke: {with a bow}Yes Madame.
(Sasuke rushes off as Bu-chan walks back into the room. She drops
down onto the bed, hanging her head.)
Bu: {depressed}Why me? {Pause}[{normal voice}What am I
doing here anyway? Why didn't she throw me out, or kill me for
that matter?]
Kodachi: *giggle*
(Bu-chan looks up angrily to see Kodachi standing in the doorway.)
Kodachi: {amused}You look quite fitting in that.
Bu: {sarcastically}Very funny. What am I doing here anyway?
Kodachi: I need some questions answered. I also have a proposal.
Bu: And why should I answer your questions or even consider your
proposal?
Kodachi: Cause if you do not I shall call the police and have you
arrested for attempted murder.
Bu: (nervously)*swallow*You wouldn't.
Kodachi: Oh yes, I would. Oh, and those clothes are mine, I would
have to ask for them back.
Bu: All right, fine.
Kodachi: Good. This curse, the one you bear and my darling
Ranma bears, how does it work, exactly?
(Bu-chan looks at Kodachi and considers then looks down at the
floor.)
Bu: They're Juzenkyo curses, that's a training ground in China with
hundreds of cursed springs. Whatever falls in a spring takes the
form of what drown in that spring. {pause}Hot water changes you
back to normal.
Kodachi: Hmm, so he told the truth, he is a man in reality, and you
are a woman.
Bu: {looking at Kodachi}No!
Kodachi: Are we a little confused? Did you not just say hot water
changes you back to your true form?
Bu: But I'm different.
Kodachi: How so?
Bu: Ah, well, I was raised as a man, not a woman.
Kodachi: Go on.
Bu: You see, I was born a girl but my mother, well, it seems she
wanted a boy so she took me to Juzenkyo and bathed me in the
spring of drowned man. She raised me as a boy until she died in a
rock slide when I was 6. Everyone in my village knew about the
curse but she had told them it worked the opposite way, that my girl
form was my cursed form. When she died everyone assumed she
told the truth. I was raised from then on by my uncle, I never knew
my father.
(Kodachi listens to Bu-chan, a neutral expression on her face.)
Bu: Things were normal enough, I mean I was considered a little
weird but that wasn't so bad. Then she came. {pause}I wasn't
there when her family and her came but I didn't need to be. I don't
know what exactly happened but everyone found out about her curse
and how the curses really worked. My life turned into a living hell
from then on. No one knew how to treat me, as a girl, as a boy. My
already fragile social life turned nonexistent, well sort of. I had a
few sick wacko guys asking me for dates but that's about it.
{pause}I even went to Juzenkyo to try and prove it was a lie but I
only found out it was the truth. Ever since then I've been searching
her out, hoping to pay her back for what she did.
(Kodachi nods then thinks for a moment.)
Kodachi: Hmh, a girl who thinks she's a boy.
Bu: It's worse than you think. What do I do? I fall between the
cracks. I mean, I like women, but as a guy not as a girl.
Kodachi: But your belief is purely due to upbringing, not the curse?
Bu: The curse has nothing to due with it. Some springs change your
personality but not that one, or any of the ones people have around
here either.
Kodachi: Good, then I have not been deceived.
(Kodachi turns to the doorway, but stops and smiles deviously..)
Kodachi: You should just accept the truth.
Bu: The truth?! The truth is that I'm a guy! I don't care what anyone
says, the villagers, you, the Juzenkyo guide, anyone. I'm a guy!
Kodachi: You are a woman.
Bu: Doesn't what I think count?
Kodachi: No, not really.
(Kodachi starts to head into the hall but Bu-chan gets up and rushes
after her.)
Bu: That's not fair!
Kodachi: Life seldom is.
Bu: Would you just give up on what you think to be the truth?
Would you give up on your so called darling Ranma knowing that
he's in love with that girl?
(Kodachi stops and turns back to face Bu-chan, a look of annoyance
on her face.)
Kodachi: He just needs a little prodding to see-
Bu: No, you need the prodding. He doesn't love you, but I think
you know that. He doesn't even really like you. He just tolerates
you from what I've observed.
(Kodachi turns away and continues to walk, an angry look beginning
to form on her face. Bu-chan continues to follow her.)
Bu: You do know it, don't you? You just refuse to give up because
of some nearly impossible hope that he'll come to you. Well let me
tell you something, he isn't. He'll never come to you. He loves that
girl and she loves him. The only thing that will separate them is
something drastic and all you'll ever get is damaged goods.
Besides, why do you bother?
(Kodachi stops forcing Bu-chan to stop as well.)
Bu: Are you so socially inept that you can't seek out some other
man who can return you affections?
Kodachi: {fuming}Socially inept?!
Bu: Yeah, I'd say trying to drug potential boyfriends counts as
something a socially inept person would do. Even I don't go that far
cause I know it won't get me anything.
(Kodachi calms just slightly and continues walking.)
Kodachi: Perhaps you are right, yet like you say, should I give up?
{pause}But perhaps you have already.
Bu: What?
Kodachi: There is the matter of weather you actually wanted to
win-
Bu: I did. You don't know my situation. How was I supposed to
expect your interference? And that potion, I do have it. It's just not
quite as powerful as you might think. Really strong feelings will
break it's power. That's why I didn't use it during fight or force
him to take it. It wouldn't even have a chance of working then.
{pause}Guess it wouldn't have worked anyway. I should have
realized that. He's feelings are just too damned strong. But I would
have done it. I would have if you hadn't of interfered.
Kodachi: So, you do wish to strike at her.
Bu: Damned rights I do. She ruined my life and she's going to pay
for that.
Kodachi: Hmmm. We should be on the same side, not fighting each
other. That is merely a waste of both our times. It would be
infinitely more productive to ally ourselves against little Ms. Tendo.
Bu: Hmmph. Teaming up with you against Shampoo.
{pause}Hmm, maybe, I need to think about it.
Kodachi: Then think, but be quick. The room is yours for the time
being.
(Bu-chan watches Kodachi walk away then starts back to her room.
She walks in to find Sasuke laying out a very feminine black dress
on the bed. Bu-chan looks at the dress in disgust.)
Bu: You got to be kidding?
Sasuke: Mistress Kodachi picked this one out just for you.
Bu: Oh, she did, did she? {fuming, to herself}Why that little...
Sasuke: Are you finished with your test now?
Bu: {confused}Test?
Sasuke: {nervously}Oh, I wasn't supposed to talk about that was I.
Ahhh, you won't mention this will you?
Bu: Of course not.
Sasuke: Thank you greatly Madame. If there isn't anything else...
(Bu-chan shakes her head. Sasuke quickly bows and leaves as Bu-
chan examines the dress, a puzzled look on her face.)
Bu: [Test? What test? {pause}Hmmm.]
======================================================
(Sometime later Bu-chan (now in the dress and looking quite
displeased) walks into a dining hall where Kodachi and Kuno
[strange that no one ever calls him Tatewaki, hmm] are sitting.
Kodachi looks at Bu-chan in slight amusement as Kuno goes wide
eyed.)
Kuno: I was not told we had a guest.
Kodachi: Oh yes, brother dear, this is Bu Xien.
(Kuno gets up and walks up to Bu-chan then bows.)
Kuno: A pleasure Madame.
(Bu-chan slugs Kuno.)
Bu: Don't call me that if you like your life.
Kuno: {confused, as he rubs his jaw}Have I somehow offended you
good lady?
(Bu-chan lets off another punch into Kuno's face causing him to
stumble back slightly.)
Bu: {angrily}Shut up! You call me lady, or girl, or Madame, or
anything else feminine again and I'll tear your lungs out! Got it?!
Kodachi: She has this thing against female titles.
Bu: {angrily}I'm not a girl.
Kodachi: Yes, yes, that argument is getting rather tired. Now are
you going to be civil or shall I have to call certain parties?
(Bu-chan looks at Kodachi angrily but then relents and reluctantly
sits down at the table. Kuno sits down and eyes Bu-chan in
confusion.)
Kuno: {as he sits down}Are you some acquaintance of my sister
Ma...
(Bu-chan glares at Kuno causing him to shut his mouth.)
Bu: You could say that.
(Sasuke comes in carrying a tray with a covered dish on it which he
places before Bu-chan then leaves the way he came.)
Kodachi: It's the most interesting tale bother dear, you see this...
(Bu-chan glares at Kodachi. She responds by giving him a calm,
amused smile.)
Kodachi: Man has a curse.
Kuno: A curse?
Kodachi: Yes, why don't you tell my brother all about it.
(Bu-chan glares in annoyance at Kodachi then relents under her calm
amused smile. Sasuke returns with another tray.)
Bu: I change into a man when hit with cold water.
Kuno: Ah yes, I'm familiar with this curse.
(Kodachi looks at her bother in amusement as Sasuke leaves the tray
in front of her and leaves.)
Kodachi: {amused}You are?
Kuno: I promised I would never tell.
Kodachi: You wouldn't be referring to your pigtailed goddess
would you?
Kuno: Why yes.
Bu: We aren't exactly the greatest of secret keepers are we?
Kuno: I advise you to hold your tongue sir.
Bu: {mock fear}Ooo, are you trying to scare me?
(Sasuke returns with another tray which he places before Kuno.)
Sasuke: Diner is served.
Kuno: Yes, yes Sasuke, leave us.
Sasuke: Yes master.
(Sasuke rushes out as Kuno and Bu-chan exchange challenging
looks. Kodachi watches the confrontation, still smiling in
amusement.)
Kuno: A true man would know fear in the presence of his better.
(Kuno looks down at Bu-chan's dress then back at her face in
challenge.)
Bu: Hey! This was your sister's idea, not mine.
Kuno: Hmph. If it were not for you hiding in the body of a female-
Bu: {angrily}Shut up you! I could take you as a girl or a boy.
(Kuno stands up angrily.)
Kuno: That's it sir. {calling out}Sasuke, cold water!
(Bu-chan jumps angrily to her feet as Sasuke rushes in with a glass
of water. Kodachi's expression changes to a bored frown. Bu-chan
grabs the glass and splashes herself changing to her male form.)
Bu: All right you arrogant jerk, I'm a guy now, let's go!
(Kuno draws his bokken and Bu-kun gets into a fighting posture.
Sasuke backs off fearfully as Kodachi uncovers her plate and begins
eating. Bu-kun and Kuno leap at each other. Kodachi continues
eating, looking up occasionally as Kuno and Bu-kun proceed to
destroy most the dining hall in their fight. One particular crash
causes her to look up and nod. Sasuke looks on in concern.)
Sasuke: Master Kuno, oh my.
(Bu-kun returns to the table, now dressed in Kuno's clothes. Sasuke
rushes off to tend to Kuno (now in the dress).)
Bu: Much better. No offense but your brother's a real twit!
Kodachi: He can be at times but I can deal with him. Have you
considered my proposal?
(Bu-kun uncovers his plate, looks at the food suspiciously then starts
eating himself.)
Bu: Yes, I've considered it. {pause}My answer is... yes.
Kodachi: Wonderful, she won't last a week.
Bu: Maybe, but we're doing this my way. I want her to pay but not
by physically hurting her. I have another plan.
(Kodachi leans over the table with interest.)
Kodachi: Do tell.
Bu: You want Ranma. I just want her to pay. What we are going to
do is get you a proper fighting chance with your man.
Kodachi: I thought you said he'd never come to me.
Bu: The way you act now, no way, but when I'm through with you...
======================================================
(Some days later Shampoo is walking through the school halls with
Ranma-kun on their way to class.)
Ranma: She wasn't kidding when she said that technique takes a
long time to learn.
(Shampoo nods in agreement as they enter the classroom. Suddenly
Ranma-kun is pulled off to the side surprising both him and
Shampoo. They then notice Kodachi, dressed in a Furiken uniform,
with her arms wrapped around Ranma-kun's neck and face to face
with him.)
Kodachi: Hello darling. Glad to see me.
Ranma: {nervously}Ahh... ahh, Kodachi!
Shampoo: {angrily}What you do here?!
(Just then Akane comes in with Ryoga in tow and Ukyo soon
follows. They look at Kodachi in confusion.)
Kodachi: The strangest thing, I was transferred. Imagine my
surprise when I found myself assigned to your school.
(Shampoo attempts to grab Kodachi but she releases Ranma-kun and
hops back out of reach.)
Shampoo: {angrily}Phony story. You think us stupid!
Kodachi: It is the honest truth, I give you my word.
Akane: {sarcastically}Yeah, like your word is worth much.
(Kodachi briefly eyes Akane then smiles seductively at Ranma-kun.)
Kodachi: It matters not, I am here. I guess we'll be seeing a great
deal of each other from now on.
Ranma: {depressed, to himself}Just great.
======================================================
(A short time later during the lunch period Kuno sits with Ranma-
kun and Shampoo by the soccer field.)
Kuno: I am afraid it is true. My sister received the papers just last
night. She is a proficient actor but I do believe she was actually
surprised.
Shampoo: {depressed}I no believe this.
Ranma: Don't believe this.
Shampoo: {annoyed}Whatever.
Ranma: Well anyway, it just seems awfully strange to me.
Kuno: Yes, but my sister seems to be doing a number of strange
things lately. She has even invited a rather annoying man to stay at
the Kuno estate.
Ranma: Man? Who?
Kuno: His name is... Bu I believe. Yes, Bu Xien if I recall
correctly.
Ranma: {surprised}Bu! Oh man! Not her again.
Kuno: You are mistake, he is a man. He only has a curse like your
own.
(Ranma-kun looks at Kuno in annoyance than shakes his head.)
Ranma: Whatever, but I bet he's the cause of this mess.
Kuno: {as he stands up}Indeed. Well, I must be off. No doubt the
foul Hibiki is once more trying to work his magics upon the fair
Akane Tendo.
(Shampoo and Ranma-kun watch as Kuno walks off then look at
each other.)
Shampoo: What you... do you think she..'s up to?
Ranma: I don't really know. Come on.
(Ranma-kun stands up and Shampoo starts to follow him. Far off
Bu-kun (back in his armor, sunglasses over his eyes) jumps up on
top of the fence. Bu-kun spots them, smiles, then leaps into some
nearby brush. Ranma-kun and Shampoo start making their way back
towards the school when Kodachi suddenly jumps down in front of
Ranma-kun. He immediately pulls back in shock as Kodachi walks
up to them. Shampoo gives Kodachi an angry glare.)
Ranma: {nervously}Ahh, hi Kodachi.
Kodachi: I do believe you're avoiding me Ranma darling.
Ranma: {nervously}Ahh, I have?
Shampoo: {fuming}You go or get hurt.
Kodachi: Is violence your only method of dealing with people Ms.
Tendo?
Shampoo: {fuming}People like you deserve no better!
(Kodachi grabs Ranma-kun by the arm and begins dragging him off
to the school. Shampoo is surprised but then begins giving chase.)
Kodachi: Come lover, we should get to know one and other since
we're now at the same school.
Shampoo: {angrily}You let him go!
Kodachi: Oh, scamper off Ms. Tendo. You think you had no faith in
your man.
(Kodachi pulls Ranma-kun inside the school door just as Shampoo
is about to catch up. A splash is heard. Ranma-kun looks nervously
behind him as Kodachi begin taking him up the hallway.)
Ranma: {nervously}Ahh, where'd Shampoo go?
Kodachi: Poor thing must have had a little accident with some
water. She'll be fine I'm sure. Now about you and me...
(Back outside Shampoo-cat angrily climbs out of her wet clothes,
shakes herself off and looks up at an open window. She looks
around desperately then starts to drag her clothes with her as she
moves off towards some nearby washrooms. A soccerball comes
flying in.)
Male voice: Heads up!
(Shampoo-cat notices the ball and abandons her clothes to dodge it.
She watches as a male student comes running up, picks up the ball
then looks down at the clothes in confusion. He shrugs, throws the
ball back to the other players and picks up the clothes. Shampoo-cat
hangs her head in despair then watches as the boy heads into the
school. Just inside the hallway, and out of sight of Shampoo-cat,
Bu-kun stops the boy.)
Bu: Hey, thanks. My sister was looking for those?
Boy: Oh, okay, here.
(The boy hands over the clothes then heads back outside. Bu-kun
smiles then walks off with the clothing.)
Bu: [No changing back today kitty.]
======================================================
(Later that day Kodachi arrives at home to find Bu-kun sitting in the
common room, several bundles of Furiken uniforms and several
other sets of Chinese clothes around him.)
Kodachi: I'm quite pleased. I never saw her again.
Bu: Good, that means I got all her little stashes.
Kodachi: {as she walks off down a hall}Your plan is coming to
fruition.
Bu: I don't know, not yet.
(Bu-kun waits for a few minutes and Kodachi returns in a black and
white dress, a red ribbon tied to the center of her blouse.)
Bu: The problem is keeping them apart at school isn't good enough.
I need to think of a way to keep them apart at home too.
Kodachi: Perhaps I could mix something up.
Bu: Would you cut it out with the... Wait, hmm, they have to run
that restaurant don't they?
Kodachi: Yes.
Bu: Then we'll just increase the lady's work load a little.
Kodachi: Wonderful idea, but you'll have to deal with both that
other Chinese girl and her sisters.
Bu: No problem. I got some ideas.
(Bu-kun looks absently at Kodachi then pushes his sunglasses up on
to his head while looking her over.)
Bu: What's with the blacks?
Kodachi: I'm the Black Rose.
Bu: You look... bland, like there's no life there. Don't you have
anything a little more cheery, like red or yellow?
(Kodachi looks down at herself then points to the ribbon.)
Bu: Oh gee, one little dab of color. Kodachi, you need a serious
change in style.
Kodachi: Are you implying that the way I dress in inadequate?
Bu: Implying, no. Saying, yes. Come on, let's get you some decent
clothes, something with a little more color.
(Bu-kun gets up and grabs Kodachi by the hand and begins taking
her to the door. She looks briefly at his hand then looks at him in
annoyance.)
Kodachi: You lecture me on fashion.
(Kodachi grabs Bu-kun's sunglasses and dangles them in front of his
face. Bu-kun snatches them back in annoyance then puts them on.)
Bu: You can get some real advantage in combat if an opponent can't
see your eyes.
Kodachi: {unconvinced}I'm sure.
(Bu-kun stops at the door and turns to look at her, pushing his
sunglasses back onto his forehead.)
Bu: Look, do you want to impress your man or not?
(Kodachi nods.)
Bu: Well trust me, looking so... dark all the damned time can be a
bit of a downer.
Kodachi: Very well.
(Bu-kun lowers his sunglasses again then opens the door and walks
out with Kodachi in tow.)
======================================================
(A while later Bu-kun is waiting inside a woman clothing shop,
looking at the clothes, clearly uncomfortable. A saleswoman walks
up to him.)
Saleswoman: Can I help you sir?
Bu: {nervously}Ah, me, nonono, just waiting for a... friend.
Saleswoman: {as she turns and leaves}Very well.
(Bu-kun nervously reaches out and touches one of the dresses on a
rack and quickly withdraws his hand and backs away. Finally
Kodachi comes out from a hallway in the back wearing a dressed
covered in red, yellow, and orange flowers and looks quite radiate.
Bu-kun looks at her, puts up his sunglasses, gives her a slow look
over, and blinks a few times with his mouth slightly open. Kodachi
looks at him curiously then folds her arms in annoyance.)
Kodachi: Well?
Bu: Hmh? {shaking himself back to reality}Ah, umm, great. Much
better.
Kodachi: I'm glad you approve. {as she looks at herself}Actually,
I like it. It's sort of... warm and... cheerful.
Bu: Like I said, bright cheery colors. Now let's pay for that and-
Kodachi: {as she goes to another rack}Just a moment Bu. I'm not
finished. You don't expect a woman of style to wear one measly
dress do you.
Bu: No, I guess not. Just be quick.
Kodachi: {as she looks through the dresses}Why don't you try
some?
Bu: HEY! That's not funny!
Kodachi: {with a smile, as she looks through the dresses}You
complain about my style, what about yours? Do you always wear
that armor?
Bu: {nervously}Well, ahh-
Kodachi: {with a smile, as she looks through the dresses}Exactly.
Bu: There's no way I'm wearing another dress, you hear me?!
(Kodachi considers briefly, looking at another colorful dress.)
Kodachi: Very well, maybe something else then.
======================================================
(A short time later Bu-kun is standing in front of mirror dressed in a
suit (his sunglasses in the coat pocket). Kodachi looks at him from
behind and nods in approval.)
Kodachi: There, infinitely better.
Bu: I guess so. I'm just not much into fashion, it's a girl thing.
(Kodachi scowls.)
Kodachi: That's quite the chauvinistic attitude. You'd think being a
woman you'd-
Bu: Would you be quiet about that already!
(Kodachi frowns then turns and begins to walk off. Bu-kun looks
briefly at the mirror then grabs up a few boxes to the side and
quickly chases after her. They stop at a cash register to pay the
clerk. After paying they walk out to the market street, both quiet.)
Bu: Okay, okay, so I'm uncomfortable with my girl half, but that's
understandable, isn't it?
Kodachi: Perhaps.
Bu: I mean... {pause}I tried being a girl once.
(Kodachi looks at Bu-kun curiously.)
Bu: Well, I thought I might have to live that way, but I didn't like it,
not one bit.
Kodachi: I see.
Bu: All that cooking, cleaning, dressing up, making yourself up,
styling the hair, trying to look {mockingly}pretty... Bah!
Kodachi: *Laugh*
Bu: What?
Kodachi: Is that all you think we do?
Bu: Well, it is, isn't it?
Kodachi: No wonder women avoid you.
Bu: Hey! That's cause of this damned curse!
Kodachi: Perhaps.
(Bu-kun is about to retort but closes his mouth and thinks. Kodachi
stops in front of a small cafe.)
Bu: You really think-
Kodachi: Just a thought.
(Bu-kun looks at the ground, uncertain. Kodachi walks into the cafe
and Bu-kun quickly races after her. They sit down at a table and
Kodachi begins examining the menu.)
Kodachi: What have you planned?
Bu: Huh? Oh, well I got a little nausea gas, lasts about a day. That
should take care of Akane. Of course I'll have to use it every night,
but that shouldn't be too much of a problem. I think her other sisters
have other chores so they shouldn't be a problem. As for that
Chinese girl, well I know she's got a little problem with pain. One
minor little injury should put her out of action for a while.
Kodachi: Wonderful. {pause}I'm still curious about how you had
me transferred without me knowing.
Bu: I have my methods, trade secrets I'm afraid. {as he gets up}Be
right back.
(Kodachi nods and continues to examine the menu as Bu-kun walks
off to the back. A short time passes and group of four rather rough
looking boys walk in. Kodachi absently looks up at them then
returns her attention to the menu. The boys sit at a table, talking
loudly amongst themselves. One notices Kodachi and points her out
to the others. One nods, smoothes out his hair and walks over and
sits down across from her, an arrogant smile on his face. Kodachi
eyes him in mild annoyance.)
Boy: Hi there cutee.
Kodachi: {with a calm smile}I believe you've taken my
companion's seat.
Boy: Too bad for him. {leaning over to her}Let's say me and you
go out.
Kodachi: {with a calm smile}I'm afraid I have other plans.
Boy: They just changed.
(Bu-kun returns and stops when he notices the boy. His eyes narrow
and he grabs his sunglasses, flips them open and puts them on. He
walks up behind the boy and taps him on the shoulder. The boy
turns arrogantly while his buddies watch in anticipation. Kodachi
watches in mixed confusion and interest.)
Bu: You're bothering the lady.
Boy: {sarcastically}Oh, really. I'm sorry about that.
(Bu-kun slowly nods then suddenly grabs the boy by the throat and
hauls him to his feet.)
Bu: Maybe I didn't make myself perfectly clear, I want you gone,
now!
(The boy shoves Bu-kun back, causing Bu to let him go, then draws
a knife. Meanwhile the staff and other customers take cover. The
other boys get to their feet. Kodachi seems to be in slight shock.)
Boy: You're going to pay for that.
(Bu-kun merely smiles. The boy lunges with his knife but Bu-kun
easily dodges to the side, grabs the boy's outstretched arm, twists it
(causing him to drop the knife in pain), then send him tumbling to the
floor with a simple one arm throw. The other boys approach Bu-
kun from behind as he turns to the boy on the floor. The boys from
behind start to rush Bu-kun but he jumps, spinning, into the air and
kicks them all in the head, throwing them to the floor. The first boy
attempts to tackle Bu-kun as he lands but Bu-kun merely steps to the
side, grabs the boy's arms, crosses them across his back, then
proceeds to throw him through the door. Another boy gets up and
attempt to punch Bu-kun but instead finds himself flying through the
window from another of Bu-kun's throws. The other two boys
attempt a combined attack of punches yet Bu-kun flips over them and
kicks both in the back, sending them also through the window into
the street.)
Bu: {as he walks out the door}Excuse me. I'll be right back.
(Outside several screams and crashes are heard and several of the
boys are seen flying through the air. Finally after a minute Bu-kun
returns inside, dusting himself off, totally unhurt. The customers and
staff come out, surprised and shocked. Kodachi seems stunned, and
can only look at Bu-kun as he sits down.)
Bu: {to a waiter}Sorry about the mess.
Waiter: {nervously}No problem man. No problem at all.
Bu: {to Kodachi}You okay?
(Kodachi can only nod.)
Bu: Good.
(Bu-kun picks up a menu and starts examining it. After a moment of
looking at him Kodachi returns her attention back to her own menu.)
======================================================
(The next morning Shampoo awakens next to Ranma-kun in the dojo.
She smiles briefly then looks across at the pin in the wall and
scowls. Soon Li walk up to the dojo entrance and watches as
Shampoo examines the pin at close range.)
Soon Li: See anything yet?
Shampoo: I see every-
Soon Li: Can see.
Shampoo: *sigh*Can see every little scratch, shade and scuff on
this stupid pin.
Soon Li: That's good but you're not yet done.
Shampoo: What are we supposed to see?
Soon Li: That would be revealing. Sorry, you'll just have to find
out yourself.
Shampoo: *sigh*
Soon Li: Unfortunately I got more bad news.
(Shampoo looks at Soon Li questioningly.)
Soon Li: Akane's not feeling well so you'll have to take her place
in the Nekohanten.
Shampoo: Awhh, why can't Perfume do it by herself?
Soon Li: I'm afraid she had a little accident yesterday and twisted
her ankle. She won't be able to help out for at least a week.
Shampoo: But Soon Li, couldn't maybe Nabiki or-
Soon Li: You know the deal Shampoo. Kasumi helps out with the
house work and Nabiki handles the books.
Shampoo: Mmm, oh, all right, but I was hoping to learn this
technique.
Soon Li: {as she leaves}It will wait.
Ranma: *yawn*
(Shampoo looks over at Ranma-kun who is now sitting up.)
Ranma: Stuck working huh?
(Shampoo nods in response then gets up and follows after Soon Li.)
======================================================
(Later that day at Furiken Bu-kun sits on the school roof looking
down at the students in the field. Among them Shampoo and
Kodachi (a bright red and yellow ribbon in her hair) are playing a
game of softball with their fellow female students while the boys
are playing a game of soccer. Kodachi looks up briefly at Bu-kun
who waves and pulls out a small blue ball. Bu-kun waits till the
teams start to switch sides then throws his projectile right on target,
directly at Shampoo. As Shampoo's team gathers for batting Sayuri
looks around. Kodachi walks up behind her.)
Sayuri: Hey, where'd Shampoo go?
Kodachi: Oh, I believe she had to run off.
(A short distance away Shampoo-cat shakes angrily while watching
this. She shakes her head then heads off towards the locker room.
Kodachi sees her go, then smiles as she absently drops Shampoo's
gym clothes in a nearby trash can. Bu-kun also watches this and
smiles as Shampoo slips inside the locker room. He pulls out a
strip of white cloth.)
Bu: Too late cat. Your clothes had a little accident.
(Bu-kun smiles then lets the piece of cloth drop down to the ground
below. He looks back down at the field where Kodachi is readying
to bat and looks at her a long while. His eyes avert to the roof and
he gets up to leave. Just as he does so Kodachi looks up to watch
him leave. She's so distracted that the first pitch goes by without
her noticing.)
Umpire: Strike one!
Sayuri: Hey, Kodachi, get with the program.
(Kodachi blinks then turns her attention to the game.)
======================================================
(Several days later Kodachi walks up behind Ranma-kun as he
walks home, a perplexed look on his face.)
Kodachi: Hello lover.
(Ranma-kun jerks around with a start and looks at Kodachi with a
mixed expression of fear and shock.)
Ranma: {nervously}Ahh, Kodachi, what you doing here?
Kodachi: I thought I'd accompany you home since Ms. Tendo seems
to have abandoned you yet again.
Ranma: {nervously}That's not really necessary.
Kodachi: Oh, it's no trouble at all lover.
(Kodachi smiles seductively at Ranma-kun who responds with a
nervous swallow.)
Ranma: *sigh*Oh, all right.
(Ranma-kun continues on walking with Kodachi now beside him.)
Ranma: Look, Kodachi, I want you to stop this.
Kodachi: Whatever do you mean?
Ranma: Forcing Shampoo to go everyday.
Kodachi: I have done nothing to the cat girl.
Ranma: Kodachi-
Kodachi: I give you my word, I have done nothing to her.
Ranma: And what about Bu?
Kodachi: I have no control over his actions. You do not hold me
responsible for him do you?
Ranma: Well, no but he is staying at your place.
Kodachi: He is working off his stay. Would you have me throw
him out because of your allegations?
Ranma: Ahhh, no, I guess not.
(Ranma-kun looks up to find himself outside the entrance to the
Tendo residence. He opens the gate then turns back to Kodachi and
finds her gone. In her place he finds a bouquet of black roses. He
looks up and down the street cautiously, nudges the flowers with his
foot and when nothing happens picks them up. He looks at the
flowers in confusion then shakes his head and walks inside. Across
the street, on the roof top Bu-kun sits, a frown on his face. He sits
there thinking for a moment then finally gets up and leaps off. He
begins walking down an adjacent street.)
Bu: [What's with me? Am I losing my nerve or something? This is
to get back at the cat, so why am I starting to dislike this?
{pause}Damn, that jerk treats her like dirt. I mean, can't he see she
loves him. He toys with something I'd die to have. {pause}Hmh,
yeah, what would a girl see in me, another girl? {pause}What am I
anyway? Some sort of weird Lesbian.]
(Bu-kun tenses up.)
Bu: [Man, why couldn't my life just be normal? Why couldn't I
have just been told the truth? Then at least I could live as a girl.
Grrr, but I'm not a girl, I'm a guy, a guy. This is all that damned
cat's fault! I'm even beginning to doubt myself cause of her.]
(Bu-kun walks by a street crossing where Kodachi is leaning against
the wall, out of his sight. She walks up behind him, smiling
deviously.)
Kodachi: Are you spying on me?
(Bu-kun spins around in surprise.)
Bu: {startled}Kodachi?! Ah, no... I mean, yes... I mean sort of.
(Kodachi eyes him curiously.)
Bu: Well, I just wanted to see how you were doing with him.
Kodachi: I'm doing quite well. Have you no trust in my abilities?
Bu: Nono, I trust your abilities. It's just that he's being stubborn.
Kodachi: {with a nod}Hmh.
(Kodachi walks by Bu-kun and continues on up the street. Bu-kun
follows after her, pushing his sunglasses onto his forehead. They
walk in silence for several moments, Bu-kun thinking. Kodachi
occasionally gives Bu-kun a side glance, then scowls to herself.)
Bu: So, ah, what exactly made you... interested in this Ranma guy?
Kodachi: He saved my life.
Bu: Huh?
Kodachi: Well I was paying a visit to Ms. Tendo before our match
but was most rudely clubbed on the head upon leaving. My darling
Ranma saved me from a most nasty fall.
Bu: {fuming}That stupid cat attacked you when you were leaving?!
Kodachi: {with a devious smile}Why yes, most dishonorable.
Bu: You're telling me. {pause}So he's the heroic type huh?
Kodachi: Yes.
Bu: Hmm, what else did he do?
(Kodachi considers for a second then turns her attention to the road
ahead.)
Bu: [Hey, maybe... Wait a sec, what am I thinking? She's my best
chance at getting back at that damned cat. I can't mess that up. Got
to straighten my head out here. {pause}Besides, all am to her is
some crazy girl.]
(Bu-kun looks at Kodachi for a moment without her noticing then
shakes his head and looks down at the ground. Kodachi takes a
quick glance at him then looks away. Her expression changes to a
frown of concentration.)
======================================================
(Shampoo arrives at home late that night and heads through the
darkened house to the dojo.)
Shampoo: *yawn*
(She looks in and sees Ranma-kun passed out on the floor, still
facing the pin. She watches him sleep for a moment sadly then
walks over, looks briefly at the pin and grabs up a blanket and puts
it over him. She then drops down onto her own bedding and lays
down.)
Shampoo: [I sick of this. Every damned day. I swear when get
chance at her...]
(Shampoo closes her eyes and shakes her head in exasperation.)
Shampoo: [Can't let her get to me.] *sigh*
======================================================
(The next day Kodachi, dressed in flowery bright work clothes, is
tending to a black rose bush in her greenhouse, when Bu-kun walks
in and leans against a table behind her, pushing his sunglasses onto
his forehead and folding his arms in front of him.)
Kodachi: Is there something I can do for you Bu?
Bu: Look, this is getting increasingly difficult to keep them apart.
Sooner or later someone's going to catch me at the Tendos' and
Perfume's nearly back on her feet.
Kodachi: This was your plan. Work out the problems.
Bu: Even if I do I can't keep this up. You're going to have to get
more serious here.
Kodachi: Unfortunately I gave my word to leave Ranma to that girl
and this is as much as I can do without breaking it.
Bu: Well, can't you beat her or something?
Kodachi: I thought you didn't want her physically hurt?
(Bu-kun falls silent as he thinks. Kodachi finishes with the bush she
was working on and begins walking slowly down the aisle, pruning
a stray branch every so often.)
Bu: Yeah, and I don't think it would be wise to attack her anyway.
Girly-man is kind of attached to her. {long pause}Wait, if she
attacked you...
Kodachi: Shouldn't be too hard to trigger that. She's quite upset as
is. Give her one day with me and I should be able to trigger an
attack. Then what?
Bu: One good gas bomb should do it.
Kodachi: You underestimate her. Even I must admit she's good
enough to deal with that. She'd expect it.
Bu: Hmmm. {pause}Another delivery technique, need another
delivery technique.
Kodachi: Yes.
(Kodachi stops in front of a yellow rose bush and frowns.)
Kodachi: Perhaps I could modify one of my tools, a club perhaps.
Bu: Yeah, maybe. Should work. If she's mad enough she probably
won't expect it.
(Kodachi cuts off a yellow rose, smells it then turns and walks back
to Bu-kun.)
Bu: Just be sure to play defensive. You don't want Ranma to have
an excuse to get mad at you.
Kodachi: Of course.
(Kodachi considers for a moment as Bu-kun thinks. She seems
unsure for a second then shrugs, turns and taps Bu-kun on the
forehead with the stem of the rose.)
Kodachi: Just be sure to leave her be tomorrow. Can't provoke
someone who isn't there.
Bu: Do I look like an idiot? Of course.
(Kodachi smiles in amusement then turns and walks off, exiting the
greenhouse. Bu-kun watches her go with a slight scowl. He moves
to put his sunglasses back on but finds the yellow rose in his hair.
He pulls it out, looks at it in confusion then looks back at the door.)
Bu: [Could she... Ahh, just wishful thinking. {pause}Man, I'm
going to be glad when this is all over.]
(Bu-kun looks down at the rose again a look of longing in his eyes.
He shakes his head, puts on his sunglasses and follows Kodachi,
putting the rose in his shirt.)
======================================================
(The next day Shampoo nervously walks beside Ranma-kun as they
enter the school.)
Shampoo: I no like this.
Ranma: Don't-
Shampoo: {annoyed}You know what I mean!
Ranma: Well then say it.
Shampoo: {annoyed}Mmm.
Ranma: Look, Shampoo, relax already.
Shampoo: {angrily}How can... {pause}*deep breath*{normal
voice}Okay, but this is getting ridiculous.
Ranma: We'll catch him sooner or later.
Shampoo: Hope it is sooner. I running... I'm running out of clothes.
(Ranma-kun and Shampoo turn and enter their classroom. Kodachi
sits by the window. She turns to briefly smile at them. Ranma-kun
gets nervous while Shampoo fumes. Ranma-kun and Shampoo take
their seats as the class begins to settle in. Kodachi turns her
attention back to her book. She draws a line across the paper, then
two circles along the line. She fills in the circles then looks at the
doodle with a confused scowl. Finally she scratches out the
drawing but then begins thinking.)
======================================================
(Later that day Ranma-kun pulls Shampoo out from the school as she
nervous looks about.)
Ranma: Relax already. He can't try anything while you're with me.
(Shampoo seems unsure then allows Ranma-kun to lead her out into
the school yard. A short distance away Kodachi watches then
begins to approach the couple.)
Kodachi: Why hello Ranma, {pause}Shampoo.
Shampoo: {grudgingly}Hello. What you want?
Kodachi: I just came to visit with my darling Ranma.
Ranma: Kodachi, I don't want any trouble today.
Kodachi: Trouble? Have I caused trouble since I arrived here?
Ranma: Ahh, no.
Kodachi: Well then, there should be no trouble if I join you.
(Shampoo gives Ranma an angry look but he just shrugs.)
Ranma: Come on Shampoo, she's telling the truth.
Shampoo: Half truth. {pause then grudgingly}Fine.
(Shampoo angrily shakes her head then goes and sits down by a tree.
Ranma gestures for Kodachi to sit down then sits next to Shampoo.
Kodachi complies.)
Kodachi: So, {to Shampoo}where have you been going off to
lately?
(Shampoo glares angrily at Kodachi then closes her eyes, clenching
her fists together in her lap.)
Ranma: She's been having lousy luck with water. You wouldn't
happen to know anything about that would you?
Kodachi: Me?
Ranma: Never mind.
(The three go into a tense silence. After a moment Kodachi smiles
deviously.)
Kodachi: So, Ranma, we never did get to finish our conversation
yesterday.
Ranma: {nervously}Ahhh, conversation?
(Shampoo looks at Ranma-kun with a scowl.)
Kodachi: Why yes, you remember, we were discussing the
inadequacies of the gymnastics program here.
Ranma: {nervously}Ah, oh yeah, I seem to remember that.
Shampoo: {fuming}When this happen?
Ranma: {nervously}Well-
Kodachi: I believe we were discussing it our way home together.
Shampoo: {angrily}WHAT?!! What she mean home together?
Ranma: {extremely nervous}Shampoo, it's not what it seems like.
(Shampoo angrily turns on Kodachi who remain calm, but amused.)
Shampoo: {angrily}Ranma is my fiancee, no yours! You stay
away!
Kodachi: I think that it is Ranma's decision who he spends time
with.
(Shampoo, boiling over with rage, gets up and takes a threatening
step towards Kodachi. Kodachi responds by flipping backwards to
her feet. Ranma-kun also jumps up and steps between them.)
Ranma: Shampoo, calm down.
Shampoo: {irate}Out of way, Shampoo can take no more from her!
Kodachi: Can't even have a civil conversation.
(Kodachi shakes her head in mock disappointment. Shampoo shakes
angrily then rushes her, pushing Ranma-kun aside. Kodachi drops
back into a defensive posture as Shampoo begins letting off a hail of
kicks and punches. Kodachi blocks and dodges a few, taking a few
hits then flips into the air, drawing two gymnastic clubs. She lands
to face Shampoo as she rushes at her.)
Kodachi: Attack of a thousand clubs!
(Shampoo crashes into the assault and begins blocking the blows
and sending in ones of her own. Ranma-kun rushes over but stands
aside, not knowing what to do.)
Shampoo: {irate}[Shampoo make her pay!!!]
(The exchange continues for another few seconds but suddenly
Shampoo blinks. Time seems to slow as Shampoo blocks one club
off to the side and watches as Kodachi pulls back another to strike.
Shampoo goes wide eyed as she notices Kodachi's fingers change
position just slightly, barely noticeably, on the club. Shampoo then
starts to jump backwards. Just then a spray of purple mist shots out
of the club, just barely hitting Shampoo. She drops to the ground,
coughing and holding her head. Ranma-kun rushes over to her.
Kodachi winches in pain as she rubs her shoulder but holds her
position.)
Ranma: {concerned}Shampoo, are you okay?
(Shampoo weakly nods.)
Ranma: {sternly}What did you think you were doing?
(Shampoo looks down at the ground and shakes her head in a
confused mix of anger and guilt.)
Shampoo: Shampoo... Shampoo... {pause}I sorry Ranma, could no
control myself.
(Shampoo looks up at Ranma, a pleading look on her face. Ranma-
kun looks back at Kodachi who is still nursing her wounds.)
Ranma: *sigh*This has got to stop. {pause then to Shampoo}Can
you walk?
(Shampoo nods as she stands up.)
Ranma: I want you to go home.
Shampoo: But Ranma-
Ranma: Go home Shampoo. You need to calm down.
(Shampoo looks off to the side in guilt then reluctantly nods and
begins to slowly walk off. Ranma-kun turns and walks over to
Kodachi.)
Kodachi: Sent her off did you, it's for the best.
Ranma: Kodachi, that's it. I want this to stop right now.
Kodachi: Whatever cou-
Ranma: {sternly}You know exactly what I mean! You and Bu are
trying to break up me and Shampoo. I can tell you right now it isn't
going to work.
(Kodachi's expression changes to a neutral, passive look.)
Ranma: You provoked her and you know it. {pause}Look, I won't
let this continue. If I have to fight you, or Bu, or both of you I will.
(Kodachi thinks for a second, then nods one time. Ranma-kun then
turns and walks off after Shampoo. Kodachi watches him go then
looks off to the side, lost in thought. After a brief moment she turns
and heads back to the school.)
======================================================
(Shampoo walks down the street, her head hung. She rubs her eyes
with the back of her hand, stifles a sob then stops and looks absently
at the street wall.)
Shampoo: [Stupid. She played me like a... a... fiddle or whatever.
{pause}Damn! What's Ranma think of me? If I can let someone get
to me that much...]
(Shampoo shakes her head but looks behind her as she hears Ranma-
kun's footsteps.)
Shampoo: Ranma?
Ranma: You feeling better now?
Shampoo: *sigh*I... I'm sorry Ranma. I lost my head. I shouldn't
have attacked her.
Ranma: She was provoking you, I'm actually surprised you lasted
as long as you did.
(Shampoo looks away.)
Shampoo: It still was stupid.
(Ranma-kun wraps his arm over her shoulder.)
Ranma: Yeah, well, who hasn't done stupid things around here?
Come on, if they want to keep us apart at school, then we just won't
stay.
(Shampoo looks at Ranma then smiles as they continue on their way.
In the shadows of a shop down the street Bu-kun watches this then
loses himself in thought.)
Bu: [Damn. This isn't working.] {pause}*sigh*
(Bu-kun shakes his head then suddenly looks perplexed.)
Bu: [Why doesn't that really upset me?]
(Bu-kun thinks for a moment then begins to walk off, a new look of
confusion on his face.)
======================================================
(Later that night Kodachi walks down a hall in the Kuno mansion to
Bu's room. She turns and looks through the open door to see Bu-kun
sitting on the end of the bed, brooding, his sunglasses covering his
eyes.)
Kodachi: Your little plan backfired.
Bu: I know.
Kodachi: Well then, what now?
Bu: Nothing.
Kodachi: What? Are you giving up?
Bu: Yes, I am.
Kodachi: But-
Bu: Kodachi, it isn't working. I was right in the first place. Those
two won't be broken apart without something drastic and this isn't
it.
Kodachi: Then a different-
Bu: No, the only thing that I think would work is putting her out of
the way permanently and I won't do that.
Kodachi: {as she turns to leave}Then perhaps I no longer need you.
(Bu-kun jumps to his feet and grabs Kodachi by the arm and pulls
her around to face him.)
Kodachi: {annoyed}Unhand me.
Bu: So that's it huh? All you care about is getting your stupid
Ranma?
(Kodachi remains silent, staring in annoyance at Bu-kun. He pushes
up his sunglasses and looks at her.)
Bu: What's it going to take to get you to wise up? Maybe you'll
realize when he comes after you for killing her.
(Kodachi diverts her eyes to the side.)
Bu: The way you're going that's how it's going to end up.
(Kodachi wrenches her arm from Bu-kun's grip and starts to walk
up the hall, slight anger showing on her face. Bu-kun comes into the
hallway after her.)
Bu: You don't need him Kodachi.
(Kodachi stops, her back turned to Bu-kun.)
Bu: What's he ever done for you anyway? Anything at all? Has he
ever even treated you with anything more that common courtesy, if
even that?
(Bu-kun looks at Kodachi stand silently in the hall. He looks unsure
for a second then pulls out the yellow rose from his armor.)
Bu: And what about this? Why'd you give this to me?
(Kodachi looks over her shoulder at Bu-kun holding the rose. She
thinks for a moment then looks away again.)
Kodachi: {quietly}I don't really know.
Bu: Give up on him Kodachi.
Kodachi: I can't.
Bu: Why?
(Kodachi remains silent. Bu-kun waits a moment then continues.)
Bu: You have to. You'll end up with nothing if you continue on this
path. {pause}I... If you want someone, what about me?
Kodachi: You?
Bu: What's wrong with me?
Kodachi: You are a woman.
(Bu-kun clenches his fist and bows his head in disappointment. He
starts to turn then stops.)
Bu: [Come on Bu! Are you a man or a girl?]
(Bu-kun turns back to Kodachi, determined.)
Bu: I have the body of a man. I have the mind of a man. The only
thing that says I'm a woman is the temperature of the damned water!
(Kodachi remains silent. Bu-kun's determination melts away. After
a moment he sadly shakes his head but then continues.)
Bu: Fine, chase after him. I'm not going to force someone into
anything.
(Bu-kun turns back to go into his room.)
Bu: I guess I'll be leaving.
(Bu-kun walks into his room. Kodachi remains in the hall, looking
confused and tense. She clenches her eyes closed then rubs away a
tear that starts to form.)
Kodachi: Wait!
(Kodachi turns and rushes back to the door of Bu's room. He looks
at her questioningly, and hopefully.)
Kodachi: You don't realizing what you're asking of me.
Bu: I know perfectly well what I'm asking you to do, to give up on
someone you love. It's not an easy thing, I know.
Kodachi: And how do you know I will treat you better than him?
Bu: I don't. I can just tell you that you don't need to bother with the
tricks. Besides, I know my chemistry too you know.
(Kodachi looks down at the floor, considers then looks up with an
semi-amused smile.)
Kodachi: Then I guess Ms. Tendo wins after all.
(Bu-kun seems almost shocked for moment then smiles and takes a
hold of Kodachi's shoulder.)
Bu: You really mean that?
(Kodachi reluctantly nods.)
Bu: You got some potential. {pause}We'll tell them tomorrow.
(Kodachi nods again, reluctantly, then turns and leaves. Bu-kun
turns away from the door then clenches his fist in triumph.)
Bu: {overjoyed}YES!! Finally.
Kuno: I'm glad to see you are happy.
(Bu-kun spins quickly around in surprise to face Kuno who is
standing in the doorway.)
Bu: What do you want Tatewaki?
(Kuno's eyes narrow in annoyance.)
Kuno: Just let it be known that if you violate my sister, or mistreat
her in any way there is no place on this planet you can hide.
(Bu-kun blinks in shock.)
Bu: Wouldn't dream of it.
(Kuno nods then turns and leaves. Bu-kun shakes his head in
confusion.)
======================================================
(The next morning Shampoo, Ranma-kun, Ryoga, and Akane are on
their way to school. They approach the school and Shampoo begins
to slow, nervous. The others see this and stop.)
Ranma: Come on Shampoo. Akane's fine today. Maybe they gave
up.
Shampoo: More likely they have new plan.
Akane: {angrily}If they try anything they're toast. I didn't exactly
enjoy not being able to stomach food for a week. I'll be all too glad
to pay them back.
(Ryoga nods in agreement. Shampoo nods then continues on and the
others continue as well. They make it inside then stop instantly upon
seeing Bu-kun and Kodachi (who stares off at the wall) by the
school door. Ranma-kun and the others tense up for a fight.)
Ranma: Just great.
Ryoga: All right, if they want a fight-
Bu: Calm down you morons, we're here to talk, not fight.
(Ranma-kun and the others wait, uncertain.)
Bu: {pointing at Akane}This doesn't concern you or the pig. Just
the girly-man and the cat.
Akane: {angrily}You are a total asshole you-
Shampoo: Akane, we'll be fine, just go before get too angry.
(Akane looks at Shampoo then calms and, taking a hold of Ryoga's
arm, heads past Kodachi and Bu-kun into the school.)
Bu: All right, we're here to call a truce.
Ranma: Truce huh? We still don't know what Shampoo supposedly
did to you.
Bu: It's not important anymore. I'm still not pleased but I've
decided to stop wasting my time on revenge.
Shampoo: Hmmph.
Bu: {angrily}Be glad I don't kill or you'd have been six feet under
right now.
(Shampoo glares at Bu-kun in challenge but he just looks aside
angrily.)
Ranma: And Kodachi?
(Kodachi finally turns her attention to Ranma.)
Kodachi: What is there to say Ranma? It is over, {with an amused
smile}you missed your chance.
(Kodachi walks into the school. Bu-kun turns briefly to watch her
leave then turns back to Shampoo and Ranma-kun.)
Bu: You got nothing to worry about from us anymore, I give you my
word.
(Bu-kun starts to walk past them but then stops and looks back at
Shampoo.)
Bu: Enjoy your life cat. You don't realize that you've been given
that which so many search their whole lives for.
(Bu-kun continues on his way. Shampoo and Ranma-kun watch him
go in confusion. Bu-kun continues on his way till he leaves their
sight.)
%End Part 3
======================================================
%Part 4
(Ukyo stands at the grill in Ucchan's, cooking several okonomiyaki
as Mousse is taking an order from some customers at a table. Ukyo
flips an okonomiyaki onto a plate in front of a customer at the grill
then looks up at a clock and looks confused. She shrugs then
continues her work. Time passes till the crowd thins out to nothing
and Ukyo begins cleaning the grill as Mousse carries dishes into the
back room.)
Ukyo: I wonder where Perfume is. She's always here by now.
Mousse: Don't know.
(Mousse walks into the back room.)
Ukyo: Maybe she finally gave up.
Mousse(from the back room): You wish.
Ukyo: I can hope can't I?
(Mousse walks back out into the dinning area.)
Mousse: Yeah, I suppose. Then again, you're dealing with an
Amazon woman. Hope is nearly all you got.
Ukyo: *small laugh*{amused and sarcastic}You really know how
to brighten up my day, you know that?
(Mousse smiles slightly in response then looks to the door as it
slides open. Perfume walks in, looking like she hasn't slept in a
week. Ukyo looks at her in confused concern.)
Ukyo: What happened to you?
Perfume: *yawn*I... *yawn*
(Perfume weakly walks over to the grill, sits down on a chair and
looks up at Ukyo with a tired smile.)
Perfume: Cologne... *yawn*Cologne... she make... *yawn*make me
work off time spent wi...*yawn*th injury.
(Perfume rests her head on the bench and begins to nod off.)
Ukyo: That's not fair. It wasn't your fault.
Perfume: {sleepily}She always do this to me. No matter if my
mistake or not, she punish me anyway.
Ukyo: Well that's stupid. Why don't you stay here-
Perfume: {sleepily}No... no.... no.... Have to... work. Just come
for short... short visit with... with... {very quietly}Ukyo... hmmm.
(Perfume's eyes close as she completely nods off to sleep. Ukyo
looks over at Mousse with a shake of her head. He responds with a
shrug.)
Ukyo: That old lady runs her into the ground.
Mousse: Not much you can do about it.
Ukyo: Well this is no good. No wonder she has no real social life,
Cologne won't let her have one. And then there's this marriage
thing... How am I supposed to get her to give up on me if Cologne is
encouraging the marriage and giving her no other options?
Mousse: I'm not so sure she'd be interested in other options. I
really think she loves you.
Ukyo: Please don't say that. I'm getting enough weird looks at
school. At least they think I'm a guy. I'd never live this down if
they knew I was a girl. {pause}Well, I'm going to do something
about this.
(Ukyo starts to walk to the door.)
Mousse: Where you going?
Ukyo: To have a chat with Cologne. Could you put Perfume in my
room for now? She's needs to sleep.
Mousse: Yeah, sure.
(Ukyo walks out the door. Mousse looks over at the sleeping
Perfume and then scowls. He shakes his head, walks over, scoops
her up and begins to walk with her to the back room.)
Perfume: {in her sleep}Ukyo...
(Mousse looks down at Perfume as she smiles slightly. He finally
lays her down on Ukyo's bed then heads out, thinking.)
Mousse: [What am I waiting for?]
(Mousse goes over to the grill and begins absently cleaning it off.)
Mousse: [Maybe I should just ask... No, no, too forward. That's
how I messed it up with Shampoo. Got to be more subtle.] Hmmm.
(Mousse stops his cleaning and leans against the wall, deep in
thought. Just then the door slides open and a raged Ryoga falls in
and onto the floor. Mousse gives him a curious glance as he reaches
his feet.)
Ryoga: Finally, someplace familiar.
Mousse: Lost again were we?
(Ryoga nods and weakly makes his way to the grill where he falls
onto a chair.)
Ryoga: Now, if I take a left and go 6 kilometers then 7 rights and
another 12 kilometers I should be right at the dojo, right?
(Mousse responds by slowly shaking his head.)
Ryoga: Damn.
Mousse: Why don't I just call someone to come get you.
Ryoga: Maybe you better.
(Mousse nods than moves into the back for a moment. Ryoga sits on
the chair, recovering. After a minute Mousse returns.)
Mousse: Akane's on her way right now.
Ryoga: Thanks. It's going to be so nice to see her again. It feels
like it's been a week.
Mousse: Probably has been. {pause}So, how's it going with you
two? Make any progress?
Ryoga: {nervously}Ahh... well, you know, these things take time.
(Mousse nods while Ryoga starts to nervously fiddle with his
fingers.)
Ryoga: I mean, I want to, and I would but things just keep getting in
the way.
Mousse: Yeah, I know the problem.
Ryoga: Well, there was that pervert Happosai.
Mousse: [Cologne giving Ukyo that cat tongue point.]
Ryoga: Then there was this whole thing with Bu kidnapping
Shampoo, it wouldn't have been right then.
Mousse: [Yeah, not very appropriate.]
Ryoga: Of course then Akane got sick for that week and we
couldn't do anything then.
Mousse: [And Perfume was spending all her off time here, admiring
Ukyo, while her ankle healed.]
Ryoga: Then I got lost... You see what I mean?
Mousse: [Hmmm, but I had a chance then, why didn't I take it?]
Mmhuh, but now you have a chance. [So do I.]
Ryoga: {nervously}Now?
Mousse: [Why not?] Why not?
Ryoga: {nervously}Well, ah, I don't want to scare her off by being
too... ah... forward.
Mousse: [Exactly.] Yeah, maybe you're right.
Ryoga: But maybe...
Mousse: [Hmmm.]
Ryoga: I could ask her out.
Mousse: [Yeah.]
Ryoga: With nothing in the way maybe...
Mousse: [Hmmm, yeah, I can't stay in neutral forever.]
Ryoga: Do you know a good place to take her?
Mousse: {to himself}The fair's a good place.
Ryoga: Yeah, a fair, that sounds good.
Mousse: {to himself}If I ask Ukyo and she agrees... Hmmm.
Ryoga: Huh? Hey, you're coming to help me out. Thanks.
Mousse: {shaking himself back to reality}Huh? Ah... yeah. Why
not? [Actually, that's perfect.]
(Just then Akane walks in and walks over to Ryoga. He nearly falls
off his chair upon seeing her approach.)
Akane: {sternly}So, where have you been?
Ryoga: {nervously}Me?! I... I... I... was-
Akane: {with a smile}Oh Ryoga, I was getting to miss you.
Ryoga: You were?
Akane: Of course.
Ryoga: Well, ah, Akane would you like to maybe... go out the fair...
maybe, possibly-
Akane: I'd love to. {as she takes a hold of Ryoga's hand}Come on,
don't want you getting lost again.
Ryoga: Sure.
(Mousse watches as Akane leads Ryoga out, his face turning more
red by the second.)
Mousse: [Yeah, this is perfect. If she's not interested I haven't
done anything to mess it up and if she is then...]
(Mousse seems to brighten with a smile.)
======================================================
(Over at the Nekohanten Shampoo is shaking angrily as she wipes
off a table. Cologne watches her from the kitchen with a neutral
expression. Soon Li looks between them, also from the kitchen, then
shakes her head in exasperation.)
Soon Li: Cologne.
(Cologne turns to Soon Li.)
Soon Li: Are you insistent on keeping up this mental feud with my
daughter.
Cologne: Your daughter?
Soon Li: You know what I mean.
Cologne: I'm not so sure. {pause}Anyway, my actions are my own
to choose. I will not have you-
Ukyo: {as she comes in}All right Cologne, I want to talk.
(Cologne turns to Ukyo with a slight peak of interest. Soon Li glares
briefly at Cologne's back then reluctantly returns to her work.
Shampoo looks up from her work at Ukyo.)
Cologne: What can I do for you Ms. Kuonji?
Ukyo: I want you to stop pushing Perfume onto me. It's not right.
Cologne: It's our law. It is merely fortunate she has taken a liking
to you.
Ukyo: I don't give one iota about your stupid laws! I'm not going to
be marrying her.
Cologne: We'll see about that.
(Ukyo gives Cologne a brief angry stare.)
Ukyo: Can't you at least lay off the girl and let her have a life?
Cologne: She is behind in her training and still very inadequate.
Ukyo: You got a strange definition of inadequacy. I thought she was
the best in the village.
Cologne: She has ability in a tournament but her skills in battle
leave much to be desired.
Ukyo: Battle?! When are you... Oh, never mind. That's still no
excuse to run her into the ground like that.
Cologne: My training methods are not your concern.
(Cologne turns and heads further into the kitchen, out of view. Ukyo
watches her go in annoyance and gives Shampoo a brief look.)
Shampoo: There is no point in talking to her. She never listens.
Ukyo: I'm beginning to agree with you. *sigh*{Calling
out}Couldn't you at least give her the night off. She's exhausted.
Cologne (unseen): She has her chores to attend to, and her work,
and her training. Matter of fact, she falling behind even as we
speak.
(Ukyo shakes her head angrily and starts to leave but stops and
looks thoughtful.)
Ukyo: {calling out}What if I was going to take her... {pause}on a
date.
(Ukyo winces at the last word as both Soon Li and Shampoo look at
her in shock. Cologne suddenly comes out of the kitchen and eyes
Ukyo suspiciously.)
Cologne: Hmmm, well if it is true the I suppose that is adequate
reason for her to have the night off. But if I find this to be untrue-
Ukyo: It's not.
Cologne: Very well.
(Cologne hops back into the kitchen. Shampoo pulls Ukyo off to the
side.)
Shampoo: {whispering}What do you think you're doing?
Ukyo: {whispering}Getting her some time off and away from here.
She needs it.
Shampoo: {whispering}But a date? I mean, if you really want to I
guess it's okay but-
Ukyo: No! {whispering}It's not like that. {pause}Look, I'm just
going to take her out somewhere, and maybe I can explain the
situation to her properly.
Shampoo: Oh.
Ukyo: Yeah. Oh, do you know someplace nice and public so she
doesn't get too intimate?
Shampoo: Ah, there's a fair today at the park.
Ukyo: Yeah, that will do. Thanks.
(Ukyo turns and walks out. Shampoo watches her leave then shakes
her head and returns to her work.)
======================================================
(A short time later Ukyo returns to Ucchan's where Mousse is
serving two customers at the grill. He gives her a brief smile of
greeting then finishes with two okonomiyaki which he hands them.
One lays down some money and the two take their meals and leave
as Ukyo comes over.)
Mousse: Have a good day. {to Ukyo}Talk go well?
Ukyo: Sort of.
Mousse: Ah. {pause}Ah, Ukyo-
Ukyo: {leaning in close and whispering}Shhh, I got to tell you
something.
Mousse: {whispering}What?
(Ukyo looks around nervously for a moment.)
Ukyo: *sigh*{whispering}I'm taking Perfume on a date.
(Instantly Ukyo is on the floor, Perfume hugging her fiercely.
Mousse blinks in shock and surprise.)
Perfume: {Overjoyed}Is true?! Ukyo take me on date?!
Ukyo: Hey, do you mind?!
(Perfume quickly withdraws and helps Ukyo to her feet.)
Perfume: Sorry. {pause then hopeful}Is true?
Ukyo: {reluctantly}Yeah.
(Mousse's jaw drops to the grill, well as close as it can naturally
get anyway. Perfume is so excited she moves to hug Ukyo again but
stops at the last second and instead just gives her a happy smile.)
Ukyo: I got you the night off so that we can get you out of the
Nekohanten.
Perfume: {Overjoyed}Oh, is so happy!
Ukyo: I can tell. Look, Perfume, we're just going to the fair to relax
and have a little talk.
(Perfume clasps her hands in front of her joyfully then starts to rush
out the door.)
Perfume: Must get ready!
Ukyo: {calling after Perfume}We're just going to a fair, nothing
fancy! *sigh*{to Mousse in normal voice}This isn't going to be
easy.
Mousse: You're taking her on a... date?!
Ukyo: Nonono... well, yes, but it's not what you're thinking. She
needs to get away from Cologne so I can explain things to her
properly.
Mousse: {relieved}Oh.
Ukyo: Yeah, but by the looks of it she's got the completely wrong
impression. I wished she'd actually stay to listen once in a while.
Mousse: Yeah, {to himself}well, I guess Ryoga will be on his own.
Ukyo: Hmh?
Mousse: Oh, well Ryoga was taking Akane to the fair and... I know
it was a bit presumptuous but I said that we'd be there to lend moral
support, sort of.
(Ukyo looks at Mousse curiously then starts to think.)
Ukyo: Well, maybe you could come anyway, as a chaperone. I
could use the help.
Mousse: Ah, yeah, okay. [Not exactly what I had planned.]
======================================================
(That night at the fair Perfume is walking beside Ukyo, opposite
Mousse who is carrying two tanks of fish, one of goldfish, one of
piranha. Ukyo is toweling off her arm as Perfume scowls at
Mousse.)
Ukyo: Those should go well at the restaurant. Add some life to the
place.
Mousse: I still can't believe you stuck your hand in a tank of
piranha!
Perfume: Yes, Ukyo is very brave.
Ukyo: Well, they didn't really have a chance.
Man's voice: Test your daring! Face the wrath of a room full of
killer insects!
(Ukyo and others turn their attention to the voice and walk over
curiously to large stall beside a large glass enclosure. Inside the
enclosure the air is nearly black with swarming insects. A large
crowd is gathered, listening to the man behind the stand.)
Ukyo: You got to be kidding! What the heck would be worth going
in there?!
Man: Ah, that's the question isn't it.
(The man bends over behind bench and comes up with a number of
small sculptures in his hands, all made of crystal.)
Man: What would you say to this? Just capture a mere handful of
insects without getting bit and one of these could be yours.
(The crowd looks at the sculptures in awe.)
Ukyo: {as she examines a sculpture}Hmm, nice.
(Perfume looks at Ukyo for a second, then to the enclosure.)
Perfume: What get if capture all?
(The man looks at Perfume in shock for a second then recovers.)
Man: Ahh, well, I suppose you could have my whole collection, but
that's impossible.
(Perfume grins.)
Perfume: How much for try?
Ukyo: Hey, Perfume, you don't need to do this.
Perfume: No worry Ukyo, I be fine. {to the man}How much?
Man: 200 yen.
(Perfume pulls out a few bills and slams them into the man's hand.
Everyone, especially Ukyo and Mousse look at her in shock.)
======================================================
(Moments later Perfume is standing in smaller glass enclosure
connected to the larger one. The man hands her a net while the
crowd, Ukyo and Mousse just look on in shock.)
Ukyo: She is out of her mind!
Mousse: I don't know. I think she's up to something.
Man: Ready?
Perfume: I is ready.
(The man seals the smaller enclosure door then moves to slide open
the glass divider. Those watching tense up as the divider slides
back to allowing the insects in. Perfume grins and in a flash of
motion has an ax in her hand. She rushes forward, spinning the ax
so fast that only a blur is seen. She gets immersed in a cloud of
insects for a moment but the cloud quickly thins, and thins until it
completely disappears and Perfume is standing in the middle,
calmly spinning her ax between her fingers and holding the net full
of insects. The man faints. The crowd lets out a cheer as Ukyo and
Mousse just blink.)
Ukyo: {shocked}How in the... How could she of.... That's
impossible!
(Perfume walks out and over to Ukyo with a smile.)
Perfume: I do real good, yes?
Ukyo: Uhh, yeah, real good.
(Mousse looks closely at the net full of insects as the man recovers
and slowly walks over.)
Mousse: You cut off all their wings?! How?
Perfume: Oh, is simple trick. Have do that last year as training.
Ukyo: You're telling me Cologne stuck you in a room full of
insects-
Perfume: Killer bees.
Ukyo: KILLER BEES!! That's what you go through for training?!
(Perfume sadly nods. The man looks at the net and holds his head.)
Man: {in despair}I'm ruined.
Mousse: Maybe you two should go get something to eat and... talk.
Ukyo: Huh? Oh, yeah! Come on Perfume.
(Ukyo starts to walk off and Perfume begins to follow her but then
stops, gives the man the net, rushes over to the bench, grabs up the
sculptures and with a smile races after Ukyo.)
======================================================
(Elsewhere Akane is standing next to Ryoga in front of a game
booth. Ryoga tosses balls at a set of bottles across the way, each
time missing by a mile. Ryoga slaps down some yen once he uses
his last ball and the man tending the booth hands him four more
balls.)
Akane: Ryoga, why don't we go somewhere else. This game is too
tough.
Ryoga: No way. I'm going to get you one of those prizes.
Akane: [You could have bought me five by now.]
(Akane shakes her head in amusement as Ryoga tosses each of his
projectiles at the bottles and each time misses. As Ryoga sets up for
his last throw Akane discretely sends a small blast of wind at the
bottles just as Ryoga throws the ball. The ball misses completely
but the bottles fall anyway.)
Vendor: Woo, you got one hell of an arm sir. {as he hands Ryoga a
small stuffed pink pig}Here you go.
(Ryoga looks at the pig with a slight scowl while Akane stifles a
giggle.)
Akane: {amused, as she grabs Ryoga's arm}Come on.
(Ryoga allows Akane to lead him away and after a moments
hesitation gives Akane the stuffed pig.)
Akane: It's sweet of you Ryoga but that game was rigged. The
balls were obviously misbalanced to veer.
Ryoga: They'd actually do something like that?!
Akane: Of course they would. Let's go over to the-
Yuka: Akane!
(Akane looks around to see Yuka and Sayuri running up.)
Akane: Hi. What you two doing here?
Sayuri: What do you think? Actually we got a little bet going.
Yuka: Yeah, a couple of Kolholz guys made us a bet that you
couldn't grab a rock from across the street. They put up 5000 yen!
Akane: You guys! Oh, all right, I suppose I'll show these guys what
I can do.
(Yuka and Sayuri start to lead the way off and Akane starts to
follow. Ryoga is about to follow as well when he notices Mousse
in the shadows by a nearby stall. Akane notices Ryoga absence and
turns back to look at him.)
Akane: You coming Ryoga?
Ryoga: {nervously}Ahhh, I just wanted to look at... ahhh, {pointing
to random stall}this game here.
Akane: Oh, okay, but don't wander off please.
Ryoga: I won't.
Akane: I'll be back in a minute.
(Akane rushes to catch up with her friends as Ryoga makes his way
over to Mousse.)
Mousse: Well?
Ryoga: Ummm, well, it's coming.
(Mousse scowls.)
Mousse: So you're having about as much luck as me.
Ryoga: Hmmh?
Mousse: Ahh, nothing. Anyway, doesn't look like there's any
major problems.
Ryoga: Not yet. Something will come up.
Mousse: Don't have such a pessimistic attitude. Be confident,
optimistic.
Ryoga: Yeah, right, confidence. This will work out, yeah! Thanks
Mousse. Akane here I come!
(Ryoga starts to run off in the exact opposite direction that Akane
went. Mousse quickly wraps a chain around him and pulls him to a
halt.)
Mousse: Stay here. Don't run off and get lost.
Ryoga: Oh yeah, thanks.
======================================================
(Ukyo, carrying a tray of food, comes up to a table with Perfume,
places the tray on the table then sits down.)
Perfume: Da... Umm, Thank you.
Ukyo: Well, you're supposed to be relaxing.
(Perfume grabs up one of the plates of food and begins to eat. Ukyo
does likewise.)
Ukyo: [Poor kid needed this. {pause}Killer bees, that's insane,
and I thought my childhood was rough.]
Perfume: Oh, is so nice Ukyo. You finally give me chance. No one
done that for me before.
Ukyo: [Oh no.] Really?
Perfume: Yes. All boys at village think me weak or childish.
Hmph. Never give real chance.
Ukyo: Oh. {pause}Girls?
(Perfume looks down at the table.)
Perfume: Most resent me. Others no nice, not like Ukyo.
(Perfume looks back up at Ukyo with a smile. Ukyo nervously looks
off to the side.)
Ukyo: [Oh man, talk about being taken for a guilt trip.] *sigh*
Perfume: Something wrong Ukyo?
Ukyo: Nono, I'm fine. [All right Ukyo, don't cave in now.]
(Perfume gently touches Ukyo's hand to get her attention.)
Perfume: I have real good time Ukyo.
Ukyo: [Got a feeling you aren't going to be pretty soon.] That's
good. Look, Perfume we need to talk.
(Perfume looks at Ukyo both confused and anxious.)
Ukyo: Perfume, this marriage thing, it's not going to work.
Perfume: Why not?
Ukyo: I've tried to explain this to you before. I'm not interested in
girls.
Perfume: {shaking her head}I... I no understand.
Ukyo: Perfume, some people, like me, are only interested in men.
(Perfume continues to shake her head in confusion.)
Ukyo: You just don't understand that do you?
Perfume: No. Thought you like me.
Ukyo: I do, just not that way. You're a friend.
Perfume: I more than friend. {pause}You have someone else.
Ukyo: Ahhh-
(Tears begin to form in Perfume's eyes.)
Perfume: I understand, if Ukyo love someone else will leave.
Ukyo: Come on Perfume, don't cry. It makes me feel like a world
class heel.
(Perfume wipes off her eyes and turns away from Ukyo.)
Ukyo: [I could lie. {pause}No, got to be honest here.] At the
moment there isn't someone else.
(Perfume looks back at Ukyo, somewhat hopeful.)
Perfume: There isn't?
Ukyo: No.
Perfume: Then why no give me real chance?
Ukyo: Perfume-
(Perfume turns back to Ukyo and grabs up her hand.)
Perfume: Is because you think me weak?
Ukyo: No!
Perfume: Then why no give chance?
Ukyo: Perfume, it's... [It all comes down to that doesn't it, and she
doesn't understand.] We're just not right for each other.
Perfume: Why not? What I do wrong? Is Cologne, you no like
Cologne.
Ukyo: Uhh, well no, I don't really like her but... that's not really it.
Perfume: Then what?
(Ukyo thinks for a moment, beginning to drum her fingers on the
table.)
Perfume: You say no want girl as mate. I no really understand... but
how really know?
Ukyo: I... just do.
Perfume: How can be sure, really sure?
Ukyo: [She's working me into a corner here.] I don't know how I
know, I just-
Perfume: Then where reason?
Ukyo: I can't say Perfume. I just know it's there.
(Perfume looks back off to the side.)
Perfume: All I want is chance. No one give chance. You say you
like me and no have reason why not to but still no give chance. If no
really like then understand.
Ukyo: I just don't like you that way Perfume.
(Perfume thinks for a moment then turns back to Ukyo.)
Perfume: You and Ranma friend right?
Ukyo: [Oh no.] Yes.
Perfume: So you once like Ranma?
Ukyo: Yes.
Perfume: You then want more, yes?
(Ukyo seems surprised for a second then turns off to the side.)
Ukyo: How'd you know?
Perfume: I is no blind. See way Ukyo sometime look at Ranma.
Ukyo: That obvious?
Perfume: No, take while to notice. He gone now. He love
Shampoo, marry Shampoo.
Ukyo: I know that.
Perfume: So that no reason why no give Perfume chance.
Ukyo: No, I've given up on him.
Perfume: But you once love him, yes?
Ukyo: *sigh*Yes.
Perfume: So like as friend change to love.
Ukyo: [Nice one.] {reluctantly}I suppose it did, but that was
different.
Perfume: How?
Ukyo: He's a man, you're a woman.
Perfume: Man, woman, what difference.
Ukyo: Many.
Perfume: Is only body, no mind. Ranma change girl, his mind no
change. Bu is girl, she...ahhh, whatever, think man.
Ukyo: [I'm getting the distinct impression I'm losing this debate.]
(Ukyo thinks for a minute as Perfume tensely watches her.)
Ukyo: Well, maybe you have a point but I'm not solely interested in
having a... mate. I may want to have a family, children.
(Perfume looks down at the table in despair. After a brief moment
she looks back up at Ukyo, looking a bit desperate.)
Perfume: Is Juzenkyo magic.
Ukyo: You'd curse yourself just to have a relationship.
(Perfume slowly nods. Ukyo looks at Perfume in slight disbelief
then looks off to the side to think. After a minute Ukyo shakes her
head.)
Ukyo: You sure know how to set up your case.
(Perfume seems to get hopeful.)
Ukyo: *sigh*What would happen if you told Cologne you won't
marry me.
Perfume: Mmmm, she either force or make me go back village in
dishonor.
Ukyo: [As if she doesn't have it tough enough as is.] *sigh*[No,
this has to be done.]I'm sorry Perfume, I just can't.
(Perfume closes her eyes and bows her head, stifling some tears.)
Ukyo: I don't want to lead you on. There's no love there and I
highly doubt there ever will be.
(Perfume rubs off her eyes, breathing shakily.)
Perfume: {shakily}All wanted was chance.
Ukyo: I can't give it because it would just be a false hope.
(Perfume remains quite for a moment.)
Perfume: {shakily}I understand.
Ukyo: Look, I'm not just going to drop you. You can keep up this
chasing after me bit for Cologne's sake, I won't mind, and I promise
you that I won't let you go on alone. I'll find you someone. Okay?
(Perfume uncovers her eyes and slowly nods then smiles just
slightly.)
Ukyo: Good. *sigh*Sorry to ruin your evening.
Perfume: {sadly}Is okay.
(Ukyo nods her head then notices Perfume staring angrily off at a
crowd. She turns and spots Mikado talking to a girl (who seems
quite entranced by his words).)
Ukyo: Ah, him again.
Perfume: Can I-
Ukyo: Go ahead, blow off some steam, just no killing.
Perfume: {as she gets up}No intent to, no fun that way.
(Perfume draws an ax then proceed to walk quickly towards
Mikado. Ukyo watches as Mikado notices Perfume and quickly
high-tails it with Perfume in close pursuit. Ukyo shakes her head
and turns back around to find Mousse sitting down across from her.)
Mousse: I heard.
Ukyo: Oh. Well it had to be done.
(Mousse nods.)
Ukyo: I don't feel the best about this though. She's a friend. She
helped me find Ranma, open my restaurant, find the cure, train...
hell, she even works for nothing gladly and in her own weird way
helped me get over Ranma. Hell of a way to repay her.
Mousse: Is that the way you feel about Tsubasa?
Ukyo: He's different. He never listens, is over possessive as hell
and has the bloody awful habit of smashing my door down, not to
mention making a nuisance of himself. I'm glad Perfume chased him
off finally, another thing I should be grateful to her for.
Mousse: Hmmm.
Ukyo: You think I made the wrong choice?
Mousse: No. It's going to be hard this way, making that promise to
her.
Ukyo: No one said life was easy. At least this way Cologne won't
rag on her. *small laugh*And maybe if nothing comes up...
(Mousse blinks while looking at Ukyo. Ukyo turns her attention
back to her meal, somewhat sad.)
Mousse: [Could it be that she actually.... NO! {pause} Hmmm.
Oh well, maybe I'll talk to her later. Give her some time.]
(Mousse shakes his head in disappointment.)
======================================================
(A short distance away Ryoga is walking next to Akane who is
carrying the stuffed pig. They stop briefly to look at a game booth
then start to move on.)
Akane: Say, Ryoga, are your parents ever home?
Ryoga: Well, ahhh, about once every 3 months or so, why?
Akane: 3 Months?!! How did you get by?
Ryoga: Well, it wasn't easy. Just getting to school once a week
was a chore.
Akane: Yeah, I beat. Actually, I was hoping to meet them some
time.
Ryoga: You were?
Akane: Yeah. I want to see what they're like.
Ryoga: Hmm.
(Ryoga blinks and looks perplexed.)
Ryoga: You know, I don't even know what they're like. It's a been
a few years since I've seen them myself.
(Akane looks at Ryoga with a slight look of sadness.)
Akane: That's too bad.
Ryoga: Oh no, we were always a really... ahh... independent family.
Akane: Hmm.
(Ryoga gives Akane a nervous glance then looks down at his feet,
slowly looking more determined.)
Ryoga: [I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. Confidence.
Optimism. Yes. Right.]
(Finally Ryoga looks up at Akane then stops. She notices and stops
and looks back at him.)
Ryoga: Akane, you know, we... I've been trying to get up the
courage to... well, umm...
(Ryoga steps closer to Akane who now seems a slight bit hopeful.)
Akane: Yes?
Ryoga: Well, you wouldn't mind if...
(Ryoga is about to reach out and touch Akane but suddenly Mikado
rushes by in between them stunning Ryoga for a second. Akane
scowls at the rapidly retreating Mikado then turns back to Ryoga.
Ryoga stares after Mikado for second longer then shakes himself
and tries again. Just before he makes contact he crashes face first
into the dirt with Perfume standing on top of him. Akane can only
blink in shock.)
Perfume: Where Mikado go?!
Akane: {pointing after Mikado}That way I think. {gesturing to
Ryoga}Now do you mind...
(Perfume looks down then quickly steps off Ryoga.)
Perfume: Ahh, sorry. I go now.
(Perfume proceeds to rush off after Mikado as Akane helps Ryoga
back to his feet, who seems quite nervous.)
Ryoga: [Don't worry Ryoga. It's just a minor thing. Nothing else
can go wrong. Yeah. Just take it easy. Slow down maybe.]
Akane: You were saying...
Ryoga: {nervously}Ahh, well, Akane, you and me, well you
know... Ahh, it was just that I was thinking that maybe we could,
maybe, go a little further and... ahhh...
Akane: {hopeful}Yes?
(Ryoga seems to regains his confidence and again tries to reach over
to Akane. Unfortunately a certain ninja garbed figure suddenly
plants itself into Akane's bosom. Naturally Akane freaks.)
Akane: DAHHH!! WHAT THE...
Happosai: Oh dear Akane, it's so great to see you again. Give this
old man a hug.
Akane: {angrily}AHHHH!!! GET OFF OF ME YOU PERVERT!!!
Ryoga: [{in despair}No, no, nooooo!!]
(Akane desperately tries to remove Happosai with little effect.
Ryoga looks at the old man with increasing fury then angrily
removes him. Happosai gives Ryoga a curious glance.)
Happosai: Oh, hello Ryoga. You're here too huh.
Ryoga: {fuming}How the hell did you get back?!!
Happosai: Oh, you see this nice stewardess on the plane gave me a
plane ticket back for free.
Akane: {angrily, as she grabs Happosai}Yeah, whatever. Say
good-bye.
Happosai: Good-bye?
(Akane proceeds to punt Happosai with all her strength into the
stratosphere. After taking in several calming breathes she turns
back to Ryoga who is looking even more nervous.)
Akane: Where were we?
Ryoga: {extremely nervous}Ahhhh, ummmm, I... ummm, well, you
see... well, you know... I... well... I... [Dammit, get a hold of
yourself man!!!]
(Ryoga nods to himself, takes in a few calming breathes himself then
seems to regain his confidence.)
Ryoga: [Yeah. Two things. Nothing else can go wrong.]
Bu-chan: Is this yours pig?
(Akane and Ryoga turn to find a wet Bu-chan standing next to them
with Happosai planted in her bosom. A short distance behind her
Kodachi stands idly watching.)
Ryoga: What the...
Akane: What's it take to get rid of him?
Bu: Oh, so he is yours.
Akane: We don't want him!
Bu: {with an evil smile}Good. {to Happosai}Hey old man, you
want to see something really interesting.
(Happosai looks up curiously. Bu-chan grabs his face in a claw
hold, angrily tears him free then pulls out a pack of dynamite.)
Bu: You'll get a real bang out of this.
Happosai: *mumble, mumble*
(Bu-chan proceed to tape the dynamite to the old man, binding his
arms at the same time. She then lights the fuse and kicks Happosai
into the sky. She turns her attention back to Akane and Ryoga as a
flash of light is seen and explosion is heard.)
Bu-chan: Please try to keep that old freak away from me in the
future.
(Akane nods as Ryoga looks down at the ground in complete
despair. Bu-chan walks over to Kodachi, drawing out a blue ball
on the way and splashing herself with the contents, changing back to
a boy. The two walk off together which Akane watches curiously.
She shrugs then looks back at Ryoga.)
Ryoga: [{in total despair}It's not meant to be. It's not meant to be.
Fate is conspiring against me. I might as well just give up.]
Akane: Ryoga.
(Ryoga, still totally in despair, looks up at Akane. He is about to
open his mouth but she places a finger on it to stop him then smiles.)
Akane: I know.
(Ryoga can only blink in shock as Akane removes her finger then
leans over and kisses Ryoga. A slight distance off Mousse (carrying
the fish tanks) and Ukyo are watching this.)
Mousse: Oh well, he finally did it, even if she's the one that
actually did it.
Ukyo: Yeah.
Perfume: Ukyo.
(Ukyo turns to see Perfume rush up.)
Ukyo: Oh, back already?
Perfume: He got away. {pause then excited}So, what do for rest of
date?
Ukyo: Huh? But-
Perfume: You promise me date. You no get out just cause nothing
happen afterwards.
Ukyo: Oh, well, okay. Umm, movie?
Perfume: Is good idea.
(Perfume grabs Ukyo by the arm and drags her off. Mousse shakes
his head then proceeds to follow them.)
======================================================
(Mousse (carrying the two fish tanks), Ukyo and Perfume arrive at
Ucchan's late that night. Ukyo opens the door and allows Mousse to
enter then turns to Perfume.)
Ukyo: Don't tell Cologne anything about this, okay? Don't need
you getting into trouble.
Perfume: I won't.
(Perfume turns to leave then stops and rushes back over to Ukyo.
Before Ukyo can react Perfume grabs her in hug. Ukyo initially
tenses up but then relaxes as Perfume withdraws. Perfume gives
Ukyo a brief smile then runs off. Ukyo waves at the doorway while
Mousse sets the gold fish tank on a table (he is still carrying the
piranha tank). Ukyo closes the door, walks over to a nearby seat
and collapses into it.)
Ukyo: *sigh*What a day. You'd think that with a week without a
decent sleep she'd get exhausted before us. Where does she get all
the damned energy?
(Mousse shrugs as he places the other tank down on another table.)
Mousse: Must be the training. She's probably used to running on
empty, as it were.
(Ukyo nods as she watches Mousse remove from his shirt all the
sculptures and set them on yet another table.)
Ukyo: Can you teach me how to do that?
Mousse: What?
Ukyo: Hide all that stuff on you without any sign of it.
Mousse: Oh, that, I can teach you a few basics all Amazons know.
The more advanced stuff takes years.
Ukyo: Anything would be great, that way I don't have to walk
around with the arsenal all the time. {pause then as she gets
up}Could you get me a drink? I'll fix those up.
Mousse: {as he heads for the back room}Sure.
(Mousse enters the back room as Ukyo moves a plant off a small
table and moves the gold fish tank onto that table. Ukyo steps away,
frowns then adjusts the tank slightly.)
Mousse: {from the back room}You should get some sake around
here.
Ukyo: No thanks. The only alcohol that gets in my establishment is
cooking alcohol.
Mousse: {from the back room}What? Don't you trust people.
Ukyo: Frankly, no, at least not when it comes to that.
(Ukyo nods approvingly after another adjustment then begins to
move the piranha tank. She quickly finishes with it then picks up a
few sculptures and takes them over to the grill. She begins to place
them on a shelf behind the grill then stops and thinks as she looks at
one of the sculptures (of a man leaning on a large ax). Ukyo smiles
and shakes her head as Mousse comes out from the back with two
drinks.)
Mousse: What?
Ukyo: Oh nothing. Just imagining what Perfume would be like as a
boy.
(Mousse stops and stares at Ukyo in unamused shock. Ukyo quickly
shakes off the thought and places the sculpture on the shelf. She
turns to Mousse and walks over, not noticing his expression.)
Ukyo: {as she takes one of the drinks}Thanks.
(Ukyo walks back and retrieves the remaining sculptures as Mousse
continues staring at her in shock. He suddenly downs his drink in
one quick swig then blinks and looks at in shock.)
Mousse: [Damn, forgot, no alcohol.]
(He shakes his head and puts the empty glass down and begins to
rub his eyes. Ukyo meanwhile starts to place the remaining
sculptures on the shelf. She gives Mousse a brief glance.)
Ukyo: Tired?
(Mousse quickly stops rubbing his eyes and looks at Ukyo at a loss
for words. Ukyo looks back at him questioningly.)
Mousse: Ah, sort of.
Ukyo: Well get to bed then. I can finish up.
(Mousse reluctantly nods then starts to head for the back room. He
stops at the doorway.)
Mousse: [WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING
YOU MORON?!!! ARE YOU JUST GOING TO WALK OFF AND
LET ANOTHER FINE CHANCE GO TO WASTE BECAUSE OF
YOUR DAMNED FEARS OF ANOTHER REJECTION?!!!!!!!
{pause}WELL?!!!!]
(Mousse seems unsure as he looks back at Ukyo who is adjusting the
sculptures. He watches her for a moment then looks determined and
nods.)
Mousse: [Yeah! YEAH!! What the hell am I doing?]
(Mousse gets even more determined and turns back towards Ukyo
and walks back over to her.)
Mousse: Ukyo.
Ukyo: {as she looks at Mousse}Yeah?
Mousse: I want to tell you something. I...
(Mousse's determination suddenly melts away. Ukyo looks at him
in confusion.)
Ukyo: Yes?
(Mousse shakes his head then regains his determination.)
Mousse: [I'm getting as bad as Ryoga.] I just wanted to say...
Perfume isn't your only choice. There are... others... ah hell, like
me for instance-
(Ukyo expression changes to shock and surprise.)
Mousse: That would... love to be with you. {with a frown}[I could
have gotten that out better.]
(Ukyo blinks a few times to recover.)
Ukyo: This is kind of out of the blue. Why didn't you tell me this
before?
Mousse: It was this thing with Shampoo and all. I scared her off by
being open with my feelings-
Ukyo: You scared her off by not giving her any room to breath.
Mousse: Whatever. I was just scared of doing the same with you.
Ukyo: Well you might if you start up the same stuff with me.
Mousse: I won't, I promise. It was a bad period in my life. I've
gotten over it. I've learned from my mistake. If you're not
interested I'm gone. You won't hear another word about it. I won't
pursue it in the least. I-
Ukyo: Okay, okay, I get the drift.
(Ukyo frowns as she goes into some tense thought.)
Mousse: I know it's a lousy time. I was going to ask you on a date
this morning but this business with Perfume came up-
Ukyo: You don't need to explain, I understand. {pause}When?
Mousse: Huh? Ah, I don't know. I suppose it was sometime during
that cat tongue business.
Ukyo: You're not just doing this out of sympathy, because I don't
need-
Mousse: No! It's much more than that. It's everything about you.
Your spirit, your perseverance, your kindness... everything.
(Ukyo looks off to the side.)
Mousse: Look, I know you've had zero luck with guys. Ranma,
*small laugh*Tsubasa. I'm not like them. I'm not going to leave
you and I'm not going to force my love onto you.
Ukyo: *small laugh*You got a tough case against Perfume.
Mousse: You don't actually-
Ukyo: {looking back at Mousse}No! I've told you, I've told her,
I'm not like that.
Mousse: Sorry.
Ukyo: You're forgiven.
(Ukyo again goes into tense thought for a moment.)
Mousse: Look, I stuck you on the spot here. I didn't mean to do
that. I'm... I'm just kind of lousy at this.
Ukyo: I'm not exactly hyper experienced either.
Mousse: Well, if... you're interested-
Ukyo: *small laugh*Well, I'm not about to jump all over you with
passion you know.
Mousse: I didn't expect that.
Ukyo: Good, then maybe we can have a little understanding. {with
a slight smile}I am, however, not adverse to seeing how things...
develop.
Mousse: That's all I am asking.
Ukyo: Then your answer is yes.
(Mousse seems a bit shaken by the response. And Ukyo returns to
her work, still smiling slightly.)
Ukyo: As long as you realize that this isn't going to be an overnight
thing.
Mousse: Of course!
Ukyo: And that we might have a little Amazon trouble.
Mousse: Oh yeah, Perfume.
Ukyo: Actually not so much her as Cologne. I think Perfume will
understand. She may not be happy but she'll understand and won't
interfere.
Mousse: Yeah, well I can handle it.
Ukyo: We'll see. {pause}Aren't you supposed to be going to bed?
Mousse: Ah, well, yeah.
Ukyo: Then do so. What, did you expect something right now?
Mousse: Nonono, ah, yeah, right, later, of course. Good night.
Ukyo: {as Mousse leaves the room}Good night.
(Ukyo looks back at the doorway as watches it for a moment, takes
in a deep, calming breath then shakes it out with a heavy sigh.)
Ukyo: {to herself}Anything else going to happen tonight?
(Ukyo smiles to herself.)
Ukyo: [I suppose he's got the potential.]
Ukyo voice echoing in her head: Ranma, Shampoo, they're both lost
to us. You should find someone else to give your affections to.
Ukyo: [Well, he has. Now it's my turn.]
(Ukyo nods after adjusting a sculpture then turns and heads for the
back room.)
======================================================
(Inside the Tendo dojo Ranma-kun is fast asleep and Shampoo sits
across from the pin, staring.)
Shampoo: *yawn*
(Akane walks in quietly and sits next to Shampoo. Shampoo
acknowledges her presence with a smile.)
Shampoo: {whispering}<Things go well at the fair?>
Akane: {whispering, with a smile}<Oh, you could say that.>
(Akane gives Ranma-kun a quick glance then leans close to
Shampoo's ear and whispers something. Shampoo seems shocked
for a second then looks at Akane with a big smile.)
Shampoo: {whispering}<You better not tell Kasumi. I don't think
she'd approve since you two aren't engaged.>
Akane: {whispering, with a smile}<Oh, I think we can remedy
that.>
Shampoo: {whispering}<You mean... You really think you're
ready for that?>
(Akane considers for a moment then nods. Shampoo smiles then
turns back to look at the pin.)
Akane: {whispering}<But that's going to really, really put the
pressure on Nabiki though.>
Shampoo: {whispering}<She can deal with it.>
Akane: {whispering, as she gets up}<Yeah.>
(Akane looks over at Ranma-kun with amusement then silently starts
to leave.)
Akane: {whispering}<Don't you two have too much fun now.>
Shampoo: Akane.
Akane: {turning back to look at Shampoo}Hmm?
Shampoo: {whispering}<The bracelets, they may work both ways-
>
Akane: {whispering}<No. Don't think that. I'm not so damned
selfish to mess up a bunch of people's lives for that.>
Shampoo: {whispering}<It's just that if you did->
Akane: {whispering}<No. I don't. Those bracelets can stay
locked up for another 50 years for all I care. Okay?>
Shampoo: {whispering}<Okay, thank you.>
Akane: {whispering, as she leaves}<Think nothing of it.>
(Shampoo nods as Akane leaves. She returns her full attention back
to the pin, still smiling. A few minutes pass when suddenly
Shampoo blinks in shock and goes wide eyed. Before her, through
her eyes, the wall starts to show a web-like set of dimly glowing
lines, many emanating from the location of the pin. The lines
become slightly brighter and more focused.)
Shampoo: {quietly, in awe}Hiyah.
%End Part 4
======================================================
%Epilogue
(Ranma-kun stands at the door to Akane's room, knocking.)
Ranma: Akane! Hey, you in there?
(Ranma-kun scowls and pushes open the door. He is immediately
set upon by P-chan.)
Ranma: {as he grabs P-chan}What did I do now?!
P-chan: *squeal*
(Ranma-kun looks around the room and sees Akane's bed is empty
except for the bracelet.)
Ranma: Where's Akane?
======================================================
Mousse: RANMA!!!!
(Cologne shakes her head as Mousse (back in glasses) makes a run
for the door of the Nekohanten.)
Mousse: HOW DARE YOU RUN OFF WITH MY FUTURE
BRIDE, SAOTOME!!!! PREPARE TO DIE!!!!
(Before Mousse can exit Cologne taps him on the back of the neck
with her staff causing him to fall to the ground, unconscious. She
taps another point on Mousse's neck causing him to regain
consciousness.)
Cologne: Fool, son-in-law has nothing to do with this.
Mousse: {as he sits up}Then who?
Cologne: Judging from the bracelet we found and recent events I
would be suspicious of Akane Tendo, although she too may be just a
victim.
Mousse: Akane?!
Cologne: Yes, this is most strange. And Perfume recently arrived
too.
Mousse: Perfume? What's she have to do with this.
Cologne: Nothing, perhaps. Perhaps everything. {pause}We'd
best check to see if a similar fate has befallen Ms. Tendo.
======================================================
(A flash of light marks the entrance of the man from the jewelry
store into a large cathedral. He seemingly pulls aside a cape and
his form shimmers to reveal bright red and yellow armor, a jewel
encrusted sword in a sheaf at his side, and a emerald green harp at
his other side. Another figure stands across from him in the
cathedral. He turns to reveal himself to be the man who talked to
Ukyo in the prologue.)
The other figure: Derek.
Derek: What's going on Telrin? Why have you interfered?
Telrin: Things have come up. It was necessary.
Derek: Necessary?! Things were working out fine.
Telrin: But it was not sufficient. Circumstances have changed
slightly but not enough.
Derek: Damn! I was so sure.
Telrin: Sometimes visions just aren't enough. {pause}I've begun
to-
Derek: This is my world to worry about, not yours. I'll handle it
from here on in.
Telrin: Very well.
(Derek turns and starts to walk off.)
Telrin: Derek!
(Derek turns back to Telrin.)
Telrin: It's just one of many. Others have worked out. This one
was just not destined to be. You did well in even getting the
alternate line to succeed.
Derek: I suppose so.
(Derek shakes his head then turns and disappears. Telrin nods then
he too disappears.)
%The End.
Okay that's the end. Really. Truly. Come on, don't you
believe me? Okay, okay, it's not. Problem is, I need to change
writing style to full prose. The second OVA will be coming when I
get around to it. To those of you who are wondering it was my
original intention to have Most Unlikely of Friends end up with
Akane awakening to a dream of the normal Ranma 1/2 universe and
the new universe now being the reality. However, I wanted to have
a way of talking about the original versions of Soon Li and Perfume.
You've seen how Perfume turned out, next is Soon Li (and possibly
Bu as well).
I'm looking for any response, as I've said. In particular if you have
any ideas on who to end up Perfume with (male or female) I'm
interested. Sorry, not Ukyo. Maybe in an alternate, alternate world
but not here.
A few notes:
What does AAADTG stand for? Any And All Dirty Tricks
Go.
Bu Xien is an original creation, to my knowledge, as are
Derek and Telrin.
What's the Kodachi project I'm thinking about? Well,
Shampoo can get Ranma, Ukyo can get Ranma, need I say more. It
isn't going to be an easy one though.
Any questions? Feel free to E-mail me for the answer.