[Ranma][FanFic] Shampoo 1/2, Chapter 2 - Revised

[DB Sommer]

Ranma 1/2 Presents:
Shampoo 1/2
Chapter 2
Ryouga and Roses

All C+C is desired. You can contact me at:
som...@3rdm.net

Standard Disclaimer:
I don't own any of the Ranma 1/2 characters or any from other series
mentioned in this story.

Azatlan has given Shampoo 1/2 a home at:
http://www.geocities.com/~azatlan/Special-Series/shampoo.html

Bloodblade has also put it on his webpage at:
http://www.geocities.com/tokyo/towers/5920

Slashley also has it at:
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Shrine/5747/Shampoo.html

An Alternate Universe:
(What's gone on before: In the beginning, Ranma and Genma went to
Jusenkyou. They started sparring, not realizing Shampoo and Mousse
were already engaged in a duel as well. One mid-air collision and a
dunking in
spring of drowned man later, we get a male Shampoo as well as a female
Ranma. So Ranma-chan= female. Shampoo-kun= male. Enjoy.)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Part One

Ryouga...

To Shampoo-kun, the problem wasn't so much that he had to go to
school, it was that they were making him wear a boy's school uniform.
True, he was only now starting to build up a real wardrobe that he
could wear in either form, forgoing most of the Chinese-style garments
he would wear back home, but why did he have to wear the same drab
clothing that most of the other students wore? If it had not been for
Kasumi's continuous reassurances that he looked very good in the
uniform, he probably would never have relented. But she had been very
insistent that he appeared very dashing. Of course he looked good in
either form, but it was kind of reassuring to hear him described as
being handsome, even if he didn't like the curse.

Besides, he had wanted to keep a low profile, at least until he could
get a cure, so that meant trying to blend in with the indigenous
Japanese population. Though no matter how he dressed, the girls still
pursued him. He still was not sure of how to deal with them, though
he admitted that they at least they had the good sense to realize he
was a powerful warrior.

He turned his attention to his two companions as they made their way
to school. Akane was dressed in her normal school outfit, but
Ranma-chan had still somehow managed to wear her usual red shirt and
black pants ensemble. Life wasn't fair sometimes.

Ranma-chan had pretty much the same viewpoint, though about different
things, as she complained continuously from the moment they left home.
"Pop and Mr. Tendo are really starting to annoy me. If they try any
harder to push us together, I'm going to explode."

"Don't look at me," Akane sniffed. "I'm certainly not encouraging
them." She still disliked the idea of being pushed into a marriage
with anyone, and Ranma was just so insensitive sometimes it made her
want to scream. If she had to be engaged to him, why couldn't he be
more like the kind Doctor Tofu? There was someone that cared about how
others felt.

"You should try harder to tell your dad you want out of it. I know
damn well Pop ain't going to let go," Ranma-chan complained.

"My dad is just as stubborn as yours," she assured him. "I don't think
he's going to budge either."

Shampoo-kun decided to tune out the rest of the now familiar
conversation. He stared at the sky above and thought about their
problem. He supposed he could sympathize. If he had been engaged to
someone he didn't like, say, Mousse, he would have gone completely
ballistic.

He was still lost in thought of what the hell of being engaged to
Mousse would be like when she saw a dark, lying object came down from
high above, using the sun as cover. There was no time to react as the
object headed towards Ranma-chan and attached itself to her face.

"Ahhh! Get it off me!" came the muffled cry as the redhead tried
dislodging her new facial adornment.

Akane got a good look at the flying object that had affixed itself to
her fiancé's face. If she was not mistaken, it looked like a bat. A
brief image of all of the horror movies she watched late at night
flashed across her eyes. What if it was a vampire bat that was trying
to suck out all of Ranma-chan's blood?

"Stay still! I'll get it!" Drawing back her book bag, she aimed
directly for the object and unloaded a mighty swing.

Fortunately for the bat, it got out of the way of the impending blow,
detaching itself from Ranma-chan's face just as the object reached the
apex of its arc. Unfortunately, for the redhead, her face did not get
out of the way in time as the quite heavy book bag hit her, knocking
her to the ground.

The bat took that as a sign to get out of there and flew off.

It took Ranma-chan a moment to regain her senses. Once they came back,
she realized what had happened. "Whad'ya do that for?!"

"I wasn't aiming for you. I was aiming at the bat. It was attacking
you," Akane explained, annoyed at Ranma's irritation. She had been
only trying to help. "What if it was a vampire bat? It might have been
trying to suck out your blood or something."

Ranma-chan narrowed her eyes. "If getting slugged in the face is the
alternative, I'd rather have my blood drained dry."

"That's the last time I try to help you," Akane huffed.

"Ranma! I found you at last!"

All three youths turned to see a teenage boy emerge from the school.
He did not wear a school uniform. Instead, he was wearing black
pants, a yellow shirt, and a yellow bandanna with black stripes that
held an unruly mop of black hair that was dripping wet.

Much to the trio's surprise, he approached Ranma-chan instead of
Shampoo-kun. "It's taken me years of hell to track you down. You may
have run out on our last fight, but you won't get the opportunity to
this time."

"Who are you?" she asked.

"You don't remember me?" the boy demanded.

"Nope."

"I'm Ryouga Hibiki."

"Still doesn't ring any bells."

The surprise Ryouga felt changed into anger. "How dare you forget me!
I remember you! A lot of time may have passed, but I'd recognize those
beady little eyes anywhere." He pointed to Ranma-chan's eyes for
emphasis. "And that jagged nose." He flicked her nose, earning himself
an angry growl. "And those ample breasts." He poked her in a breast,
which was the exact moment in which he realized that particular
feature was not something that was consistent with his memory. "Hey!
When did you get breasts?"

"It's a long story," Ranma-chan mumbled, still bewildered as to how
the boy had pierced her disguise.

"Wait a minute! You can't be Ranma. The Ranma I know is a guy." Ryouga
looked around in confusion, as though he had lost something.

A crowd of students gathered to watch the display. One of them yelled,
"That's not Ranma, you dummy! That's Shampoo. Ranma is next to her."

Ryouga turned his attention to Shampoo-kun. "You're Ranma Saotome?"

Shampoo-kun nodded in answer.

Ryouga looked between the boy and girl again. "But I ran into..." He
pointed to Ranma-chan, then shook his head. "Never mind. You look a
lot different from the way I remember you. Still, if you are Ranma
Saotome, prepare to die." He drew a bamboo umbrella from his backpack
and pointed it at Shampoo-kun.

The windows of the school were packed as the student population
watched the scene unfold before them. Many of the girls looked on in
puzzlement.

"That's odd. Why would that boy challenge Ranma?"

"Yeah. I wonder what he did."

"The stranger looks kind of tough."

It was then one of the girls took a step back, a look of apprehension
dawning upon her. "Oh my god! What if he isn't really here for
revenge? What if he's heard about how Ranma has to date whoever
defeats him?"

"You mean that guy--," a second girl began.

"-might be trying to date Ranma?" a third girl finished.

A fourth girl used that 'information' and jumped to a conclusion of
her own. "THAT PERVERT'S TRYING TO DATE RANMA!"

Every boy in the school backed away in fear as a series of shouts of
anger and facial twitching began spreading outward from that girl and
spread to the rest of the female student body in a rippling wave.
'Ranma' was meant for them, not for some strange, pervert boy to take
away.

Ryouga was used to hearing cries of rage, mostly his own. So when he
heard a chorus of curses and howls of anger behind him, instead of
panicking, he turned curiously to see what was happening. Once, during
his journeys, he had witnessed a swarm of ants attack a much larger
bug, ripping it to pieces by sheer weight of numbers. He had always
wondered why the larger bug had not tried to escape, but rather
remained where it was and allowed itself to be overwhelmed.

Now he understood as he watched a swarm of girls pour out of the
windows and doorways of the school, reminding him exactly of how the
ants had swarmed out of their anthill. And like that larger bug, he
remained where he was, watching in fascinated horror as the angry host
descended upon him. He quickly found himself buried under the wave of
humanity.

Ranma-chan, Shampoo-kun, and Akane looked on in shock as Ryouga was
thoroughly beaten, then punted several miles away. Looks of
satisfaction were on the horde's faces as they dispersed, pleased that
they had 'saved' Ranma from falling into the 'pervert's' clutches.

"Some morning," Ranma-chan said as she and the others entered the
school.

The shadows seemed to follow the cloaked figure as it made its way
silently through the school. It glanced furtively back and forth,
making certain its progress was not being tracked, as it descended
some nearby stairs and into the lower bowels of the school itself. The
caution paid off, as no one saw it reach its destination: Secret
Sub-Basement Four of Furinkan High School. The number itself was
unusual, since only two other secret sub levels had been uncovered,
and one of them was deeper than number four. But Furinkan was odd in
that way.

The figure moved as silently as it could before eventually coming upon
a door with a guard next to it. The guard moved to block entry and
looked the newcomer over. "Password."

"Studmuffin," the figure answered.

"Wrong." The guard remained where she was.

The figure paused in thought or a moment. "Umm. Beefcake?"

"That was yesterday's password."

The figure released a sigh and pulled back her hood to reveal her
features. "Look, Sayuri. It's me, Achika. Let me in."

"I can't let you in," Sayuri informed her.

"You've known me since third grade. We used to be best friends."

"None shall pass."

"Please."

"You have to give me the correct password."

Achika gave Sayuri a menacing smile. "The password is, 'Knock it off
and let me in or I'll beat the crap out of you'."

"That's not the password," Sayuri objected.

Achika kept smiling. "The last time I checked, I was captain of the
high school Judo team, while you failed to even make the track team."

"Close enough." Sayuri gulped and allowed her old friend into the
chamber beyond.

Secret Sub-Basement Four was actually a very simple place, in spite of
what the name implied. The walls were a nondescript gray and made of
concrete. There were a set of boilers, which heated the school,
located in the back. Close to two dozen wooden folding chairs were set
up for the occupants of the room, most of which already had people in
them. Achika quickly recognized most of the entirely female residents
that were currently seated; the majority of them were captains of
various school activities, such as the archery, alchemy, and chess
clubs. To Achika, most of the girls seemed very anxious, a state that
mirrored her own.

She noted that the only other addition to the room was towards the
back, where a projection screen stood up against the wall, and a
simple wooden table at which two girls sat. One of the seated girls
stood up. Achika recognized her as the captain of the chess club:
Nanami Oguya.

"Now that we are all present, we may begin the meeting," Nanami loudly
announced. "As you all know by now, Furinkan has been blessed with the
presence of one of the greatest hunks...I mean by a rather handsome
student by the name of Ranma Saotome. Not only is he an extremely
good-looking individual with green eyes that one could lose themselves
in, their hearts burning in passion fo-"

"Ahem!" The girl sitting next to Nanami cleared her throat,
interrupting the fantasy before everyone's attention was lost.

"Right," Nanami said, concentrating once again on the matter at hand.
"Anyway, not only is he handsome, but he's available too."

"I heard he was engaged to Akane Tendou," a voice called out from the
back.

"Akane Tendou has openly said she's not interested," Nanami reassured
her. "Besides, for some odd reason, he apparently has to date any girl
that defeats him. Think of it, girls, he's a stud that can't say no.
What more could we ask for?"

"Hey," another voice in the back spoke up. "Isn't this kind of an
immature thing to do? I mean, that's what we said when all of the guys
tried doing the same thing to Akane. Besides, it makes it seem like
we're pretty desperate."

Nanami gave a tired sigh, not that the protest was unexpected. "Allow
me to explain the situation. Lights!" The lights dimmed. Nanami pulled
out a tiny remote control and touched a button that activated a hidden
slide projector on the far side of the room. A second button ran the
first slide through.

"This is Ranma." The slide being shown had cost Nanami a small
fortune, but it had been worth every yen. It had obviously been taken
from a high angle, but the quality was exquisite. The picture had been
taken in a bathroom. It was a frontal shot of Shampoo-kun, in nothing
but his bare flesh, save for the small towel wrapped around his waist.
Nanami thought that the most tantalizing thing about it was not the
amount of skin being shown, but the hint of more as Shampoo-kun's
hands were obviously positioned to remove the towel from his body.
Nanami had offered five times what she had paid for a shot of him sans
the towel, but Nabiki had insisted she had not managed to obtain such
a picture. Nanami would not have been surprised if Nabiki had just
been saving the best ones for her own personal collection.

Nanami's opinion of the subject of the slide was openly shared by the
collection of sighs, wolf whistles, and cheers that came from the
gathering of girls.

"Now this is the alternative to Ranma." Nanami pressed the button
again. The next slide showed a picture of a smiling Hiroshi and
Diasuke. This time a chorus of boos, groans, and swearing emanated
from the audience in response. Girls began hurling spit-balls at the
screen and demanded Nanami go back to the first slide. She happily
complied.

"Okay. We really are that desperate," the girl that had registered the
protest conceded.

"Exactly," Nanami agreed. "Now I will take charge of the situation. I
have devised a strategy which will surely engineer the defeat of our
target."

This time Achika spoke up. "But if we attack him as a group, how do we
decide who gets to go out with him? You can't expect all of us to date
him."

Nanami simply switched back to the Hiroshi and Diasuke picture, waited
for the spit-balls to make their reappearance, then switched back to
Shampoo-kun.

"So I'm thinking Ranma can average three dates a night," Achika said
pensively.

"Exactly," Nanami said. "What we have to do is-"

The rest was cut off as the door, and part of the wall surrounding it,
exploded inward. Achika reacted immediately, her fists forward, and
waited for the attacker to make an appearance. As the dust began to
settle, Achika made out not one, but five silhouettes in the hole that
had once been a doorway. The captain of the women's Judo team
maintained her stance, confident she could handle whoever the
intruders were, at least until the dust settled enough for her to make
out their features.

"By the kami," Achika gasped, her courage leaving her in the face of
the overwhelming power set before her. "What are you doing back?"

The leader of the group gave a hearty laugh. "Someone sent us a
picture of that gorgeous new student and the conditions for dating
him, so we cut our tour short and came back early. And since we have
returned, there is little need for your continued presence." The group
attacked, causing the room to explode in fury.

The entire battle lasted under thirty seconds before the two dozen
students lay unconscious on the floor. The leader of the group made
her way through the prone girls and bent low, picking out a slide from
the now shattered projector. She held it up to the remaining unbroken
light in the room, examining it closely.

"Magnificent," she softly breathed. Truly Ranma was a prize befitting
one such as herself.

Shampoo-kun sighed in relief as another day of school drew to a close.
The whole school experience was proving itself a big waste of time.
They were teaching him a bunch of things that he was never going to
use instead of practical things. The worst was Japanese history, which
seemed to be filled with nothing but the achievement of males. The
only subjects she really liked were the English class (which she spoke
only slightly worse than her Japanese, she thought with pride) and
math, which was easy to understand since it mostly dealt with numbers.

As she met Akane and Ranma-chan, he noticed the same tired expression
on the redhead's features. "How Ranma...err, Shampoo day go at
school?"

"Boring," Ranma-chan said, earning a sniff from Akane and a reprimand
that school was important and that she should try harder to enjoy it.
Shampoo-kun saw no reason to mention he felt the same way as
Ranma-chan.

As the trio made their way outside the main school building and into
the yard surrounding the school, they found themselves confronted by a
group of five girls in matching outfits composed of blue tops, short
yellow skirts, white socks, and black shoes. Each one bore a set of
pompoms in their hands. Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun couldn't help
noticing the rest of the Furinkan student body seemed to be giving the
group a wide berth.

"Who the heck are you guys?" Ranma-chan asked.

One of the girls moved to the front of the assembly. Ranma-chan noted
she was a tall, very attractive, busty blonde. A quick evaluation of
the way the girl moved, along with her bearing and demeanor, made
Ranma-chan think this was probably the leader.

The blonde spoke, her comments directed towards Shampoo-kun. "Of
course. Where are my manners? Allow me to introduce myself and the
other girls you will be dating from this point onward." She gave a
sweeping gesture towards the girls behind her and began the
introductions in a right to left order.

"Megumi Ohtama."

The redhead farthest on the right gave Shampoo-kun a hearty smirk.

"Kaede Miyaki."

A shorter girl, blonde, and the most attractive of the group, placed a
hand on her hip and thrust her chest out towards Shampoo-kun.

"Ayeka Hibishi."

The tallest of the girls stepped forward. She was a raven-haired
beauty with a menacing glare in her eyes that was missing from the
other girls.

"Kyoko Onamuri."

A chestnut-colored, curly-haired girl waved her pompoms and gave a
little cheer. While only being slightly taller than Kaede, she was not
quite as attractive as the other girls, though still very cute.

With the last of her girls' introductions out of the way, the speaker
presented herself to the others. "And I am the greatest of them all,
Captain Ai Konjou, leader of the Furinkan Cheerleader Squad!"

The group gave out a cheer and struck a collective pose.

Whereas most of the time Shampoo-kun felt only slightly uncomfortable
over the longing stares some of the girls gave him, the looks the
cheerleader squad gave him made him want to break out in a run. Ai's
gaze was easily the worst, making Shampoo-kun feel as though he was
being stripped on the spot.

"You're even more attractive in person, Ranma," Ai said as she
continued undressing Shampoo-kun with her eyes.

Ranma-chan gave a cocky little smirk. "You got that right."

"She means Shampoo," Shampoo-kun whispered in her ear.

Ranma-chan's smile turned into a frown. She was becoming more
irritated by the day over the name change thing. And worse,
Shampoo-kun was getting all of the attention when Ranma-chan knew she
was more attractive than him, as a guy or a girl. She began to wonder
if maybe she should go to school as a guy a few times to take some of
the pressure off the Amazon and have the girls flock to her instead.

Ranma-chan turned back to the situation at hand. She gained Ai's
attention. "Let me get this straight. All of you want to date him?"

"Why not?" Ai asked. "We do everything together."

Akane wore a nauseated look. Shampoo-kun looked at them in disbelief,
and Ranma-chan just her head sadly. That was just plain wrong.

"Do whatever you want to them," Ranma-chan told Shampoo-kun. "They
deserve it."

The Amazon needed no words of encouragement. Being treated like a toy
that could be exchanged from girl-to-girl all but ensured a nasty
beating for the group. A beating that would serve as a message to the
other members of the female student body as well.

Just as he was about to move forward, Akane called out, "Wait."

"Why?" he asked, eager to get things over with.

"These girls are different," Akane explained, noticing she had gained
Ranma-chan's attention as well. "They're dangerous. They haven't been
around because the principal sent them away on a cheerleader tour of
the world. The stated reason was that they were to represent Furinkan,
but the real reason was because they were becoming too powerful and
dangerous."

Ranma-chan scoffed at that. "And just how are cheerleaders dangerous?"

"They know Martial Arts Cheeleading," Akane said.

Ranma-chan's scoff turned into a laugh. "There ain't no such thing as
Martial Arts Cheerleading."

Ai moved forward. "Oh, but there is, and we have perfected it. We have
traveled all over the world, challenging the other schools'
cheerleader squads and triumphing over all of them. Now we stand
alone. The pinnacle which others try to reach yet fail to achieve. We
are a thing like unto gods."

"Goddesses," Megumi corrected.

"Whatever." Ai gave a dismissive gesture at the interruption.

Shampoo-kun remained unimpressed. Regardless of his curse, he was
still the champion of his generation and more than a match for a bunch
of foreign, pretty-girl would-be martial artists. He moved forward
again and launched himself at the quintet of girls, targeting their
buxom blonde leader as the first one to go down. Without her, there
was a reasonable chance the others would falter, or at least be thrown
off their battle plan. It depended on how important Ai was to the rest
of the team.

To Shampoo-kun's surprise, Ai stood her ground. The surprise changed
to delight as he threw a punch towards the blonde, wondering if Akane
had overrated the girl's battle prowess. He threw his fist right for
Ai's smiling face.

Things seemed to go into slow-motion as Ai threw herself backward, the
fist missing her by barely a centimeter. The move turned into a
cartwheel, removing her completely from her attacker's reach.
Shampoo-kun's eyes began to follow Ai's backward path, when he
realized why Ai had remained motionless until the last second. She had
used her body to shield the Amazon's view of Kyoko and Kaede, who were
coming in low on Shampoo-kun. He had already been off-balance from the
first failed attack and easily fell prey to the double-shoulder block
the girls aimed at his legs. Rather than being knocked backward as the
duo simultaneously struck, the girls lifted up and tossed Shampoo-kun
high into the air. He twisted in mid-flight and was about to regain
his balance, when he understood why the girls had hurled him upwards
in the first place. Ayeka and Megumi had already been airborne and
were just now coming down from the apex of their leap. Two feet
connected with his mid-section, winding him and driving him downward
towards the ground.

The only warning he received, that told him something else would
connect with him before the ground, was a flash of blonde hair. He
only managed a glimpse of it right before a baton struck him in the
back hard enough to redirect his airborne course from straight down to
one more parallel to the ground. He landed roughly about fifteen feet
away.

Ignoring the pain from his chest and back, Shampoo-kun forced himself
to his feet with as little of a grimace as he could muster. There was
no way he was going to let them know how effective their attack had
been. However, the only result that seemed to generate was a grin of
pleasure from Ai.

"Oh, a tough one," she purred as Shampoo-kun once again caught her
undressing him with her eyes.

Anger come bubbling to the surface as he once again charged at Ai, but
this time veered off at the last moment and went after the girl to
Ai's left, Kaede. The shift worked well enough for him to connect with
one blow before the others recovered and fell on him with another
well-choreographed attack. Having a better measure of their combat
abilities, he was able to block all but three of the blows.

This time he voluntarily backed off, only to quickly attack again
before the girls could set up yet another coordinated assault against
him. His action did little good. For the one blow he landed on Kyoko,
four others struck on all sides. He was forced to back off once again,
breathing hard as the pain from the blows he had taken to the stomach
throbbed worse than ever.

Ai came to the forefront of the girls once again, her gaze even more
predatory than before. "You are a strong one, Ranma. Whole teams have
fallen to less than what we have attacked you with. But conventional
attacks are not our only technique." She turned to the others. "Girls!
Exploding Pompom Attack!"

Five sets of identical blue and yellow pompoms appeared in the
cheerleaders' hands. They all gave a rousing cheer and leaped into the
air, pointing their pompoms towards their target. Tiny blue pellets
began shooting outwards, exploding as they struck the ground.
Shampoo-kun did his best to avoid the explosions as the ground blew up
around him.

Ranma-chan was watching the unorthodox attack in awe when he noticed
several stray pellets heading towards her and Akane.

"Look out!" she shouted as she shoved Akane out of the way, then tried
to evade the explosions herself. She managed to avoid a direct hit,
but was caught in the blast radius of the explosion, which hurled her
several feet.

"That's it!" she spat as she got up, affording a glance towards Akane
to make sure she had not been caught in the explosion. "You guys are
way too dangerous to be allowed to roam free. You can hurt someone
like that."

"That someone is going to be you, if you don't get out of our way!"
Ayeka sneered at the impudent remark.

Ranma-chan gave a grin that was anything but reassuring as she cracked
her knuckles. "Oh, is that so?"

While Ranma-chan had her 'talk' with Ayeka, Kaede returned her
attention to Shampoo-kun. She threw a set of pompoms at him. He was
about to move out of the way when he realized they would pass on
either side of him, missing him by no more than a few inches.

It was as they were about to pass that he realized what a mistake he
had made. The pompoms were attached together by a cord, which then
proceeded to wrap themselves around Shampoo-kun's legs like a set of
bolos would, effectively trapping him. Kaede gave a cry of delight at
finally rendering her foe motionless and ripe for the kill. She leapt
high in the air and aimed for Shampoo-kun's head, only to have her
target moved out from under her by a red-haired blur.

Ranma-chan held the Amazon in her arms. She maneuvered it so she had
one hand free, then severed the cord binding Shampoo-kun's legs,
allowing him to regain his feet.

"Time to take care of business." Ranma-chan dropped into a fighting
stance and Shampoo-kun followed suit.

The cheerleaders appeared undaunted as they ran into combat once
again. This time, Ranma-chan made a difference as even the group
attacks became less effective, the squad receiving as much punishment
as they dished out. For five minutes a fierce battle raged before Ai
called out to her team to back off, even though they were starting to
gain the advantage.

Ai shot a defiant glare towards her opponents. "You have foolishly
earned the full wrath of myself and my team. None shall defy us and
our will." She gave a hand signal to the squad, which then set up in a
wide line.

Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun stared at them, bewildered at what they
might be up to. The squad did not have their pompoms out, most likely
meaning some other bizarre form of attack.

"It's time!" Ai gave another hand signal. All of the members took a
deep breath and shouted. "THAT'S ALL RIGHT! THAT'S O.K.! THEY CAN'T
BEAT US ANYWAY!"

The martial arts cheering attack was unlike anything either had
experienced before. The ground in front of and beneath them swelled
and exploded, sending them both high in the air. An ungracious landing
followed as both hit hard, each stunned. They were barely able to
track the squad as they repositioned themselves once more.

Ai moved forward. "Don't get me wrong, this has been fun, but its time
to end this for good. " She raised her arm dramatically, pointing it
skyward. "Witness the awesome power of our new finishing maneuver that
we came up with just last week. Furinkan High Cheerleader Final
Attack: The Whirlwind Pyramid!"

"I thought you said you watched the Science Ninja Team Gatchaman do
this, and we were just copying it," Kyoko said.

"Be quiet," hissed Ai. "Form up!"

The girls obeyed. Ayeka and Megumi stood next to each other, backs
straight. Kyoko and Kaede leaped upon their shoulders, which was
followed by Ai jumping on top of Kyoko and Kaede's shoulders as well,
forming the top of the 'pyramid.'

"I don't like the looks of this," Ranma-chan muttered as she watched
the group begin to spin in a circle. Faster and faster the group
moved, until they were nothing more than a blurring tornado.
Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun continued watching in dread as the
miniature whirlwind took off. Both tensed up, though were at a loss as
to how to defend themselves from that sort of attack. Higher and
higher the team soared, while the duo on the ground waited for an
attack to occur. They were still waiting for something to happen when
they heard a series of cries come from within the whirlwind.

"I told you we haven't mastered this well enough to use outdoors!"

"I'm getting really dizzy!"

"Stop spinning. I think I'm going to be sick!"

"How do we stop this thing?!"

Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun relaxed as the whirlwind disappeared off in
the distance. Akane came up to the duo, scanning the horizon the
entire time. "Well, that was anti-climactic."

Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun stood up and brushed themselves off,
neither seeming particularly happy.

"That was terrible," the redhead grumbled.

Akane looked at her, surprised. "What do you mean? You beat them."

Shampoo-kun joined in. "No. Ranma right. Is bad. They beat selves. We
no defeat them. If not mess up, girls win."

"C'mon. Let's go home." Ranma-chan let the way, dejected over the
perceived failure.

"My boy was beaten by a bunch of girls. Oh, the indignity of it all!"
Genma wailed.

A bonbori was introduced to the top of his head. "There nothing wrong
with girl beating boy in fight. Is way things should be." She left the
bonbori where it was as a reminder of that fact.

"You didn't see them, Pop. They moved perfectly with one another,"
Ranma pointed out as he made his way back to the center of the dojo to
practice with Shampoo once again. "Me or Shampoo could take any one of
them on easy. Probably any two. I might be able to do three of them if
that Ai girl wasn't one of them, but not all of them. Even together,
me and Shampoo won't be able to beat them. At least until we figure
out some way to break up their attacks."

"Just take them one at a time," Genma said.

"It's not that easy," Akane said. "They operate as a team and won't
willingly fight separately. It's like fighting one body with ten legs
and arms."

"There's some sort of weakness," Ranma insisted. "No technique is
perfect."

"Maybe if we gang up on them that will work. How about I help out?"
Akane said.

Ranma gave her an angry look. "I don't need no help. I wouldn't let
Shampoo help me except they attacked her first, and she's their real
target."

Akane scowled back and went to lean against the wall. He didn't have
to be so rude about it.

"I know how you can beat them."

All eyes turned to Nabiki, who had just entered the dojo.

Ranma was over to her side in a flash. "How? How? Tell me!"

Nabiki gave no outward sign of being moved by the plea. "How important
is it to you?"

"Really, really important!"

Nabiki shook her head. "No. I mean how $important$ is it to you?"

Ranma sighed. They reached a monetary agreement and she gave him the
information. He was practically bubbling in excitement. If what she
had told him was correct, taking down the cheerleader squad was going
to be easy.

The next day went along just as they had thought. As Ranma-chan and
the others had suspected, the cheerleader squad was waiting for them
before school. Also, as she thought might happen, a crowd had gathered
to witness the upcoming battle as well. Already Nabiki was circulating
the crowd with her friends, taking bets. Ranma-chan did manage to
catch someone mentioning that the odds were in her side's favor. That
was a good sign. It meant that Nabiki had confidence in the
information she had given.

Ai and the other members of her squad were cheering at the crowd,
trying to get them fired up and into the fight. Ranma-chan was annoyed
to note that the crowd's cheers were loudest when it came to
describing the squad and what little chance she and Shampoo-kun had of
winning.

"Let's get this over with!" Ranma-chan shouted at the squad, who gave
one last rousing cheer before taking their places on the makeshift
field of combat.

"Ranma," Ai said, "We already have a dating schedule picked out for
you. Assuming you are still in working condition for tonight, it will
be me who goes out with you. Tomorrow it's Kaede-"

"Hey!" Kaede interrupted. "That's not fair! You'll wear him out and my
date will suck."

"I'm the captain, and what I say goes," Ai said with a hint of menace
in her voice. Kaede's complaints ended with that.

Shampoo-kun spoke up. "Ranma sorry, cheerleaders waste time and make
useless schedule. You no going to win fight."

"We'll see," Ai replied as the squad went into their attack positions.

Ranma-chan took note of this and whispered conspiratorially in her
partner's ear, "Look at the way they're tanding."

"They make it too, too easy," he agreed.

Much to the surprise of the cheerleaders, the duo took the initiative
and attacked. Luck was with the duo as their plan began to work.
Shampoo-kun managed to separate Kyoko and Kaede from the others and
allowed Ranma-chan to hold the other three off while he sent the plan
into motion.

Shampoo-kun allowed the two to double-team him and simply defended
himself, content to wait for just the right moment. It came only about
a minute into the fight. He at last attacked, slipping a kick past
Kaede's guard. The blow would not take her out, but rather would keep
her out of the way for the next few seconds.

Kyoko saw this and went into a defensive posture, intent on waiting
until Kaede recovered and the two would begin to attack on concert
again. She was taken by surprise when, instead of attacking,
Shampoo-kun gave her a loving stare. Her heart all but melted under
that gaze.

The Amazon spoke up. "It too bad Ranma no interested in dating
cheerleader now. If Ranma was, would date Kyoko for sure."

"Really?" Kyoko dropped her guard. She had always thought all of the
other girls on the team were much prettier than her.

"It true." Shampoo-kun moved closer, still not attacking, but instead
tilted Kyoko's chin up so she was looking directly into her eyes.
"Kyoko is prettiest girl on team."

"Wow," Kyoko murmured. She was starting to slip into a fantasy when
the recovered Kaede grabbed her and shook her by the shoulders.

"Snap out of it! He's just lying to you, so you won't attack him."
Kaede cursed her partner's infamous gullibility. Besides, she was the
prettiest girl on the team.

"Kaede should no be jealous just because Kyoko much, much prettier
than her," Shampoo-kun taunted.

Kaede's face began to twitch as she released her hold on Kyoko and
spun in anger towards Shampoo-kun. "What are you, blind?! I am ten
times more attractive than that cow!"

That snapped Kyoko out of another fantasy that had threatened to take
root. "Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Simple," Kaede stated proudly. "I am clearly the best looking girl,
not only on this team, but in this entire school. While you are just
sort of...there."

"Well Ranma thinks I'm prettier than you," Kyoko retorted.

"That right." Shampoo-kun smiled, confident that was the final move he
needed to make.

Kaede's facial twitching became even more fierce. "Liar! I'm better
looking than this cow!"

Kyoko began to tremble in anger herself. "I am not a cow,
Thunderthighs."

"My thighs are not thick! You take that back!" Kaede attacked Kyoko,
who attacked right back. The pair completely abandoned their martial
arts skills in favor of a good old-fashioned cat fight. Shampoo-kun
admired his handiwork for a moment before going to help Ranma-chan.

As Ranma-chan had told her father the night before, even she could not
fight off three cheerleaders at the same time, especially with Ai
involved. She took a flying leap kick at Megumi, who cartwheeled out
of the way to come up next to Ayeka.

"AIRRRRR KICK!" the two shouted together. The redhead was surprised to
feel herself struck by what felt like a blow. She had not anticipated
on them only needing two people to do the cheering attacks, and she
began to
wonder if she was going to be able to hold out long enough for either
Shampoo-kun to take care of his duo or if Nabiki would move into
position. One glance afforded to the bleachers showed that Nabiki was
at her prearranged place and the next phase of the plan could take
effect. They had not even had to pay her anything, since it was in her
best interest to see the cheerleading squad lose, due to the way the
bets had been wagered.

Ranma-chan was trying to figure out how to get Ayeka to stop attacking
when the cheerleader did it on her own. "You're good. Why don't you
join us?"

Ranma-chan smiled. Things were working out even better than she had
hoped, for a change. "I would, but I wouldn't want to make you look
bad."

The reply was little more than a scoff as Ayeka said, "Do you really
think your martial arts are that good?"

"I don't mean my martial arts, I mean my looks." She let that sink in.
Seeing Ayeka begin to quiver, she added. "After all, if I were to
stand next to you it would make your hips look even bigger than they
are."

"My hips are not big!" That had always been a sticking point of Ayeka
Hibishi. When she was smaller, people had always said she had 'good
hips' which meant they were big. Oh sure, her mother's friends always
said that just meant she would be good at having children, but she
didn't want to have big hips. She wanted to have normal ones, like all
the other girls. But every now and then, someone would mention them,
then her martial arts cheerleading would come into play as she
'corrected' their behavior.

It was time for the second part of the plan: acting sympathetic to
Ayeka to redirect her anger away from him. "There is nothing wrong
with that. I have a friend named Akane Tendou whose hips are at least
as big as yours."

"HEY!" Akane shouted from her place in the stands. That particular
comment had not been part of the plan.

Nabiki sat in the crowded bleachers and watched Ayeka's still fuming
form on the field. The plan had come together perfectly. She squatted
out of sight behind Kunou, pulled out a megaphone, and shouted, "Look
everyone! Shampoo is fighting the big-hipped one!"

For one brief moment everything stopped. Ayeka slowly turned in the
direction of where the comment had came from. Nearly everyone gasped
as they saw an intricate network of veins bulge out upon Ayeka's face.
An intensely blue aura shot out from her, almost extending far enough
to hit Ranma-chan. The shorter girl made certain to increase her
distance from the glowing girl. She was not the only one as Ai and
Megumi ran for cover, knowing that it was too late and that the 'Ayeka
Bomb' was about to explode.

"WHO... SAID ...THAT!" Ayeka barely managed to get out.

Nabiki stood up from her position from behind the still as yet unaware
Kunou, who had spent the entire time fixated on Ranma-chan, and
pointed to him. Nabiki was in motion less than a second later, trying
to get as much distance between her and the scapegoat as she could. A
moment later, the rest of the student body, save Kunou, ran for their
lives as well.

With an incoherent scream, Ayeka leaped towards Kunou like a human
missile. Kunou, at last tearing his gaze from his vision of
loveliness, noted Ayeka's approach. "I see," he said to himself. "My
handsome features have captured yet another sweet damsel's fancy. She
approaches me, no doubt, to ask if I would date her. Truly a tempting
offer, but alas, my heart belongs only to Akane Tendo and Shampoo. I
must refuse this damsel, but gently lest I break her fragile heart."
He stood up and proudly announced, "I cannot date you!"

Ayeka impacted with the bleachers, blowing up the entire thing in a
huge blue explosion. Nabiki wondered if those were the last words that
the world would hear pass from the lips of Tatewaki Kunou. Once the
smoke cleared, she was able to make out Ayeka's unconscious form next
to a teetering Kunou.

"She did not take that very well." Kunou at last hit the ground,
unconscious.

Ai and Megumi looked for Kyoko and Kaede, spotted them, then looked
for Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun. hey saw them, then looked at each
other.

"It doesn't look like I'll be going out tonight," Ai sighed. Megumi
just gave her a weak look, then paled as an evilly grinning Ranma-chan
and Shampoo-kun approached them, the promise of violence gleaming in
their eyes.

One beating later, a defeated Ai stared mournfully at her opponents.
"How did you do it?"

Ranma-chan openly smirked at the girl. "You guys were tough and your
technique was impressive, but you have one flaw. Your vanity. Once we
learned how conceited you guys were, we concentrated on exploiting
that. After a few of you were out of the way, it was easy."

Nabiki and Akane came over to the victorious duo, each with their own
feelings on the matter.

"I cleaned up," Nabiki said as she continued to count a wad of cash in
hand.

"Will we see any of that money?" Ranma-chan asked.

"Look all you want at it," Nabiki offered as she spread it in a fan in
her hand until Ranma-chan turned away in annoyance.

It was Akane's turn as she spoke through gritted teeth. "There is
still the little matter of my hips to discuss."

"There is nothing little about the matter of your hips," Ranma-chan
said bluntly. Akane was in the mood to reciprocate, and bluntly punted
her away.

"Busy day," Nabiki confided to Shampoo-kun as they finally made their
way into the school.

Akane was in a far more pleasant mood, Ranma-chan's grumbling about
'violent tomboys who can't take criticism' upon the redhead's return
to school all but forgotten. The rest of the day had gone well,
everyone pleased at the victory over the annoying cheerleaders. Upon
returning home, she decided to go through her katas. She had to admit,
Shampoo's presence had, for some reason, urged her to practice her
martial arts harder, forcing her to press through katas that she would
have previously just gone through the motions of. She was so focused
on practice, that she failed to notice her father's presence until he
applauded her when she was through.

"Impressive," he complimented.

Akane beamed at the praise, not that her father was stingy with his
approval, but it reinforced what she had already believed. "Thanks,
Dad. I've been practicing a lot with Ranma and Shampoo."

Soun moved forward into the dojo to stand next to Akane. "That's what
I have been concerned about. You seem to spend all of your time
either studying or practicing lately. So, I have decided you should go
out and have a good time tonight, on me."

Akane was a bit surprised at the sudden gesture. Still, he was right
about her not doing much for herself lately. She hadn't even had a
chance to hang out with Sayuri or her other friends. "Thanks, dad."
Her mind was already racing with what she and the others could do.

Soun clapped his hands in excitement. "I'm sure Ranma and you will
have a marvelous time together."

"I'm sure we wi...wait a minute. What do you mean, 'Ranma and me?'"
Now things were starting to become clear, and Akane was not sure she
liked what she was seeing.

As usual, Soun missed the suspicious look now in his daughter's eyes.
"Saotome and I decided that it is about time you two went out on a
date. After all, you are already engaged."

"Not that I had any choice in the matter," Akane grumbled.

"Now, now," Soun cajoled. "Give the boy a chance. I am sure that if
you spend some time with him, you will learn he is a kind and caring
fellow."

Akane wondered if he was talking about the same Ranma Saotome she
knew. "What will happen is that he will eventually say something
terrible about me. That's what always happens. It's like a reflex or
something."

"Please, Akane. Do it for your father."

Akane recoiled as she noticed the first signs of tears in Soun's eyes.
The battle was as good as lost now, so she ceded the fight for the
evening. "All right, I'll go." But she wasn't going to like it.

Ranma was doing a one-armed handstand as he tried to focus his
concentration. Before Jusenkyou, he had little trouble slipping off
into a meditative state while upside down. But since then he had been
unable to regain his focus. Lately, though, things had changed, and he
could feel the edges of a meditative state almost upon him.

"Boy, you look sort of tired."

Ranma lost his concentration at the sound of his father's voice.
Deciding he wasn't going to succeed tonight, he came out of the
handstand and stood up, so he was looking at his father face to face.
"Ah, I'm fine. Horsing around with those cheerleaders barely got me
warmed up."

Genma took off his glasses and wiped them clean. "A martial artist
always needs to be in top form. Take the night off, boy. And here's
some money." Genma held out a small amount of money and all but shoved
it into Ranma's hands.

Almost reflexively, Ranma grabbed the money. Just as he took it out of
Genma's hands, the whole unusual nature of the situation caught up to
him. "What's going on, Pop? You don't give anything to anyone unless
there are strings attached."

Genma actually had the audacity to sound offended. "Nonsense, my boy.
No strings attached. You need a break. Have a good night with Akane."

Ranma's eyebrow shot up at that. "And what exactly does Akane have to
do with this money?"

"You need the money to treat your fiancee right when the two of you go
out on your date tonight." Genma placed his arm around Ranma's
shoulder. "Trust me, boy. Women love it when you shower them with two
things: attention and money."

"I don't want to shower her with nothin'!" Ranma shot back. It figured
his father would be at it again. He knew he should have expected it.
It had been at least twenty-four whole hours since the last time his
father had tried to do something to push Ranma towards her.

Genma tightened his grip. "Akane is your fiancee. You should treat her
better. Go out on a date and have fun."

Ranma wriggled out of his father's grip. "I've got a better idea.
Shampoo's free tonight. Why don't we engage her to Akane this time and
let the two of them go out?"

"Quit joking around," Genma said. "Just treat her nice and the two of
you will get along fine. Besides, Tendou and I made reservations for
the two of you at a nice restaurant. This is the only time you'll get
a chance to eat really good food, so don't blow it."

"Unlike you, I don't live for food." Ranma crossed his arms, satisfied
with himself until a loud grumble from his stomach betrayed him.
Reconsidering his position, he thought that perhaps it would be nice
to actually eat out for a change. And going out with Akane might
actually keep both fathers from continuously trying to ram the two of
them together. "I'll do it."

Genma slapped Ranma on the back, delighted that the boy was finally
starting to see reason. "That's the spirit. Go up and get changed, and
don't worry about asking Akane out, she already agreed to it." Well,
if Soun had done his job correctly, she already had. It was long past
time the boy starting taking his responsibilities seriously. Ranma was
almost out of the room when Genma remembered one last detail. He
fished a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket. "Here you go,
boy."

"What is it?" Ranma asked as he eyed the paper suspiciously.

"Your itinerary."

"And exactly what do I need an itinerary for?"

Genma shook his head sadly at his son's naiveté. "You don't know the
first thing about romancing a girl. Tendou and I put our minds
together and came up with this surefire plan to impress her. Take her
to all of these places and she'll thank you for it."

Ranma rolled his eyes and accepted the paper. There was no telling
what the two men had come up with. However, arguing with his father
would accomplish nothing. All Ranma wanted to do was eat.

A third dress joined its two companions on the bed. Given Akane's
mood, it was probably lucky it hadn't ended up in the garbage instead.
She felt like just throwing everything in her closet out and giving
up. It seemed as though everything she owned made her look like she
was fourteen. Technically it was her first date ever, not that she
cared what she looked like for Ranma. That was not why she was worried
at all. No, she just didn't want everyone else to think she looked too
young.

"Right," she said out loud. And that settled that. She tried on a
fourth dress that looked like it might have a chance of not making
her look even younger than she already was.

A rapping on the door stopped any further debates as to whether or not
the dress was good enough to wear. "Who is it?"

"It's me, Ranma," a low voice said from the other side of the door.

Akane's eyes snapped to her mirror to look herself over one more time.
The dress would have to do. "Come in."

Ranma opened the door just enough to slip inside before quickly
closing it behind him. "We gotta get out of here quick."

"Why?" Akane noticed his furtive gestures, and wondered what he had
done now.

"Our fathers are setting up a banner and party stuff downstairs for
our first 'date.' I don't want them to spoil the mood," he explained.

Akane stared at him in surprise. "You don't?"

"Nah," Ranma shook his head. "All that fiancee stuff will just spoil
my digestion."

So that was what it was all about. "I get it. You don't want to be
seen with me!" Akane snapped.

Ranma stared at her, bewildered at how she had come up with that one.
"No, it's not that. I just want to have a good time and not think
about that stuff."

That had caught her offguard. She had her doubts about him taking the
date seriously, assuming he had been somehow forced into it like she
had. But now she was beginning to wonder. At least what he said made
sense. "I understand. I don't like being reminded of it either."

That was a relief to Ranma. He had been half-way certain she would
have balked at the idea of keeping quiet. "Then let's head out the
window." Seeing her agree, he gently picked her up in his arms and
jumped out the window. Akane barely stifled a gasp as she found
herself floating in midair briefly. Despite the height, she felt safe
being in Ranma's arms. There were no doubts that he would drop her,
and that reassurance put her at ease. Maybe things would turn out all
right after all.

A surprisingly quiet evening, that was what it was. They had made it
to the restaurant without any stray thunderstorms or buckets of water
landing on Ranma. No one jumping out of some bushes and challenging
him to a fight. No Kunou to glomp either one, or more likely, both of
them. No fathers to hassle or just make a general nuisance of
themselves. And the food wasn't half bad either. All of her fears of
SOMETHING going wrong on their date seemed to have been unfounded.
Ranma had not even said anything rude or insulting the entire time,
and it had been well over two hours that the duo had been alone with
one another.

Akane decided it was time to let Ranma know about that. She turned to
him "Ranma?"

"Murph?" he said through the chicken he had stuffed into his mouth.

Okay, Akane thought. Maybe there was another reason why he had not put
his foot in his mouth yet. His table manners were pretty gross, but at
least they were having a good time. She decided to leave it at that
for now.

"Our father's picked that one, didn't they?" Akane asked as the two
left the movie theater.

Ranma gave a derisive snort. "What was the giveaway? Was it the fact
the story involved a man and his fiancee that didn't want to be
engaged at first, but fall in love and get married later?"

"It was something like that," Akane chuckled. The experience at the
movie theater had proved the same as dinner. Akane was amazed that
Ranma had still been hungry, even after eating a large meal. He had
gotten a two gallon tub of popcorn and put so much of the buttery
liquid flavoring on it that she was certain she could hear his
arteries clog. Besides the constant munching, things had gone okay. It
was true that Ranma was not behaving exactly the way she thought guys
were supposed to act on a date, but she wasn't sure exactly how uys
WERE supposed to act on a date. Most of the things her girlfriends
said they did made it sound like the guys were perverts, something she
would have smacked Ranma for if he tried doing anything like that. But
actually he had acted like...well not like a gentleman, but he clearly
wasn't interested in trying anything. Oddly, that put her even more at
ease than before.

With those concerns laid to rest, she turned to other matters. "What's
next in the schedule?"

Ranma brought out the itinerary and looked it over again. He still
wondered why he was following it, but then he really had no idea of
what else to do. "It says we're supposed to go to a wax museum. That's
stupid. Whoever heard of going to a wax museum on a date?"

"It sounds neat," Akane said.

Ranma looked at her in surprise. "You think so?"

"Uh-huh."

The whole thing sounded silly to him, but how much worse could it be
than the theater? He agreed and the pair of them set off for the wax
museum.

Arriving there, they saw that the place was what they had expected.
There were wax statues of famous people, movie monsters, politicians,
infamous criminals, and infamous magical girls. Ranma had no idea
there was
ever a 'Magical Bondage Girl Lashina' that had stalked the streets of
Japan. The way the statue had been dressed had given him chills that
ran down his spine, and he wondered if he would have nightmares about
her and her 'Whip of Pain and Pleasure'. He wished he hadn't come at
all.

Akane, on the other hand, had seemed to enjoy the visit. "This place
is neat. I haven't been to one of these in years."

"Yeah, whatever," Ranma answered, now somewhat bored. He looked ahead
to see if they were getting close to the exit.

"Hmm, that's interesting," Akane said.

"What is?" Ranma asked, looking at her to see if he could find what
she was talking about.

"Magical Bondage Girl Lashina's cute animal sidekick, Rugmuncher,
looks an awful lot like Mousse. The panda even has robes and glasses
just like him. You think maybe it fell into that spring too?"

Ranma was surprised at the resemblance. "Maybe Mousse had a brother or
something. Hey! The statue moved. I didn't know they were animated."

"They aren't," Akane pointed out.

Understanding dawned on Ranma just as Mousse-panda swiped at him with
a furry fist. It connected solidly and drove Ranma into several of the
politician statues. Recovering quickly, Ranma dodged the next two
swipes
and landed a solid kick into Mousse-panda's gut. However, the cursed
boy's heavy form prevented him from being moved by the strike. He
lowered his shoulder and charged Ranma, driving him through one of the
thin walls separating the statue displays.

Ranma was still on his back, winded for a moment, when he saw
Mousse-panda barreling forward at him once again. Ranma knew he wasn't
going to be able to get up before the cursed boy was upon him. He
cursed his luck. What a stupid way to die. Mauled to death by a blind
panda.

With his goal at long last in sight -so to speak, since his glasses
had been knocked around and now rested on his forehead-- Mousse-panda
bared his teeth at the form before him. It had been luck that he had
spotted the accursed Saotome on his way into the wax museum. The plan
for substituting his cursed form for one of the statues and lay in
ambush had been sheer genius, and it had paid off. Now he would put an
end to Ranma once and for all.

Mousse-panda leaped upon the blurry form and sunk his teeth into his
neck. Rather than the hot taste of blood he had thought would be
there, he met only some kind of gooey substance. Ranma's flavor was
just awful. He quit biting and spat out whatever had been inside
Ranma. He then realized that, somehow, Ranma was still standing. He
lowered his glasses to see how it was possible. With his vision
actually being able to focus, he locked sight on what he had attacked
and recoiled, horrified.

Ranma had been changed into a flesh golem.

"Cut that out!" A fist met the back of Mousse-panda's head, knocking
his glasses askew once more. Ranma was grossly insulted that
Mousse-panda had mistaken a statue of Frankenstein's Monster for him.

Mousse-panda recovered enough to charge again. Ranma quickly realized
that, while the Chinese youth's advantage of surprise was lost, the
edge in close quarters combat Mousse-panda's furry bulk gave him
combined with Ranma's lack of fighting room made the fight almost
even.

Ranma was trying to figure out how to get past Mousse-panda and
outside, when his opponent hurled an egg at him. Sensing the danger,
Ranma nimbly dodged out of the way, allowing the egg to hit a wall and
explode. Once the dust settled, Ranma saw that there was now a hole
leading outside.

"Catch me if you can!" Ranma taunted as he ran outside the hole.
Mousse-panda growled in fury and tried following, only to strike the
wall next to the opening. After taking a minute to regain his senses,
he charged out the hole to attack Ranma once more.

Upon emerging outside Mousse-panda began looking for Ranma, bellowing
out in panda talk of what a coward he was for ducking out of a fight.
That Ranma had absolutely no idea of how to understand panda never
crossed his mind.

"I'm over here!"

The voice was unquestionably Ranma's. Mousse-panda went around the
corner of the building to locate the source of the sound. The side
street was unusually dark, but it took only a moment for him to spot
his opponent, standing in the shadows of the street, next to a broken
fire hydrant that was spraying water around. The only thing he was
able to make out was the familiar tuxedo on the shadowy figure's form.

Blinded with anger, he simply charged forward, intent on mauling Ranma
once again. He splashed water from the pool collecting around the
figure and leaped onto the figure. Even Mousse-panda was surprised at
how easily Ranma fell over. He actually took a moment to look closely
at his opponent, rather than attacking him again. The Chinese youth
was shocked to see the true nature of his opponent.

It was a mannequin wearing Ranma's jacket.

"Looking for me, furball?"

Mousse-panda looked in the direction of the voice: directly overhead.
He saw that Ranma was hanging upside down from a telephone pole, a
wire with sparks shooting out of the end, in his hand.

Mousse-panda didn't have time to react as Ranma dropped the live wire
into the pool. The electricity shot through the animal victim,
knocking him out.

Ranma knocked the wire out of the water before going down and
inspecting the mannequin. He examined the jacket, then pulled it on as
best as he could. "Moron. That was a rental." He considered what to do
with his unconscious attacker. Possibly a quick call to notify the zoo
one of their pandas has escaped would work. It would at least keep the
blind one out of way for a while, trying to find hot water in a panda
pen.

Akane finally located Ranma just as he was finishing the call. She
took note of the ruins of what had once been his jacket. Ranma,
irritated at the loss of the jacket, spoke up before she could say
anything.

"You were a lot of help," he said sarcastically.

Akane's temper began to flare. Everything had been fine up to the
point they were attacked. "You seemed to have everything under
control. Besides, you called me stupid the last time I tried to help
you fight him."

"I don't call distracting me by calling me an idiot help."

"Fine!" Akane shot back. "I won't assist you anymore."

"Good!" Ranma retorted. "Besides, it's not like someone as clumsy as
you could help me anyway."

That was it. Akane's temper snapped. "Fine! If you want to be that
way, then this date's off! Why don't you just go home?!" She nailed
him with a solid uppercut that hurled him away. It sure hadn't taken
long for things to deteriorate quickly. Some date it had turned out to
be.

The night air felt particularly good as Nabiki sat on the back porch,
leafing through a magazine. Everything was actually quite peaceful,
for a change. Peace was something that had been in short supply since
the arrival of the Saotomes and Shampoo. Still, excitement also
tended to lead to opportunities, and Nabiki Tendou was not one to ever
pass up one of those.

Nabiki paused in her casual reading and noted that she was not the
only one present. Kasumi was cleaning the dining room table, while
Genma and Shampoo were discussing something or other about martial
arts as they stood next to the koi pond. Nabiki was about to go back
to reading her book when a high-pitched whistling cut the night air.
It took her all of two seconds to determine what it was.

"Kasumi, better get some hot water ready. We're going to have
company."

"We are?" Kasumi asked.

Nabiki pointed up to the sky. Kasumi looked up, then nodded in
understanding as she went to get the kettle.

Shampoo made certain she was far away from the edge of the pond as the
airborne visitor made a belly-first touchdown in the pond.

Nabiki held up a white sign with the number '7' on it. Shampoo looked
at her quizzically.

"He broke his form right at the end. I think I'm being unusually
generous," she explained.

Shampoo found herself agreeing as Ranma-chan's form broke the surface
of the water, face down. "It look like Akane decide to call end to
date," Shampoo said as she took note of the tiny bubbles that drifted
up to the surface from around Ranma-chan's head.

Genma walked up to the edge of the pond and looked down. "That fool
boy. He ruined the tuxedo." Genma knew damn well he wasn't going to
pay for it.

Kasumi moved to stand next to Shampoo. "I think the number of air
bubbles is starting to slow down. Maybe you should jump in and get him
out of the pond," Kasumi told Shampoo.

Shampoo frowned at the water. "Shampoo not want to get wet." She
missed the faint look of disappointment that crossed Kasumi's face.

"Here," Nabiki handed Shampoo a boat hook. The Amazon used it to snag
Ranma-chan by the back of the remains of the tuxedo's collar and
hoisted her in the air. The redhead shook her head back and forth to
try to get rid of some of the water and revive herself.

"So, how did your date go?" Genma asked.

Ranma-chan shrugged. "Well, we had a nice dinner, saw a bad movie,
went to a wax museum, got attacked by a nearsighted panda, and then I
got sent here courtesy of the Akane Uppercut Express."

"So the evening went pretty much the way you figured it would?" Nabiki
asked.

"Yeah." Ranma-chan shrugged. At least she had gotten a decent meal out
of the deal.

Genma began jumping up and down in joy. "This is wonderful boy!"

Ranma-chan knew she was going to be sorry, but couldn't resist. "And
how do you figure that?"

"You didn't make Akane mad until the third event of the evening. Your
relationship is improving."

"I don't consider getting clobbered by my date at any time an
'improvement.'", Ranma-chan growled. "And I didn't do anything to make
her angry. She's just got no control over her stupid temper." She let
herself off the boathook, accepted Kasumi's kettle of hot water, and
went inside to change. Now that he was male once again, he wondered
why on earth he had ever accepted an engagement to anyone. Women were
nothing but trouble.

"Cheez! Dis guy weighs a ton!" Kamiya exclaimed.

Fuji repositioned himself so he could get a better grip on his load.
"You know, I don't think this guy is one of ours."

"What makes you say that?"

"I don't remember any of our pandas walking around with a set of
robes," Fuji said as he set Mousse-panda down long enough to open the
door to the panda pen. As the door opened, the five pandas currently
in residence turned to see what was going on. Fuji and Kamiya greeted
them, then unceremoniously threw their new 'animal' into the water.

The cold liquid woke Mousse-panda. His head shot up in time to see the
steel door shut. It took him a moment to awaken fully, then do a quick
examination of where he was. Given the fact there were other pandas in
with him, it was safe to assume he was in a zoo of some kind. The area
he was in was full of plants, bamboo, and long grass. Actually, it was
a very realistic replica of the sort of environment that pandas would
live in. For a moment, he actually considered resting there and
allowing some of his strength to be restored. Pride prevented him from
considering it for long. He was a man, not an animal, and would not
allow himself to be caged.

Mousse-panda noted that the pandas watched for a moment, then began to
move around, shifting some of the bushes and rocks. Undoubtedly his
arrival had awakened them and they were trying to find something to
eat,
he assumed. He ignored them from that point onward and put his problem
to mind. Realizing that if he tried to escape the pen as a panda
someone might try to recapture him, he elected to change first. He
whipped out
a tea set and burner from his robes and began heating up some water.

It was as he was heating the water that he felt something tap him on
the shoulder. He turned to see that one of the pandas was offering him
a cup filled with a substance that gave off a rich scent. Mousse-panda
looked at the other pandas and noticed that they had indeed been
looking for something to eat. Only instead of bamboo, it was a rather
large platter of delicious looking pastries which they had uncovered.
That they were wearing napkins on their laps and eating daintily did
not escape Mousse-panda's notice.

They had also apparently gotten out a large silver machine and were
pouring themselves cups of a dark brown substance that was similar to
the one that he was being offered. It took Mousse-panda a moment to
identify the machine and the contents. So, the panda was offering him
an espresso. How...sweet.

He tried fanning the flames of the burner in a panic, praying it would
heat up faster.

Part 2

....and Roses

Shampoo-kun trudged back home, the events of the day at school falling
away behind him. He was starting to get used to being attacked every
morning. Whether that was cause for concern or celebration, he could
not say. At least it was helping him stay in shape.

Upon arriving, Shampoo-kun heard the sounds of two girl conversing
from the living room. He walked into the room, only to find Akane
talking to a girl whose face was bandaged up. The uniform of the
unknown female identified her as being from Furinkan, however. He
tensed up, just in case it was some kind of unorthodox ambush.

Shampoo-kun overheard Akane saying, 'Well, if it's for the school, I
guess I'll have to do it.' That piqued his curiosity.

"What going on?" Shampoo-kun asked as he leaned against a wall and
watched the two girls.

The girl got up to depart, giving Shampoo-kun a sweet 'good-bye'. That
left Akane to explain things. "She needed help. She belongs to the
Furinkan Gymnastics Team. They have a match coming up with St.
Hebereke's. The star on that team is some nutcase called "The Black
Rose." She ambushed our team before the contest, so they couldn't
compete. From what I understand, she does that to all her opponents,
so she'll win all her matches by default."

Shampoo-kun processed that rather unusual information. "So why they
come to you? You no gymnast."

Akane shrugged. "Well, it's Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics. She
explained how it works to me. You have to use weapons to take out
your opponent during the match and since I'm one of the few martial
artists she knows, she came to me. It's for the pride of the school. I
can't say no."

That made sense to Shampoo-kun. He went to get some hot water and let
Akane go to the dojo to practice. After talking with Kasumi for about
an hour, Shampoo's curiosity won out and she went to the dojo to check
up on Akane. She wondered how the girl was doing and if she was
adapting well to the new weapons.

Akane sighed as she tried using yet another one of the gymnastic tools
the girl had left her. She knew she could do better with the hoop.
After all, she couldn't possibly get tangled up in it like she had
with the ribbon. It had taken her nearly half an hour to untie the
knot she had somehow formed when she accidentally hog-tied herself
with it.

It was as she found herself stuck in the hoop for the third time that
Shampoo entered the dojo. After taking in the bizarre scene, she
asked, "Why not let Shampoo help Akane with weapons? Shampoo learn
when very young, so should be able to teach Akane okay."

"Sure." Akane said, proving herself a quick study and learning some of
the basic ways that the ribbon and clubs could be used as weapons.
Unfortunately, her enthusiasm did not make up for her lack of grace.
As she tried one of the more difficult maneuvers, she slipped on one
of the medicine balls that had been laying on the floor and twisted
her ankle.

Shampoo felt it several times before giving Akane the verdict.
"Shampoo think it sprained, not broken. Akane should go see doctor and
make sure, though."

"Great," Akane said sadly as she allowed Shampoo to help her to her
feet. "How am I supposed to fight when I can't even walk?"

"No can stand, no can fight," Shampoo confirmed.

"But I promised. I have to be able to fight."

Shampoo thought about that for a minute. "Shampoo fight. Then Akane no
have to worry.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

Shampoo nodded. It was her school too. Besides, she was better at
fighting than any other girl at the school, except Ranma, sort of. And
just how dangerous could someone that named themselves after a flower
be?

Akane returned from her check-up from Doctor Tofu. He had confirmed
Shampoo's diagnosis of the sprain, but she was still sort of happy
from seeing him again. It had been too long since she had had an
excuse to come by, and of course the visit had been far too brief. He
was sweet, kind, and just perfect, even if he did go to pieces around
Kasumi.

Dropping by the dojo, Akane saw that Shampoo was still practicing
while Ranma watched nearby with an idle eye. He saw Akane's bandaged
foot and came over immediately. She was a bit surprised by his
concern, and found herself thinking that even though he was not as
nice as the doctor, he did have his moments. They were few and far
between, but they were there.

Seeing Shampoo was doing far better than Akane had, and not wanting to
have to be reminded of that painful fact, Akane decided to retire
early. She went up to her room, using the same amount of caution she
usually did. Occasionally some school girl would still try to sneak
into the house to ambush Shampoo-kun and mistake Akane's bedroom for
Shampoo's. Things had been improving, but Akane knew better than to
drop her guard.

Her caution paid off as she spotted a few telltale strands of black
hair sticking down from the rafters in the ceiling over her bed; the
girls' favorite ambush spot. Without hesitation, she rushed over as
fast as she could with her bad ankle, and made a tiny one-legged jump,
grabbing the hammer-wielding figure that had been hanging in the
rafters. She grabbed onto the figure by the neck of her leotard and
hurled her into the floor, hard. Akane took note that the ambushers
were starting to become more risqué in their style of clothing.

Kodachi Kunou picked herself up off the floor, stunned that her ambush
had backfired so badly. She had done some basic background research on
her upcoming opponent and had intended to fairly knock her out before
the competition. However, nothing in Akane's background indicated she
was good enough to get the jump on Kodachi the way she had.

"How did you know?" she asked Akane as she rose to her feet.

"Come on. This is the third time this week one of you has used that
place as an ambush spot. And I'll tell you the same thing I told the
others. This is not Ranma's room!"

Kodachi underestimated how winded she was from the earlier fall and
was caught off guard as Akane managed to land a fist hard enough to
knock Kodachi out of the window and high into the night sky.

Mousse felt like laughing now that he had come upon a brilliant plan
that would eliminate Ranma once and for all and set Shampoo free. All
he had to do was wait until Ranma was asleep, then run him through
with a sharp weapon. True, it would have been far more embarrassing
for Ranma to be defeated in personal combat, but being locked up in a
panda pen was too humiliating. Saotome had to pay.

"Oh, Shampoo!" Mousse cried out, unable to contain his emotions at
being so close to achieving his dreams and marrying Shampoo. At last
she would be marrying a worthy man.

He looked upwards to the heavens, praying to the gods that Shampoo
would be his by the end of the night, when he noticed something
unusual. "That's odd. I don't remember it being a full moon out
tonight. Wow! It looks really big, too."

Kodachi's rear end struck Mousse squarely in the face.

The Black Rose sat up, pleasantly surprised that her landing had been
nowhere near as hard as she had feared. As she started to rise to her
feet, her hands felt something soft. A glance beneath her and
discovered why her landing had been so mild. A man had nobly thrown
himself under her in order to break her fall.

Kodachi's heart fluttered at the boldness of the strange man who had
saved her from possible death. She managed to get a good look at his
face and her heart nearly leaped out of her chest. He was incredibly
gorgeous, his eyes being his most handsome feature. She had dreamed of
such a moment all of her life. What incredible fortune she was having
this night.

Mousse's glasses had been knocked off his face again, so he was forced
to use his hearing and sense of touch to figure out what had fallen
from the sky and landed on him. A gasp escaped from what was still
laying on him, a gasp too soft to be a man's. As he sat up, his hands
brushed up against a soft, yet firm, mass in the chest area of the
girl that had been sitting on him. There was only one woman on the
face of the earth who would have leaped upon him with such unbridled
passion.

"OH, SHAMPOO!" he glomped onto his 'love' for all he was worth.

Kodachi was deliriously happy. The gorgeous man was already showering
her with his affections. It was a dream come true. "What is your
name?"

Mousse's head jerked up. Shampoo didn't recognize him? That was cause
for concern. "It's me, Mousse."

"Mousse-sama." She pronounced his name slowly, savoring the way the
words rolled off her tongue. Even his name was perfect.

Mousse's concern doubled. That was not Shampoo's voice. His hands
searched the ground, quickly discovering the location of his glasses.
He put them on, getting a better look at who he had grabbed. "You
aren't Shampoo."

Kodachi's hands were behind her back as she arranged a special present
for her man. "I have no shampoo to give you, but perhaps these will
do."

The Black Rose brought a bouquet of her namesakes forward from behind
her back, and thrust them into Mousse's face. He had only a moment to
admire them before the bouquet emitted a cloud of paralyzing gas
causing him to freeze up. Kodachi leaned over the prone Chinese boy.
"Mousse-sama, are you ready for that which will seal our destiny?"

Knowing the feeling that was already in his heart, and subsequently
not needing an answer, she cradled his head in her hands and leaned
over to kiss him. Just as her lips were about to meet his, a foot
unceremoniously punted her off the roof and into the night sky.

Akane watched the Black Rose's silhouette cut across the moon before
fading off into the distance. "And don't come back! you hear me!" She
crossed her arms and was about to leave when she realized there was
another visitor to her abode. It took her a moment to recognize the
boy she had seen more often as a panda then a human. "You're that jerk
that ruined my date last week! Well, I'll tell you the same thing I
told your girlfriend!" She appreciated him remaining motionless,
allowing her to line him up with her good foot and get the best
distance when punting him away as well. She was on target as she hit
him right in the rear end and sent him even farther away than Kodachi.
"Don't come back either, you hear?!"

Akane returned inside, wondering what else the night would bring. She
wasn't even in the tournament anymore and was still getting attacked
by lunatics.

Ranma looked the scene in the gymnasium of St. Hebereke's over. The
bleachers of the large arena were packed with students from both St.
Hebereke and Furinkan, as well as other faces that were familiar to
him. Kasumi, Soun, and Genma sat together with 'ringside' seats along
the floor. Kunou was located a little ways off in the bleachers behind
them. There would be plenty of people to witness the fight on hand. He
decided to drift back to the dressing room to see how his 'fighter'
was coming along.

Akane examined Shampoo closely and stifled her thoughts of jealousy.
So she looked better in a leotard than Akane. Fine. It's not like that
was the sort of outfit Akane ran around in anyway. She had to admit,
the dark purple bodice and light purple arms and legs of the outfit
seemed to mix well with the color of her hair. She was going to look
fine in her upcoming match.

Akane still had some reservations. "Are you sure you want to do this
as a girl? You are taking a bit of a risk, with your curse and all."

"Can no go in as boy." Shampoo said. "Besides, no other person can do.
Unless want Ranma."

Akane began giggling uncontrollably, causing Shampoo to stare at her
in confusion. "What wrong, Akane?"

"I just pictured Ranma in leotards."

Shampoo sat there for a moment, confused as to why that would be the
cause of amusement, that was until the picture of it formed in her
mind. She began joining in the giggling, barely aware of the knock on
the door. Both her and Akane found it almost impossible to even manage
an 'enter.'

Ranma strolled in. The two girls both went dead silent upon his entry.
Ranma began to wonder what they thought he had done now, when they
pointed and started laughing twice as hard as before.

"What?" he asked, hands on his hips. That seemed to only set them off
more as tears started falling down their faces.

"Fine," he grumbled in a dull roar that was completely missed by the
two girls. "If that's the way you're going to be about it, I'm
leaving." He slammed the door shut behind him. Who cared if Shampoo
won anyway?

It took the girls almost a full minute to bring their laughter under
control. Once they calmed down, they headed to the ring. They moved
cautiously, watching out for any more of Kodachi's sneak attacks, like
the bouquet full of sleeping gas she had sent to Shampoo's room, which
she had narrowly avoided. Their caution was unwarranted as both
managed to make it to the ring without any problems.

Shampoo went to her corner as the other joined her. Akane was acting
as her coach. Ranma was acting as her trainer, even if he had only
helped her a little bit. And Nabiki sat on a stool as her manager.

Manager?

"Why Mercenary Girl manager?" Shampoo asked.

"Are you kidding?" Nabiki said. "Do you have any idea how much money I
make off our little venture at school? f your identity is blown, I
can kiss my cash, as well as my reputation, goodbye." Visions of
Shampoo turning into her male form in the middle of the match, and
all of the girls that had lusted after 'him' turning on Nabiki, had
haunted her the last few days. There was no telling what the female
student population of Furinkan would come up with in retribution,
though Nabiki's imagination came up with several possibilities. The
most persistent one was about being drawn and quartered by sumo pigs.

Nabiki shook off the memory and held up a kettle of hot water for
Shampoo to see. "That's why I have this, just in case."

"Well, as long as your heart is in the right place." Ranma grumbled,
suddenly glad that no one had tried to get him into that ring.

"Here she comes," Akane said, ending the chatter among them.

Everyone watched as Kodachi was lowered from the roof on what appeared
to be a swing. She was already dressed in a leotard. A black rose was
held in her mouth. She delicately removed the flower and spoke. "It is
time. Are you prepared for your downfall Akane-" She stopped abruptly,
realizing that Akane Tendou was most assuredly not the one in the
ring. It took her a moment to spot her in Shampoo's corner. She then
smiled at Akane. "A substitute. How underhanded. I admire your
sneakiness, Akane Tendou, but your subterfuge will avail you not."
Upon being set down, she turned to Shampoo. "And what is your name,
lavender one?"

Shampoo had planned for this. She already had the false name picked
out. "Am Shampoo Saotome."

Various murmurs began throughout the Furinkan crowd.
"Shampoo...Saotome... What could it mean?...Is she related to
Ranma?...Looks like him...Strong family resemblance...She's
gorgeous...It's not fair to have two family members so beautiful."

One among them paid very special attention. "Interesting," Kunou said.
"She bears the same name as my beloved Shampoo, though her appearance
is clearly different from one of my true loves. Still, to be related
to the accursed Ranma Saotome is burden enough."

"Hey, Ranma's down there too," Sayuri, who was behind Kunou, said.

Kunou began looking around. "Where? I see him not."

"I mean Ranma, Shampoo's brother, not the Ranma that's Shampoo's
bro..." Sayuri trailed off, realizing just how ridiculous she sounded
trying to explain things.

Kunou managed to piece enough of it together. "He is related to my
Shampoo?"

"Yes. He's related to the red head, not the purple head. I think." Her
own head was now starting to hurt.

That was all Kunou needed to know. He pulled out a bouquet of flowers
and rushed over to Ranma, the bouquet thrust forward in his hands. He
called out 'Ranma!' once, gaining the pig-tailed martial artist's
attention. That had the effect of causing Ranma to panic, wondering
how Kunou found out about the secret.

Kunou shoved the flowers towards Ranma. "Give these to your sister.
Tell my love I shall meet her after the match to date her."

Ranma's relief gave way to disgust as he realized Kunou really was
still giving them to him.

"Thank goodness he didn't get me any," Akane muttered under her
breath. She found another bouquet thrust into her face this time.

"Akane Tendou, these are for you. Let us date after the match," Kunou
offered.

Ranma felt his temper rising. "And just how do you date two girls at
once?"

Kunou gave a weeping, pained look. "It is difficult, but neither can
exist without my presence for overlong. A burden for myself, I
realize."

Ranma and Akane's disgust doubled.

"Did you get me any?" Nabiki asked, holding out her hand.

Kunou stared at her in confusion. "Why would I get flowers for a
mercenary such as yourself?"

Kodachi took note of the disturbance in the corner of her opponent.
"Brother dear. Why are you in the enemy's camp?"

"I apologize, my sister," Kunou shouted out. "However, I am forced to
use intermediaries for contacting my beloved."

All four of the people in Shampoo's corner looked at Kunou in shock.
"She's your sister?"

Kunou bowed his head shamefully. "She is indeed my twisted sister. The
depraved Black Rose, Kodachi Kunou."

Ranma turned green, the horrifying thought of having someone like
Kodachi also lusting after him entering into his mind for a brief
second. Some things were best left unimagined.

With a momentary lull in the revelations, one other decided to make
his presence known. Mousse leaped down from his hiding spot among the
steel beams supporting the ceiling and landed next to Akane.

"Shampoo. I heard about this fight and came to help you." He embraced
Akane.

"Let go of me, you jerk!" she shouted as she tried wiggling out of his
grasp.

Realizing he had made a mistake, he let go of her and began speaking
to one of the corner posts. "Fear not, Shampoo. I will protect you."

"Put on glasses, stupid Mousse," Shampoo said from her position in the
ring, wondering if the match was ever going to start.

At the name of one of his true loves being called, Kunou began to look
around. "Where is my beloved?"

"He means Shampoo Saotome, not Shampoo." Akane's head began to hurt,
and she wondered if it had really been so long ago things had been
less confusing.

Kodachi's eyes alighted upon Mousse, and she began jumping up and down
in glee. "Mousse-sama. You have come to witness my victory. I am so
moved." Her hands moved behind her back. A moment later, she brought
forward a bouquet of her own. "Here. Some more flowers for you."

Mousse placed his glasses on and identified what was in her hands. He
recoiled, then used a throwing ax to show his appreciation of the
gift, cutting it in half. "I don't know what your game is, but stay
away from me."

Kodachi's eyes began tearing up at the rebuke. "Mousse-sama, how can
you say such things?"

Rather than answer, Mousse finally spotted the Shampoo he was looking
for. He jumped up into the ring to be at her side. "Shampoo, my love."
He never got a chance to latch onto her as he immediately got thrown
into the mat for his troubles.

That move made it all fall into place for Kodachi. "You wicked, wicked
girl! You have somehow cast a spell on my beloved. How dare you try to
force apart two lovers." She poised dramatically before Shampoo and
made her declaration. "I will make a deal with you. If I defeat you,
you will release your hold over my Mousse so that we may be together
and you will relinquish any claim you may have on him."

Picking himself off the mat, Mousse scoffed at her. "You will never
defeat Shampoo. She is invincible and my situation is secure." He got
out of the ring and took a seat next to Ranma, intent on watching the
match for his life unfold.

Shampoo began to tremble in indecision from the unexpected situation
that had suddenly fallen into her lap. If she simply threw the fight,
she would lose Mousse forever. To be rid of his lifetime of attentions
seemed too good a chance to pass up. But there was still her pride to
think about. She had never even considered throwing a fight in her
entire life. And she had promised Akane, when she said she would fill
in for the injured girl, that she would try to win. Still, the idea of
getting rid of Mousse ate away at her. She broke out in a sweat and
grabbed her head. "Is too hard decision to make!"

"Throw it, girl!" Genma shouted from ringside. For him there was no
choice. To keep from getting hit by Mousse again, no sacrifice was too
great for him to make.

"Don't do it!" Akane shouted, understanding how tempting it would be
to her if there was a chance she could get rid of Kunou in a similar
manner.

Shampoo looked to Ranma for the deciding vote.

Ranma shrugged. "It's a no-lose situation. Do whatever you want."
Besides, if he made a deciding vote and things did not work out, he
would get the blame.

Pride won out over getting rid of the years-long problem. She looked
to Mousse. "No matter how much it hurt," he grumbled.

Kodachi saw Shampoo tense up. It didn't matter to her, She would win
Mousse one way or the other. "Prepare for your downfall," She bragged
to Shampoo before turning once again to the handsome visage of her
beloved. "Mousse-sama, we shall be together soon. OHHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

The Black Rose's last 'HO' had barely left her mouth before she
attacked. She elected to employ her ribbon, oping for an early
victory. Shampoo dodged the whip-like attack and retaliated with one
of her own. Kodachi avoided the attack so gracefully, it appeared she
had not even been trying to dodge.

"You call that an attack?" Kodachi sniffed. "This is an attack." She
switched from ribbon to pins, hurling the first one at Shampoo, which
she dodged. A second pin was batted out of the air by Shampoo's
ribbon. For the third one, Kodachi chose a somewhat bent pin that,
instead of heading towards Shampoo, sailed wide.

"Crazy Gymnast Girl no can throw straight." Shampoo said, failing to
see the club arc like a boomerang towards her back. Akane tried to
shout out a warning, but it was too late; Shampoo was struck in the
back of the head, momentarily stunned. Kodachi pressed her advantage
and switched back to her ribbon, wrapping it around Shampoo's ankles.
With a tug Shampoo ended up on her back, and was then spun around in
the air.
"So long, harridan," Kodachi said as she released her hold on Shampoo
sending her flying through the air and narrowly over the top rope. She
turned her attention to Mousse, whipping out a make-up kit and started
to apply it to her face.

Shampoo knew she only had seconds to react before being hurled out of
the ring. Almost by reflex she managed to grab the top rope with her
hands and hung on, twisting in midair in order to use the momentum of
the swing to spin between the top and second ropes. Once she revered
her momentum, she released her hold on the rope and went shooting back
into the ring, her feet pointed to Kodachi like some kind of human
missile.

Kodachi hurled the make-up kit to the floor and went into a defensive
posture, silently cursing Shampoo for avoiding certain defeat. "You
must use a weapon to attack. Bare handed attacks are prohibited."

"Shampoo know. Ball!" she shouted.

Akane was ready as she hurled a medicine ball at Kodachi's stomach. It
arrived a split second before Shampoo, allowing the Amazon to kick it
into Kodachi's stomach, rather than her feet. The effect was still the
same as Kodachi found herself gasping for air after the attack.

"A good..." Kodachi gasped for breath. "Attack. Let us see how you
deal with this. Hoop!"

One of Kodachi's seconds threw a hoop to her, which she snagged by
placing her arm through the middle of the circle. She then hurled
the hoop like a Frisbee. Shampoo sensed something wrong with the
seemingly innocent weapon and jumped over it. She watched as the hoop
went past her and sailed into the crowd, eading directly for Genma.
He barely had enough time to get his legs up when the hoop sliced
through the legs of the chair he was sitting on, causing him to fall
on his rump.

Mousse heard the 'ohhs' and 'aww's going on, but couldn't figure out
what it was about.. "I can't see anything."

Ranma picked up his chair up and spun it around, pointing it in the
right direction. "Would you please put your glasses back on,
panda-boy?"

"A good idea," Mousse placed them back on his face, then realized who
he was sitting next to. "Ranma, you enemy of women. I don't know how
you managed to substitute that bokken wielding idiot in your place,
but I will
get you this time."

Ranma looked at him in confusion. "That happened two fights ago. Why
didn't you complain about it last time? You should be angry about your
electro-shock treatment now."

"Because pandas can't talk, you fool!"

Ranma considered that for a moment. "Why don't you use signs?"

"That is the most stupid thing I ever..." Mousse stopped for a second
to truly consider that. "You know, that just might work." He pulled a
wooden sign and some markers from out of his robes and sat on the
ground. It took only a moment for him to write on the board. Once
finished, he held it up for Ranma to read. *This is actually pretty
easy. How's this?*

Ranma stomped on his head, driving it into the sign. "Don't do it when
you're human, moron! Only when you're a panda!"

Mousse picked himself up, the light gleaming off his glasses, allowing
no one to see what was behind them. The look gave him a sinister
appearance. "You will pay for that indignity, Saotome."

A set of cat's claws was upon Mousse's wrist in an instant and he
slashed at his foe. Ranma decided to take the fight away from Akane
and Nabiki, and chose to run under the ring. Mousse took the bait and
quickly followed. A moment later everyone was treated to the sight of
two dozen girls in leotards run out from under the ring.

"Why, whatever were they doing in there?" Kodachi said. Remarkably she
actually managed to sound as though she was surprised.

There were sounds of fighting from under the ring. A moment later,
Ranma, and then Mousse, emerged. Mousse looked around for Ranma,
somehow losing sight of him despite not being six feet away.

It took him a moment to spot a blurry form. "There you are, Ranma!" He
hurled a dozen knives at a blur that turned out to be Kodachi.

She barely avoided the barrage. "Mousse-sama. That's me you are
throwing at."

"Sorry." He looked around and spotted another blur. "There you are
Saotome!" He once again hurled a bunch of knives, this time at
Shampoo.

Shampoo dodged the incoming volley. "Stupid Mousse! You throw at
Shampoo."

"Forgive me, Shampoo." He drew back to throw at another blur. Now with
Shampoo identified, it was only process of elimination. "There you
are, Saotome!"

Shampoo decided to end the whole mess before he accidentally skewered
someone who could not get out of the way in time. "Mousse, you want
help Shampoo?"

"Of course." He nearly wept in joy. Shampoo needed him at last.

Rather than waiting for him to get into the ring, Shampoo wrapped her
ribbon around him and unceremoniously dumped him on his head in front
of her. She then picked him up by his ankles, held him upside down,
then started dropping him head first into the mat while maintaining
her hold on his ankles. Every time his head hit the mat, objects came
out of his robe. Knives, axes, chains, polearms, duck potty training
seats, and a Chrysler Cordoba all fell out before Shampoo finally saw
what she wanted.

Kodachi was outraged. "You harridan! Do not harm my Mousse!"

Shampoo looked at her in confusion. "What hairy den?"

"It's like a harlot," Kodachi explained.

"What har lot?"

Kodachi felt her anger build further. "Don't you understand anything?
How about this, Bimbo?"

"Shampoo not bimbo!" she shouted out. "Besides, Shampoo done with
stupid Mousse anyway." She released her hold on his ankles, dropping
him on his head. She reached down and picked up an egg that had fallen
from his robes.

"What are you going to do with that? Hard boil me to death?" Kodachi
said in amusement.

Shampoo gave a feline-like grin. "Not exactly."

She hurled the egg at Kodachi. The Black Rose watched as it landed
harmlessly at her feet. She had just enough time to smirk at Shampoo
before the egg exploded. Miraculously, Kodachi found herself blown
backward against the ropes, rather then through them, though her
leotard was thoroughly singe-covered.

Shampoo picked up another egg and hurled it too.

Kodachi was ready this time. "Oh no you don't. If you use my Mousse, I
shall use your Ranma."

Ranma was caught offguard as Kodachi's ribbon wrapped itself around
him, binding his arms to his side. He found himself hurled up in the
air and into the path of the egg.

Shampoo yelled and leaped forward, hoping to get to Ranma before the
egg. Seeing she wasn't going to make it, she lashed out with her own
ribbon, hoping to snatch the egg out of midair even as she was
airborne as well. She was partially successful as she batted the egg
off its target, but failed to snare it as it hit the ring. It caught
oth her and Ranma in the explosion. The detonation knocked Ranma loose
from the ribbon, but he quickly discovered the shockwave hurled both
he and Shampoo up into the air and clearly out of the ring.

Just as they were about to hit the floor, a powerful stream of water
hit both of them, the pressure from it pushing both of them back into
the ring.

Akane kept her fire hose's blast of water directly on them, watching
the pressure force the duo back into the ring.

"Are you insane?" Nabiki shouted.

Akane couldn't understand what Nabiki was complaining about. "I'm just
pushing them back into the ring."

"You're using cold water!"

Akane stared in horror at the stream of water that had once served as
salvation was now close to condemning both of the people caught in it.
Looking hard, she could just make out the cursed forms of Ranma and
Shampoo. Their forms would still be obscured to any others that did
not know what to look for, but once Akane ut the water, it would be
all over. Things became worse as she realized that, in spite of both
Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun's best efforts to swim against the flow,
both of them were going to be hurled out of the ring by it.

"What do we do now?!" she yelled to Nabiki.
Thoughts of self-preservation filled Nabiki's mind. They had only one
shot at keeping the truth from being discovered. "When I say kill the
hose, kill the hose." She grabbed her kettle of still steaming water
and tried timing the cursed duo's progress in the stream. "Now!" she
shouted as she hurled the kettle.

The timing was perfect as the kettle of hot water burst over them
right at the instant the stream of cold water stopped flowing. Both of
them changed back into their normal forms, the steam from the hot
water obscuring the transformation. None in the audience realized what
had actually happened.

Shampoo and Ranma landed in the ring. Shampoo turned to Ranma. "Ranma
leave. Is Shampoo fight."

Without a word of protest, Ranma got out of the ring. The moment he
was out, Shampoo shouted to Akane to throw her the bonboris. The
Amazon easily snatched them out of midair.

Kodachi was impressed by the turn of events. She had been certain that
Shampoo would have been finished. Her opponent was a stubborn one, she
gave her that.

Kodachi turned to one of her own corner women. "Boom ball!" She easily
caught the gunpowder-filled medicine ball, then turned and threw it
at Shampoo.

Instead of dodging, Shampoo batted it back, just like a baseball, with
her bonbori. The ball sailed back to its original pitcher, forcing
Kodachi to duck as the ball narrowly missed her and exploded just
outside of the ring.

Kodachi was relentless as she elected to try her clubs again,
utilizing 'the attack of a thousand clubs.' She hurled dozens of them
at Shampoo, who spun one of her bonbori so quickly that it acted as a
shield, deflecting the pins away before any of them could reach her.
Even as her makeshift shield protected her, Shampoo worked her way
closer to Kodachi until she was within striking distance. The Black
Rose stopped hurling her clubs, giving Shampoo the opening she needed.
She swung at the gymnast, only to stare in surprise as Kodachi leaped
over the bonbori swung at her and used the other one, which had been
upraised to strike a second blow, as a springboard into the air. While
she was airborne and aiming for the top of one of the corner posts,
she called for another razor hoop. The moment she touched it, she
redirected its direction towards Shampoo. The Amazon didn't have time
to react as the hoop severed one of the bonbori at the handle. In
order to make up for the loss, Shampoo pulled out her ribbon, keeping
the other bonbori in hand.

In the time it took Shampoo to draw the ribbon, Kodachi already had
hers in hand and attacked. She was on target once again as the ribbon
wrapped up Shampoo's arms. Kodachi watched in amusement as Shampoo
dropped her remaining bonbori to the ground.

"This match is over!" Kodachi tried whipping Shampoo around, like last
time, but the Amazon braced herself, her superior strength holding out
and allowing her to remain upright.

Kodachi was off-balance for a moment, which was all the opportunity
Shampoo needed. She lashed out with her foot, kicking the bonbori like
a soccer ball. Her aim was true as the unexpected attack took the
Black Rose on the head, stunning her for a second. A flick of the
wrist and Shampoo's ribbon wrapped itself around Kodachi's ankles.
From there all it took was a single swing and the stunned gymnast went
flying out to the floor.

"AND THE WINNER OF THE MATCH IS, SHAMPOO SAOTOME!!!"

Kodachi shook her head, the terrible words still ringing in her ears.
After taking a moment to recover, she gracefully took to her feet and
approached Shampoo, who had gone over to receive congratulations from
her corner people.

There was a moment of tension until Kodachi spoke to Shampoo. "I will
honor our pact. Mousse will be yours forever." She turned to Mousse.
"Farewell, my love."

"THIS SHALL NOT BE!"

Everyone looked to the ceiling as the voice rang out over the PA
system. Suddenly, the lights went out in the gym. After a moment of
darkness three spotlights came on. One was centered upon Kodachi,
another on Mousse, and the third on Ranma.

Tragic love music began playing over the PA system as Ranma brought a
microphone to his lips.

"How can this be?" he asked. "How can we allow this beautiful, single
black rose among a field of red to be unclaimed? She has fought long
and hard for her love, and to have him taken away by fate is too much
to bear."

Women in the stands began to cry as they felt their hearts touched by
the tragedy.

Ranma continued. "But this fate can be avoided." He pointed to Mousse,
who suddenly found himself the focus of everyone's attention. "Only a
heartless and cruel man could be capable of casting off this vision of
loveliness. You are not cruel and heartless, are you, Mousse?"

Shampoo moved next to Mousse and whispered in his ear. "You not
heartless, right, Mousse?"

"No! No! I'm not heartless!" He found himself at a loss of what to do
as Ranma approached him, Kodachi's hand in his as he led her to the
Chinese boy.

"We knew this," Ranma gestured boldly. "You are a man of great honor
and know what to do when a situation like this arises."

Clearly having no idea what to say, Mousse simply blurted out, "Of
course I do."

Shampoo moved up behind him. "Then go to rose girl." She pushed Mousse
from behind, sending him right into Kodachi. He took a step back after
nearly bowling her over.

There were tears in Kodachi's eyes as she stared at Mousse. "Oh,
Mousse my love."

A ribbon snaked out from Shampoo, tying the two together. That gave
Kodachi the opportunity to place her head on Mousse's chest.
"Mousse-sama, you hold me so close."

"That's only because we're tied up!"

Ranma came to the center of everyone's attention again. "And now that
they have declared their love for one another. It is time for these
two lovebirds to be alone for a while. Perhaps a trip far, far, away."

"Hold!"

All eyes turned to the speaker, Kunou.

"I have not had my say in this family matter. Do you think that I
would allow my sister to travel abroad with a man such as this?"

"There's some pictures of Shampoo and Akane in it for you," Ranma
whispered into Kunou's ear.

"Sold! I mean..." He walked over to Kodachi and Mousse, placing a
reassuring arm around the tied up pair. "Sister, I see this man has
stolen your heart and given you a happiness which glows in your eyes.
Who am I to come between two whose fates are linked together?" He
turned to the crowd. "I give my blessings to this relationship!"

A rousing cheer rose from the audience.

"Thank you, brother." Kodachi said softly.

Mousse began to panic, wondering how the situation had spiraled out of
control so quickly. Wasn't he supposed to be with Shampoo forever now?
"But I don't have any money for a trip!" he protested.

Ranma gave a sinister smile. "Leave that to us."

Ranma, Genma, and Shampoo grabbed a huge shipping crate and threw it
over the two 'lovebirds. Various destinations, such as New York,
Hawaii, Siberia, and Timbuktu, were written on the side. Once it was
securely over the pair, they proceeded to nail it shut at blinding
speed. All three of them picked up the crate and tossed it onto the
back of a waiting pickup truck. After giving the driver a considerable
sum of money, he drove off to the airport at top speed.

Genma was practically in tears. "It's true."

"It finally happen," Shampoo said with stars in her eyes.

Ranma stood there, trembling. "We've finally lost that moron, and we
got rid of that psycho gymnast to boot."

Akane looked on as the three linked arms and started dancing in a
circle to the tune of 'Ding Dong the Witch is Dead.'

Epilogue

"Excuse me, ma'am. This is Nerima." The cab driver offered to get out
of the car and open the passenger door for her, but she waved him off.

"I'm not so old I can't still open a door or two. That should be a
couple more...well, it should take a while longer anyway." She paid
the driver, then opened the door and got out of the car.

"Are you sure you'll be able to find a place to stay?" the cab driver
asked. "I can take you to a couple of nice places with good rates."

"No need," the older woman assured him. "Though it's nice to see you
showing proper respect to your elders."

"You remind me off my own grandmother. I hope you find your
granddaughter. You take care, ma'am."

"I will," she said as he drove off. Once he was out of sight, she
turned and began to walk the streets of Nerima. The trail had been
hard to find, but eventually she had tracked down the man who had sold
the ship tickets to a purple-haired girl and her two traveling
companions. From there she had followed the trail to Nerima, which she
seemed to instinctively believe was their actual destination. Deep in
her gut, she suspected she would find Shampoo staying somewhere in the
district. And if there wasn't a good reason for it, there would surely
be hell to pay.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Special Thanks to

Ryan Anderson
Bloodblade
Jurai-Knight
Gary Kleppe
Jason Liao
Misahara
Slashley
Wade Tritschler