(Fanfic)[Ranma][Urban Legends]Urban Legends 3: Friday The 13th (Day Five: The Day Everything Goes To Hell[Friday The 13th])
the_angel...@my-dejanews.com
Urban Legends 3:
Friday The 13th
An Urban Legends Slasher Fic By Stephen Schlueter
WARNING: As you are no doubt aware, unless you completely ignore these
warnings, there is a high level of violent content, profanity and other
Slasher oriented things in this series. You have been warned.
NOTE: Sukira Kurenai is a character I created when I was writng a follow up
series to Lisa Prior's "Sins Of The Father". His presence here is just to add
a little extra to the story.
Ranma 1/2 is property of R. Takahashi and those who publish it.
Aeris Gainsborough is a trademark of SqareSoft Inc.
Sukira Kurenai is property of The Rebels In Black and was created by me.
Day Five: The Day Everything Goes To Hell
Friday The 13th
"Do you think they'll figure it out?" asked Aeris. "I'm not sure." I said
"Doc Tofu is tracking their attacks. But I dunno. Seems unlikely that they'll
be able to stop them without a miracle." "True." said Aeris "You think it's
gonna be the end of this burg?" "Pretty sure." I said "Unless their are
orders to intervene." "Too bad." said Aeris "I'm gonna miss this place. And
I hate being reassigned." "Me too." "C'mon. Let's go get some coffee. Might
be our last chance." I shrugged and went along.
**********
Camp Crystal Lake was an American owned nature reserve in the district to
the southeast of Tokyo. It was established by an American movie corporation
in the early 1980's. It was a crowded little tourist village for Americans
who wanted to see in Japan exactly what they wanted to see in Japan. Sort of
the equivelant of Disney World. All nicely packaged fantasy that didn't show
what Japan was really like but what Americans would expect it to be like. All
the employees were Asians though. Asians from places like New York and
Chicago. Kasumi was behind the main building tampering withe the natural gas
lines. Ranma-Chan, on the other hand was stuck bitching and complaining about
the situation. "We can't just blow up the gas lines, y'know." said
Ranma-Chan, arms folded across he chest. "We might not be easy to kill but we
ain't invincible either." "I'm not planning on just blasting the lines."
complained Kasumi "But we want the added attention it'll bring." "It's too
easy to do it this way." said Ranma-Chan twirling the amulet between her
fingers. "Do you have to make every kill personal?" "Of course I do."
replied Ranma-Chan smiling "It's my job."
**********
Dr. Tofu had a large map of Tokyo and the surrounding urban districts
pinned up on the office wall. There were four red pins on the map, each at a
location "Jenova" had hit. "The only pattern is that each of the targets was
in a district just outside Tokyo." said Dr. Tofu. "They said they were going
to finish today." said Akane. "There are at least a half dozen districts
they could hit Akane." said Tofu "How are we supposed to know which one is
next?" Akane stared at the map for a long time before something hit her. She
picked up a black marker off of Tofu's desk and drew a straight line between
the first and secod targets on the map. Then from the second to the third,
third to the fourth. She drew two more lines one to an unmarked area of the
map and another back to the first target point. Akane had drawn a large
five-pointed star on the map. It looked just like the one on Ranma's pendant.
"That's our pattern." said Akane quietly. The unmarked area was labeled:
Camp Crystal Lake.
**********
The entire kitchen staff of Camp Crystal Lake was dead and in pieces by one
o' clock. They suffered the misfortune of being in the one place that had a
lot of knives when Ranma went looking for her bloodlust fix. With blood and
guts and random body parts spattered about the clean walls and floors the
kitchen looked more like a slaughterhouse. 'What next?' thought Ranma
eagerly as she wiped the blade of a long cutting knife clean on her cloak
'Chainsaw a few tourists? Give a few employees the ax? Nah. Kasumi was right.
Our killing sprees are kind of weird.' Kasumi had once described the killing
as sort of an alomost sexual sort of thing like how Anne Rice tends to
portray vampires killing or something like that. Kasumi had become more
entrenched in the relvolution recently. Ranma-Chan had a hard time picturing
a sexual aspect to the carnage she had just created. She imagined herself and
some guy (no one she actually knew) making love and then suddely she yanks
out a knife and whack! Gutted like a fish. Killed in mid-fuck. That last
orgasm was somethin' to die for. She snickered to herself contemplating how
many ways people had sex and then how many ways she could suddenly turn the
other person into a bloody disgusting pulp. Her thoughts were now both
perverted and insane with violence. She started to think about how many guys
there might be around to this new killing procedure on. May as well give a
few guys one last ride before they go, right? Why not? It would give her an
oppertunity to find out what it would be like to be naked and drenched in
blood. What fun! Ranma-Chan smiled to herself as her sick mind went wild.
**********
Kasumi had not been a real genius at any time in her life before now. She
had never rigged any kind of fancy gadget like she was doing now. Of course
she had also never killed a man in a gorey fashion or any fashion or
masturbated at the thought of killing a man or masturbating period. The
Jenova presence had really liberated Kasumi who was now wiring a clumsy
little remote device she had built to the main natural gas outlet. Yes,
things had definitely changed.
**********
Dr. Tofu, who previously would have practically trippedover his own feet
while drooling at the very mention of Kasumi's name, was now planning her
downfall. For the sake of God only knows how many people he had to put his
feelings aside. Akane wasn't sure he could pull it off. SWAT teams had
already started assembling to head in to the area. Police had blocked off all
the exits. It was starting to get dark early today. Akane looked at her
watch. It was one o'clock. 'Why one?' Akane thought. Then it hit her. One o'
clock was the thirteenth hour.
**********
"Where have you been?" asked Kasumi.
"Just taking a walk."
"Yeah, right. You have blood on your shoes."
"I know."
"And on you cloak."
"I know."
"And those knives you're carrying."
"I know."
"You almost missed the start of the party."
"I'm glad I didn't."
**********
Helicopters were searching the grounds with searchlights trying desperately
to find their targets. Two men with M-16 assault rifles were poised in the
doorway, ready to shoot anything that moved.
*********
Kasumi presssed a button on the gadget that she had attached to the gas
outlet. A red digital readout suddely came to life and started counting.
01:59...
01:58...
01:57...
01:56...
01:55...
"What good is that readout anyway?" asked Ranma-Chan "Who's gonna see it
anyway?"
"The people we're about to barbeque, of course." replied Kasumi. She
looked up at the circling helicopters. "That one will be in the right place, I
think." she said pointing out a helicopter.
**********
The helicopter was flying low enough to be hitting the tops of the trees as
it patroled Camp Crystal Lake. (One, Two) Just then the two armed SWAT men
in the doorway heard something scratching on the bottom of the helicopter. It
was a-- *scratch, scratch, scratch* --sound they couldn't identify. It
wasn't the trees. It was more like-- (Jenova's coming for you.) --claws.
The first man leaned out a little to try and find the source of the sound. He
was suddenly yanked bodily from the helicopter and no more that two second
later was tumbling to the ground below with trails of blood spilling out of
several quick but deep cuts in his chest. Before the second man could even
look he was yanked of his feet by gunfire from the first man's M-16. He hit
the other side of the copter and the slumped over, a bloody broken mess. The
gun that had shot him was no in the slightly bloody claws of Ranma-Chan.
**********
00:19...
00:18...
00:17...
00:16...
**********
The helicopter jostled a bit as Ranma shot the pilot and Kasumi quickly
took his place. The helicopter suddenly changed course and headed in the
general direction of Tokyo. Dr. Tofu, who was in one of the three other
helicopters, saw this and wondered what was going on. He picked up the radio.
"Team One, this is SWAT Leader. Why have you changed course?" "Because we
don't want to be here when the rest of you get your asses blown away, that's
why." It was Ranma's voice. Akane was shocked but wasn't for long. Doc Tofu
on the other hand couldn't open his mouth for several seconds. Just then a
huge explosion ripped through the compound burning up everting in it's path
and destroying a helicopter that was directly over the blast. Akane could
here Ranma-Chan's somewhat maniacal laughter over the radio. "What are you
doing?!" shouted Akane as she grabbed the radio from the stunned doctor.
"We're just raising a little hell, Akane." said Ranma "Literally."
**********
Ranma and Kasumi had at least a two minute head start on everybody else.
The remaining two helicopters had to spend at least one heart-stopping minute
dodging flames in order to get away from the compound.
"Sir," came a voice over the radio which, thank God, was not that of
Ranma-Chan "We've got reports of some serious infernos breaking out in five
other districts and they're spreading fast.
No one needed to ask which districts the fires were in.
**********
Kasumi landed the helicopter on the roof of a large corporate building in
the center of downtown Tokyo. Ranma was unloading the SWAT teams weaponry
when she heard someone shouting: "Hold it right there!" Ranma-Chan and
Kasumi turned to see five girls dressed like some bizzare cheerleading squad.
The middle girl, a blonde with one of the most bizzare hairstyles in history
was the one doing the yelling. They both looked at these girls dressed in
short skirted sailor uniforms and gold tiaras with a certain dull sense of
boredom. Ranma felt tempted to grumble "Now what?" "I am Sailor Moon!"
shouted the middle girl while executing various poses "I stand for love and
justice! On behalf of the moon I'll.." "Yeah, yeah. We get the idea."
mumbled Kasumi. "Are you about finished?" asked Ranma-Chan. "Um... yeah."
said Sailor Moon. "Good." replied Ranma. In one movement she raised the M-16
and blasted Sailor Moon over the edge of the building. The other Sailors
peered over the edge as their leader plummeted over a hundred stories to her
death. As they turned back and assumed their previous attack positions both
Kasumi and Ranma raided their M-16s and opened fire.
********
When Dr. Tofu's helicopter arrived at the building Kasumi was standing on
the edge of the building waving her arms like an orchestra conductor as the
flames danced their way towards her from the far off horizon. There were also
four dead girls in short skirts and sailor suits on the roof lying in pools
of their own blood. He did not, however, notice Ranma-Chan who did notice
him and was aiming at the good doctor with a re-loaded assault rifle. "What
are you doing?" shouted Kasumi. "I'm gonna blast that guy outta the sky
before they start shooting at us, is that okay with you?" "But..." "Don't
wimp out on me now, Kasumi, he's gonna die when the revolution begins anyway.
I'm just gonna put him outta our misery." Meanwhile, Dr. Tofu had noticed
the presence of Ranma and her really big gun and quickly grabbed one of his
own. "Forgive me, Kasumi..." he said quietly. When Ranma saw the docor with
a gun she lost it. "That son of a bitch!" she growled. "Wait!" shouted
Kasumi. It was too late. Ranma pulled the trigger and Tofu was history.
Nothing more than a grease spot in the helicopter. Akane almost instantly
freaked out. She grabbed the assault rifle and hurled it at Ranma "Ranma! You
Bastard!!" The rifle smacked Ranma square in the forehead. She started to
stumble drunkenly about. "Ranma!" shouted Kasumi as ranma-Chan slumped over
into her arms. "No! NO! NO!! Don't pass out on me now!! If you do the
revolution is history! We can't finish if we're not both conscious!" It was
too late. Ranma had lost consciousness. In the distance the flames started
to die off.
Epilogue:
Saturday The 14th
"I can't believe it." muttered Aeris as we walked down the street "They
beat 'em on their own." "It was a fluke, an accident, pure luck." I said
"But I can't say I'm not glad." *SPLASH!* Someone had emptied a bucket of
water from a couple of stories up. "Hey! Watch it, ya morons!" I screeched
in the direction of whoever had dumped the water. My voice was several
octaves higher than normal and my clothes seemed about four sizes to big. I
hate it when I turn into a girl. "Incidentally, I got word that the Angel Of
Death has recovered from his breakdown." said Aeris "Belldandy is giving us a
couple of weeks off. That means we can make poker night in Nibelheim this
week." "I hate playin' poker with your friends, Aeris." I grumbled brushing
wet brown hair out of my face "Yuffie always cheats." "And you don't?"
"No." I was probably lying,like I'd tell you if I was.
The End...? (Probably Not)
Author's Notes: In case you were wondering, yes, there will be another Urban
Legends fanfic. I can't help but note, however, that I am not a great fanfic
writer (as The Eternal Lost Lurker never get tired of telling me). At least,
not compared to writers like Zen who can write five billion page fanfics that
never grow boring. If he is Hemingway than I am just Stephen King. Also I
noticed that some author's like CBear put little catch phrases at the end of
their fanfics. Stuff like: Smile and have a nice day. That would not work on
one of my fanfics. The closest I could get is: Slash and hack and hope you
survive to the end of the day. Friday The 13th is not at all like the movie I
named it after except for the references to "Camp Crystal Lake" the old
slashing grounds of Jason Voorhees, star of a billion lame sequels. This
fanfic is more serious than the last two. The last two were more satire, this
one was more killing. I have to admit I came dangerously close to writing
some really sick lemon material in Day Five but I managed to restrain myself.
Maybe I'll use it in a future Urban Legends fic. I hope somebody enjoyed this
fic especially after Urban Legends H20 which I'm pretty sure was not my
finest piece of writing. Speaking of H20 the last paragraph was a punchline
that only fansof Final Fantasy 7 would have understood. I should have
mentioned that earlier. Sorry.
Next:
Urban Legends IV: Psycho
--Stephen Schlueter
January 7, 1999
"Look, Jiji, There's the ocean!"
"Big deal. It's just a big puddle of water."
-Kiki's Delivery Service
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