Captain N: The Game Master - Episode Review - 15 - I Wish I was a Wombatman

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Mark Moore

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Apr 25, 2004, 10:56:08 PM4/25/04
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Episode Review


I Wish I was a Wombatman


Sunday, February 15, 2004, 7:00 PM - Sunday, April 25, 2004, 10:47 PM


Summary (7:00 PM - 9:41 PM; Tuesday, February 18, 2004, 5:50 PM - 6:29
PM; Friday, March 12, 2004, 8:05 PM - 9:00 PM; Saturday, March 13,
2004, 8:50 PM - 10:44 PM)

Live from Marblopolis Studio World, Wombatman is doing an episode of
his TV series. At the Palace of Power, Kid Icarus imitates his stunts
and ends up getting hung upside-down from a rope, which is attached to
one of Kid's arrows, which is stuck in the ceiling. He falls down just
as Simon walks into the room, carrying a plate and a glass of milk.
Kid lands on Simon, causing him to spill the food and milk. The rest
of the N Team arrives in the room. Lana asks Kid what he's been doing.
Duke licks the food from Kid's face. Kid says that he was practicing
the Wombat Roll but can't get it right. Simon insults Wombatman. On
TV, the robot that Wombatman is fighting goes out of control. The N
Team goes to Studio World to help.

The N Team arrives on Studio World. Kevin lands the ship on a roof.
They go down the stairs. The robot attacks the building, causing part
of the roof to collapse on Simon. The N Team exits the building.
"Wombatman" is destroyed by the robot. Kid picks up the right hand and
tells "Wombatman" to speak to him. Lana tells him that it's only a
robot. Kid is disappointed to learn that "Wombatman doesn't do his own
heroic stunts". The giant robot is holding two squid people. Kevin
tells Gameboy to locate the robot's control box. Gameboy sings while
doing so. Kid uses a buzzsaw arrow to cut a hole in the robot. Kevin
fires through the hole, causing the robot to explode. Mega Man catches
the large vehicle containing the squid people. One of the squid people
is the director. He asks the N Team if they want to be in pictures.
Kid declines, but Simon accepts. The female squid hugs Simon, making
him uncomfortable.

The N Team is taken to Wombatman's house, where he autographs a
picture of himself and a woman for Kid. Wombatman tells Kid that he
hasn't done his own stunts in years. Wombatman's dog butler, Elmer,
brings one of many Wombatman costumes to Wombatman. Wombatman undos
his robe and drops it to the floor. He puts on his costume and uses
some breath spray. Wombatman says that he's busy, offers the N Team a
tour of the studio as his "special guests", and leaves the room with
Elmer through a lift in the floor, which goes down. Kevin tries to
comfort Kid. Kid wants to take the tour. He wonders if Wombatman is
just having a bad day.

It turns out that Mother Brain had captured Nicki, Wombatman's
girlfriend (the woman in the picture), and said that she'd let her go,
if Wombatman helped MB get the N Team here. MB was behind the giant
robot. MB shocks Wombatman.

The N Team gets on a tram for the studio tour. The Eggplant Wizard
moves a lever. Kevin zaps two hopping baddies and says "Well, I think
this tour is hot." A Dragonlord robot appears and breathes flames at
the N Team. The N Team gets out of the tram, and the tram goes off of
a cliff on fire. King Hippo moves a lever and send a Donkey Kong robot
to the N Team. It knocks down some barrels at the N Team. Kevin zaps
some of them, then the N Team turns and leaves. They exit the tour.

Mother Brain complains at Hippo and Eggy for failing then throws them
against a wall. Wombatman gives them advice for surviving a fall. MB
picks him up and complains. MB wants Wombatman to help her "get rid of
the N Team once and for all" on his show. Wombatman protests. MB tells
him to do it for Nicki. She opens the floor of Nicki's cage. Nicki
dangles over a lava warp and yells. MB laughs. Wombatman begs MB to
not hurt Nicki and agrees to "do anything". MB closes the floor.

Wombatman is sitting by his swimming pool, relaxing and drinking. He
gives Kid Icarus advice about doing the Wombat Roll. Kid falls in the
pool. Kid wants Wombatman to show him how to do the Wombat Roll.
Wombatman gets mad, slams his drink on the table, and says that he
doesn't do that stuff anymore. Kid asks if he's chicken. Wombatman
gets more mad, pounds the table with his fist, knocks the glass off of
the table, jumps on his chair, and says that he's "afraid of nothing
and nobody". Then he jumps off of his chair, kicks his umbrella table
over, and walks away. Kid wonders what he said.

MB sees all of this on the viewscreen and asks how her "new little
toy" is coming. Eggy says that it's all done. Hippo pulls the cover
off of a giant black marble - "the N Team Destructo Black Marble". MB
pulls a lever to activate the marble. A magnet comes out of the top of
the marble and pulls King Hippo, by his crown, up to it. Eggy makes
fun of Hippo. A vacuum comes out of the top of the marble nad sucks
Eggy into it. Vegetables pop out of him. Nicki tells MB that her
"Womby" won't let her get away with this. MB asks how he's gonna stop
her. Wombatman falls towards MB and kicks her glass jar, knocking her
over. MB yells for Hippo and Eggy to stop him. Hippo runs at him.
Wombatman performes his "Wombat Roll", kicking Hippo in the stomach.
Hippo falls and hits his head on the marble.Eggy fires tomatoes at
Wombatman with his veggie wand. Wombatman spins around, deflecting
them back at Eggy, who falls over. It turns out that this Wombatman is
just another robot. MB notices the real Wombatman, in a dark area,
controlling the robot with a joystick. She picks up Wombatman and the
robot with her tentacles and holds them upside-down. She asks the real
Wombatman to "please stand up". Wombatman points at the robot. MB
shocks the robot, destroying it. She throws Wombatman to the floor.
Wombatman apologizes to Nicki. Nicki says that's okay.

Outside, the N Team is about to film the shot of them coming to help
Wombatman defeat "evil alien invaders". The director asks where the
crewmen are with his spaceship. Hippo and Eggy arrive, wearing yellow
shirts and red caps, with the marble. Wombatman and Kid Icarus won't
be needed to save the day until the last scene. The director says this
will be his best show ever. Mother Brain, watching on the viewscreen,
says this will be her best show ever. She pushes a lever. The director
calls action. Simon curls his whip around a hovering stoplight and
swings towards the "spaceship". An oil gun comes out of the marble and
sprays the stoplight with oil, causing Simon's whip to lose its grip
and Simon to fall. Mega Man runs over and catches him. The magnet
comes out of the marble and pulls Mega Man and Simon up to it. The
director believes that this is "ad-libbing" and tells them to
continue. Lana jumps and grabs a bar. The vacuum starts sucking Lana.
Lana yells to Kevin for help. Taking their "cue", Kevin, Duke, and
Gameboy come out of a manhole. The bar breaks, and Lana gets sucked
into the vacuum. Kevin and Duke run over to the vacuum, Gameboy flying
after them.

Kid Icarus is watching this on Wombatman's TV. The TV screen is in a
wombat shape - with ears at the top. Kid says that it sounds like Lana
is in trouble. Wombatman, sitting and reading a magazine, says that
it's acting. Kevin yelling that it's for real convinces Kid that his
teammates are in trouble.

The oil gun squirts oil. Kevin and Duke get stuck in the oil. Kevin
yells for Gameboy to give them a hand, but Gameboy's hands, which come
out of his screen, can't reach them. Kevin tells him that this is no
time for jokes. Kevin draws his Zapper and twirls it. A cord comes out
of the marble, enters Kevin's Zapper, and drains its power. Another
cord comes out of the marble, enters a hole in Gameboy's back, and
drains his power. Gameboy's screen goes black, and he falls down.
Kevin tries pressing the trigger on his Zapper and realizes that his
power's been drained, too. The cord pulls Kevin's Zapper away. A claw
comes out of the marble and heads for Kevin.

Kid Icarus begs Wombatman to help him save his friends. Wombatman
dismisses it. Kid asks what kind of a hero he is. Wombatman says that
he isn't a hero; he's an actor. He throws his magazine on the floor.

Kevin, Duke, and Gameboy get pulled into the marble.

Kid asks Wombatman about his creed. Wombatman walks over to his
wombat-shaped mirror and presses a button. He sees the marble rolling.
He shuts off the TV. He tells Kid that Mother Brain's "gonna nix
Nicki" is he doesn't deliver the N Team. Kid is shocked to learn that
Wombatman helped MB. Wombatman puts himself down, but Kid insists that
he's Wombatman. Inspired, Wombatman presses the other button. The
swimming pool floor parts, and the Wombatmobile rises up.

The episode's featured song starts. It's the "Wombatman" theme song,
based on the 1960s "Batman" theme song. Wombatman and Kid Icarus take
off in the Wombatmobile. MB sends vultures at them. A fake hand comes
out of Wombatman's belt and holds the steering wheel. Wombatman throws
a wombatarang and defeats the vultures. The marble squirts a red
liquid at the Wombatmobile. Wombatman presses the two buttons on his
steering wheel at the same time. A fan comes out of the mouth of the
Wombatmobile and deflects the red liquid. The marble then squirts the
red liquid onto the bridge. It's acid, and it eats away at the bridge,
leaving a gap. Wombatman hits the brake, and the Wombatmobile comes to
a halt right before the gap. Wombatman gets out of the Wombatmobile,
walks over to the gap, and looks at it. The marble enters a tunnel. A
door starts closing. Kid gets out of the Wombatmobile and shoots an
arrow to keep the door from closing. The song ends.

Kid tells Wombatman to use his Wombat Roll. Wombatman says that he
hasn't done that stunt in years. His knees shake. He grabs a rope from
his belt, twirls it, and throws it. The hook hooks onto a rail.
Wombatman swings. Kid is holding onto his right leg. The door breaks
the arrow. Wombatman calls for the Wombat Roll. Both he and Kid
perform it successfully and enter the tunnel right before the door
closes.

They're in Mother Brain's room. Hippo and Eggy raise their hands.
Wombatman presses a button on his belt and launches a mini wombat
grenade at the control panel. Hippo and Eggy hug each other. The
control panel is destroyed. Nicki's cage is lowered, and the beam bars
turn off. A door at the bottom of the marble opens, and the rest of
the N Team exits it. Lana compliments Kid Icarus. Nicki is kneeling
and hugging "Womby". MB makes angry gestures with her tentacles and
yells at Wombatman. Hippo and Eggy are standing on her tank and making
angry gestures as well. Mega Man picks up MB's tank (with Hippo and
Eggy being held by MB's tentacles). Wombatman walks over to a door and
holds his finger near a button by the door. Megaman throws MB's tank.
Wombatman presses the button. The door opens. MB, Hippo, and Eggy
slide down a bridge loop. Wombatman and Kid Icarus do a high five. The
director arrives in his hovercraft, giving praises and saying that
they got it all on film. He wants Kid Icarus to stay and be
Wombatman's sidekick. Kid Icarus and Wombatman look at each other. Kid
considers it. Wombatman encourages it. Kid declines, saying that he
likes being a real hero better. Simon approves of Kid's choice, takes
his mirror out of his backpack, and straightens his hair. Nicki
kneels, hugs Wombatman, and compliments him. The squid woman enters to
give make-up. Simon yells, tosses his mirror, and runs away, yelling,
"Last one to the Warp Wagon drives home!" The squid woman chases him
out the door. The rest of the N Team, Wombatman, and Nicki stare for a
moment. Kevin smiles and says "Well, I guess that's a wrap."


Misc. Tidbits (Saturday, March 13, 2004, 10:45 PM - 10:49 PM)

The episode was written by Sean Roche & David Ehrman.

The original air date and order of this episode is unknown as of the
time of this writing. If I find it out later, I'll mention it in a
future review - assuming that I'm not done with the reviews by then.

I first saw this episode on NBC, then possibly The Family Channel,
then possibly on "Captain N & The Video Game Masters".


Interesting Notes (10:49 PM - 10:51 PM)

The title is white with no quotes.

Kevin's Zapper beams are blue in this episode.

Kevin's weapons don't lose power in this episode - until the power
drain.

The N Team's ship is called the Warp Wagon.

Metroid isn't in this episode.


Great Lines (Monday, March 15, 2004, 8:38 PM - 10:32 PM)

Director: "Oh, that was the most heroic stuff I ever seen. You wanna
be in pictures?"
Kid Icarus: "Goshicus, no. Uh, I just wanna meet the real Wombatman."
Simon: "Speak for youself, shrimpo! Shall we talk contracts?"

(after the squid woman grips Simon)
Kevin: "Looks like your first fan's got a crush on you, Simon."
Simon: "Very funny, Captain N."

Kid Icarus: "But, uh, I've always tried to be a hero - just like
youicus."
Wombatman: "Tell you what, kid. Put some lifts in your boots, take a
speech class to get rid of that 'icus' problem, and I'll put in a good
word for you with the studio."

Kevin: "Hey, cheer up. He's just a TV hero. You're a real one."

Kevin: "Aw, poor kid. It's tough when your hero lets you down."

Mother Brain: "That's whatcha get for believin' me."

Nicki: "Womby, my precious, does it hurt?"
Wombatman: "There's a name for my pain, and it's Mother Brain."

Mother Brain: "They're about to get the ride of their lives,...or
should I say...the ride of their deaths?"

Eggplant Wizard: "Hey, King Hippo, how do you like your N Team? Well
done or extra crispy?"

Wombatman: "Ya know, you really wanna break a hard fall like that, you
wanna kinda tuck your head in, you wanna kinda roll your shoulders,
you wanna - ah!"
Mother Brain: "You wanna kinda shut up?"

(after King Hippo gets pulled up by a magnet)
Eggplant Wizard: "I always knew you had a magnetic personality, King
Hippo!"

(after he kicks King Hippo)
Wombatman: "What's the matter, King Hippo? Catch a
little...boot-in-mouth disease?"

Eggplant Wizard: "Here's tomatoes in your eye!"
Wombatman: "I had more tomatoes than that thrown at me when I first
started acting."

Wombatman: "I'm sorry, Nicki. I tried."
Nicki: "That's okay, Womby. You'll always be my number one guy."
Mother Brain: "Who cares? After I finish off the N Team, I'll be
number one Queen of Videoland."

Director: "Oh, this will be my best show ever."
Mother Brain: "Wrong, one-eye; this will be my best show ever."

Mega Man: "What the mega magnet's going on?!"
Director: "I didn't call for ad-libbing! But I like it; continue."

Lana: "Kevin, help! I'm being inhaled!"

Kid Icarus: "It sounded like Her Highness is in maximus trouble-icus."
Wombatman: "Relax, kid. It's called acting."

Kid Icarus: "Wombatman, you've gotta help me save my friends."
Wombatman: "That's showbiz, kid. One minute, you're on top; the next,
you're canceled. Get out while ya can."

Wombatman: "You really believe in me that much?"
Kid Icarus: "Now, it's up to you to believe in yourself."

Nicki: "Oh, Womby, I always knew you were destined for greatness."
Wombatman: "Hold that thought until I get back."

Mother Brain: "Put me down, you muscle-bound midget!"
Wombatman: "Anything to please a lady."

Director: "Kid Icarus, you must stay and be Wombatman's sidekick."
Kid Icarus: "Me? Wombatman's sidekickirus?"
Wombatman: "We'd make a great team, kid, and you'd love being a TV
hero."
Kid Icarus: "Thanks, but, no, thanks, Wombatman. I like being a real
hero better."
Simon: "Good choice, Icarus. Us real heroes gotta stick together."
Nicki: "And I'm sticking with mine. He's not just a hero; he's a
real...nice guy."

Simon: "Last one to the Warp Wagon drives home!"


Dumb Lines (Monday, March 15, 2004, 8:05 PM - 10:32 PM)

Wombatman and Kid Icarus: "Wombatman's heroic hands save the day
wherever he lands!"
This is Wombatman's creed. It's spoken three times throughout the
episode (four if you count Wombatman and Kid Icarus saying it
simultaneously in the first scene). It just sounds really corny.

Wombatman: "You'll never escape Wombatman, you robo-dodo."
Another corny line.

Announcer: "Uh, please stand by. Uh, we seem to be experiencing some
technical difficulty."
Lana: "Is that part of the show?"
Uh, of course, it is, Lana. Um, yeah...

Director: "I am thee director, und I command you to shtop!"
Does he really think that an out-of-control robot is going to listen
to him?

Kid Icarus: "We have to go help them!"
Kevin: "He's right! Let's hit it, N Team!"
Simon: "But I'm going to miss 'Weird World of Spirits'!"
Why is Simon on the team again?

Simon: "If this is 'The Wombatman Adventure Hour', how come we're the
ones having the adventure?"
Because you're on an emergency mission, maybe?

(lifting a severed hand after the Wombatman robot has exploded)
Kid Icarus: "Wombatman! Speak to me!"
Kid has just seen "Wombatman" explode and come apart, and he's
expecting him to be alive?!

Gameboy: (singing) "The diode's connected to the disk driiive! The
disk drive's connected to the baaack!"
Did Gameboy really have to sing that?

Simon: "It's amateurs like him that give us real heroes a bad name."
So says the traitor/goof-off/slacker.

Kid Icarus: "Maybe Wombatman is just having a bad day."
Right; that would explain the laziness and the bad shape that he's in.

Kevin: "Hmmm, first an out-of-control robot, then a fired-up dragon.
I'm beginning to smell a rat!"
Only beginning to, Kev?

(after a robot of Donkey Kong appears)
Simon: "Yeah, a big, hairy one."
Uh, Donkey Kong is a robot, Simon, not a rat.

Wombatman: "No! Not my show! It's - It's sacred to Wombatman fans all
over Videoland!"
Sadly, there are obsessed fans that do consider a television series to
be sacred.

Nicki: "Ooh, Womby, this is just like the episode where you rescued me
from the reptwoman."
What normal person would remember something like that when being held
prisoner?

Wombatman: "I'm a has-been, a tomorrow guy, a coulda-been, a zero."
A tomorrow guy? That kinda contradicts the rest of the statement.

Wombatman: "You've rolled your last marble, Mother Brain."
Please, stop with the corny hero lines!


Rant (Tuesday, March 16, 2004, 6:00 PM - 6:57 PM; Wednesday, April 14,
2004, 7:18 PM - 8:00 PM, 11:25 PM - 11:52 PM; Thursday, April 15,
2004, 10:00 PM - 10:02 PM; Thursday, April 22, 2004, 6:10 PM - 6:14
PM, 9:30 PM - 9:58 PM; 10:15 PM - 10:23 PM; 11:01 PM - 11:58 PM;
Friday, April 23, 2004, 8:30 PM - 8:51 PM; Sunday, April 25, 2004,
12:30 PM - 12:46 PM, 2:00 PM - 2:55 PM, 4:26 PM - 4:48 PM, 8:28 PM -
8:33 PM; 9:47 PM - 10:47 PM)

What the hell was this?

This episode is bad on so many levels. It's also, by no coincidence,
my least-watched episode of Captain N.

Let's start at the beginning.

Jeffrey Scott created Wombatman back in Season 1 as a gag character
for a few-second appearance in one scene in "The Most Dangerous Game
Master". Now, an entire episode has been written about that character.
Imagine if a Star Trek writer wrote an entire episode based on a
character that, in one scene in one episode in the previous season,
had said "Good morning, Captain". Such things shouldn't be done.

I do like how the original voice actors for Wombatman and Nicki (who
went unnamed in "Thge Most Dangerous Game Master"; is she named in the
script?) were brought back for this episode, though.

Marblopolis Studio World, the world in this episode, isn't even from
any video game. I'm guessing that it was created just to allow for an
episode to be made based on the "Batman" NES game - using a
thinly-disguised Batman rip-off. Even Kid Icarus is wearing a
Robin-like mask.

What the hell kind of name is Marblopolis, anyway?

Why is "The Wombatman Adventure Hour" performed live? It's a big
opportunity for stuff to go wrong. I've heard of sitcoms and soap
operas being performed live sometimes. An action/adventure series is
much more complicated, though. Maybe it's a one-time special thing; it
would be rather stupid if they did it every week.

I can understand Kid Icarus looking up to Wombatman, but he should
know enough to not kick over a piece of furniture and damage the
ceiling with an arrow. Lana would get so mad. Why is Kid Icarus on the
N Team again?

I guess the Palace is not made of metal, like I had thought.

Remember how Simon had called "Wombatman" his "favorite" back in "The
Most Dangerous Game Master"? Why does he hate him now? Maybe the show
(it could have been a movie in Season 1 for all we know) started
sucking, and Simon gave up on it?

I'm beginning to reconsider my stance on Lana being the smartest
member of the team.

The TV picture fuzzed up during the robot attack, so why did it
suddenly clear up?

Simon considers a TV series to be more important than a rescue
mission. Y'know, I'm beginning to think that Lana hired this guy due
soley to word-of-mouth.

Apparently, Kid Icarus doesn't know the difference between a living
person and a robot. Lana has to point it out to him. Maybe she is the
smartest.

Why is Kid Icarus surprised that Wombatman doesn't do his own stunts.
Most actors don't. Only kids make that assumption. Considering this
situation and the fact that Kid Icarus looks up to Wombatman, it seems
that Kid Icarus actually is a kid - or maybe he's just developmentally
challenged (yes, I realize that that's redundant when speaking of
characters in this series).

How'd the squid woman get in the hoverchair with the director? She
wasn't there at the beginning of the attack.

Why, oh, why does Gameboy have to sing while running his search? It
catches even Kevin by surprise.

Being a stereotypical director, the director cares about casting
shortly after being rescued.

Why does Wombatman keep his mask on when he's off work?

It's unclear how much of the show is done by the real Wombatman and
how much is done by the robots. Since the robots can talk, are they
doing all of the work? If so, then how does Wombatman get paid? Is he
rich enough that he needs no income. If Wombatman does do his own
speaking parts, then wouldn't he have gotten caught up in that robot
attack? How'd he escape?

Here's a reason that I don't like this episode: humanoid animals. We
have a talking wombat, 2 talking squids, and a talking dog. This makes
the episode embarassing to watch.

I'm guessing that the point of Wombatman dropping his robe is to show
that he's out of shape, but I really can't tell.

I absolutely love Wombatman's advice to Kid Icarus! So cruel and yet
so needed!

Note the use of dramatic music when Kevin tries to cheer Kid Icarus
up.

I was rather surprised to hear Mother Brain say "the ride of their
deaths". Mother Brain acknowledges that the N Team can die! All right!
Take that, you "no death in Videoland" morons!

Why does the studio tour have controls that can make the Dragonlord
robot breathe fire on the tourists?

Why does Kevin say "Well, I think this tour is hot" after zapping 2
baddies? It wasn't in response to anything; it just came out of
nowhere. Was a line spoken by someone else cut? The copy that I have
was taped off of NBC. I don't know if it's the first airing, but, even
if it's not, I doubt that NBC would cut a line during reruns. Maybe a
line was scripted but not spoken - or scripted and spoken but not
animated? Is it possible that Kevin was meant to say this line by
itself? Who knows?

Wombatman defending his show as sacred is pathetic, much like how some
people believe that Captain N is sacred. You know who you are.

Kid Icarus called Wombatman a chicken, and now he wonders what he said
to make Wombatman so upset?!

The N Team Destructo Black Marble? That's quite possibly the stupidest
weapon that's been shown in this series so far. I kinda like it,
though.

How did Hippo and Eggy make it, though? I doubt they're smart enough.
Dr. Wily isn't in this episode. Maybe Eggy conjoured it into
existence?

Oh! Marblopolis! The giant marble! I get it! Ah, ha, ha, ha! *face
fault*

How can a magnet be so powerful that it pulls up someone as heavy as
King Hippo by his crown?

When the Wombatman robot finishes reciting the creed, its lips move
for a moment longer. Maybe it's not an animation error, considering
that it's a robot, though it probably is.

How did King Hippo get his crown separated from the powerful magnet?
For that matter, how did King Hippo pull the magnet to the floor?

How can Wombatman control a sophisticated talking robot with a
joystick?

When Nicki says "That's okay, Womby", her electrical bars disappear.
Oops.

I've always loved how Mother Brain asks "Who cares?!"

They're filming the episode now. I guess the live idea was either
temporary or scrapped.

Doesn't the director know what his spaceship model is supposed to look
like? He thinks that the marble is the spaceship model.

I guess Hippo and Eggy dressed up as crewmen to fool the director. How
could they fool the N Team, though? Oh, wait, they fooled Simon in
Season 1's "The Most Dangerous Game Master" by putting on clothes.
Maybe they were concealed by the marble, too.

Why is Mega Man smiling after he catches Simon? He should be concerned
that something's wrong.

Why didn't Mega Man let go of Simon when being pulled up? He certainly
had enough time.

The director is so concerned about getting good scenes on film that he
doesn't care if the cast members are in danger. I think this is
carrying the stereotype a little too far for credibility.

How can Lana's line of "Kevin, help! I'm being inhaled!" be Kevin cue,
if Lana is being sucked by the marble? Maybe she was scripted to say
that even without the marble present? It still seems improbable,
though.

Why does Kevin carry Duke? Why does he drop him while climbing out of
a hole?

Kevin exclaims "Holy cow!" Does that mean Kevin is Hindu?

Why does Gameboy take the time to joke during a battle? His
carelessness could become a seriously liability for the N Team.

It's odd that, earlier, when Kid Icarus insulted him, he claimed that
he's Wombatman, but, now, he claims that he's an actor. He should make
up his mind.

If Wombatman pressed that button to turn off the TV, why did it take
so long (6 seconds) for the TV to turn off?

How can Kid Icarus' arrow be strong enough to keep a door open?

The button that Wombatman presses is first shown to be yellow then
shown to be black. It turns yellow only when pressed. Oops.

We finally get the name of the N Team's ship: the Warp Wagon.

I like Kevin's pun at the end: "Well, I guess that's a wrap." I don't
know if it was meant to be a pun (squid; wrap; get it?) or simply a
typical movie line. It was probably meant to be a pun, considering
Kevin's earlier "crush" pun.

Lesson: Don't believe in TV heroes; they'll let you down. You can be
heroic, if you believe in yourself.

Well, that's it. The N Team members each now have an acting credit. I
bet they'll be big celebrities now. *stares at the ceiling*

Finally, the episode's over. I wasn't very motivated to review it.
It's bad, but it's not even in a "so bad, it's good" way. It's just
bad.

Now, you may notice that there are far fewer comments in my rant than
usual. You may also notice that I skip an unusually large amount of
running time between comments. With so much of the episode being basic
action, there simply wasn't a whole lot to comment on.

So, with less errors, wouldn't that mean that this episode is good?
Well, it would, if it wasn't such a blatant "Batman" rip-off. It's
based on a video game only in the sense that it's a rip-off of a 1960s
TV series that was based on a comic book that got turned into a movie
in 1989 that got turned into a video game. It was made only in a
pathetic attempt to sell the "Batman" NES game and/or cash in on the
Bat-craze going on at the time (if it hadn't died down by the time
that the episode aired, that is).

Also, if they were going to rip off "Batman", why the hell did they
rip off the old TV series? They should have ripped off the movie. It
would have made the episode better...maybe.

Now, let's look at the writing. It was better than Jeffrey Scott's
worst writing ("Happy Birthday, Megaman") but not as good as his best
writing ("The Most Dangerous Game Master"). I'd say that it's a bit
below average, around the level of "Simon the Ape-Man". The episode
was written by Sean Roche & David Ehrman. I question why it took 2
people to write an episode of Captain N - and why the final product
wasn't better for it.

The main problem that I have with this episode is personal. I don't
like Kid Icarus, and I feel that Wombatman (as an obvious Batman
rip-off) is an embarassment. Your opinion may be different.

As for what to cut out, the first thing that I'd get rid of is that
part where Kid Icarus thinks that a robot is the real Wombatman. That
was extremely stupid. Removing that part would have freed up 16
seconds. Gameboy singing was stupid, so it should have been removed,
freeing 8 seconds. Gameboy's "hands" joke was uncalled for. Removing
it would have freed an additional 6 seconds. Those 30 seconds could
have been better used to show off more of Lana's stuntwork.

Overall, "I Wish I was a Wombatman" was a below-average episode. Skip
it.

Usefulness ratings:

Kevin: 4 (destroying the robot, shooting 3 barrels)
Lana: 0
Simon: 0
Mega Man: 4 (catching the director and the squid woman, pulling Kid
Icarus away from fire, catching Simon, throwing Mother Brain out the
door)
Kid Icarus: 2 (making the hole in the robot for Kevin, keeping the
door open with his arrow)
Duke: 0
Gameboy: 1 (locating the robot's control box)

Wow, Kid Icarus sure got less points than I expected in this episode,
considering that it centers on him.

The running total usefulness ratings for this season so far are:

Kevin: 14 (2 episodes)
Lana: 2 (2 episodes)
Simon: 4 (2 episodes)
Mega Man: 7 (2 episodes)
Kid Icarus: 3 (2 episodes)
Duke: 3 (2 episodes)
Gameboy: 2 (2 episodes)

The running total usefulness ratings for the series so far are:

Kevin: 61 (15 episodes)
Lana: 11 (15 episodes)
Simon: 25 (15 episodes)
Mega Man: 24 (15 episodes)
Kid Icarus: 26 (15 episodes)
Duke: 17 (15 episodes)
Gameboy: 2 (2 episodes)

Note: I made some errors in my "Gameboy" review. I forgot to add in
the points that each team member gained in that episode to the running
total usefulness ratings for Kevin, Lana, Simon, Mega Man, Kid Icarus,
and Duke for the series. I also counted only 13 episodes, when it
should have been 14 episodes.


That's the end of my review of "I Wish I was a Wombatman". "Queen of
the Apes" originally aired third in Season 2, so I'll review that
next. See you all in my next review!

mhirtes

unread,
Apr 26, 2004, 5:02:39 AM4/26/04
to
*I* wish you'd finally stfu and stop posting bandwidth-hogging bad
fanfic about a SUPER SHITTY cartoon that (thankfully) ended a decade ago!

I mean, if it's so wonderful, how come it's not being shown ANYWHERE
right now? How come it's not on DVD?

Maybe it's because THE SHOW SUCKED ASS?

Metlhd3138

unread,
Apr 26, 2004, 8:48:12 AM4/26/04
to
>I mean, if it's so wonderful, how come it's not being shown ANYWHERE
>right now? How come it's not on DVD?

Just because something is on DVD. Remember, Prostars is on dvd, but new
adventures of mighty mouse and the real ghostbusters is not. And the only
reason Captain N needs to be on dvd is so the creator of tetris can get
royalties from the tetris episode.

Mark Moore

unread,
Apr 26, 2004, 10:04:35 PM4/26/04
to
mhirtes <m...@nospambots.com> wrote in message news:<mh-927D52.04...@news.central.cox.net>...

> *I* wish you'd finally stfu and stop posting bandwidth-hogging bad
> fanfic about a SUPER SHITTY cartoon that (thankfully) ended a decade ago!
>
> I mean, if it's so wonderful, how come it's not being shown ANYWHERE
> right now? How come it's not on DVD?

Wow, I can't argue with that "logic". Oh, wait, yes, I can, but I'm
not going to bother.

I don't know how you got the impression that I think this show is
wonderful from reading my review.

Did you even read my review?

Anyway, here's a reply from someone who really does think that the
show is wonderful.

Keep in mind that this was written by the boyfriend of the guy that
runs The Captain N Network, who hates me:

Good grief.

I Wish I Was a Wombatman is one of the best episodes of the series,
bar none. It has an original guest-star not based directly off of a
videogame, who manages to take the spotlight several times and without
whom the story would not have been half as engaging, it has some truly
frightening and tense scenes, and it has some really great dialogue,
some of the best I remember in the series, even after over ten years!

The episode, in and of itself, is a satire of television heroes...and
as such becomes a self-satire. But it does it in a way that doesn't
steal the fire from Captain N or the N-Team, but instead makes them
seem more likable. You really do feel for Kid when he finds out that
his hero has sort of gone by the wayside, and you feel for Wombatman
later when you find out his own sad story. It's the sort of thing
that unfortunately probably wouldn't be seen and taken seriously on
today's animated series from the West.

Captain N, during its run on TV, exemplified some of the truly best
and most enjoyable, dynamic situations of animated shows at the time.
That's not to say there weren't bad episodes...but the overwhelming
majority were excellent and inspiring. How else could it be so
fondly-remembered, even after all this time? Certainly it's no random
coincidence. We still look back, as fans, on episodes like Wombatman
and remember why it is we loved and love Captain N so dearly. The
characters were always real to us, and they were always treated in
realistic fashion. The tone of the episodes were not always entirely
lighthearted, but there was always amusing banter to lighten the mood
a bit. Mother Brain was a villain who was difficult to despise
outright, and she and her underlings were always so amusing. But
there was an unspoken horror about all the proceedings that gave an
air of dread over some episodes. We remember the emotions that we
went through, watching the series. It was in earnest one of the most
magnificent animated series in the history of animation, I think. It
certainly blows many modern-day anime series out of the water, and it
stands head and shoulders above Western animated series as well.
There is just so much to like about it.

But I digress; Wombatman is one of the episodes that, in a 'best of
series' collection, would stand out even from other best episodes.
It's a character study and gives us great strengths and weaknesses of
all the N-Team, and it really develops them as people to us. It takes
a difficult situation on many levels and allows it to be resolved in
many ways too. How could we not enjoy it? It speaks to us in so many
dimensions.

So I say this review is rubbish. Informative in the first part, some
amusing quotes that always stood out in my mind, but the rest of it I
can do without. If you dislike the series so much, why even bother
watching it?

Love!
Pchan
n.n


Mark

mhirtes

unread,
Apr 28, 2004, 12:54:36 AM4/28/04
to
In article <20040426084812...@mb-m12.aol.com>,
metlh...@aol.com (Metlhd3138) wrote:

> >I mean, if it's so wonderful, how come it's not being shown ANYWHERE
> >right now? How come it's not on DVD?
>
> Just because something is on DVD. Remember, Prostars is on dvd,

I rest my case.

Geez. Using a show that's even SHITTIER than Captain N as an example was
NOT a good thing for you to mention.

Metlhd3138

unread,
Apr 28, 2004, 11:05:03 AM4/28/04
to
>
>> >I mean, if it's so wonderful, how come it's not being shown ANYWHERE
>> >right now? How come it's not on DVD?
>>
>> Just because something is on DVD. Remember, Prostars is on dvd,
>
>I rest my case.
>
>Geez. Using a show that's even SHITTIER than Captain N as an example was
>NOT a good thing for you to mention.
>

What i MEANT to say was that just because something is on dvd does not mean its
any good. Remember, Prostars is on dvd
(thankfully, oblongs remains off dvd,,for now)

Mark Moore

unread,
Apr 28, 2004, 12:49:29 PM4/28/04
to
mhirtes <m...@nospambots.com> wrote in message news:<mh-DAB354.23...@news.central.cox.net>...

His point, doofus, was that, just because something is on DVD doesn't
mean that it's good. Conversely, not all good series are on DVD.


Mark

mhirtes

unread,
Apr 28, 2004, 6:05:29 PM4/28/04
to
In article <48d3c1d3.04042...@posting.google.com>,
sailo...@naturecoast.net (Mark Moore) wrote:

Well, it's a VERY safe bet that neither Captain N or Prostars will EVER
show up on video.

Just gonna have to settle for that crapola bootleg you bought at some
con, Mark.

Mark Moore

unread,
Apr 29, 2004, 12:43:19 AM4/29/04
to
mhirtes <m...@nospambots.com> wrote in message news:<mh-50E453.17...@news.central.cox.net>...

> Well, it's a VERY safe bet that neither Captain N or Prostars will EVER
> show up on video.

2 episodes have already been put on video.

Supposedly, a DVD is coming out this year, but that info comes from
CaptainN.Net, so it's probably crap.

> Just gonna have to settle for that crapola bootleg you bought at some
> con, Mark.

I taped all 34 episodes off of TV and got some variations and
commercials from other fans.


Mark

mhirtes

unread,
May 1, 2004, 6:04:31 AM5/1/04
to
In article <48d3c1d3.0404...@posting.google.com>,
sailo...@naturecoast.net (Mark Moore) wrote:

> mhirtes <m...@nospambots.com> wrote in message
> news:<mh-50E453.17...@news.central.cox.net>...
> > Well, it's a VERY safe bet that neither Captain N or Prostars will EVER
> > show up on video.
>
> 2 episodes have already been put on video.
>
> Supposedly, a DVD is coming out this year, but that info comes from
> CaptainN.Net, so it's probably crap.

Just like your Captain N fetish.

Matt Benson

unread,
May 1, 2004, 5:40:25 PM5/1/04
to
I actually liked Captain N, but perhaps it's more of a sentimentality
issue than anything else.

Mark Moore

unread,
May 2, 2004, 9:46:21 PM5/2/04
to
Benso...@msn.com (Matt Benson) wrote in message news:<d3e03a45.04050...@posting.google.com>...

> I actually liked Captain N, but perhaps it's more of a sentimentality
> issue than anything else.

It is. Trust me.

If you're not convinced, search this newsgroup for my previous reviews
and read them.


Mark

mhirtes

unread,
May 3, 2004, 9:19:21 PM5/3/04
to
In article <48d3c1d3.04050...@posting.google.com>,
sailo...@naturecoast.net (Mark Moore) wrote:

> Benso...@msn.com (Matt Benson) wrote in message
> news:<d3e03a45.04050...@posting.google.com>...
> > I actually liked Captain N, but perhaps it's more of a sentimentality
> > issue than anything else.
>
> It is. Trust me.

No. You are not to be trusted. You actually think a p.o.s. show like
"Captain N" is not only watchable, but worthy of endless stacks of
horrid fanfic.

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