Clearing my name

[najey...@gmail.com]

Hello everyone. I've been informed that some people are saying that I said something that might be deemed tactless or insensitive. I know I'm a very candid guy and don't often think before I speak, but this in particular I felt the need to correct for three main reasons:

• There are trans people in my life I love very dearly who are mutual friends with some members of rLab.
• I know someone is going to tell me off about this, so I'm just writing out what happened clearly so my side of the story exists in writing.
• Rumours corrupt information, which could lead to far worse accusations!

Before I explain what happened, I lastly want to say that I have no bad blood against anyone involved in this rumour; I have been on the giving and receiving end of the rumour mill in the past and I know how easy it is for information to get lost in transfer.

Here's what really happened:

1. We were having a conversation about names
2. He mentioned he'd chosen his name
3. I asked why
4. He said he was trans
5. I then commented that this concluded a big mystery, and apologised for having driven the information out of him
6. He didn't mind and didn't seem to feel I was tactless

I hope this clears things up; I'm not upset about the rumour, I just wanted to be clear before Tom told Dick who told Harry that I'm some kind of bigot!

[taraj...@gmail.com]

Speaking as a trans woman myself I would say that this is a very reasonable conversation to have  and not at all tactless. The fact is, that when people such as myself go onto "cross-sex hormones", it has very little effect on the ravages of the male puberty. They can soften features and in a few cases can promote breast growth but that's about it. However, when trans men go on to testosteroe therapy the effects on their appearand is staggering: they grow body hair, facial hair and the features harden. Many also start to go bald (the only people who would celebrate MPB! LOL) and they look exactly like cis men so it can come as a surprise to many of us when someone reveals that they are a trans man after they are "fully done".

[Frank in Woodcote]

Putting my neck on the line here... Is the best place for non-technical discussions not really related to rlab activity?

[Mark Morris]

Probably a decision for rLab members to make :)

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[Helen Roche]

So far as I know, this is the only place apart from the physical rLab itself for communally discussing any subject related to rLab activity. So I'd say, yes, this IS the place :) 
Also, the group description does not specify that it is only for technical discussions:

• It is made up of member's of the lab, and those with an interest in it's activities. 
• New posters will be moderated, so don't worry if your post doesn't immediately appear.
• Keep discussions civil and on topic, be excellent to each other!

[Helen Roche]

Also, well done to Naj for addressing something that he thought might get misinterpreted in the rumour mill, and setting things straight. 

[Hugh Wells]

Agree with Helen 🙂 

Thanks for the post Naj. I have to say my interactions with you have only been positive! 

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[najey...@gmail.com]

awh shucks 😊 you guys are too kind