Yom Kippur Greetings From Gentiles

[Demetrius Dade]

YomKippur is the High Holy "Day of Atonement," the holiest day of the Jewish year, and a day of somber reflection. Knowing how to greet your Jewish friends and associates during Yom Kippur properly shows you care and can also help you avoid using inappropriate Yom Kippur greetings.

The Days of Awe include Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and the days between. On Rosh Hashanah, God inscribes a person's fate in "The Book of Life," and a time of renewal begins when God suspends judgment. Individuals have ten days to change their fate, but on Yom Kippur, fates are sealed.

Yom Kippur is always celebrated on the 10th day of the month of Tishrei on the Jewish lunisolar calendar. On the Gregorian calendar, Yom Kippur falls sometime in September or October. Yom Kippur is a day of fasting from food, bathing, physical contact, and work. Most observant Jews spend the day in synagogue services, confessing and praying for forgiveness for their past year's sins.

Even if you're not Jewish, it's considerate and respectful to share well wishes to your Jewish friends and colleagues on Yom Kippur. Just remember that Yom Kipper isn't a day of celebration; it's a solemn and pensive day. Greeting like "Merry Yom Kippur!" and "Happy Yom Kippur!" are not appropriate. However, if the Hebrew greetings above have you stumbling on your words, you can use the English translations, or you could simply say or write.

On the Gregorian calendar, Yom Kipper does not fall on the same day each year, so make sure you have the correct date. Additionally, many observers of Yom Kippur do not use technology during the holiday. So, if you want to share a virtual greeting, send it before Yom Kippur or after the fast has been broken.

Yom Kippur isn't a day of sadness. Jewish people aren't mourning their past missteps; they're facing up to them and sincerely repenting so they can start the following year with a clean slate. Jewish people have faith that their sins have been forgiven, so Yom Kippur ends on a high. Still, you should keep in mind the solemn, contemplative nature of the day and make your Yom Kippur greetings warm and sincere. If you're still unsure of how your Jewish friends and associates prefer to be greeted on Yom Kippur, just ask!

If you want a general understanding of what your Jewish friends' and colleagues' holidays are, or if you just want to avoid making Principal Skinner's mistake when you schedule Jewish employees, co-workers, colleagues or students, then this is the page for you. Other pages on this site provide more detailed information about the Jewish calendar and the holidays; this page just tells you what you minimally need to know to avoid embarrassing yourself or offending Jews.

Jewish holidays actually occur on the same day every year: the same day on the Jewish calendar! The Jewish calendar has a different number of days than the calendar you use because the Jewish calendar is tied to the moon's cycles instead of the sun's. The Jewish calendar loses about 11 days relative to the solar calendar every year, but makes up for it by adding a month every two or three years. As a result, the holidays don't always fall on the same day, but they always fall within the same month or two. The Chinese calendar (which is also lunar) works the same way, which is why Chinese New Year occurs on different days but is always in late January or early February. The Muslim calendar is lunar but does not add months, which is why Ramadan circles the calendar.

In ancient times, because of confusion about the calendar, an extra day was added to some holidays. In modern times, some branches of Judaism have abandoned this custom, returning the holidays to the length specified in the Bible. Other branches continue the ancient tradition of adding a day to certain holidays. Thus for some Jews, Thursday is a holiday but Friday is not, while for others, both Thursday and Friday are holidays.

Adding to the confusion is the fact that a Jewish "day" starts at sunset, and holidays start the evening before the day on your secular calendar. For example, if your calendar says that Passover starts on April 24, families will be getting together for Passover dinner on the night of April 23. A few secular calendars mark the preceding day as "Erev Passover," which basically means Passover Eve. If your calendar says "Erev" or "Eve" before a holiday name, it means the holiday starts the evening of that day and continues into the next day.

The holidays discussed below are not necessarily the most important Jewish holidays, but they are the holidays that are most commonly observed by American Jews, and they are the holidays that American Jews will expect you to be familiar with.

This holiday commemorates the Exodus from Egypt. If you've seen Cecil B. DeMille's "The Ten Commandments," then you know the story of Passover, more or less. Passover is celebrated for seven or eight days (depending on your branch of Judaism) starting on the night of a full moon in April. Passover usually overlaps with Easter, though occasionally Passover occurs a month after Easter.

Almost all American Jews observe Passover to some extent, even if only to go to their parents' house for a ritual dinner (called a seder, pronounced SAY-der) on the first and/or second night of the holiday. Most (though not all) American Jews avoid bread and grain products to one extent or another throughout this holiday, in memory of the fact that our ancestors left Egypt in a hurry and didn't have time to wait for their bread to rise. You should avoid scheduling events involving food during this holiday, and should avoid scheduling travel for Jews because it may be hard for them to find suitable food away from home.

Strictly observant Jews do not work, go to school or carry out any business on the first two and last two days of Passover (first one day and last one day for some branches). This is a requirement of Jewish law; however, only about 10% of the American Jewish population observes this rule strictly. Most American Jews will work through Passover, although many may want to take time off the day before Passover, to prepare for the big family dinner. To put this in perspective: imagine if you had to work during the day of Thanksgiving, then prepare for Thanksgiving dinner after getting home from work.

Remember that Passover, like all Jewish holidays, begins the evening before the date that it appears on your calendar. If your calendar says that Passover starts on April 24, then Passover really begins with the family dinner on the night of April 23.

Rosh Hashanah is Jewish New Year, the day when the year number on the Jewish calendar increases. It occurs between Labor Day and Columbus Day. It lasts for one or two days, depending on your branch of Judaism.

Rosh Hashanah is a happy, festive holiday, but somewhat more solemn than American New Year. Like American New Year, it is a time to look back at the past year and make resolutions for the following year. It is also a wake-up call, a time to begin mental preparations for the upcoming day of atonement, Yom Kippur.

Many Jews who do not go to synagogue any other time of year will go to synagogue on Rosh Hashanah. You've heard of "twice-a-year Christians" who go to church only on Christmas and Easter? "Twice-a-year Jews" go to synagogue only on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

Most American Jews expect gentiles to be aware of Rosh Hashanah. It is, after all, listed on most calendars you buy in the store, but remember: the holiday starts at sunset the night before the day shown on your calendar! Many will be offended if you schedule important events, meetings or tests on Rosh Hashanah. Even those who do not go to synagogue and do not observe the holiday may be offended. Imagine how you would feel if someone scheduled such activities on Christmas or Easter, even if you didn't have anything special planned for the day, and you will understand how Jews feel about this holiday.

Yom Kippur is the Jewish day of atonement, a day of fasting and repentance to reconcile ourselves with the Creator for the mistakes we have made in the last year. It occurs on the ninth day after the first day of Rosh Hashanah (Rosh Hashanah occurs on the first day of the Jewish month; Yom Kippur occurs on the 10th), so it is usually in late September or early October, sometimes falling on Columbus Day. For obvious reasons, nobody adds an extra day to this 25-hour fast!

Remember that this holiday starts the evening before the day it appears on your secular calendar. Some secular calendars will mark the preceding day as Kol Nidre, which is the name of the first service of the holiday, in the evening.

Most (but not all) Jews take off from work or school on this day, even ones who are not religious at other times. This is the busiest day of the year for synagogues, even though many synagogues charge for tickets to this day's services (to defray the cost of serving so many extra people). Many will also want to leave work early the night before, so they have time for a large, slow meal before this 25-hour fast. Like Rosh Hashanah, most American Jews expect gentiles to be aware of this day, and almost all will be offended if you schedule important activities on it.

How do you pronounce the name of this holiday? "Yom" rhymes with "home" and "Kippur" sounds like "key poor" with emphasis on the "poor." A lot of Americans (even American Jews) pronounce "Kippur" like the smoked fish dish, kipper, but this really isn't correct. Please don't pronounce it that way; there is something fundamentally wrong with naming a fast day after a food item!

Chanukah is the festival of lights, commemorating the rededication of the Temple in Jerusalem after a successful revolt against the Seleucid Greeks. As part of the rededication, the victorious Jews needed to light the Temple's menorah (candelabrum), but they had only enough oil to last one day and it would take eight days to prepare more oil. Miraculously, the one-day supply of oil lasted for eight days. The miracle of the oil is commemorated with this eight-day candlelighting holiday.

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