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With abandon,
Patrick
1. When people recognize me in the community, they know me as the "bike girl" or the "biking mom." One family said I'm referred to in certain circles as Mother Goose. (I scratched my head at that one.) They perceive the boys and me wistfully, wishing they had time to also ride their bikes. They don't believe that the bike has a place in their everyday lives, because of time and logistics, but they are supportive of me because biking seems idyllic to them. I suppose it looks enjoyable as I'm not suffering out there - I'm chatting with the boys, sunglasses on, hair blowing in the breeze. They add that it would be good exercise as an afterthought. The primary allure is that it looks simple and enjoyable to ride your bike in the morning with your stuff carefully stowed on your way to SOMEWHERE. Add a fluffy, adorable dog in the basket and people just swoon.
2. Cyclists on road bikes in lycra who share the road are seen as selfish and as annoyances. I see it in the gestures and head shakes of motorists. The occasional honks. The even rarer yelling out the window. It seems to me that most motorists around here don't like road bikes. They like me well enough - but I stay on the path and out of their way - I don't share the road with them. Also, the sweepy bars of my bike and its happy blue paint and retro feel and my non-lycra appeals to them, maybe because I'm a regular person, or because I'm seen as a throwback to a more carefree time.
Road bikes have none of that romanticism and are seen as unnecessarily getting in the way just to get exercise while everyone is clamoring to get down this mountain to WORK. And little else will make a person feel their time is more important than yours than when they are on their way to work.
I don't feel alone anymore because I've carved an identity in the neighborhood and it feels good to be known!
In sum, The Big 2 To Being Liked By Motorists: Ride a romantic bike in normal clothing and stay out of their way...and you'll be absolutely adorable. Ha!
1. When people recognize me in the community, they know me as the "bike girl" or the "biking mom." One family said I'm referred to in certain circles as Mother Goose. (I scratched my head at that one.)

Add a fluffy, adorable dog in the basket and people just swoon.



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I have a Golden Retriever. No bike baskets for my guy! 😉
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I'll go so far as to say this: most women appreciate when people notice the effort they put into throwing together a nice outfit, or when they're having a GREAT hair day or when they get new lipstick. Healthy women don't want to be sexualized, and that's the difference. Rest assured Doug, you are guiltless.
Sean, I fail to see anything sexual in Doug's comment. I see a compliment. Please don't speak for me.
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Compliments are certainly not outside the expectations for this forum; we give and get them in one way or another all the time on the list. I like your style, great idea, awesome cap, cute dog, stylin' outfit, whatever. In fact, there’s a whole (predominantly women’s) movement out there that thrives on appreciation of fashion and function for biking - it’s known as bicycle chic, in fact, I relate to that over the bike packing, century-conquering sets. And while I do have a keen mind, some mad talent in the kitchen, and a witty sense of humor, the day no one thinks I’m cute is going to be a sad day for me indeed.
We’re not at work; we’re among friends in an affinity group. We can pay each other compliments. Let’s assume the best about one another; no one on this forum means anyone else any harm. Saying someone looks cute or fit or good is just fine. If you comment that my a$$ looks good in those shorts -I’d agree with you- but we’d have an issue, you and me, because that’s sexual.Now my dog, on the other hand…well, when he found out about this he really wanted to give Doug a chance to email HIM an apology. My American Eskimo dog does not identify as “cute.” And he is outraged that anyone would label him so.
I respect your right not to ever receive a compliment. Even if your hair is really GQ that day, I promise I shall refrain. But let’s not shame well-meaning folks from paying harmless compliments. The culture in which we find ourselves is ridiculously offend-able and reactive and thin-skinned and ridiculous. Let’s refuse to participate.
On Feb 14, 2018, at 10:00 AM, Sean Kline <sean...@alumni.lse.ac.uk> wrote:
I'm glad to hear that. Your voice is your own.I wasn't seeking to speak for you at all, but flagging a comment that felt outside my expectations of this forum. If others feels commenting on member's appearance in that way is cool and 'just kidding' around, then fine. I don't in the same way I don't expect a comment like that at work.
On Wed, Feb 14, 2018 at 9:07 AM, Bicycle Belle Ding Ding! <jonasa...@gmail.com> wrote:
Sean, I fail to see anything sexual in Doug's comment. I see a compliment. Please don't speak for me.
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