What is all' y'all's bike cleaning regimen? How often, after what, and how?
Me: not very often, but yes on the rare occasions that they get very dirty, as from the rare messy ride when rain or snow makes mud (high desert here, so plenty of dust but little rain or snow or mud, tho' cold enough for snow). I also clean when the dust builds up from off road riding: the local dirt is river silt that is usually dry and that forms sand bogs and gets blow about by the wind. "Builds up" means "pretty bad" and, like mud, calls for putting the stand outside near a faucet, putting bike in stand, and lightly spraying dust or mud off, then washing everything from tubes and fenders to cogs and chain and tires with soft brush and warmish water with dish detergent; rinse, bounce, let air dry (fast, here), then lube chain (used to be Molten Speed Wax in crockpot, now wipe chain thoroughly, drip on ProLink or somesuch, wipe quickly, let dry, wipe more -- if you wipe the excess while wet and come back in a couple of hours to wipe again, there's very little black on the rag.
After the chain, lube pivots -- brake calipers, derailleurs and wipe; add few drops of oil to SA hub/s; lube trigger shifter; wipe.
For the road bikes, I will occasionally simply wipe off the dust, wipe and lube chain as above, and lube pivots and SA hub -- no water.
But none of my bikes are as pristine as many of those pictured.
I'd guess I do the water wash on the prized off road bike (Matthews 1:1 road bike for dirt) 4 to 6 times per year, the Monocog, beater, I usually just wipe and lube the chain and, besides, it's a ss with cable discs so little to worry about; the road bikes get washed perhaps 2X per year and wiped about 4X that often.