Softball: GGP it is! (Time to F the Goldwater Rule)

[raymond...@gmail.com]

Dear People,

 

On a gorgeous but bone-chilling day in which three layers of skivvies was likely the minimum required for basic seminal survival (of admitted irrelevance for those of us in the vasectosphere), my team took on Chris Fure’s on the hallowed ground of our still vital and fence-free Codornices homeland. To be sure, there was a deeper appreciation of her lush grasses and yak-laden tundra given the city’s ceaseless threats to literally fence her off from those who cherish her most. Of course the profundity of an athlete’s love for the park on which they play won’t necessarily make them a better slugger or fielder, and sadly, I believe that the Furinator now understands this from exceedingly raw experience.

 

Yeah, Chris’ peeps included some of the finest batters this league has ever known, including community legends Eoin, Danny, and Brian H, and yet the bitter truth is that Steve Bedrick essentially shut them all down with a breath-taking blend of his signature grease, tar, and goolie balls. Sure, Christopher himself went 4 for 5, and in that sense he had an honorable run at the plate, but at the end of the day, leadership-by-example only gets you so far if your complete inability to galvanize the talent sucks the very soul out of the communal whole, and thus, not surprisingly, his tragically listless contingent went down in a hot larded wok of totally uncured failure franks, 17-8. Sad.

 

The point is that I’ve now been informed that the Department of Parks and Wreck has followed through with its shameless seasonal closure of Codornices, and as far as I know, most or all of the other city fields as well. I suspect that history won’t judge the DPW or Big Fence kindly, and trust me, like President Donald Douchebag-Wackjob, I too was about to hop on my Truth Social account and send out over 150 consecutive tweet-rants on the city, the department, the former city librarian, the aphids, the universities, the affordability con, the Hayward Fault, the libtards, Biden, the fake news, Michelle Obama, the Somali gardeners, the Venezuelan fruit vendors, the climate con, the illegals, the legal illegals, the radical left, the piggy chick reporters, the radical activist libtard judges, James Comey, the autopen, the taco trucks, Letisha James, the third world, the cocaine-trafficking narco-terrorists, Jimmy Kimmel, Barack Hussein Obama, the Epstein con, shifty Adam Schiff, Sabrina Carpenter, and all of the other totally woke anti-Trump softball-despising America-haters. But alas, it was 1:23AM Tuesday morning, my solidarity faded, and I fell asleep instead. 

 

So yeah, Codornices is now closed and our 5,177-nuke-stockpile-controlling Commander-in-Chief is an irrefutable pre-pubescent id-dominated schoolyard sociopath with what can only be assumed is not the most auspicious cognitive trajectory ahead, but hey, we’re nothing if not diasporic, determined, and resilient, and therefore there will be a game at resplendent North Oakland’s Golden Gate Park at San Pablo and 62nd this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning (more info on this majestic but deeply misunderstood field in the upcoming confirmation letter) . . . Raymond