[Living Raw And Free] My Thoughts About The American Dream
Rawman Walking
Wow… ‘I’ve the education, the experience and the power, now all I need is a business so I can live the American Dream’. That was my statement 30 years ago.
As I look back that far on what I wrote, I chuckle at myself. Through the sieve of time which has tossed me into the air and winnowed me like wheat, being separated from the chaff, my foolishness and ignorance is easy for me, as well as all mankind to see.
Something's I’m Still About Learning 30 Years Later…
Real Education
Today, I realize education is not a degree or a certificate, but and ongoing process. I now understand that real education goes far beyond the classroom. I also believe there is something much more important than being at the top of the class and that’s knowing the difference between truth and theory and how to discern right from wrong. These are the two most important things we can learn starting in kindergarten through graduate school if only it were in our core curriculum. This knowledge would save all of us a lot of backtracking.
Today I commit myself to learning something new and sharing with others what I learned yesterday. There is joy in real learning when it’s subjected to the light of truth and is given and received in love. What we have learned seems to have a magical touch and is easily shared and grasped by others.
Real Experience
These are the definitions of “experience” that I garnered from looking up the word.
· Go or live through; "We had many trials to go through"; "he saw action in Viet Nam" · Know: have firsthand knowledge of states, situations, emotions, or sensations; "I know the feeling!"; "Have you ever known hunger?"; "I have lived a kind of hell when I was a drug addict"; "The holocaust survivors have lived a nightmare"; "I lived through two divorces" · Go through (mental or physical states or experiences); "Get an idea"; "Experience vertigo"; "Get nauseous"; "Receive injuries"; "Have a feeling" · The accumulation of knowledge or skill that results from direct participation in events or activities; "A man of experience"; "Experience is the ... “· Feel: Undergo an emotional sensation or be in a particular state of mind; "She felt resentful"; "He felt regret". · Have: Undergo; "The stocks had a fast run-up" · An event as apprehended; "A surprising experience"; "That painful experience certainly got our attention" .
Finally, after a lifetime of consciously relying on and living in the confusion of relying on my past experience to direct my every move; today, I am finally free. For me my past experiences are just that, they are from the past, meaning they only have merit when l I reach in and stir them up and take one out. As I have grown into a man I have learned the only time I really need to recall my experiences is when I bring them up from the depths of my mind for the purpose of using them as learning tools or to evoke feelings of love and joy. It seems pretty dangerous to use them for bragging rights as they usually tend to be used to validate and build my ego. Today I dwell more in the experience of the moment, as it seems to me, it’s really the only place that I am really sure I can validate the experience of what is happening right now and it’s the only one I really have a 100% certainty it’s happening… Woops there goes that experience “said it, done it been there”. Don’t get me wrong I am not saying experiences are not important. I do accept the philosophy of John Dewey, that all past experiences influence our future experiences. I just know if you dwell on any of them good, bad or indifferent you get stuck. Just plain stuck, like one of those dolls that you pull the string and it talks, but is short on vocabulary. What I like to keep in mind, so I won’t lose my mind is simply that the contents of experience are the "what’s" and the conditions of experience and the "how’s". The ‘what’s’ are not as controllable as the ‘how’s’. As my Dad would say, “Son it’s not the problem that’s the problem it’s how you are looking at the problem –take a new look”. So, my last thought on experience is to live in the moment. Love yourself enough to forgive yourself and others for the bad experiences that you or they may have created and start this very moment bringing about a better you and a better world as you filter your “hows” through love and forgiveness.
The Real Power
This is one I really have a difficult time touching on. It seems to me the statement “Power Corrupts and Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely” has real merit. I continue to find that I see myself so differently until I see myself through the lens of a video camera. My first thoughts are “that can’t be me”! Has this ever happen to you?
As I reflect on power and why it was important to me I realize the truth is I was afraid of my own weakness, afraid to look deep inside and finding out that I was nothing more than a scared little boy on the roller coaster of life and once I left the amusement park I would have no place to call home. I was sure, I would succeed and grow rich as long as I believed I had power and through my power the world would recognize me and I would not be left alone. Even when I was down I pretended to be the best the most powerful self I could be. Yes, power was my shield from experiencing pain associated with seeing the real me. What I am learning in this life, is that it is the only one I have and it’s truly a gift. I am not the author of this life, nor will I be the finisher. I cannot create nor can I take away the sorrow nor heal the pains of this life by acting powerful; It’s only by my acknowledging and accepting of who I am, a human being who did not get to choose where, when, how or to whom he was to be born. That is when I became free to just be me and accept with gratitude my place on this planet. The one thing I do have power over is how I perceive my place in this world. Today I know the only real power is in serving my fellowman and remembering my life was not earned by me, it was given to me, so whatever transpires is what it should be and whether its genetic disposition or the signs in the sky I am and that is enough. For power wielded in a wrongful manner, I want to deeply apologize to especially my estranged wife, my first wife, my children, family, friends, business associates, employees and whomever has been injured by my ignorance of power and how it can corrupt our souls. Again I deeply apologize and hope you will heal from any and all the wounds I have inflicted.
The Business
It seems like my whole life has been wrapped up in the belief that business was the only way a Red Blooded American could succeed; And now that I am taking a moment to reflect on my life and digging down, stirring up and taking out some of my experiences and reflect on them in the light of “how” instead of why the answer smack me right in face.
Even at the young age of four years old I can remember my grandfather, father, and other male family members and friends whispering among themselves asking each other what they will do if they are laid off or fired? They talked about unions and strikes and for some reason the word strike always put a chill up my spine. I guess even at as young boy I knew if my father was laid off, fired, or the union went on strike our household would not be a happy place anymore. Yes, I saw their faces light up as I listened to them speak of their dreams of what it was going to be like and how they would finally have power over their own destiny when they finally owned a business of their own. It was going to be like heaven to them they would finally be free from the fears and powerlessness that goes hand-in-hand with “working for the man”. A few succeeded in breaking their chains, but their businesses were under funded and failed. Most of them never even really did anything except join a multi-level business or do side work. All have either gone to their graves or have settled for small retirements, never having crossed over to what they believed were the greener pastures of owning one’s own business.
Ahhh…The McDonalds & Kentucky Fried Chicken Dream – I still can hear the excitement in my parents voices as they tried to figure out how to get into a McDonalds or KFC. They dreamed and schemed and I’m not sure, but they may have even submitted applications. I remember they became disheartened when they could not get enough money together to own one of those franchises. I along with them believed we could just pack up all our troubles and skip down the yellow brick road and arrive in Emerald City, before the boogie man got us. No such luck, raising and supporting 3 kids took all they had and the extra money to live their dream just never came their way.
As I grew in to my teens, I can clearly hear myself saying, “I will never in a million years work for ‘the’ man”. I was going to do it differently and I would help my family, friends and fellowmen break their chains and get into their own businesses as well.
Surprise –Being “the man” is not as wonderful as I thought and that brings me back to my opening statement. “I’ve the education, the experience and the power now all I need is a business to so I can live the American Dream”.
Well I did what I said I would do and did everything in my power not to have to work for anyone else and to be the boss and own a business. Every business I ended up owning or having percentage of ownership in or businesses that were already going but were usually on the verge of failure. Owners and stockholders brought me in and promised me a piece of the action if I could do what we in the business world call “stop the bleeding” and turn the business back in to a profitable entity. Everyday was painful, as I was now the guy that people were whispering about and were afraid I would lay them off or fire them. I had become my most hated persona “the man”. I justified what I had to do as “The American way” and the business had to survive so owners could prosper, investors profit and employees remain employed. Funny thing, when I was about to do this I had to make a lot of peoples live miserable by making personnel cutbacks and benefit cut backs so I could financially drive the company forward and increase sales all at the same time. Talk about intense work. My partners and investors usually loved me but employees feared me. Sometimes government regulators would come gunning for me. In one instance I ended up getting control of a large chunk of an insurance company that was really in a mess. I thought I understood the business but within weeks of taking claim of my stock, A partner disappeared and I ended up paying out thousands of dollars in fines and having to give up a license I had never gotten to used. It forced me to sell the company for pennies on the dollar and if that loss was not enough I was written about and called a “Master of Deceit”. Funny how being in the wrong place at the right time can ruin your reputation; And my Dad thought owning a business was like going to heaven, more like hell if you asked me then. What is that saying about greener grass of the other side of the fence. It is true that we live and learn. We don’t learn and live until much later in life when sometimes we feel it is too late.
No matter what the circumstance I found myself feeling lost and unhappy and it didn’t matter whether the business was doing well or failing. Days turned into months, months into years and every year I became more and more dissatisfied with the “American Dream”.
Finally in 2002, I felt I had found a business in which I could really make a difference. It was a women’s health and fitness franchise. Their health and wellness philosophies were in line with my beliefs. I did not know it, but I had cancer when I took on the consulting job. I was popping 20-30 pain killers a day to keep the pain in my neck and ear under control. I had been using over the counter pain meds to deal with the pain for almost two years and had been to several doctors who had given me several different misdiagnoses. Anyway this was another “Stop the Bleeding and Turn-Around the Business” consulting job. I had not planned on being a partner, and I was actually positioning myself for ownership in a communications company. But when it was offered to me in early 2002, especially without having to put up any money, I gladly accepted. Come to find out, in reality the stock was given to me because each partner had thought they could power-up over the other by bringing me to their side to use my voting shares in support their agenda. Anyway the business was in shambles and during my first week on the job the partners were so frustrated with each other they almost came to blows and even changed out the locks on each other. Sounds funny, but that’s how frustrating business can be, turning civilized grown men into raging maniacs. To make a long story short I was able to stop the bleeding, turn the company around, pay back the investors, put money in the owner’s pockets and obtain a nice share of the business. Thing were going along really well, we had expanded our product lines and were now offering a line of vitamins and supplements, along with spray tans and body wraps, most of the franchises were building their businesses and that was a good thing.
Cancer Is Confirmed
Just before Christmas of 2003, I found out I had an advanced form of head and neck cancer. In a matter of 72 hours I was bought out, which enabled me to focus on the healing process that took every waking moment of mine and my wife’s attention. I want to innerject, I would have not ever made it through the cancer without my wife’s help. Though we are apart and divorcing I will always be thankful to her for helping me make it through a disease that I would most likely not been able to come out of without her support and care. While I was fighting my cancer, the partners went back to fighting with each other, but this time they were not just locking each other out of offices they were suing each other. There was nothing I could do to control the outbreak as I no longer had ownership. I could only sit and watch the business spiral out of control. They sold out for pennies on the dollar and instead of the million plus owed to me, I ended up with a few thousand dollars, lawsuits, no insurance and personal debt. Are you sure you still want to be in business?
Why I Left the Business World
When It Rains It Pours
After finally being healed of my cancer in the fall of 2004, I suddenly found myself alive and not sure why. Like most cancer survivors, I didn’t know what to do with myself each day, or how I was suppose to live out the remainder of my life. Though I did not show any more signs of cancer, I was absolutely exhausted and would need several months of physical therapy to be able to get back on my feet and be able to take care of myself. I was pretty much a broken man physically, financially relationally and spiritually. My marriage was in tatters, my fault not hers, judge me as you will. This is so very personal for me. To comment further serves no purpose. The Cancer battle was expensive as we had decided to approach it from and allopathic and a holistic approach. I believe it saved my life, but by the time we came out of the cancer, I say we, meaning my wife & I and the family and friends who gave my wife and I prayers and support, we had to move from our home into a smaller one and we had hocked, sold or lost everything we had worked for.
I was physically weak, financially broke and had no prospects for a job, or financial recovery to start a company. I lost friends, as that happens when you are sick with terminal cancer. I lost past investors, as who would invest in a guy they were not sure would even be alive in 6 months. My life seemed rather hopeless though I was thankful for my healing and coming out of the cancer. I still felt like I was in a car on a foggy, rainy road and was sliding sideways out of control. As I look back I realize now I was in absolute depression. All seemed lost and my prospects of owning a business or even consulting seemed slim to none.
I was so thankful when a friend whom I had only seen once during my cancer recovery, but had consulted for on other projects, invited me to come and meet the owner of a business in Florida. Thus began the Java Joz, Cuppy’s, Medina Saga and my move to Destin, FL.
When I got into the company I worked diligently to analyze the company and work on the turn around. The company was on the verge of going out of business.
To start there were dozens of customers without real estate sites to place buildings and more people who didn’t have their financing in place. The company that was handling the real estate was not doing its job and left the customers to do the search themselves and then milking the commissions if they were able to find a site, which at the time was almost impossible without paying top dollar. The person doing the financing was a broker who charged an upfront fee and did little to assist the new coffee store owners. I was emotionally invested in this company to the point that I purchased the company from someone who was preoccupied with IRS complications from 10 years previous. It took a year to provide the company with the resources and services I thought it needed to accomplish its goals across the entire USA. It takes a long time to fix something that didn’t break over night.
Then the bottom fell out when banks pulled back their financing and SBA loan qualifications were increased. The worst part was the wedge put into the mix from the Unhappyfranchisee.com blog site bashing our every move as we worked non stop to stop the bleeding. This site’s objective is to bash franchises that have the smallest of hiccups to devastating pitfalls. It is a site where Sean Kelley makes money using his time and energy to bash other people with assumptions and accusations all of which make the worried franchisees scared. Of course people need to be aware and be concerned, but not by a stranger adding fuel to the fire for their personal financial benefit. Of course things got rough, but when you have someone antagonizing your people it makes it hard to work as a team. I was exhausted working very long hours 7 days a week doing everything in my power to keep this business afloat. We moved the Real Estate in house, we did in house financing and we even set up an in house refund pool for people who wanted to get out of the business. Unfortunately, there was not enough money to bail us all out and there wasn’t enough knowledge and energy within myself to stop the bleeding alone. After serious salary cut backs and high emotions within the company, I took up an offer from a consultant for help. After several months of working and assisting in directing day to day operations of the company he offered me a buyout. I was told that the only was he could save the company was if I gave him ownership as he had promised he could bring in investors without me on board. My reputation was ruined due to my inability to carry the company alone but mostly due from the defamation of character by Sean Kelley and Unhappyfranchisee.com. I knew that I could not do it alone so I sold the company. I did not make my money back at that time and the reason was there wasn’t enough cash for a buyout, to complete construction and finance the refund pool, there was enough for operations with the cut backs.
In April of 2008 I sold my interest in the company in which I had invested all my money, time and talent. I made the sale to a person who had been a lead consultant and business mentor, who promised me that if I sold the company to him he would be able to stop the blogs and get the business back in the black. I made the sale on a promise of being paid for the assets and values over an extended period of time. At the time value of the business was hard to determine, but selling it for three million including interest would give me and the other, major stock holder who had twenty-five percent interest, a chance to work on projects where we would not have to be working 60 -70 hours a week. On top of this I was exhausted, not fully recovered and my partner was past sixty-five and really wanted to leave the stress of the business world behind.
So here I am today - I too am one of the losers and one of the people who lost their fortunes. Am I the scammer? No, I am just a hard working man who could not stop the bleeding in a company that I thought I could. Did I do anything wrong, illegal or unethical while I worked with that company? No, I did not even have authorization to sign checks. So now if you or anyone else doubts me and my scam to make money through business ventures by ‘taking’ from people rethink who is doing this and why. I am the one who is out 3 million dollars along with many others who are out in their personal investments as well. I do not own a beach condo, drive a Jaguar nor do I have any assets. I lost my life just as much as the others involved in this company. If anyone else could go in and fix it then they should have stood up and taken it on. I did not sabotage the company nor did I gain financially. I lost just as the rest of you. The only person gaining here is the guy on Unhappyfranchisee.com, Sean Kelley, by using his site. He is the one benefiting from the loss of our investments, our dreams and your passions.
I hope that you are like me and continue to work toward your passion and have faith that with the help of God you will make it. My passion is Raw food and teaching. I may not have been good at being a business owner, or being a husband, or even being a father or friend but now I am going to succeed in walking with God and sharing what I know works. My passion is in healing with raw foods, teaching others how to survive disease through a raw food diet while adding meditation and easing the stress of life and increasing their spiritual being. That is my true American Dream!
I know that Sean Kelley & Unhappyfranchisee.com will take this, dissect this and post the pieces and parts he wants on his site and interject his derogatory comments. Know that I have written this for you, my family, my friends, readers and those who have lost their investments and are suffering. And as I have said before it was not my intention to take from hurt or cause undue pain to anyone in my life. May each of you find peace.
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Posted By Rawman Walking to Living Raw And Free at 8/23/2009 06:59:00 PM
Rawman Walking
Wow… ‘I’ve the education, the experience and the power, now all I need is a business so I can live the American Dream’.
That was my statement 30 years ago... As I look back that far on what I wrote, I chuckle at myself. Through the sieve of time which has tossed me into the air and winnowed me like wheat, being separated from the chaff, my foolishness and ignorance is easy for me, as well as all mankind to see.
Something's I’m Still About Learning 30 Years Later…
The Real Education
Today, I realize education is not a degree or a certificate, but and ongoing process. I now understand that real education goes far beyond the classroom. I also believe there is something much more important than being at the top of the class and that’s knowing the difference between truth and theory and how to discern right from wrong. These are the two most important things we can learn starting in kindergarten through graduate school if only it were in our core curriculum. This knowledge would save all of us a lot of backtracking.
Today I commit myself to learning something new and sharing with others what I learned yesterday. There is joy in real learning when it’s subjected to the light of truth and is given and received in love. What we have learned seems to have a magical touch and is easily shared and grasped by others.
The Real Experience
These are the definitions of “experience” that I garnered from looking up the word.
· Go or live through; "We had many trials to go through"; "he saw action in Viet Nam" · Know: have firsthand knowledge of states, situations, emotions, or sensations; "I know the feeling!"; "Have you ever known hunger?"; "I have lived a kind of hell when I was a drug addict"; "The holocaust survivors have lived a nightmare"; "I lived through two divorces" · Go through (mental or physical states or experiences); "Get an idea"; "Experience vertigo"; "Get nauseous"; "Receive injuries"; "Have a feeling" · The accumulation of knowledge or skill that results from direct participation in events or activities; "A man of experience"; "Experience is the ... “· Feel: Undergo an emotional sensation or be in a particular state of mind; "She felt resentful"; "He felt regret". · Have: Undergo; "The stocks had a fast run-up" · An event as apprehended; "A surprising experience"; "That painful experience certainly got our attention" .
Finally, after a lifetime of consciously relying on and living in the confusion of relying on my past experience to direct my every move; today, I am finally free. For me my past experiences are just that, they are from the past, meaning they only have merit when l I reach in and stir them up and take one out. As I have grown into a man I have learned the only time I really need to recall my experiences is when I bring them up from the depths of my mind for the purpose of using them as learning tools or to evoke feelings of love and joy. It seems pretty dangerous to use them for bragging rights as they usually tend to be used to validate and build my ego. Today I dwell more in the experience of the moment, as it seems to me, it’s really the only place that I am really sure I can validate the experience of what is happening right now and it’s the only one I really have a 100% certainty it’s happening… Woops there goes that experience “said it, done it been there”. Don’t get me wrong I am not saying experiences are not important. I do accept the philosophy of John Dewey, that all past experiences influence our future experiences. I just know if you dwell on any of them good, bad or indifferent you get stuck. Just plain stuck, like one of those dolls that you pull the string and it talks, but is short on vocabulary. What I like to keep in mind, so I won’t lose my mind is simply that the contents of experience are the "what’s" and the conditions of experience and the "how’s". The ‘what’s’ are not as controllable as the ‘how’s’. As my Dad would say, “Son it’s not the problem that’s the problem it’s how you are looking at the problem –take a new look”. So, my last thought on experience is to live in the moment. Love yourself enough to forgive yourself and others for the bad experiences that you or they may have created and start this very moment bringing about a better you and a better world as you filter your “hows” through love and forgiveness.
The Real Power
This is one I really have a difficult time touching on. It seems to me the statement “Power Corrupts and Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely” has real merit. I continue to find that I see myself so differently until I see myself through the lens of a video camera. My first thoughts are “that can’t be me”! Has this ever happen to you?
As I reflect on power and why it was important to me I realize the truth is I was afraid of my own weakness, afraid to look deep inside and finding out that I was nothing more than a scared little boy on the roller coaster of life and once I left the amusement park I would have no place to call home. I was sure, I would succeed and grow rich as long as I believed I had power and through my power the world would recognize me and I would not be left alone. Even when I was down I pretended to be the best the most powerful self I could be. Yes, power was my shield from experiencing pain associated with seeing the real me. What I am learning in this life, is that it is the only one I have and it’s truly a gift. I am not the author of this life, nor will I be the finisher. I cannot create nor can I take away the sorrow nor heal the pains of this life by acting powerful; It’s only by my acknowledging and accepting of who I am, a human being who did not get to choose where, when, how or to whom he was to be born. That is when I became free to just be me and accept with gratitude my place on this planet. The one thing I do have power over is how I perceive my place in this world. Today I know the only real power is in serving my fellowman and remembering my life was not earned by me, it was given to me, so whatever transpires is what it should be and whether its genetic disposition or the signs in the sky I am and that is enough. For power wielded in a wrongful manner, I want to deeply apologize to especially my estranged wife, my first wife, my children, family, friends, business associates, employees and whomever has been injured by my ignorance of power and how it can corrupt our souls. Again I deeply apologize and hope you will heal from any and all the wounds I have inflicted.
The Real Business
It seems like my whole life has been wrapped up in the belief that business was the only way a Red Blooded American could succeed; And now that I am taking a moment to reflect on my life and digging down, stirring up and taking out some of my experiences and reflect on them in the light of “how” instead of why the answer smack me right in face.
Even at the young age of four years old I can remember my grandfather, father, and other male family members and friends whispering among themselves asking each other what they will do if they are laid off or fired? They talked about unions and strikes and for some reason the word strike always put a chill up my spine. I guess even at as young boy I knew if my father was laid off, fired, or the union went on strike our household would not be a happy place anymore. Yes, I saw their faces light up as I listened to them speak of their dreams of what it was going to be like and how they would finally have power over their own destiny when they finally owned a business of their own. It was going to be like heaven to them they would finally be free from the fears and powerlessness that goes hand-in-hand with “working for the man”. A few succeeded in breaking their chains, but their businesses were under funded and failed. Most of them never even really did anything except join a multi-level business or do side work. All have either gone to their graves or have settled for small retirements, never having crossed over to what they believed were the greener pastures of owning one’s own business.
Ahhh…The McDonalds & Kentucky Fried Chicken Dream – I still can hear the excitement in my parents voices as they tried to figure out how to get into a McDonalds or KFC. They dreamed and schemed and I’m not sure, but they may have even submitted applications. I remember they became disheartened when they could not get enough money together to own one of those franchises. I along with them believed we could just pack up all our troubles and skip down the yellow brick road and arrive in Emerald City, before the boogie man got us. No such luck, raising and supporting 3 kids took all they had and the extra money to live their dream just never came their way.
As I grew in to my teens, I can clearly hear myself saying, “I will never in a million years work for ‘the’ man”. I was going to do it differently and I would help my family, friends and fellowmen break their chains and get into their own businesses as well.
Surprise –Being “the man” is not as wonderful as I thought and that brings me back to my opening statement. “I’ve the education, the experience and the power now all I need is a business to so I can live the American Dream”.
Well I did what I said I would do and did everything in my power not to have to work for anyone else and to be the boss and own a business. Every business I ended up owning or having percentage of ownership in or businesses that were already going but were usually on the verge of failure. Owners and stockholders brought me in and promised me a piece of the action if I could do what we in the business world call “stop the bleeding” and turn the business back in to a profitable entity. Everyday was painful, as I was now the guy that people were whispering about and were afraid I would lay them off or fire them. I had become my most hated persona “the man”. I justified what I had to do as “The American way” and the business had to survive so owners could prosper, investors profit and employees remain employed. Funny thing, when I was about to do this I had to make a lot of peoples live miserable by making personnel cutbacks and benefit cut backs so I could financially drive the company forward and increase sales all at the same time. Talk about intense work. My partners and investors usually loved me but employees feared me. Sometimes government regulators would come gunning for me. In one instance I ended up getting control of a large chunk of an insurance company that was really in a mess. I thought I understood the business but within weeks of taking claim of my stock, A partner disappeared and I ended up paying out thousands of dollars in fines and having to give up a license I had never gotten to used. It forced me to sell the company for pennies on the dollar and if that loss was not enough I was written about and called a “Master of Deceit”. Funny how being in the wrong place at the right time can ruin your reputation; And my Dad thought owning a business was like going to heaven, more like hell if you asked me then. What is that saying about greener grass of the other side of the fence. It is true that we live and learn. We don’t learn and live until much later in life when sometimes we feel it is too late.
No matter what the circumstance I found myself feeling lost and unhappy and it didn’t matter whether the business was doing well or failing. Days turned into months, months into years and every year I became more and more dissatisfied with the “American Dream”.
Finally in 2002, I felt I had found a business in which I could really make a difference. It was a women’s health and fitness franchise. Their health and wellness philosophies were in line with my beliefs. I did not know it, but I had cancer when I took on the consulting job. I was popping 20-30 pain killers a day to keep the pain in my neck and ear under control. I had been using over the counter pain meds to deal with the pain for almost two years and had been to several doctors who had given me several different misdiagnoses. Anyway this was another “Stop the Bleeding and Turn-Around the Business” consulting job. I had not planned on being a partner, and I was actually positioning myself for ownership in a communications company. But when it was offered to me in early 2002, especially without having to put up any money, I gladly accepted. Come to find out, in reality the stock was given to me because each partner had thought they could power-up over the other by bringing me to their side to use my voting shares in support their agenda. Anyway the business was in shambles and during my first week on the job the partners were so frustrated with each other they almost came to blows and even changed out the locks on each other. Sounds funny, but that’s how frustrating business can be, turning civilized grown men into raging maniacs. To make a long story short I was able to stop the bleeding, turn the company around, pay back the investors, put money in the owner’s pockets and obtain a nice share of the business. Thing were going along really well, we had expanded our product lines and were now offering a line of vitamins and supplements, along with spray tans and body wraps, most of the franchises were building their businesses and that was a good thing.
Cancer Is Confirmed
Just before Christmas of 2003, I found out I had an advanced form of head and neck cancer. In a matter of 72 hours I was bought out, which enabled me to focus on the healing process that took every waking moment of mine and my wife’s attention. I want to innerject, I would have not ever made it through the cancer without my wife’s help. Though we are apart and divorcing I will always be thankful to her for helping me make it through a disease that I would most likely not been able to come out of without her support and care. While I was fighting my cancer, the partners went back to fighting with each other, but this time they were not just locking each other out of offices they were suing each other. There was nothing I could do to control the outbreak as I no longer had ownership. I could only sit and watch the business spiral out of control. They sold out for pennies on the dollar and instead of the million plus owed to me, I ended up with a few thousand dollars, lawsuits, no insurance and personal debt. Are you sure you still want to be in business?
Why I Left the Business World - When It Rains It Pours
After finally being healed of my cancer in the fall of 2004, I suddenly found myself alive and not sure why. Like most cancer survivors, I didn’t know what to do with myself each day, or how I was suppose to live out the remainder of my life. Though I did not show any more signs of cancer, I was absolutely exhausted and would need several months of physical therapy to be able to get back on my feet and be able to take care of myself. I was pretty much a broken man physically, financially relationally and spiritually. My marriage was in tatters, my fault not hers, judge me as you will. This is so very personal for me. To comment further serves no purpose. The Cancer battle was expensive as we had decided to approach it from and allopathic and a holistic approach. I believe it saved my life, but by the time we came out of the cancer, I say we, meaning my wife & I and the family and friends who gave my wife and I prayers and support, we had to move from our home into a smaller one and we had hocked, sold or lost everything we had worked for.
I was physically weak, financially broke and had no prospects for a job, or financial recovery to start a company. I lost friends, as that happens when you are sick with terminal cancer. I lost past investors, as who would invest in a guy they were not sure would even be alive in 6 months. My life seemed rather hopeless though I was thankful for my healing and coming out of the cancer. I still felt like I was in a car on a foggy, rainy road and was sliding sideways out of control. As I look back I realize now I was in absolute depression. All seemed lost and my prospects of owning a business or even consulting seemed slim to none.
I was so thankful when a friend whom I had only seen once during my cancer recovery, but had consulted for on other projects, invited me to come and meet the owner of a business in Florida. Thus began the Java Joz, Cuppy’s, Medina Saga and my move to Destin, FL.
When I got into the company I worked diligently to analyze the company and work on the turn around. The company was on the verge of going out of business.
To start there were dozens of customers without real estate sites to place buildings and more people who didn’t have their financing in place. The company that was handling the real estate was not doing its job and left the customers to do the search themselves and then milking the commissions if they were able to find a site, which at the time was almost impossible without paying top dollar. The person doing the financing was a broker who charged an upfront fee and did little to assist the new coffee store owners. I was emotionally invested in this company to the point that I purchased the company from someone who was preoccupied with IRS complications from 10 years previous. It took a year to provide the company with the resources and services I thought it needed to accomplish its goals across the entire USA. It takes a long time to fix something that didn’t break over night.
Then the bottom fell out when banks pulled back their financing and SBA loan qualifications were increased. The worst part was the wedge put into the mix from the Unhappyfranchisee.com blog site bashing our every move as we worked non stop to stop the bleeding. This site’s objective is to bash franchises that have the smallest of hiccups to devastating pitfalls. It is a site where Sean Kelley makes money using his time and energy to bash other people with assumptions and accusations all of which make the worried franchisees scared. Of course people need to be aware and be concerned, but not by a stranger adding fuel to the fire for their personal financial benefit. Of course things got rough, but when you have someone antagonizing your people it makes it hard to work as a team. I was exhausted working very long hours 7 days a week doing everything in my power to keep this business afloat. We moved the Real Estate in house, we did in house financing and we even set up an in house refund pool for people who wanted to get out of the business. Unfortunately, there was not enough money to bail us all out and there wasn’t enough knowledge and energy within myself to stop the bleeding alone. After serious salary cut backs and high emotions within the company, I took up an offer from a consultant for help. After several months of working and assisting in directing day to day operations of the company he offered me a buyout. I was told that the only was he could save the company was if I gave him ownership as he had promised he could bring in investors without me on board. My reputation was ruined due to my inability to carry the company alone but mostly due from the defamation of character by Sean Kelley and Unhappyfranchisee.com. I knew that I could not do it alone so I sold the company. I did not make my money back at that time and the reason was there wasn’t enough cash for a buyout, to complete construction and finance the refund pool, there was enough for operations with the cut backs.
In April of 2008 I sold my interest in the company in which I had invested all my money, time and talent. I made the sale to a person who had been a lead consultant and business mentor, who promised me that if I sold the company to him he would be able to stop the blogs and get the business back in the black. I made the sale on a promise of being paid for the assets and values over an extended period of time. At the time value of the business was hard to determine, but selling it for three million including interest would give me and the other, major stock holder who had twenty-five percent interest, a chance to work on projects where we would not have to be working 60 -70 hours a week. On top of this I was exhausted, not fully recovered and my partner was past sixty-five and really wanted to leave the stress of the business world behind.
So here I am today - I too am one of the losers and one of the people who lost their fortunes. Am I the scammer? No, I am just a hard working man who could not stop the bleeding in a company that I thought I could. Did I do anything wrong, illegal or unethical while I worked with that company? No, I did not even have authorization to sign checks, alone. So now if you or anyone else doubts me and my scam to make money through business ventures by ‘taking’ from people rethink who is doing this and why. I am the one who is out three million dollars along with many others who are out in their personal investments as well. I do not own a beach condo, drive a Jaguar nor do I have any assets. I lost my life and so much more, just as much as the others involved in this company. If anyone else could go in and fix it then they should have stood up and taken it on. I did not sabotage the company nor did I gain financially. I lost just as the rest of you. The only person gaining here is the guy on Unhappyfranchisee, Sean Kelley, by using his site. He is the one benefiting from the loss of our investments, our dreams and your passions.
I hope that you are like me and continue to work toward your passion and have faith that with the help of God you will make it. My passion is Raw food and teaching. I may not have been good at being a business owner, or being a husband, or even being a father or friend but now I am going to succeed in walking with God and sharing what I know works. My passion is in healing with raw foods, teaching others how to survive disease through a raw food diet while adding meditation and easing the stress of life and increasing their spiritual being. That is my true American Dream!
Update 8/24/09 - I know Sean Kelley & the Unhappyfranchisee bloggers will dissect this post and post the pieces and parts they wants on his site and across the Internet. I do understand their anger and frustration and their need to express their hurt. I know there is pain and suffering from losses incurred by many. I also know it is personal and each of us has days when we to want to scream out our anger and for some talking about it on the Internet helps to get through the pain.
I have chosen not to answer the slanderous allegation on Sean Kelley's site. I learned long ago that you can not resolve a persons' anger until they decide they no longer want to be angry. I have chosen a road of forgiveness toward those, who in ignorance and self service, use the Internet to prompt others to express their personal and financial pain. My family, friends and myself have been subjected to the half truths, lies and slander which has been propagated across websites owned by Sean Kelly and his business partners, both formal and informal. So to deal with such intentional hateful actions I must choose one of two road, one road is hate and the other is love. I have chosen to forgiving those who have hurt me and I choose to love. As part of my forgiving them, yes even Sean Kelly, I also ask for forgiveness for not being a better businessman and for not taking better care of myself physically, so that I would have been healthier and not have become too exhausted to handle all the operations of the businesses. I apologize for selling the business to a person I thought could be trusted and one who could do a better job than myself. I apologize to the franchisees who have suffered losing so much of their lives. I apologize to the 100+ employees who poured out their hearts, and were left without jobs. I apologize to the investors who lost their investments. If I had the means to help each of those who lost while under my direction and ownership I would do everything I could without a second thought. I too lost just as each of you.
Know that I have written this for you, my family, my friends, readers and those who have lost so much and are suffering. And as I have said before it was not my intention to take from, hurt, or cause undue pain to anyone in my life. And for what every offense known and unknown I apologize. May each of you find peace.
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Posted By Rawman Walking to Living Raw And Free at 8/20/2009 04:14:00 PM