Stephen Covey Seven Habits

[Mahmod Ohner]

The7 Habits of Highly Effective People, first published in 1989, is a business and self-help book written by Stephen R. Covey.[1] The book goes over his ideas on how to spur and nurture personal change, such as his thinking about effectiveness as a relationship between desired results and caring for that which produces results, his argument for the character ethic rather than the personality ethic, or his articulation of principles versus values. As named, his book is laid out through seven habits he has identified as conducive to personal growth.

The book is laid out through seven habits. Covey intends the first three as a means of achieving independence, the next three as a means of achieving interdependence, and the last, seventh habit as a means to maintain the previous.

Proactivity is about taking responsibility for one's reaction to one's own experiences, taking the initiative to respond positively and improve the situation. Covey postulates that "between stimulus and response lies your ability to choose" how to react, and that nothing can hurt a person without the person's consent. Covey discusses recognizing one's circle of influence and circle of concern. Covey discusses focusing one's responses and focusing on the center of one's influence.

Covey says that all things are created twice: Before one acts, one should act in one's mind first. Before creating something, measure twice. Do not just act; think first: Is this how I want it to go, and are these the correct consequences?

The order is important, says Covey: after completing items in quadrant I, people should spend the majority of their time on II, but many people spend too much time in III and IV. The calls to delegate and eliminate are reminders of their relative priority.

If habit 2 advises that "you are the programmer", habit 3 advises: "write the program, become a leader". Keep personal integrity by minimizing the difference between what you say versus what you do, says Covey.

Use empathetic listening to genuinely understand a person, which compels them to reciprocate the listening and take an open mind to be influenced. This creates an atmosphere of caring and positive problem-solving.

Covey says that one should balance and renew one's resources, energy, and health to create a sustainable, long-term, effective lifestyle. He primarily emphasizes exercise for physical renewal, good prayer, and good reading for mental renewal. He also mentions service to society for spiritual renewal.

Covey explains the "upward spiral" model. Through conscience, along with meaningful and consistent progress, an upward spiral will result in growth, change, and constant improvement. In essence, one is always attempting to integrate and master the principles outlined in The 7 Habits at progressively higher levels at each iteration. Subsequent development on any habit will render a different experience and one will learn the principles with a deeper understanding. The upward spiral model consists of three parts: learn, commit, do. According to Covey, one must continue consistently educating the conscience with increasing levels in order to grow and develop on the upward spiral. The idea of renewal by education will propel one along the path of personal freedom, security, wisdom, and power, says Covey.

Covey coined the term abundance mentality, or abundance mindset, a way of thinking in which a person believes there are enough resources and successes to share with others.[2] He contrasts it with the scarcity mindset (i.e., destructive and unnecessary competition), which is founded on the idea that if someone else wins or is successful in a situation, it means "you lose", because you are not considering the possibility of all parties "winning" in some way or another in a given situation.

Individuals having an abundance mentality seek win-win scenarios, avoiding the notion of zero-sum games, and are able to celebrate the success of others, rather than feel threatened by them.[3] The author contends that the abundance mentality arises from having a high self-worth and security (see habits 1, 2, and 3), and leads to the sharing of profits, recognition and responsibility. Similarly, organizations may also apply an abundance mentality when doing business.[4]

Stephen's son, Sean Covey, wrote a version of the book for teens, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens (1998), which simplifies the 7 habits for younger readers to make them easier to understand. He also published The 6 Most Important Decisions You Will Ever Make: A Guide for Teens (2006), which highlights key times in the life of a teen and gives advice on how to deal with them, and The 7 Habits of Happy Kids (2008), a children's book illustrated by Stacy Curtis that further simplifies the 7 habits for children and teaches them through stories with anthropomorphic animal characters.[10]

During his 25 years of working with successful individuals in business, universities, and relationship settings, Stephen Covey discovered that high-achievers were often plagued with a sense of emptiness. In an attempt to understand why, he read several self-improvement, self-help, and popular psychology books written over the past 200 years. It was here that he noticed a stark historical contrast between two types of success.

Interdependence is a more mature, advanced concept. It precludes the knowledge that you are an independent being, but that working with others will produce greater results than working on your own. To attain this level of interdependence, you must cultivate each of the seven habits laid out in the book. The seven habits are as follows:

The clearest manifestation of proactivity can be seen in your ability to stick to the commitments you make to yourself and to others. This includes a commitment to self-improvement and, by extension, personal growth. By setting small goals and sticking to them, you gradually increase your integrity, which increases your ability to take responsibility for your life. Covey suggests undertaking a 30-day proactivity test in which you make a series of small commitments and stick to them. Observe how this changes your sense of self.

To better understand this habit, Covey invites you to imagine your funeral. He asks you to think how you would like your loved ones to remember you, what you would like them to acknowledge as your achievements, and to consider what a difference you made in their lives. Engaging in this thought experiment helps you identify some of your key values that should underpin your behavior.

Accordingly, each day of your life should contribute to the vision you have for your life as a whole. Knowing what is important to you means you can live your life in service of what matters most. Habit two involves identifying old scripts that are taking you away from what matters most, and writing new ones that are congruent with your deepest values. This means that, when challenges arise, you can meet them proactively and with integrity, as your values are clear.

Whereas habit one encourages you to realize you are in charge of your own life, and habit two is based on the ability to visualize and to identify your key values, habit three is the implementation of these two habits. It focuses on the practice of effective self-management through independent will. By asking yourself the above questions, you become aware that you have the power to significantly change your life in the present.

The thread that ties all five of these points together is that the focus is on improving relationships and results, not on maximizing your time. This shares sentiments with Tim Ferris who, in The 4-Hour Work Week, argues that time management is a deeply flawed concept.

At its core, synergy is a creative process that requires vulnerability, openness, and communication. It means balancing the mental, emotional, and psychological differences between a group of people and, in doing so, creating new paradigms of thought between the group members. This is where creativity is maximized. Synergy is effectiveness as an interdependent reality. This involves teamwork, team building, and the creation of unity with other human beings.

However, a positive effect of sharpening your saw in one dimension is that it has a knock-on positive effect in another, due to them being interrelated. For instance, by focusing on your physical health, you inadvertently improve your mental health, too. This, in turn, creates an upward spiral of growth and change that helps you to become increasingly self-aware. Moving up the spiral means you must learn, commit, and do increasingly more as you move upwards and progressively become a more efficient individual.

One of my mentors, Stephen Covey, passed away this week. No book, other than the Scriptures, has had a more significant impact on my life than his The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. The 7 Habits is more than a business book or a self-help book. It is a book about how to be a better human being in all areas of life. And what made it even more impactful for those who knew Stephen is that he modeled what he taught.

Of all of the seven habits, none has changed my life more than Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood. As a husband and father, leader, teacher, and friend, the skill of listening with empathy has not only made me more effective, it has transformed relationships.

Indeed, listening with our whole being is so imperative and challenging given the American culture of self-gratification, multi-tasking, self-indulgence and excess stimulus from an array of electronic devices.

I agree with your thoughts on what a great teacher Covey was. His unique humble and articulate appoach to sharing insight with others is rare.

My hope are those people who studied under him will go out into this world and make a positive contribution we so very much need in this independent vs. inter-dependent world.

We will miss him.

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