[Radiant Living] Conscious Choices: Saying "Yes" Even When Its a Little Scary

[Emerge Healing]

by Megan Woolever

Last year I was given an opportunity to contribute a chapter to a women's anthology "Conscious Choices: An Evolutionary Woman's Guide to Life." Being a writer, I immediately knew that I wanted to contribute a chapter, however I also knew that the chapter that was wanting to be written was about a subject that was both powerful and vulnerable for me, Sex. I knew that to write this chapter I would need to plumb the depths of my soul and write something from my heart, not just rattle off a list of painful experiences or tittilating adventures. To be an Evolutionary Woman writing about sex, I needed to write something that had soul, something that was true, authentic, real.

So taking a big breath I began to write. I dove in and allowed myself to write without judgement or censor. My story in all its pain, rawness and yearning began to emerge. The story of how my search for love had led me through much darkness and times of despair. How I tried to find love in all the wrong places, with all the wrong people, and for all the wrong reasons. Ultimately the story led to how this search for love taught me to love myself, and through that self-love I found a partner with whom I now co-create a spiritual (and sexual) partnership.

It came as a total surprise to me that the writing process itself was quite easy. My story had wanted to be told for awhile, and was just waiting for permission to speak. What I couldn't foresee, and what has ultimately been the most difficult part of this process, has been what has happened after the story has gone public.

All of a sudden I feel a little bit like I'm naked in public. I realize that anyone can potentially read that story...ex-lovers, family, coworkers, clients. Anyone and everyone now has access to parts of me that I previously held quite private. Now its not like I wrote a tell all expose with lots of salacious details about my sex life, no those kinds of books these days are a dime a dozen. What I wrote about is infinitely more tender to me. I wrote about my inner journey, my longings, my beliefs and many times my fears around sex, relationships and love.

The goal of our little book was to bear witness, to allow ourselves and our journeys, sometimes pretty, sometimes not, to be seen, known, and celebrated. Our truths are being told so that other women can find themselves in these stories. I said "Yes" to this project because even though it was my edge, one of the scariest things I could think of to do, the thought of not doing it was even scarier. When life gives you an opportunity to make a difference, playing small and hiding because you are afraid is the opposite of personal growth, it is personal death. If just one woman reads my story and seeing herself says, "If she can do it, so can I!" then it was all worth it.

For I have come to realize that when I courageously step up to the plate and take an evolutionary leap forward, its makes it that much easier for the next person to do the same. And so it is with much joy and gratitude that I invite you to purchase our book and read my story, Deep Longing: A Sexual Evolution, along with the stories of my evolutionary sisters in "Conscious Choices: An Evolutionary Woman's Guide to Life." May my words kindle in you the memory of your deepest longings and make clear the steps you can take to achieving them.

Purchase a copy of Conscious Choices on Amazon

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Posted By Emerge Healing to Radiant Living at 12/28/2008 05:06:00 PM