Atomic. Kitten

[Albertina Drybread]

Howgratifying it has been to see Kerry Katona back on stage, and away from frozen food commercials. Indeed, the journey travelled - emotionally, mentally and physically - by these fine young women, translates directly into the raw power of their live performance; the tinny beats of antiquated backing tracks transcended by true, unadulterated talent.Atoms can be split, and kittens can run away. How lucky we are that Atomic Kitten have been made... whole again.

This small and cute furball looks just like any normal kitten, except for its eyes that have mutated into atomic symbols that warn predators of its bombshell nature. The rest of the Atomic Kitten's physical appearance, however, serves as a trap to lure helpless victims, both monsters and heroes. It turns these victims into mindless slaves that fulfill its every whim and are used to assert the Atomic Kitten's dominance over other beings.

Once there was a genius scientist who decided he hated the world and invented the very first atomic bomb in Godville. When the brave heroes of Godville heard what the scientist has done, they confronted him and told him that the world hated him too. The scientist was so distraught he died of grief right there and then. The heroes celebrated their victory and went to the closest tavern they could find, completely forgetting about the atomic bomb they left standing and ready to launch in the middle of the town.

Years passed, and heroes continued questing, monsters continued attacking, and goddesses continued influencing their heroes and heroines. No one remembered the scientist or danger of the atomic bomb he built. Until one devastating day when a simple alley cat decided to strut around the atomic bomb, looking for anything to feed itself. The bomb was leaking, and the cat found the liquid to be delicious. Everyday she came back to it to drink the liquid, not knowing that it was slowly changing her into something different. The cat became terminally ill, but right before her death, she gave birth to a litter of kittens with atomic symbols for eyes. Thus, the Atomic Kitten was born.

The physical appearance of is very similar to a typical alley cat, except for the yellow atomic eyes. However that is where the similarities end. Studies show that Atomic Kittens have large amounts of uranium particles in their blood. Their hearts have double the heart rate of a normal alley cat and are found to have a plutonium core. Their digestive system has a higher metabolic rate and they do not excrete any waste.

Their diet consists of anything that emits radiation. Atomic Kittens can survive without food for a few days as long as they remain under the sun where natural radiation occurs. Their biology shows they have no need for water. In fact, water hinders their digestion.

An Atomic Kitten never grows to be an atomic cat. Once it hits puberty, the radiation in its body becomes so great that the uranium particles and plutonium core will cause an atomic explosion, consuming everything in the immediate area. No Atomic Kitten has ever been recorded to reach adulthood.

As for reproduction, Atomic Kittens have no ability whatsoever to create life in an ordinary way. The organic aspects of reproduction were completely removed when they mutated. This does not hinder them from adding to their numbers since Atomic Kittens are able to "reproduce" through their deaths. Once an Atomic Kitten explodes, it triggers an automatic reaction that bonds anything organic to surrounding particles; this process only takes about one to three seconds. It is from the explosion's radiation and debris that a new litter of Atomic Kittens are "born". This new litter will consume all remaining radiation and debris from the surrounding area, Hence why no bodies are ever recovered from the death of an Atomic Kitten.

Atomic Kittens, like normal cats, like grassy environments. They tend to stay in grassy knolls where the sun is high and natural radiation can occur. In rare cases, they can be seen near places with natural hot springs, near transform faults in deserts and near erupting volcanoes. Because these places have little to no grass at all, only a few Atomic Kittens make it their home.

On the other hand, Atomic Kittens hate forests, underground caves, houses, or anywhere where the sun doesn't shine. Low altitude and cold climates also hinder their digestion. They also loathe places with a lot of water, such as snow or rain.

Atomic Kittens are solitary beings. They tend to keep to themselves, especially when they're in a bad mood. They like to sleep, eat and laze around all day, similar to other cats. They see themselves as gods, superior to other beings.

They are manipulative creatures, capable of making anyone, even the greatest of heroes, into their mindless slave. Atomic Kittens will make themselves look innocent, give empty promises and take everything you have, including your soul. They don't discriminate between monsters and heroes. If you're not an Atomic Kitten, you're fair play. For this reason, both monsters and heroes generally despise them.

Atomic Kittens are sociable only with their own kind, forming close communities, despite an inclination toward solitude. In the wild, they tend to stick together when fighting predators and hunting prey. Every Atomic Kitten thinks it should be the Alpha kitten; after constant disagreement and infighting, they finally decided not to have an Alpha leader at all. The ones with the most slaves are considered to be the strongest in their communities and are considered royalty by other Atomic Kittens.

Despite an often cruel and terrible nature, Atomic Kittens have strong maternal instincts. When they see a litter of newly mutated Atomic Kittens, they tend to care for them as their own, teaching them the ways of their kind and how to subdue other creatures.

Emotions have a very unique affect on Atomic Kittens. Their eyes change into spinning atoms when they are feeling any strong emotion. In addition, strong emotions that make their heart race puts them at risk of exploding prematurely. Once, a hero surprised a sleeping Atomic Kitten. The startled kitten awoke with a racing heart and wasn't able to control its emotions when it saw the hero, exploding right there and then. Luckily, the hero's god was observing and resurrected him promptly.

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