QOD 2/19/15

[John Miller]

What's your feelings about relapse? Are those folks just not ready yet? Do the courts often send us folks who aren't ready? 

[Matthew Hamilton]

My experience is we all came in with a gun to our head, even if we walked in voluntarily on our own accord. 

Yes, the courts are likely sending those who aren't ready. Yes, rehabs are likely sending those who aren't ready. But, there are some who are ready and are just waiting for their moment of clarity, just like we all had. 

I came to my first meeting (rather it came to me) when I was 15 and involuntarily in an in-patient rehab. No, I didn't stay clean when I left rehab. But, a seed was planted. I remembered the kind and loving folks that came in and HUGGED me when I was real down and out. When I was ready to get clean, I knew exactly where to go, and I went, and I stayed, and that's been some years ago.

I spent 12 years in and out of the rooms, experiencing various amounts of clean time, some significant. My feelings of my own relapse are I had reservations, not necessarily an event I must use behind, but I wouldn't surrender, and I thought I could still hold on to pieces of "my way". When I got clean this time, I was epically whooped. I surrendered, and I regularly inventory my level of surrender today to stay vigilant for complacency, self-will, and reservations. 

I find it very dangerous to attempt to predict another addicts "readiness". This can definitely put separation between another addict who needs what I received and still receive in the rooms, and myself. If someone relapses, they obviously weren't ready for something: to surrender, to actively participate in their program, to forgive and let go of resentments, to get honest, something. But that doesn't mean they are not ready to be clean.

Have a great day, everyone!

Matthew

Sent from my iPhone

On Feb 19, 2015, at 7:38 AM, John Miller <jonn...@comcast.net> wrote:

What's your feelings about relapse? Are those folks just not ready yet? Do the courts often send us folks who aren't ready? 

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[Pittman, Jonathan W]

Thankfully relapse has not been a part of my recovery (except the relapse I experienced every day in active addiction), but addiction is a powerful, cunning, and baffling disease that tries to tell me I don’t have a disease, so I can see why it is easy to relapse.  However, once in the rooms, I never had to use again, but I had used for 25 years prior to that and there was no way I was going to stop using until I was ready and I definitely think there is a lot to that with other addicts, they are not going to get clean until they are ready, and some are never ready.   I do believe that the courts often send folks that are not ready.  Some have stayed in the rooms but the majority do not.

 

Love,

Jon P.

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[bill...@aol.com]

Thankfully a personal Relapse is not a part of my story. I have however had several sponsees and close friends in the Fellowship whose stories include one or more of them, Usually preceded by a lack of step work, meeting attendace, an increase in self centeredness, and an abundance of self will or the " I got This " attitude. I believe that I was Totally ready to surrender and give up the fight when I went for 32 days in Fairbanks. I also know that I spent the next 3 1/2 years simply going to meetings and working the program MY way. I'm very fortunate I didn't relapse during that time because I was mentally screwed up and not medicating those feelings in any way. I learned my lessons well because of this I guess and it made me more aware of this behavior in others.

The courts send us all those Dope fiends that are smart enough to want a way out of Jail or prison and as long as that consequence remains they work at recovery and go through the motions and Denial that they have a problem usually remains in play. Some stick aorund long enough to get it Most don't but hopefully we get to plant that seed for when they need it IF they make it back.

ODAT

Bill Robbins