3rd May 2007

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Gadzooks!

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May 3, 2007, 12:00:18 AM5/3/07
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Pure Gadzooks!
Contact owner : gadzook...@hotmail.com (or reply to this email)
 
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go to www.asimenia.com and use the live online chat button!
 
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I put a lot of time and hard work into bringing Pure Gadzooks to you daily!
Please show your appreciation by buying something advertised on the newsletter. Show your thanks and get great items at even greater prices!
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WELCOME!!!
You have opted to join a  CLEAN newsletter! Funny pictures/cartoons for all the family!
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Today's Joke:
 
How to photograph a puppy
 

1. Remove film from box and load camera.

2. Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.

3. Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle.

4. Choose a suitable background for photo.

5. Mount camera on tripod and focus.

6. Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.

7. Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.

8. Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.

9. Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand.

10. Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.

11. Take flash cube from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.

12. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose.

13. Put magazines back on coffee table.

14. Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head.

15. Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.

16. Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say, "No,outside! No, outside!"

17. Clean up mess.

18. Fix a drink.

19. Sit back in Lazy Boy with drink and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" the first thing in the morning.

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Bee - Bop Kids Clothes
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A young mother was riding the bus with her four year old boy when he suddenly blurted out so that everyone in the bus could hear, "Look mom, see that man's nose? It looks soooo funny!"

The mother was quite embarrassed and scolded her son. Then she whispered to him that if there was something he wanted to say about someone then he had to wait until they got home or at least where nobody could hear them, so that nobody would be sad.

A moment later the boy blurted out in the same loud voice, "Look mom, we've got to talk about that big fat lady when we get home!"
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Old Sam Johnson goes to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body. After a thorough examination, the doctor gives him a clean bill of health.

"Sam, you're in excellent shape for an 85 year old man. But I'm not a magician - I can't make you any younger," says the doctor.

"Who asked you to make me younger?" says Sam. "You just make sure I get older!"
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3 bone china cartoon cow mugs
UK: £12.99 inc postage
USA: $33.00 includes postage from UK
Europe:26.00 EURO inc post
 
 
A clergyman, walking down a country lane, saw a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.

"You look tired, my son," said the cleric. "Why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand."

"No thanks," said the young man. "My father wouldn't approve."

"Don't be silly," the minister said. "Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water."

Again the young man protested that his father would be upset.

Losing his patience just a little, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!"

"Well," replied the young farmer, "you can tell him whatever you like just as soon as I get this hay off him."
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An arrogant Department of Agriculture (DOA) representative stopped at a farm and talked with the old farmer. "I need to inspect your farm."

The old farmer said, "You better not go in that field."

The Agricultural representative said in a wise tone, "I have the authority of the U.S. Government with me. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on agricultural land."

So the old farmer went about his farm chores.

Later, the farmer heard loud screams. He saw the DOA rep running for the fence, and close behind was the farmer's prize bull.

The bull was madder than a nest full of hornets and was gaining at every step.

The old farmer called out: "Show him your card!"
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For more ezines, visit:
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Today's links
 
Jokeworm's Random Quote
http://www.jokeworm.com/quotes/
Jokeworm's Random Cute Pic
http://www.jokeworm.com/cutepics/
Jokeworm's Random Fact.
http://www.jokeworm.com/facts/
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Pure Gadzooks Shop!
Genuine Shell - sterling silver ring
sizes 8 9
FREE shipping
$18.99 (£8.99)
 
 
need to contact the owner?
Email not quick enough?
go to www.asimenia.com and use the live online chat button!
 
Pure Gadzooks Ebay Auctions (click links below)
JEWELRY SENT  WORLDWIDE
 
Jayne's useless GIF!
 
 
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Have a great day!
Be good to each other and ..... smile!
Jayne.
 
 
http://www.tazbar.com/search/search.aspx?seller=ASIMENIA
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