22nd March 2007
Gadzooks!
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"This place," the guide told them, "is 600 years old. Not a stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced in all those years."
"Wow," said one woman dryly, "they must have the same landlord I do."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A New York boy was being led through the swamps of Louisiana by his cousin.
"Is it true that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight ?"
The cousin smirked and replied, "Depends on how fast ya carry the flashlight."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
An oral surgeon was scheduled to extract four wisdom teeth from Jim, a
high-school football player, who had opted to be sedated for the procedure. As
the intravenous anesthesia was being administered, the doctor asked Jim how he
was feeling.
"Man," he replied, struggling to keep his eyes open, "I
feel like I'm in English class."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A fellow, who frequently left the office to play golf, instructed his
secretary to tell all callers that he was away from his desk.
After he
left the office, a member of his foursome forgot which course they were playing
that day, and called for information. The loyal girl would only reply that her
boss was away from his desk.
"Just tell me," the golfer persisted, "Is
he five miles away from his desk, twenty miles away from his desk, or thirty
miles away from his desk?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At 3:00 a.m. the young wife shook her husband awake, telling him to check the
baby.
He sat up for a full minute listening, then protested, "But I
don't hear her crying."
"I know." she replied, "It's your turn to go see
why not!"
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