2nd April 2007
Gadzooks!
Friends Luvin' Each
Other
This is where all friends come together for each
other offering advice and help and interesting
conversation. A friend is
someone true and for real, A friend is someone who really means a
great deal.
A friend won't hurt you, A friend won't lie. A friend will never say
good-bye.
A friend is there through the Good and bad, A friend is there to
cheer you up when you're sad.
A friend is always there with a shoulder to cry
on. We are a great bunch of people. We also
post poems and jokes as well as
freebies everyday no s/h please come join us
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Friendsluvineachother/
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Do You Like To Get Free Stuff In The Mail?
Join Our Free Stuff Group And We Will Send You Free Stuff
Offers
From Leading Manufacturers. Thats All We Do. We Look
For Things That Are
Free And We Send Them Out To Our Members.
Everything
Posted Is Free To Order. Fill Up Your
Mail Box With All Kinds Of Samples And
Great Deals.
A Freebie Empire (No Chat)
http://www.afreebieempire.com/subscribe.htm
She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.
One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the lavatory equipment.
A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on."
"Great idea, Honey," he smiled. "You can eat them straight out of the box."
After several failed attempts to get us to understand, he sighed and said, "Before, I was Hawkeye Pierce, but now I'm Frank Burns."
Expressions of understanding immediately lit the room.
I was commuting from the Borough of Queens to my job in Manhattan. I'd finished reading the morning paper and was saving it to bring to friends on the job. How do you save a newspaper on the subway? You sit on it. A new commuter came in, saw the newspaper under my rear and asked the second most stupid question I've ever heard (someday I may tell of the first), "Are you reading that paper?" I stood up, turned the page, sat down on the paper and answered, "Yes."
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Rules for Dogs Who have a Yard to Protect
NEWSPAPERS: If you have to go to the bathroom while playing in the front yard, always use the newspaper that's placed in the driveway every morning for that purpose.
VISITORS: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge across the room, barking loudly and leap playfully on this person. If the human falls down on the floor and starts crying, lick its face and growl gently to show your concern.
BARKING: Because you are a dog, you are expected to bark. So bark--- a lot. Your owners will be very happy to hear you protecting their house. Especially late at night while they are sleeping safely in their beds. There is no more secure feeling for a human than to keep waking up in the middle of the night and hearing your protective bark, bark, bark ...
LICKING: Always take a BIG drink from your water dish immediately before licking your human. Humans prefer clean tongues. Be ready to fetch your human a towel.
HOLES: Rather than digging a BIG hole in the middle of the yard and upsetting your human, dig a lot of smaller holes all over the yard so they won't notice. If you arrange a little pile of dirt on one side of each hole, maybe they'll hink it's gophers. There are never enough holes in the ground. Strive daily to do your part to help correct this problem.
DOORS: The area directly in front of a door is always reserved for the family dog to sleep.
THE ART OF SNIFFING: Humans like to be sniffed. Everywhere. It is your duty, as the family dog, to accommodate them.
DINING ETIQUETTE: Always sit under the table at dinner, especially when there are guests, so you can clean up any food that falls on the floor. It's also a good time to practice your sniffing.
HOUSEBREAKING: Housebreaking is very important to humans, so break as much of the house as possible.
GOING FOR WALKS: Rules of the road: When out for a walk with your human, never go to the bathroom on your own lawn.
COUCHES: It is perfectly permissible to lie on the new couch after all your humans have gone to bed.
PLAYING: If you lose your footing while chasing a ball or stick, use the flower bed to absorb your fall so you don't injure yourself.
CHASING CATS: When chasing cats, make sure you never --- quite --- catch them. It spoils all the fun.
CHEWING: Make a contribution to the fashion industry. ...Eat a shoe.
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From Jayne
http://www.myfavoriteezines.com
http://www.jokeworm.com/quotes/
Jokeworm's Random Cute Pic
http://www.jokeworm.com/cutepics/
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