19th Feb 2007

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Gadzooks!

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Feb 19, 2007, 1:16:08 AM2/19/07
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Pure Gadzooks!
Contact owner : gadzook...@hotmail.com (or reply to this email)
 
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I put a lot of time and hard work into bringing Pure Gadzooks to you daily!
Please show your appreciation by buying something advertised on the newsletter. Show your thanks and get great items at even greater prices!
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Today's Joke:

The following advertisement appeared in a physical culture magazine:

"Here's a good test for stomach muscles. Clasp your hands over your head and place your feet together on the floor. Now bend to the right at the waist as you sit down to the left of your feet. Now by sheer muscular control, haul yourself up, bend to the left and sit down on the floor to the right of your feet. Keep this up and let us know of the result."

The first letter received by the magazine said "HERNIA"

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Two women were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said, "Seems like all we do is fight anymore. I've been so upset that I've lost twenty pounds."

"Why don't you just leave him?" asked the friend.

"Oh! Not yet," the first replied. "I'd like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first."

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A mother's four-year-old daughter was attending her first performance of the Ice Capades. She was so mesmerized that she wouldn't budge from her seat even during intermission, watching the activity while the ice was cleaned.

At the end of the show, she exclaimed, "I know what I want to be when I grow up!"

The mother envisioned her on the ice in another 15 years, starring in the Ice Capades.

She was brought back to earth when the daughter continued, "I want to be a zamboni driver!"

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Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and went into a store. I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I went up to him and said, "Come on, man, How about giving a retired person a break"? He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.

I called him a "Nazi." He glared at me and started writing another ticket for "having worn tires". So I called him a "member of the doughnut eating Gestapo." He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn't care. I came downtown on the bus.

I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired.

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While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had just finished washing the floor when one of the workmen asked to use the bathroom.

With dismay I looked from his muddy boots to my newly scrubbed floors. "Just a minute," I said, thinking of a quick solution. "I'll put down newspapers."

"That's all right, lady," he responded. "I'm already trained."
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For more ezines, visit:
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Today's links
 
Jokeworm's Random Quote
http://www.jokeworm.com/quotes/
Jokeworm's Random Cute Pic
http://www.jokeworm.com/cutepics/
Jokeworm's Random Fact.
http://www.jokeworm.com/facts/
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Pure Gadzooks Shop!
 
Marcasite sterling silver brooch
ONLY
$22.99
FREE shipping
 
need to contact the owner?
Email not quick enough?
go to www.asimenia.com and use the live online chat button!
 
Pure Gadzooks Ebay Auctions (click links below)
JEWELRY SENT  WORLDWIDE
 
Jayne's useless GIF!
 
 
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Have a great day!
Be good to each other and ..... smile!
Jayne.
 
Thanks for the pics Jaja
 
http://www.tazbar.com/search/search.aspx?seller=ASIMENIA
Click the link for great jewels at incredible prices!
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