this is the best!!!!!
Gregory Sutter
On Mon, 03 Feb 1997 21:10:05 -0600, REIN888 <REI...@prodigy.net> wrote:
>Hello! I wanted to share something very important.
Thanks.
>You know each of us only has one life to live.
Unless we are reincarnated.
>We need to make decisions now that will determine our future.
Just as in every second of our lives.
>The God of heaven sent his only Son to this earth
As opposed to the God of Uranus.
>to let us have a way to be right with God,
Hey! God! Be right with you.
>have God's help in this life and one day be in heaven
>with God. There in heaven is peace, rest, love and joy.
and sex. Lots and lots of sex.
>We definitely don't want to go to the other place called hell.
I only know one place called hell. Where is the other?
>In hell, there is darkness, thirst, torment and weeping and
>gnashing of teeth. So how can we enjoy God's blessing now
Darkness is cool. Weeping is necessary -- boy would my eyes dry out from all
that heat.
>and be in heaven? Simple, receive Jesus Christ as Savior.
Argh.
>It says that if we will confess with our mouth the Lord Jesus
I prefer to confess with my left kidney.
>and believe in our heart that God raised him from the dead
But not our brain? C'mon, the church doesn't still believe _that_, right?
>we will be saved. We can simply pray: Heavenly Father,
>forgive me of my sins and I now confess Jesus Christ
>as the Lord of my life and I believe in my heart
>(with everything in me) that you raised Jesus Christ
Prayer of course will solve the problems of the world and ease everyone's
greatest woes. Come on, believe in Jesus, be like me!
>from the dead. The Word of God (the Bible) says that you
>are now saved! You are now a child of God, transferred
Just like Jesus! Hurrah!
>from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light!
>Jesus is now your Good Shepherd, taking care of you and
>helping you!
We are only sheep to God, not thinking or making any independent decisions.
He will watch over us, make the right decision for us, so we can live a life
(ha) of idleness in heaven above.
>Thanks for reading and choosing life. Hope to hear from you soon!
Thanks for praying and not dying. See you in hell, motherfucker!
GReg
Ronald Gnadinger
TOO FUNNY!
Damn. Let's party.
Ron G.
In article <32f7752e....@news.psu.edu> gsu...@pobox.com (Gregory
Sutter) writes:>Path: news3.cac.psu.edu!usenet
>From: gsu...@pobox.com (Gregory Sutter)
>Newsgroups: psu.market.forsale,psu.flame,alt.flame
>Subject: Re: this is the best!!!!!
>Date: Tue, 04 Feb 1997 17:54:50 GMT
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Ryan Drake
Gregory Sutter <gsu...@pobox.com> wrote in article
<32f7752e....@news.psu.edu>...
> >Hello! I wanted to share something very important.
> Thanks.
Welcome!
> >You know each of us only has one life to live.
> Unless we are reincarnated.
Which happens every day?
> >We need to make decisions now that will determine our future.
> Just as in every second of our lives.
Of course.
> >The God of heaven sent his only Son to this earth
> As opposed to the God of Uranus.
Does your anus have its own god?
> >to let us have a way to be right with God,
> Hey! God! Be right with you.
Whassup?
> >have God's help in this life and one day be in heaven
> >with God. There in heaven is peace, rest, love and joy.
> and sex. Lots and lots of sex.
Nope. sorry try again...
> >We definitely don't want to go to the other place called hell.
> I only know one place called hell. Where is the other?
Its called penn state.
> >In hell, there is darkness, thirst, torment and weeping and
> >gnashing of teeth. So how can we enjoy God's blessing now
> Darkness is cool. Weeping is necessary -- boy would my eyes dry out from
all
> that heat.
I think someone is already missing a point here...
> >and be in heaven? Simple, receive Jesus Christ as Savior.
> Argh.
Yea. its that tough.
> >It says that if we will confess with our mouth the Lord Jesus
> I prefer to confess with my left kidney.
I dunno about you, but my kidneys cannot speak...
> >and believe in our heart that God raised him from the dead
> But not our brain? C'mon, the church doesn't still believe _that_,
right?
um... whatever you meant there...
> >we will be saved. We can simply pray: Heavenly Father,
> >forgive me of my sins and I now confess Jesus Christ
> >as the Lord of my life and I believe in my heart
> >(with everything in me) that you raised Jesus Christ
> Prayer of course will solve the problems of the world and ease everyone's
> greatest woes. Come on, believe in Jesus, be like me!
ever try?
> >from the dead. The Word of God (the Bible) says that you
> >are now saved! You are now a child of God, transferred
> Just like Jesus! Hurrah!
um... ok.
> >from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light!
> >Jesus is now your Good Shepherd, taking care of you and
> >helping you!
> We are only sheep to God, not thinking or making any independent
decisions.
> He will watch over us, make the right decision for us, so we can live a
life
> (ha) of idleness in heaven above.
[SNIP]
Here is a case of someone reading something, and only seeing what they want
to see. People have such closed minds when it comes to religeon (or their
lack of)
Eric Bennett
> >we will be saved. We can simply pray: Heavenly Father,
> >forgive me of my sins and I now confess Jesus Christ
> >as the Lord of my life and I believe in my heart
> >(with everything in me) that you raised Jesus Christ
>
> Prayer of course will solve the problems of the world and ease everyone's
> greatest woes. Come on, believe in Jesus, be like me!
"God will forgive me. That's his business."
-Heinrich Heine
Sin away!
> > The Word of God (the Bible) says
I thought the Bible was more like a collection of stories passed around
by lots of different people with the usual ridiculous embellishments
each time a story was retold.
--
-Eric Bennett ( er...@pobox.com ; http://www.pobox.com/~ericb )
MkLinux: run a well-designed OS on well-designed hardware.
http://www.mklinux.apple.com
Eric Bennett
In article <01bc12d2$f26ea1a0$d7c3...@rtd114.rh.psu.edu>
"Ryan Drake" <stil...@psu.edu> writes:
> People have such closed minds when it comes to religeon (or their
> lack of)
Have an open mind like Mark Twain and all will be well:
"The easy confidence with which I know one man's religion is folly
teaches me to suspect that my own is also." -M.T.
Eric Bennett
> > >and believe in our heart that God raised him from the dead
> > But not our brain? C'mon, the church doesn't still believe _that_,
> right?
>
> um... whatever you meant there...
I think he means the Church has over the years had to give up more and
more of its ridiculous beliefs, and he thought that this was one of
them.
Eric Bennett
> > >It says that if we will confess with our mouth the Lord Jesus
> > I prefer to confess with my left kidney.
>
> I dunno about you, but my kidneys cannot speak...
It's the good will that counts.
Eric Bennett
> > >We definitely don't want to go to the other place called hell.
> > I only know one place called hell. Where is the other?
>
> Its called penn state.
York Campus, to be specific.
Jude Giampaolo
In article <5de2cp$15...@r02n01.cac.psu.edu>, Oleg Zabluda
<zab...@math.psu.edu> wrote:
> Those who watch teh Simpsons already know that there were 15 commandments.
> 5 on each clay plate. But Moses dropped one, while returning from talking
> to the God, since he had only two arms, and we got stuck with only 10.
> I am pretty sure thet number 11 was:
>
> "Thou shall not spam."
No, no, that was History of the World, Part I.
--
Jude Giampaolo -- Penn State University -- Electrical Engineering
jcg...@psu.edu - ju...@smellycat.com - http://prozac.cwru.edu/jude/
Oleg Zabluda
Gregory Sutter <gsu...@pobox.com> wrote:
: >Thanks for reading and choosing life. Hope to hear from you soon!
:
: Thanks for praying and not dying. See you in hell, motherfucker!
Those who watch teh Simpsons already know that there were 15 commandments.
5 on each clay plate. But Moses dropped one, while returning from talking
to the God, since he had only two arms, and we got stuck with only 10.
I am pretty sure thet number 11 was:
"Thou shall not spam."
Oleg.
--
Life is a sexually transmitted, 100% lethal disease.
Jen Mullen
Gregory Sutter (gsu...@pobox.com) wrote:
: I only know one place called hell. Where is the other?
My boss stopped there on vacation, and sent us a postcard of the post
office.
Interesting that this was posted to psu.market.forsale. I didn't know that
Jesus was up for grabs.
--
Jennifer S. Mullen red...@psu.edu http://spitfire.ecsel.psu.edu/~redjen/