It is not any easy now sharing what I went thru. It will never be easy to share with those whom I think are going thru what I went thru. It's never going to be easy to share with those whom I anticipate will go thru my path, it hurts me deep in side.
Man does all they can to stay alive, even our poison becomes an option for medicine, only due to fear, behind our minds what we really want would be any option other than the option to take any medicine for that matter.
Try to reset your knowledge of HIV and Aids, read and research your own independant findings, treat it like a puzzle and you will see that ARV, is not the piece you are missing.
You will realise that the HIV test that you have +/- especially + is not a reason to sweat your palms and spine with fear. This story reminds me of the actual path and it's hot coals.
If going to the hospital many times qualified one for the Prestigious Nobel Prize, I would have won it and left it on my death bed. An open mind may be the difference you and your needs for peace within.
I get very disappointed when I see, some people excluding me from any discussion of hiv and aids, If they could retrack, they will see, I Have done what their objective is - To Win the war of Hiv and Aids via change.