DailyOM: What does positive psychology miss about happiness?
Jisun: Positive psychology looks at these core components: positive emotions, engagement and flow, developing nurturing relationships, finding meaning in the human experience, and allowing oneself to align with successes and achievements. It misses a core component of why we’re here as human beings — the spiritual parts of us. It’s the essence of what makes us, us. It’s the part that wishes to transcend the experiences of right vs. wrong, good vs. bad, and the limitations of our human brains.
Rewriting paradigms, reworking our maps, breaking through archaic beliefs, these are areas that positive psychology doesn’t directly address. In this course, we’ll go over how to directly and indirectly change your perspectives so that you’re no longer chasing endorphin highs. Instead, you are anchoring yourself into lasting fulfillment and finding clarity about who you are at your essence.
DailyOM: Why is self-love so hard? And what’s it got to do with happiness?
Jisun: Often when we say we want to be happy, what we really mean is that we want to love ourselves and our circumstances unconditionally. What makes this so incredibly difficult is that we were given outdated maps to try and navigate this journey. Trying to find our way to happiness, self-love, and a sense of wholeness is difficult if you’re using an outdated map. You will keep running into barrier after barrier. You need a new map, and together we will create one.
One of the first things to learn with your new map is — self-love is something you have to do. Self-love can’t be earned. It has to be learned. That means, when you discover aspects of yourself using your new map, self-love is inevitable. Just like happiness is inevitable when you’re on the right path.
DailyOM: Is there a dark side to chasing happiness?
Jisun: In a pursuit to feel at peace, we chase happiness. We think checking off boxes on a list will help, pursuing momentary experiences of endorphin highs will make a difference, or trying to control everything around us will bring us peace. By believing that happiness needs to be chased, you waste months and years of your already short life trying to find something that isn’t going to be found. At least you won’t find it where we were taught to search. The longer we stay in that rat race of false beliefs and attempts to feel good, the more distorted our abilities to perceive truth become and the more lost we find ourselves.
Instead of chasing happiness, why not invite happiness to meet us where we are? Inviting happiness is simple — not always easy — but simple. Happiness is becoming clear about who you are, why you’re here, and what moves you. When you’re on the right path, happiness will magnetize to you — she can’t help it.
DailyOM: Tell us how you’ve designed this course and the kinds of tools you’ll provide.
Jisun: This course was designed with purpose-driven people in mind. If you’ve checked off a bunch of things from the “life-success” checklist and find yourself back at square even more confused, this is for you. We will review the key players who have obstructed you from feeling at peace with yourself and the barriers to happiness that you may not have seen consciously.
Using different fields of psychology: positive psychology, cognitive behavior therapy, and neuro-linguistic processing, you’ll learn how to reframe what you’ve been taught so that you can feel better about yourself, invite more joy into your life, and be more in control of where you’re headed. We’ll work together to rewrite old narratives, reframe outdated beliefs, and create a sense of direction toward a happier, more joyful life.
DailyOM: What do you hope students will take away from your course?
Jisun: There’s a saying, “Life doesn’t happen to you, but for you.” I’d like to introduce a different frame of mind: “Life doesn’t happen to you or even for you. Life happens by you.” I hope that through this course, you’ll come to learn that happiness doesn’t happen accidentally. Also someone is not born happier or with happy genes. In fact, our happiness is only about 50% determined by genes. The rest is determined by intentional activities and life circumstances — how you choose to do life.
By the end of this course, you’ll have reviewed outdated premises that you’ve subconsciously allowed to run your life, and you’ll have practiced new ways of seeing yourself. With this knowledge and awareness, you can develop intentional habits and a sense of agency that you may not have felt in a long time.
DailyOM: Thank you, Jisun. Your insights and step-by-step plan are critical for creating the pathway to lasting fulfillment, happiness, and peace. Until next time, be well.
