REFLECTIONS

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Wally Buschmann

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May 17, 2012, 10:07:44 AM5/17/12
to John R Bockstoce, Pomf...@googlegroups.com
John,
 
In your case, the committee was not able to convince the system to award you your letter.  As I recall, the committee wanted to recognize you for your championship and David Truslow prepared a plaque that was awarded to you.  You have the unique position in our class of being the only NE Champion.  We were proud of you then and continue to take pride in your many accomplishments since. 
 
Enjoyed your lecture on Friday.  Good to see that you are having so much fun in your chosen profession.
 
Wally
 
WALDEMAR G. BUSCHMANN
WEEKS & HUTCHINS, LLC
P. O. Box 417
2 Park Place
Waterville, Maine 04903-0417
 

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From: John R Bockstoce [mailto:john_r_b...@msn.com]
Sent: Thursday, May 17, 2012 9:47 AM
To: Wally Buschmann
Subject: RE: REFLECTIONS

Wally:
 
You're right.  I was really annoyed about not getting a letter for winning the single sculls at Worcester in '62.  I said the same to Manny, and he explained that I had not beaten out anyone to get on the varsity, so I didn't qualify.  My reply: "I've just beaten everyone in New England!"
 
But ex post facto, the school actually awarded me a rowing letter in 1968. They had begun awarding letters for single sculls, and Chick Cole felt badly that I had not received one, so he had the athletic director send me one (and a letter sweater). 
 
I didn't much care.  By then I had already reached the semi-finals in singles at the Olympic Trials in 1964 and had rowed on the Yale varsity and was captain of the Oxford U. crew.
 
Feel free to share this with whomever you wish.
 
All the best! John
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Subject: RE: REFLECTIONS
Date: Thu, 17 May 2012 13:28:51 +0000

David,
 
It was interesting to learn over the weekend from many of our classmates that they had felt bullied, isolated, and out of the loop during their four years at Pomfret.  Some of them were individuals whom we all felt were leaders in the class or had experienced other levels of success as students - or so it appeared on the surface.
 
I was on the athletic committee when letters were being awarded.  I believe Dave Truslow and Russ Fisher were the other members of the committee.  We did not have the maturity or the leadership to over ride the system and accepted the "Pomfret standard for awarding letters."  John Bockstoce and many other of our classmates were denied letters, including members of the basketball team, because of an arcane, inflexible rule from on high. 
 
Ralph Arietta floated the idea of awarding letters at our reunion to everyone in our senior year who participated at the varsity level but had been denied them because of the arbitrary standard set by the school.  I felt it was too little too late - perhaps I was wrong, the same as I now know I was wrong back in 1962. 
 
I accept my role and am more than chagrin that I did not have the character and maturity as a member of the committee to stand up for you and all the other seniors who should have been awarded a letter in athletics.
 
David, I'm sorry that you weren't able to join us last weekend, but I'm glad that you got your message out for all of us to hear. 
 
Wally
 
WALDEMAR G. BUSCHMANN
WEEKS & HUTCHINS, LLC
P. O. Box 417
2 Park Place
Waterville, Maine 04903-0417
 

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Hi Pat...and fellow aging weenies. When the many Mayflower descendants were mentioned, I couldn't resist reminding you all that the same was said about all the folks who said they attended Woodstock; must have been at least 10mill.
  Now, on to a serious note; While I appreciate all the effort that went into making our class reunion a success you might have noticed my inconspicuous absence. Alas, my experience at Pomfret, with the sole exception of music and maybe theater (remember Hard Killed the Count?) was less than memorable and fulfilling. I was labeled "King Of The Nerds", bullied, and teased for four years and I'll leave that part to rest. 
    The part that really pissed me off and still does (when I think of it) was the shaft I received from Manny, Chic Cole, and the Athletic Committee when it came time to pass out letters for Crew in The Spring of 1962. I was stroke of the Varsity Fourth boat. More or less a joke in the crew community, our crew was comprised of 5th formers and myself, and we nevertheless were undefeated in the regular season and at Worchester (sp?) THEY pronounced it "Woooooster". 
     In their infinite wisdom the above-mentioned deemed it unnecessary to give the boat letters because I already had one as MANAGER of the basketball team and the rest of the boat could earn theirs the following year (never DID find out if they got 'em.) 
      I loved crew almost as much as I loved music and I felt incredibly betrayed by the Pomfret "jock system". I found out later that the decision was based on a helluva lot more than what they told me. All I have left is the issue of the Pontefract which states that the fourth boat saved what was an otherwise "disappointing" crew season.
     So....I'm happy to read that the reunion was a blast, happy to have re-connected with a few of you, and just wanted you to know that I enjoyed the four years with most of you and that therapy was not necessary :-)
    Cheers,
Dave Hard



On May 16, 2012, at 4:43 PM, marcus acheson <ach...@gmail.com> wrote:

bill…well reflected…well synthesized….as for the mayflower (120 passengers, 25-30 crew) it has been estimated that those who claim forefather/mothers who were among those passengers/crew suggest the mayflower had well over 12 million in passenger/crew members!!! time to go to ancestry dot com and prove it.
regards, m a r k 
On May 16, 2012, at 7:33 PM, Sherman Morss wrote:

Bill’s reflections are very well put.  And I’ve always been told my family descended from the Mayflower community.  Time to enlist the family tree guru.
 
Best, Pat
Bill,
 
Excellent summary of our gathering on the hill top.  It was a unique experience.  By far the best reunion I have attended.  Your generosity and committment to the school was and is inspiring.  Thank you.
 
On another note, now that you have traced your roots to the Mayflower, wonder how many others in our class have similar roots. 
 
Wally 
 
 
 
WALDEMAR G. BUSCHMANN
WEEKS & HUTCHINS, LLC
P. O. Box 417
2 Park Place
Waterville, Maine 04903-0417
 
The contents of this transmission may be privileged, confidential, and/or exempt from discovery or disclosure under applicable law. Unauthorized use or disclosure of this material by anyone but the intended recipient may lead to legal action against the unauthorized user. If you have received this transmission in error, please destroy it immediately and notify the sender of the error.
 
 
 
 
Hello Again! 
Attached please find a note from Bill Boehme.
Have a great day!
Melissa
Melissa L. Perkins
Advancement Office
Pomfret School
398 Pomfret Street
Pomfret, CT  06258
Office:  (860) 963-5957
Please support Pomfret’s Annual Fund today.  Click the link below to give online:

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Toby Condliffe

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May 17, 2012, 2:27:20 PM5/17/12
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I too had an interesting encounter with Charlie Willard in the mid-1980s, I think it was.

I had a double hernia and went to a hospital near Toronto known for hernia surgery, The Shouldice Clinic.  Hernia surgery is all they do.  I walked (painfully) to the dining room for dinner the day of my surgery.  I was a bit late for the sit down dinner and took the only empty seat at one of the tables full of hernia surgery patients.

I struck up a conversation with the guy on my right and we nattered through lunch.  About when desert came, I asked him where he had gone to college.  "Carleton," he answered.  "In Ottawa?" I asked.  (Carleton University is an excellent Canadian university.)  "No, in Minnesota," he replied.  It was Charlie, and neither of us had recognized the other.

We chatted briefly about Pomfret but I honestly can't remember what either of us said.

Toby

On Thu, May 17, 2012 at 1:54 PM, Peter Lownds <peter....@gmail.com> wrote:
Hi Dave,
Thanks for your note.  I got together with Charlie W. the year before he died when he came to L.A. as the stage manager of the national touring company of "Driving Miss Daisy," starring Julie Harris and Brock Peters.  He spoke to me very frankly about his "Pomfret experience" in the days when the 'closet' door remained tightly sealed and was very grateful that Headmaster Twitchell understood his plight.
Charlie was a real 'man of the theatre,' taught classes in stage management and production at Carnegie Tech.  I have no idea how LGBT students fare at post-viriliter Pomfret but I trust they are celebrated for their accomplishments rather than their  preferences.
Sorry I missed all the fun,
                   Z

On Thu, May 17, 2012 at 8:08 AM, David Hard <hdav...@msn.com> wrote:
Mark...Forgive me for highjacking your email but there are many aspects of Ipad usage I still can't get hold of....like making a class email list.....I like Toby's idea of the Yahoo Group.
    Can't tell you how gratified I was to hear from Wally and Bill about their feelings now and then concerning the Pomfret "system". When the the Romney-at-Cranbrook story broke, several musician friends of mine told me of their similar experiences at prep schools in NE. Seems that bullying was quite prevalent if you were "different", foreign, smart, etc. Several of our classmates come to mind and may I remind all that several masters were not immune. Remember making fun of Twi in the way he pointed with both hands ala Ed Sullivan? Or Mr. Campbell's laugh? Or calling Alice Dunbar "Squeek"? Or Cap Marble for his neck twitch? 
     I want to say right here that I hold no Ill will towards any of my classmates for actions that we can chalk up to immaturity 50 years ago. What I went through actually helped me develop a sense of humor which I use in my music and in life; it was nothing compared to what, for example, Charlie Willard must have endured, may he rest in peace. 
      What is really quite amazing is that we can and should talk about this at length as it's definitely a cleansing thing and a kind of group therapy. I now wish that I'd been at the reunion and should have taken the hint from Howie, I think, when he said not to feel like the Lone Ranger as far as not having had a "fulfilling" experience at Pomfret.
               Thanks, guys, for the good memories.....and there were a bunch of 'em. 
Stay in touch,
   Dave

PS..When Tom Rush and I first learned that we both went to an "old English-style prep school, he said "I feel like I grew up in 17th century England" :-)  



On May 17, 2012, at 7:20 AM, marcus acheson <ach...@gmail.com> wrote:

jack…that dutch boat probably sailed from leiden (the netherlands) where most of our early pilgrims had emigrated to in search of religious freedom (whatever that is given how intolerant most  religions were/still are) and then after about 17 years many of them set sail for america (where their freedom let some seek out and sacrifice "witches"), many with dutch spouses by that time.most dutch ships sailed to nieuw amsterdam (NYC) at that time. i wonder if that fits your genealogical research.
regards, m a r k 
On May 17, 2012, at 9:11 AM, Jack Lochhead wrote:

As usual I don't fit.  My earliest relation came over in 1634 on a Dutch boat.  But he married a local gal so in some sense my roots go way back.  All this and I am first generation.  

Jack





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ven...@provltd.necoxmail.com

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May 17, 2012, 4:09:27 PM5/17/12
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 To any one interested in the Mayflower connection:
Add Stuart Kent (my Neanderthal class of 62 husband who delegates all e-mail correspondence to his wife) to the Mayflower list. He is descended from passenger Edward Doty (also spelled Doten). I don't know about the other Mayflower passengers and what they may have done; however, a descendent of Edward Doty, Ethan Allen Doty, compiled a list of descendants in 1897. That book was updated and republished in 1975, and consists of over 1000 pages in small print.  My comment 40+ years ago, upon learning it, was, of course, that some of my ancestors might have met his at the "dock" -- if they had not been living far inland.
 It was a fun reunion. I have passed all the e-mails on, dutifully. Cheers.
Susie Kent, scribe
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moe...@q.com

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May 17, 2012, 7:15:38 PM5/17/12
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I also saw Charlie on the "Driving Miss Daisy" tour when it came through Boston.  I always loved it when he came through.  He always gave us free tickets.  "Driving Miss Daisy" was wonderful.  Charlie was a great friend but I don't remember him talking down his experience at Pomfret.  I also don't ever remember him telling me he was gay.  I couldn't have cared less.  He was my friend and that is all that counted.

 

Mo

MayoCon...@aol.com

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May 17, 2012, 11:54:56 PM5/17/12
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I remember Charlie as upbeat, positive, encouraging and full of life.  I don't remember him feeling down but maybe I did not know him that well - I just worked with him side by side in the dramatic society for years
 
and you, Mo, were also one of the good parts of that group
 
enjoy
 
fred
 
Frederic B. Mayo MBA, PhD, CHT, CHE
Clinical Professor, New York University
Principal, Mayo Consulting Services
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Von-Rumohr, Cai

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May 18, 2012, 7:49:03 AM5/18/12
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Not that there are not enough recollections of Charlie Willard.

He also invited me and my family in to Boston for “Driving Miss Daisy”; and he brought us back stage to meet Julie Harris & Brock Peters. It was particularly meaningful since my son was heavily involved in theater at his high school at the time and jumped at the opportunity to meet the Grand Dame herself.  A big move from when I roomed with Charlie & we used to argue over the record player with his preference being Gypsy and mine being just about anything else (esp. blues).

Losing him the way we did shortly after his trip to Boston was tough. He is missed and admired for having followed his dream.

 

Cai

 

 

 

 

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mayocon...@aol.com

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May 18, 2012, 9:35:50 AM5/18/12
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Beautifully said Cai

Fred
Fred Mayo
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From: "Von-Rumohr, Cai" <Cai.Von...@cowen.com>
Date: Fri, 18 May 2012 11:49:03 +0000
Subject: RE: REFLECTIONS

Wally Buschmann

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May 18, 2012, 2:33:59 PM5/18/12
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Is there an author amongst us?  The more I read, the more I feel as though I'm traveling through one of John Irving's novels, "Last Night at Twisted River" comes to mind.
 
Certainly enough fodder out there for a creative mind.
 

David Hard

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May 18, 2012, 3:27:44 PM5/18/12
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Funny that my daughter Emma suggested this a few nights ago. She wants to write a young adult novel but wants her narrator to be male.....so I'm at a loss as to who should author.....maybe Mr. Acheson?
    Great idea, though, and, VERY contemporary....I see flashbacks from father to son to father.
And leave Willard out of it....lest it become even more political. :-)
   Dave

I can write songs, however, and I'm working on a piece about a dog riding on the roof to Canada........



On May 18, 2012, at 11:33 AM, Wally Buschmann <w...@lawweeks.com> wrote:

Is there an author amongst us?  The more I read, the more I feel as though I'm traveling through one of John Irving's novels, "Last Night at Twisted River" comes to mind.
 
Certainly enough fodder out there for a creative mind.
 

--

David Hard

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May 18, 2012, 3:28:40 PM5/18/12
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Or Holden Caulfield?



On May 18, 2012, at 11:33 AM, Wally Buschmann <w...@lawweeks.com> wrote:

Is there an author amongst us?  The more I read, the more I feel as though I'm traveling through one of John Irving's novels, "Last Night at Twisted River" comes to mind.
 
Certainly enough fodder out there for a creative mind.
 

--

lccra...@aol.com

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May 19, 2012, 12:16:31 PM5/19/12
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Hi everyone!  Regrets to missing the reunion gathering but as some of you know, extenuating circumstances presented themselves in the form of priorities that had to be honored.  I have been on the "sidelines" enjoying the flowing commentary (Reflections) that is emerging as the present invites the past to inform us of what is truly meaningful in our lives.  Our lives are but collections of memories we use to make meaning, put things in perspective, and ultimately define us.  The Greek philosopher, Seneca, noted "Part of our time is snatched from us, part is gently subtracted, and part slides insensibly away."  The reflections I am reading and savoring bear testimony to the richness of the experiences we had while at Pomfret and during the years that followed.  Time well spent.    May I suggest..."The Times that were Pomfret: Recollection, Reflection, & Remembrance."

A personal update...I am one week away from finishing my preparation for a second career (MS in Mental Health Counseling). concluding my nine-month internship at a comprehensive mental health network (adult outpatient placement), and considering future options which will encompass public work in my specialty, working with criminal and substance abuse offenders; and starting a private practice in psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, and life coaching.  Anyone having a late, late, late, midlife crisis?  I am always available. :) :) :)

While I see and connect with Mo now and then when our schedules become aligned, I apologize for not keeping in touch with those of you nearby (here in Colorado...Howie for one) and on the coasts when I visit for professional or personal reasons.  Mea Culpa!  Stay tuned...may be showing up on your door to say hello and spend time "recollecting, reflecting, and enjoying moments of remembrance."

Kind thoughts,

Mike Jacobs   


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