Prison

[dave holloway]

Prison

I remember
Tijuana twinkling in the distant night,
guard towers, barbed wire and a harsh yellow light
dissolving shadows in every possible place,
exposing the dread on every new face
and a strong ocean scent blowing through the tension
the night I was sent to Donovan state prison.
And I remember
long days and longer nights,
degradations and savage sights.
Rivers of blood, thick and wide,
a black man staggering with a knife in his side.
A gentle man beaten down,
innocent and guilty, dragged away bound.
Cruel dentists and doctors without heart,
rumor spreading guards hoping to start
conflict and hate between one race and another,
snitch’s who’d rat on their own mother.
Set ups and pretenses to share
but most of all, my inability to care
and no one is spared this particular thing,
despite how they laugh and sometimes sing.
Despite the camaraderie within each race,
there’s a harder heart behind every hard face.
And I remember it all
so perfectly clear
and though it’s all over,
it’ll always be here.

3/92

[moondustwriter]

thanks for the view into a real world

[George Dance]

Brutal and effective. In the type of verse you write, Dave -- rhyming
but without meter -- there's alway a risk of doggerel, but it works
well here. First, you don't need a lot of elaborate imagery here: as
in war poetry, simple description is the best for this type of horror.
I like that you've done that, and that such imagery as you do use
("rivers of blood, eg.) is cliched enough that it doesn't get in the
way of the narrative. Second, you've caught the voice: this sounds
like an ordinary guy (not a poet0 tossed into prison for the first
time. In that way, it reminds me of an old ballad. Who knows, 500
years from now, when prisons are just a memory, it might be studied
like one.

Your verse reminds me a bit of Robert Service, one of whose war poems
I posted for Remembrance Day tomorrow. I hope you get a chance to read
it.

[dave holloway]

I will read it and I've been likened to Robert Service before but you know what, I don't really like reading his stuff much and you're pretty much right on about my prison poem.  I am a ordinary guy and it was my first time in prison.  I wrote others but they're more bitter than this one so I'm reluctant to post them.  Thanks again for your input.