On Friday, February 9, 2018 at 1:01:55 PM UTC+5:30, holly...@gmail.com
> The most beautiful girl I'd ever seen in my life always say’s, I'm looking for a long-term relationship. I'm not looking for a one night stand. I'm looking for a serious companion or soul mate, a younger man, she met at a do organised by a dating website, she's categorical that if sex is available easily, I suggest that we may have lost something in today's casual hookup culture.
> JoinMe: datingpassionate.com/registration.html
I am over 7 feet tall. That should be more than adequate for you to be glad you can wear high heels and feel "small and feminine." And let's hope all those guys under 6ft tall stop breeding --- those shorter guys out there are just ruining things for the rest of us.
Yes, I live at the gym. Literally. My big white van makes a great camper, and it's also handy for running drugs and prostitutes.
I now want to start my own gym and call it "Double Crossfit." That is, I get a bunch of women in yoga pants to buy a membership, and then I run off with their money.
I enjoy when people make assumptions about me: I must ride a Harley. I am probably very aggresive in bed. I am probably a player because i smile. I must own a big truck. I must be a "dog person" -- because, ya know, why actually try to bond with any other kind of animal? That's for snowflakes. Which means I must also be a Trump supporter.
I am really only on here so that you can ruthlessly judge my profile and see that you are too good for me. Or that because I don't drink, I am probably too vanilla.
I really enjoy meet-and-greets where women complain about all the men who just want one thing. I also love hearing that you have no drama, that everything happens for a reason, and that your love language is "physical touch."
Seriously, I can't enough of your pics: selfies by the squat rack at the gym, yoga poses on a mountain top, showing off your golf swing at Top Golf, and holding assault rifles at the gun range.
Which reminds me: I am quite relieved that you are strong and independent and don't need a man, and especially that you are "awesome" and a "bada$$". Yes, you win -- you are the toughest person in the universe.
I am actually covered in tattoos. But they're invisible ink.
Please promise me that if we do date, you will spend the first couple of weeks talking about your abusive and/or cheating ex.
I am a big fan of women who wish to meet someone "organically" -- you know, while shopping at the grocery store, or browsing a bookstore, or while you're drinking a skinny vanilla latte at Starbucks. Well, the problem is that so many people here in the Valley look so happy and are smiling all the time, and they are so friendly and talkative with their neighbors in fellow cookie cutter homes, I just can't tell who's really interested.
And speaking of smiling -- whatever you do, do not smile in your pics. Instead, look aloof, coy, or mysterious. Or even better if you look mean. That totally gets me going.
Ok, now I await my inbox to blow up with messages from women who expect the man to make the first move.
And if we do meet, also promise that we will text for at least a week, and then you will cancel our date an hour before we're supposed to meet.
That's all for now. And if you can't handle parody or satire -- well, you're lame ;-)