DIR - sposob zycia
Jan Werbiński
================
Kate
"I converted to DIR about 6 months ago and I have found that the
philosophy
extends way beyond diving. I think most people tend to view DIR as a gear
configuration or diving objective type of thing but it really is a
philosophy that you can use in other parts of your life. For instance,
below are just some of the ways I've extended the DIR way of doing things
into other areas of my life.
Last week some of my buddies came over to my house. Now, not all of
them are divers but they do understand the DIR philosophy. So, first off,
we all drink the same beer. This avoids any situations where you might be
enjoying a lager and accidentally pick up an ale (or the other way
around). That can be very uncool. That could quickly lead to a panic
situation so we avoid it all together. We also drink only from cans, no
bottles. And we never put the beer in the refrigerator. It always goes in
the ice chest in my living room. 47% of Drinking Related Incidents (DRI)
occur when someone is going to the fridge for another beer so better to be
safe than sorry. Of course, this is all rigged up while we're still 100%
sober so there's no impaired judgment once things get cooking.
All of us wear a bungee necklace with a full beer on it just in case
someone experiences an Out Of Beer (OOB) emergency. I can offer my
already opened beer to my buddy and simply reach down and grab the backup
off my beer necklace. And, without exception, we always use the 7-foot
hose on the beer bong.
Of course, we don't stay in every night so when we do decide to go out we
make sure we're still DIR. All of us wear exactly the same clothing:
Levi's 501 Jeans (button hole, straight leg, black)
Gap Black T-shirt
Haynes boxer shorts, black
Gold Toe socks, black
Kenneth Cole shoes, Brad Bitt style
G-Shock watch, black band
Nylon belt, black, with military buckle
Black Leather Jacket (optional, depending on weather conditions)
This may sound a bit silly or overdone but believe me, when you're
penetrating a night club, knowing exactly what you buddies are dressed
like can make all the difference in the world if you're hoping to snag
some hottie. Let's say I see some cutie and just before I get up to go
talk to her a waitress spills a drink in my lap? No problem, because I can
always swap pants with my buddy. I don't have to worry if they match,
because I know he's wearing Levi's 501's. Bam, swap pants and I can still
complete my objective.
One thing to keep in mind about nightclubs is that you seldom want to
penetrate a club on beer. I know, some of the macho jerks do this and brag
to all of their buddies. Believe me, it's not DIR. You have to do it on
mixed drinks. Obviously the mix will be different on different nights but
a good vodka tonic mix is pretty standard. Again, there's a right way and
a wrong way to do this. You can't just order any old vodka or depend on
some bartender to get the mix right. That's what the strokes do. No, you
order Stoli vodka, which has an excellent reputation in the DIR partying
community. The correct blend is 2oz Stoli with tonic water poured over ice
in a highball glass (lemon or lime optional). I always bring a testing kit
with me and if the blend is off, I send it back. It's just not worth the
risk and it's not DIR.
So you penetrate the nightclub and you've got a good mix, now it's time to
meet the ladies. I should have said this earlier but watch your drink
consumption. It's a well-known fact that women look 25% - 30% better in a
nightclub and if you get all narced up on vodka tonic, it increases your
chances of a coyote ugly blackout. You have to keep your wits about you.
If it's early, you probably have pretty good viz. Later in the evening
when the smoke silts up the room it'll be harder to make out the women on
the other side of the club so get your headings early. On a few occasions
I've had to bust out the wreck reel just to get to the bathroom and back.
If you are lucky enough to hook up with a nice hottie, this is when doing
it right really can pay off. Now, let's face it, there's a certain degree
of danger involved here that I don't want to downplay. You need to
minimize your risks by using the proper equipment. I carry 2 condoms. One
I put on.. . well you know, and the second I put on a bungee that goes
around my
waist. If there's a malfunction on my primary, I can quickly go to my
backup without skipping a beat.
--
Jan Werbinski +48 68 3630000 +48 606 269777 fax +48 68 363014
jan...@pf.pl ICQ 7291035 ....._[:]) bul, bul, bul, bul