Upcoming Jungle Events
Jungle Hash
- Interested in haring a Jungle or Lunar run? You can now register to a hare a Jungle or Lunar run using the new Jungle/Lunar Hare Line Registration form.
- Rego for CNH 2018 in Phnom Phen For Sale: BB & Tick Tock are selling their rego's for 4,000B (orig cost $280 USD). They would still like the t-shirt and patch if there is one. Email BB if interested.
22 April: Run #394: St Georges Day Run (Date Change for Sonkran), Hares: The Wizard, Sperm Polluter, Delboy, Arsebandit, Beetroot Head
Important: Hares Required for runs begining 6 May, with the exeption of 15 July. Use
Trail Paper: Thanks to Kamoy Joy we have a good supply of shredded paper. If you're a Jungle hare and in need of paper, contact Pussy Snatcher to make arrangements to pick up.
The hares for this run were Fag Hacker and Speedo Pete, who both had major events happen to their lives recently. On the Australia Run Fag Hacker was attacked by an aggressive piece of barb-wire, which necessitated Casper rushing him to hospital. As a result of his injuries he will need an expensive operation.
I not sure what the operation will be, but he did mention he might need to be rename as I-hop 2 after the operation.
Speedo Pete was recently renamed as his former name meant that all small children run from him at the mention of his name. As a result of his new name he had to have all his clothes retagged and labelled; this had to be done at considerable expense. This explains why the hares were cash strapped; this became apparent later in the run.
The first circle dragged on forever, not just because Sperm Polluter drivelled on as usual. The delay was caused by one of the female virgin running out of the circle every time Sperm Polluter turned his back. This happened at least 20-30 times and made the first circle drag on forever. The committee should really look at whether the GM should really flash his donger at all the female virgins not because it is not appropriate but because it take so long to catch them and bring them back to the circle.
Finally the FRB set off; I thought it was very strange that many of them had magnifying glasses. As I started walking with my mate from Singapore Lick Her Juices, I noticed the paper marking the trial was small and far between. Lick Her Juices did not see any paper as he had his nose struck up the bum of attractive female. Ah moment, I thought, because the hares were cashed strapped they had to cut down on the paper. As a result hashers were wandering around aimlessly except for the FRBs as they used their magnifying glasses to find paper.
However, the terrain was varied and most of the tracks were wide and not too many hills for the walkers anyway.
Bam Bam led the short cutting walker home after 45 minutes and the other walkers were led home by Mental 15 minutes later. I asked Mental what he thought of walk and he said “good, but I am dry as a dead dingos donger” (Australian for I am very thirty). We then waited and waited for the FRBs, but there was no sign of them.
Then we saw a fire on a far hill, later we learnt that some of the FRB had become separated so they used there magnifying glasses to light a fire to let the others know where they were and it worked as the others caught up. However, the fire burnt most of the vegetation on the mountain as well as 4-5 houses. Another 30 minutes and still no FRBs, then we heard “Cooee” (Australian for how far away are you) from a near hill and we replied with a Cooee and 15 minutes later the first FRB arrived at 6 pm.
It was a bit of a long run for the FRBs, but who cares because if you are FRB you deserve a long run. Then more good news for the hares as they heard that their bank loan had been approved which meant they provided us with some very tasty tucker.
Overall, a good walk and run, however we will never be allowed back to the area due to the damage done by the fire.
Well done Fag Hacker and Speedo Pete; we hope your financial position improves in the future!
On On
White Chinaman
Jungle Hash
IMPORTANT: For the Nations Day Run you're expected to bring a sample of your home country's food for all to try. Don't come empty handed!
Assemble (Location TBA) at 6:30 pm, On Out 7:00 pm, No sign up fee - No records are kept - Pay for your own drinks
22 April: Run #394: St Georges Day Run (Date Change for Sonkran), Hares: The Wizard, Sperm Polluter, Delboy, Arsebandit, Beetroot Head
Important: Hares Required for runs begining 6 May, with the exeption of 15 July. Use
The scribe (Loveboat) went by car to the a-site and did miss the enjoyment of the bathbus transport.
The buses arrived to a very nice A-site next to a disused and flooded quarry. No traffic noise from nearby road. People tended to stay in two separate groups, to the right shade, to the left shade. No one in the middle where the sun blasted.
The first circle was called and produced one virgin, a French/Belgian guy who was welcomed to the jungle hash. He left the circle and was immediately called back due to new shoes.
The hares, Bambam and White chinaman explained the run and walkers trail, checks and back checks colour. Papers were marked and runners were advised to follow the correct trail. Lots of paper in this area so easy to be mislead if not vigilant.
Off we went. The scribe immediately made a hash crash which prevented more running. And a blow to the head which might explain if the following is hard to follow.....
A nice walkers trail listening to Tossa made time fly for 4k anyway.
The description of the run is written by someone who made it!!
Even front runners seemed lethargic and slow in the blazing sunshine. We mainly stayed on dirt tracks that ran amongst the fields and tree plantations. Numerous Back Checks kept the pack together almost to the end of the run.
At the furthest point away from the asite we found ourselves following the wrong unmarked hanging paper which had the effect of bringing the pack together again until the correct trail was regained.
The last back check took a while to solve but then the frbs took off again leaving the main pack behind again. We ran across what appeared to be a well tended garden before crossing over a low barbed wire fence onto another dirt road. This is where a snake fled the pack as it slithered under the barbed wire and across the dirt road. Dirt Looney missed the excitement as be was deep into a work related Pythagoras conversation !
After the garden section we followed the dirt road back to the asite where Jellobut in his haste to end the run on a sprint finish, missed the right turn along side the quarry and carried on to who knows where.
A decent run in a well used hashing area with normal length and duration. Not much shade but at least flat with no arduous hill climbs.
The first runner back was Diarrhea. He'd done almost 11k in 1hour and 5 min. He broke all checks since the trail was supposed to be arnd 7.5k. The next ones in were Delboy and Speedo Pete.
The second circle was called and started by putting Speedo Pete on the ice. Even though he registered all the runners he didn't know which run it was?
The hares next on the ice. All agreed the run was nice but hot. Kee Mah helped with the downdowns when the hares were iced. Very nice and helpful guy.
Diarrhea was congratulated on his 10th run. Arse bandit and Andy Whorehole were also celebrated for something. Most bars in Boyztown in one evening??
Gi Joe was iced because he left his lovely wife to go to Chang Rai AND did not leave her any money to buy food.
Shame on you GI Joe. His motive? "That's the only way to stop her from eating".
A lot of people were iced for various reasons which is impossible to remember but suddenly there were four fat cunts sitting on the ice. I will not mention their names and thankfully the ice did not break from these heavyweight guys.
The virgin was iced because he sat on a pink chair. Now there is a confusion, Tampax having his feet on an orange stool. Reason for icing? Who knows.
Shithead, Testicles, Beetroot, Pussy snatcher iced. Wizard in the bucket.
All had been out in a bar up to no good. Mad cow squeeled on Paprika smiley and ended up in the bucket.
Bambam took the circle and put a couple on the ice accusing him of being an imposter. He, Bambalabamba, claimed not to be a visitor although he did not have 10 runs. He was informed that only after 10 runs you're a real jungle hasher and not a visitor.
The virgin who did not understand the chair colour problem was again iced because he sat on the pink chair.
Pussy snatcher iced because no battery in the hash camera. Blamed his wife for using up all the batteries. To do what one might wonder, what's a women supposed to do if you wanna use the mixer....?
Greyhound in next to forward the wanker t-shirt to some innocent guy who turned out to be Rumpled foreskin.
Finally Bambam was celebrated in the hash-way since his birthday had passed.
Flour, egg and cream poured over him while sitting in the bucket.
Congrats Bambam. You are a great guy and a talented web-master!!
On On
Loveboat
