Upcoming Jungle Events
Jungle Hash
Jungle News
RIP
On 31 December, our fellow hasher Pussy Whipped lost his battle with cancer. He first ran with the PJH3 on 20 January, 2013 and had run 20 runs with us. Condolonces to his family and friends.
RIP Pussy Wipped
Hare Line
Hare Line Condition: ORANGE, Next Open Run Is Run #438, 16 Feb 2020
Please review the Jungle Hare Line for all open run dates and register to hare a Jungle run using the Jungle/Lunar Hare Line Registration Form.
Khao Mai Keao - Too Much Paper
The hash has received a yellow card for overuse of paper in the Khao Mai Keao area. We have been asked to pass the word that if you use this area, then you must clean up the paper after your run. Hares, also consider using chalk to mark your trail on tree trunks instead of shredded paper on the ground.
Khao Mai Keao Clean Up
18 January: In light of recent criticism regarding the amount of paper being left by hashers in KMK The Wizard is organising a clean up of some of the more popular trails. The objective will be to remove all litter, not just hash paper and to demonstrate our commitment to keeping our treasured hashing areas in good order. This is a great opportunity for us to positively connect with the rest of the community that uses KMK, and hopefully the wider community too.
Full details will be announced in the next few days via FB and email.
Nations Day Run
15 March: Mark your calendars for the annual Nations Day run. Future hares please note we have selected the sala behind the Shell station off of hwy 36 (12.942521, 100.99937) as the a-site. It would be greatly appreciated if runs between now and 15 March would steer clear of using that area.
************
Upcoming Jungle Events
05 January: Run #435: Hares: Love Boat, Pol Dancer
Misdirections and map to A-Site at end of this email.
Hashers: Please try to bring correct change to the runs, or at the very least pay your signup fee with notes smaller than 1,000B. Those with correct change will be given preference at the sign up table.
Please bring correct change to the runs, or at the very least pay your signup fee with notes smaller than 1,000B. As we're usually short of 50B notes, payment with these notes would be much appreciated.
07 January: Jungle Mismanagement Meeting: All are welcome and encouraged to attend - Drinking & Meeting starts @ 18:00 pm at Easy R-Con Bar.
19 January: Run #436: Hares: The Wizard, Delboy
22 January: Chimps Bar Hop: First beer will be at TBA at 18:00 pm.
Led By: Leader Needed
No sign up - pay as you go. Drink at your own pace.
02 February: Run #437: Post Australia Day Run, Hares: Bam Bam, Diddy Dicker, White Chinaman
16 February: Run #438: Hares: Hares Required
Popular Hash Songs
Do you have trouble remembering a hash song when called on. You can now come to the circle prepared with a list of Popular Hash Songs.
************
Jungle Monkey Hash - Men Only
25 January: Run #89: Iron Man Monkey, Hares: Bam Bam, Beetroot Head, Whore In The Window
No. Of Signups On Run: 40, No. On Waitlist: 3, Max No. Of Signups For This Run: 40
Max No. Of Signups For This Run Has Been Reached. New Signups Will Be Added To The Waitlist.
Please register to attend this Monkey run by using the Next Monkey Run Registration Form.
************
Special Runs
Lanna Bush Hash Run #38 - Leap Lanna Run
29 February, 2020: Hares: SoB & Pussy Virus
Location: Sakon Nakhon tentatively - but has yet to be scouted/confirmed; so don't book hotels/travel yet.
The Lanna Bush Hash is a challenging men only run.
For more details contat Lanna Bush Hash at: lanna...@gmail.com.
************
Hare Line
List Of Hashers That Have Not Hared A Run
The Jungle Hare Line now has a list of hashers who have been on a Jungle run in the last two years, but have not hared a run. If your name is on the list, please consider giving back to the Jungle by haring one of the open run dates.
You can check the @JungleHareLinePage for run dates in need of a hare.
Register to a hare a Jungle or Lunar run using the Jungle/Lunar Hare Line Registration Form or by contacting either of the Hare Raisers, AFC or The Wizard at contac...@gmail.com.
Further Incentive to Hare a Run
The Jungle has an additional condition for receiving a run award. In addition to completing 25 runs to reach the next award level, the hasher must also have hared at least one run of the 25 runs to receive their run award. If the hasher did not hare a run in that time period, the award will be held until they have added their name to the hare line to hare an upcoming run.
A Sites And Restricted Areas Map
The Jungle website now has an A Sites And Restricted Areas Map. The map displays all past & future A-Sites, along with known restricted areas. It also indentifies A-Sites for future runs that may be too close to each other or a restricted area. The map is also useful for hares planning which area to use for their run as it displays A-Sites that have not been used recently, and are not near any A-Sites selected for upcoming runs.
If you know of, or become aware of restricted areas, or areas where we need to seek permission, please send the relevant information to contac...@gmail.com.
The map information is also saved in a Google Earth file and is available for download at Google Earth File Of Hash Trails. To ensure the Google Earth file has the most recent trails, please send and email to @JungleEmail to request the file be updated.
************
Jungle Sponsors
Jungle Sponsors
Sponsors: If you would like your event mentioned in our weekly emails, please send event details at least one week prior to contac...@gmail.com.
Reminder to all to please support our Jungle sponsors with your custom. A complete list can be found on the Jungle Sponsors.
Sponsor Banner
Look for this sign around town, it will tell you that establishment is a proud sponsor of the PJH3.
************
Jungle Run Reports
Jungle Run Reports & Photos
All Jungle run reports can be found at Jungle Run Reports and run photos at Jungle Run Photos.
Run Report By Love Boat
After a pleasant ride we arrived at the A-site just along the 36 rather close to where it crosses 331.Pleasant because of the nice company and riding together with one of the hares GI Joe. He confessed that his wife Squeeze, the other hare, found the place (A-site) and made the trail because she has a compass in her head.
Actually the ride was pleasant until we left the 36 and entered the dirt road. All of us ended up gritting our teeth full of the sand/dust. It's the dry season. The hares managed to find water anyway.
Lovely A-site except for a bee nest in one of the trees. They stayed calm though and enjoyed the evening which started with Cannonball welcoming us and then the hares told us about the run. Sticks paper etc.
Pussy Snatcher managed to fall two times within the first 10 meters in his effort to be a frb. The run started with a slope turning left running along a wall. After approx 150 metres though you had to cross a stream of ugly dirty water.
The run continued on dirt roads, inside rubber plantation which opened up to a small lake/pond. On on with a lot of running along sandy roads which was hard. Somewhere there was a long stretch inside water which I sadly missed, made it up in the end by going knee-deep in yet another stream-crossing.
Back at the A-site heard that some water-afraid walkers turned around at the first water and had a very short walk. The longer the wait for the beer.
In all a very good run where you could actually RUN.
On On Loveboat
************Misdirections To A-Site
From Pattaya Klang, turn left onto Sukhumvit Rd and drive north to the Highway 7 on ramp, exit right and drive almost all the way out to the highway 7/36 interchange, take the Rayong exit near the crest of the hill and after paying your 10 baht toll, drive down under and back up onto 36.
Continue on without merging with 36 and turn left at the 3240 overpass, merge with 3240 and drive all the way out to the highway 331 intersection.
At 331 turn left and continue on for approx 2.4kms and look for the HHH on the left to turn down a dirt track, turn left and continue on for approx 350 metres and look for the A site on the left.
Jungle Hash
Jungle News
Hare Line
Hare Line Condition: RED, Next Open Run Is Run #438, 16 Feb 2020
Please review the Jungle Hare Line for all open run dates and register to hare a Jungle run using the Jungle/Lunar Hare Line Registration Form.
Khao Mai Keao Clean Up
18 January: In light of recent criticism regarding the amount of paper being left by hashers in KMK The Wizard is organising a clean up of some of the more popular trails. The objective will be to remove all litter, not just hash paper and to demonstrate our commitment to keeping our treasured hashing areas in good order. This is a great opportunity for us to positively connect with the rest of the community that uses KMK, and hopefully the wider community too.
Full details will be announced in the next few days via FB and email.
Nations Day Run
15 March: Mark your calendars for the annual Nations Day run. Future hares please note we have selected the sala behind the Shell station off of hwy 36 (12.942521, 100.99937) as the a-site. It would be greatly appreciated if runs between now and 15 March would steer clear of using that area.
************
Upcoming Jungle Events
07 January: Jungle Mismanagement Meeting: All are welcome and encouraged to attend - Drinking & Meeting starts @ 18:00 pm at Easy R-Con Bar.
Meeting Location: Easy R-Con Bar (E Marker On Map)
19 January: Run #436: Hares: The Wizard, Delboy
Hashers: Please try to bring correct change to the runs, or at the very least pay your signup fee with notes smaller than 1,000B. Those with correct change will be given preference at the sign up table.
Please bring correct change to the runs, or at the very least pay your signup fee with notes smaller than 1,000B. As we're usually short of 50B notes, payment with these notes would be much appreciated.
22 January: Chimps Bar Hop: First beer will be at TBA at 18:00 pm.
Led By: Leader Needed
No sign up - pay as you go. Drink at your own pace.
02 February: Run #437: Post Australia Day Run, Hares: Bam Bam, Diddy Dicker, White Chinaman
16 February: Run #438: Hares: Hares Required
01 March: Run #439: Hares: Hares Required
Popular Hash Songs
Do you have trouble remembering a hash song when called on. You can now come to the circle prepared with a list of Popular Hash Songs.
************
Jungle Monkey Hash - Men Only
25 January: Run #89: Iron Man Monkey, Hares: Bam Bam, Beetroot Head, Whore In The Window
No. Of Signups On Run: 40, No. On Waitlist: 2, Max No. Of Signups For This Run: 40
Max No. Of Signups For This Run Has Been Reached. New Signups Will Be Added To The Waitlist.
Please register to attend this Monkey run by using the Next Monkey Run Registration Form.
************
Special Runs
Lanna Bush Hash Run #38 - Leap Lanna Run
29 February, 2020: Hares: SoB & Pussy Virus
Location: Sakon Nakhon tentatively - but has yet to be scouted/confirmed; so don't book hotels/travel yet.
The Lanna Bush Hash is a challenging men only run.
For more details contat Lanna Bush Hash at: lanna...@gmail.com.
************
Hare Line
List Of Hashers That Have Not Hared A Run
The Jungle Hare Line now has a list of hashers who have been on a Jungle run in the last two years, but have not hared a run. If your name is on the list, please consider giving back to the Jungle by haring one of the open run dates.
You can check the @JungleHareLinePage for run dates in need of a hare.
Register to a hare a Jungle or Lunar run using the Jungle/Lunar Hare Line Registration Form or by contacting either of the Hare Raisers, @JungleHareRaiserName1 or @JungleHareRaiserName2 at contac...@gmail.com.
Further Incentive to Hare a Run
The Jungle has an additional condition for receiving a run award. In addition to completing 25 runs to reach the next award level, the hasher must also have hared at least one run of the 25 runs to receive their run award. If the hasher did not hare a run in that time period, the award will be held until they have added their name to the hare line to hare an upcoming run.
A Sites And Restricted Areas Map
The Jungle website now has an A Sites And Restricted Areas Map. The map displays all past & future A-Sites, along with known restricted areas. It also indentifies A-Sites for future runs that may be too close to each other or a restricted area. The map is also useful for hares planning which area to use for their run as it displays A-Sites that have not been used recently, and are not near any A-Sites selected for upcoming runs.
If you know of, or become aware of restricted areas, or areas where we need to seek permission, please send the relevant information to contac...@gmail.com.
The map information is also saved in a Google Earth file and is available for download at Google Earth File Of Hash Trails. To ensure the Google Earth file has the most recent trails, please send and email to @JungleEmail to request the file be updated.
************
Jungle Sponsors
Jungle Sponsors
Sponsors: If you would like your event mentioned in our weekly emails, please send event details at least one week prior to contac...@gmail.com.
Reminder to all to please support our Jungle sponsors with your custom. A complete list can be found on the Jungle Sponsors.
Sponsor Banner
Look for this sign around town, it will tell you that establishment is a proud sponsor of the PJH3.
************
Jungle Run Reports
Jungle Run Reports & Photos
All Jungle run reports can be found at Jungle Run Reports and run photos at Jungle Run Photos.
Scribe Report For The Last Run Not Available Yet
Jungle Hash
Jungle News
Grand Opening Party - Madame Sin H3 Noodles
14 January: Our fellow hasher, Madame Sin, will be hosting a grand opening party for the world's first H3 Noodle Shop on Tuesday, 14 January. To celebrate this auspicious occassion, all hashers will receive free noodles between 4 and 6pm. Of course, this being a H3 Noodle Shop, cheap beer will be available all day.
Madame Sin H3 Noodles is located on Soi 5 Pratamnak, next to the Mini Big C, 100m from the beach on the righthand side. This was such an important event, Google Maps has already published the location (link).
Hare Line
Hare Line Condition: ORANGE, Next Open Run Is Run #439, 01 Mar 2020
Please review the Jungle Hare Line for all open run dates and register to hare a Jungle run using the Jungle/Lunar Hare Line Registration Form.
Khao Mai Keao Clean Up
18 January: In light of recent criticism regarding the amount of paper being left by hashers in KMK The Wizard is organising a clean up of some of the more popular trails. The objective will be to remove all litter, not just hash paper and to demonstrate our commitment to keeping our treasured hashing areas in good order. This is a great opportunity for us to positively connect with the rest of the community that uses KMK, and hopefully the wider community too.
Full details will be announced in the next few days via FB and email.
Nations Day Run
15 March: Mark your calendars for the annual Nations Day run. Future hares please note we have selected the sala behind the Shell station off of hwy 36 (12.942521, 100.99937) as the a-site. It would be greatly appreciated if runs between now and 15 March would steer clear of using that area.
************
Upcoming Jungle Events
19 January: Run #436: Hares: The Wizard, Delboy
Misdirections and map to A-Site at end of this email.
Hashers: Please try to bring correct change to the runs, or at the very least pay your signup fee with notes smaller than 1,000B. Those with correct change will be given preference at the sign up table.
Please bring correct change to the runs, or at the very least pay your signup fee with notes smaller than 1,000B. As we're usually short of 50B notes, payment with these notes would be much appreciated.
22 January: Chimps Bar Hop: First beer will be at TBA at 18:00 pm.
Led By: Leader Needed
No sign up - pay as you go. Drink at your own pace.
02 February: Run #437: Post Australia Day Run, Hares: Bam Bam, Diddy Dicker, White Chinaman
04 February: Jungle Mismanagement Meeting: All are welcome and encouraged to attend - Drinking & Meeting starts @ 18:00 pm at Easy R-Con Bar. (Monkey mismanagement meeting @ 17:30 pm)
16 February: Run #438: Sperm Polluter B'day/Anniversary Run, Hares: Beetroot Head, Sperm Polluter, Casper
01 March: Run #439: Hares: Hares Required
Popular Hash Songs
Do you have trouble remembering a hash song when called on. You can now come to the circle prepared with a list of Popular Hash Songs.
************
Jungle Monkey Hash - Men Only
25 January: Run #89: Iron Man Monkey, Hares: Bam Bam, Beetroot Head, Whore In The Window
No. Of Signups On Run: 40, No. On Waitlist: 1, Max No. Of Signups For This Run: 40
Run Report By The Wizard
A Deadly Cocktail (book No 2 in the Loveboat Series)It was more than fate that threw them together that sun drenched day, it was destiny, a destiny so tangible everyone knew about it long before it ever happened. Loveboat and Pol Dancer, together as hares, a coming together of two minds, two spirits and two countries. She was the ice-cold blonde with steely blue eyes that could freeze a man’s heart from the other side of a bar but a smile that could launch a thousand battleships. She was from Sweden, and you could tell, for as with a Volvo or an Ikea table, she was well put together and would give years of faultless service, and like meatballs, she was kinda saucy and middle-aged men everywhere wanted a taste of her. He was cut from a different cloth, ruthless and determined but disarming with his perma-grin that fooled lesser men into underestimating him. But he had grown up in the seedy back streets of Copenhagen performing drag shows for lusty sailors around the docks. Inevitably he developed a razor-sharp edge and with it a reputation of a man not to be trifled with. Eventually, his show brought him international renown, fame and fortune, and he was spending his twilight years masquerading as a Gentleman whilst trawling the bars of South East Asia and dressing up as a penguin every two months on a Saturday night. He was the gin to her tonic, the whiskey to her ginger…. the martini to her olive…. together they were deadly.
For weeks they had been meeting in secret, shady spots, conspiring together to bring mayhem to the PJH3 run, and those that had suffered at the hands of Loveboat previously were worried, very worried, and with good reason. Behind that smile lay the cold heart of a sadist who took pleasure from the misery of the mid-packers and the torment of the FRBs. Pol Dancer, well he was more of an open book to us, but we knew that he wouldn’t be able to help himself falling under the spell of Loveboat and once again she would have free reign over trail and markings. And so it was. Many chose not to attend rather than suffer again; Pussy Snatcher had vowed never to leave his home unattended since the unwelcome new neighbours moved in, Jellobut was nursing a strained ego sustained on the doubles court and the tigerish Dirt Looney had cast aside all other plans to stay sober for the day.
Sweaty palms and racing hearts greeted the hares briefing, the two accomplished hares knew how to put them at ease but still a sense of impending doom hung over the small but perfectly formed circle. Time stood still as they heard about cattle, barbed wire, rabid dogs and minefields but everyone just wanted to move, to get going, to face their demons. It was only minutes after setting off that the first of those demons manifested themselves – an area where many had perished at a check previously encountered, along with the realisation of the steep climb that would surely follow. The few FRBs began to disappear from sight of the rest of the pack and so to, the ever-dwindling shouts of on on. The midpackers, huddled together for security, made steady progress through the pathless wasteland, some cursing with pain from the bites of red ants and thorns tearing into their puny flesh others oblivious to the pain and discomfort. The mood was broken when Window Wanker, the optimistic North Englishman called out, but not in pain, but in confusion - as for the first time ever he encountered a back check and knew not how to cope with this new distraction. Before there was any chance for serious harm, he was surrounded by fellow midpackers who took time out to explain that his hallucinations about being at the very front of the pack had been brought about by a lack of oxygen and a recent lack of pies and peas. Order was resumed, and the sorry crew continued on their endless march. As the minutes passed the line of men became stretched and individuals were being left behind to meet their own fates. The paper that had been strategically placed became more and more scarce as though the two hares had a very limited supply, but all was not lost as Loveboat’s favourite perfume which she always wore on hashes lingered in the still evening air, there was no mistaking the scent of Eau de Canal no 5, and the hapless runners were safe again. Eventually though, they all returned, some of them broken, some unable to speak but they had all survived! Nobody was counted out at the start of this misadventure but they were all counted in as Loveboat had secretly organised a game of Russian Roulette for the 20th runner in. Nobody perished in this game and one person went home with a bottle of liquor rather than a bullet. A collective sigh of relief.
It was over! Everyone was going to go home, to their families, their loved ones or to their studio rooms where they live in splendid isolation except for when they are all brought together at the hash, some chose not to come but for those who did the memories will remain clear for hours, until Chang takes hold and they forget about hardships and merely reminisce on a wonderful day. Watch out for No 3 in the series…it’ll be a thriller.
Jungle Hash
Jungle News
Hare Line
Hare Line Condition: ORANGE, Next Open Run Is Run #439, 01 Mar 2020
Please review the Jungle Hare Line for all open run dates and register to hare a Jungle run using the Jungle/Lunar Hare Line Registration Form.
Thank You From Madame Sin
Madame Sin and Arse Bandit would like to extend a big thank you to all the hashers that attended the grand opening of Madame Sin's H3 Noodles. It's a great location to enjoy a bowl of noodles and beer. So much so we've scheduled the next mismanagement meeting at her noodle shop. Plans are also afoot to start and end a Lunar Run in the near future from her shop.
Joint GM's Run
09 March: Mark your calendars for this year's Joint GM's Run, to be hosted by the PH3.
Nations Day Run
15 March: Mark your calendars for the annual Nations Day run. Future hares please note we have selected the sala behind the Shell station off of hwy 36 (12.942521, 100.99937) as the a-site. It would be greatly appreciated if runs between now and 15 March would steer clear of using that area.
************
Upcoming Jungle Events
19 January: Run #436: Hares: The Wizard, Delboy
Misdirections and map to A-Site at end of this email.
Hashers: Please try to bring correct change to the runs, or at the very least pay your signup fee with notes smaller than 1,000B. Those with correct change will be given preference at the sign up table.
Please bring correct change to the runs, or at the very least pay your signup fee with notes smaller than 1,000B. As we're usually short of 50B notes, payment with these notes would be much appreciated.
22 January: Chimps Bar Hop: First beer will be at TBA at 18:00 pm.
Led By: Leader Needed
No sign up - pay as you go. Drink at your own pace.
31 January: Lunar Run #74: Oodles of Noodles Run
Hares: Arse Bandit, Beetroot Head, Hard On, Dirt Looney
On out 18:30 at Madam Sin H3 Noodles Bar.
02 February: Run #437: Post Australia Day Run, Hares: Bam Bam, Diddy Dicker, White Chinaman
04 February: Jungle Mismanagement Meeting: All are welcome and encouraged to attend - Drinking & Meeting starts @ 18:00 pm at Madame Sin H3 Noodles. (Monkey mismanagement meeting @ 17:30 pm)
16 February: Run #438: Sperm Polluter B'day/Anniversary Run, Hares: Beetroot Head, Sperm Polluter, Casper
01 March: Run #439: Hares: Hares Required
Popular Hash Songs
Do you have trouble remembering a hash song when called on. You can now come to the circle prepared with a list of Popular Hash Songs.
************
Jungle Monkey Hash - Men Only
25 January: Run #89: Iron Man Monkey, Hares: Bam Bam, Beetroot Head, Whore In The Window
No. Of Signups On Run: 40, No. On Waitlist: 1, Max No. Of Signups For This Run: 40
Max No. Of Signups For This Run Has Been Reached. New Signups Will Be Added To The Waitlist.
Please register to attend this Monkey run by using the Next Monkey Run Registration Form.
************
Special Runs
Lanna Bush Hash Run #38 - Leap Lanna Run
29 February, 2020: Hares: SoB & Pussy Virus
Location: Chiang Kong (Chiang Rai Province)
The Lanna Bush Hash is a challenging men only run.
Friday 28th Feb - welcome 'hash bash' in Chiang Rai with activities kicking off in Pussy Rainbow's Mala Bar - book your Friday night hotel in Chiang Rai if you want to pre-run hydrate.
For more details contat Lanna Bush Hash at: lanna...@gmail.com.
************
Hare Line
List Of Hashers That Have Not Hared A Run
The Jungle Hare Line now has a list of hashers who have been on a Jungle run in the last two years, but have not hared a run. If your name is on the list, please consider giving back to the Jungle by haring one of the open run dates.
You can check the @JungleHareLinePage for run dates in need of a hare.
Register to a hare a Jungle or Lunar run using the Jungle/Lunar Hare Line Registration Form or by contacting either of the Hare Raisers, @JungleHareRaiserName1 or @JungleHareRaiserName2 at contac...@gmail.com.
Further Incentive to Hare a Run
The Jungle has an additional condition for receiving a run award. In addition to completing 25 runs to reach the next award level, the hasher must also have hared at least one run of the 25 runs to receive their run award. If the hasher did not hare a run in that time period, the award will be held until they have added their name to the hare line to hare an upcoming run.
A Sites And Restricted Areas Map
The Jungle website now has an A Sites And Restricted Areas Map. The map displays all past & future A-Sites, along with known restricted areas. It also indentifies A-Sites for future runs that may be too close to each other or a restricted area. The map is also useful for hares planning which area to use for their run as it displays A-Sites that have not been used recently, and are not near any A-Sites selected for upcoming runs.
If you know of, or become aware of restricted areas, or areas where we need to seek permission, please send the relevant information to contac...@gmail.com.
The map information is also saved in a Google Earth file and is available for download at Google Earth File Of Hash Trails. To ensure the Google Earth file has the most recent trails, please send and email to @JungleEmail to request the file be updated.
************
Jungle Sponsors
Jungle Sponsors
Sponsors: If you would like your event mentioned in our weekly emails, please send event details at least one week prior to contac...@gmail.com.
Sponsor Banner
Look for this sign around town, it will tell you that establishment is a proud sponsor of the PJH3.
************
Jungle Run Reports
Jungle Run Reports & Photos
All Jungle run reports can be found at Jungle Run Reports and run photos at Jungle Run Photos.
Run Report By The Wizard
A Deadly Cocktail (book No 2 in the Loveboat Series)It was more than fate that threw them together that sun drenched day, it was destiny, a destiny so tangible everyone knew about it long before it ever happened. Loveboat and Pol Dancer, together as hares, a coming together of two minds, two spirits and two countries. She was the ice-cold blonde with steely blue eyes that could freeze a man’s heart from the other side of a bar but a smile that could launch a thousand battleships. She was from Sweden, and you could tell, for as with a Volvo or an Ikea table, she was well put together and would give years of faultless service, and like meatballs, she was kinda saucy and middle-aged men everywhere wanted a taste of her. He was cut from a different cloth, ruthless and determined but disarming with his perma-grin that fooled lesser men into underestimating him. But he had grown up in the seedy back streets of Copenhagen performing drag shows for lusty sailors around the docks. Inevitably he developed a razor-sharp edge and with it a reputation of a man not to be trifled with. Eventually, his show brought him international renown, fame and fortune, and he was spending his twilight years masquerading as a Gentleman whilst trawling the bars of South East Asia and dressing up as a penguin every two months on a Saturday night. He was the gin to her tonic, the whiskey to her ginger…. the martini to her olive…. together they were deadly.
For weeks they had been meeting in secret, shady spots, conspiring together to bring mayhem to the PJH3 run, and those that had suffered at the hands of Loveboat previously were worried, very worried, and with good reason. Behind that smile lay the cold heart of a sadist who took pleasure from the misery of the mid-packers and the torment of the FRBs. Pol Dancer, well he was more of an open book to us, but we knew that he wouldn’t be able to help himself falling under the spell of Loveboat and once again she would have free reign over trail and markings. And so it was. Many chose not to attend rather than suffer again; Pussy Snatcher had vowed never to leave his home unattended since the unwelcome new neighbours moved in, Jellobut was nursing a strained ego sustained on the doubles court and the tigerish Dirt Looney had cast aside all other plans to stay sober for the day.
Sweaty palms and racing hearts greeted the hares briefing, the two accomplished hares knew how to put them at ease but still a sense of impending doom hung over the small but perfectly formed circle. Time stood still as they heard about cattle, barbed wire, rabid dogs and minefields but everyone just wanted to move, to get going, to face their demons. It was only minutes after setting off that the first of those demons manifested themselves – an area where many had perished at a check previously encountered, along with the realisation of the steep climb that would surely follow. The few FRBs began to disappear from sight of the rest of the pack and so to, the ever-dwindling shouts of on on. The midpackers, huddled together for security, made steady progress through the pathless wasteland, some cursing with pain from the bites of red ants and thorns tearing into their puny flesh others oblivious to the pain and discomfort. The mood was broken when Window Wanker, the optimistic North Englishman called out, but not in pain, but in confusion - as for the first time ever he encountered a back check and knew not how to cope with this new distraction. Before there was any chance for serious harm, he was surrounded by fellow midpackers who took time out to explain that his hallucinations about being at the very front of the pack had been brought about by a lack of oxygen and a recent lack of pies and peas. Order was resumed, and the sorry crew continued on their endless march. As the minutes passed the line of men became stretched and individuals were being left behind to meet their own fates. The paper that had been strategically placed became more and more scarce as though the two hares had a very limited supply, but all was not lost as Loveboat’s favourite perfume which she always wore on hashes lingered in the still evening air, there was no mistaking the scent of Eau de Canal no 5, and the hapless runners were safe again. Eventually though, they all returned, some of them broken, some unable to speak but they had all survived! Nobody was counted out at the start of this misadventure but they were all counted in as Loveboat had secretly organised a game of Russian Roulette for the 20th runner in. Nobody perished in this game and one person went home with a bottle of liquor rather than a bullet. A collective sigh of relief.
It was over! Everyone was going to go home, to their families, their loved ones or to their studio rooms where they live in splendid isolation except for when they are all brought together at the hash, some chose not to come but for those who did the memories will remain clear for hours, until Chang takes hold and they forget about hardships and merely reminisce on a wonderful day. Watch out for No 3 in the series…it’ll be a thriller.
Misdirections To A-Site
From Pattaya Tai, turn right onto Sukhumvit Rd and drive south to Soi Huay Yai, turn left at the traffic lights and drive all the way out to highway 331.
At 331 turn left and drive up to the first U-turn approx 1.5kms, do a U-turn and drive back towards Sattahip for approx 5.7kms, approx 200 metres past the entrance to the Asian University look for a HHH to turn left.
Turn left and continue on this sealed road for approx 3.7kms and look for a HHH to turn left.
Turn left up this dirt track and almost immediately take the dirt track to your left, the A site is on your left opposite a building.
Jungle Hash
Jungle News
Hare Line
Hare Line Condition: GREEN, Next Open Run Is Run #441, 05 Apr 2020
Please review the Jungle Hare Line for all open run dates and register to hare a Jungle run using the Jungle/Lunar Hare Line Registration Form.
Co-Hare Needed
Thank you to Spastic Whore King for agreeing to hare the 1 March, Run # 4329. That put the hare line back to condition Green. He is in need of a co-hare though. If you can help him out, please contact him or send an email to contac...@gmail.com.
Joint GM's Run
09 March: Mark your calendars for this year's Joint GM's Run, to be hosted by the PH3.
Nations Day Run
15 March: Mark your calendars for the annual Nations Day run. Future hares please note we have selected the sala behind the Shell station off of hwy 36 (12.942521, 100.99937) as the a-site. It would be greatly appreciated if runs between now and 15 March would steer clear of using that area.
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Upcoming Jungle Events
22 January: Chimps Bar Hop: First beer will be at Nikom Court at 18:00 pm.
Led By: No Leader
No sign up - pay as you go. Drink at your own pace.
First Bar: Nikom Court
31 January: Lunar Run #74: Oodles of Noodles Run
Hares: Arse Bandit, Beetroot Head, Hard On, Dirt Looney
On out 18:30 at Madam Sin H3 Noodles Bar.
02 February: Run #437: Post Australia Day Run, Hares: Bam Bam, Diddy Dicker, White Chinaman, Crap Thai
Hashers: Please try to bring correct change to the runs, or at the very least pay your signup fee with notes smaller than 1,000B. Those with correct change will be given preference at the sign up table.
Please bring correct change to the runs, or at the very least pay your signup fee with notes smaller than 1,000B. As we're usually short of 50B notes, payment with these notes would be much appreciated.
04 February: Jungle Mismanagement Meeting: All are welcome and encouraged to attend - Drinking & Meeting starts @ 18:00 pm at Madame Sin H3 Noodles. (Monkey mismanagement meeting @ 17:30 pm)
16 February: Run #438: Sperm Polluter B'day/Anniversary Run, Hares: Beetroot Head, Sperm Polluter, Casper
01 March: Run #439: Hares: Spastic Whore King
15 March: Run #440: Nations Day, Hares: Pussy Snatcher, Jellobutt, Arse Bandit
Run Report By Unknown At This Time
Waiting for scribe to finish and submit report.Jungle Hash
Jungle News
Hare Line
Hare Line Condition: GREEN, Next Open Run Is Run #441, 05 Apr 2020
Please review the Jungle Hare Line for all open run dates and register to hare a Jungle run using the Jungle/Lunar Hare Line Registration Form.
Joint GM's Run
09 March: Mark your calendars for this year's Joint GM's Run, to be hosted by the PH3.
Nations Day Run
15 March: Mark your calendars for the annual Nations Day run. Future hares please note we have selected the sala behind the Shell station off of hwy 36 (12.942521, 100.99937) as the a-site. It would be greatly appreciated if runs between now and 15 March would steer clear of using that area.
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Upcoming Jungle Events
31 January: Lunar Run #74: Oodles of Noodles Run
Hares: Arse Bandit, Beetroot Head, Hard On, Dirt Looney
On out 18:30 at Madam Sin H3 Noodles Bar.
Baht bus will leave Buffalo Bar at 17:30pm and return 21:00pm. Cost is 100B.
Rember to bring a torch.
02 February: Run #437: Post Australia Day Run, Hares: Bam Bam, Diddy Dicker, White Chinaman, Crap Thai
Hashers: Please try to bring correct change to the runs, or at the very least pay your signup fee with notes smaller than 1,000B. Those with correct change will be given preference at the sign up table.
Please bring correct change to the runs, or at the very least pay your signup fee with notes smaller than 1,000B. As we're usually short of 50B notes, payment with these notes would be much appreciated.
04 February: Jungle Mismanagement Meeting: All are welcome and encouraged to attend - Drinking & Meeting starts @ 18:00 pm at Madame Sin H3 Noodles. (Monkey mismanagement meeting @ 17:30 pm)
16 February: Run #438: Sperm Polluter B'day/Anniversary Run, Hares: Beetroot Head, Sperm Polluter, Casper
19 February: Chimps Bar Hop: First beer will be at TBA at 18:00 pm.
Led By: Leader Needed
No sign up - pay as you go. Drink at your own pace.
01 March: Run #439: Hares: Spastic Whore King
15 March: Run #440: Nations Day, Hares: Pussy Snatcher, Jellobutt, Arse Bandit
Popular Hash Songs
Do you have trouble remembering a hash song when called on. You can now come to the circle prepared with a list of Popular Hash Songs.
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Jungle Monkey Hash - Men Only
21 March: Run #90: Grandes Cojones Monkey, Hares: Arse Bandit, Sour Kraut Bone Collector, Arseholeo
No. Of Signups On Run: 40, No. On Waitlist: 2, Max No. Of Signups For This Run: 40
Max No. Of Signups For This Run Has Been Reached. New Signups Will Be Added To The Waitlist.
Please register to attend this Monkey run by using the Next Monkey Run Registration Form.
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Special Runs
Lanna Bush Hash Run #38 - Leap Lanna Run
29 February, 2020: Hares: SoB & Pussy Virus
Location: Chiang Kong (Chiang Rai Province)
The Lanna Bush Hash is a challenging men only run.
Saturday 29th Feb - Registration & Run Start 12:00 in the Car Park of the Namkhong Riverside Hotel, Chiang Kong
Friday 28th Feb - welcome drinks in CHIANG KONG with activities kicking off in Rin Bar (nearby to Namkhong Riverside Hotel) at 19:00.
For more details contat Lanna Bush Hash at: lanna...@gmail.com.
*** Please would you register your intent to attend by sending an email to SoB (marc....@probus.asia) ASAP ***
Additionally Lanna Bush Hasher Saggy Balls who owns Siam Tara Resort, Chiang Khong. www.siamtararesort.com has made the following offer:
Current rates are advertised at Baht 1,200/night, but I can do a deal for all the hashers for Baht 800/night including breakfast.
This can be booked direct through me on e-mail "siamtar...@gmail.com" or phone Saggy Balls on 0878895242.
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Hare Line
List Of Hashers That Have Not Hared A Run
The Jungle Hare Line now has a list of hashers who have been on a Jungle run in the last two years, but have not hared a run. If your name is on the list, please consider giving back to the Jungle by haring one of the open run dates.
You can check the @JungleHareLinePage for run dates in need of a hare.
Register to a hare a Jungle or Lunar run using the Jungle/Lunar Hare Line Registration Form or by contacting either of the Hare Raisers, @JungleHareRaiserName1 or @JungleHareRaiserName2 at contac...@gmail.com.
Further Incentive to Hare a Run
The Jungle has an additional condition for receiving a run award. In addition to completing 25 runs to reach the next award level, the hasher must also have hared at least one run of the 25 runs to receive their run award. If the hasher did not hare a run in that time period, the award will be held until they have added their name to the hare line to hare an upcoming run.
A Sites And Restricted Areas Map
The Jungle website now has an A Sites And Restricted Areas Map. The map displays all past & future A-Sites, along with known restricted areas. It also indentifies A-Sites for future runs that may be too close to each other or a restricted area. The map is also useful for hares planning which area to use for their run as it displays A-Sites that have not been used recently, and are not near any A-Sites selected for upcoming runs.
If you know of, or become aware of restricted areas, or areas where we need to seek permission, please send the relevant information to contac...@gmail.com.
The map information is also saved in a Google Earth file and is available for download at Google Earth File Of Hash Trails. To ensure the Google Earth file has the most recent trails, please send and email to @JungleEmail to request the file be updated.
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Jungle Sponsors
Jungle Sponsors
Sponsors: If you would like your event mentioned in our weekly emails, please send event details at least one week prior to contac...@gmail.com.
Sponsor Banner
Look for this sign around town, it will tell you that establishment is a proud sponsor of the PJH3.
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Jungle Run Reports
Jungle Run Reports & Photos
All Jungle run reports can be found at Jungle Run Reports and run photos at Jungle Run Photos.
Run Report By The Ghost Rider
Cannonball: Hey Ass bandit, I heard your GF just opened up a noodle shop. Why she do that?Ass Bandit: Well, she used to work in a beer bar but she wanted to change her occupation.
CB: Oh, I see, so now she's a pasta-tute instead.
AB: Well, girls and noodles have a lot in common.
CB: How's that?
AB: They both wiggle when you eat them.
Ass Bandit: So, Cannonball, before Madam Sin opened her noodle shop we were so broke that I had to sell one of the ducks we were raising. I felt bad about that but we really needed the money. On my way to sell the duck I'm walking down beach road when one of the old ugly hags that work there asked me if I wanted to go short time with her. I told her I didn't have any money only this duck. Well, the girl was very hard up and said, "Ok, I'll take the duck instead of 1000 baht." I said, "alright, but only if you take it up the ass." And she replies, "up to you."
So, we went to the short time room on second road and I gave her one of my best performances. She loved it. In fact, she loved it so much that she wanted me to do it again. Well, I remembered I came down here on a mission to sell the duck for money. So I told her I would f-ck her up the ass again but only if she gives me back my duck. And she says, "no problem". So, I gave it to her again and got my duck back.
Cannonball: That's incredible!
Ass Bandit: But, as I was crossing second road the stupid duck jumped out my arms and into second road, right across from the Avenue. Just then, a f-ucking Chinese double decker tourist bus runs over my duck. Mashed it up all over the street. Blood and guts everywhere. Well, the Chinese tourists felt so bad about killing my duck that they all collected 500 baht each and gave me 10,000 baht in total cash. I couldn't believe it.
When I got home to Madam Sin I gave her the 10,000 baht cash. She was so incredibly happy she went to the market and bought 12 new ducks, came home, and instantly dropped her knickers and bent over as I got my third in and out before noon.
Cannonball: So, let me get this straight....you got a f-ck from the beach road girl for a duck. Then you got the duck back for another f-ck. Then the Chinese bus tourists gave you 10,000 baht for a f-cked up duck. Then you got 12 new ducks and another f-ck.
Ass Bandit: Yea, Cannonball, I see good times ahead.
On On
The Ghost Rider
Jungle Hash
Jungle News
Hare Line
Hare Line Condition: GREEN, Next Open Run Is Run #441, 05 Apr 2020
Please review the Jungle Hare Line for all open run dates and register to hare a Jungle run using the Jungle/Lunar Hare Line Registration Form.
Co-Hare Needed
Thank you to Spastic Whore King for agreeing to hare the 1 March, Run # 439. That put the hare line back to condition Green. He is in need of a co-hare though. If you can help him out, please contact him or send an email to contac...@gmail.com.
Nations Day Run
15 March: Mark your calendars for the annual Nations Day run. Future hares please note we have selected the sala behind the Shell station off of hwy 36 (12.942521, 100.99937) as the a-site. It would be greatly appreciated if runs between now and 15 March would steer clear of using that area.
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Upcoming Jungle Events
02 February: Run #437: Post Australia Day Run, Hares: Bam Bam, Diddy Dicker, White Chinaman, Crap Thai
Misdirections and map to A-Site at end of this email.
Hashers: Please try to bring correct change to the runs, or at the very least pay your signup fee with notes smaller than 1,000B. Those with correct change will be given preference at the sign up table.
Please bring correct change to the runs, or at the very least pay your signup fee with notes smaller than 1,000B. As we're usually short of 50B notes, payment with these notes would be much appreciated.
04 February: Jungle Mismanagement Meeting: All are welcome and encouraged to attend - Drinking & Meeting starts @ 18:00 pm at Madame Sin H3 Noodles. (Monkey mismanagement meeting @ 17:30 pm)
16 February: Run #438: Sperm Polluter B'day/Anniversary Run, Hares: Beetroot Head, Sperm Polluter, Casper
19 February: Chimps Bar Hop: First beer will be at TBA at 18:00 pm.
Led By: Leader Needed
No sign up - pay as you go. Drink at your own pace.
01 March: Run #439: Hares: Spastic Whore King
15 March: Run #440: Nations Day, Hares: Pussy Snatcher, Jellobutt, Arse Bandit
Popular Hash Songs
Do you have trouble remembering a hash song when called on. You can now come to the circle prepared with a list of Popular Hash Songs.
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Jungle Monkey Hash - Men Only
21 March: Run #90: Grandes Cojones Monkey, Hares: Arse Bandit, Sour Kraut Bone Collector, Arseholeo
No. Of Signups On Run: 40, No. On Waitlist: 8, Max No. Of Signups For This Run: 40
Misdirections To A-Site
From Pattaya Tai, turn right onto Sukhumvit Rd and drive south to Soi Phoenix Country Club, turn and drive out to the new motorway overpass.
After passing over the overpass, look for a HHH to turn left halfway up the side of the U-turn traffic island.
Turn left and continue down this dirt road for approx 230 mts and look for a HHH to turn left.
The A site is on your left in the open area at the start of the Oil Palms.
Jungle Hash
Jungle News
Hare Line
Hare Line Condition: ORANGE, Next Open Run Is Run #441, 05 Apr 2020
Please review the Jungle Hare Line for all open run dates and register to hare a Jungle run using the Jungle/Lunar Hare Line Registration Form.
Co-Hare Needed
Thank you to Spastic Whore King for agreeing to hare the 1 March, Run # 439. That put the hare line back to condition Green. He is in need of a co-hare though. If you can help him out, please contact him or send an email to contac...@gmail.com.
Nations Day Run
15 March: Mark your calendars for the annual Nations Day run. Future hares please note we have selected the sala behind the Shell station off of hwy 36 (12.942521, 100.99937) as the a-site. It would be greatly appreciated if runs between now and 15 March would steer clear of using that area.
************
Upcoming Jungle Events
04 February: Jungle Mismanagement Meeting: All are welcome and encouraged to attend - Drinking & Meeting starts @ 18:00 pm at Madame Sin H3 Noodles. (Monkey mismanagement meeting @ 17:30 pm)
Meeting Location: Madame Sin H3 Noodles
16 February: Run #438: Sperm Polluter B'day/Anniversary Run, Hares: Beetroot Head, Sperm Polluter, Casper
Hashers: Please try to bring correct change to the runs, or at the very least pay your signup fee with notes smaller than 1,000B. Those with correct change will be given preference at the sign up table.
Please bring correct change to the runs, or at the very least pay your signup fee with notes smaller than 1,000B. As we're usually short of 50B notes, payment with these notes would be much appreciated.
19 February: Chimps Bar Hop: First beer will be at TBA at 18:00 pm.
Led By: Leader Needed
No sign up - pay as you go. Drink at your own pace.
01 March: Run #439: Hares: Spastic Whore King, Jackal
15 March: Run #440: Nations Day, Hares: Pussy Snatcher, Jellobutt, Arse Bandit
05 April: Run #441: Hares: Hares Required
Popular Hash Songs
Do you have trouble remembering a hash song when called on. You can now come to the circle prepared with a list of Popular Hash Songs.
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Jungle Monkey Hash - Men Only
21 March: Run #90: Grandes Cojones Monkey, Hares: Arse Bandit, Sour Kraut Bone Collector, Arseholeo
No. Of Signups On Run: 40, No. On Waitlist: 10, Max No. Of Signups For This Run: 40
Run Report By Absolutely Fucking Clueless
