And I've answered my own question by doing, duh, some research. Its a known problem with the rpi5 and trixie when using 5g wifi, which I do. It is especially severe if you have a modern wifi routerthat does mesh, 6g, etc. The Broadcom wifi chip can't deal with such things given the current trixie driver. Trixie is definitely not ready for prime time. Add in the Wayland/labwc issues, really?
What's happening is that the wifi driver ends up choking when it sees some of the broadcast the router uses for its mesh management and node switching. It then stalls for a significant time.
Anyway there are some workarounds. One involves editing your wifi config on the pi to force a specific 5g mode. The other depends upon your wifi router, but basically you need to tell it to pin the pi to one node, no fast roaming, etc. Trixie apparently doesn't even like beam-forming.
Oh, and 2.5g isn't that great either because of the antenna placement on the pi5 board, it tends to get overwhelmed with noise from usb cables.
Bill