syllogisms :)

[Karen Wingoof]

Here are some syllogisms recently shared by Aardwizzz in a parallel universe:

That's why I like sillygisms. One of my favorites:

PROOF THAT THERE IS LIFE AFTER DEATH

After a death comes a mourning.
After a morning comes the night.
After the knight comes the bishop.
After the bishop comes the Pope.
The Pope has serious convictions.
After a serious conviction, the judge gives you life.
Therefore there is life... after death.

õ¿õ¬

and

PROOF THAT SNOW IS WHITE

Snow falls from clouds.
Snow clouds are grey.
Grey is almost black.
Black is the color Zorro wears.
Zorro is an outlaw.
An outlaw steals money.
Money makes you happy.
Happy was one of the seven dwarfs.
The seven dwarfs lived with Snow White.
Snow White married Prince Charming.
Snow Charming sounds ridiculous, so she kept her maiden name.

Therefore, Snow is White.

õ¿õ¬

More?

[Aardwizz]

Nothing is better than Freedom.

Life in prison is better than nothing.

Therefore, life in prison is better than freedom.

õ¿õ¬

[Aardwizz]

PROOF THAT SUCCESS IS EVIL

(1) Success is the product of time and money

SUCCESS = TIME x MONEY

(2)  Time is money.

TIME = MONEY

Substituting:

SUCCESS = (MONEY) x MONEY

SUCCESS = MONEY²

(3)  Money is the root of all evil

MONEY = √(EVIL)

Substituting:

SUCCESS = (√(EVIL))²

SUCCESS = EVIL

 õ¿õ¬

(I'd seen this done with Women are evil, but (1), the first premise isn't as solid as with success, (2) I don't believe it, and (3) if I did prove it, the evil women here would retaliate, and who wants THAT?)

[Aardwizz]

"If you don't study, you will fail.  If you study, you won't fail"

Conclusion:

NOT STUDY  = FAIL

STUDY  = NOT FAIL

Add the two equations together and we get:

NOT STUDY + STUDY = FAIL + NOT FAIL

Group the common terms

STUDY (NOT + 1) = FAIL (NOT + 1)

Simplify:

STUDY = FAIL

So it's better not to study.

õ¿õ¬

[Karen Wingoof]

I am so glad you cleared this up for us. I see now that I was confused about it all, but your eloquence has helped me see the light... I mean... I'm pretty sure. So... we're not supposed to study, right?